<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>stress awareness Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/stress-awareness/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/stress-awareness/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2025 14:34:08 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>stress awareness Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/stress-awareness/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Beating Procrastination (Part 1): Getting to grips with why we procrastinate</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/beating-procrastination-part-1/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/beating-procrastination-part-1/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jun 2022 06:37:43 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Perfectionism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Procrastination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accountants]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business men]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of being controlled]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of intimacy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of separation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fitness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[procrastinating]]></category> <category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[productivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relax]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relaxation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time off]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Procrastination: The bane of my life and for many others. But what is procrastination and why do we do it?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/beating-procrastination-part-1/">Beating Procrastination (Part 1): Getting to grips with why we procrastinate</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>I’m not fat. But I’m not fit.</strong></p> <p>Well, not in the way that I used to be.</p> <p>It’s that time of year again where a number of running photos pop up on Facebook, highlighting the various races I’ve run over the years. In 2015, I was training to summit the Matterhorn. In 2016, it was the Verbier-St Bernard 65km Traverse. And in 2019 it was “The Beast” (the 30km ‘baby’ race!) and the Whale Trail (53km, 25km of which comprised endless stretches of beach)! Ugh! Never again!</p> <p>I was fit! Very fit! Even if I hadn’t quite grasped that at the time.</p> <p>And then lockdown commenced and my motivation to run utterly dissipated.</p> <p>Last year, as I prepared to turn 40, I wrote an article called: <strong><em><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">“Motivate Me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!”</a></em></strong>. The article explored the different types of motivation that encourage or force us to take action. It also gave me (and 35 of my followers who decided to join in with me) the opportunity to test out a new approach to tackling my/our goals. I loved the challenge and it worked! I committed to 40 days of yoga to kickstart a return to my practice and I’m pleased to report that I’m still practising a year on.</p> <p>But motivation isn’t my current issue. I want to get fitter. I feel better when I’m fitter. And, I have the perfect excuse to get fit too. Our wedding is next April and hey, who doesn’t want to look their best in their wedding dress?</p> <p>So, what is it that is currently holding me back?</p> <p>That darned thing called: <strong>PROCRASTINATION!</strong></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/picture-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4412"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-m-so-stressed-holidays-are-a-luxury-not-a-necessity"><strong>What is procrastination?</strong></h2> <p>Before we get into the nitty gritty of the definitions, just see if you recognise any of these situations:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>Scenario A:</strong> Your alarm goes off for the gym in the morning: “<em>Oh just 15 more minutes in bed. It’s so cold outside. And, well, I didn’t sleep very well last night</em>.” Before you know it, 15 minutes has turned to 30 minutes and the window for the gym session has gone.</li><li><strong>Scenario B:</strong> You’ve a complicated contract to review and the deadline is two weeks away. You leave it until the last minute. Twenty things pile in during the last week, and then there is a mad dash to get it done.</li><li><strong>Scenario C:</strong> You’ve set yourself a target to bring in more clients by the end of June. You know the best way is to make direct contact, but instead you spend the next few weeks perfecting marketing materials, writing lists of people you’d like to speak to, researching companies, but don’t make any contact.</li></ul> <p>Well, they are certainly all familiar situations to me. But, then again, I’m a prime example of a procrastinator!</p> <p>As these situations highlight, procrastination is <strong><a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/procrastinate"><em>“the act of delaying or putting off tasks intentionally and habitually”</em></a> </strong>[1]. What’s worse is that this behaviour sometimes occurs: <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-psychology-of-procrastination-2795944"><em><strong>even when negative consequences may result from the procrastination</strong></em></a> [2].</p> <p>If we look at the Latin meaning of the word, it provides even more clarity. “<em><strong>Pro</strong></em>” meaning forward; and “<em><strong>crastinus</strong></em>” meaning belonging to tomorrow, results in a combined definition of “<em><strong>forward it to tomorrow</strong></em>”. In other words, “<em><strong>do it later</strong></em>”! [3]</p> <p>Let’s re-look at the examples above:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>In Scenario A</strong>, the intention of going to the gym to get fit is defeated by staying in bed. The consequences of continued procrastination are potentially weight gain, health issues and low self-esteem.</li><li><strong>In Scenario B</strong>, the goal is to review and amend the contract and deliver within two weeks. By leaving it to the last minute, there are potential consequences of non-delivery (and an angry client) or a highly stressed 24-hours trying to deliver by the deadline. Neither of which are particularly helpful to your health or your business. And before you say: “<em>But, I work at my best when I’m under pressure</em>” – it doesn’t mean you’re not procrastinating.</li><li><strong>In Scenario C</strong>, the goal is to bring in new clients – after all, they pay the bills and grow the business. By distracting yourself with other work rather than reaching out and making contact, procrastination in this instance could result in your business folding before it’s even had a chance to flourish.</li></ul> <p>The above are just a few examples of procrastination played out in the real world. But despite knowing the potential for detrimental consequences, why do we continue to procrastinate?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/picture-2-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4413"/></figure> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-experience-how-a-proper-holiday-shifts-the-stress-perspective"><strong>Why we procrastinate</strong></h2> <p>In their book: <strong><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-About/dp/0738211702">“<em>Procrastination: Why you do it. What to do about it NOW.</em>”</a></strong>, Burka & Yuen (2008) highlight four “roots” to procrastination (some or all of which may be present):</p> <ol class="wp-block-list" type="1"><li>The <strong>Time Root</strong>: This relates to a procrastinator’s complex relationship with time and the difficulty they have with conceptualising how long a task will take. As a result, tasks are often delayed.</li><li>The <strong>Interpersonal Root</strong>: Our upbringing, our socio-economic settings and our culture can also influence our levels of procrastination. If procrastination has been evidenced in our childhood, it may well be behaviour carried into adulthood.</li><li>The <strong>Biological Root</strong>: This really is explained by the continuing struggle between two parts of our brain: the limbic system (the part of our brain involved in emotional and behavioural responses, including our flight, fight or freeze responses) and the prefrontal cortex (the area of our brain utilised in planning complex cognitive behaviour and decision making). As the limbic system is a stronger, older and more developed part of our brain, it often overpowers the prefrontal cortex. As a result, automatic fear responses kick in when faced with certain situations and procrastination ensues [4]. </li><li>The <strong>Emotional Root</strong>: The final root of procrastination lies in the desire to avoid uncomfortable feelings, fears, hopes, doubts, memories, dreams and pressures [5]. Perhaps we avoid doing certain tasks because we don’t think we’ll enjoy them? Perhaps it’s because we believe we can’t do them well? Perhaps it’s because we fear that we’ll do them so well that, in turn, it will increase the demands on our life? So, we push them out until the last minute – if we get to them at all. We’ll explore the emotional root in a little more detail below.</li></ol> <p>James Clear, in his article: <strong><em>“<a href="https://jamesclear.com/procrastination">Procrastination: A Scientific Guide on How to Stop Procrastinating”</a></em></strong> [6] highlights an additional behavioural psychology approach to procrastination which also relates to time. He argues that procrastination stems from “time inconsistency”. Our brains value immediate rewards more than they do future rewards.</p> <p>So, taking Scenario B above – you have 2 weeks to complete that complicated contract review. The future goal is obviously to complete it. The benefit to your Future Self of completing it is praise from your clients and your boss, and that great feeling of a job well done. But that’s two weeks away. Who wants to wait for two weeks if there is something that you could do <strong>now</strong> that would give you that “feel great” feeling? As James Clear says: <em>“Your Present Self really likes instant gratification, not long-term payoff”</em>. So, instead, you distract yourself with the easier and quicker things on your to do list to get that instant fix. Ha! And you wonder why those prioritisation lists don’t always work!</p> <p></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/PROCRASTINATION-3-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4414"/><figcaption> Burka & Yuen (2008): <strong><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-About/dp/0738211702">“<em>Procrastination: Why you do it. What to do about it NOW.</em>”</a></strong></figcaption></figure> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-m-so-stressed-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury"><strong>The emotional side of procrastination</strong></h2> <p>Although there are a number of “roots” of procrastination, for me, the time, interpersonal and biological roots feel easier to digest. They feel less personal. They are things that have happened to me (over which I had no control) rather than something to which I might have contributed.</p> <p>I’ll be honest, as I deepened my research into the emotional root of procrastination over the weekend, I had to take a pause. I stepped away from the article and avoided it for a couple of days, distracting myself with a trip to my friend’s and the preparation of our weekly family pub quiz. There you go, procrastination in its prime!</p> <p>The emotional side, for some reason, felt deeply uncomfortable. It forced me to question and consider the underlying motivations for my own procrastination and the potential impact it has had and could have on my life. What had procrastination stopped me from achieving? Was I really operating at my full potential? Was I using procrastination to my own detriment? Was I procrastinating or setting boundaries? Is all procrastination bad?</p> <p>Needless to say, it was a confusing weekend and I’m grateful for my friends and other half who helped me process my thoughts and the research!</p> <p>So here is a high-level summary of the four underlying motivations of emotional procrastination identified by Burka & Yuen (2008) in their book: <strong><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-About/dp/0738211702">“<em>Procrastination: Why you do it. What to do about it NOW.