<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>worry Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/worry/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/worry/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 25 Aug 2022 11:37:42 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>worry Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/worry/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>7 ways to bounce back after failure</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 24 Aug 2022 14:07:58 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[airbnb]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bounce back]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career progression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[failing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[failure before success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling down]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling like a failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[harry potter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcome disappointment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-worth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[successful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4534</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>There is nothing worse than feeling like a failure. But, there is no success without failure. Here are 7 ways to bounce back after failure.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/">7 ways to bounce back after failure</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF<span> </span><a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">What a word.</p> <p><strong><em>Failure. </em></strong></p> <p>All by its “itty-bitty” self, it conjures up feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and embarrassment. All in one go.</p> <p>As if the word itself holds the power of a hundred men and women pointing and laughing because you <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMDgmHB4znc" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tripped on a banana peel and landed flat on your backside</a>. Yes, a completely ridiculous scenario out of scenes of a slapstick comedy.</p> <p>But it does make you think – <em>why does the word hold so much power over us?</em></p> <p>Perhaps it’s because failures seem to make news headlines quicker than success stories do. Let’s be honest.</p> <p>It’s like we all thrive knowing that someone else has failed. It makes us feel good somehow. Like we are not alone in the world of mishap.</p> <p>The truth is, when I asked my husband (again – he suddenly seems to be filled with sage advice) what failure means to him, he couldn’t quite put it into words. Thinking quite hard, he described losing a job, losing a home, having no food to eat, no friends, no family. He basically described the story of Oliver Twist – <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tOkpntQtBM" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“Please Sir, I want some more”</em></a>.</p> <p>Sad to be sure. But rather generic. And devoid of what failure <em>could</em> actually mean. With all due respect to my husband.</p> <p>Why do I say this?</p> <p>Because <strong>every single person who has done anything with their lives has failed. </strong>At least twice. Sometimes more.</p> <p>Don’t believe me?</div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="900" height="708" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/image1.png" alt="" title="image1" class="wp-image-4535" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Infographic by </span><a href="https://blog.adioma.com/how-many-times-should-you-try/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Adioma</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></em></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong>Everyone has failed.</strong></h5> <p>The sheer number of quotes about failure proves this statement:</p> <ul> <li><em><strong>“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.”</strong> – </em>Coco Chanel</li> <li><em><strong>“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”</strong> – </em>Robert F. Kennedy</li> <li><em><strong>“The phoenix must burn to emerge.”</strong> – </em>Janet Fitch</li> <li><em><strong>“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want”</strong> – </em>Richard Yates</li> <li><em><strong>“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”</strong> – </em>Denis Waitley</li> <li><em><strong>“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”</strong> – </em>Winston Churchill</li> </ul> <p>And all of them – essentially – say the same thing.</p> <p>The biggest lesson we can learn is changing how we see “failure”.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The biggest success stories start off as “failures”</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Heard of Airbnb?</strong><br /> As of August 2022, Airbnb is <a href="https://ipropertymanagement.com/research/airbnb-statistics#:~:text=%20Airbnb%20Statistics%20%201%20Corporate%20revenue%20for,have%206%20million%20listings%20on%20Airbnb.%20More%20" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">valued at</a> over US$70 billion. But it wasn’t a success story overnight. It took years for this “success story” to become a reality.</p> <p>According to <a href="https://failurebeforesuccess.com/airbnb/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Failure before Success</a> and <a href="https://inc42.com/resources/airbnbs-journey-failing-startup-25-bn-company/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Inc42 </a>, it all started in 2007 when Joe Gebbia and Brian Chesky met in Rhode School of Design and rented an apartment together. Due to the high rent, the roommates tried to find some means to pay for it. After a little bit of brainstorming, they came up with an idea.</p> <p>They started with a very pedestrian website (airbedandbreakfast.com), bought three air mattresses and gave their apartment up for rent. Their first clients were two men and a woman, each paying out US$80 rent. With US$240 in hand on their very first day, Gebbia and Chesky both realized that there was something big about their idea.