<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>work life balance Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/work-life-balance-2/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/work-life-balance-2/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Mon, 06 May 2024 03:44:02 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>work life balance Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/work-life-balance-2/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>10 Tips to Restore Balance When Life Feels Out of Control</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 22 Jun 2023 18:31:14 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a balanced life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enhance your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling out of control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gaining control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[regaining control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[restore balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[say no]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5569</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/">10 Tips to Restore Balance When Life Feels Out of Control</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br />Life can be overwhelming.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With our day-to-day jobs, our hobbies, our families, and our digital lives, our to-do lists grow ever bigger. Suddenly it feels like we are swimming and swimming but failing to reach the shore. And life – inevitably – begins to feel a little out of control.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It happens. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But when it does, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are many of us swimming – all at once – with our respective shores firmly in our focus. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some of us require inflatable “</span><a href="https://www.speedo.co.za/kids/accessories/swimming-aids" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">armbands</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">” to help with the swimming, knowing that these are just aids to help us get to where we are going. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These armbands can be in the form of seeking professional support in the form of coaching – Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is perfectly poised to lend a hand when you feel the reins on your life begin to slip. Or perhaps these armbands come in the form of support from a medical professional like a</span><a href="https://www.sacap.edu.za/blog/applied-psychology/what-does-a-psychologist-do/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">psychologist</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or </span><a href="https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-psychiatry#:~:text=A%20psychiatrist%20is%20a%20medical,psychiatric%20help%20for%20many%20reasons." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">psychiatrist</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whichever armband works for you, works for you. There is no right or wrong way (not really) to gain control over your life. Sure, the thought of seeking professional support can be overwhelming, too “serious”. So, instead of giving you a long list of people you should see or how you can rein in the reins, we thought it may be better to simply set out some tips to get you on your way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Simple. And to the point (because when you’re busy, short and sweet is the ticket). </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-3.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (3)" class="wp-image-5580" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>10 tips to regain control</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we look at restoring balance in our lives it encompasses our normal daily routines (which will include our online habits) as well as how we approach both our professional commitments and our personal ones too – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Don’t start your day by looking at your phone</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– for a lot of us the first thing we do when we open our eyes is look at our mobile phones/tablets. And suddenly, the number of things we need to do, the meetings that may be coming up in the next day or so, World News (which can often be negative), social media posts about people who look like they are living their best lives (while not actually working), all come flooding in. And suddenly you feel overwhelmed.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Where do you even begin?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And this is before you even leave your bedroom. Its enough to send anyone diving back under the covers. Give yourself a break – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">who needs to take on all that first thing in the morning?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Instead, start off your day with a good old stretch, take a quick walk around your area, meditate, enjoy a good healthy breakfast (whatever that means for you). Add a positive daily affirmation to your routine (</span><a href="https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Oprah’s 40 Positive Affirmations</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> are a great source of inspiration). Start your day on the correct mindful footing. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Set your goals</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– as you begin your day, start by writing things down. Often the simple practice of putting pen to paper engages your brain and you can then start to put the puzzle pieces together. Once you have made a couple of notes, start aligning them to the projects you are working on. And then out of all of that, extract the top two or three most pressing things. Make them a priority. Then with your notes and list in hand, set out your achievable (practical) game plan.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Remember “charity starts at home”</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– working on the man, woman or person in the mirror first should always be your top priority. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get your house in order first.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> In other words, while you set your goals for the day, consider how you are going to achieve them </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">in a way that makes sense</span></i> <b><i>FOR YOU</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Add yourself into the mixture of “most pressing things”. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What do you need to do for yourself</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">? Is that going to yoga or gym every morning? Is it escaping into nature for a walk twice a week? Is it finding time for a coffee with a friend once a week? Mentally picture your day </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the way you want it to be</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and then </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">make time for the things that are most important</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. That includes </span><b>YOU</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-4.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (4)" class="wp-image-5581" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Once you’ve set goals, simplify them </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– yes, this does sound counterintuitive but it’s important that when you set your goals for the day you look at </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how you can simplify them</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. How can you make your tasks easier? Perhaps you need to ask for help on a project. Perhaps you need to bring in some extra hands. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. After all, this is about ensuring you get what you need to do and get it done in a way that is simple. That is easy. And that brings a little control back into your life. You can’t do it all alone.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Be ok with that.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Set boundaries</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– this is an important one (especially for the ones that possibly say yes more than they say no). You need to set boundaries between work time and personal time. Especially if you are working from home. Make a conscious decision on what time you will start and end your workday. What time you will take your lunch break. Make a conscious decision whether you will take calls, answer WhatsApp’s or emails after work hours. </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">And then stick to that</span></i></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Fervently guard your personal and private time. There are very few things that truly warrant a necessary and urgent intrusion on your personal time. By clearly setting your boundaries, you can regain control of your own life. You can restore balance – and in that balance – you can feel peace. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Work is an important part of your life – especially when you love what you do – but </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">family and self-care are just as important. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Always</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> keep that in mind. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Learn to say yes to you and no to others</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– there is a certain power in saying “no” to others. One you will come to appreciate the more you do so. Saying no helps you to maintain the equilibrium you need. Stop doing things out of guilt or obligation. Instead, make more room in your life for the activities that are meaningful to you and that bring you joy. But saying “no” is only part of this equation. You need to learn to say “yes” more to the things that you need. It’s important to have fun, to relax, to spend meaningful time with your friends and family. In fact, it’s essential to a balanced life. Therefore – like with setting boundaries – make sure that you set aside time each day for an activity that you enjoy and set aside one night each week for something you know will rejuvenate you.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-1.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (1)" class="wp-image-5578" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Let things go</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – as you mindfully plan your day and envision how you want it to turn out, you will often find that the things that you thought “have to get done” no longer </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">need to be done</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. At least not in the time frame you first believed. Is it necessary to work until midnight to put the final touches on a report or on a draft contract? Do you really need to wake up at 4am just to get everything done in the day? Start by recognising the things that don’t really have much impact on your work (and your life) and then allow yourself to let them go. It’s hard. But being strict about this will help with balance and gaining control.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8.jpg" alt="" title="8" class="wp-image-1883" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Rest</i> </strong><b>–</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> we often neglect our health, ignoring the niggles here and there and chalk them down to “overdoing it”. But the truth is, your body needs down time to restore, to replenish and to unwind. Even if that means for an hour during your day you read a chapter from your new book. Don’t ignore the niggles that can turn into big no-no’s. Rest when you need to. This includes planning for holidays. They are important – staycations included. So, plan ahead and schedule your holidays. If you are able to, a regular meditation practice is a great way to take a mind break and bring yourself back into balance. And if you can’t meditate, perhaps just a quiet moment to yourself with a cup of tea will do. The point is – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">give your mind a break.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9.jpg" alt="" title="9" class="wp-image-1884" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Concentrate on personal wellness – </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">put positive habits like fitness and reading above the hectic work schedule. Placing importance on wellness can bring about a sense of normalcy, making it easier to concentrate on work when things feel a little out of control. Personal wellness includes communicating your stress or mental health struggles with those that can help. If you feel overwhelmed by your workload, raise it as an issue. Communication is key. And getting help even more so. You are replaceable at work but not at home. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/10.jpg" alt="" title="10" class="wp-image-1885" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Be fluid and flexible</i></strong><b><i> –</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> sometimes all our best laid plans are for naught. Life is unpredictable. Things happen. And even our most mindful to-do lists that tick all the right boxes to regain balance and control, fall apart. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Learn that that’s ok.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Be flexible and fluid enough to know that opportunities come and go. And move forward from that point. Regroup. Replan. And redo. Life can change significantly from one day to another. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Learn to have vision and know that sometimes starting over is ok. </span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-2.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (2)" class="wp-image-5579" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing that needs to be driven home – while there are things you can do to bring balance and restore a sense of control in your life, it doesn’t mean you have to do everything we have set out above. That can also cause overwhelm and turn a mission of restoring balance into one that does not achieve the equilibrium we so often desire. Not ideal.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take deep breaths. The purpose of this article is to help you, not hinder you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Author Nick Harkaway said – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Peace is not a state – it is a choice, and you have to remake it every day. It’s possible to get a sort of stability, a habit of peace, but it’s like an egg balanced, spinning, on its point: lose your momentum, and your equilibrium is gone, too”.</span></em></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Achieving balance in your life is a process. Often a journey filled with a hundred small steps. So, take one small step each day towards attaining balance, towards achieving control over your life – especially when life feels so out of control. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But remember this – we simply can’t control </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">every</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> aspect of our lives (despite wanting to). As we know – life happens. Shit happens. And we often need to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">roll with the punches</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. That may not seem very comforting, but it actually is. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because – while we can’t control every aspect of our lives, it doesn’t mean we can’t </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">work towards </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">achieving </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a better balance, a better sense of equilibrium</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a better sense of the calmness we crave</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We’re not saying you should aim to achieve a 50/50 work-life balance– because that’s not entirely realistic. What we are saying is this – </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Don’t always favour one aspect of your life and neglect another e.g. work over family or health/fitness over time with friends. Every aspect of your life needs attention.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Don’t always put others’ needs before your own needs. You matter. </span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, nurture each aspect of your life with care, knowing when to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">say yes to the things you need</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">no to the things that you simply cannot do.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/BASIC-BALANCE.jpg" alt="" title="BASIC BALANCE" class="wp-image-1945" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/">10 Tips to Restore Balance When Life Feels Out of Control</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Creativity: The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/creativity-the-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/creativity-the-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 17 Mar 2023 11:27:37 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[amplified life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[art]]></category> <category><![CDATA[creative]]></category> <category><![CDATA[creative outlet]]></category> <category><![CDATA[creativity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enhance your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[furniture renovation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[hobbies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[imagination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[painting]]></category> <category><![CDATA[past times]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perspective]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pottery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[productivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relieve anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[singing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress relief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5264</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>If you're seeking to live a happier, healthier and more productive life, then it's time to explore your creativity.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/creativity-the-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life/">Creativity: The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before I even start writing this article, it’s imperative for me to turn on some music.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes it’s Beethoven’s </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Moonlight Sonata</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (I know kind of sombre) – it’s one of my favourite pieces of music – and on other occasions I need to crank up AC/DC’S </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thunderstruck</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (because – hell, who doesn’t feel all fired up when this song is cracked up on LOUD?) or listen to the latest Miley Cyrus’s </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7KNmW9a75Y" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Flowers</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (Shhhh don’t tell anyone. This is, strictly speaking, a Rock ‘n Roll family), just to remind myself to exercise </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">self-love, self-respect, and self-care</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Thanks Miley!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Somehow music seems to focus my energy – I know, weird right? It’s as if through the music I can hear and feel the words I put down on paper. Even before I put them on to paper. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s something about the creative process for me. It’s an all-encompassing thing – like living and breathing the words through music, through sound and with it – through emotion. It’s like the air I breathe. It’s my motivation. Even when I don’t “feel like it” (yes, that happens. On occasion). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But then I put on some tunes, and suddenly the words are pouring out of me. Sometimes nonsensical and verbose requiring some hard-handed fine tuning. But it works. For me. It’s my (creative) process.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-3.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (3)" class="wp-image-5270" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>A life without creativity</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I wasn’t always this way. Working as a lawyer, I didn’t think it allowed for creative pursuits. I always felt like I didn’t have the time. And when I did have the time, I was too tired or too fatigued or too (insert emotion here) to be bothered enough to seek a creative pursuit. And the unfortunate thing about this? Perhaps the obvious thing about this…. I always felt like half a person. Not living to my full potential. A massive piece of my </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/product/puzzle-box/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">puzzle</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> being completely devoid of anything outside of my small world of law that I had created – a big, empty, colourless hole. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I guess – for me at least – being creative, being a writer (even when my writing is not perfect or doesn’t hit the right “notes” or perhaps finds the wrong readership) is like peering – even a tiny bit – into my soul. I relate – entirely – to </span><a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/George-Bernard-Shaw" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">George Bernard Shaw</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> when he said – </span></p> <p style="padding-left: 40px;"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You use a glass mirror to see your face. You use works of art to see your soul”. