<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" > <channel> <title> Comments on: Workplace Ostracism: Tackling the silent office bully </title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Sat, 21 Feb 2026 07:09:07 +0000</lastBuildDate> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <item> <title> By: Lewis </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-3308</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 21 Feb 2026 07:09:07 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-3308</guid> <description><![CDATA[Hey, I'm a 36 year old English teacher having my first high school job in Thailand. It started nicely. However, things took a dark turn at work. I'm not the most social person, and decided to mostly keep to myself, declining some "optional" invitations to do extra school related and work party type activities. I feel like I looked up one day and realized I was labeled negatively in the office and at work. It came to a head when we had a meeting to discuss an upcoming school camp. I presented my idea for a game activity contribution and one Thai teacher decided that it wasn't a good idea. She basically humiliated me in front of the whole foreign department because shes insecure, negative and wanted to feel like she contributed something. She called me out for defending my idea, said I wasnt a team player, and suggested a vote to veto my idea. Mind you, this is a GAME for an English camp weekend. Well, I followed the "team's" suggestion to drastically shorte. My game. Low and behold, every participant in my game finished early and could have used more material. It was just one instance, but in that moment all of the subtle sideways vibes culminated and I turned cold to the people in my office. When I stopped efforting and started just reciprocating energy to people around me, positive, negative, or neutral, things got even worse. Ostricism in high form. Anyway, I've decided to leave the job. I have a lovely partner I've met here. So I feel like in a video game where you go on a dark quest and come away with a precious treasure. I'm aiming for a new teaching gig in a new city, and we'll make it work long distance temporarily. Anyway, just wanted to share for anyone feeling left out in the cold. We're humans, we're reasonable. We make mistakes. So learn, grow, use it to become a better person and pass on the peaceful energy to create a better world.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey, I’m a 36 year old English teacher having my first high school job in Thailand. It started nicely. However, things took a dark turn at work. I’m not the most social person, and decided to mostly keep to myself, declining some “optional” invitations to do extra school related and work party type activities. I feel like I looked up one day and realized I was labeled negatively in the office and at work. It came to a head when we had a meeting to discuss an upcoming school camp. I presented my idea for a game activity contribution and one Thai teacher decided that it wasn’t a good idea. She basically humiliated me in front of the whole foreign department because shes insecure, negative and wanted to feel like she contributed something. She called me out for defending my idea, said I wasnt a team player, and suggested a vote to veto my idea. Mind you, this is a GAME for an English camp weekend. Well, I followed the “team’s” suggestion to drastically shorte. My game. Low and behold, every participant in my game finished early and could have used more material. It was just one instance, but in that moment all of the subtle sideways vibes culminated and I turned cold to the people in my office. When I stopped efforting and started just reciprocating energy to people around me, positive, negative, or neutral, things got even worse. Ostricism in high form. Anyway, I’ve decided to leave the job. I have a lovely partner I’ve met here. So I feel like in a video game where you go on a dark quest and come away with a precious treasure. I’m aiming for a new teaching gig in a new city, and we’ll make it work long distance temporarily. Anyway, just wanted to share for anyone feeling left out in the cold. We’re humans, we’re reasonable. We make mistakes. So learn, grow, use it to become a better person and pass on the peaceful energy to create a better world.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Crissy E. </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2805</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Crissy E.]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 14 Jun 2025 09:13:23 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2805</guid> <description><![CDATA[At 55, I sought to re-educate myself, determined to stay competitive in today’s workforce. I was thriving in my dream job—until toxic workplace politics and unchecked misconduct forced me out. Despite documented evidence of wrongdoing, including an incident where a colleague attempted to hand me an Adderall pill in direct violation of workplace policies, leadership failed to act decisively. Instead of enforcing accountability, they protected the young offenders, allowing retaliation to run rampant. When I stood my ground against the backlash, the response was swift and brutal: I was pulled from the schedule, effectively forced to resign. Meanwhile, the individual distributing prescription drugs remained employed, bolstered by a culture that rewards reckless behavior. The repercussions extended beyond the workplace. As a student worker striving to build a future, I continue to face harassment on campus—false narratives spun against me, leaving me isolated and rejected by my peers. The toll is undeniable; my ability to eat and sleep has suffered, and the heartbreak of losing both my employment dignity and income is profound. The most infuriating part? I escalated the situation to a higher authority, only to be met with a shocking dismissal: *“I can’t punish her, she has more to lose than you do.”* What does that even mean? A job loss is devastating no matter who experiences it. I had *everything* on the line—just like her. Income, stability, dignity. And let’s be real, rent in California doesn’t magically adjust for workplace injustice. Yet, I refuse to surrender. I am a survivor. I am a fighter. And I will not be silenced. I continue my studies and will graduate in December and I'm on indeed everyday putting in 5 applications for employment. All employees on the team are in their 20's, and early 30's.