</em>”</a></strong>. See if any (or, in my case, how many) of these resonate:</p> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>(a) Procrastination: Because of the fear of failure</strong></h3> <p>This rationale for procrastinating may be the most recognisable. Often, people delay tackling a task out of fear of failing at it. That failure could come in the form of being seen as “not good enough”, “not capable enough”, simply “not enough”. But rather than limiting the failure to an inability to be able to perform a task to a specific standard, people struggling with this type of procrastination view these failures as a failure of themselves as a person (Burka & Yuen, 2008). In other words, it directly impacts their self-worth.</p> <p>Dr. Richard Beery identifies a direct correlation between <strong>PERFORMANCE</strong>, <strong>ABILITY </strong>and <strong>SELF-WORTH</strong> [7]. Think about this in the context of <strong>Scenario A</strong> above.</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If you go to the gym and work out (<strong>PERFORM</strong>) and get fitter/slimmer and start achieving your goals, you have <strong>ABILITY </strong>and you feel really good about yourself (<strong>HIGH SELF-WORTH</strong>).</li></ul> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If you go to the gym and work out (<strong>PERFORM</strong>), but don’t see any weight loss or any fitness improvement, you see this as a lack of <strong>ABILITY </strong>(a failure of the task) and feel bad about yourself (<strong>LOW SELF-WORTH</strong>).</li></ul> <p>What procrastination does is step in to try and protect the individual by breaking the correlation between ability and performance (thus protecting self-worth).</p> <p>Think about it. If you avoid going to the gym and working out or only go to the gym with a week to go before your big event, you know that your ability has not been fully tested. Therefore, the fact that you have not got fitter or slimmer isn’t as a result of your personal failings, merely a lack of effort. You always have the excuse: “<em>Well, if I’d given myself more time, I’d have easily been able to lose 5kg.</em>”</p> <p>But what procrastination actually does is prevent you from operating at your full potential. It prevents you from challenging your abilities; seeing just how far your potential can take you. It risks keeping you locked in a place of mediocrity because it feels more comfortable. After all, being labelled as disorganised, lazy or a “last minute Nellie” feels like a less bitter pill to swallow than “you’re unworthy” or “you’re inadequate”, doesn’t it?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/290268939_570967407872303_1803610608235388622_n-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4416"/></figure> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>(b) Procrastination: Because of the fear of success</strong></h3> <p>This concept may be a little harder to grasp. One theory is that procrastination is driven by a fear of success even if we want to be successful. This requires us to look both at the light and dark side of success, and is probably easier through the use of an example.</p> <p>Success to you may be the launch of your own business. The pros are that you get to work for yourself, you are your own boss, you choose your own clients, you dictate your own hours etc. You gain independence, freedom and time.</p> <p>But depending on your experience or upbringing, deep-rooted concerns and beliefs about success could also be triggered:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Perhaps you believe that, by running a successful business, more demands will be placed on your time. There is a risk that you become a workaholic and lose control of your time. As a result, procrastinating on tasks (leaving things to the last minute) is seen as a way of avoiding that risk (i.e. preserving time), but it also undermines the likelihood of success.</li></ul> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Perhaps success is seen as “unbecoming”. I have a friend who, throughout childhood, was taught to believe that money is evil. It leads to arguments within the marriage. People with money are deemed to be “selfish”. Success separates and differentiates you from your friends and family etc. If that’s your belief pattern, is it any wonder that you find yourself procrastinating and stalling the establishment or growth of your own business?</li></ul> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-by-putting-you-first"><strong>(c) Procrastination: Because of the fear of intimacy / separation</strong></h3> <p>Procrastination is also used as a means of regulating the closeness of our interpersonal relationships. Burka and Yuen (2008) explain that:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>For some people, that desire for closeness in a relationship is driven by anxiety (a fear of separation). In order to feel safe / capable of surviving in this world, they need to have their partner / friends / family / colleagues present. So procrastination is used to preserve that dependence e.g. seeking out help with work; leaving things to the last minute so that you can “be saved”; helping a colleague shine in the work environment whilst you take a back seat; or postponing things that you want to do in favour of the things your partner wants to do.</li></ul> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>For others, procrastination is used as way to maintain distance in relationships (i.e. avoid intimacy). Intimacy (romantic or otherwise) scares some people. They feel that if they allow people to get too close to them, people may take advantage of them. Perhaps they’ve experienced painful relationships in the past and want to avoid repeating these scenarios, so use procrastination (e.g. a delay in committing or progressing the relationship) as a way of maintaining their independence.</li></ul> <p>Both of the above scenarios, Burka and Yuen (2008) explain, highlight how procrastination can be used to maintain a “comfort zone”. In reality though, procrastination in these scenarios impedes the development of healthy relationships and that balance between dependence and independence and the testing and establishment of boundaries.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/INTIMACY-SEPARATION-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4417"/></figure> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>(D) Procrastination: Because of the fear of being controlled</strong></h3> <p>Lastly, Burka and Yuen (2008) talk about the use of procrastination to avoid being controlled. The theory here is that people delay performing certain tasks as a means of asserting their independence and autonomy. And actually, it may be more familiar to you than you think.</p> <p>Think about children and their school projects. When I was 10 years old, I had to do a project on the Wirral (the peninsula next to Liverpool in the UK). It was staggered over the whole school year and various topics were covered: geographical features, religion, Roman influences, the origins of place names. Our teacher had told all of our parents about the Wirral Project because they needed to help us take photos and explore various places. The delivery of each chapter was every 4-6 weeks.</p> <p>Now, I am sure there were some very compliant children in my class, but one of the things ensconced in my personality is the need for independence. I hate being told what to do! Despite my poor mother setting rules and routines about getting each chapter of this project done early, I would leave everything to the last minute and then, in a blind panic and with a lot of drama, throw something together. But at least I retained that sense that I wasn’t being controlled!</p> <p>Procrastination, in this context, goes back to that correlation between performance, ability and self-worth discussed in Fear of Failure above. Only, in this context, self-worth is closely linked to the ability to maintain control by NOT performing [8]. So, using the above example:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If I do my homework (<strong>PERFORM</strong>) in accordance with my mother’s rules and routines, I have no autonomy or independence (<strong>ABILITY</strong>) and I feel bad about myself (<strong>SELF-WORTH</strong>).</li></ul> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If I avoid /delay doing my homework (<strong>NOT PERFORM</strong>) in defiance of my mother’s wishes, I retain my autonomy and independence (<strong>ABILITY</strong>) and I feel good about myself (<strong>SELF-WORTH</strong>).</li></ul> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/defiant-child.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/defiant-child-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4418"/></a></figure> <p>This form of procrastination (the desire to avoid being controlled) doesn’t just operate at a child level though. It can easily be identified in adult life too. How many of you resist paying bills until the last minute? How many of you file your taxes late and get hit with the late filing penalty? How many of you attend meetings late despite specifically been told to turn up on time?</p> <p>What’s interesting is that, although this form of procrastination (rebelling against parental, societal, corporate control) preserves this sense of independence, it prevents you from choosing what you actually want to do. Perhaps you do want to pay your bills on time so you have peace of mind? Perhaps turning up for a meeting on time is beneficial because you’ll get back to your desk earlier?</p> <p>In my case, had I just complied with my mother’s wishes and got on with the Wirral Project, I could have avoided one of the most mortifying experiences I had as a child and achieved the A Grade I desired. Due to procrastination, I’d begged my grandad to help me complete one of the chapters the weekend before it was due in. Bless him, he had painstakingly copied (i.e. plagarised) a chapter from one of the library books I’d taken out about the Wirral’s geographical rock formations. I’d copied what he’d written and handed it in! Needless to say, my teacher humiliated me in front of the whole class and called me out for cheating. My procrastination had had the direct opposite effect to the one intended. My self-worth was not exactly in tact!</p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Now what?</strong></h2> <p>Well, I did say that the emotional root of procrastination may feel quite confronting. I can certainly see how it has impacted my own life, particularly the fear of failure. The reality is, it still does. The reason I’ve struggled to get back into running isn’t a lack of motivation or an inability to prioritise. It’s the fear that if I set myself a goal to get fit and toned for my wedding and fail, what does that say about me as a person? My ability? My commitment to myself?</p> <p>There is a great line in the book which I’d like to leave you with which certainly helped me to feel more positive about the whole procrastination saga. <em><strong>“We believe that when you know what you feel and understand why you feel it, you are likely to be more confident, at ease with yourself, and then able to proceed without procrastinating”</strong> </em>(Burka & Yuen, 2008).</p> <p>In other words, if you’re prepared to work through your procrastination, there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that’s what we’ll focus on in Part 2. The steps which you can take to beat procrastination depending on the type of procrastinator you are.</p> <p>And, just so you are aware, the irony has not escaped me. I could have made this article twice as long and covered off the strategies here. But, hey, in true procrastinator fashion, why would I do something today which I can push to July? The challenge for me is whether I’ll give myself two weeks to write the next article or just a couple of days? Let’s see. <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Side Note</h3> <p>The summary above of the motivations driving the emotional root of procrastination is exactly that – a high level summary. It, by no means, does justice to the book. If you are struggling with procrastination or would like to discover more about it, I highly recommend you take the time to read <strong><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-About/dp/0738211702">“<em>Procrastination: Why you do it. What to do about it NOW.</em>”</a></strong>. It’s a fabulous book with a wealth of examples of how each of type of procrastination is displayed.</p> <p></p> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">references</h3> <p>[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/procrastinate</p> <p>[2] <em>What is procrastination?</em> https://www.verywellmind.com/the-psychology-of-procrastination-2795944</p> <p>[3], [5], [7] and [8] Burka, J., & Yuen, L. (2008). <em>Procrastination: Why you do it. What to do about it NOW.