<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>self-worth Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/self-worth/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/self-worth/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 11:53:52 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>self-worth Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/self-worth/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>If Our Lives Were a Movie</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/if-our-lives-were-a-movie/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/if-our-lives-were-a-movie/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2025 14:40:58 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[chronic illness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[family]]></category> <category><![CDATA[festive reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love actually]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-worth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[year-end reflection]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235481</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/if-our-lives-were-a-movie/">If Our Lives Were a Movie</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Rated ‘U’ for Unexpected: A Love, Actually Remake Starring Me, a Bear, and a Maine Coon</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">As a certified, card-carrying love fool – the kind who still believes Hugh Grant can dance and that a handwritten sign is the peak of romantic communication – I decided to view my year through the soft-focus, ensemble-cast lens of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9Z3_ifFheQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Love, Actually</i></span></a>. It seemed fitting. I am a complete romantic, I always root for the underdog (usually me and my perpetually swollen joints), and frankly, my life often feels like a series of interconnected, slightly chaotic subplots that sometimes involve airport scenes that drag on too long.</p> <p class="p1">This year’s production was an emotional rollercoaster, complete with a heartwarming soundtrack, a pivotal Christmas pageant scene (metaphorically speaking), and enough anti-inflammatories and painkillers to sedate a small elephant.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>The Prime Minister and the Tea Lady (That’s Me and My Boundaries)</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Metal-door-View-more-by-pixbox77-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Metal door View more by pixbox77 from Getty Images" title="Metal door View more by pixbox77 from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235497" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">My main plotline, much like the Prime Minister’s awkward-but-charming romance with the tea lady, Natalie, was learning to put myself first and establish some much-needed boundaries. I spent years being the human equivalent of a revolving door for other people’s dramas, other people’s outrageous lies, always apologetic, always in pain, but perpetually available for a crisis I didn’t create.</p> <p class="p1">This year, the door was firmly shut and possibly reinforced with hardened steel, much to the chagrin of my autoimmune system, which decided to throw a flare-up party every time I used the word “no.” My anxiety disorder provided a running commentary from the sidelines: <i>“Are you sure you should have said that? They hate you now. You’re going to die alone.”</i> (My anxiety is a dramatic diva. Much like me).</p> <p class="p1">The result? A rather surprising revelation about my supporting cast. The people who complained about the new boundaries turned out to be the ones using the revolving door as a shortcut. The friends who stayed? They brought casseroles, respected the “Do Not Disturb” sign, and didn’t mind when I cancelled plans because my psoriatic arthritis decided my ankle looked like a balloon. It turns out that true friendship, much like good lighting in a British rom com, doesn’t need constant negotiation. It just works.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Sarah and Karl (The Family Plot Twist)</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Woman-Recording-Video-of-Cat-View-more-by-Yasar-Baskurt-from-Pexels.jpg" alt="Woman Recording Video of Cat View more by Yaşar Başkurt from Pexels" title="Woman Recording Video of Cat View more by Yaşar Başkurt from Pexels" class="wp-image-235496" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">My Sarah/Karl storyline was perhaps the most poignant and least-dramatic heartbreak of the year. Sarah is the lovely woman who puts her life on hold for her institutionalised brother, sacrificing her chance with Karl, the gorgeous office crush. It’s a beautifully painful subplot about duty and impossible timing.</p> <p class="p1">My twist, however, was about redefining “family.” I had to accept a hard truth – some family can’t be chosen, and sometimes, they choose not to choose you back. The phone call that interrupts the perfect romantic moment with Karl is a painful reality check.</p> <p class="p1">But here’s the unexpected cinematic magic: other family members, whom I’d never been particularly close to in my sordid past, stepped into the void and became everything to me. It was a beautiful, quiet realisation that connection is measured not in shared DNA, but in shared presence. My “Karl” moment was a pivot toward people who answered the phone when I called, rather than letting it ring out.