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>At 55, I sought to re-educate myself, determined to stay competitive in today’s workforce. I was thriving in my dream job—until toxic workplace politics and unchecked misconduct forced me out. </p> <p>Despite documented evidence of wrongdoing, including an incident where a colleague attempted to hand me an Adderall pill in direct violation of workplace policies, leadership failed to act decisively. Instead of enforcing accountability, they protected the young offenders, allowing retaliation to run rampant. </p> <p>When I stood my ground against the backlash, the response was swift and brutal: I was pulled from the schedule, effectively forced to resign. Meanwhile, the individual distributing prescription drugs remained employed, bolstered by a culture that rewards reckless behavior. </p> <p>The repercussions extended beyond the workplace. As a student worker striving to build a future, I continue to face harassment on campus—false narratives spun against me, leaving me isolated and rejected by my peers. The toll is undeniable; my ability to eat and sleep has suffered, and the heartbreak of losing both my employment dignity and income is profound. </p> <p>The most infuriating part? I escalated the situation to a higher authority, only to be met with a shocking dismissal: *“I can’t punish her, she has more to lose than you do.”* What does that even mean? A job loss is devastating no matter who experiences it. I had *everything* on the line—just like her. Income, stability, dignity. And let’s be real, rent in California doesn’t magically adjust for workplace injustice. </p> <p>Yet, I refuse to surrender. I am a survivor. I am a fighter. And I will not be silenced. I continue my studies and will graduate in December and I’m on indeed everyday putting in 5 applications for employment.</p> <p>All employees on the team are in their 20’s, and early 30’s.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Jessica </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2533</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jessica]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jan 2025 02:28:13 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2533</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1986">Lorna Johnson</a>. Hey Lorna did you end up leaving yoir job? This sounds so familiar to me. I don't know if you've been diagnosed with autism or adhd but this is a common theme with most of us. We are the outsiders and are usually always treated as such at most jobs. I've been through so many jobs at the age of 40 and I'm absolutely tired at this point.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1986">Lorna Johnson</a>.</p> <p>Hey Lorna did you end up leaving yoir job? This sounds so familiar to me. I don’t know if you’ve been diagnosed with autism or adhd but this is a common theme with most of us. We are the outsiders and are usually always treated as such at most jobs. I’ve been through so many jobs at the age of 40 and I’m absolutely tired at this point.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Lucinda Welch </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2516</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Lucinda Welch]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 16 Jan 2025 16:34:41 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2516</guid> <description><![CDATA[I’m sitting in my office right now, surrounded by three people who are completely wrapped up in their own little clique. They’re chatting, laughing, going to lunch together, helping each other with work—everything you’d expect an office team to do. And then there’s me. Sitting in the corner, working on tasks that are similar to theirs but just separate enough to make me feel like I don’t belong. When I try to join in or ask a question, the whole room goes silent, like I’ve interrupted something. If I try to make conversation, I get blank stares or those sly looks people give when they’re judging you. They talk over me all the time. My work is constantly nitpicked, not in a helpful way, but like they’re looking for excuses to criticize. They whisper among themselves, and half the time, they don’t even bother saying “hello” or “goodbye.” I say it every single day, hoping maybe this time they’ll respond warmly, but at best, I get a grunt or a glance. The only time they showed me even the smallest bit of kindness was when my grandmother was dying. For a week, they were supportive, asked how I was, and actually treated me like a person. But as soon as that week was over, it all went back to how it was before—cold, dismissive, and lonely. Most days, I go the whole day without speaking to anyone. I’ve been here seven months, and it’s starting to feel like I’m serving a sentence instead of working a job. But I love the work itself. That’s the part that kills me. I want to stay because it’s great experience and I know it will help me in the long run, but the environment is so toxic that some days I cry on the drive home. I feel like I’m being silly, like I’m overreacting, but I can’t help it. This article hit me so hard because it describes exactly how I feel. I wish I had the courage to send it to my manager, but I don’t. Maybe one day I will—probably right before I leave. For now, I’m just counting down the months. Eighteen more to go, and then I can leave with the experience I need to move forward.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m sitting in my office right now, surrounded by three people who are completely wrapped up in their own little clique. They’re chatting, laughing, going to lunch together, helping each other with work—everything you’d expect an office team to do. And then there’s me. Sitting in the corner, working on tasks that are similar to theirs but just separate enough to make me feel like I don’t belong.</p> <p>When I try to join in or ask a question, the whole room goes silent, like I’ve interrupted something. If I try to make conversation, I get blank stares or those sly looks people give when they’re judging you. They talk over me all the time. My work is constantly nitpicked, not in a helpful way, but like they’re looking for excuses to criticize. They whisper among themselves, and half the time, they don’t even bother saying “hello” or “goodbye.” I say it every single day, hoping maybe this time they’ll respond warmly, but at best, I get a grunt or a glance.