</em> Da Capo Life Long. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-About/dp/0738211702">https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-About/dp/0738211702</a></p> <p>[4] Le Cunff, A. (n.d.). <em>Why we wait: the neuroscience of procrastination. </em>Ness Labs: <a href="https://nesslabs.com/neuroscience-of-procrastination#:~:text=Procrastination%20actually%20finds%20its%20roots,Its%20processes%20are%20mostly%20automatic">https://nesslabs.com/neuroscience-of-procrastination#:~:text=Procrastination%20actually%20finds%20its%20roots,Its%20processes%20are%20mostly%20automatic</a>.</p> <p>[6] Clear, J. (n.d.). <em>Procrastination: A Scientific Guide on How to Stop Procrastinating</em>. https://jamesclear.com/procrastination</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure></div> </div> </div> </div> </div><p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/beating-procrastination-part-1/">Beating Procrastination (Part 1): Getting to grips with why we procrastinate</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/beating-procrastination-part-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 26 May 2022 06:38:50 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accountants]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bravery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business men]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[directionless]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[listen to your feelings]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[off track]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[purposeless]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[searching for purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time off]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trust your gut]]></category> <category><![CDATA[value alignment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[values]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4353</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Have you ever felt lost? That feeling of having no direction, no purpose and being completely off track? You're not alone.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/">Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>Have you ever felt lost?</p> <p>We’re not talking about driving to an area you don’t know without your sat-nav working. That’s a different kind of lost. <em>Altogether.</em> </p> <p>We’re talking about the “lost” that happens when you feel yourself losing your place in the world. The “lost” you feel when you’re not quite keeping up with those around you. The “lost” you feel when you’re disconnected from your purpose. And yourself. </p> <p>A feeling of “<em>where have I come from and where am I going to?</em>”.</p> <p>That kind of “lost”. Directionless. Purposeless. And completely off track.</p> <p>Feeling lost is very tangible. You can hear it. Smell it. Even taste it. It’s there all around you. </p> <p>What has caused it can be an innumerable amount of things. Maybe you have plenty of reasons. Maybe only one. And maybe none at all. Maybe you just are feeling – <em>lost.</em> Simple as that. </p> <p>It happens. To most of us throughout our lives. Spurred on by many different things – the end of a romance, the end of a career, the loss of a loved one, failing an exam, losing a case, or bungling up a deal. There are just so many variables. So many factors. And sometimes it’s more than one. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Am I lost or just demotivated?</em></strong></h2> <p>Being demotivated is quite different from feeling lost. </p> <p>According to the Oxford Dictionary being “demotivated” is when someone is <em>“less eager to work or study.” </em></p> <p>Someone who is demotivated knows where they are going and what they are doing (usually) but they just feel a little <em>less eager to get there</em>. They are missing that little cherry on top. That incentive. That nudge to get them back on track.</p> <p>But this feeling of “being lost” is different. It’s when you look in the mirror and suddenly don’t know who the person looking back at you <em>is</em>. Inside. It is the feeling of being suspended in liquid treading water and hoping you find your way out and towards the sun once again. </p> <p><em>Maybe an example will help.</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Feeling-lost-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track-1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Feeling-lost-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4355"/></a></figure> <p>Take a puzzle. After all, you know how much we love puzzles.</p> <p>Someone who is demotivated will look at all the bright coloured pieces – they will see the different shapes and sizes and can possibly even tell where one piece is meant to go. But they just don’t want to. Maybe they don’t like the image on the puzzle. Maybe they just don’t like puzzles. Maybe they just can’t be bothered. Either way, they don’t feel excited about completing it. </p> <p>Someone who is feeling lost, actually does like puzzles. But they cannot see the image of the puzzle. At all. They cannot even tell if it is in black and white or colour. So, they don’t know the first thing about <em>how</em> to put it together. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Acknowledging how you feel is the first step</em></strong></h2> <p>We acknowledge that this feeling of being lost is really hard. We acknowledge that it is not something that you can just “keep calm and carry on” about. In fact, you really shouldn’t. </p> <p>But we also know that the first step in dealing with feeling lost is acknowledging and admitting that <em>you are.</em></p> <p>Because by acknowledging how you are feeling, <em>you can start to deal with it.</em> And in so doing, <em>get to know who you are </em><em>now</em> – after finding yourself again. </p> <p>Remember, <em>“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” </em>(Aristotle).</p> <p>Acknowledging, accepting and reminding yourself that it is ok to feel the way you do, is your absolute first step. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What comes next? </em></strong></h2> <p>Your journey to finding yourself again, learning about yourself and accepting the “new you” can be an unbelievably valuable exercise. Learning about yourself is a great gift and helping yourself get through this feeling of unease can change your life in so many ways. All for the better. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Blog-images-Feeling-Lost.jpg"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Blog-images-Feeling-Lost-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4358"/></a></figure> <p>So here are some tips/strategies to follow on how to deal with feeling lost: </p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><a href="#care">Take care of yourself</a></li><li><a href="#victim">Do not become a victim</a></li><li><a href="#focus">Focus on your strengths and capabilities</a></li><li><a href="#reflect">Reflect on your values</a></li><li><a href="#acknowledge">Acknowledge who you really are</a></li><li><a href="#learn">Learn from it</a></li><li><a href="#ask">Ask for help</a></li></ol> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="care"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Take care of yourself</em></strong> – be kind to yourself first and foremost. After telling yourself it’s ok to feel how you are feeling, taking care of yourself is crucial. This is not the time to badger yourself about being weak or failing or <em>“not being good enough”</em>. Firstly, all of that is rubbish. That is just your insecurity talking. And secondly, belittling yourself will not help the situation. Be kind to yourself. Breathe. Try meditation or yoga. Get back to feeling ok in your own skin again. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="victim"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Do not become a victim</em></strong><em> </em>– when you are trying to figure out what to do next, it is only natural to develop a sort of defeatist attitude. It becomes easy to give up and not try. It is easy to become a victim. But that will only hurt you in the long run. If you stop caring about what you are doing and simply accept your situation, you are telling yourself its fine to stay in the hole you are in. It’s ok to give up. But it just isn’t. So, work on your self-esteem. Remind yourself that this is a phase, something you are working through and give yourself back your self-worth – because <em>you deserve more than that. </em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="focus"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Focus on your strengths and capabilities</em></strong><em> </em>– it’s only natural that when you are feeling lost in the world to focus on your flaws. We all have them. We are only human after all. No one is perfect. But focusing on those flaws that you may (or may not) have is again harmful. You will have nothing to gain from focusing on your weaknesses. Your flaws. The things you cannot do. <em>Yet.</em> So instead – shift your perspective. Focus on the things that you <em>can</em> do well. Focus on your strengths and your best qualities (come on you can admit what these are). Become your biggest supporter. Tell yourself <em>“You’ve got this”</em> and feel strong in that realisation. Because you are amazing, with your own gifts, your own qualities and your own unique personality. And that’s a powerful thing. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="reflect"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Reflect on your values</em></strong><em> </em>– ask yourself this <em>“what is important to you?”</em>. When you can understand what matters most in your life, when you can feel what resonates with you – focus on that. And then do whatever you need to, to live your life in line with those values that are most important to you. Remember this is <em>your life</em>. You should be living it for yourself. Not anyone else. And with that knowledge in mind – open yourself up to opportunity and take it all in.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="acknowledge"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Acknowledge who you really are</em></strong><em> </em>– now this may be a hard one. Because again, it starts with acknowledging where you are <em>right now</em>. We don’t mean on your couch in your living room. We mean, where you are emotionally. Then once you have done that, remind yourself <em>who you are</em>. Think about this deeply and look inside of yourself. You know your core values, you will already have admitted to your strengths and capabilities, you will know your self-worth. Now acknowledge what knowing all of those things about yourself makes you – a beautiful, unique individual who has been through a tough time. But someone who can find their way out of it. <em>Be true to you.</em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="learn"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Learn from it</em></strong><em> </em>– every obstacle put in our way is there to teach us a lesson. Even the really hard ones. And feeling lost is one of them. But going through this process of self-evaluation and self-care can open up your mind to parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed. We are always so busy – with work, with our families, with our friends that we often neglect getting to know ourselves first. We forget that each experience in life teaches us a valuable lesson. You have most likely been through emotions similar to this before. And going through it taught you something knew about you. So, take this life lesson and learn from it. Grow.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="ask"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Ask for help</em></strong><em> </em>– while the above are helpful steps to take in finding your way out of the fog, they are not the <em>be all and end all</em>. They are not magical beans that will suddenly turn your life around. No matter how hard you try. Sometimes we just cannot seem to pull ourselves out of the hole we have dug for ourselves. And that’s ok. But staying in that state of flux is not. So, put pride, shame and whatever else aside and ask for help. Again, we acknowledge that feeling lost is hard. It is scary and can be lonely. This isn’t easy. And we are not playing it down. <em>Whatsoever.</em> </p> </div> </div> <p>However, we believe that situations like this can be a catalyst for amazing change in your life. It can redirect you towards the things that matter most to you. <em>If you let them</em>. And that’s the key right there. <em>Its all up to you.