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Being able to “see your soul” through works of the creative process – how magic is </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">that?!</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Something anyone can do. In my opinion. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We’re all born with</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> a means to be creativ</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">e, to express ourselves, to standout. And that could be in so many different ways – painting (even badly), writing poetry (even if it sounds childish), drawing (even if it’s a stickman) or applying make-up (even if you look like a clown). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We’re all able to be creative. And in that realisation – whole new worlds open up to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">all of us</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-2.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (2)" class="wp-image-5268" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Creative pursuits assist poor mental health</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Studies show that being creative and having creative pursuits assist with poor mental health.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the article </span><a href="https://diversushealth.org/the-mental-health-benefits-of-creativity/#:~:text=How%20Does%20Creativity%20Improve%20Mental,function%20of%20our%20immune%20systems" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Mental Health Benefits of Creativity</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, the following is set out – </span></p> <blockquote><p><em>“Science continues to reveal encouraging evidence about the mental health benefits of creativity. From painting to potting plants, planning parties and beyond, creative activities help us perceive the world in new and different ways. Creativity allows us to create beautiful work, problem-solve, and refresh our bodies and minds. Having fun positively impacts our mental health.</em></p> <p><em>Being creative can increase positive emotions, reduce depressive symptoms and anxiety, and improve the function of our immune systems. The Journal of Positive Psychology supports these findings, stating that “spending time on creative goals during the day is associated with higher activated positive affect.” Positive affect refers to positive moods people experience including joy, happiness, and optimism”.</em></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m sold on this idea that creativity is vital to good mental health. Because when I’m writing, when I’m listening to music, I can feel the words flow through me and I feel completely at peace. I feel centred. I feel happy. And it’s within this state of “flow” when I’m almost in my own world (“in the zone”) that I become mindful of what I’m thinking and feeling and how the writing is adding to my overall happiness for that day. And that feels like a massive accomplishment. It’s a beautiful thing. Almost euphoric. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But there are times when I’m not so happy. There are times when I have undeniable writer’s block. And putting even one word on a page seems almost impossible. In this space I feel stuck. Uncentred, like I – yet again – have a void inside my soul. A feeling I remember from working as a lawyer and having no creative outlet. Whatsoever. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Being creative and having a place to express helps me be productive. It helps me be the best version of myself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, when I’m blocked and cannot write, I must turn to other methods of creative expression in order to push through the bad mojo I find myself in. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-4.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (4)" class="wp-image-5272" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The importance of finding a creative outlet</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Firstly, let’s be honest for a second. It’s not like I’m the next Hemingway. So, this “writer’s” block that I experience is nothing compared to the great writers of our time. I’m not some pseudo artistic savant that has all the answers to all things “creative”. Believe me.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I do know one thing – tapping into this creative part of my mind (and soul) has opened up so many other parts that I didn’t know existed. Like my penchant for </span><a href="https://www.poetrysoup.com/member_area/my_poems.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">amateur poetry </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">and painting. Who knew I could do those things? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It took a lot of doing </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“a little bit of this and a little bit of that”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> but I found my happy place. The point is you have to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">start somewhere</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Because if you don’t take your first step, you will always be stuck in exactly the same place. And who wants that?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In an article by </span><a href="https://diversushealth.org/the-mental-health-benefits-of-creativity/#:~:text=How%20Does%20Creativity%20Improve%20Mental,function%20of%20our%20immune%20systems" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Diversus Health</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, they mention –</span></p> <blockquote><p><em>“Practicing creativity is a wellness exercise, similar to having a healthy diet and steady workout routine. Even if we do not think of ourselves as artists or creative innovators, we all have a varying amount of energy, intelligence, and discipline to expand on our ability to express ourselves and be creative.</em></p> <p><em>“The more we practice using our imagination, the better we will be able to express ourselves without the need of verbal language,”</em> says Nguyen. “<em>This also helps us to turn inward amid this noisy world.”</em></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To add a little more credence to the statement (and article) above, in a research paper by the University of Tennessee titled </span><a href="https://trace.tennessee.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1137&context=utk_nurspubs" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Creativity in Older Adults: A Plethora of Possibilities</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> by Kenneth D Phillips it’s set out that –</span></p> <blockquote><p><em>“Creativity interventions have been shown to positively affect mental and physiological health indicators. The process of creating and one’s attitude toward life may be more important than the actual product or tangible outcome.”</em></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That’s such an important point. </span><b><i>The process of creating is more important than the thing you create.</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Creating – for creating’s sake – is more beneficial than we know. Whether it’s to ease your anxiety, stress or depression or whether it’s to help open your mind so that you can learn to focus (increasing productivity). The evidence in support of this is overwhelming. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ok, enough trying to convince you. It’s evident that we need to get creative … and fast! So, let’s get started</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>My creative passions</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It will be a trial by error approach to see what works for you – to find that thing (or maybe number of things) that gets you to your place of zen.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But create – for the sake of our mental health – we must. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now before we get into the ways you can do this, let me add – nowadays finding that extra coin to spend on something “pleasurable” seems like a bit of a tall ask. But let me assure you that there are things you can do that won’t cost a solar panel (South African’s will understand this). And there’s so much to choose from – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Pick up a paint brush</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – it may sound so pedestrian, but when I paint something, and it turns out even remotely resembling something that could pass as an “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">amateur wannabe arteeest</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”, I’m immensely proud. I feel like I have done something extraordinary. And once I’ve done that, I kind of feel like I could do anything. I get covered in paint, mess all over the place and absolutely love it! I have the time of my life. I especially like working with acrylic paint – its thick and gooey and feels like it carries substance. I get a lot of my supplies from <a href="https://artsavingsclub.co.za/product-category/paint/acrylic-paints/">Artsavingsclub</a></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. But you can pick up a bunch of art supplies really cheaply, if you google. If you don’t know where to start, how about looking to YouTube for help. Personally, I love </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/surajfinearts" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">SurajFineArts – Abstract ART</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – he posts full tutorials on how to go about doing an abstract painting (my favourite kind). Before you know it, and with absolutely no experience, you come out with something that seems pretty impressive. Just take a look at what I did (some of my first using Suraj’s video tutorials) – </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1303" height="713" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-1-1.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (1)" class="wp-image-5267" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Try your hand at pottery </i></strong><i>– </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">there’s nothing like getting your hands well and truly “dirty”. Sticking your hands into the clay and feeling it with each fingertip, getting your senses going. And with a little imagination a ball of clay can become a mug or a platter. I kid you not. I know what you must be thinking – what about a kiln? Sure some clay needs to be fired and glazed but you can also make something just as cool with </span><a href="https://eve-artsupplies.co.za/products/air-drying-clay?variant=34014363156611" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">air drying clay</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Air drying clay is best for sculptures or plaques or something else crafty. I decided to make a platter out of air drying clay and then painted it with different layers of chalk paint to create something – not quite useful – but a lot of fun! If you need some help with where to even begin, take a look at </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtES7Gd5gHE" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Jonthepotter</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I love his video’s!</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="854" height="194" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-3-1.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (3)" class="wp-image-5271" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Restore old furniture </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– you’ll often find me on days off at antique furniture stores or browsing online auctions for old rickety pieces of furniture. To me there is nothing more beautiful than something with a story, something old and worn in with its own past. And I just drool at that. Good quality wood is key. I know it sounds odd, but my grandfather taught me a lot about different types of wood, what partridge wood is good for or camphor wood – what the grains mean. I loved that. So now I rescue furniture (my home is FULL of antiques either inherited or salvaged). I don’t paint every piece of furniture – some things are just too special to paint. But others are just begging for a lick of paint and an adornment or two. I use nails and often wood glue (to my husband’s dismay) to fix things that need fixing, replace door handles or polish them up (especially if they are brass) and then get to the painting part. I use </span><a href="https://www.anniesloan.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Annie Sloan Chalk Paint</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (which has just brought out two new colours – yay). It’s available worldwide! Sloan even has stencils and gilding waxes (which I use a lot). There is a colour for every room (and mood) and even different paints for different surfaces. It’s so much fun adding a slick of paint to your furniture – why buy new when you can fix up something old? I took an armoire from my late grandmother which was not in the best shape and looking terribly drab. She was begging for a makeover. So, I gave her a pretty dramatic one. I used Athenian Black, added embellishments, and then gilded the hell out of it. It’s not to everyone’s taste but she is grand and dramatic. Just like my gran. Watch </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zU3SX_eXpQQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Annie Sloan’s tutorials</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to get you started.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="376" height="554" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-2-1.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (2)" class="wp-image-5269" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Ways you can get creative</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Those are some of the things that I have chosen to do – they are my creative outlet. And they won’t all work for you. So, I have included some other suggestions below –</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Learn to cook</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I say learn because not everyone is born with this innate ability to produce a meal that gets mouths watering. Also, with the price of food nowadays, it’s something we have all got to learn to do. Sometimes that means using the basic ingredients you have in your pantry. </span><a href="https://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/recipe-collections-favorites/popular-ingredients/recipes-using-kitchen-staples" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Realsimple</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> has some great easy recipes that you can use with pantry staples (or supposed staples in any event). It’s kind of fun when you throw a couple of things into a pot and somehow miraculously produce an enjoyable meal. In my case, it took a few tries, but it can be done. And it’s fun learning. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Try knitting</i></strong><i> – </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">this is not only good for concentration (you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have t</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">o focus), but once you get the hang of it, you can knit scarves and sweaters galore! I can’t say that knitting has ever been quite my thing. But I do see the appeal and realise that it is a skill (yes, a skill) that’s both creative and useful too. It’s also super trendy right now. So, grab some knitting needles, get some cheaper yarn, and get knitting. Before you know it, you will be gifting scarves to everyone on their Birthday – saving money and being creative at the same time! Personally, I will be watching </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egp4NRhlMDg" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">this video</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to begin with. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><i><strong>Gardening</strong> – </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I truly believe that some people are born with a green thumb and other people are not. But having said that, I love spending time in a garden centre. All the plants and the colours, the scent! It gives me hope. Even if my garden doesn’t quite resemble anything hopeful. But I do believe that you can learn, and you can propagate plants that you already have (again saving money) – to start to design your own garden, even if it’s a small garden, and make it a happy one. You can start learning how by watching </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILDnpeCELeY"><span style="font-weight: 400;">this tutorial</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><i><strong>Make your own board game</strong> –</i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> it has been said that Frieda knows a thing or two about making her own board game. I kid you not. I read about it in this </span><a href="https://scoutlife.org/hobbies-projects/projects/172763/how-to-make-your-own-board-game/">article</a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">and thought – “sure I can do that” but to my dismay failed dismally. It just wasn’t fun enough (the level of “enough” is a personal choice). But if you’re short on funds and want to make something fun for you and your partner and/or family to do – then this is it. This is Frieda’s family during Christmas 2008 tackling the “Family Quiz” – 300 questions about her family and the shenanigans that they had individually and collectively got up to! I’ve no doubt a lot of fun was had by all!</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="604" height="452" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Creativity-The-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life-1-1.jpg" alt="" title="Creativity The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life 1 (1)" class="wp-image-5266" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If none of the above is quite your thing, there’s still </span><a href="https://www.plymouth.ac.uk/research/education/university-practice-partnerships/learning-across-the-curriculum/art-resources/pebble-painting" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">pebble painting</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (and this involves going out in search of the perfect pebble and only then painting something that reminds you of the walk). It’s a “whole thing”. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Lastly, if you’re a </span><a href="https://www.flyfishersinternational.org/Learn/Learning-Center-Resources/Fly-Tying/Beginner-Fly-Tying-Manual?gclid=Cj0KCQjw2cWgBhDYARIsALggUhr_h_GRxucvZ2nySDNPW3L3P_mJorIZHj32c_SJHu-NuSrOdkoGhgAaAiW0EALw_wcB" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">fly-fisherman</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (I’m what’s known as a “fishing widow”) and you are dead keen on the perfect fly, then learning to tie one could be your thing. There’s so much here I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But when you have famous friends (and mentors) like </span><a href="https://www.thefloatingfly.com/peter-brigg" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Peter Brigg</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><a href="http://www.tomsutcliffe.co.za/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Tom Sutcliffe</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">,</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> my husband has learnt a thing or two about fly fishing and fly tying. And if anything, it keeps him out of trouble and has taught him colours like chartreuse (</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”if it aint chartreuse it aint no use” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">apparently). In all honesty (and don’t tell him I said this but…), it brings him peace and makes him far more amenable to shoe shopping. It’s a really healthy, happy pursuit. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The point is – there are so many creative “things” out there to try! </span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">So, find your place of happiness, your thing of peace and then embrace it. Break away from your everyday routine, indulge in fun activities – create art, sing (even if it’s really badly), dance (“like no one’s watching”) and play (let your inner child free). </span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Not only will it make you feel good, but it’ll give you renewed hope, a renewed sense of self and will revitalise you. Because one thing’s for sure, whether you are painting, doing pottery, restoring furniture, writing poetry, making a board game, painting a pebble or even tying a fly – you’re not thinking about your worries or stressing about tomorrow. You’re focused on the here and now and are hopefully bringing yourself inner peace and happiness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mental health in good shape? Check!