</p> <p class="p1">They also send rather cute cat videos via Instagram and WhatsApp. I’m lucky like that.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Jamie and Aurélia (Telling My Clients the Truth)</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Discovering-the-truth-View-more-by-esolla-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Discovering the truth View more by esolla from Getty Images Signature" title="Discovering the truth View more by esolla from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235495" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Jamie (Colin Firth) learns Portuguese for Aurélia, the beautiful housekeeper he can barely communicate with. It’s a grand, slightly mad gesture of connection.</p> <p class="p1">In my professional life, I had my own “learn Portuguese” moment. Instead of jargon and corporate-speak, my “Portuguese” was vulnerability. Telling clients my truth – setting realistic expectations, admitting when my chronic illness meant I needed more time, and being transparent about my capacity. It felt incredibly risky, especially with my depression whispering that I was surely about to be fired.</p> <p class="p1">The result? Stronger, deeper, and more respectful relationships. They didn’t fire me. Instead, they appreciated the honesty. We’re no longer just colleagues, we’re a united front against deadlines. Who knew honesty was the ultimate business development tool?</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>The Sidekick: Georgia Peach</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Majestic-Maine-Coon-Cat-on-Cozy-Sofa-View-more-by-Ludovic-Delot-from-Pexels.jpg" alt="Majestic Maine Coon Cat on Cozy Sofa View more by Ludovic Delot from Pexels" title="Majestic Maine Coon Cat on Cozy Sofa View more by Ludovic Delot from Pexels" class="wp-image-235494" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Every leading lady needs a fabulous sidekick. Mine wasn’t the delightfully sassy <i>Love, Actually</i> assistant, Mia. I have a full “Hairy Board of Directors.” I am a mother of cats, four perfect creatures who demand tribute and offer unconditional moral support.</p> <p class="p1">Special mention is to my Georgia Peach, my soul cat, and a majestic Maine Coon kitty. She is the quiet observer of my grand romantic gestures and dramatic boundary-setting. She was the hairy, purring anchor during every emotional scene, reminding me that the world looks better from the top of the refrigerator, and that all problems can be temporarily solved by demanding treats. Great minds think alike in that way.</p> <p class="p1">The other three – well, they mostly just reminded me that if I collapse in pain, they might eat my face, but they’d <i>probably</i> feel bad about it later. They taught me that sometimes the best form of support is simply curling up next to someone and not judging their choice of rom-com or the staggering amount of pain relief on my bedside table.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>My Happily Ever After: Big Bear and the Matchmaking Kitty</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Loving-Supportive-Husband-Holding-Hand-of-Sad-Wife-View-more-by-dimaberlinphotos-2.jpg" alt="Loving Supportive Husband Holding Hand of Sad Wife View more by dimaberlinphotos (2)" title="Loving Supportive Husband Holding Hand of Sad Wife View more by dimaberlinphotos (2)" class="wp-image-235492" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">My life is a movie where I hit the jackpot in love, although it wasn’t always this way. In a previous subplot, my first cat, Hugo Boss, a big ginger kitty with excellent taste in suitors, actually helped me choose my husband. He just knew.</p> <p class="p1">And my husband, whom I lovingly call Big Bear, showed up this year – as he always does (truly) – in so many ways. He’s the quiet hero who doesn’t need a spotlight, but who ensures the show goes on. He’s the safe harbour when the autoimmune storm rages, the one who patiently listens to my anxiety’s dramatic monologues. Our love story is the stable, grounding storyline that balances out my personal chaos.</p> <p class="p1">And when in doubt he supplies ice-cream. And that works too.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What I Learned in the Final Reel</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">As the credits prepared to roll on my year, I looked back at the messy, beautiful montage of my life. The scenes involving severe joint pain and depressive episodes didn’t make the final cut, but their lessons certainly remained.</p> <p class="p1">I learned to be kinder to myself and those in my immediate circle. It’s a small cast, but a stellar one. I learned patience – everyone truly does get what they deserve, though sometimes the universe’s delivery schedule is slower than international airmail at Christmas.</p> <p class="p1">And the biggest takeaway? The truth will out. It always does. You can’t hide behind flimsy excuses or avoidance forever. Honesty, with others and especially yourself, sets you free. Usually in slow motion, and possibly to a Sugababes song.</p> <p class="p1">As we all prepare to dash through our respective airport terminals to meet our future selves, I gently invite you to reflect on your own blockbuster year with compassion, humour (most definitely), and a sense of closure. What was your main plot twist? Who was your unlikely sidekick? What truth finally found its way out?