</p> <p>And it was about this time that they approached their former roommate Nathan Blecharczyk to develop a more professional website for their budding enterprise (Blecharczyk eventually became the third co-founder of Airbnb).</p> <p>But they hadn’t found success yet.</p> <p>With their new, “more professional” website launched in 2008, they expected big things to start happening. But no one noticed, no one blinked an eye. So, instead of admitting defeat, they decided to launch it again at the annual event of SxSW.</p> <p>Alas, the 5-day festival ended up with only two customers #epicfail (right?).</p> <p>In fact, in 2008, more than 15 investors rejected them outright. There was no growth, no revenue, no visibility, the trio’s cash was running low and things seemed hopeless. Even their close friends advised them to look for other options. The trio spent the first three months of 2009 at the <a href="https://www.startupschool.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Y Combinator Startup School</a>, but they failed to convince investors about the possibility of turning their marvelous idea into – what they believed – would be a profitable business. It was an extremely difficult time for the company.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/how-airbnb-started-infographic.png"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4539 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/how-airbnb-started-infographic.png" alt="" width="1024" height="798" /></a>(Infograph sourced from <a href="https://blog.adioma.com/how-airbnb-started-infographic/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Adioma</a>)</p> <p>But while brainstorming one day, they suddenly had a light bulb moment – it was the photos on the portal that really sucked. So, they rented a camera and went door-to-door in NYC, building connections with the hosts and shooting quality photos of all the leased premises. As soon as they replaced the amateur photography with high resolution photos, the revenues doubled to US$400 per week.</p> <p>In addition, in March of 2009, they decided to ditch their not-so-catchy name – “Air Bed and Breakfast “– and changed it to Airbnb – flashy, new, and so easy to say!</p> <p>Their efforts finally had paid off.</p> <p>Within a month, they got a seed investment of US$600,000 from Sequoia Capital (April 2009). Following that, they grew exponentially – the US$7.2 million Series A investment in 2010 and the next round of US$112 million investment from Andreessen Horowitz made Airbnb a Silicon Valley unicorn.</p> <p>And this was from a company who struggled to raise US$150,000 in 2008.</p> <p>Airbnb was a massive hit.</p> <p>So much so, that as of 2022, Airbnb broke its own booking record in the <a href="https://ipropertymanagement.com/research/airbnb-statistics#:~:text=%20Airbnb%20Statistics%20%201%20Corporate%20revenue%20for,have%206%20million%20listings%20on%20Airbnb.%20More%20" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">second quarter of 2022</a> when guests collectively booked 103.7 million stays (including Experiences). The gross booking value for 2022 Q2 was US$17.0 billion. There are over 150 million worldwide users who have collectively booked over 1 billion stays. Airbnb includes listings from over 100,000 cities worldwide. And those are staggering numbers from a company that struggled and struggled when they first started.</div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Heard of Harry Potter?</strong></p> <p><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Harry Potter and indeed the writer of the Wizarding World – J.K Rowling – are household names.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">But Joanne Rowland (her actual name) was not an overnight success.</span></p> <p>According to <a href="https://www.biography.com/news/jk-rowling-harry-potter-author-rags-to-riches-billionaire" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Biography</a> – <em>“Poor and almost homeless, the ‘Harry Potter’ creator eventually became the world’s first billionaire author”</em>.</p> <p>From a failed, abusive marriage, Rowland found herself alone, in an apartment which she secured after begrudgingly accepting a loan from a friend, with her infant daughter, Jessica. She found herself <em>“as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless,” </em>she became increasingly hopeless, angry about her so-called failures and immense guilt about her inability to provide for her daughter. It was at her lowest point that she contemplated suicide. She was in a bad way.</p> <p>After realizing that she had to take care of her child, she pulled herself together and tried to get her head right. For the sake of her daughter. She underwent therapy, which helped, and decided to focus on a “boy wizard who flitted through her imagination” (since 1990).</p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4552 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter.jpg" alt="" width="1920" height="1440" /></a></p> <p>She completed her first Harry Potter manuscript in 1995 and thereafter submitted a three-chapter sample of Harry Potter to an agent Christopher Little in London. But Harry Potter was rejected over a dozen times by publishing houses. <em>Harry Potter rejected? It’s hard to believe</em>. Little <em>finally </em>found a taker in a London publishing house Bloomsbury, which offered a £1,500 advance to Rowland. She also snagged a £8,000 grant from the Scottish Arts Council, enabling her to finish the next Harry Potter book on a brand-new typewriter.</p> <p>On June 26, 1997, Rowland saw her determination and typing night-after-night come to fruition with the publication of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in the U.K. But she was now known as “J.K. Rowling,” due to concerns about how boys would respond to a female writer.</p> <p>Within days of the release of the first Harry Potter, children’s publishing powerhouse Scholastic had bid more than US$100,000 for the American publishing rights (They renamed the book Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone). The highly successful sequel, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets followed a year later, and by the fall of 1998, Warner Bros. was on board with a feature-film deal.</p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter-2.