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I think this quote may be the best motivator for being creative there is – </span></p> <blockquote> <p>“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life”<b> –</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Elizabeth Gilbert</span></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you really have no clue where to begin or what to do, why not join Frieda’s </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Creative Breakfast for Women</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – and put this article into practice! </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/newsletter-sign-up/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sign up for the Braving Boundaries Newsletter</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to find out more or contact Frieda Levycky </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/creativity-the-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life/">Creativity: The superpower leading to a happier and healthier life</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/creativity-the-superpower-leading-to-a-happier-and-healthier-life/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>6 ways to create a harmonious work environment</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 29 Nov 2022 09:12:43 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram training]]></category> <category><![CDATA[flexible working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[hybrid working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life at work]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team work]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic teams]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life blend]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working parent]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4944</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment/">6 ways to create a harmonious work environment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we think of harmony, most of us imagine a type of Utopia where everyone we meet and interact with is peaceful, agreeable and lives in perfect bliss with the people and the environment around them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s all seemingly very “kumbaya”, at least, that’s what the </span><a href="https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/harmony" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cambridge dictionary</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> intimates.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For me though, harmony can often be found in diversity and balance. In recognising – within the diversity – how everything (and everyone) </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> fit together. Like a beautiful dance between partners. Not everyone is the same, but when moving together in unison a beautiful sway emerges. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps it’s the words of French mathematician, </span><a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Henri-Poincare" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Henri Poincaré </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">that is more accurate (I’m married to a man who believes maths is the answer to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">every question</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – actuaries, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what ya gonna do?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">) – </span></p> <blockquote><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It is the harmony of the diverse parts, their symmetry, their happy balance; in a word it is all that introduces order, all that gives unity, that permits us to see clearly and to comprehend at once both the ensemble and the details.”</span></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s these words that ignite a thought. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps harmony in its real, basic form, is far more straight forward. Perhaps harmony is all about embracing what is different or diverse amongst us and learning to appreciate those differences anyway – learning the different moves, so you can </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">fox-trot</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> your way to a peaceful, happy place.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After all, in real life, we are all different. We all want and look for different things in life. We all have differing ambitions and therefore will seek different stimuli to achieve a different result.</span></p> <p><b>Different. Diverse. Distinct. </b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that’s not just in life. It’s at work too. We may have a “work persona” but we are still who we are. Deep down. And our differing needs will obviously bubble to the surface. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, it’s within this framework that I wonder – how does one create a harmonious work environment? Because let’s be frank about one thing. We spend (according to Andrew Naber, an alumni of </span><a href="https://www.gettysburg.edu/news/stories?id=79db7b34-630c-4f49-ad32-4ab9ea48e72b" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Gettysburg College</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">) one third of our lives at work. That is, on average, 90 000 hours of work over a lifetime!</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Shouldn’t we be looking at how to make our work lives better? More harmonious? Happier?</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I would say so – yes!</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Creating a harmonious working environment</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment-1.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment (1)" class="wp-image-4949" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It should come as no surprise that to have a harmonious working environment and to work within a cohesive team, takes work. It doesn’t just happen. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Again, let me repeat – we are all different. And our differences will – on occasion – cause tension. Causing our “harmonious working environment” to be out of whack. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And while I would love to say that you can all just snap back into position and continue happily as if nothing happened, that’s not always the case. It’s just not always that easy. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But you can work on it. It takes a good action plan (as formal as that sounds) to ensure that everyone works together in a way that promotes a happy work-life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It can be done!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The question therefore – inevitably – is:</span><strong><span style="color: #c69229;"><i> what are the strategies that you can implement to encourage a harmonious work environment?</i></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After looking at several sources, most notably </span><a href="https://interaction-training.com/9-strategies-help-create-harmonious-team/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Interaction Training</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, the </span><a href="https://hr.un.org/page/create-harmonious-workplace"><span style="font-weight: 400;">UN HR Portal</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><a href="https://www.simplilearn.com/building-high-performing-teams-article"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Simplilearn, </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">the following points can and should be practiced in order to encourage harmony both within teams, at work and (consequently) within your own life as well: </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_32"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_50 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Have mutual respect</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – practice awareness of each person within your team’s unique attributes, what they bring to the table, how they are different, what they are experts at. Recognise the part each person has to play. By doing so, a strong bond will naturally be created – because when someone feels recognised, when they feel appreciated and when they are respected, the opportunities to create, to brainstorm, to encourage, to support will naturally flow freely. This is important in order to be productive and to overcome challenges as one single organism, building shared values and a sense of integrity as you go.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_31 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_51 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_33"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_52 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Practice inclusivity</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– in fact, make it your rule. This is where the differences in each of us shine through. Remember, it’s the value of our individual uniqueness that helps open a team up to new ways of doing things. And that’s important. You should also keep in mind that when encouraging new ways of doing things, how you act, your behavior and your beliefs will affect how you treat team members. Therefore, practice patience, kindness, open-mindedness, especially when someone’s beliefs are different to your own. Be proactive in asking for feedback to understand another person’s viewpoint. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_32 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_53 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_34"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_54 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Embrace diversity</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– “diversity” as a concept, often makes one think of cross-cultural differences first i.e. the differences in each of us because of our distinct cultural backgrounds and ethnicities. Sure, these are important, but paying attention to diversity also means considering the differing perspectives that come from different genders, races, religions, sexual orientations and mental/physical difficulties and characteristics. You can embrace the diversity found within your team by using respectful language when referring to various groups and displaying supportive signs or posters in your office. Be prepared and willing to learn about your own personality type (most notably by incorporating the </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Enneagram</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – discussed below – which can become invaluable when embracing diversity), because this can help you become more self-aware, engaging more easily with team members. Be open to explore your own personal biases too as this is a critical step when learning about the root of possible prejudices. And it can teach you both how to fix that bias and how avoid it in the future.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_33 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_55 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_35"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_56 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Remember that your words and actions are important</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– choose your words carefully. Don’t speak without thinking how what you say will affect someone else. It also helps to stay mindful of what your body language demonstrates to others (remember the article on </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/effective-workplace-communication/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Effective Workplace Communication</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – body language is key). Ask people about what they think and would do in each situation. Truly listen to your team members. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_34 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_57 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_36"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_58 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Manage the Self</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– when one talks about the “self” we often refer to our emotional intelligence—how well we can relate to others, even when the going gets tough. Especially when a work environment is not as harmonious as we would like it to be. This can take work on oneself too – for instance, try and empathize with and understand the perspectives of others, remain open to working on (and overcoming) your own mistakes or failures, be consistent with your interactions with others. Stop and take notice when you are not. Do what you say you will do – be true to your word. Hold yourself accountable. Ask your team members if you haven’t “walked the talk”. And then, do better! Managing the Self is an ongoing thing – you will always be working on you. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_35 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_59 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_37"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_60 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Encourage open communication</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– not speaking up is quite common in teams. You wouldn’t be alone if you were afraid to speak up, especially during meetings. Perhaps it’s the vulnerability that keeps us all quiet. A lot of us feel this way. So, encourage other team members to speak up, to voice their opinion and support them when they do! Listen to them and then applaud them for doing so. If you cheer someone else on, when it’s your turn, they will do the same for you. Encourage an environment of open communication. And creating this sort of team culture will motivate and encourage one another, helping creative innovative ideas thrive. That’s harmonious indeed.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_36"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_61 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You may be thinking – wow that’s just as bad as “kumbaya”. I hear you. They are just pointers. You can take them – or leave them – the choice is yours. But the fact of the matter is, practicing the above pointers in your day-to-day life</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> encourages harmony within a team. And within you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s not just the external factors to take into consideration. It’s also about knowing yourself. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Know thyself, first!</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before you can really incorporate any of the above points into your life (and into your working environment), it’s crucial to gain a better understanding of who you are – deep down – first.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Know yourself”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is the sum of all philosophical commandments, Socrates once observed. Aristotle in all his wisdom, echoed that sentiment by saying </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> How right they were!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because to encourage diversity and actively embrace new ways of doing things – creating a harmonious working environment – requires the embrace of different personality types, while at the same time, knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">who </span></i><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you</span></i></span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> are – </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">as a member of that team. What is your personality type? How do you fit into a team? How can you work better within a team?</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_38"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment-2.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment (2)" class="wp-image-4950" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">All pertinent questions in this journey to create harmony in your work (and personal) life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And this is where the </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Enneagram</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> can become invaluable to a diverse team all having diverse needs. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As you may recall in the article – </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I set out just </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how beneficial taking the Enneagram was</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in better understanding myself and the reasons why I do the things that I do. It has highlighted my core motivations and the impact they have on my personality, how I think, how I feel and how I act.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Enneagram has been invaluable in my own journey of self-discovery, self-development, relationship building, how I can better resolve conflict according to my own personality type and how I can work better in a team.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I think for anyone looking to better understand team dynamics and looking to create a harmonious working environment, the following found on the Braving Boundaries </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">website</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">is highly enlightening – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The power of the Enneagram lies in its subtle complexity, in its flexibility, and in its open-endedness, allowing it to take into account the myriad characteristics of human personality, how these traits blend in each person, and how they change depending on circumstances. </span><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">The Enneagram is all about the WHY. It delves into our motivations and explains why we do the things we do. It offers profound insights into what makes us tick, such as the unconscious fears buried deep in our psyches that affect our everyday decisions.”</span></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The feedback session – as I said previously – was where I was able to gain a real understanding of my personality or archetype style. It’s how I got better acquainted with myself. It’s how I have been able to implement the changes suggested to me in the report. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And for </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">any team</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">any business</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, this would be worth its weight in gold. The perfect way to ensure a harmonious working environment, as well as effective, positive communication. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To find out more about the Enneagram Team Session and how you can both better understand team members within your oganisation whilst also discovering ways you can improve on your own communication skills, take a look at the </span><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/">Braving Boundaries website </a></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">and </span><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/">get in touch</a></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with Frieda Levycky today. There are fantastic programmes for both individuals and teams.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Truly invest in yourself and your team. Ensure you create a positive, harmonious working environment!</span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_39"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram-inquiry/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-1.jpg" alt="Book a Team Enneagram Sessions with Frieda Levycky" title="End of blog post CTA image (1)" class="wp-image-4875" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_37"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_62 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_2 et_pb_divider_position_center et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_38 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_63 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_40"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_64 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment/">6 ways to create a harmonious work environment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/6-ways-to-create-a-harmonious-work-environment/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>What is success?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 22 Aug 2022 11:55:50 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a successful life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[achieve]]></category> <category><![CDATA[achievement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[achieving]]></category> <category><![CDATA[balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[choose wisely]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[expectations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[successful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life blend]]></category> <category><![CDATA[your choice]]></category> <category><![CDATA[your life]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4480</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Success. How do you define it? By money, power and recognition? Or by free time, balance and happiness? It's your life. You decide.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/">What is success?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_3 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_39"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_65 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p> <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> </p> <p>The word “success” is subjective.</p> <p></p> <p>Even if you wonder: “W<em>hat does success mean to me?”,</em> I can almost wager that your definition of success today, is quite different from what it was five years ago.</p> <p></p> <p>Because life changes. And with it, so do our expectations.</p> <p></p> <p>I take myself as an example.</p> <p></p> <p>Success to me, at least five years ago, meant driving a Mercedes-Benz. It meant wearing my Louboutin shoes. It meant being able to flash cash. It meant money. Money that I could do whatever I wanted with.</p> <p></p> <p>That money also came with a title: <em>Head of XYZ Department</em>. Sitting on the Board. It gave me such a thrill to know that I was “powerful”.</p> <p></p> <p>But the truth is, that version of “success”, failed to account for the relationship with my husband or my physical well-being and mental health.</p> <p></p> <p>I had become accustomed to <em>“keep calm and carry on”. </em>I felt like a duck on water – all serene and happy on the outside. Calm with everything seemingly working out just fine. That was the version of me that the world saw. And to everyone – myself included – I was “successful”.</p> <p></p> <p>But underneath the water my feet were paddling <em>ten-to-the-dozen</em>. I was over-stressed, not eating healthily, ignoring all the alarm bells going off in my head. I was at complete odds with what I had come to expect from myself and what I<em> wanted for myself</em>.