</p> <p class="p1">Grab a box of tissues, cue the festive music, and let’s end this year in a way that makes us feel good about what’s to come in 2026. This is our cinematic homecoming. Remember: Love (of self, boundaries, very large cats, a supportive Big Bear, and a decent pain management plan), actually, <i>is</i> all around.</p> <p class="p1">Happy reflecting and Merry Christmas!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/if-our-lives-were-a-movie/">If Our Lives Were a Movie</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/if-our-lives-were-a-movie/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>How self-worth changes the way you make decisions</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2025 14:31:36 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Corporate Wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coaching insights]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[decision making]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Navigating Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-worth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235503</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/">How self-worth changes the way you make decisions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1">Self-worth isn’t something we tend to think about day to day, yet it quietly sits behind almost every decision we make. It influences what we ask for, what we put up with and when we finally decide something needs to change. When you start to see your value more clearly, the choices you make begin to look very different.</p> <p class="p1">I learnt this during a conversation about a salary increase; an exchange that revealed far more about how I saw myself than I expected. It wasn’t really about the money. It was about the internal shift that comes from finally backing yourself. Once that shift begins, it has a way of reshaping your next steps, both at work and in the rest of your life.</p> <p class="p1">The experience didn’t start dramatically, it built slowly. That familiar mix of tiredness, frustration and feeling slightly invisible despite working incredibly hard. I’ve always hated confrontation. I would tell myself that my salary wasn’t that bad, that others had it worse, that raising it might make me look ungrateful or difficult. I kept my head down and carried on, even though something inside felt off.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The appraisal that changed everything</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/A-Woman-Working-hard-in-the-Office-View-more-by-Tima-Miroshnichenko-from-Pexels.jpg" alt="A Woman Working hard in the Office View more by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels" title="A Woman Working hard in the Office View more by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels" class="wp-image-235511" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">The pressure reached a tipping point during my annual appraisal. I had already done the groundwork. I had researched market benchmarks, spoken to trusted colleagues and gathered the data I needed to make a reasonable, well-informed case. My intention was simple: a straightforward discussion about performance and fair compensation.</p> <p class="p1">The response surprised me. I was told that if I received more money, others would have to lose out. A “limited pot” for the team suddenly became my responsibility to navigate. The implication was subtle yet powerful: <em>asking for fairness meant harming the people around me</em>.</p> <p class="p1">I walked out feeling completely deflated. My request had turned into a moral dilemma. The doubt crept in quickly, which is exactly what comments like that tend to provoke. I began questioning whether I should have raised it at all, despite knowing my figures were accurate and reasonable.</p> <p class="p1">A few hours later, a different feeling settled in. I realised I wasn’t willing to sit with that discomfort or accept the guilt that had been handed to me. I emailed HR and expressed my disappointment. That email marked the first real step in backing myself. It was a quiet refusal to accept the narrative I had been given.</p> <p class="p1">What followed was a series of conversations: first with HR, then with HR and my boss together. None of it was especially comfortable, but most things worth doing rarely are. It was somewhere in the middle of it all, that the penny dropped. The problem wasn’t my request. The problem was the system that made me feel guilty for making it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The outcome and what truly changed</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Person-Celebrating-in-Nature-with-Outstretched-Arms-View-more-by-Aflo-Images-from-アフロ（Aflo）.jpg" alt="Person Celebrating in Nature with Outstretched Arms View more by Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）" title="Person Celebrating in Nature with Outstretched Arms View more by Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">I eventually received an increase (staggered over two years). A very corporate outcome. The most meaningful change had nothing to do with money though. It happened internally. For the first time, I stopped waiting for someone else to define my worth. I stopped outsourcing that responsibility. I stood up for myself.