<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>self-love Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/self-love/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/self-love/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Fri, 28 Jul 2023 05:10:43 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>self-love Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/self-love/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>10 Tips to Restore Balance When Life Feels Out of Control</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 22 Jun 2023 18:31:14 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a balanced life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enhance your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling out of control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gaining control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[regaining control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[restore balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[say no]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5569</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/">10 Tips to Restore Balance When Life Feels Out of Control</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br />Life can be overwhelming.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With our day-to-day jobs, our hobbies, our families, and our digital lives, our to-do lists grow ever bigger. Suddenly it feels like we are swimming and swimming but failing to reach the shore. And life – inevitably – begins to feel a little out of control.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It happens. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But when it does, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are many of us swimming – all at once – with our respective shores firmly in our focus. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some of us require inflatable “</span><a href="https://www.speedo.co.za/kids/accessories/swimming-aids" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">armbands</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">” to help with the swimming, knowing that these are just aids to help us get to where we are going. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These armbands can be in the form of seeking professional support in the form of coaching – Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is perfectly poised to lend a hand when you feel the reins on your life begin to slip. Or perhaps these armbands come in the form of support from a medical professional like a</span><a href="https://www.sacap.edu.za/blog/applied-psychology/what-does-a-psychologist-do/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> <span style="font-weight: 400;">psychologist</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or </span><a href="https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-psychiatry#:~:text=A%20psychiatrist%20is%20a%20medical,psychiatric%20help%20for%20many%20reasons." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">psychiatrist</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whichever armband works for you, works for you. There is no right or wrong way (not really) to gain control over your life. Sure, the thought of seeking professional support can be overwhelming, too “serious”. So, instead of giving you a long list of people you should see or how you can rein in the reins, we thought it may be better to simply set out some tips to get you on your way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Simple. And to the point (because when you’re busy, short and sweet is the ticket). </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-3.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (3)" class="wp-image-5580" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>10 tips to regain control</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we look at restoring balance in our lives it encompasses our normal daily routines (which will include our online habits) as well as how we approach both our professional commitments and our personal ones too – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Don’t start your day by looking at your phone</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– for a lot of us the first thing we do when we open our eyes is look at our mobile phones/tablets. And suddenly, the number of things we need to do, the meetings that may be coming up in the next day or so, World News (which can often be negative), social media posts about people who look like they are living their best lives (while not actually working), all come flooding in. And suddenly you feel overwhelmed.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Where do you even begin?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And this is before you even leave your bedroom. Its enough to send anyone diving back under the covers. Give yourself a break – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">who needs to take on all that first thing in the morning?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Instead, start off your day with a good old stretch, take a quick walk around your area, meditate, enjoy a good healthy breakfast (whatever that means for you). Add a positive daily affirmation to your routine (</span><a href="https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Oprah’s 40 Positive Affirmations</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> are a great source of inspiration). Start your day on the correct mindful footing. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Set your goals</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– as you begin your day, start by writing things down. Often the simple practice of putting pen to paper engages your brain and you can then start to put the puzzle pieces together. Once you have made a couple of notes, start aligning them to the projects you are working on. And then out of all of that, extract the top two or three most pressing things. Make them a priority. Then with your notes and list in hand, set out your achievable (practical) game plan.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Remember “charity starts at home”</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– working on the man, woman or person in the mirror first should always be your top priority. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get your house in order first.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> In other words, while you set your goals for the day, consider how you are going to achieve them </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">in a way that makes sense</span></i> <b><i>FOR YOU</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Add yourself into the mixture of “most pressing things”. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What do you need to do for yourself</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">? Is that going to yoga or gym every morning? Is it escaping into nature for a walk twice a week? Is it finding time for a coffee with a friend once a week? Mentally picture your day </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the way you want it to be</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and then </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">make time for the things that are most important</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. That includes </span><b>YOU</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-4.