</em> </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Be patient with yourself. Nothing blooms all year” </em></p><cite>Anonymous</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>On that note, we remind you that your mental health and your mental wellbeing are paramount to living a full life. Do not neglect them. Do not dismiss them. Do not ignore feelings of despair or feelings of being lost. </p> <p>Reach out. But also allow yourself <em>to feel, to deal and to grow from this. </em></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Resources</h2> <p><a href="https://declutterthemind.com/blog/feeling-lost/">Feeling Lost: 9 Ways to Cope When You Feel Lost</a><br><a href="http://12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life">12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life</a><br><a href="http://Feeling Lost? Here’s What It Means and How to Find Yourself">Feeling Lost? Here’s What It Means and How to Find Yourself</a></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-wide" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/">Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Stressed out? Why holidays are a necessity NOT a luxury</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2022 13:14:15 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accountants]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business men]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relax]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relaxation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time off]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unplug]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vacation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vacation time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3911</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Stress impacts both our physical and mental health. Yet society has convinced us that everything else in life trumps our need to rest. We need to stop thinking that holidays are a luxury rather than a necessity.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/">Stressed out? Why holidays are a necessity NOT a luxury</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>When was the last time you took (at least) a 2-week holiday?</p> <p>Was it as recently as this Christmas? Was it in the last year? Was it in the last 2, 3, 5 years? </p> <p>For those of you who have managed a 2-week break, let me ask you that question again, just with a slightly different emphasis this time: <em>When was the last time you took (at least) a 2-week </em><strong><em>holiday</em></strong><em>?</em></p> <p>I’m not talking about a “holiday” where you’re on call. Or a holiday where you’ll answer one or two emails. Or a holiday which coincides with a business trip. Or a holiday combined with working from your hotel room a couple of hours a day. Or a holiday where you are racing from one place to another. Or a holiday which is basically two weeks of admin catch up because you’ve not found time to do it during working hours.</p> <p>I’m talking about a <strong><em>proper holiday</em></strong>: downtime; a real break; time off. An extended period where you rest, read a book, go for lazy walks, sleep in, watch TV, paint, drink wine, daydream – whatever it is that allows you to truly switch off and do what you want to do. When was the last time you did that?</p> <p>Any takers?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-3-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (3)" class="wp-image-3922"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-m-so-stressed-holidays-are-a-luxury-not-a-necessity"><strong>I’m so stressed! – Holidays </strong><strong><em>are a luxury</em></strong><strong> not a necessity</strong></h2> <p>Although not stated in so many words, this is a belief many of us hold about taking time off (me included, back in the day). Society has convinced us that practically everything else in life trumps our need to rest. Just consider how many of the following statements have run through your mind (if not been explicitly said) when you’ve considered pausing for a couple hours or a weekend (never mind two weeks): </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>I have kids – my time is not my own. There is no such thing as downtime.</li><li>I’m strong, capable and an amazing multi-tasker. I don’t need a break.</li><li>I’m not lucky enough to have been born into a wealthy family. I can’t afford time off.</li><li>My free time needs to benefit me – it’s not for rest.</li><li>There’s been no point in taking a holiday in the last 2 years, we’ve had nowhere to go.</li><li>Work needs me – I’m essential to the project. I can’t just swan off to a beach for a week to read a book!</li><li>I get bored too easily. 4 days is sufficient time off for me.</li><li>I’m worried that if I’m not in the office that people will forget about me or get promoted ahead of me.</li><li>I’ve no one to travel with. What’s the point of taking a holiday?</li><li>If you’re not punching out the hours, you’re not a team player / you’ll never succeed.</li><li>I find it really difficult to stop and do nothing.</li><li>Holidays are an incredible waste of time!</li></ul> <p>The list goes on and on. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-4-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (4)" class="wp-image-3923"/></figure> <p>And so, with a heavy head of acceptance and a dose of martyrdom, we sacrifice our rest time (that time for our seemingly frivolous needs and wants) for the “right” things – the things a capitalist society tells us are more important: money, power, success, stability and security.</p> <p>The thing is, all of the above reasons seem perfectly justifiable for placing the luxury of a holiday on the backburner. But, when we take a closer look, those reasons are merely well-constructed and societally-approved excuses masking our own fears about taking time off. Often our identities are so intrinsically linked to the stereotyped roles that we play (the good mother, father, daughter, son, lawyer, accountant, CEO, COO, teacher, charity worker etc.) that the thought of taking a break from those roles (and the potential consequences of losing our identity – <em>I mean, what would people say?</em>) prevent us from seeing holidays as a necessity rather than a luxury.</p> <p>But what happens when you don’t stop and take time out for yourself? What happens when you keep on pushing through; putting work, family, friends, relationships ahead of your needs?</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/product/deluxe-gift-box/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="790" height="170" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/BB-animated-deluxe-gift-promo-banner-790-×-170-px.gif" alt="" class="wp-image-4343"/></a></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-2 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button aligncenter is-style-fill"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-background" style="border-radius:0px;background-color:#c69229">GET SOME “ME TIME”</a></div> </div> <div style="height:60px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-experience-how-a-proper-holiday-shifts-the-stress-perspective"><strong>My experience – how a proper holiday shifts the stress perspective </strong></h2> <p>Back in my years in corporate, 70-100 hour weeks were the norm. I constantly worked through my holidays and some, if not all, my weekends. There was one particular period where I remember flying over to Australia to spend time with my step-brother and his family. At the time, I was lead counsel on a mining deal in Canada which insisted on closing whilst I was “on holiday”. Given the time difference, the entire two weeks were spent working through the night (drafting documents, attending conference calls and negotiating), crawling into bed at 4am for three hours sleep, and then groggily playing with my niece and nephews. So much for time off! When I flew back to Geneva, there was little reprieve. The next 6 months consisted of trips to Canada, Russia and Ukraine, interspersed with weekends in Italy climbing 4,000 metre peaks; daily gym workouts; a road trip to a friends’ wedding in France and at least half a day every weekend at my computer. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-5-1024x768.jpg" alt="Frieda Levycky Stressed" class="wp-image-3913"/></figure> <p>Life was exciting and full of variety, but it was exhausting!!! And it paid a physical toll on my body… I lost tonnes of weight. I wasn’t sleeping properly. My skin was pale. I woke up every morning with grey puffy eyes. The physical signs that I needed a break were all there, staring back at me in the mirror every morning … my body was literally screaming at me to take a break and yet I refused to listen. I had convinced myself that work needed me. I was priceless to them. I was the only person who knew everything about the projects I was working on. And let’s be honest, I loved the feeling of being indispensable, needed and wanted. Had I taken a break, I’d merely have felt guilty for letting people down and worried that someone else would shine in my place. My self-worth and identity were so reliant on work – that I actually just feared the consequences of taking a break and seeing what was left of me without the work.</p> <p>When I got hospitalized with pneumonia, and my CFO called me to tell me that under no circumstances was I to respond to any email in the next two weeks, I finally sat back in my hospital bed and relaxed. I finally had permission (not that I should have needed it) to stop and rest and focus on getting my body back to health. I promise you, it’s not the ideal way of spending a 2 week holiday.</p> <p>Subconsciously, that two week break put into motion a wave of events that ultimately led me to reassess my needs and priorities. I missed quality time with my friends and family. I missed traveling for fun and adventuring. I missed morning coffees in bed. I missed sunbathing and reading for fun. I missed playing board games and creating photograph books. I missed all the “frivolous” things that just “wasted my time” because they didn’t push me towards “success”.</p> <p>That 2 week rest brought about a profound change in my life. In the way I made decisions; in what I valued; and in what I chose to prioritize.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-m-so-stressed-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury"><strong>I’m so stressed! – Holidays are </strong><strong><em>a necessity</em></strong><strong>, </strong><strong>not</strong><strong> a luxury</strong></h2> <p>My story is just one of thousands of examples of what can happen when we don’t make downtime a priority. And the world already acknowledges that it is.</p> <p>Every judicial system around the world has built in statutory minimum holiday requirements for employees for a reason. Why? Because it is a common, well-researched fact that a holiday is essential to recover from the daily stress of work.</p> <p>Stress impacts both our physical and mental health. And the longer it continues, the more damaging the effects will be on us.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-6-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (6)" class="wp-image-3925"/></figure> <p>And yet, there we are, with our bounty of viable excuses as to why holidays are not a necessity.</p> <p>But the reality is that:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>We need to be <strong><em>changing our mindset</em></strong> towards holidays and self-prioritisation. </li><li>We need to <strong><em>stop boasting</em></strong> about the fact that we’ve not taken a day’s holiday in two years!</li><li>We need to <strong><em>stop joking that taking time off is “dangerous”</em></strong> as it “allows us to remember what life is like outside of the office”! – What is it they say about jokes? There is always an element of truth in them.</li><li>We need to <strong><em>take a reality check on what is important to us</em></strong>. As Oliver Burkeman succinctly explains in his book: <em><a href="https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/four-thousand-weeks-time-management-for-mortals/503825?refId=38712&gclid=Cj0KCQiA_8OPBhDtARIsAKQu0gZRhB-UEmg1XjoM86a2VMql94QQpZiioW3gx1iXI0A_GOsUvX2YhBcaAtNQEALw_wcB">Four Thousand Weeks</a></em>: <em>“The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short …. Assuming you live to be 80, you’ll have about four thousand weeks.”</em> That is all the time that we have on this earth: four thousand weeks! So, ask yourself, how do you want to spend those weeks? Stressed out and constantly prioritizing everyone ahead of yourself? Or enjoying the things that you love doing just for the sake of doing them (and for no other purpose than that).