</p> <p class="p1">It was the first time I showed up as the <i>real</i> me. Not the overly accommodating version. Not the “I’ll just cope” version. The version that quietly knew she deserved better and finally acted on it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>When self-worth grows, your life starts to reorganise itself</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">There’s something else worth saying here because it’s important. Times like these often leave us with a choice: do I stay or do I go? Do I keep trying to make the current situation work or has this experience shown me that I’ve outgrown the box I’m in?</p> <p class="p1">We often imagine that once we take a stand and “win” (whether that’s a pay increase, a promotion or some acknowledgment), things will feel better. Yet, sometimes, all it does is confirm that the box you’ve been squeezing yourself into no longer fits. That’s exactly what happened to me.</p> <p class="p1">Was I pleased with the increase? Yes, on the surface. Was it market value? No, but by then it wasn’t even about the numbers. It was about something far more internal. It was the realisation that I was <i>allowed</i> to ask for more: more money, more balance, more respect, more alignment. That shift doesn’t stay neatly contained in one corner of your life. It ripples.</p> <blockquote> <p class="p2"><b><i>Once you recognise you’re allowed to want more, it becomes very hard to un-see it.</i></b></p> </blockquote> <p class="p1">That point of showing up in my career opened a much wider door. Not long after, I left that job to take a gap year. I also ended friendships and romantic relationships that weren’t good for me. It wasn’t dramatic or chaotic. It was simply a series of decisions rooted in a new, steadier sense of self-worth.</p> <p class="p1">When you finally show up for yourself in one area of your life, you begin to show up everywhere.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why these shifts matter</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Frieda-Levycky-with-a-coffee-cup.jpg" alt="Frieda Levycky with a coffee cup" title="Frieda Levycky with a coffee cup" class="wp-image-235509" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Personal change does not usually arrive through grand gestures. Most of it is shaped by small, uncomfortable choices that you replay in your mind long after the conversation ends. Those choices quietly mark a before and after.</p> <p class="p1">Self-worth influences those decisions more than we realise. It shapes what we accept, what we ask for and when we finally choose a different path.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What coaching helped me see</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">The experience did not turn me into someone who enjoys confrontation or enters every challenging discussion with flawless confidence. What it did do was open a door to deeper self-awareness.</p> <p class="p1">Coaching helped me walk through it. It helped me separate my worth from external approval, understand the stories that held me back and recognise that showing up is a skill rather than a personality trait. Something we get better at each time we practise it.</p> <p class="p1">I see the same pattern with so many clients: most people know what they want. They’re just not convinced they’re allowed to want it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>If you’re standing at a crossroads</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Anyone who finds themselves in that uncomfortable space where something needs to change – even if the shape of the change isn’t fully clear – is not alone.</p> <p class="p1">You don’t need to be fearless. You don’t need to have a full plan. You just need to be willing to take the first step. Confidence grows from action, not the other way round.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Mailshot-CTA-images.jpg" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235507" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/">How self-worth changes the way you make decisions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>7 ways to bounce back after failure</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 24 Aug 2022 14:07:58 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[airbnb]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bounce back]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career progression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[failing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[failure before success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling down]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling like a failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[harry potter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcome disappointment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-worth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[successful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4534</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>There is nothing worse than feeling like a failure. But, there is no success without failure. Here are 7 ways to bounce back after failure.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/">7 ways to bounce back after failure</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF<span> </span><a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">What a word.