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4562 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter-2.jpg" alt="harry potter" width="1920" height="1440" /></a></p> <p>A true “rags to riches” story – Rowland became a billionaire by 2004 when Hollywood was still only halfway through eight Harry Potter films and well before the launch of another cash-cow franchise, Fantastic Beasts.</p> <p><em><strong>From almost homeless to being a billionaire. From epic failure to epic success.</strong></em></p> <p>But it is Rowland’s commencing address to Harvard where she talks about the <a href="https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2008/06/text-of-j-k-rowling-speech/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">‘The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination’</a> that really speaks to what we said earlier – <strong><em>rethinking how we see failure:</em></strong></p> <p><em>“Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So, I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.</em></p> <p><em>Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.</em></p> <p><em>So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.</em></p> <p><em>You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.</em></p> <p><em>Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.</em></p> <p><em>The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.”</em></p> <p>And I think that J.K Rowling sets out how to relook at failure far better than I ever could.</p> <p><em>(For more stories on people who have failed – epically – and then succeeded, read </em><a href="https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/15-highly-successful-people-who-failed-their-way-success.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>this</em></a><em>).</em></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>After failure – How do you pick yourself up again?</strong></h2> <p>Ok. So maybe you have failed. Maybe everything you have done and worked for thus far has not turned out the way you had planned it.</p> <p>Life is like that sometimes.</p> <p><strong><em>So, what do you do if you fail? How do you pick yourself up again?</em></strong></p> <p>As inspired by the article’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/guides/working-womans-handbook/how-to-overcome-failure" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Everyone Fails. Here’s How to Pick Yourself Back Up</a> and <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2020/10/20/seven-outstanding-ways-to-overcome-failure-and-succeed/?sh=2a6d38194200" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Seven Outstanding Ways To Overcome Failure And Succeed</a>, I have set out some pointers that can help you get back on track:</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">You are more than your mistake</strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – it’s easy to focus on your mistake. It’s easy to reprimand yourself – </span><em style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">“you could have done this better”</em><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">. It’s easy to dwell. But that would be the wrong approach. Instead, remind yourself of all the things that you have done right. No matter how small they are. Remind yourself that before this failure, you had other successes. Think about what those are so that you can try soothing the burn of a setback. The point here is not to diminish the mistake or glance over it but rather to remind yourself that this is a minor setback. You are worth more than this!</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Take a break but don’t give up</strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – when facing failure, it’s important to take time out to look inward. Identify what the possible disconnect was. Identify the root of your mistake. Look at ways that you can do it differently next time. Draw up an action plan if you need to. Because it’s only after you have addressed the mistake that you can move forward. It’s only then that you have a chance to succeed. Don’t give up.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Try again</strong> – some say that success comes from living outside of your comfort zone. In order to do that, you need your drive to succeed to outweigh your fear of failure. So, do just that – dream big and let those dreams carry you as you move towards your goals.</p> <p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4555 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/dream-big.jpg" alt="dream big" width="1920" height="1440" /></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Own your mistakes</strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – it’s all too easy to point the finger of blame elsewhere. </span><em style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">“I didn’t succeed because x happened”</em><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">. But if you do that, how do you learn? And by blaming something or someone else, you may even end up repeating the same mistake in the future. And who wants that? Instead, own up to your mistake and your part in it. Take the lesson gained from that admission and apply it to your life so that the past is not repeated.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Practice self-compassion</strong> – I know when I fail or make a mistake, I’m extremely hard on myself. I’m my worst critic. I’m sure that a lot of you reading this are the same way. But what if it was your friend that was going through this? What would you tell them? I’m sure you would be kind, supportive and compassionate. After all, it’s one set back. Not the end of the world. So, practice the same compassion towards yourself. Being hard on yourself can cause immense stress and anxiety (I’m speaking from experience here). So, instead of being harsh and critical, be kind. Be gentle. And treat yourself how you would treat others – compassionately. Dealing with a setback is hard enough without the self-criticism!</div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Practice risk taking</strong> – Eleanor Roosevelt once said:<em> “Do something that scares you every day.” </em>And that’s all well and good. But perhaps a little “higher grade” for those of us who haven’t quite yet mastered the “art of failing”. So, instead of doing something that completely freaks you out, why not start small? Here are a few suggestions on less adrenalin inducing activities, which will still help you as you learn that failing is not the end of the world:</p> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Practice being alone – </strong>enjoy a meal for one at a new restaurant. Better still, be brave and order a glass of wine whilst you do!