WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF THE LEGAL BELLETRIST
(Part of the The Fears series)
It’s natural for every human being on the face of the planet to be comfortable with the status quo. We all revel in the comfort zone, with our little routines, with going to the same grocery stores, eating at the same restaurants, and doing the same thing. It gives us a sense of control – and which one of us doesn’t want to have a sense of control over our own lives? We all do.
It makes us feel secure, like we are on top of things – especially in a world that often feels like it’s so out of control. With our lives feeling like everything fits nicely into little compartments, tidy and well organized, adding anything into the mix other than what we know is enough to drive anyone over the edge.
Yes, we are talking about change. A somewhat innocuous word but one that has the ability to send chills up and down the spine of even the strongest person. Sweat dripping down your face and your palms getting hot and flustered, the thought of anything disrupting your beautiful, predictable world has you in a tailspin. And trust us, you wouldn’t be alone.
In a recent study by TePe as part of a campaign raising awareness about the importance of good oral health, it found that millions of Brits admit they hate change – but many recognise it could be holding them back. For example, 32% of those polled fear they’ve missed out on new experiences and opportunities because of their reluctance to break the mould, while 26% of adults lack the confidence to try new things, and 14% worry their attitude to change will negatively affect their health (Independent).
But what makes us fear change?

According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, the fear of change is evolutionary and dates back to ancestral times –
“Our ancestors preferred constancy as they inherently knew that change often brought a lack of safety.
For example, our ancestors needed to move around to search for food, water, and shelter to survive. Staying in a location where these essential resources had been depleted out of fear could ultimately lead to starvation, dehydration, or death of the pack.” (Very Well Mind)
It makes sense – intrinsically we are aware that dealing with the unknown or the unfamiliar poses a risk: it might be scary; it might bring with it a “lack of safety.” All theoretical, let’s be honest. None of us are fighting for our survival out in the wilderness – at least not in large numbers in any event – but that irrational fear is still present.
And it’s that irrational fear that says:
“If I were to try something new (e.g. move house, change jobs, get into a new relationship etc.), it might be incredible, but:
- I might fail
- I might not meet expectations
- I might be disappointed
- I might be out of my depth
- I might not know what is going on
- I might feel like an imposter.”
And that’s what keeps holding us back.
Change is scary. It’s the act of putting yourself out there – putting yourself into a vulnerable position, sometimes having to start from scratch – that poses a very real fear for most rational people.
As Manly sets out in Very Well Mind –
“When life feels predictable, we experience less stress and anxiety because we know what to expect. When life doesn’t feel predictable, and we are uncertain about what might be around the next corner, we feel stressed and anxious.”
When your irrational fear of change is more than just the jitters

While we all experience the fear of change, having a phobia like metathesiophobia will result in more extreme symptoms.
Some of the common signs and symptoms of metathesiophobia are set out below (though if you recognise any of these symptoms, before jumping to conclusions, do speak to your doctor for a formal diagnosis) –
- You feel stuck in a situation but make no attempt at creating positive change;
- You stay in a failing or toxic relationship, knowing it best to leave;
- You remain in a dead-end job instead of searching for an ideal career;
- You have extreme anxiety over what is going to happen in your future;
- You cannot accept simple life changes whether within or outside of your control;
- You refuse to stray from an everyday routine because you’re uncertain of what will happen if you don’t stick to it;
- You don’t socialise;
- You frequently feel nauseous or have indigestion when you think about change;
- You experience heart palpitations when you think about change, and
- You find yourself shaking, sweating, or trembling at the thought of change.
To further understand how the fear of change can affect someone in a clinical sense, one needs to understand the difference between constructive and destructive fear.
Constructive fear is the fear of an actual, physical threat and its purpose is to keep one safe from danger.
Destructive fear – as the converse implies – is the fear of a non-existent threat i.e. there’s no actual threat. It’s only our minds playing tricks on us.
Depending on the severity of a person’s fear of change, the fear could become a destructive fear. If left untreated or unchecked it could lead to –
- Depression;
- Anxiety;
- Isolation;
- Avoidance;
- Stress;
- Substance use disorders;
- Staying in unhealthy environments;
- Staying in toxic relationships, and
- Suicidal ideation (Very Well Mind)
If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the Suicide Crisis Helpline in South Africa on 0800 567 567 for support and assistance from a trained counsellor.
How can one cope with the fear of change?
Here are a few suggestions:






As Roy T. Bennett says –
“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”
Change can be seen as an act of transformation if you just get out of your own way.
(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – Very Well Mind; Psychology Today; Real Simple and Heart).

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