</p> <p></p> <p>I was immensely unhappy, unhealthy and unsure of exactly what to do about it.</p> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>Five years on and my definition of success has changed</strong></em></h2> <p></p> <p>Looking back, so much as happened, both good and bad. But the most important thing is this – I know what real success for me is now. And it has nothing to do with money or title.</p> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/what-is-success-article-3.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" class="wp-image-4484" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/what-is-success-article-3-1024x768.jpg" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p>Sure, having cash to flash is always a good thing BUT (and this is a very big but), if you are sacrificing all the fundamental things like happiness and health for it, the “price-tag” is not worth it.</p> <p></p> <p>And to me, there is no amount of money that is worth my sanity. Or my health. Not anymore anyway.</p> <p></p> <p>For me, five years on (and a lot of work on myself), success is –</p> <p></p> <p></p> <ul class="wp-block-list"> <li>Loving what I do.</li> <li>Living a life that is very-well balanced – I go to the gym; I treat myself to massages and mani and pedi’s and I get to spend quality time with my family without the guilt of “not quite finishing my to-do list”. Don’t get me wrong – finishing what you commit to is important. But knowing when enough is enough for that day is even more so (something I have only recently learnt).</li> <li>Living my life, the way I want to. Forgetting about the expectations that my so-called high-powered position dictated.</li> <li>Going to bed at night not dreading tomorrow. Not worrying about next week. Because I get to say no to the things I don’t want to do and a resounding YES to all the things that I do.</li> <li>Choice and options.</li> <li>Simply being truly, deep-down in your gut, happy.</li> <li>Laughing aloud as often as I can without a care in the world.</li> </ul> <p></p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>Success through the eyes of others</strong></em></h2> <p></p> <p>Curious, I asked my husband what he believes success means. His answer, whilst always insightful, was a little surprising. Because it mirrored my own (I guess that’s why we are married).</p> <p></p> <p>His measure of success is broken down into easy-to-understand words (which will often change over time). He chose one word to measure <em>his </em>success. Now. That one word is HAPPINESS. <em>“If I fall asleep every night and my stomach hurts from laughing, then I know it was a successful day”</em>. The parameters that went into that day don’t matter. The only measurement that matters is laughter. Is happiness<em>. That is his success</em>.</p> <p></p> <p>It won’t be the same for everyone. That’s for sure.</p> <p></p> <p></p> <ul class="wp-block-list"> <li>Maybe success to you is the big house, the fancy car, the holiday in France, and your picture in the socials.</li> <li>Maybe it means being able to spend half the day with your kids.</li> <li>Maybe it means being able to take a run in the morning.</li> <li>Maybe it means going fishing with your dad in the afternoon.</li> </ul> <p></p> <p>Because success is (again) subjective. Whatever that measure of <em>“I have made it”</em> (at least at that particular point in your life) means to you, will influence your definition of what being successful means.</p> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/what-is-success-article-4.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" class="wp-image-4485" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/what-is-success-article-4-1024x768.jpg" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>What the “experts” say about success</strong></em></h2> <p></p> <p>When we think of success and becoming <em>“whatever we want to become”,</em> some of us will think of the late <a href="https://www.ziglar.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Zig Ziglar</a>. Author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006ZG5THW?tag=s7621-20" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Born to Win: Find Your Success Code</a>, Zig Ziglar championed and preached leading a balanced life, staying motivated and ultimately finding success.</p> <p></p> <p>Ziglar argues in Born to Win, that success is not defined by any one thing. It is motivated by and comprised of many different things.</p> <p></p> <p>Mirroring my own belief – <em>success is subjective</em>.</p> <p></p> <p>And in saying that, we can all agree that “success” (despite having a formal definition) is not a one-size-fits-all thing. It will always depend on the individual and the goals and achievements that individual <em>wants</em> for themselves.</p> <p></p> <p>Likewise, motivational speaker, <a href="https://www.tonyrobbins.com/stories/unleash-the-power/success-doesnt-have-to-be-a-secret/">Tony Robbins</a> <a href="text=Tony%20tells%20us%20that%20%E2%80%9CSuccess,as%20your%20purpose%20in%20life." target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">defines success</a> as <em>“doing what you want, when you want, where you want, with whom you want as much as you want. That’s a powerful purpose.”</em></p> <p></p> <p>And <a href="https://www.gatesnotes.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Bill Gates</a> cautions that <em>“success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose”.</em></p> <p></p> <p>As you can see, “success” is kind of a mixed bag! But, in summary, defining success is up to you and it can be achieved by leading a balanced life, doing what you want, when you want and as often as you want. But with caution. Because everyone can make mistakes. Everyone can fail.</p> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>How do you get to a “place of success”?</strong></em></h2> <p></p> <p>Whilst there are many different definitions and understandings of what success <em>is </em>(and what it is not), during my research, I discovered the following five key steps which I believe are crucial in measuring or finding success –</p> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis: 15%;"> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" class="wp-image-1486" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Stay true to your core beliefs – </strong><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/paigearnoffenn/?sh=648d8e0b1bd6" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Paige Arnof-Fenn</a>, Founder & CEO, <a href="http://mavensandmoguls.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Mavens & Moguls</a>, said in an article titled <a href="https://upjourney.com/what-is-success-answers-from-successful-people" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What Is Success? (Great Answers from 35 Successful People)</a>: <em>“Loyalty is one of my core values—loyalty to self and to others whom I respect. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that for me, relationships matter. Quality encounters matter. Honesty matters. Consistency matters. Authenticity and integrity matter. The experience and the journey matter. Focus on what matters to you and get rid of things that don’t. Taking the clutter out of your mind and your life frees up space for more of what you value”</em>.</p> <p></p> </div> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis: 15%;"> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" class="wp-image-1487" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Do the work – </strong>a personal favourite of mine, <a href="https://www.eddieizzard.com/en" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Eddie Izzard</a>, an English comedian, actor and activist in an article titled <a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/comedian-eddie-izzards-five-top-tips-for-success/article15314106/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Comedian Eddie Izzard’s five top tips for success</a>, listed the Schwarzenegger school of image evolution as a mode to achieve success. On this particular subject, he said the following: <em>“Maybe some people have trouble thinking of me as a politician, which is why I have been focusing on more dramatic work in terms of my acting. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger: At first, he was a body builder who wanted to be an actor and people weren’t so sure about that, and then he started doing action movies and he did Twins and he started to get better. When he said he wanted to be governor people weren’t so sure, but then he ended up being a pretty good businessman, which made it easier for the public to see him as a politician. He’s not my politics, but he’s a great example of how you can lay the groundwork for the direction you want to go in”.</em></p> <p></p> </div> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis: 15%;"> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-1488" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Learn from mistakes so you don’t repeat them – </strong>Bill Gates in an article titled <a href="https://wealthygorilla.com/bill-gates-success-lessons/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">17 Success Lessons from Bill Gates</a> set out that to achieve success you should not whine about failures, but learn from them instead: “<em>What is the point in blaming other people for your mistakes? Who are you trying to fool? Your mistakes are on you, they are not anyone else’s fault, so stop blaming other people just to try and rid your conscience of guilt. Mistakes are made to be learned from. You now know what or what not to do in the same situation when it rolls around for a second time and believe me, in most cases it will roll around again”.</em></p> <p></p> </div> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis: 15%;"> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" class="wp-image-1489" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Prioritise self-care – </strong>Oprah Winfreystated in a commencement address at Smith College in 2017 that in order to achieve success and “find fulfilment” one needs to prioritise self-care: <em>“If you put yourself last and burn out, you won’t have anything left for others, let alone the goals you’re striving to achieve”.</em></p> <p></p> </div> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis: 15%;"> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" class="wp-image-1490" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Success is about the journey, not the destination – </strong><a href="https://profiles.forbes.com/members/tech/profile/David-Gasparyan-President-Phonexa/c8c683a0-8b41-4278-bee7-23ae5775f6e9" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">David Gasparyan</a> founder and President of <a href="https://phonexa.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Phonexa</a> believes it is a more long term thing: “<em>Obviously, we can define success in many ways: by having the love and support of your family, by setting trends in your industry, by building a great company. And I do believe it is important to set goals for your work and personal life and reaching those goals can be viewed as a success. But I believe that ultimately success is more about the journey than the destination. If I am able to wake up every day and put the maximum amount of energy and effort into goals that I believe in, that is success</em>.”</p> <p></p> </div> <p></p> </div> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/what-is-success-article-5.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-4486" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/what-is-success-article-5-1024x768.jpg" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>What success comes down to really</strong></em></h2> <p></p> <p>Success comes down to defining what it means to you. Simple as that. Because “success” (any measure of it) is entirely dependent on you.</p> <p></p> <p></p> <ul class="wp-block-list"> <li>Stay true to your core beliefs.</li> <li>Do the work to understand what makes you tick.</li> <li>Learn from mistakes (because who wants to repeat them?).</li> <li>Prioritise self-care.</li> <li>Understand that it is a journey.</li> </ul> <p></p> <p>For me, despite failures and misgivings. Despite difficulties. Despite everything to the contrary, this quote by author <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Ralph-Waldo-Emerson" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ralph Waldo Emerson</a> sums up what success means to me:</p> <p></p> <p>“<em>To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a little bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”</em></p> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/BB-Blog-images-What-is-success-1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" class="wp-image-4497" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/BB-Blog-images-What-is-success-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="" /></a></figure> <p></p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>Getting to success</strong></em></h2> <p></p> <p></p> <ul class="wp-block-list"> <li>Perhaps you follow my husband and choose one word that encapsulates what success – as an overall “thing” – means to you.</li> <li>Perhaps it is about drawing up a road map to get you to a place of achieving a goal.</li> <li>Perhaps it is understanding what your priorities are and then staying true to them (because otherwise what is the point?).</li> <li>Perhaps it involves simply putting yourself first and asking yourself – what do <em>you want</em>?</li> <li>Perhaps it is realising that this is a long-term objective, measuring success objectively as you go through life.</li> </ul> <p></p> <p>There are so many ways to achieve a version of success that fits you – right now – and there is no one way to get there either.</p> <p></p> <p>So, grab a cuppa and a notepad (a pen or pencil too) and jot down the things that matter to you the most, starting with your core values. Work through the things that you have in your life and the things that you want in your life. <em>Imagine the life you want to be living</em>. And then draw a road map on how to get there – realistically.</p> <p></p> <p>If you need help with this, contact <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/">Braving Boundaries </a>and set up a call with Frieda Levycky who can take you through some practical and actionable steps to get you on a road where you can identify your goals and ultimately achieve success – as <em>defined by you</em>.</p> <p></p> <p>At this point, there may be one nagging thing that is bobbing around inside your head: “W<em>hat about my failures?</em> <em>Where do they fit in?”</em>. We have all failed at something (trust me). But <em><strong>failure doesn’t define you</strong></em>. In our next article we will tackle this small, yet seemingly menacing word – <em>failure</em>.</p> <p></p> <p>We look forward to going through this with you!</p> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p></p> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-wide" style="background-color: #c69127; color: #c69127;" /> <p></p> <p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p> <p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> </p> <p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> </p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div><p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/">What is success?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 26 May 2022 06:38:50 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accountants]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bravery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business men]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[directionless]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[listen to your feelings]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[off track]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[purposeless]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[searching for purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time off]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trust your gut]]></category> <category><![CDATA[value alignment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[values]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4353</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Have you ever felt lost? That feeling of having no direction, no purpose and being completely off track? You're not alone.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/">Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>Have you ever felt lost?</p> <p>We’re not talking about driving to an area you don’t know without your sat-nav working. That’s a different kind of lost. <em>Altogether.</em> </p> <p>We’re talking about the “lost” that happens when you feel yourself losing your place in the world. The “lost” you feel when you’re not quite keeping up with those around you. The “lost” you feel when you’re disconnected from your purpose. And yourself. </p> <p>A feeling of “<em>where have I come from and where am I going to?</em>”.</p> <p>That kind of “lost”. Directionless. Purposeless. And completely off track.</p> <p>Feeling lost is very tangible. You can hear it. Smell it. Even taste it. It’s there all around you. </p> <p>What has caused it can be an innumerable amount of things. Maybe you have plenty of reasons. Maybe only one. And maybe none at all. Maybe you just are feeling – <em>lost.</em> Simple as that. </p> <p>It happens. To most of us throughout our lives. Spurred on by many different things – the end of a romance, the end of a career, the loss of a loved one, failing an exam, losing a case, or bungling up a deal. There are just so many variables. So many factors. And sometimes it’s more than one. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Am I lost or just demotivated?</em></strong></h2> <p>Being demotivated is quite different from feeling lost. </p> <p>According to the Oxford Dictionary being “demotivated” is when someone is <em>“less eager to work or study.” </em></p> <p>Someone who is demotivated knows where they are going and what they are doing (usually) but they just feel a little <em>less eager to get there</em>. They are missing that little cherry on top. That incentive. That nudge to get them back on track.</p> <p>But this feeling of “being lost” is different. It’s when you look in the mirror and suddenly don’t know who the person looking back at you <em>is</em>. Inside. It is the feeling of being suspended in liquid treading water and hoping you find your way out and towards the sun once again. </p> <p><em>Maybe an example will help.</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Feeling-lost-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track-1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Feeling-lost-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4355"/></a></figure> <p>Take a puzzle. After all, you know how much we love puzzles.</p> <p>Someone who is demotivated will look at all the bright coloured pieces – they will see the different shapes and sizes and can possibly even tell where one piece is meant to go. But they just don’t want to. Maybe they don’t like the image on the puzzle. Maybe they just don’t like puzzles. Maybe they just can’t be bothered. Either way, they don’t feel excited about completing it. </p> <p>Someone who is feeling lost, actually does like puzzles. But they cannot see the image of the puzzle. At all. They cannot even tell if it is in black and white or colour. So, they don’t know the first thing about <em>how</em> to put it together. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Acknowledging how you feel is the first step</em></strong></h2> <p>We acknowledge that this feeling of being lost is really hard. We acknowledge that it is not something that you can just “keep calm and carry on” about. In fact, you really shouldn’t. </p> <p>But we also know that the first step in dealing with feeling lost is acknowledging and admitting that <em>you are.</em></p> <p>Because by acknowledging how you are feeling, <em>you can start to deal with it.</em> And in so doing, <em>get to know who you are </em><em>now</em> – after finding yourself again. </p> <p>Remember, <em>“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” </em>(Aristotle).</p> <p>Acknowledging, accepting and reminding yourself that it is ok to feel the way you do, is your absolute first step. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What comes next? </em></strong></h2> <p>Your journey to finding yourself again, learning about yourself and accepting the “new you” can be an unbelievably valuable exercise. Learning about yourself is a great gift and helping yourself get through this feeling of unease can change your life in so many ways. All for the better. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Blog-images-Feeling-Lost.jpg"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Blog-images-Feeling-Lost-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4358"/></a></figure> <p>So here are some tips/strategies to follow on how to deal with feeling lost: </p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><a href="#care">Take care of yourself</a></li><li><a href="#victim">Do not become a victim</a></li><li><a href="#focus">Focus on your strengths and capabilities</a></li><li><a href="#reflect">Reflect on your values</a></li><li><a href="#acknowledge">Acknowledge who you really are</a></li><li><a href="#learn">Learn from it</a></li><li><a href="#ask">Ask for help</a></li></ol> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="care"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Take care of yourself</em></strong> – be kind to yourself first and foremost. After telling yourself it’s ok to feel how you are feeling, taking care of yourself is crucial. This is not the time to badger yourself about being weak or failing or <em>“not being good enough”</em>. Firstly, all of that is rubbish. That is just your insecurity talking. And secondly, belittling yourself will not help the situation. Be kind to yourself. Breathe. Try meditation or yoga. Get back to feeling ok in your own skin again. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="victim"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Do not become a victim</em></strong><em> </em>– when you are trying to figure out what to do next, it is only natural to develop a sort of defeatist attitude. It becomes easy to give up and not try. It is easy to become a victim. But that will only hurt you in the long run. If you stop caring about what you are doing and simply accept your situation, you are telling yourself its fine to stay in the hole you are in. It’s ok to give up. But it just isn’t. So, work on your self-esteem. Remind yourself that this is a phase, something you are working through and give yourself back your self-worth – because <em>you deserve more than that. </em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="focus"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Focus on your strengths and capabilities</em></strong><em> </em>– it’s only natural that when you are feeling lost in the world to focus on your flaws. We all have them. We are only human after all. No one is perfect. But focusing on those flaws that you may (or may not) have is again harmful. You will have nothing to gain from focusing on your weaknesses. Your flaws. The things you cannot do. <em>Yet.</em> So instead – shift your perspective. Focus on the things that you <em>can</em> do well. Focus on your strengths and your best qualities (come on you can admit what these are). Become your biggest supporter. Tell yourself <em>“You’ve got this”</em> and feel strong in that realisation. Because you are amazing, with your own gifts, your own qualities and your own unique personality. And that’s a powerful thing. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-10 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="reflect"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Reflect on your values</em></strong><em> </em>– ask yourself this <em>“what is important to you?”</em>. When you can understand what matters most in your life, when you can feel what resonates with you – focus on that. And then do whatever you need to, to live your life in line with those values that are most important to you. Remember this is <em>your life</em>. You should be living it for yourself. Not anyone else. And with that knowledge in mind – open yourself up to opportunity and take it all in.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-11 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="acknowledge"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Acknowledge who you really are</em></strong><em> </em>– now this may be a hard one. Because again, it starts with acknowledging where you are <em>right now</em>. We don’t mean on your couch in your living room. We mean, where you are emotionally. Then once you have done that, remind yourself <em>who you are</em>. Think about this deeply and look inside of yourself. You know your core values, you will already have admitted to your strengths and capabilities, you will know your self-worth. Now acknowledge what knowing all of those things about yourself makes you – a beautiful, unique individual who has been through a tough time. But someone who can find their way out of it. <em>Be true to you.</em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-12 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="learn"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Learn from it</em></strong><em> </em>– every obstacle put in our way is there to teach us a lesson. Even the really hard ones. And feeling lost is one of them. But going through this process of self-evaluation and self-care can open up your mind to parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed. We are always so busy – with work, with our families, with our friends that we often neglect getting to know ourselves first. We forget that each experience in life teaches us a valuable lesson. You have most likely been through emotions similar to this before. And going through it taught you something knew about you. So, take this life lesson and learn from it. Grow.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-13 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="ask"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Ask for help</em></strong><em> </em>– while the above are helpful steps to take in finding your way out of the fog, they are not the <em>be all and end all</em>. They are not magical beans that will suddenly turn your life around. No matter how hard you try. Sometimes we just cannot seem to pull ourselves out of the hole we have dug for ourselves. And that’s ok. But staying in that state of flux is not. So, put pride, shame and whatever else aside and ask for help. Again, we acknowledge that feeling lost is hard. It is scary and can be lonely. This isn’t easy. And we are not playing it down. <em>Whatsoever.</em> </p> </div> </div> <p>However, we believe that situations like this can be a catalyst for amazing change in your life. It can redirect you towards the things that matter most to you. <em>If you let them</em>. And that’s the key right there. <em>Its all up to you.</em> </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Be patient with yourself. Nothing blooms all year” </em></p><cite>Anonymous</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>On that note, we remind you that your mental health and your mental wellbeing are paramount to living a full life. Do not neglect them. Do not dismiss them. Do not ignore feelings of despair or feelings of being lost. </p> <p>Reach out. But also allow yourself <em>to feel, to deal and to grow from this. </em></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Resources</h2> <p><a href="https://declutterthemind.com/blog/feeling-lost/">Feeling Lost: 9 Ways to Cope When You Feel Lost</a><br><a href="http://12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life">12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life</a><br><a href="http://Feeling Lost? Here’s What It Means and How to Find Yourself">Feeling Lost? Here’s What It Means and How to Find Yourself</a></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-wide" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-14 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/">Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Stressed out? Why holidays are a necessity NOT a luxury</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2022 13:14:15 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accountants]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business men]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relax]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relaxation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time off]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unplug]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vacation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vacation time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3911</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Stress impacts both our physical and mental health. Yet society has convinced us that everything else in life trumps our need to rest. We need to stop thinking that holidays are a luxury rather than a necessity.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/">Stressed out? Why holidays are a necessity NOT a luxury</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>When was the last time you took (at least) a 2-week holiday?</p> <p>Was it as recently as this Christmas? Was it in the last year? Was it in the last 2, 3, 5 years? </p> <p>For those of you who have managed a 2-week break, let me ask you that question again, just with a slightly different emphasis this time: <em>When was the last time you took (at least) a 2-week </em><strong><em>holiday</em></strong><em>?</em></p> <p>I’m not talking about a “holiday” where you’re on call. Or a holiday where you’ll answer one or two emails. Or a holiday which coincides with a business trip. Or a holiday combined with working from your hotel room a couple of hours a day. Or a holiday where you are racing from one place to another. Or a holiday which is basically two weeks of admin catch up because you’ve not found time to do it during working hours.</p> <p>I’m talking about a <strong><em>proper holiday</em></strong>: downtime; a real break; time off. An extended period where you rest, read a book, go for lazy walks, sleep in, watch TV, paint, drink wine, daydream – whatever it is that allows you to truly switch off and do what you want to do. When was the last time you did that?</p> <p>Any takers?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-3-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (3)" class="wp-image-3922"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-m-so-stressed-holidays-are-a-luxury-not-a-necessity"><strong>I’m so stressed! – Holidays </strong><strong><em>are a luxury</em></strong><strong> not a necessity</strong></h2> <p>Although not stated in so many words, this is a belief many of us hold about taking time off (me included, back in the day). Society has convinced us that practically everything else in life trumps our need to rest. Just consider how many of the following statements have run through your mind (if not been explicitly said) when you’ve considered pausing for a couple hours or a weekend (never mind two weeks): </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>I have kids – my time is not my own. There is no such thing as downtime.</li><li>I’m strong, capable and an amazing multi-tasker. I don’t need a break.</li><li>I’m not lucky enough to have been born into a wealthy family. I can’t afford time off.</li><li>My free time needs to benefit me – it’s not for rest.</li><li>There’s been no point in taking a holiday in the last 2 years, we’ve had nowhere to go.</li><li>Work needs me – I’m essential to the project. I can’t just swan off to a beach for a week to read a book!</li><li>I get bored too easily. 4 days is sufficient time off for me.</li><li>I’m worried that if I’m not in the office that people will forget about me or get promoted ahead of me.</li><li>I’ve no one to travel with. What’s the point of taking a holiday?</li><li>If you’re not punching out the hours, you’re not a team player / you’ll never succeed.</li><li>I find it really difficult to stop and do nothing.</li><li>Holidays are an incredible waste of time!</li></ul> <p>The list goes on and on. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-4-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (4)" class="wp-image-3923"/></figure> <p>And so, with a heavy head of acceptance and a dose of martyrdom, we sacrifice our rest time (that time for our seemingly frivolous needs and wants) for the “right” things – the things a capitalist society tells us are more important: money, power, success, stability and security.</p> <p>The thing is, all of the above reasons seem perfectly justifiable for placing the luxury of a holiday on the backburner. But, when we take a closer look, those reasons are merely well-constructed and societally-approved excuses masking our own fears about taking time off. Often our identities are so intrinsically linked to the stereotyped roles that we play (the good mother, father, daughter, son, lawyer, accountant, CEO, COO, teacher, charity worker etc.) that the thought of taking a break from those roles (and the potential consequences of losing our identity – <em>I mean, what would people say?</em>) prevent us from seeing holidays as a necessity rather than a luxury.</p> <p>But what happens when you don’t stop and take time out for yourself? What happens when you keep on pushing through; putting work, family, friends, relationships ahead of your needs?</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/product/deluxe-gift-box/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="790" height="170" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/BB-animated-deluxe-gift-promo-banner-790-×-170-px.gif" alt="" class="wp-image-4343"/></a></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button aligncenter is-style-fill"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-background" style="border-radius:0px;background-color:#c69229">GET SOME “ME TIME”</a></div> </div> <div style="height:60px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-experience-how-a-proper-holiday-shifts-the-stress-perspective"><strong>My experience – how a proper holiday shifts the stress perspective </strong></h2> <p>Back in my years in corporate, 70-100 hour weeks were the norm. I constantly worked through my holidays and some, if not all, my weekends. There was one particular period where I remember flying over to Australia to spend time with my step-brother and his family. At the time, I was lead counsel on a mining deal in Canada which insisted on closing whilst I was “on holiday”. Given the time difference, the entire two weeks were spent working through the night (drafting documents, attending conference calls and negotiating), crawling into bed at 4am for three hours sleep, and then groggily playing with my niece and nephews. So much for time off! When I flew back to Geneva, there was little reprieve. The next 6 months consisted of trips to Canada, Russia and Ukraine, interspersed with weekends in Italy climbing 4,000 metre peaks; daily gym workouts; a road trip to a friends’ wedding in France and at least half a day every weekend at my computer. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-5-1024x768.jpg" alt="Frieda Levycky Stressed" class="wp-image-3913"/></figure> <p>Life was exciting and full of variety, but it was exhausting!!! And it paid a physical toll on my body… I lost tonnes of weight. I wasn’t sleeping properly. My skin was pale. I woke up every morning with grey puffy eyes. The physical signs that I needed a break were all there, staring back at me in the mirror every morning … my body was literally screaming at me to take a break and yet I refused to listen. I had convinced myself that work needed me. I was priceless to them. I was the only person who knew everything about the projects I was working on. And let’s be honest, I loved the feeling of being indispensable, needed and wanted. Had I taken a break, I’d merely have felt guilty for letting people down and worried that someone else would shine in my place. My self-worth and identity were so reliant on work – that I actually just feared the consequences of taking a break and seeing what was left of me without the work.</p> <p>When I got hospitalized with pneumonia, and my CFO called me to tell me that under no circumstances was I to respond to any email in the next two weeks, I finally sat back in my hospital bed and relaxed. I finally had permission (not that I should have needed it) to stop and rest and focus on getting my body back to health. I promise you, it’s not the ideal way of spending a 2 week holiday.</p> <p>Subconsciously, that two week break put into motion a wave of events that ultimately led me to reassess my needs and priorities. I missed quality time with my friends and family. I missed traveling for fun and adventuring. I missed morning coffees in bed. I missed sunbathing and reading for fun. I missed playing board games and creating photograph books. I missed all the “frivolous” things that just “wasted my time” because they didn’t push me towards “success”.</p> <p>That 2 week rest brought about a profound change in my life. In the way I made decisions; in what I valued; and in what I chose to prioritize.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-m-so-stressed-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury"><strong>I’m so stressed! – Holidays are </strong><strong><em>a necessity</em></strong><strong>, </strong><strong>not</strong><strong> a luxury</strong></h2> <p>My story is just one of thousands of examples of what can happen when we don’t make downtime a priority. And the world already acknowledges that it is.</p> <p>Every judicial system around the world has built in statutory minimum holiday requirements for employees for a reason. Why? Because it is a common, well-researched fact that a holiday is essential to recover from the daily stress of work.</p> <p>Stress impacts both our physical and mental health. And the longer it continues, the more damaging the effects will be on us.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-6-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (6)" class="wp-image-3925"/></figure> <p>And yet, there we are, with our bounty of viable excuses as to why holidays are not a necessity.</p> <p>But the reality is that:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>We need to be <strong><em>changing our mindset</em></strong> towards holidays and self-prioritisation. </li><li>We need to <strong><em>stop boasting</em></strong> about the fact that we’ve not taken a day’s holiday in two years!</li><li>We need to <strong><em>stop joking that taking time off is “dangerous”</em></strong> as it “allows us to remember what life is like outside of the office”! – What is it they say about jokes? There is always an element of truth in them.</li><li>We need to <strong><em>take a reality check on what is important to us</em></strong>. As Oliver Burkeman succinctly explains in his book: <em><a href="https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/four-thousand-weeks-time-management-for-mortals/503825?refId=38712&gclid=Cj0KCQiA_8OPBhDtARIsAKQu0gZRhB-UEmg1XjoM86a2VMql94QQpZiioW3gx1iXI0A_GOsUvX2YhBcaAtNQEALw_wcB">Four Thousand Weeks</a></em>: <em>“The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short …. Assuming you live to be 80, you’ll have about four thousand weeks.”</em> That is all the time that we have on this earth: four thousand weeks! So, ask yourself, how do you want to spend those weeks? Stressed out and constantly prioritizing everyone ahead of yourself? Or enjoying the things that you love doing just for the sake of doing them (and for no other purpose than that).</li></ul> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-by-putting-you-first"><strong><em>Reducing stress by putting you first</em></strong></h2> <p>So, before you think of a reason <em>not</em> to go on holiday, <em>not</em> to put yourself first and <em>not</em> to do the things that bring happiness into your life, think instead of every reason that you <em>should be</em> doing those things. Like your own wellbeing, your health (both mentally and physically) and your happiness. Those should be top priority (regardless of everything else going on in your day-to-day).</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (1)" class="wp-image-3920"/></figure> <p>Life is short, it is unpredictable and it is fragile – embrace every moment you have on this planet and <em>live well</em>. Don’t just survive each day, <em>enjoy each day</em>. And taking a real holiday (or simply taking the weekend for yourself), is key to achieving a balance, well-lived life. Real rest is crucial. </p> <p>So go on – the sun, sea and sand are calling you. <em>Can you hear them?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Take a read of next week’s article <strong><em>“Spotting the signs of stress – even when you think you aren’t” </em></strong>which will explore how stress manifests in our bodies and how to recover from it.</p> <p>For further insight into stress and anxiety management, check out the article: <em><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a></strong></em>.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/">Stressed out? Why holidays are a necessity NOT a luxury</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2022 12:55:35 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[edith eger]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[it's not fair]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pandemic]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[viktor frankl]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3883</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Aside from the normal New Year stress, in 2022, there is an ever present anxiety around what now, what next or where to from here?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>As we “come down” from our “festive high” – filled with presents, hope for 2022, rich food and laughter of family – we find ourselves gradually settling back into the daily norm and the reality of <em>“taking the year seriously”</em> once again comes to the fore. </p> <p>And, if you’re anything like me, as with the start of every year, you’ll find that you have already put pressure on yourself to overhaul your life – to become a better, more shinier version of yourself and excel before you have even found yourself (properly) at the starting block. </p> <p>But this year, things are a little different. </p> <p><strong><em>“Janu-worry” at the start of 2022 has never been more “worryful”.</em></strong></p> <p>Not only is the world still reeling from the Omicron variant, but we are also dealing with so many other issues, like a reduced household income (due to job loss or resignation), our normal “New Year worries” and an ever present anxiety around – <em>what now, what next or where to from here? </em></p> <p>Everything kind of feels “up in the air”. </p> <p>It’s enough to make your head spin. And we are all kind of feeling a little dizzy right about now – <em>can we please get off this “joy ride”?</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/2-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3885"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-cause-of-the-stress-spiral-for-2022"><strong><em>The cause of the stress spiral for 2022</em></strong></h2> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="1-financial-stress"><strong><em>1. Financial Stress</em></strong></h3> <p>As we all know – Janu-worry is 54 days long! There it is again – that familiar realisation that all the money that we spent on gifts, travel or expensive festive meals should have covered us for the rest of the month. With no happy distractions to take our minds off the matter, coming down off of a relaxing holiday and having to delve into our finances knowing that we are <em>coming up short,</em> is an excruciating exercise. Stress levels increase and the stress spiral begins. </p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="2-the-it-s-not-fair-stress"><strong><em>2. The “it’s not fair” stress</em></strong></h3> <p>Some of us did not take leave. Some of us could not spend time with our families (who are living abroad) with travel restrictions being what they are. Perhaps we had planned a big family reunion only to have the “stuffing pulled out of the turkey” – so to speak. Travel plans were cancelled, teary calls to family members (once again) with news that we wouldn’t be coming home this year. Tearful Video Chats on Christmas day or on New Year’s –<em> “maybe next year”. </em></p> <p>Quite frankly, it sucked! </p> <p>And for those of us that still worked throughout December and found ourselves, yet again, alone during our Christmas lunches, we too are feeling the rather resentful twitch that is – <em>Christmas (and our holiday cheer) was stolen from us</em>. The Grinch being rather successful this year.