</p> <p><strong><em>Failure. </em></strong></p> <p>All by its “itty-bitty” self, it conjures up feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and embarrassment. All in one go.</p> <p>As if the word itself holds the power of a hundred men and women pointing and laughing because you <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMDgmHB4znc" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tripped on a banana peel and landed flat on your backside</a>. Yes, a completely ridiculous scenario out of scenes of a slapstick comedy.</p> <p>But it does make you think – <em>why does the word hold so much power over us?</em></p> <p>Perhaps it’s because failures seem to make news headlines quicker than success stories do. Let’s be honest.</p> <p>It’s like we all thrive knowing that someone else has failed. It makes us feel good somehow. Like we are not alone in the world of mishap.</p> <p>The truth is, when I asked my husband (again – he suddenly seems to be filled with sage advice) what failure means to him, he couldn’t quite put it into words. Thinking quite hard, he described losing a job, losing a home, having no food to eat, no friends, no family. He basically described the story of Oliver Twist – <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tOkpntQtBM" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“Please Sir, I want some more”</em></a>.</p> <p>Sad to be sure. But rather generic. And devoid of what failure <em>could</em> actually mean. With all due respect to my husband.</p> <p>Why do I say this?</p> <p>Because <strong>every single person who has done anything with their lives has failed. </strong>At least twice. Sometimes more.</p> <p>Don’t believe me?</div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="900" height="708" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/image1.png" alt="" title="image1" class="wp-image-4535" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p style="text-align: center;"><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Infographic by </span><a href="https://blog.adioma.com/how-many-times-should-you-try/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Adioma</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></em></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong>Everyone has failed.</strong></h5> <p>The sheer number of quotes about failure proves this statement:</p> <ul> <li><em><strong>“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.”</strong> – </em>Coco Chanel</li> <li><em><strong>“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”</strong> – </em>Robert F. Kennedy</li> <li><em><strong>“The phoenix must burn to emerge.”</strong> – </em>Janet Fitch</li> <li><em><strong>“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want”</strong> – </em>Richard Yates</li> <li><em><strong>“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”</strong> – </em>Denis Waitley</li> <li><em><strong>“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”</strong> – </em>Winston Churchill</li> </ul> <p>And all of them – essentially – say the same thing.</p> <p>The biggest lesson we can learn is changing how we see “failure”.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The biggest success stories start off as “failures”</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Heard of Airbnb?</strong><br /> As of August 2022, Airbnb is <a href="https://ipropertymanagement.com/research/airbnb-statistics#:~:text=%20Airbnb%20Statistics%20%201%20Corporate%20revenue%20for,have%206%20million%20listings%20on%20Airbnb.%20More%20" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">valued at</a> over US$70 billion. But it wasn’t a success story overnight. It took years for this “success story” to become a reality.</p> <p>According to <a href="https://failurebeforesuccess.com/airbnb/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Failure before Success</a> and <a href="https://inc42.com/resources/airbnbs-journey-failing-startup-25-bn-company/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Inc42 </a>, it all started in 2007 when Joe Gebbia and Brian Chesky met in Rhode School of Design and rented an apartment together. Due to the high rent, the roommates tried to find some means to pay for it. After a little bit of brainstorming, they came up with an idea.</p> <p>They started with a very pedestrian website (airbedandbreakfast.com), bought three air mattresses and gave their apartment up for rent. Their first clients were two men and a woman, each paying out US$80 rent. With US$240 in hand on their very first day, Gebbia and Chesky both realized that there was something big about their idea.</p> <p>And it was about this time that they approached their former roommate Nathan Blecharczyk to develop a more professional website for their budding enterprise (Blecharczyk eventually became the third co-founder of Airbnb).</p> <p>But they hadn’t found success yet.</p> <p>With their new, “more professional” website launched in 2008, they expected big things to start happening. But no one noticed, no one blinked an eye. So, instead of admitting defeat, they decided to launch it again at the annual event of SxSW.</p> <p>Alas, the 5-day festival ended up with only two customers #epicfail (right?).</p> <p>In fact, in 2008, more than 15 investors rejected them outright. There was no growth, no revenue, no visibility, the trio’s cash was running low and things seemed hopeless. Even their close friends advised them to look for other options. The trio spent the first three months of 2009 at the <a href="https://www.startupschool.