</li> </ul> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/1202841364506607.Bx4LqNVPXopUQQbyvUew_height640.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="360" height="480" class="wp-image-4543 aligncenter" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/1202841364506607.Bx4LqNVPXopUQQbyvUew_height640.jpg" alt="" /></a></p> <p><em>Dinner for One: Green Lip Mussels and a glass of Chardonnay at the <a href="https://peppertreerestaurant.co.nz/">Pepper Tree Restaurant & Bar</a>, Coromandel, New Zealand</em></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Try a new activity</strong> – like ice-skating or horse riding. Something a little out of your comfort zone. But still fun. Please be sure to do any new activity with a professional – we wouldn’t want you to cause physical injury to yourself just to experience a new activity!</li> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Be bold</strong> – when booking your next trip ask for an upgrade in accommodation. Give it a whirl and see what your negotiation skills are like.</li> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Gain a new skill</strong> – have you changed a tyre by yourself? Do you know how to crochet? Or perhaps, pottery is on the cards for you. Pick one and give it a shot. You have nothing to lose.</li> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Seek like-minded people</strong><em> – </em>failure, especially when you are hard on yourself, can be hard to deal with on your own. Instead of bearing down and ‘going at it alone”, seek out people that are like-minded, that can rally around you. Seek support from others who may have been in your shoes or are currently going through all the feels too. Having a support system is key.</li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Seek outside help</strong><em> – </em>sometimes it’s extremely hard to see through all the fog, to see the forest for the trees. Sometimes you need some outside, unbiased perspective to help you get through the muddy water. Contact <strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a></strong> and set up a call with Frieda Levycky who can take you through some practical and actionable steps to get you out of your failure rut and ultimately on the road where you can achieve success.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>Whilst doing any of the activities suggested above, please remember that lasting change doesn’t come easily. It takes work. It takes practice. Sometimes change is a result of the small things that you have done along the way. Don’t beat yourself up. Try a few new things, try taking small risks and see where that gets you. After all, you often need to master the basics before you can move on to the next round. Think of these suggestions as the basics. As baby steps. And go from there…</p> <p> </p> <h2><strong>Final thoughts on failure</strong></h2> <p>As Paulo Coelho said –</p> <p><strong><em>“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” </em></strong></p> <p>Don’t give up on your dreams because of mistake, a failure, a setback – whatever you want to call it. Get back on that horse and try and try again!</p> <p>Every single person fails at some point in their life. The supporting evidence is overwhelming.</p> <p>Failure is just an “itty-bitty” little word. <em>It does not define you! </em>And what’s more – it is inevitable.</p> <p>Remember what J.K Rowling said –</p> <p><strong><em>“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”</em></strong></p> <p>So, then, by all means – fail.</p> <p>Because at least it means you will be living. But remember to dust yourself off and get back up again.</p> <p>Because giving up is not an option!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3>FURTHER READING</h3> <p>If you enjoyed this article, take a read of the previous article: “<a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/">What is Success?</a>“</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_center et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email:<span> </span><a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/">7 ways to bounce back after failure</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Dealing with Grief & Loss</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 07 Jun 2022 12:32:09 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Comfort over coffee]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[alone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bereavement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bravery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[death]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grieving]]></category> <category><![CDATA[heartache]]></category> <category><![CDATA[heartbreak]]></category> <category><![CDATA[isolation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[loss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[missing someone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[not alone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[regret]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4386</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>This blog post is a little different to our usual posts. At various points in our lives, we will be faced with the loss of a loved one: a close friend, family member, pet, parent or child. The last two years, particularly, have been full of grief and loss.  Alicia, my friend and co-writer, recently […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/">Dealing with Grief & Loss</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69223"><em>This blog post is a little different to our usual posts. At various points in our lives, we will be faced with the loss of a loved one: a close friend, family member, pet, parent or child. The last two years, particularly, have been full of grief and loss. </em></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69223"><em>Alicia, my friend and co-writer, recently lost her granny and wrote this beautiful piece as a way to help process her feelings and emotions. It’s raw. It’s heartfelt. It’s deeply personal. But, perhaps it will provide many of you who are struggling with grief and loss at present a chance to feel understood.