<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" > <channel> <title> Comments on: Workplace Ostracism: Tackling the silent office bully </title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Wed, 29 Jan 2025 02:28:13 +0000</lastBuildDate> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <item> <title> By: Jessica </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2533</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jessica]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jan 2025 02:28:13 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2533</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1986">Lorna Johnson</a>. Hey Lorna did you end up leaving yoir job? This sounds so familiar to me. I don't know if you've been diagnosed with autism or adhd but this is a common theme with most of us. We are the outsiders and are usually always treated as such at most jobs. I've been through so many jobs at the age of 40 and I'm absolutely tired at this point.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1986">Lorna Johnson</a>.</p> <p>Hey Lorna did you end up leaving yoir job? This sounds so familiar to me. I don’t know if you’ve been diagnosed with autism or adhd but this is a common theme with most of us. We are the outsiders and are usually always treated as such at most jobs. I’ve been through so many jobs at the age of 40 and I’m absolutely tired at this point.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Lucinda Welch </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2516</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Lucinda Welch]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 16 Jan 2025 16:34:41 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2516</guid> <description><![CDATA[I’m sitting in my office right now, surrounded by three people who are completely wrapped up in their own little clique. They’re chatting, laughing, going to lunch together, helping each other with work—everything you’d expect an office team to do. And then there’s me. Sitting in the corner, working on tasks that are similar to theirs but just separate enough to make me feel like I don’t belong. When I try to join in or ask a question, the whole room goes silent, like I’ve interrupted something. If I try to make conversation, I get blank stares or those sly looks people give when they’re judging you. They talk over me all the time. My work is constantly nitpicked, not in a helpful way, but like they’re looking for excuses to criticize. They whisper among themselves, and half the time, they don’t even bother saying “hello” or “goodbye.” I say it every single day, hoping maybe this time they’ll respond warmly, but at best, I get a grunt or a glance. The only time they showed me even the smallest bit of kindness was when my grandmother was dying. For a week, they were supportive, asked how I was, and actually treated me like a person. But as soon as that week was over, it all went back to how it was before—cold, dismissive, and lonely. Most days, I go the whole day without speaking to anyone. I’ve been here seven months, and it’s starting to feel like I’m serving a sentence instead of working a job. But I love the work itself. That’s the part that kills me. I want to stay because it’s great experience and I know it will help me in the long run, but the environment is so toxic that some days I cry on the drive home. I feel like I’m being silly, like I’m overreacting, but I can’t help it. This article hit me so hard because it describes exactly how I feel. I wish I had the courage to send it to my manager, but I don’t. Maybe one day I will—probably right before I leave. For now, I’m just counting down the months. Eighteen more to go, and then I can leave with the experience I need to move forward.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m sitting in my office right now, surrounded by three people who are completely wrapped up in their own little clique. They’re chatting, laughing, going to lunch together, helping each other with work—everything you’d expect an office team to do. And then there’s me. Sitting in the corner, working on tasks that are similar to theirs but just separate enough to make me feel like I don’t belong.</p> <p>When I try to join in or ask a question, the whole room goes silent, like I’ve interrupted something. If I try to make conversation, I get blank stares or those sly looks people give when they’re judging you. They talk over me all the time. My work is constantly nitpicked, not in a helpful way, but like they’re looking for excuses to criticize. They whisper among themselves, and half the time, they don’t even bother saying “hello” or “goodbye.” I say it every single day, hoping maybe this time they’ll respond warmly, but at best, I get a grunt or a glance.</p> <p>The only time they showed me even the smallest bit of kindness was when my grandmother was dying. For a week, they were supportive, asked how I was, and actually treated me like a person. But as soon as that week was over, it all went back to how it was before—cold, dismissive, and lonely.</p> <p>Most days, I go the whole day without speaking to anyone. I’ve been here seven months, and it’s starting to feel like I’m serving a sentence instead of working a job. But I love the work itself. That’s the part that kills me. I want to stay because it’s great experience and I know it will help me in the long run, but the environment is so toxic that some days I cry on the drive home. I feel like I’m being silly, like I’m overreacting, but I can’t help it.</p> <p>This article hit me so hard because it describes exactly how I feel. I wish I had the courage to send it to my manager, but I don’t. Maybe one day I will—probably right before I leave. For now, I’m just counting down the months. Eighteen more to go, and then I can leave with the experience I need to move forward.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Rubia </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2144</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Rubia]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 07 Jun 2024 15:19:52 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2144</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-403">Michelle McGrew</a>. This happened to me as a teacher for 20 years. It's impacted my life I should have quit a few months after it started. All teachers from same cultural group. All spoke the same 1st language. I was always the other. I'm on a mental health leave now. All of this happened while I was managing a difficult relationship and trying to raise my son. It's real. It's devastating.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-403">Michelle McGrew</a>.</p> <p>This happened to me as a teacher for 20 years. It’s impacted my life I should have quit a few months after it started. All teachers from same cultural group. All spoke the same 1st language. I was always the other. I’m on a mental health leave now. All of this happened while I was managing a difficult relationship and trying to raise my son. It’s real. It’s devastating.