</li></ul> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-by-putting-you-first"><strong><em>Reducing stress by putting you first</em></strong></h2> <p>So, before you think of a reason <em>not</em> to go on holiday, <em>not</em> to put yourself first and <em>not</em> to do the things that bring happiness into your life, think instead of every reason that you <em>should be</em> doing those things. Like your own wellbeing, your health (both mentally and physically) and your happiness. Those should be top priority (regardless of everything else going on in your day-to-day).</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Importance-of-Reducing-Stress-Braving-Boundaries-Life-Coaching-for-Professionals-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="Importance of Reducing Stress - Braving Boundaries Life Coaching for Professionals (1)" class="wp-image-3920"/></figure> <p>Life is short, it is unpredictable and it is fragile – embrace every moment you have on this planet and <em>live well</em>. Don’t just survive each day, <em>enjoy each day</em>. And taking a real holiday (or simply taking the weekend for yourself), is key to achieving a balance, well-lived life. Real rest is crucial. </p> <p>So go on – the sun, sea and sand are calling you. <em>Can you hear them?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Take a read of next week’s article <strong><em>“Spotting the signs of stress – even when you think you aren’t” </em></strong>which will explore how stress manifests in our bodies and how to recover from it.</p> <p>For further insight into stress and anxiety management, check out the article: <em><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a></strong></em>.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/">Stressed out? Why holidays are a necessity NOT a luxury</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2022 12:55:35 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[edith eger]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[it's not fair]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pandemic]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[viktor frankl]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3883</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Aside from the normal New Year stress, in 2022, there is an ever present anxiety around what now, what next or where to from here?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>As we “come down” from our “festive high” – filled with presents, hope for 2022, rich food and laughter of family – we find ourselves gradually settling back into the daily norm and the reality of <em>“taking the year seriously”</em> once again comes to the fore. </p> <p>And, if you’re anything like me, as with the start of every year, you’ll find that you have already put pressure on yourself to overhaul your life – to become a better, more shinier version of yourself and excel before you have even found yourself (properly) at the starting block. </p> <p>But this year, things are a little different. </p> <p><strong><em>“Janu-worry” at the start of 2022 has never been more “worryful”.</em></strong></p> <p>Not only is the world still reeling from the Omicron variant, but we are also dealing with so many other issues, like a reduced household income (due to job loss or resignation), our normal “New Year worries” and an ever present anxiety around – <em>what now, what next or where to from here? </em></p> <p>Everything kind of feels “up in the air”. </p> <p>It’s enough to make your head spin. And we are all kind of feeling a little dizzy right about now – <em>can we please get off this “joy ride”?</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/2-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3885"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-cause-of-the-stress-spiral-for-2022"><strong><em>The cause of the stress spiral for 2022</em></strong></h2> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="1-financial-stress"><strong><em>1. Financial Stress</em></strong></h3> <p>As we all know – Janu-worry is 54 days long! There it is again – that familiar realisation that all the money that we spent on gifts, travel or expensive festive meals should have covered us for the rest of the month. With no happy distractions to take our minds off the matter, coming down off of a relaxing holiday and having to delve into our finances knowing that we are <em>coming up short,</em> is an excruciating exercise. Stress levels increase and the stress spiral begins. </p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="2-the-it-s-not-fair-stress"><strong><em>2. The “it’s not fair” stress</em></strong></h3> <p>Some of us did not take leave. Some of us could not spend time with our families (who are living abroad) with travel restrictions being what they are. Perhaps we had planned a big family reunion only to have the “stuffing pulled out of the turkey” – so to speak. Travel plans were cancelled, teary calls to family members (once again) with news that we wouldn’t be coming home this year. Tearful Video Chats on Christmas day or on New Year’s –<em> “maybe next year”. </em></p> <p>Quite frankly, it sucked! </p> <p>And for those of us that still worked throughout December and found ourselves, yet again, alone during our Christmas lunches, we too are feeling the rather resentful twitch that is – <em>Christmas (and our holiday cheer) was stolen from us</em>. The Grinch being rather successful this year.</p> <p>All in all we are feeling it – that worry, anxiety and stress sprinkled with a dash of regret, resentment and anger. </p> <p>It kind of feels like the three bears – one bowl of porridge was too hot (the over spenders), one bowl of porridge was too cold (we didn’t get a Christmas at all) and on reflection, there does not seem to be many with a bowl <em>that was just right.</em> </p> <p>Know what we mean?</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/3-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3886"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="3-the-covid-stress">3<em><strong>. The covid stress</strong></em></h3> <p>Some of us were again infected with Covid (Omicron being extremely transmissible. Not necessarily worse, just catchier). And after a couple of run-ins with Covid during 2021, some of us are dealing with abject fear, uncertainty of what to do to prevent transmission and an overall state of subjective PTSD. </p> <p>Wanting to lock ourselves away from the world. Yet again. Putting ourselves under a self-inflicted lockdown. Sanitising <em>everythaaaang</em> (even considering whether we should sanitise our sanitizer bottles) and becoming complete loons at the thought of <em>another</em> outbreak.</p> <p>It feels like we have been fighting a war.</p> <p>We know, it sounds extreme, but ever since the beginning of this horrible ordeal, we have all been “under threat”. Never knowing what is going to happen next. Where the next “attack” will come from. </p> <p>It has felt <em>almost war-like</em> with measures taken by countries to mitigate the spread of the virus feeling like we are fighting an invisible enemy. The same one around the world. <em>Which we are.</em> </p> <p>But in this pursuit, it has affected livelihoods, confidence in our governments and our own sanity. And it’s made worse by the feeling that there is no real baseline for understanding what we are all going through right now and <em>how to best cope.</em></p> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="stress-anxiety-and-fear-are-real-this-year"><strong><em>Stress, anxiety and fear are real this year</em></strong></h2> <p>As a result, we have (once again) picked up less healthy habits as a coping mechanism for our spiraling emotions. We have searched for “quick fix” comforts like eating poorly (mostly potato chips), binge-watching Netflix or Amazon Prime (Have you watched <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190634/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Boys</a> yet??) and isolating ourselves from friends and family. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/4-1024x768.jpg" alt="stress spiral for 2022" class="wp-image-3887"/></figure> <p>The very definition of an <em>act of self-preservation</em> which creates a feeling of distance and an over-whelming isolation from others. And this, in turn (ironically) results in feeling even more anxious.</p> <p>And you have to ask yourself, <em>is this really living?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="strategies-to-combat-the-stress-spiral"><strong><em>Strategies to combat the stress spiral</em></strong></h2> <p>When going through turmoil, it’s hard to know which way to turn. We understand that. </p> <p>But if there is anyone that can give us advice on how best to cope during this pandemic, it’s those that have themselves already experienced horrors and loss beyond most of our own comprehension. It’s people that survived the Holocaust that came out the other side with lessons learnt, experiences gained and psychology degrees that are perfectly poised to guide us. They survived because they found meaning and purpose despite the atrocities they faced. </p> <p>And we would venture to say that if they can survive the Holocaust, <em>we can get through anything….</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-man-s-search-for-meaning"><strong><em>Reducing stress – Man’s Search for Meaning</em></strong></h2> <p>Victor Emil Frankl (1905 – 1997) was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. He devoted his life to studying, understanding and promoting “meaning”, techniques he himself used during his horrific time in the concentration camps. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/5-1024x768.jpg" alt="Viktor Frankl | Man's Search For Meaning" class="wp-image-3888"/></figure> <p>In his book, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Man’s Search for Meaning</a>, Frankl described how he survived the Holocaust <strong><em>by finding personal meaning in the experience, giving him the will to live through it.</em></strong> He bases this on the following <a href="https://www.realtimeperformance.com/5-lessons-from-viktor-frankls-book-mans-search-for-meaning/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">five premises</a>:</p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong>We always retain the ability to choose our attitude</strong> – </strong><em><em>“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts, comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.“ </em></em>No matter what life throws at us, we will always retain our own inner-freedom to decide our own attitude, to remain true to our character and to our duties.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-10 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>There will be suffering but it’s how we react to the suffering that counts – </strong></strong></strong>one finds meaning in life in three ways. Through <em>work</em> (especially when that work is both creative in nature and aligned with a purpose greater than ourselves), through <em>love</em> (which often manifests itself in the service of others) and through <em>suffering</em> (which is fundamental to the human experience). The test then for all of us is how we respond to the <em>suffering in our lives</em>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-11 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong>The power of purpose</strong> – Frankl observed that those prisoners who survived, who found a way to endure, always had a greater purpose that carried them onward through difficult conditions. <em>“The prisoner who had lost faith in the future – his future – was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future he also lost his spiritual hold; he let himself decline and become subject to mental and physical decay”. </em>Frankl refers several times to the words of <a style="href="https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nietzsche/"" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Friedrich Nietzsche</a>:<em> “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. </em>It is finding our meaning, our greater purpose in life -despite the atrocities we face – that keep us alive and keep us going.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-12 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>The true test of our character is revealed in<em> how we act </em>– </strong></strong></strong><span style="font-size: revert;">Frankl came to the conclusion that there is <em>no general answer to the meaning of life</em>. Each person must answer the question for themselves. We find our own unique meaning based on our circumstances, our relationships and our experiences. Life is essentially testing us, and the answer is revealed in how we respond.