</em></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69223"><em>Frieda</em>, <em>Founder of Braving Boundaries</em></p> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-default" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="has-black-color has-text-color wp-block-heading">Dealing with Grief & Loss</h3> <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>Death and grief are close first cousins. </p> <p>Meet the one and you are sure (to one day) meet the other – they are related after all.</p> <p>But it’s funny, even though you (half, kinda, but don’t wanna) expect their arrival, the wave of emotions they bring with them hits you like a brick across the forehead. Ouch! </p> <p>It’s almost as if they arrived, unannounced and unwelcome, had a huge party at your expense and vacated your home staggering after all their festivities. While you were left to clean up their mess. </p> <p>Death and grief are “people” we have all come across at some point in our lives. None of us are exempt and one day Death and Grief will wreak their infamous havoc on those you yourself leave behind. </p> <p>And it’s in that thought that I began to wonder. As I watched my grandmother folded into the earth, I looked upon the faces of those who were family. Generations. I looked at my uncle with his daughters and grandchildren and saw the relief that they brought him. He had others. </p> <p>Watching my own mother, she seemingly seemed smaller and more alone than my uncle. Or at least more alone and smaller than before. I sadly realised that it was her and I. That’s all. And that fact aches. Deep inside of me. </p> <p>You see my grandmother came from a long line of women – only children (in most cases)- given the second name Rosa. My grandmother was Elizabeth Rosa. My mother (and then I) broke the tradition of a long line of Rosas (or roses depending on how you see it). Granny didn’t mind – being a breaker of tradition and societal expectation herself. Everyone forges their own paths (at least that’s what she said). </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="768" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4393"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>But it is this moment – while I am still spending time with Grief – that I have found the hardest to overcome. </p> <p>Grief, as it happens, likes to bring along bedfellows. Friends and deviants. No wonder your home is left in such a mess once they are done. Friends like Regret, Remorse, Longing and Worry. </p> <p>My lucky day – they have all arrived. </p> <p>As I sit – huddled in the corner – shielding my eyes from the obscenity they are prone to creating – I feel tears roll down my face. </p> <p>I have tried to hold them back – she led a life well lived after all (and all that) – but these tears have a mind of their own. </p> <p>Two women with no Rosa’s in their names. Two women who have their own demons to face. And my mom who has no one writing her “thinking of you Granny” cards. My cats don’t have the best penmanship. </p> <p>The circle of life, undoubtedly, brings you to these points. Not by chance. They bring you to these points to deal. And so many old wounds have been reopened. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-4.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="768" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4394"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Grief and all his mates are funny that way. Parting gifts, I suppose. Death, like Elvis, has long since left the building, having partied himself out days ago. </p> <p>But he “hung around” (like seriously hung around) taking stock and taking notes. I made the same ones. I think. </p> <p>And in my little corner where Grief has fixated his eyes on me – I remember. I regret. I wonder. I hurt. I want. I grieve. </p> <p>But I am reminded that Grief and his friends have other homes to visit – places where they will wreak even more havoc than they have here. I was only a first stop. On borrowed time it would seem. Because, I realise this is only second hand grief. Like a pity visit. Funny, coming from Grief himself.</p> <p>Belonging to my mother and my uncle more so than I. Happening to visit me instead. Or at least at first. </p> <p>Like a cat, I remain in my corner licking my wounds reminding myself – that it will all be ok. In the end. </p> <p>But wounds take some time to heal. Especially the infected ones. And I have so many that are. </p> <p>Did I mention Loss? </p> <p>She is Death and Grief’s second cousin twice removed. Again – family matters. </p> <p>Loss attaches herself to many things and to many situations. Loss of a loved one – that’s obvious. But loss of so many other things too. </p> <p>Grief and his pals are taking their leave – hurrying on to the next home (how do their livers cope) but Loss has made herself quite at home. It seems. Unexpectedly. </p> <p>I didn’t even have time to change the sheets. </p> <p>And it’s at this juncture that I wonder, quite seriously, what we shall have for tea? </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-wide" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/">Dealing with Grief & Loss</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2022 12:55:35 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[edith eger]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[it's not fair]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pandemic]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[viktor frankl]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3883</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Aside from the normal New Year stress, in 2022, there is an ever present anxiety around what now, what next or where to from here?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>As we “come down” from our “festive high” – filled with presents, hope for 2022, rich food and laughter of family – we find ourselves gradually settling back into the daily norm and the reality of <em>“taking the year seriously”</em> once again comes to the fore. </p> <p>And, if you’re anything like me, as with the start of every year, you’ll find that you have already put pressure on yourself to overhaul your life – to become a better, more shinier version of yourself and excel before you have even found yourself (properly) at the starting block. </p> <p>But this year, things are a little different. </p> <p><strong><em>“Janu-worry” at the start of 2022 has never been more “worryful”.