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Jessica </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2135</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jessica]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 01 Jun 2024 12:47:47 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2135</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>. Hi L, so true.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>.</p> <p>Hi L, so true.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Jessica </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2134</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jessica]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 01 Jun 2024 12:44:46 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2134</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>. Hi Joanna, unfortunately you are correct. I’m not in the US but it’s the same in the country I am in. I am actually in HR & had to leave because even if the employee is in the right, we are always there for management, regardless of their unethical and immoral conduct. It’s very disheartening.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>.</p> <p>Hi Joanna, unfortunately you are correct. I’m not in the US but it’s the same in the country I am in. I am actually in HR & had to leave because even if the employee is in the right, we are always there for management, regardless of their unethical and immoral conduct. It’s very disheartening.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: SusanG </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2046</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[SusanG]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 06 Apr 2024 08:18:15 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2046</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>. I agree. Frieda's example seems to fall under avoidance of a very toxic person rather than ostracism. This article is great though. I actually sent it to superior and it opened his eyes.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>.</p> <p>I agree. Frieda’s example seems to fall under avoidance of a very toxic person rather than ostracism. This article is great though. I actually sent it to superior and it opened his eyes.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: SusanG </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2045</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[SusanG]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 06 Apr 2024 08:06:47 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2045</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1415">Mrs Kristine Braddock</a>. I can totally relate. The people who choose to ostracize for an infraction you may have committed don't see the hypocrisy of their own similar infractions. I see this a lot. I am also at least 20 to 30 years older than my coworkers. I work in a public school system and they are the worst.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1415">Mrs Kristine Braddock</a>.</p> <p>I can totally relate. The people who choose to ostracize for an infraction you may have committed don’t see the hypocrisy of their own similar infractions. I see this a lot. I am also at least 20 to 30 years older than my coworkers. I work in a public school system and they are the worst.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Stacy </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1990</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Stacy]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2024 00:32:44 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-1990</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>. Yes especially if you are white and the rest of the team is black and goes to lunch together, has private jokes and makes it clear you are not part of the clique]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>.</p> <p>Yes especially if you are white and the rest of the team is black and goes to lunch together, has private jokes and makes it clear you are not part of the clique</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Lorna Johnson </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1986</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Lorna Johnson]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 26 Feb 2024 22:58:58 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-1986</guid> <description><![CDATA[I seem to get it everywhere I work. I can remember a couple of jobs where ostracism didn't happen. 46 going on 47 here, I've had numerous jobs with different companies and currently work as a TA at a Primary school...and it's happening again. It's entirely predictable for me, I have a mental health problem just to add to the mix. Often I have a bet with my partner on how long i will go until I leave a job. Sad but true. In fact I have a meeting tomorrow, a 'Back To Work' interview where I'm sure they will twist everything around to make it seem as if it's my fault somehow. I'm getting sick of asking for help at work and getting waved off because they are "busy" at that time (but don't offer me another time to talk). It's probably the most nepotistic environment I have ever worked in.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I seem to get it everywhere I work. I can remember a couple of jobs where ostracism didn’t happen. 46 going on 47 here, I’ve had numerous jobs with different companies and currently work as a TA at a Primary school…and it’s happening again. It’s entirely predictable for me, I have a mental health problem just to add to the mix. Often I have a bet with my partner on how long i will go until I leave a job. Sad but true. In fact I have a meeting tomorrow, a ‘Back To Work’ interview where I’m sure they will twist everything around to make it seem as if it’s my fault somehow. I’m getting sick of asking for help at work and getting waved off because they are “busy” at that time (but don’t offer me another time to talk). It’s probably the most nepotistic environment I have ever worked in.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Mal Richards </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1757</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Mal Richards]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 30 Oct 2023 16:01:34 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-1757</guid> <description><![CDATA[It happened on my first day at a new branch about 5 years ago. I said "Hello" to a colleague and she stuck her nose in the air, turned away and flounced off. She hasn't spoken to me from that day but makes a point of chatting and joking with everyone else. I have no idea why. I have reported it to my line manager, but this colleague is so popular with everyone else that they refuse to take any notice of my concerns.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It happened on my first day at a new branch about 5 years ago. I said “Hello” to a colleague and she stuck her nose in the air, turned away and flounced off. She hasn’t spoken to me from that day but makes a point of chatting and joking with everyone else. I have no idea why.<br /> I have reported it to my line manager, but this colleague is so popular with everyone else that they refuse to take any notice of my concerns.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> </channel> </rss>