</span></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-13 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong>Human Kindness can be found in the most surprising places</strong> – In his book, Frankl recalls a time when a guard, at great risk to himself, secretly gave him a piece of bread. <em>“It was far more than the small piece of bread which moved me to tears at the time. It was the human “something” that this man gave to me – the word and look which accompanied the gift. The mere knowledge that a man was either a camp guard or a prisoner tells us almost nothing. Human kindness can be found in all groups, even those which as a whole it would be easy to condemn”. </em>Frankl claims there are really only two types of people in the world – decent human beings and indecent human beings. Both can be found everywhere. They penetrate every group and every society.</p> </div> </div> <p>Frankl’s book and what he experienced emphasise the importance of finding and cultivating meaning in our daily lives, something that is core to (what Socrates called) <em>“a life well-lived.”</em> Frankl’s insights teach us that, <em>not only is there value in our search for meaning, but it’s the duty of each and every one of us to find that meaning for ourselves and pursue it.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-aiming-to-see-the-positive-in-everything"><strong><em>Reducing stress – Aiming to see the positive in everything</em></strong></h2> <p><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicagold/2020/09/15/5-tips-a-psychologist-and-holocaust-survivor-can-teach-us-about-surviving/?sh=1b8f63197260" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr. Edith Eger</a>, a Hungarian teenager in 1944 found herself in Auschwitz. Though her parents died in the gas chamber, her outlook kept both her sister and herself alive. After her liberation from the death camp, she went on to get her degree in psychology, mentored by Viktor Frankl. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/6-1024x768.jpg" alt="The Gift | 12 Lessons to Save Your Life" class="wp-image-3889"/></figure> <p>She lived through war, horror and abject fear. She saw the absolute worst side of man. As did Frankl. But she came out the other side not only with a degree but life lessons we can all take to heart, especially <em>as we learn to cope with our everyday stress and anxiety</em>:</p> <p></p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-14 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong>Live in the present, remembering lessons learned from the past –</strong></strong></strong> aim to live your life as much as you can in the present moment and not in the past. Don’t risk remaining “a prisoner” in your own home, a prisoner to your own life and to your own mindset. Avoid the <em>“should have”</em> and <em>“could have”</em> mentality and focus on the things you can do right now.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-15 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong>We can’t change what’s happening around us, but we can change our internal attitude – </strong></strong></strong></strong>create a world within yourself that no one can affect. Think of the dark times as being only temporary – <em>“this too shall pass”.</em> Shift expectations to realistic rather than idealistic i.e. <em>“2022 will be my year”</em> and instead find hope and positivity in the things that you can realistically accomplish.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-16 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Self-love is self-care – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>we are often nicer to our friends and family than we are to ourselves, seemingly believing that self-love and self-care is self-centered and selfish. But we believe (as does Eger) that self-love is critical to survival, especially during challenging times. Get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror with kindness and remind yourself that <em>you love you</em> too. Loving yourself is caring for yourself. So start your day with a positive affirmation and pursue your goals with a powerful purpose.<strong><strong><strong><strong> </strong></strong></strong></strong></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-17 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Everyone experiences grief differently – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>during this time, grief manifests in many ways. People are grieving the loss of school, planned events, sports, travel and general life experiences. Sure it may not be to the same extent as actual war or finding yourself in a death camp but with such a broad spectrum of loss, many experience guilt when they feel their grief is not equal to that of mourning the passing of a loved one or witnessing mass murder in gas chambers. Their grief does not deserve to be “grieved for” in the same way. But you cannot compare grief. You can’t compare situations either. Everyone grieves for their own personal losses in their own unique way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or what you are allowed to grieve for. And the truth of the matter is this – everyone’s loss will be worse at that point in time for them than anyone else’s grief. It’s all relative. So grieve what you need to grieve in a way that is right for you.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-18 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong><strong>Look for the good amongst the negative – </strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong></strong>as hard as it is to understand, there actually <em>is</em> good in everything. We need to learn to look at our current situation in this light. No matter how bad it may seem. We need to decide how we are going to approach our experiences. How we are going to use our time – <em>complain and blame</em> or rather <em>recognise the good</em> in the situation and <em>regroup</em>? Decide on <em>“where to from here”</em> and make a plan to get there. <em>Hope is found within you</em> and not something you look for outside of yourself. It is the events that we endure that make us stronger, and in the end, <em>“it is not what happens, it is what we do with it.”</em></p> </div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="reducing-stress-the-key-take-away"><strong><em>Reducing stress – The key take away</em></strong></h2> <p>We need to continually search for and find meaning and purpose in our everyday lives. And we do this by <em>looking within ourselves</em>. Remembering that it is our attitude and how we react to the experiences around us that will help us endure. </p> <p>Having optimism and looking for good in everything is key. We will all experience things differently (but our own experiences are still important) and we need to not only embrace our uniqueness but remember to practice self-love and self-care. Human kindness (and hope) can be found all around us. If only we look for it. </p> <p>Sure, it may seem like a tall order and <em>“easier said than done”</em> but both Frankl and Eger survived actual death camps with their outlooks. They overcame tragedy, loss, suffering and trauma beyond our imaginations because of their attitudes and how they approached their situation. 6 million Jews and about 5 million non-Jews were not as lucky. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/7-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3890"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="our-closing-thoughts"><strong><em>Our closing thoughts</em></strong></h2> <p>In these uncertain times, it is important to talk about how you are feeling. In fact, we strongly encourage it. “Going it alone”, being self-sufficient and independent is not necessarily a virtue. Not at the present moment with the world, our lives and our “Janu-worry” stress spiral in upheaval.</p> <p>Find a safe person or group of people that you can share your innermost feelings and concerns with—this could be a friend, a family member, a therapist (especially if you are not 100% certain where your anxiety stems from), a coach (like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/">Braving Boundaries</a>), or a safe online support group. Whoever or whatever it is, it’s crucial that you feel emotionally supported and encouraged. Not judged. </p> <p>We also believe that it is vital for you to leave self-judgment at the door. Don’t beat yourself up for going through a “Janu-worry” stress spiral. It does not make you weak. And you are not a bad or selfish person for <em>feeling your feels</em>. It’s not only understandable but expected. Rather focus your energies on escaping the spiral and digging yourself out of the slump. Being able to challenge your negative thoughts while at the same time being compassionate to yourself about what is happening is a good place to start. </p> <p>While it isn’t easy and often takes practice, you can put a stop to the “Janu-worry” stress spiral and start to look forward to the rest of the year, keeping Frankl and Eger’s words close to heart. <em>They knew what they were talking about.</em></p> <p>You got this! Trust us. </p> <p></p> <p>For further articles on stress management and the impact that stress has on your mental and physical health, check out the blog article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/stressed-out-why-holidays-are-a-necessity-not-a-luxury/"><em><strong>“Stressed out? Why holidays are a NECESSITY not a luxury”</strong></em></a>.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator aligncenter is-style-default"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-19 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/">The “Janu-worry” stress spiral</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-janu-worry-stress-spiral/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2021 19:23:29 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[athletes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[high achievers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health advocate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental well being]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[olympics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sport stars]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sporting heroes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sporting legends]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sports stars]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3125</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Many people, sports stars and everyday people alike, experience mental health issues. But it’s what we choose to do about them that counts.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/">It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><em>It’s “Ok not to be Ok”. Honestly.</em></p> <p>Choice.</p> <p>Choice is a funny thing. It’s something we all have. </p> <p>We can choose who we love, we can choose how we worship. We can choose our sexual orientation. We can choose what political parties we follow and those we don’t. We can say no to the things we disagree with. And we can stand up for the things we do. We can get married, or not. Have children. Don’t have children. We can abort an unwanted pregnancy, or not – your body, your choice. We can choose to study or not. We can choose to live the way we want to. </p> <p><em>And we can choose how we feel and what to do about it.</em></p> <p>These are all choices we get to make every single day. </p> <p><em>But what if you were not happy with your choices?</em></p> <p>Take myself as an example. </p> <p>I am a qualified and admitted attorney. I completed an undergraduate B.Com Law degree and thereafter a post graduate LL.B degree. Definitely achievements to be proud of. To Be sure. And I <em>was.</em> </p> <p>I was proud to be called an Attorney or General Counsel or In-house counsel. <em>Whatever the title</em>. I was proud that I was given the opportunity to study when some people weren’t. I was proud that I could draft international contracts and win cases. I was proud of what I had achieved. <em>La-di-da.</em></p> <p>But I was also deeply unhappy. I suffered from anxiety, stress to the extreme, I felt inadequate and constantly felt like a failure. An imposter. My mental health really took a knock. And it was so hard to admit that. </p> <p>I wasn’t doing what I believed I should be doing. I felt like when it came down to it, I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live. I was just going through the motions. Even though I had been trained to be what I was and was operating at high levels.</p> <p>And I didn’t (yet) have the guts to say – <em>Stop. Enough. I don’t want this. I am unhappy. </em></p> <p>And I felt so alone in that.