</em></strong></p> <p>Not only is the world still reeling from the Omicron variant, but we are also dealing with so many other issues, like a reduced household income (due to job loss or resignation), our normal “New Year worries” and an ever present anxiety around – <em>what now, what next or where to from here? </em></p> <p>Everything kind of feels “up in the air”. </p> <p>It’s enough to make your head spin. And we are all kind of feeling a little dizzy right about now – <em>can we please get off this “joy ride”?</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/2-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3885"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-cause-of-the-stress-spiral-for-2022"><strong><em>The cause of the stress spiral for 2022</em></strong></h2> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="1-financial-stress"><strong><em>1. Financial Stress</em></strong></h3> <p>As we all know – Janu-worry is 54 days long! There it is again – that familiar realisation that all the money that we spent on gifts, travel or expensive festive meals should have covered us for the rest of the month. With no happy distractions to take our minds off the matter, coming down off of a relaxing holiday and having to delve into our finances knowing that we are <em>coming up short,</em> is an excruciating exercise. Stress levels increase and the stress spiral begins. </p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="2-the-it-s-not-fair-stress"><strong><em>2. The “it’s not fair” stress</em></strong></h3> <p>Some of us did not take leave. Some of us could not spend time with our families (who are living abroad) with travel restrictions being what they are. Perhaps we had planned a big family reunion only to have the “stuffing pulled out of the turkey” – so to speak. Travel plans were cancelled, teary calls to family members (once again) with news that we wouldn’t be coming home this year. Tearful Video Chats on Christmas day or on New Year’s –<em> “maybe next year”. </em></p> <p>Quite frankly, it sucked! </p> <p>And for those of us that still worked throughout December and found ourselves, yet again, alone during our Christmas lunches, we too are feeling the rather resentful twitch that is – <em>Christmas (and our holiday cheer) was stolen from us</em>. The Grinch being rather successful this year.</p> <p>All in all we are feeling it – that worry, anxiety and stress sprinkled with a dash of regret, resentment and anger. </p> <p>It kind of feels like the three bears – one bowl of porridge was too hot (the over spenders), one bowl of porridge was too cold (we didn’t get a Christmas at all) and on reflection, there does not seem to be many with a bowl <em>that was just right.</em> </p> <p>Know what we mean?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/3-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3886"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="3-the-covid-stress">3<em><strong>. The covid stress</strong></em></h3> <p>Some of us were again infected with Covid (Omicron being extremely transmissible. Not necessarily worse, just catchier). And after a couple of run-ins with Covid during 2021, some of us are dealing with abject fear, uncertainty of what to do to prevent transmission and an overall state of subjective PTSD. </p> <p>Wanting to lock ourselves away from the world. Yet again. Putting ourselves under a self-inflicted lockdown. Sanitising <em>everythaaaang</em> (even considering whether we should sanitise our sanitizer bottles) and becoming complete loons at the thought of <em>another</em> outbreak.</p> <p>It feels like we have been fighting a war.</p> <p>We know, it sounds extreme, but ever since the beginning of this horrible ordeal, we have all been “under threat”. Never knowing what is going to happen next. Where the next “attack” will come from. </p> <p>It has felt <em>almost war-like</em> with measures taken by countries to mitigate the spread of the virus feeling like we are fighting an invisible enemy. The same one around the world. <em>Which we are.</em> </p> <p>But in this pursuit, it has affected livelihoods, confidence in our governments and our own sanity. And it’s made worse by the feeling that there is no real baseline for understanding what we are all going through right now and <em>how to best cope.</em></p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="stress-anxiety-and-fear-are-real-this-year"><strong><em>Stress, anxiety and fear are real this year</em></strong></h2> <p>As a result, we have (once again) picked up less healthy habits as a coping mechanism for our spiraling emotions. We have searched for “quick fix” comforts like eating poorly (mostly potato chips), binge-watching Netflix or Amazon Prime (Have you watched <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190634/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Boys</a> yet??) and isolating ourselves from friends and family. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/4-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3887"/></figure> <p>The very definition of an <em>act of self-preservation</em> which creates a feeling of distance and an over-whelming isolation from others. And this, in turn (ironically) results in feeling even more anxious.</p> <p>And you have to ask yourself, <em>is this really living?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="strategies-to-combat-the-stress-spiral"><strong><em>Strategies to combat the stress spiral</em></strong></h2> <p>When going through turmoil, it’s hard to know which way to turn. We understand that. </p> <p>But if there is anyone that can give us advice on how best to cope during this pandemic, it’s those that have themselves already experienced horrors and loss beyond most of our own comprehension. It’s people that survived the Holocaust that came out the other side with lessons learnt, experiences gained and psychology degrees that are perfectly poised to guide us. They survived because they found meaning and purpose despite the atrocities they faced. </p> <p>And we would venture to say that if they can survive the Holocaust, <em>we can get through anything….