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (4)" class="wp-image-5581" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Once you’ve set goals, simplify them </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– yes, this does sound counterintuitive but it’s important that when you set your goals for the day you look at </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how you can simplify them</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. How can you make your tasks easier? Perhaps you need to ask for help on a project. Perhaps you need to bring in some extra hands. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. After all, this is about ensuring you get what you need to do and get it done in a way that is simple. That is easy. And that brings a little control back into your life. You can’t do it all alone.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Be ok with that.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Set boundaries</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– this is an important one (especially for the ones that possibly say yes more than they say no). You need to set boundaries between work time and personal time. Especially if you are working from home. Make a conscious decision on what time you will start and end your workday. What time you will take your lunch break. Make a conscious decision whether you will take calls, answer WhatsApp’s or emails after work hours. </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">And then stick to that</span></i></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Fervently guard your personal and private time. There are very few things that truly warrant a necessary and urgent intrusion on your personal time. By clearly setting your boundaries, you can regain control of your own life. You can restore balance – and in that balance – you can feel peace. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Work is an important part of your life – especially when you love what you do – but </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">family and self-care are just as important. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Always</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> keep that in mind. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><strong>Learn to say yes to you and no to others</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– there is a certain power in saying “no” to others. One you will come to appreciate the more you do so. Saying no helps you to maintain the equilibrium you need. Stop doing things out of guilt or obligation. Instead, make more room in your life for the activities that are meaningful to you and that bring you joy. But saying “no” is only part of this equation. You need to learn to say “yes” more to the things that you need. It’s important to have fun, to relax, to spend meaningful time with your friends and family. In fact, it’s essential to a balanced life. Therefore – like with setting boundaries – make sure that you set aside time each day for an activity that you enjoy and set aside one night each week for something you know will rejuvenate you.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-1.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (1)" class="wp-image-5578" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Let things go</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – as you mindfully plan your day and envision how you want it to turn out, you will often find that the things that you thought “have to get done” no longer </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">need to be done</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. At least not in the time frame you first believed. Is it necessary to work until midnight to put the final touches on a report or on a draft contract? Do you really need to wake up at 4am just to get everything done in the day? Start by recognising the things that don’t really have much impact on your work (and your life) and then allow yourself to let them go. It’s hard. But being strict about this will help with balance and gaining control.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8.jpg" alt="" title="8" class="wp-image-1883" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Rest</i> </strong><b>–</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> we often neglect our health, ignoring the niggles here and there and chalk them down to “overdoing it”. But the truth is, your body needs down time to restore, to replenish and to unwind. Even if that means for an hour during your day you read a chapter from your new book. Don’t ignore the niggles that can turn into big no-no’s. Rest when you need to. This includes planning for holidays. They are important – staycations included. So, plan ahead and schedule your holidays. If you are able to, a regular meditation practice is a great way to take a mind break and bring yourself back into balance. And if you can’t meditate, perhaps just a quiet moment to yourself with a cup of tea will do. The point is – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">give your mind a break.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9.jpg" alt="" title="9" class="wp-image-1884" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Concentrate on personal wellness – </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">put positive habits like fitness and reading above the hectic work schedule. Placing importance on wellness can bring about a sense of normalcy, making it easier to concentrate on work when things feel a little out of control. Personal wellness includes communicating your stress or mental health struggles with those that can help. If you feel overwhelmed by your workload, raise it as an issue. Communication is key. And getting help even more so. You are replaceable at work but not at home. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/10.jpg" alt="" title="10" class="wp-image-1885" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><i>Be fluid and flexible</i></strong><b><i> –</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> sometimes all our best laid plans are for naught. Life is unpredictable. Things happen. And even our most mindful to-do lists that tick all the right boxes to regain balance and control, fall apart. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Learn that that’s ok.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Be flexible and fluid enough to know that opportunities come and go. And move forward from that point. Regroup. Replan. And redo. Life can change significantly from one day to another. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Learn to have vision and know that sometimes starting over is ok. </span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/restore-balance-2.jpg" alt="" title="restore balance (2)" class="wp-image-5579" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing that needs to be driven home – while there are things you can do to bring balance and restore a sense of control in your life, it doesn’t mean you have to do everything we have set out above. That can also cause overwhelm and turn a mission of restoring balance into one that does not achieve the equilibrium we so often desire. Not ideal.