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3150"/></figure></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The truth is – you are not alone – poor mental health affects us all </h2> <p>Growing up we are all led to believe (whether it is through our families influence, TV, Magazines and now social media) that famous people are above it all. Immune to “<em>feeling all the feels”.</em> </p> <p>Like money, fame and success can make them immune to feeling inadequate, like feeling like a failure, like being anxious, unsure. Feeling not quite themselves. Feeling down or even being depressed.</p> <p>But it simply isn’t true. </p> <p>After all, even famous people are human.</p> <p>It’s funny, when I started writing this article, I wanted to discuss how athletes perform to these extremely high standards and how they are able to motivate themselves through the hard times. But it has turned into something more than that. </p> <p>And it started with the 2020 Tokyo Olympics which really did shine a spotlight on mental health issues. </p> <p><em>And the humanity of it all. </em></p> <p>The “real” of it all – behind all the camera flashes, TV interviews and million dollar endorsements.</p> <p>How, despite <em>“having the world at their feet</em>” even professional athletes trained to withstand immense pressure both in their professional and private lives <em>can fall. Can fail. And can feel it.</em></p> <p>It is surprising which of the people we look up to, mold ourselves after or wish we could be, have suffered through their own bouts of mental health issues. Have wanted things to stop. Or have wanted to change their circumstances. But they have come through it – not entirely unscathed – but they have made it through. <em>Because of the choices they made.</em></p> <p>And it is these people that outperform, that compete at high levels and to high standards (for a living), that put smiles on for the crowds and wave to their fans. It’s the people that win the gold medals, the people that set the records – or break them. <em>It is the people that admit they are suffering despite their fame and success,</em> that I want to talk about. </p> <p>Because maybe we can learn a thing or two from their experiences. Especially around the choices they decided to make. <em>Despite it all.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Mental health – Even our heroes cry</h2> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://www.vogue.com/article/how-have-other-leading-athletes-addressed-their-struggles-with-mental-health" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How Have Leading Athletes Addressed Their Struggles With Mental Health?</a>, the following was set out – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“The nonprofit </em><a href="https://www.athletesforhope.org/2019/05/mental-health-and-athletes/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Athletes for Hope</em></a><em> has estimated that 35% of professional athletes experience problems with their mental health, facing everything from eating disorders and burnout to depression and anxiety—but they’re not often discussed on the world’s largest stages, especially not by players at the top of their careers”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that is where we begin.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/simone-biles.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3128"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://live.staticflickr.com/8010/28302956634_d6900e6a70_b.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ginástica Artística – Final individual feminino – Simone Biles/EUA – Medalha de Ouro</a> by Danilo Borges /ME /Brasil2016. </figcaption></figure> <p>It is no surprise that during the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, <strong><em>Simone Biles</em></strong>, a four-time Olympic gold medalist, with 32 Olympic and world medals, made headlines when she <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-out-team-gymnastics-final-after-apparent-injury-n1275121" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">pulled out of the U.S. team gymnastics finals</a> – withdrawing from the team all-around, the individual all-around, the vault, floor exercise and uneven bar events. She stated that the emotional toll of the Tokyo Games, (and not her physical health) had taken its toll on her which prompted her withdrawal. </p> <p>Simone is widely considered to be the <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-prepares-compete-balance-beam-final-n1275766" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">world’s best gymnast</a> – at the young age of only 24 – <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-prepares-compete-balance-beam-final-n1275766" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tied for the most Olympic record medals won</a> by an American gymnast. </p> <p>She is arguably at the top of her game, <em>how could she be suffering from mental health issues?</em> </p> <p>But she is. And she walked away from one of the biggest athletic competitions in the world in order to focus on her own mental health. On her own terms. And with her head held high. She is not ashamed. <em>Nor should she be.</em> </p> <p>Experts have said that if the 2020 Tokyo Olympics was a measure for her future success and ability to compete – she may have missed her curtain call. But, at the very same time, she is leaving behind a legacy that transcends sports. And she has become a household name.</p> <p>Simone who is a survivor of the USA Gymnastics team’s former doctor, Larry Nassar’s abuse (he was accused of sexually assaulting more than 120 girls. He pleaded guilty to sexually abusing 10 minors in a Michigan court in 2018 and is serving up to 175 years in prison), is now able to speak out against sexual abuse, mental health issues and will represent the shift towards advocating for better safety and better treatment of athletes and coaches alike.</p> <p>And that’s a big deal! </p> <p><strong><em>But if you think Simone is the only athlete to experience mental health issues, you would be sorely mistaken</em></strong></p> <p>According to the article <a href="https://www.healthcentral.com/slideshow/famous-athletes-that-struggle-with-depression" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">10 Famous Athletes Who Struggle With Depression</a>, –</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>”AN </em><a href="https://www.ncaa.org/sport-science-institute/mind-body-and-sport-depression-and-anxiety-prevalence-student-athletes" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>NCAA survey</em></a><em> of athletes found that 30 percent reported feeling depressed over the course of a year. Why? Research from the </em><a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/setting-the-bar-athletes-and-vulnerability-to-mental-illness/E4A39433B58B9A44D821D7A9E2C2D04C" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Northern Ireland Association of Mental Health</em></a><em> suggests competitive failure and other factors can lead to psychological distress”.</em></p></blockquote> <p><em>Our heroes have been crying for a while now, we just didn’t notice. </em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Joe Marler</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Joe_Marler_10243050205-1024x695.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3129"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e3/Joe_Marler_%2810243050205%29.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Joe Marler</a> by Charlie. </figcaption></figure> <p>The Harlequins and England prop was the subject of a Sky Sports documentary <a href="https://www.skysports.com/rugby-union/news/12321/12303342/joe-marler-discusses-battle-with-depression-and-goes-on-journey-to-rebuild-his-mental-health-in-sky-sports-big-boys-dont-cry" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Big Boys Don’t Cry</a> in which he talked openly about learning to cope with his mental health issues and how he battled with mental health in his private life and during his time playing rugby on the international stage.</p> <p>He described how he opened up to his wife and close friends and sought to get help from them in order to better understand what was going on. He saw a psychiatrist, got an evaluation, had several sessions and was put on anti-depressants.</p> <p>He has said that – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“We are required to dominate and intimidate opposing players when we cross the white line on the pitch, we must show no weakness or vulnerability in order to win. But it doesn’t have to be like that off the pitch.”</em></p><cite>Joe Marler</cite></blockquote></figure> <p>Which is completely right. </p> <p>Through Big Boys Don’t Cry, Joe has travelled around the UK to open up the conversation around mental health challenges and meet people along the way who are learning to manage their mental wellbeing.</p> <p><em>Big boys can (and do) cry!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Michael Phelps</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Michael_Phelps_conquista_20a_medalha_de_ouro_e_e_ovacionado_1036422-09082016-_mg_7107-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3130"/><figcaption><a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/br/deed.en" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcommons.wikimedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFile%3AMichael_Phelps_conquista_20%25C2%25AA_medalha_de_ouro_e_%25C3%25A9_ovacionado_1036422-09082016-_mg_7107.jpg&psig=AOvVaw3VgSa8K4OMqWCplE1z67HT&ust=1629966413444000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjhxqFwoTCJCG_Njjy_ICFQAAAAAdAAAAABAy" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Michael Phelps</a> by Fernando Frazão/Agência Brasil.</figcaption></figure> <p>Winner of 28 Olympic medals, retired competitive swimmer Michael Phelps is considered to be <em>one</em> of the most successful and most decorated Olympians of all time. But at a conference held at <a href="https://www.thekennedyforum.org/livestream/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the Kennedy Forum</a> in 2018 he told a shocked audience that he had contemplated suicide. In a <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">CNN article</a> it was stated that during a discussion with political strategist <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/profiles/david-axelrod" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">David Axelrod</a>, Michael spoke openly about his battle against anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. He admitted to turning to alcohol (in 2004 Phelps was charged with driving under the influence) and drugs (in 2008 just weeks after he had won a record number of eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was photographed smoking marijuana). He admitted that – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Drugs were a way of running from “whatever it was I wanted to run from. It would be just me self-medicating myself, basically daily, to try to fix whatever it was that I was trying to run from.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>But he got help. </p> <p>And has now admitted that by talking about his feelings, <em>“life became easy.”</em></p> <p>He also admitted to something that a lot of us <em>may</em> be guilty of – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I was very good at compartmentalizing things and stuffing things away that I didn’t want to talk about, I didn’t want to deal with, I didn’t want to bring up — I just never ever wanted to see those things,”</em></p><cite>Michael Phelps</cite></blockquote> <p>Sound familiar?</p> <p>Lastly, he said one of the most important things that I think we can take away from <em>his</em> experience – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><strong><em>“It’s OK to not be OK”</em></strong><em> and that mental illness “has a stigma around it and that’s something we still deal with every day. </em><strong><em>I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change</em></strong><em>.”</em></p><cite>Michael Phelps</cite></blockquote></figure> <p>Today, he is making a difference by helping others through the <a href="https://michaelphelpsfoundation.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Michael Phelps Foundation</a> and the <a href="https://www.bgca.org/about-us/our-partners/michael-phelps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Boys and Girls Clubs of America</a>. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Naomi Osaka</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1023" height="659" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/naomi-osaka.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3135"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49384180057_963de57e09_b.