</p> <p>The only time they showed me even the smallest bit of kindness was when my grandmother was dying. For a week, they were supportive, asked how I was, and actually treated me like a person. But as soon as that week was over, it all went back to how it was before—cold, dismissive, and lonely.</p> <p>Most days, I go the whole day without speaking to anyone. I’ve been here seven months, and it’s starting to feel like I’m serving a sentence instead of working a job. But I love the work itself. That’s the part that kills me. I want to stay because it’s great experience and I know it will help me in the long run, but the environment is so toxic that some days I cry on the drive home. I feel like I’m being silly, like I’m overreacting, but I can’t help it.</p> <p>This article hit me so hard because it describes exactly how I feel. I wish I had the courage to send it to my manager, but I don’t. Maybe one day I will—probably right before I leave. For now, I’m just counting down the months. Eighteen more to go, and then I can leave with the experience I need to move forward.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Rubia </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2144</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Rubia]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 07 Jun 2024 15:19:52 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2144</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-403">Michelle McGrew</a>. This happened to me as a teacher for 20 years. It's impacted my life I should have quit a few months after it started. All teachers from same cultural group. All spoke the same 1st language. I was always the other. I'm on a mental health leave now. All of this happened while I was managing a difficult relationship and trying to raise my son. It's real. It's devastating.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-403">Michelle McGrew</a>.</p> <p>This happened to me as a teacher for 20 years. It’s impacted my life I should have quit a few months after it started. All teachers from same cultural group. All spoke the same 1st language. I was always the other. I’m on a mental health leave now. All of this happened while I was managing a difficult relationship and trying to raise my son. It’s real. It’s devastating.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Jessica </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2135</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jessica]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 01 Jun 2024 12:47:47 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2135</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>. Hi L, so true.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>.</p> <p>Hi L, so true.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Jessica </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2134</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jessica]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 01 Jun 2024 12:44:46 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2134</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>. Hi Joanna, unfortunately you are correct. I’m not in the US but it’s the same in the country I am in. I am actually in HR & had to leave because even if the employee is in the right, we are always there for management, regardless of their unethical and immoral conduct. It’s very disheartening.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>.</p> <p>Hi Joanna, unfortunately you are correct. I’m not in the US but it’s the same in the country I am in. I am actually in HR & had to leave because even if the employee is in the right, we are always there for management, regardless of their unethical and immoral conduct. It’s very disheartening.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: SusanG </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2046</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[SusanG]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 06 Apr 2024 08:18:15 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2046</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>. I agree. Frieda's example seems to fall under avoidance of a very toxic person rather than ostracism. This article is great though. I actually sent it to superior and it opened his eyes.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1158">L</a>.</p> <p>I agree. Frieda’s example seems to fall under avoidance of a very toxic person rather than ostracism. This article is great though. I actually sent it to superior and it opened his eyes.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: SusanG </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-2045</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[SusanG]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 06 Apr 2024 08:06:47 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-2045</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1415">Mrs Kristine Braddock</a>. I can totally relate. The people who choose to ostracize for an infraction you may have committed don't see the hypocrisy of their own similar infractions. I see this a lot. I am also at least 20 to 30 years older than my coworkers. I work in a public school system and they are the worst.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1415">Mrs Kristine Braddock</a>.</p> <p>I can totally relate. The people who choose to ostracize for an infraction you may have committed don’t see the hypocrisy of their own similar infractions. I see this a lot. I am also at least 20 to 30 years older than my coworkers. I work in a public school system and they are the worst.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Stacy </title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-1990</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Stacy]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2024 00:32:44 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=435#comment-1990</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>. Yes especially if you are white and the rest of the team is black and goes to lunch together, has private jokes and makes it clear you are not part of the clique]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/#comment-465">Joanna</a>.</p> <p>Yes especially if you are white and the rest of the team is black and goes to lunch together, has private jokes and makes it clear you are not part of the clique</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> </channel> </rss>