</p> <p>All in all we are feeling it – that worry, anxiety and stress sprinkled with a dash of regret, resentment and anger. </p> <p>It kind of feels like the three bears – one bowl of porridge was too hot (the over spenders), one bowl of porridge was too cold (we didn’t get a Christmas at all) and on reflection, there does not seem to be many with a bowl <em>that was just right.</em> </p> <p>Know what we mean?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/3-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3886"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="3-the-covid-stress">3<em><strong>. The covid stress</strong></em></h3> <p>Some of us were again infected with Covid (Omicron being extremely transmissible. Not necessarily worse, just catchier). And after a couple of run-ins with Covid during 2021, some of us are dealing with abject fear, uncertainty of what to do to prevent transmission and an overall state of subjective PTSD. </p> <p>Wanting to lock ourselves away from the world. Yet again. Putting ourselves under a self-inflicted lockdown. Sanitising <em>everythaaaang</em> (even considering whether we should sanitise our sanitizer bottles) and becoming complete loons at the thought of <em>another</em> outbreak.</p> <p>It feels like we have been fighting a war.</p> <p>We know, it sounds extreme, but ever since the beginning of this horrible ordeal, we have all been “under threat”. Never knowing what is going to happen next. Where the next “attack” will come from. </p> <p>It has felt <em>almost war-like</em> with measures taken by countries to mitigate the spread of the virus feeling like we are fighting an invisible enemy. The same one around the world. <em>Which we are.</em> </p> <p>But in this pursuit, it has affected livelihoods, confidence in our governments and our own sanity. And it’s made worse by the feeling that there is no real baseline for understanding what we are all going through right now and <em>how to best cope.</em></p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="stress-anxiety-and-fear-are-real-this-year"><strong><em>Stress, anxiety and fear are real this year</em></strong></h2> <p>As a result, we have (once again) picked up less healthy habits as a coping mechanism for our spiraling emotions. We have searched for “quick fix” comforts like eating poorly (mostly potato chips), binge-watching Netflix or Amazon Prime (Have you watched <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190634/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Boys</a> yet??) and isolating ourselves from friends and family. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/4-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3887"/></figure> <p>The very definition of an <em>act of self-preservation</em> which creates a feeling of distance and an over-whelming isolation from others. And this, in turn (ironically) results in feeling even more anxious.</p> <p>And you have to ask yourself, <em>is this really living?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="strategies-to-combat-the-stress-spiral"><strong><em>Strategies to combat the stress spiral</em></strong></h2> <p>When going through turmoil, it’s hard to know which way to turn. We understand that. </p> <p>But if there is anyone that can give us advice on how best to cope during this pandemic, it’s those that have themselves already experienced horrors and loss beyond most of our own comprehension. It’s people that survived the Holocaust that came out the other side with lessons learnt, experiences gained and psychology degrees that are perfectly poised to guide us. They survived because they found meaning and purpose despite the atrocities they faced. </p> <p>And we would venture to say that if they can survive the Holocaust, <em>we can get through anything….</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-man-s-search-for-meaning"><strong><em>Reducing stress – Man’s Search for Meaning</em></strong></h2> <p>Victor Emil Frankl (1905 – 1997) was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. He devoted his life to studying, understanding and promoting “meaning”, techniques he himself used during his horrific time in the concentration camps. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/5-1024x768.jpg" alt="Viktor Frankl | Man's Search For Meaning" class="wp-image-3888"/></figure> <p>In his book, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Man’s Search for Meaning</a>, Frankl described how he survived the Holocaust <strong><em>by finding personal meaning in the experience, giving him the will to live through it.</em></strong> He bases this on the following <a href="https://www.realtimeperformance.com/5-lessons-from-viktor-frankls-book-mans-search-for-meaning/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">five premises</a>:</p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-15 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong>We always retain the ability to choose our attitude</strong> – </strong><em><em>“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts, comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.“ </em></em>No matter what life throws at us, we will always retain our own inner-freedom to decide our own attitude, to remain true to our character and to our duties.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-16 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>There will be suffering but it’s how we react to the suffering that counts – </strong></strong></strong>one finds meaning in life in three ways. Through <em>work</em> (especially when that work is both creative in nature and aligned with a purpose greater than ourselves), through <em>love</em> (which often manifests itself in the service of others) and through <em>suffering</em> (which is fundamental to the human experience). The test then for all of us is how we respond to the <em>suffering in our lives</em>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-17 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong>The power of purpose</strong> – Frankl observed that those prisoners who survived, who found a way to endure, always had a greater purpose that carried them onward through difficult conditions. <em>“The prisoner who had lost faith in the future – his future – was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future he also lost his spiritual hold; he let himself decline and become subject to mental and physical decay”. </em>Frankl refers several times to the words of <a style="href="https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche/"" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Friedrich Nietzsche</a>:<em> “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. </em>It is finding our meaning, our greater purpose in life -despite the atrocities we face – that keep us alive and keep us going.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-18 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>The true test of our character is revealed in<em> how we act </em>– </strong></strong></strong><span style="font-size: revert;">Frankl came to the conclusion that there is <em>no general answer to the meaning of life</em>. Each person must answer the question for themselves. We find our own unique meaning based on our circumstances, our relationships and our experiences. Life is essentially testing us, and the answer is revealed in how we respond.</span></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-19 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong>Human Kindness can be found in the most surprising places</strong> – In his book, Frankl recalls a time when a guard, at great risk to himself, secretly gave him a piece of bread. <em>“It was far more than the small piece of bread which moved me to tears at the time. It was the human “something” that this man gave to me – the word and look which accompanied the gift. The mere knowledge that a man was either a camp guard or a prisoner tells us almost nothing. Human kindness can be found in all groups, even those which as a whole it would be easy to condemn”. </em>Frankl claims there are really only two types of people in the world – decent human beings and indecent human beings. Both can be found everywhere. They penetrate every group and every society.</p> </div> </div> <p>Frankl’s book and what he experienced emphasise the importance of finding and cultivating meaning in our daily lives, something that is core to (what Socrates called) <em>“a life well-lived.”</em> Frankl’s insights teach us that, <em>not only is there value in our search for meaning, but it’s the duty of each and every one of us to find that meaning for ourselves and pursue it.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-aiming-to-see-the-positive-in-everything"><strong><em>Reducing stress – Aiming to see the positive in everything</em></strong></h2> <p><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicagold/2020/09/15/5-tips-a-psychologist-and-holocaust-survivor-can-teach-us-about-surviving/?sh=1b8f63197260" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr. Edith Eger</a>, a Hungarian teenager in 1944 found herself in Auschwitz. Though her parents died in the gas chamber, her outlook kept both her sister and herself alive. After her liberation from the death camp, she went on to get her degree in psychology, mentored by Viktor Frankl. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/6-1024x768.jpg" alt="The Gift | 12 Lessons to Save Your Life" class="wp-image-3889"/></figure> <p>She lived through war, horror and abject fear. She saw the absolute worst side of man. As did Frankl. But she came out the other side not only with a degree but life lessons we can all take to heart, especially <em>as we learn to cope with our everyday stress and anxiety</em>:</p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-20 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>Live in the present, remembering lessons learned from the past –</strong></strong></strong> aim to live your life as much as you can in the present moment and not in the past. Don’t risk remaining “a prisoner” in your own home, a prisoner to your own life and to your own mindset. Avoid the <em>“should have”</em> and <em>“could have”</em> mentality and focus on the things you can do right now.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-21 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong>We can’t change what’s happening around us, but we can change our internal attitude – </strong></strong></strong></strong>create a world within yourself that no one can affect. Think of the dark times as being only temporary – <em>“this too shall pass”.</em> Shift expectations to realistic rather than idealistic i.e. <em>“2022 will be my year”</em> and instead find hope and positivity in the things that you can realistically accomplish.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-22 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Self-love is self-care – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>we are often nicer to our friends and family than we are to ourselves, seemingly believing that self-love and self-care is self-centered and selfish. But we believe (as does Eger) that self-love is critical to survival, especially during challenging times. Get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror with kindness and remind yourself that <em>you love you</em> too. Loving yourself is caring for yourself. So start your day with a positive affirmation and pursue your goals with a powerful purpose.<strong><strong><strong><strong> </strong></strong></strong></strong></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-23 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Everyone experiences grief differently – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>during this time, grief manifests in many ways. People are grieving the loss of school, planned events, sports, travel and general life experiences. Sure it may not be to the same extent as actual war or finding yourself in a death camp but with such a broad spectrum of loss, many experience guilt when they feel their grief is not equal to that of mourning the passing of a loved one or witnessing mass murder in gas chambers. Their grief does not deserve to be “grieved for” in the same way. But you cannot compare grief. You can’t compare situations either. Everyone grieves for their own personal losses in their own unique way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or what you are allowed to grieve for. And the truth of the matter is this – everyone’s loss will be worse at that point in time for them than anyone else’s grief. It’s all relative. So grieve what you need to grieve in a way that is right for you.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-24 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Look for the good amongst the negative – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>as hard as it is to understand, there actually <em>is</em> good in everything. We need to learn to look at our current situation in this light. No matter how bad it may seem. We need to decide how we are going to approach our experiences. How we are going to use our time – <em>complain and blame</em> or rather <em>recognise the good</em> in the situation and <em>regroup</em>? Decide on <em>“where to from here”</em> and make a plan to get there. <em>Hope is found within you</em> and not something you look for outside of yourself. It is the events that we endure that make us stronger, and in the end, <em>“it is not what happens, it is what we do with it.”</em></p> </div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-the-key-take-away"><strong><em>Reducing stress – The key take away</em></strong></h2> <p>We need to continually search for and find meaning and purpose in our everyday lives. And we do this by <em>looking within ourselves</em>. Remembering that it is our attitude and how we react to the experiences around us that will help us endure. </p> <p>Having optimism and looking for good in everything is key. We will all experience things differently (but our own experiences are still important) and we need to not only embrace our uniqueness but remember to practice self-love and self-care. Human kindness (and hope) can be found all around us. If only we look for it. </p> <p>Sure, it may seem like a tall order and <em>“easier said than done”</em> but both Frankl and Eger survived actual death camps with their outlooks. They overcame tragedy, loss, suffering and trauma beyond our imaginations because of their attitudes and how they approached their situation. 6 million Jews and about 5 million non-Jews were not as lucky. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/7-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3890"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="our-closing-thoughts"><strong><em>Our closing thoughts</em></strong></h2> <p>In these uncertain times, it is important to talk about how you are feeling. In fact, we strongly encourage it. “Going it alone”, being self-sufficient and independent is not necessarily a virtue. Not at the present moment with the world, our lives and our “Janu-worry” stress spiral in upheaval.</p> <p>Find a safe person or group of people that you can share your innermost feelings and concerns with—this could be a friend, a family member, a therapist (especially if you are not 100% certain where your anxiety stems from), a coach (like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/">Braving Boundaries</a>), or a safe online support group. Whoever or whatever it is, it’s crucial that you feel emotionally supported and encouraged. Not judged. </p> <p>We also believe that it is vital for you to leave self-judgment at the door. Don’t beat yourself up for going through a “Janu-worry” stress spiral. It does not make you weak. And you are not a bad or selfish person for <em>feeling your feels</em>. It’s not only understandable but expected. Rather focus your energies on escaping the spiral and digging yourself out of the slump. Being able to challenge your negative thoughts while at the same time being compassionate to yourself about what is happening is a good place to start. </p> <p>While it isn’t easy and often takes practice, you can put a stop to the “Janu-worry” stress spiral and start to look forward to the rest of the year, keeping Frankl and Eger’s words close to heart. <em>They knew what they were talking about.</em></p> <p>You got this! Trust us. </p> <p></p> <p>For further articles on stress management and the impact that stress has on your mental and physical health, check out the blog article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/"><em><strong>“Stressed out? Why holidays are a NECESSITY not a luxury”</strong></em></a>.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator aligncenter is-style-default"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-25 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2021 19:23:29 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[athletes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[high achievers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health advocate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental well being]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[olympics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sport stars]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sporting heroes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sporting legends]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sports stars]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3125</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Many people, sports stars and everyday people alike, experience mental health issues. But it’s what we choose to do about them that counts.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/">It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><em>It’s “Ok not to be Ok”. Honestly.</em></p> <p>Choice.</p> <p>Choice is a funny thing. It’s something we all have. </p> <p>We can choose who we love, we can choose how we worship. We can choose our sexual orientation. We can choose what political parties we follow and those we don’t. We can say no to the things we disagree with. And we can stand up for the things we do. We can get married, or not. Have children. Don’t have children. We can abort an unwanted pregnancy, or not – your body, your choice. We can choose to study or not. We can choose to live the way we want to. </p> <p><em>And we can choose how we feel and what to do about it.</em></p> <p>These are all choices we get to make every single day. </p> <p><em>But what if you were not happy with your choices?</em></p> <p>Take myself as an example. </p> <p>I am a qualified and admitted attorney. I completed an undergraduate B.Com Law degree and thereafter a post graduate LL.B degree. Definitely achievements to be proud of. To Be sure. And I <em>was.</em> </p> <p>I was proud to be called an Attorney or General Counsel or In-house counsel. <em>Whatever the title</em>. I was proud that I was given the opportunity to study when some people weren’t. I was proud that I could draft international contracts and win cases. I was proud of what I had achieved. <em>La-di-da.</em></p> <p>But I was also deeply unhappy. I suffered from anxiety, stress to the extreme, I felt inadequate and constantly felt like a failure. An imposter. My mental health really took a knock. And it was so hard to admit that. </p> <p>I wasn’t doing what I believed I should be doing. I felt like when it came down to it, I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live. I was just going through the motions. Even though I had been trained to be what I was and was operating at high levels.</p> <p>And I didn’t (yet) have the guts to say – <em>Stop. Enough. I don’t want this. I am unhappy. </em></p> <p>And I felt so alone in that.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3150"/></figure></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The truth is – you are not alone – poor mental health affects us all </h2> <p>Growing up we are all led to believe (whether it is through our families influence, TV, Magazines and now social media) that famous people are above it all. Immune to “<em>feeling all the feels”.</em> </p> <p>Like money, fame and success can make them immune to feeling inadequate, like feeling like a failure, like being anxious, unsure. Feeling not quite themselves. Feeling down or even being depressed.</p> <p>But it simply isn’t true. </p> <p>After all, even famous people are human.</p> <p>It’s funny, when I started writing this article, I wanted to discuss how athletes perform to these extremely high standards and how they are able to motivate themselves through the hard times. But it has turned into something more than that. </p> <p>And it started with the 2020 Tokyo Olympics which really did shine a spotlight on mental health issues. </p> <p><em>And the humanity of it all. </em></p> <p>The “real” of it all – behind all the camera flashes, TV interviews and million dollar endorsements.</p> <p>How, despite <em>“having the world at their feet</em>” even professional athletes trained to withstand immense pressure both in their professional and private lives <em>can fall. Can fail. And can feel it.</em></p> <p>It is surprising which of the people we look up to, mold ourselves after or wish we could be, have suffered through their own bouts of mental health issues. Have wanted things to stop. Or have wanted to change their circumstances. But they have come through it – not entirely unscathed – but they have made it through. <em>Because of the choices they made.</em></p> <p>And it is these people that outperform, that compete at high levels and to high standards (for a living), that put smiles on for the crowds and wave to their fans. It’s the people that win the gold medals, the people that set the records – or break them. <em>It is the people that admit they are suffering despite their fame and success,</em> that I want to talk about. </p> <p>Because maybe we can learn a thing or two from their experiences. Especially around the choices they decided to make. <em>Despite it all.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Mental health – Even our heroes cry</h2> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://www.vogue.com/article/how-have-other-leading-athletes-addressed-their-struggles-with-mental-health" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How Have Leading Athletes Addressed Their Struggles With Mental Health?