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Naomi Osaka</a> by Rob Prange. </figcaption></figure> <p>Beating Serena Williams in the 2018 U.S Open Final, 23 year old Naomi has been unveiled by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/brettknight/2021/06/02/naomi-osaka-is-the-highest-paid-female-athlete-ever-and-her-french-open-exit-may-actually-help-her/?sh=8de09591ef8b" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes</a> as the world’s highest-paid sportswoman, making $60 million (with $55 million coming from endorsements) in the past 12 months alone. </p> <p>It is the <a href="https://www.news.com.au/sport/sports-life/champions/naomi-osaka-is-highest-paid-female-athlete-in-history/news-story/e12cc80d12d7febff0d93154990ff6e2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">largest number earned by a woman in history</a>, shattering the single-year earning mark of $45.5 million set by Maria Sharapova in 2015. Naomi has many lucrative deals under her belt with the likes of Nike and Nissan, amongst a host of others. </p> <p>Everyone knows her name. She is well and truly on top of her game. And coining it. </p> <p><em>But is she really?</em></p> <p>Naomi came under fire when she <a href="https://www.self.com/story/naomi-osaka-wont-do-interviews-french-open" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">announced that she would not take part in press interviews</a> whilst at the 2021 French Open resulting in a fine of $15,000 from the tournament’s authorities – which she had hoped would <em>“go towards a mental health charity.”</em></p> <p>In a statement posted on Twitter and Instagram, Naomi said that – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I’ve often felt that people have no regard for athletes’ mental health and this rings very true whenever I see a press conference or partake in one.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>She later went on to withdraw from the tournament altogether citing anxiety and wanting to exercise self-care. She needed time to focus on her mental health. </p> <p>Whilst she suffered a harsh fine due to not abiding by her media obligations, <a href="https://www.rolandgarros.com/en-us/article/statement-from-grand-slam-tournaments-regarding-naomi-osaka" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the Roland Garros authorities warned</a> that if Osaka continued to “ignore her media obligations,” she could incur more violations and risk more extreme fines and even suspensions from further Grand Slam tournaments. They were later <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/tennis-world-condemns-naomi-osaka-treatment-after-she-withdraws-from-french-open/BPW2YIM5LN5BCCPQUSW3SJALEY/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">lambasted for how she was treated</a>.</p> <p>Prominent athletes and celebrities rallied around Naomi with messages of care and support. With Venus Williams even commenting – <em>“So proud of you. Take care of yourself and see you back winning soon.”</em></p> <p>And a truly meaningful message coming from tennis icon Martina Navratilova who tweeted – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I am so sad about Naomi Osaka. I truly hope she will be OK. As athletes we are taught to take care of our body, and perhaps the mental & emotional aspect gets short shrift”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that’s really the point. </p> <p>People (famous or not) constantly focus on their physical health and wellbeing. As if that’s all that makes up a human being. But there should be more attention on the mental health of society as well. </p> <p><em>Mental health issues are not just a trend. And they should not just be paid lip service. Real action needs to be taken. </em></p> <p>By all of us.</p> <p>In an essay titled Naomi Osaka: ‘It’s O.K. Not to Be O.K.’ in <a href="https://time.com/6077128/naomi-osaka-essay-tokyo-olympics/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Time magazine</a>, Naomi said this – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Life is a journey.</em></p><p><em>In the past few weeks, my journey took an unexpected path but one that has taught me so much and helped me grow. I learned a couple of key lessons.</em></p><p><em>Lesson one: you can never please everyone. The world is as divided now as I can remember in my short 23 years. Issues that are so obvious to me at face value, like wearing a mask in a pandemic or kneeling to show support for anti-racism, are ferociously contested. I mean, wow. So, when I said I needed to miss French Open press conferences to take care of myself mentally, I should have been prepared for what unfolded.</em></p><p><em>Lesson two was perhaps more enriching. It has become apparent to me that literally everyone either suffers from issues related to their mental health or knows someone who does. The number of messages I received from such a vast cross section of people confirms that. </em><strong><em>I think we can almost universally agree that each of us is a human being and subject to feelings and emotions</em></strong><em>.</em></p><p><em>Perhaps we should give athletes the right to take a mental break from media scrutiny on a rare occasion without being subject to strict sanctions”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And those are profound lessons for someone of her tender age. </p> <p>Naomi thanks Michael Phelps for his support stating – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><strong><em>“Michael Phelps told me that by speaking up I may have saved a life. If that’s true, then it was all worth it.”</em></strong></p></blockquote> <p>Naomi later withdrew from Wimbledon as well. </p> <p>Whilst she competed in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she did not perform as expected (or as she had hoped) being knocked out of the women’s singles tennis by Marketa Vondrousova of the Czech Republic.</p> <p>Naomi merely said that <em>it sucked to lose</em>. Which it undoubtedly did. </p> <p><em>We hear you and we get it!</em></p> <p>But Naomi’s move to withdraw from interviews and international tournaments has <a href="https://www.iol.co.za/sport/olympics/athletes-like-simone-biles-ought-to-be-applauded-for-speaking-out-on-mental-illness-6085849b-d439-463e-9f8f-bff82622f32f" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sp</a>arked talks worldwide around mental health – people are being made more aware of the fact that mental health issues do actually exist, that it is not something to be ashamed of and that professional athletes suffer from mental health issues too. Which is an important thing!</p> <p>Naomi’s advocacy for mental health for professional athletes will enable her to encourage others to take their mental health seriously and will help change the industry. For the better. </p> <p><em>And hopefully, influence wider society whilst she is at it.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/2-Small-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3152"/></figure></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">See? Poor mental health affects us all – It’s not just you!</h2> <p>As you can see – <em>even the mighty fall</em>. </p> <p>Whilst it may feel like it sometimes, you are not alone. </p> <p>Many people, famous and everyday people alike, experience mental health issues. But <em>it’s what we choose to do about them that counts.</em></p> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/brain-health/a-game-changer-for-mental-health-sports-icons-open-up" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A game-changer for mental health: Sports icons open up</a>, they said – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“They had the world’s spotlight shining on them.</em></p><p><em>They had trained for years for this moment.</em></p><p><em>Millions of fans waited to watch them compete and see them hoist a trophy or a gold medal once again.</em></p><p><strong><em>Instead, they used that spotlight to say something few world-famous athletes have ever dared to say out loud: I need to step away from this competition and focus on my mental health.</em></strong></p><p><em>And by doing so, gymnast Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka, basketball player Kevin Love and a handful of others at the pinnacle of their athletic careers </em><strong><em>have helped accelerate a trend that mental health experts at the University of Michigan say is long overdue</em></strong><em>.</em></p><p><em>By being open about what they were experiencing, and not “toughing it out” or stifling their feelings like generations of athletes have had to do, these icons did more than spare themselves injury or defeat.</em></p><p><em>Their public choice to seek help for depression, anxiety, overwhelming stress and other concerns could help athletes at all levels have the courage to seek professional help, and a break from competition if they need it.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that is exactly the point – these athletes made a choice. One that benefitted their own safety, their own mental health and their own well-being. And for those that look up to them, it will hopefully educate and encourage society to speak more openly about their own mental health issues. </p> <p>Times are clearly changing. For professional athletes at the top of their games (earning millions), in the midst of worldwide competitions, to stop and also say – <em>Enough. I don’t want this. I am unhappy</em>. Despite fines, loss of earnings or endorsements – speaks volumes. </p> <p>It shows that no one is immune. And that regardless of your position, you have a choice to stand up for yourself, to change your circumstances, to say no, to act in your own best interests, to say enough is enough, to admit that you have a problem. And most importantly, to ask for help. </p> <p>Even when you are a famous sportsperson, even when you are a famous actor, like <a href="https://www.self.com/story/kit-harington-depression-addiction" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Kit Harington</a> (as only one isolated example). </p> <p><em>Even when you are at the top of your game.</em></p> <p>You have choice. Don’t tough it out. Don’t suffer in silence. </p> <p>And know that you can change your situation for the better. </p> <p>As Michael Phelps tweeted – <em>“getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness”.</em></p> <p><em>And isn’t it about time?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">How you can get help if you’re struggling with poor mental health</h2> <p>Remember, poor mental health can transpire in many forms. From feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed, to feelings of low self-worth, burnout and suicide. Whatever you are experiencing, there is help out there for you. </p> <p>For help with navigating stress and overwhelm , <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">contact Frieda Levycky of Braving Boundaries</a> who will provide the support and guidance you need to bring clarity to the chaos.</p> <p>If you’re thinking about suicide, hurting yourself or struggling with depression, you can get support by calling –</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>LifeLine SA on 0861 322 322 </li><li>Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 12 13 14</li><li>South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 567 657</li></ul> <p>If you’re struggling with drug use or addiction, or know someone who is, you can call Houghton House’s 24/7 emergency helpline on 079 770 7532.</p> <p>Or visit <a href="https://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/drug-alcohol-and-addiction-helplines-south-africa/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/drug-alcohol-and-addiction-helplines-south-africa/</a> to get referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organisations.</p> <p>This is not about rewinding time to go back in order to make different decisions. No. This is about dealing with the ones you’ve already made. It is about admitting that you are experiencing a problem, it is about saying no to the things you cannot do anymore. And most importantly – it is about asking for help. </p> <p>Remember – <a href="https://theathletic.com/news/michael-phelps-on-simone-biles-mental-health-its-ok-to-not-be-ok/nVaL238ANGo7" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK”.</em></a></p> <p>But you also need to choose to do something about it. </p> <p>If I, Michael, Simone and Naomi can do it. So can you. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Basic-Balance-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3149"/></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-default"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-20 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/">It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>