</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-man-s-search-for-meaning"><strong><em>Reducing stress – Man’s Search for Meaning</em></strong></h2> <p>Victor Emil Frankl (1905 – 1997) was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. He devoted his life to studying, understanding and promoting “meaning”, techniques he himself used during his horrific time in the concentration camps. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/5-1024x768.jpg" alt="Viktor Frankl | Man's Search For Meaning" class="wp-image-3888"/></figure> <p>In his book, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Man’s Search for Meaning</a>, Frankl described how he survived the Holocaust <strong><em>by finding personal meaning in the experience, giving him the will to live through it.</em></strong> He bases this on the following <a href="https://www.realtimeperformance.com/5-lessons-from-viktor-frankls-book-mans-search-for-meaning/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">five premises</a>:</p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong>We always retain the ability to choose our attitude</strong> – </strong><em><em>“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts, comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.“ </em></em>No matter what life throws at us, we will always retain our own inner-freedom to decide our own attitude, to remain true to our character and to our duties.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>There will be suffering but it’s how we react to the suffering that counts – </strong></strong></strong>one finds meaning in life in three ways. Through <em>work</em> (especially when that work is both creative in nature and aligned with a purpose greater than ourselves), through <em>love</em> (which often manifests itself in the service of others) and through <em>suffering</em> (which is fundamental to the human experience). The test then for all of us is how we respond to the <em>suffering in our lives</em>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong>The power of purpose</strong> – Frankl observed that those prisoners who survived, who found a way to endure, always had a greater purpose that carried them onward through difficult conditions. <em>“The prisoner who had lost faith in the future – his future – was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future he also lost his spiritual hold; he let himself decline and become subject to mental and physical decay”. </em>Frankl refers several times to the words of <a style="href="https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche/"" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Friedrich Nietzsche</a>:<em> “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. </em>It is finding our meaning, our greater purpose in life -despite the atrocities we face – that keep us alive and keep us going.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>The true test of our character is revealed in<em> how we act </em>– </strong></strong></strong><span style="font-size: revert;">Frankl came to the conclusion that there is <em>no general answer to the meaning of life</em>. Each person must answer the question for themselves. We find our own unique meaning based on our circumstances, our relationships and our experiences. Life is essentially testing us, and the answer is revealed in how we respond.</span></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong>Human Kindness can be found in the most surprising places</strong> – In his book, Frankl recalls a time when a guard, at great risk to himself, secretly gave him a piece of bread. <em>“It was far more than the small piece of bread which moved me to tears at the time. It was the human “something” that this man gave to me – the word and look which accompanied the gift. The mere knowledge that a man was either a camp guard or a prisoner tells us almost nothing. Human kindness can be found in all groups, even those which as a whole it would be easy to condemn”. </em>Frankl claims there are really only two types of people in the world – decent human beings and indecent human beings. Both can be found everywhere. They penetrate every group and every society.</p> </div> </div> <p>Frankl’s book and what he experienced emphasise the importance of finding and cultivating meaning in our daily lives, something that is core to (what Socrates called) <em>“a life well-lived.”</em> Frankl’s insights teach us that, <em>not only is there value in our search for meaning, but it’s the duty of each and every one of us to find that meaning for ourselves and pursue it.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-aiming-to-see-the-positive-in-everything"><strong><em>Reducing stress – Aiming to see the positive in everything</em></strong></h2> <p><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicagold/2020/09/15/5-tips-a-psychologist-and-holocaust-survivor-can-teach-us-about-surviving/?sh=1b8f63197260" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr. Edith Eger</a>, a Hungarian teenager in 1944 found herself in Auschwitz. Though her parents died in the gas chamber, her outlook kept both her sister and herself alive. After her liberation from the death camp, she went on to get her degree in psychology, mentored by Viktor Frankl. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/6-1024x768.jpg" alt="The Gift | 12 Lessons to Save Your Life" class="wp-image-3889"/></figure> <p>She lived through war, horror and abject fear. She saw the absolute worst side of man. As did Frankl. But she came out the other side not only with a degree but life lessons we can all take to heart, especially <em>as we learn to cope with our everyday stress and anxiety</em>:</p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>Live in the present, remembering lessons learned from the past –</strong></strong></strong> aim to live your life as much as you can in the present moment and not in the past. Don’t risk remaining “a prisoner” in your own home, a prisoner to your own life and to your own mindset. Avoid the <em>“should have”</em> and <em>“could have”</em> mentality and focus on the things you can do right now.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong>We can’t change what’s happening around us, but we can change our internal attitude – </strong></strong></strong></strong>create a world within yourself that no one can affect. Think of the dark times as being only temporary – <em>“this too shall pass”.