</a>, the following was set out – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“The nonprofit </em><a href="https://www.athletesforhope.org/2019/05/mental-health-and-athletes/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Athletes for Hope</em></a><em> has estimated that 35% of professional athletes experience problems with their mental health, facing everything from eating disorders and burnout to depression and anxiety—but they’re not often discussed on the world’s largest stages, especially not by players at the top of their careers”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that is where we begin.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/simone-biles.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3128"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://live.staticflickr.com/8010/28302956634_d6900e6a70_b.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ginástica Artística – Final individual feminino – Simone Biles/EUA – Medalha de Ouro</a> by Danilo Borges /ME /Brasil2016. </figcaption></figure> <p>It is no surprise that during the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, <strong><em>Simone Biles</em></strong>, a four-time Olympic gold medalist, with 32 Olympic and world medals, made headlines when she <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-out-team-gymnastics-final-after-apparent-injury-n1275121" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">pulled out of the U.S. team gymnastics finals</a> – withdrawing from the team all-around, the individual all-around, the vault, floor exercise and uneven bar events. She stated that the emotional toll of the Tokyo Games, (and not her physical health) had taken its toll on her which prompted her withdrawal. </p> <p>Simone is widely considered to be the <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-prepares-compete-balance-beam-final-n1275766" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">world’s best gymnast</a> – at the young age of only 24 – <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-prepares-compete-balance-beam-final-n1275766" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tied for the most Olympic record medals won</a> by an American gymnast. </p> <p>She is arguably at the top of her game, <em>how could she be suffering from mental health issues?</em> </p> <p>But she is. And she walked away from one of the biggest athletic competitions in the world in order to focus on her own mental health. On her own terms. And with her head held high. She is not ashamed. <em>Nor should she be.</em> </p> <p>Experts have said that if the 2020 Tokyo Olympics was a measure for her future success and ability to compete – she may have missed her curtain call. But, at the very same time, she is leaving behind a legacy that transcends sports. And she has become a household name.</p> <p>Simone who is a survivor of the USA Gymnastics team’s former doctor, Larry Nassar’s abuse (he was accused of sexually assaulting more than 120 girls. He pleaded guilty to sexually abusing 10 minors in a Michigan court in 2018 and is serving up to 175 years in prison), is now able to speak out against sexual abuse, mental health issues and will represent the shift towards advocating for better safety and better treatment of athletes and coaches alike.</p> <p>And that’s a big deal! </p> <p><strong><em>But if you think Simone is the only athlete to experience mental health issues, you would be sorely mistaken</em></strong></p> <p>According to the article <a href="https://www.healthcentral.com/slideshow/famous-athletes-that-struggle-with-depression" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">10 Famous Athletes Who Struggle With Depression</a>, –</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>”AN </em><a href="https://www.ncaa.org/sport-science-institute/mind-body-and-sport-depression-and-anxiety-prevalence-student-athletes" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>NCAA survey</em></a><em> of athletes found that 30 percent reported feeling depressed over the course of a year. Why? Research from the </em><a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/setting-the-bar-athletes-and-vulnerability-to-mental-illness/E4A39433B58B9A44D821D7A9E2C2D04C" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Northern Ireland Association of Mental Health</em></a><em> suggests competitive failure and other factors can lead to psychological distress”.</em></p></blockquote> <p><em>Our heroes have been crying for a while now, we just didn’t notice. </em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Joe Marler</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Joe_Marler_10243050205-1024x695.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3129"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e3/Joe_Marler_%2810243050205%29.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Joe Marler</a> by Charlie. </figcaption></figure> <p>The Harlequins and England prop was the subject of a Sky Sports documentary <a href="https://www.skysports.com/rugby-union/news/12321/12303342/joe-marler-discusses-battle-with-depression-and-goes-on-journey-to-rebuild-his-mental-health-in-sky-sports-big-boys-dont-cry" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Big Boys Don’t Cry</a> in which he talked openly about learning to cope with his mental health issues and how he battled with mental health in his private life and during his time playing rugby on the international stage.</p> <p>He described how he opened up to his wife and close friends and sought to get help from them in order to better understand what was going on. He saw a psychiatrist, got an evaluation, had several sessions and was put on anti-depressants.</p> <p>He has said that – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“We are required to dominate and intimidate opposing players when we cross the white line on the pitch, we must show no weakness or vulnerability in order to win. But it doesn’t have to be like that off the pitch.”</em></p><cite>Joe Marler</cite></blockquote></figure> <p>Which is completely right. </p> <p>Through Big Boys Don’t Cry, Joe has travelled around the UK to open up the conversation around mental health challenges and meet people along the way who are learning to manage their mental wellbeing.</p> <p><em>Big boys can (and do) cry!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Michael Phelps</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Michael_Phelps_conquista_20a_medalha_de_ouro_e_e_ovacionado_1036422-09082016-_mg_7107-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3130"/><figcaption><a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/br/deed.en" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcommons.wikimedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFile%3AMichael_Phelps_conquista_20%25C2%25AA_medalha_de_ouro_e_%25C3%25A9_ovacionado_1036422-09082016-_mg_7107.jpg&psig=AOvVaw3VgSa8K4OMqWCplE1z67HT&ust=1629966413444000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjhxqFwoTCJCG_Njjy_ICFQAAAAAdAAAAABAy" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Michael Phelps</a> by Fernando Frazão/Agência Brasil.</figcaption></figure> <p>Winner of 28 Olympic medals, retired competitive swimmer Michael Phelps is considered to be <em>one</em> of the most successful and most decorated Olympians of all time. But at a conference held at <a href="https://www.thekennedyforum.org/livestream/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the Kennedy Forum</a> in 2018 he told a shocked audience that he had contemplated suicide. In a <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">CNN article</a> it was stated that during a discussion with political strategist <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/profiles/david-axelrod" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">David Axelrod</a>, Michael spoke openly about his battle against anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. He admitted to turning to alcohol (in 2004 Phelps was charged with driving under the influence) and drugs (in 2008 just weeks after he had won a record number of eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was photographed smoking marijuana). He admitted that – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Drugs were a way of running from “whatever it was I wanted to run from. It would be just me self-medicating myself, basically daily, to try to fix whatever it was that I was trying to run from.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>But he got help. </p> <p>And has now admitted that by talking about his feelings, <em>“life became easy.”</em></p> <p>He also admitted to something that a lot of us <em>may</em> be guilty of – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I was very good at compartmentalizing things and stuffing things away that I didn’t want to talk about, I didn’t want to deal with, I didn’t want to bring up — I just never ever wanted to see those things,”</em></p><cite>Michael Phelps</cite></blockquote> <p>Sound familiar?</p> <p>Lastly, he said one of the most important things that I think we can take away from <em>his</em> experience – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><strong><em>“It’s OK to not be OK”</em></strong><em> and that mental illness “has a stigma around it and that’s something we still deal with every day. </em><strong><em>I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change</em></strong><em>.”</em></p><cite>Michael Phelps</cite></blockquote></figure> <p>Today, he is making a difference by helping others through the <a href="https://michaelphelpsfoundation.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Michael Phelps Foundation</a> and the <a href="https://www.bgca.org/about-us/our-partners/michael-phelps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Boys and Girls Clubs of America</a>. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Naomi Osaka</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1023" height="659" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/naomi-osaka.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3135"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49384180057_963de57e09_b.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Naomi Osaka</a> by Rob Prange. </figcaption></figure> <p>Beating Serena Williams in the 2018 U.S Open Final, 23 year old Naomi has been unveiled by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/brettknight/2021/06/02/naomi-osaka-is-the-highest-paid-female-athlete-ever-and-her-french-open-exit-may-actually-help-her/?sh=8de09591ef8b" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes</a> as the world’s highest-paid sportswoman, making $60 million (with $55 million coming from endorsements) in the past 12 months alone. </p> <p>It is the <a href="https://www.news.com.au/sport/sports-life/champions/naomi-osaka-is-highest-paid-female-athlete-in-history/news-story/e12cc80d12d7febff0d93154990ff6e2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">largest number earned by a woman in history</a>, shattering the single-year earning mark of $45.5 million set by Maria Sharapova in 2015. Naomi has many lucrative deals under her belt with the likes of Nike and Nissan, amongst a host of others. </p> <p>Everyone knows her name. She is well and truly on top of her game. And coining it. </p> <p><em>But is she really?</em></p> <p>Naomi came under fire when she <a href="https://www.self.com/story/naomi-osaka-wont-do-interviews-french-open" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">announced that she would not take part in press interviews</a> whilst at the 2021 French Open resulting in a fine of $15,000 from the tournament’s authorities – which she had hoped would <em>“go towards a mental health charity.”</em></p> <p>In a statement posted on Twitter and Instagram, Naomi said that – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I’ve often felt that people have no regard for athletes’ mental health and this rings very true whenever I see a press conference or partake in one.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>She later went on to withdraw from the tournament altogether citing anxiety and wanting to exercise self-care. She needed time to focus on her mental health. </p> <p>Whilst she suffered a harsh fine due to not abiding by her media obligations, <a href="https://www.rolandgarros.com/en-us/article/statement-from-grand-slam-tournaments-regarding-naomi-osaka" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the Roland Garros authorities warned</a> that if Osaka continued to “ignore her media obligations,” she could incur more violations and risk more extreme fines and even suspensions from further Grand Slam tournaments. They were later <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/tennis-world-condemns-naomi-osaka-treatment-after-she-withdraws-from-french-open/BPW2YIM5LN5BCCPQUSW3SJALEY/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">lambasted for how she was treated</a>.</p> <p>Prominent athletes and celebrities rallied around Naomi with messages of care and support. With Venus Williams even commenting – <em>“So proud of you. Take care of yourself and see you back winning soon.”</em></p> <p>And a truly meaningful message coming from tennis icon Martina Navratilova who tweeted – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I am so sad about Naomi Osaka. I truly hope she will be OK. As athletes we are taught to take care of our body, and perhaps the mental & emotional aspect gets short shrift”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that’s really the point. </p> <p>People (famous or not) constantly focus on their physical health and wellbeing. As if that’s all that makes up a human being. But there should be more attention on the mental health of society as well. </p> <p><em>Mental health issues are not just a trend. And they should not just be paid lip service. Real action needs to be taken. </em></p> <p>By all of us.</p> <p>In an essay titled Naomi Osaka: ‘It’s O.K. Not to Be O.K.’ in <a href="https://time.com/6077128/naomi-osaka-essay-tokyo-olympics/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Time magazine</a>, Naomi said this – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Life is a journey.</em></p><p><em>In the past few weeks, my journey took an unexpected path but one that has taught me so much and helped me grow. I learned a couple of key lessons.</em></p><p><em>Lesson one: you can never please everyone. The world is as divided now as I can remember in my short 23 years. Issues that are so obvious to me at face value, like wearing a mask in a pandemic or kneeling to show support for anti-racism, are ferociously contested. I mean, wow. So, when I said I needed to miss French Open press conferences to take care of myself mentally, I should have been prepared for what unfolded.</em></p><p><em>Lesson two was perhaps more enriching. It has become apparent to me that literally everyone either suffers from issues related to their mental health or knows someone who does. The number of messages I received from such a vast cross section of people confirms that. </em><strong><em>I think we can almost universally agree that each of us is a human being and subject to feelings and emotions</em></strong><em>.</em></p><p><em>Perhaps we should give athletes the right to take a mental break from media scrutiny on a rare occasion without being subject to strict sanctions”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And those are profound lessons for someone of her tender age. </p> <p>Naomi thanks Michael Phelps for his support stating – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><strong><em>“Michael Phelps told me that by speaking up I may have saved a life. If that’s true, then it was all worth it.”</em></strong></p></blockquote> <p>Naomi later withdrew from Wimbledon as well. </p> <p>Whilst she competed in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she did not perform as expected (or as she had hoped) being knocked out of the women’s singles tennis by Marketa Vondrousova of the Czech Republic.</p> <p>Naomi merely said that <em>it sucked to lose</em>. Which it undoubtedly did. </p> <p><em>We hear you and we get it!</em></p> <p>But Naomi’s move to withdraw from interviews and international tournaments has <a href="https://www.iol.co.za/sport/olympics/athletes-like-simone-biles-ought-to-be-applauded-for-speaking-out-on-mental-illness-6085849b-d439-463e-9f8f-bff82622f32f" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sp</a>arked talks worldwide around mental health – people are being made more aware of the fact that mental health issues do actually exist, that it is not something to be ashamed of and that professional athletes suffer from mental health issues too. Which is an important thing!</p> <p>Naomi’s advocacy for mental health for professional athletes will enable her to encourage others to take their mental health seriously and will help change the industry. For the better. </p> <p><em>And hopefully, influence wider society whilst she is at it.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/2-Small-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3152"/></figure></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">See? Poor mental health affects us all – It’s not just you!</h2> <p>As you can see – <em>even the mighty fall</em>. </p> <p>Whilst it may feel like it sometimes, you are not alone. </p> <p>Many people, famous and everyday people alike, experience mental health issues. But <em>it’s what we choose to do about them that counts.</em></p> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/brain-health/a-game-changer-for-mental-health-sports-icons-open-up" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A game-changer for mental health: Sports icons open up</a>, they said – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“They had the world’s spotlight shining on them.</em></p><p><em>They had trained for years for this moment.</em></p><p><em>Millions of fans waited to watch them compete and see them hoist a trophy or a gold medal once again.</em></p><p><strong><em>Instead, they used that spotlight to say something few world-famous athletes have ever dared to say out loud: I need to step away from this competition and focus on my mental health.</em></strong></p><p><em>And by doing so, gymnast Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka, basketball player Kevin Love and a handful of others at the pinnacle of their athletic careers </em><strong><em>have helped accelerate a trend that mental health experts at the University of Michigan say is long overdue</em></strong><em>.</em></p><p><em>By being open about what they were experiencing, and not “toughing it out” or stifling their feelings like generations of athletes have had to do, these icons did more than spare themselves injury or defeat.</em></p><p><em>Their public choice to seek help for depression, anxiety, overwhelming stress and other concerns could help athletes at all levels have the courage to seek professional help, and a break from competition if they need it.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that is exactly the point – these athletes made a choice. One that benefitted their own safety, their own mental health and their own well-being. And for those that look up to them, it will hopefully educate and encourage society to speak more openly about their own mental health issues. </p> <p>Times are clearly changing. For professional athletes at the top of their games (earning millions), in the midst of worldwide competitions, to stop and also say – <em>Enough. I don’t want this. I am unhappy</em>. Despite fines, loss of earnings or endorsements – speaks volumes. </p> <p>It shows that no one is immune. And that regardless of your position, you have a choice to stand up for yourself, to change your circumstances, to say no, to act in your own best interests, to say enough is enough, to admit that you have a problem. And most importantly, to ask for help. </p> <p>Even when you are a famous sportsperson, even when you are a famous actor, like <a href="https://www.self.com/story/kit-harington-depression-addiction" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Kit Harington</a> (as only one isolated example). </p> <p><em>Even when you are at the top of your game.</em></p> <p>You have choice. Don’t tough it out. Don’t suffer in silence. </p> <p>And know that you can change your situation for the better. </p> <p>As Michael Phelps tweeted – <em>“getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness”.</em></p> <p><em>And isn’t it about time?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">How you can get help if you’re struggling with poor mental health</h2> <p>Remember, poor mental health can transpire in many forms. From feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed, to feelings of low self-worth, burnout and suicide. Whatever you are experiencing, there is help out there for you. </p> <p>For help with navigating stress and overwhelm , <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">contact Frieda Levycky of Braving Boundaries</a> who will provide the support and guidance you need to bring clarity to the chaos.</p> <p>If you’re thinking about suicide, hurting yourself or struggling with depression, you can get support by calling –</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>LifeLine SA on 0861 322 322 </li><li>Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 12 13 14</li><li>South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 567 657</li></ul> <p>If you’re struggling with drug use or addiction, or know someone who is, you can call Houghton House’s 24/7 emergency helpline on 079 770 7532.</p> <p>Or visit <a href="https://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/drug-alcohol-and-addiction-helplines-south-africa/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/drug-alcohol-and-addiction-helplines-south-africa/</a> to get referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organisations.</p> <p>This is not about rewinding time to go back in order to make different decisions. No. This is about dealing with the ones you’ve already made. It is about admitting that you are experiencing a problem, it is about saying no to the things you cannot do anymore. And most importantly – it is about asking for help. </p> <p>Remember – <a href="https://theathletic.com/news/michael-phelps-on-simone-biles-mental-health-its-ok-to-not-be-ok/nVaL238ANGo7" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK”.</em></a></p> <p>But you also need to choose to do something about it. </p> <p>If I, Michael, Simone and Naomi can do it. So can you. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Basic-Balance-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3149"/></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-default"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-26 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/">It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2021 19:09:10 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivated]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[extrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling inspired]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your groove]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[intrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lacking motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate me]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[negative motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[online challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3026</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved. […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved.</p> <p>So, the last 18 months have come as a bit of a shock. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated1-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3034"/></figure> <p>When lockdown hit and South Africa was thrown into a 6-week complete shutdown (we were only capable of leaving the house for shopping or a medical visit), my body gradually shut down too. </p> <p>Week 1 commenced by running around the house 20 times a day, a 45 minute cycle on the indoor bike whilst watching Top Gun; and an hour Tae Bo session with Billy Blanks dressed in 80’s garb. But the motivation rapidly dwindled.</p> <p>I had assumed that once the mountain re-opened, I would be back out on the Cape Town trails. Motivation fully resumed (after all – I had put on a couple of lockdown pounds). I did get back out there – sporadically. And loved it when I did. But I struggled to regain any form of consistency. </p> <p><em>What the heck was going on? This just wasn’t like me! The things that used to motivate me: staying slim; being the best; achieving the impossible – just weren’t incentivizing me anymore!</em></p> <p><strong><em>I know that I’m not alone in this demotivation journey. </em></strong></p> <p>But whether you are struggling to get out of bed in the morning; to find motivation to complete work tasks; to exercise or stick to healthy eating plans – that lack of motivation is adding an extra layer of stress to what is already an uncertain and anxiety-fueled world at present.</p> <p>So, I thought I’d write this article to share my realisations around my personal motivations over the last couple of months; and set out some new methods I’m testing to motivate myself to get back into exercise. Hopefully it will provide some food for thought with your own motivation struggles.</p> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>My worries around exploring the topic of motivation</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3035"/></figure> <p>I’m going to preface this article by saying that I was reluctant to look into my lack of motivation for fear of confirming a long-term belief I’ve held about success, drive and motivation. For years, I’ve believed that in order to be successful, you have to be driven by fear and/or pain. I’ll use myself as an example:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 1</strong></h3> <p>Back when I was a teenager, a close family friend stopped speaking to me for three years. It was a difficult time. Emotions were heightened. Feelings were not discussed. And silly things were said out of pain and guilt. One of the last things said to me before the hiatus was that I wasn’t good enough to be a lawyer or to go to Harvard. </p> <p>As a result, although subconsciously, I spent the next 15 years constantly striving; working hard; stretching myself to be the best I possibly could in my career to prove them wrong. By the time our differences were resolved, that negative motivation was firmly entrenched. It drove me up the career ladder at full speed: achieving Senior Associate after 4 years of practice; Head of Global Mergers & Acquisitions by 34; General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 2</strong></h3> <p>I grew up in the 80s/90s where the perverse notion that every woman needed to be a Size 0 or Size 00 was flaunted through every form of media. If you weren’t skeletal, then you were not attractive. The horror of being anything larger than a UK Size 10 was just not acceptable in society. You were a failure. Media in the 90’s certainly did women’s self-esteem a world of good! </p> <p>Once again, negatively motivated, I became obsessed with food and exercise. I ate like a mouse throughout university to try and control my weight – much to the horror of my poor housemate. I tried every faddy diet under the sun; from Atkins to the South Beach Diet to some weird concoction of cayenne pepper, lemon juice and maple syrup! </p> <p>As I stumbled through my 20s, my obsession with food was replaced by exercise. I trained for at least an hour every single day; if not twice a day. Running off the calories that I’d consumed. Woe betide I missed a day of exercise – the negative self-talk banshee would be there in full force. </p> <p>My most extreme was when I was a trainee solicitor living in Hong Kong. For those of you who have ever done a stint in Hong Kong, you’ll understand the concept of the “<em>Hong Kong Stone</em>”. Hong Kong is a city that never sleeps. As trainees / young associates we worked hard and we played even harder. Countless nights did we leave Jardine House at midnight; begin our walk home up the escalators to Mid-Levels and undoubtedly bump into someone we knew – which resulted in a detour to Lan Kwai Fong. For 8 months I survived on about 3 hours of sleep a night; a lot of alcohol and early morning breakfasts at the <em>Flying Pan</em>. It was certainly the most unhealthy lifestyle I’ve lived. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/hong-kong-skyline-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3063"/></figure> <p>But, the fear of the Hong Kong Stone – the fear of not being attractive – motivated me every day to be at Pure Fitness at 6am. I spent an hour sweating on the cross trainer or running machine (clocking off season after season of the OC and One Tree Hill) before heading to the office for another long stint. And it worked: my abs were rock hard and into those skinny Size 8 jeans I slipped. The negative motivation once again worked.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Can you be successful without negative motivation?</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3038"/></figure> <p>So, fast-forward to 2020 – a time where I have:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>worked through all my historical traumas</li><li>worked on my self-confidence</li><li>become a lot kinder to myself</li><li>placed less emphasis on the way I look</li><li>developed a happy and loving relationship</li><li>created and started to live the lifestyle I love and want</li></ul> <p>I realized that I am no longer fueled by fear and negativity. And there rose the fear / resistance to look into this. What if my theory that you can only be successful if driven by fear/pain was true? Where does that leave me? How could I motivate myself if I was no longer in pain?</p> <p>So, let’s take a look at what motivation is and how it can transpire in our day to day lives.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What is motivation?</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3036"/></figure> <p>Motivation is “<em>the reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way</em>” (Oxford English Dictionary). </p> <p>In other words, motivation is why we do what we do. It’s our underlying driver, our reason, our purpose for taking action and behaving the way we do. It also explains why different people are motivated by different things.</p> <p>Motivation falls into two main categories: <strong>Intrinsic motivation </strong>and<strong> extrinsic motivation</strong>, and both of those types can be expressed in a positive way (<em>reward</em>) or a negative way (<em>punishment</em>).</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Intrinsic motivation</strong> </h3> <p>Intrinsic motivation refers to behaviour that is driven by internal rewards. In other words, you do it because you gain personal joy and satisfaction from the activity rather than doing it because you are influenced by an external factor.</p> <p>An example of intrinsic motivation would be reading a book because you love escaping to a different world through literature. Whereas having to read a book in order to pass your Trusts exam would be an external influence. Granted – if you loved learning Trust law then this would constitute intrinsic motivation – but, for me – aie, aie aie! – I was glad to get those books off to the charity shop!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Extrinsic motivation</strong> </h3> <p>Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, refers to behaviour driven by an external factor. This could be in the form of an external reward (i.e. I get something from someone else as a result of completing the activity) or an external punishment (i.e. I avoid something as a result of completing the activity).</p> <p>A few examples of extrinsic motivation are as follows:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If I work hard, I’ll get a promotion / salary increase from my company (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I use my American Express card, I’ll get frequent flyer miles (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I comply with my fiduciary duties as a director, I won’t get fired or put in jail (<em>punishment</em>).</li><li>If I clean up the house, my flat mate won’t get mad and yell at me for being untidy (<em>punishment</em>).</li></ul> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Positive and negative motivation</strong></h2> <p>As you can see from the examples given above, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation can be expressed both in a positive or negative way. </p> <p>Using the desire / need to get back into exercise as an example, the diagram below highlights some possible intrinsic and extrinsic motivations which could trigger action. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Motivation-diagram-1024x1024.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3028"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Which style of motivation is better?</strong></h2> <p>Each style of motivation has the ability to move a person forward, but it is questionable whether extrinsic and negative motivation is sustainable.</p> <p>The “carrot and stick” approach – i.e. dangling rewards (such as the promise of a pay rise) or the threat of punishment (such as the fear of being fired) may increase motivation short-term, but eventually the influence of that motivation will wear off. For example, you’ll see in the corporate context, unless intrinsically motivated, staff will choose to leave unhealthy work situations even if there are prospects of a promotion or pay rise.</p> <p>And when it comes to intrinsic motivation, although negative intrinsic motivation may be an effective source of motivation, it is evident that it has detrimental consequences on an individual’s mental health: their self-confidence, self-worth and their value. </p> <p>Looking back on the two scenarios I highlighted at the beginning of this article, it’s clear that negative extrinsic motivation and negative intrinsic motivation fueled my own action, in so many aspects of my life. Especially when I was younger. It also had the effect of highlighting the fact that negative motivation and extrinsic motivation (whether positive or negative) are not sustainable forms of motivation in the long term. </p> <p>Unless our motivation is aligned with our personal values & beliefs, and there is a true internal benefit to us in performing the actions necessary – creating long-term, sustainable habits and practices and achieving long-term goals is always going to feel out of reach. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Finding some healthy and positive intrinsic motivation</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/motivation-quote-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3069"/></figure> <p>With all this research at my fingertips, I’ve decided to try and incentivize myself back into a consistent exercise routine from a stance of positive intrinsic motivation.</p> <p>As you can imagine, there are a variety of tools and techniques that can be found dotted around the internet suggesting ways in which to develop positive intrinsic motivation.</p> <p>I’d be a fraud if I were to tell you how to do it. Considering I’ve never tested it out for myself. So, instead I’ve pulled together various elements of the research I found to form the backbone of my experiment:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-27 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Set a challenge which is not too easy and not too hard</strong></strong></p> <p>The theory is that a challenge is a good incentive to move you into action. But – you don’t want the challenge to be too easy – you’ll get bored; nor too hard – you’ll get disillusioned (<em>The Goldilocks Rule – a challenge that is “Just right”</em>).</p> <p>So, with my 40<sup>th</sup> birthday looming just around the corner, I’ve decided to undertake a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August. I will finish (all going according to plan) the day before my birthday.</p> <p>This challenge for me is a stretch. But it is also something I know I am capable of as I have completed a 40-day challenge before! Granted, it was 12 years ago!</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-28 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Understand the positive internal benefits of taking on this challenge:</strong></strong></p> <p>I’ve worked through a number of questions (see worksheet attached) to really tap into why I want to get back into yoga, the benefits it will bring to me, and the saboteur tendencies that are likely to try and derail me.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-29 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Journal</strong></strong></p> <p>I’m certain that this challenge is going to be far from easy. But to keep track of my progress, I’ve committed to keep myself accountable by documenting this journey in my journal. </p> </div> </div> <p></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Will I re-find my yoga mojo? </em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3039"/></figure> <p>I honestly don’t know. I’ve never consciously motivated myself this way before. But, I’ll keep you updated on social media over the next 40 days. So, stay tuned!</p> <p>If you are in need of some motivation to kickstart a lifestyle change or reach a goal, and you’d like to join me on the “Motivate Me” challenge – by all means do so. </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Identify your 40-day goal / challenge</li><li>Determine your intrinsic motivation (download the worksheet below)</li><li>Grab yourself a journal and be ready to note down your daily progress.</li></ul> <p><em>We’re all in this together. </em></p> <p>I can honestly admit, hand-on-heart, that I don’t have the answers. But I’ll tell you one thing – I’m prepared to try something new!</p> <p>After all: <em>“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”</em> – Thomas Jefferson.</p> <p>Success motivated from a place of happiness – well, who wouldn’t want that!</p> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Building resilience</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/building-resilience/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/building-resilience/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 11 Jul 2020 10:45:34 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Perfectionism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a balanced life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfectionism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfectionist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfectionistic behaviour]]></category> <category><![CDATA[progress over perfection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[success mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workaholic]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workaholism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=1533</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>In a world where perfection is still promoted, learn to build resilience.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/building-resilience/">Building resilience</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>I hate this question in an interview. Why? </p> <p>Because:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>the question is disingenuous</strong> – if they wanted to know my greatest weakness, I would tell them it was my right knee from over-running;</li><li><strong>no one gives an honest answer</strong> – there are articles galore on how to respond to this question in a way that pivots an alleged weakness into a strength; and</li><li><strong>it associates weakness with characteristics / behaviours that are not weak</strong>.</li></ul> <p>I’m hardly going to say: <strong><em>“I’m not very functional when I don’t have enough sleep”</em></strong>. Although true, that isn’t going to land me a job in the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> that expects so much of my time.</p> <p>Is being dysfunctional after 24 hours in the office a weakness? <em><strong>Absolutely not!</strong> </em>Is it considered weak in the legal world? Unfortunately, yes. Why would we need to reframe things otherwise?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/perfectionism-tired.jpg" alt="perfection at work"/></figure> <p>Perfectionism – whether expressed or not – is still promoted in the legal world.</p> <p>Think of all the superlatives: <strong><em>the best, the biggest, the most accessible</em></strong> etc. Ideals and standards that are then adopted by lawyers. I must be available 24/7; I must be seen to be working hard. I must… I must … I must…</p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="is-it-any-surprise-that-so-many-lawyers-become-perfectionists"><strong><em>Is it any surprise that so many lawyers become perfectionists?</em></strong></h3> <p>So, having spent the week looking at the dangers of perfectionism, <em><strong>how do you stay resilient in a world that promotes perfection?</strong></em></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-30 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Stay healthy</strong> – Build hydration, good nutrition, sleep and exercise into your life to reduce the impact of stress on your physical and mental health.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-31 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Nurture your tribe</strong> – They keep your grounded, supported and in touch with the real world.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-32 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Have this mantra on repeat: “<em>You don’t have to be perfect to be successful</em>”: </strong>Our flaws, our differences, our quirks are what make us unique. It is in our differences that we find success.</p> </div> </div> <p><em>Tell me, what do you do to build your resilience in the legal world?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="if-you-are-struggling-with-perfectionism"><strong>If you are struggling with perfectionism</strong></h2> <p>If perfectionism is something with which you struggle and which is causing uncomfortable levels of stress for you, please know that these behaviour patterns can be changed. It takes time and effort – but it is achievable. And life is a lot less stressful on the other side.</p> <p>Through coaching, we can address the underlying fears and insecurities which the perfectionistic behaviour is masking. Together, we can identify ways to reduce the self-criticism and increase your self-esteem, so that you can be confident in who you are, in everything you do and in how you are seen in the world.</p> <p><strong><em>You are enough!</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p class="has-text-align-center"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 854px) 100vw, 854px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-854x1024.jpg 854w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-250x300.jpg 250w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-768x921.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-417x500.jpg 417w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-667x800.jpg 667w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-1067x1280.jpg 1067w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-1080x1295.jpg 1080w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-980x1175.jpg 980w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-480x576.jpg 480w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2.jpg 1138w" width="854" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/2-854x1024.jpg" alt="Frieda Levycky - Life coach for lawyers"><br><a role="button" href="https://calendly.com/bravingboundaries/discovery-call-30-mins"><br>Book a free Discovery Session</a><br><a role="button" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><br>Drop me a quick message<br></a><br><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-1024x311-1.jpg 1024w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-300x91-1.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-768x233-1.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-500x152.png 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-800x243.png 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-1280x389-1.jpg 1280w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-1080x328-1.jpg 1080w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-980x298-1.jpg 980w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-480x146-1.jpg 480w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner.jpg 1400w" width="1024" height="311" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Braving-Boundaries-banner-1024x311-1.jpg" alt="Lawyer coaching"></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-horizontal is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-3 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-text-color has-background" href="" style="background-color:#27281d" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/ noopener">BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL</a></div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/building-resilience/">Building resilience</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/building-resilience/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>