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Y Combinator Startup School</a>, but they failed to convince investors about the possibility of turning their marvelous idea into – what they believed – would be a profitable business. It was an extremely difficult time for the company.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/how-airbnb-started-infographic.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4539 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/how-airbnb-started-infographic.png" alt="" width="1024" height="798" /></a>(Infograph sourced from <a href="https://blog.adioma.com/how-airbnb-started-infographic/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Adioma</a>)</p> <p>But while brainstorming one day, they suddenly had a light bulb moment – it was the photos on the portal that really sucked. So, they rented a camera and went door-to-door in NYC, building connections with the hosts and shooting quality photos of all the leased premises. As soon as they replaced the amateur photography with high resolution photos, the revenues doubled to US$400 per week.</p> <p>In addition, in March of 2009, they decided to ditch their not-so-catchy name – “Air Bed and Breakfast “– and changed it to Airbnb – flashy, new, and so easy to say!</p> <p>Their efforts finally had paid off.</p> <p>Within a month, they got a seed investment of US$600,000 from Sequoia Capital (April 2009). Following that, they grew exponentially – the US$7.2 million Series A investment in 2010 and the next round of US$112 million investment from Andreessen Horowitz made Airbnb a Silicon Valley unicorn.</p> <p>And this was from a company who struggled to raise US$150,000 in 2008.</p> <p>Airbnb was a massive hit.</p> <p>So much so, that as of 2022, Airbnb broke its own booking record in the <a href="https://ipropertymanagement.com/research/airbnb-statistics#:~:text=%20Airbnb%20Statistics%20%201%20Corporate%20revenue%20for,have%206%20million%20listings%20on%20Airbnb.%20More%20" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">second quarter of 2022</a> when guests collectively booked 103.7 million stays (including Experiences). The gross booking value for 2022 Q2 was US$17.0 billion. There are over 150 million worldwide users who have collectively booked over 1 billion stays. Airbnb includes listings from over 100,000 cities worldwide. And those are staggering numbers from a company that struggled and struggled when they first started.</div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Heard of Harry Potter?</strong></p> <p><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Harry Potter and indeed the writer of the Wizarding World – J.K Rowling – are household names.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">But Joanne Rowland (her actual name) was not an overnight success.</span></p> <p>According to <a href="https://www.biography.com/news/jk-rowling-harry-potter-author-rags-to-riches-billionaire" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Biography</a> – <em>“Poor and almost homeless, the ‘Harry Potter’ creator eventually became the world’s first billionaire author”</em>.</p> <p>From a failed, abusive marriage, Rowland found herself alone, in an apartment which she secured after begrudgingly accepting a loan from a friend, with her infant daughter, Jessica. She found herself <em>“as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless,” </em>she became increasingly hopeless, angry about her so-called failures and immense guilt about her inability to provide for her daughter. It was at her lowest point that she contemplated suicide. She was in a bad way.</p> <p>After realizing that she had to take care of her child, she pulled herself together and tried to get her head right. For the sake of her daughter. She underwent therapy, which helped, and decided to focus on a “boy wizard who flitted through her imagination” (since 1990).</p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4552 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter.jpg" alt="" width="1920" height="1440" /></a></p> <p>She completed her first Harry Potter manuscript in 1995 and thereafter submitted a three-chapter sample of Harry Potter to an agent Christopher Little in London. But Harry Potter was rejected over a dozen times by publishing houses. <em>Harry Potter rejected? It’s hard to believe</em>. Little <em>finally </em>found a taker in a London publishing house Bloomsbury, which offered a £1,500 advance to Rowland. She also snagged a £8,000 grant from the Scottish Arts Council, enabling her to finish the next Harry Potter book on a brand-new typewriter.</p> <p>On June 26, 1997, Rowland saw her determination and typing night-after-night come to fruition with the publication of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in the U.K. But she was now known as “J.K. Rowling,” due to concerns about how boys would respond to a female writer.</p> <p>Within days of the release of the first Harry Potter, children’s publishing powerhouse Scholastic had bid more than US$100,000 for the American publishing rights (They renamed the book Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone). The highly successful sequel, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets followed a year later, and by the fall of 1998, Warner Bros. was on board with a feature-film deal.</p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter-2.