</em> Shift expectations to realistic rather than idealistic i.e. <em>“2022 will be my year”</em> and instead find hope and positivity in the things that you can realistically accomplish.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Self-love is self-care – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>we are often nicer to our friends and family than we are to ourselves, seemingly believing that self-love and self-care is self-centered and selfish. But we believe (as does Eger) that self-love is critical to survival, especially during challenging times. Get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror with kindness and remind yourself that <em>you love you</em> too. Loving yourself is caring for yourself. So start your day with a positive affirmation and pursue your goals with a powerful purpose.<strong><strong><strong><strong> </strong></strong></strong></strong></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-10 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Everyone experiences grief differently – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>during this time, grief manifests in many ways. People are grieving the loss of school, planned events, sports, travel and general life experiences. Sure it may not be to the same extent as actual war or finding yourself in a death camp but with such a broad spectrum of loss, many experience guilt when they feel their grief is not equal to that of mourning the passing of a loved one or witnessing mass murder in gas chambers. Their grief does not deserve to be “grieved for” in the same way. But you cannot compare grief. You can’t compare situations either. Everyone grieves for their own personal losses in their own unique way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or what you are allowed to grieve for. And the truth of the matter is this – everyone’s loss will be worse at that point in time for them than anyone else’s grief. It’s all relative. So grieve what you need to grieve in a way that is right for you.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-11 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Look for the good amongst the negative – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>as hard as it is to understand, there actually <em>is</em> good in everything. We need to learn to look at our current situation in this light. No matter how bad it may seem. We need to decide how we are going to approach our experiences. How we are going to use our time – <em>complain and blame</em> or rather <em>recognise the good</em> in the situation and <em>regroup</em>? Decide on <em>“where to from here”</em> and make a plan to get there. <em>Hope is found within you</em> and not something you look for outside of yourself. It is the events that we endure that make us stronger, and in the end, <em>“it is not what happens, it is what we do with it.”</em></p> </div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-the-key-take-away"><strong><em>Reducing stress – The key take away</em></strong></h2> <p>We need to continually search for and find meaning and purpose in our everyday lives. And we do this by <em>looking within ourselves</em>. Remembering that it is our attitude and how we react to the experiences around us that will help us endure. </p> <p>Having optimism and looking for good in everything is key. We will all experience things differently (but our own experiences are still important) and we need to not only embrace our uniqueness but remember to practice self-love and self-care. Human kindness (and hope) can be found all around us. If only we look for it. </p> <p>Sure, it may seem like a tall order and <em>“easier said than done”</em> but both Frankl and Eger survived actual death camps with their outlooks. They overcame tragedy, loss, suffering and trauma beyond our imaginations because of their attitudes and how they approached their situation. 6 million Jews and about 5 million non-Jews were not as lucky. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/7-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3890"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="our-closing-thoughts"><strong><em>Our closing thoughts</em></strong></h2> <p>In these uncertain times, it is important to talk about how you are feeling. In fact, we strongly encourage it. “Going it alone”, being self-sufficient and independent is not necessarily a virtue. Not at the present moment with the world, our lives and our “Janu-worry” stress spiral in upheaval.</p> <p>Find a safe person or group of people that you can share your innermost feelings and concerns with—this could be a friend, a family member, a therapist (especially if you are not 100% certain where your anxiety stems from), a coach (like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/">Braving Boundaries</a>), or a safe online support group. Whoever or whatever it is, it’s crucial that you feel emotionally supported and encouraged. Not judged. </p> <p>We also believe that it is vital for you to leave self-judgment at the door. Don’t beat yourself up for going through a “Janu-worry” stress spiral. It does not make you weak. And you are not a bad or selfish person for <em>feeling your feels</em>. It’s not only understandable but expected. Rather focus your energies on escaping the spiral and digging yourself out of the slump. Being able to challenge your negative thoughts while at the same time being compassionate to yourself about what is happening is a good place to start. </p> <p>While it isn’t easy and often takes practice, you can put a stop to the “Janu-worry” stress spiral and start to look forward to the rest of the year, keeping Frankl and Eger’s words close to heart. <em>They knew what they were talking about.</em></p> <p>You got this! Trust us. </p> <p></p> <p>For further articles on stress management and the impact that stress has on your mental and physical health, check out the blog article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/"><em><strong>“Stressed out? Why holidays are a NECESSITY not a luxury”</strong></em></a>.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator aligncenter is-style-default"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-12 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>