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4562 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/harry-potter-2.jpg" alt="harry potter" width="1920" height="1440" /></a></p> <p>A true “rags to riches” story – Rowland became a billionaire by 2004 when Hollywood was still only halfway through eight Harry Potter films and well before the launch of another cash-cow franchise, Fantastic Beasts.</p> <p><em><strong>From almost homeless to being a billionaire. From epic failure to epic success.</strong></em></p> <p>But it is Rowland’s commencing address to Harvard where she talks about the <a href="https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2008/06/text-of-j-k-rowling-speech/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">‘The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination’</a> that really speaks to what we said earlier – <strong><em>rethinking how we see failure:</em></strong></p> <p><em>“Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So, I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.</em></p> <p><em>Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.</em></p> <p><em>So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.</em></p> <p><em>You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.</em></p> <p><em>Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.</em></p> <p><em>The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.”</em></p> <p>And I think that J.K Rowling sets out how to relook at failure far better than I ever could.</p> <p><em>(For more stories on people who have failed – epically – and then succeeded, read </em><a href="https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/15-highly-successful-people-who-failed-their-way-success.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>this</em></a><em>).</em></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>After failure – How do you pick yourself up again?</strong></h2> <p>Ok. So maybe you have failed. Maybe everything you have done and worked for thus far has not turned out the way you had planned it.</p> <p>Life is like that sometimes.</p> <p><strong><em>So, what do you do if you fail? How do you pick yourself up again?</em></strong></p> <p>As inspired by the article’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/guides/working-womans-handbook/how-to-overcome-failure" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Everyone Fails. Here’s How to Pick Yourself Back Up</a> and <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2020/10/20/seven-outstanding-ways-to-overcome-failure-and-succeed/?sh=2a6d38194200" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Seven Outstanding Ways To Overcome Failure And Succeed</a>, I have set out some pointers that can help you get back on track:</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">You are more than your mistake</strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – it’s easy to focus on your mistake. It’s easy to reprimand yourself – </span><em style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">“you could have done this better”</em><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">. It’s easy to dwell. But that would be the wrong approach. Instead, remind yourself of all the things that you have done right. No matter how small they are. Remind yourself that before this failure, you had other successes. Think about what those are so that you can try soothing the burn of a setback. The point here is not to diminish the mistake or glance over it but rather to remind yourself that this is a minor setback. You are worth more than this!</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Take a break but don’t give up</strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – when facing failure, it’s important to take time out to look inward. Identify what the possible disconnect was. Identify the root of your mistake. Look at ways that you can do it differently next time. Draw up an action plan if you need to. Because it’s only after you have addressed the mistake that you can move forward. It’s only then that you have a chance to succeed. Don’t give up.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Try again</strong> – some say that success comes from living outside of your comfort zone. In order to do that, you need your drive to succeed to outweigh your fear of failure. So, do just that – dream big and let those dreams carry you as you move towards your goals.</p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4555 size-full" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/dream-big.jpg" alt="dream big" width="1920" height="1440" /></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Own your mistakes</strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – it’s all too easy to point the finger of blame elsewhere. </span><em style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">“I didn’t succeed because x happened”</em><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">. But if you do that, how do you learn? And by blaming something or someone else, you may even end up repeating the same mistake in the future. And who wants that? Instead, own up to your mistake and your part in it. Take the lesson gained from that admission and apply it to your life so that the past is not repeated.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Practice self-compassion</strong> – I know when I fail or make a mistake, I’m extremely hard on myself. I’m my worst critic. I’m sure that a lot of you reading this are the same way. But what if it was your friend that was going through this? What would you tell them? I’m sure you would be kind, supportive and compassionate. After all, it’s one set back. Not the end of the world. So, practice the same compassion towards yourself. Being hard on yourself can cause immense stress and anxiety (I’m speaking from experience here). So, instead of being harsh and critical, be kind. Be gentle. And treat yourself how you would treat others – compassionately. Dealing with a setback is hard enough without the self-criticism!</div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Practice risk taking</strong> – Eleanor Roosevelt once said:<em> “Do something that scares you every day.” </em>And that’s all well and good. But perhaps a little “higher grade” for those of us who haven’t quite yet mastered the “art of failing”. So, instead of doing something that completely freaks you out, why not start small? Here are a few suggestions on less adrenalin inducing activities, which will still help you as you learn that failing is not the end of the world:</p> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Practice being alone – </strong>enjoy a meal for one at a new restaurant. Better still, be brave and order a glass of wine whilst you do!</li> </ul> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/1202841364506607.Bx4LqNVPXopUQQbyvUew_height640.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="360" height="480" class="wp-image-4543 aligncenter" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/1202841364506607.Bx4LqNVPXopUQQbyvUew_height640.jpg" alt="" /></a></p> <p><em>Dinner for One: Green Lip Mussels and a glass of Chardonnay at the <a href="https://peppertreerestaurant.co.nz/">Pepper Tree Restaurant & Bar</a>, Coromandel, New Zealand</em></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Try a new activity</strong> – like ice-skating or horse riding. Something a little out of your comfort zone. But still fun. Please be sure to do any new activity with a professional – we wouldn’t want you to cause physical injury to yourself just to experience a new activity!</li> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Be bold</strong> – when booking your next trip ask for an upgrade in accommodation. Give it a whirl and see what your negotiation skills are like.</li> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Gain a new skill</strong> – have you changed a tyre by yourself? Do you know how to crochet? Or perhaps, pottery is on the cards for you. Pick one and give it a shot. You have nothing to lose.</li> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Seek like-minded people</strong><em> – </em>failure, especially when you are hard on yourself, can be hard to deal with on your own. Instead of bearing down and ‘going at it alone”, seek out people that are like-minded, that can rally around you. Seek support from others who may have been in your shoes or are currently going through all the feels too. Having a support system is key.</li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Seek outside help</strong><em> – </em>sometimes it’s extremely hard to see through all the fog, to see the forest for the trees. Sometimes you need some outside, unbiased perspective to help you get through the muddy water. Contact <strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a></strong> and set up a call with Frieda Levycky who can take you through some practical and actionable steps to get you out of your failure rut and ultimately on the road where you can achieve success.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>Whilst doing any of the activities suggested above, please remember that lasting change doesn’t come easily. It takes work. It takes practice. Sometimes change is a result of the small things that you have done along the way. Don’t beat yourself up. Try a few new things, try taking small risks and see where that gets you. After all, you often need to master the basics before you can move on to the next round. Think of these suggestions as the basics. As baby steps. And go from there…</p> <p> </p> <h2><strong>Final thoughts on failure</strong></h2> <p>As Paulo Coelho said –</p> <p><strong><em>“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” </em></strong></p> <p>Don’t give up on your dreams because of mistake, a failure, a setback – whatever you want to call it. Get back on that horse and try and try again!</p> <p>Every single person fails at some point in their life. The supporting evidence is overwhelming.</p> <p>Failure is just an “itty-bitty” little word. <em>It does not define you! </em>And what’s more – it is inevitable.</p> <p>Remember what J.K Rowling said –</p> <p><strong><em>“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”</em></strong></p> <p>So, then, by all means – fail.</p> <p>Because at least it means you will be living. But remember to dust yourself off and get back up again.</p> <p>Because giving up is not an option!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3>FURTHER READING</h3> <p>If you enjoyed this article, take a read of the previous article: “<a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/what-is-success/">What is Success?</a>“</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_2 et_pb_divider_position_center et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email:<span> </span><a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/">7 ways to bounce back after failure</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>