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take deep breaths. The purpose of this article is to help you, not hinder you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Author Nick Harkaway said – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Peace is not a state – it is a choice, and you have to remake it every day. It’s possible to get a sort of stability, a habit of peace, but it’s like an egg balanced, spinning, on its point: lose your momentum, and your equilibrium is gone, too”.</span></em></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Achieving balance in your life is a process. Often a journey filled with a hundred small steps. So, take one small step each day towards attaining balance, towards achieving control over your life – especially when life feels so out of control. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But remember this – we simply can’t control </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">every</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> aspect of our lives (despite wanting to). As we know – life happens. Shit happens. And we often need to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">roll with the punches</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. That may not seem very comforting, but it actually is. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because – while we can’t control every aspect of our lives, it doesn’t mean we can’t </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">work towards </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">achieving </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a better balance, a better sense of equilibrium</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a better sense of the calmness we crave</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We’re not saying you should aim to achieve a 50/50 work-life balance– because that’s not entirely realistic. What we are saying is this – </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Don’t always favour one aspect of your life and neglect another e.g. work over family or health/fitness over time with friends. Every aspect of your life needs attention.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Don’t always put others’ needs before your own needs. You matter. </span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, nurture each aspect of your life with care, knowing when to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">say yes to the things you need</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">no to the things that you simply cannot do.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/BASIC-BALANCE.jpg" alt="" title="BASIC BALANCE" class="wp-image-1945" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/">10 Tips to Restore Balance When Life Feels Out of Control</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-to-restore-balance-when-life-feels-out-of-control/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2023 10:47:42 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[make yourself a priority]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health advocate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[priorities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[priority]]></category> <category><![CDATA[respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-prioritization]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you are your priority]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5230</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>A heart-felt and deeply personal reflection about the importance of self-love, self-care and self-respect.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/">It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" target="_blank" rel="noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s the month of love and around the world people are oohing and aahing over Valentine’s Day cards and meals out with their loved ones.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a time for </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Rom Coms galore</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, chocolates and even a glass of bubbly or two. Because you know – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">we are celebrating love in all its glory.</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cupid doing his thing and living his best life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The funny thing is, whether in a relationship or not, we kind of miss the point. We are so used to expressing love outwardly and for other people that we completely neglect the love that we should be exercising for ourselves inwardly. Self-love. Self-care. Self-respect.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These three things are all interconnected. And they are all about the Self.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because if you have respect for yourself and care for yourself, ultimately you are showing love for yourself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that’s where I think Cupid sometimes misses the mark. Because, let’s be honest, taking a leaf out of the magnificent Ru Paul’s book – </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=ru+paul+if+you+cant+love+yourself+how+in+the+hell&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&oq=ru+paul+if+you+cant+love+yourself+how+in+the+hell+&aqs=chrome..69i57.11422j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:2dcb2826,vid:kyarSnDGHuE" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”. </span></i></a></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Can I get an “Amen” up in here?</span></i></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-3.png" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (3)" class="wp-image-5242" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>But, self-love? I’m a complete hypocrite.</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If I seem like I have everything all wrapped up in one big bow with my (excuse the language) shite together – that would be a big fat lie. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I don’t. Far from it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You see, when it comes to expressing self-love, I am the absolute worst at it. So, basically I’m a hypocrite – writing all about self-love, care and respect when I don’t do any of that for myself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Then again, it’s always so much easier to advise others on how to live their best life without doing so yourself…. It makes you think, doesn’t it?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The truth is, I’m pretty hard on myself. I put immense pressure on myself to do better, to do more, to be more, to give more. Constantly. It always feels like I’m filling other people’s cups up while my own runs dry. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If we are being honest here. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is truer now – over the last couple of weeks – than ever before. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sure, life happens and sometimes we do need to put others’ needs before our own. But the big question is – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how often does this really happen? </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For me personally and as much as I love my partner, my family and my friends (and am immensely grateful for all of them), I would probably guess that putting others’ needs before my own happens more often than not. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s no wonder that I’m kind of feeling like a big cloud is hanging over my head and it’s starting to drizzle. With no raincoat or umbrella, not even Cupid’s arrow can help me now.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, putting my “big girl panties on”, it’s time to take some action. And refill my own cup. After all – there’s a universal rule (especially in aviation) – you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you. Sure, this may sound selfish. Putting yourself before others. But it’s also very, very necessary.</span></p> <p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cobpj3KoOoV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Make yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. At the end of the day, YOU are your longest commitment” – </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Easy Wisdom</span></a></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ain’t that the truth! YOU are your longest and greatest commitment, so why not make yourself a priority? Why not do things for yourself?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The answer is simple (and it should be easy) – there is absolutely no reason not to. If everyone else is getting in the way of doing that or all your commitments have become too much for you to cope with, then you need to start making some room.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-4.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (4)" class="wp-image-5241" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How do we exercise self-love, self-care and self-respect?</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Beatles once crooned </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=all+you+need+is+love&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&oq=all+you+need+is+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i271.4432j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:1409702f,vid:_7xMfIp-irg" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">“All you need is love”</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and while I can (almost) wholeheartedly agree, it’s the all you need is </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">self-love</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> part that is missing. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I need to fall in love with </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">myself </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">again.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In order to do that – and for me – I always need to understand what it is (at its core) that I am trying to do. Falling in love with other people, like my hubby, was easy. I know how to do that. But finding and falling in love with myself is a whole different ball game. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, to begin the self-love journey, I need to understand what “self-love” truly means. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to the </span><a href="https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Brain and Behavior Research Foundation</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, self-love is defined as follows – </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">seems</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> straight forward enough… supporting our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. But I’m still not 100% sure </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to go about doing that.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, here’s what I’m going try …</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-5.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (5)" class="wp-image-5240" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>7 Steps to falling in love with yourself</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to do more of what makes me happy</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">like reading, writing (for myself) and getting back into painting and sculpting. Take a pottery class. Go to gym more often – it helps burn off some of my anxiety. I need to take more long baths and enjoy a glass of wine if I feel like it – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">damn the judgement! </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I need to do more of the things that make me happy. Even if – perhaps especially if – I do them alone (my husband does not like sculpting and has no desire for a </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-MxKd1WY2k" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Patrick Swayze and Demo Moore Ghost moment</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">I also need to understand that </span><strong>s</strong><i><strong>ometimes not doing something is exactly what I should be doing</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– nothing. We are only human after all. And despite recently going 46 hours without sleep (I don’t recommend this), we all need to and should turn off. When you are a busy person and feel like you are all over the place, doing nothing feels counterintuitive. But trust me when I say that it’s also necessary. I find it almost impossible and will forever have my grandmother’s words in my head – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You only lie on the bed when you are sick. Otherwise, you must be outside and playing or doing something. Make something out of your day.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> But that</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> why I feel like the </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gDCAEyLABo" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Duracell Bunny </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">most of the time. And while it is sage advice – if taken holistically – it doesn’t help when I feel overwhelmed, forget who I am and what I want out of life. It’s time to put a stop to that. At once. It’s time to simply take deep breaths, light a candle and chill the f**k out! </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-6.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (6)" class="wp-image-5239" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to be more mindful and practice daily mindfulness</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in the form of being completely present in a single moment. Instead of worrying about what the future holds or being anxious about what I should have done or could have done, I need to focus my attention on the here and now. I need to pay attention to and focus on how I’m feeling, what my body is telling me and become more aware of what I want, think and feel. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Working on my bad habits</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is also something I need to address – it’s all too easy to place reliance on “something” in order to get through a stressful day. Or to make ourselves feel better. I have done that more than I care to admit. Especially recently. Whether that’s a (small) tub of </span><a href="https://paulshomemade.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Paul’s Homemade Ice-cream</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (yes, it’s amazing!) or anti-anxiety medication or even that glass of wine. We all (myself included) need to understand that these bad(ish) habits don’t serve us and instead, we need to (I need to) replace them with ones that do. That can be tough to work out. And often the best course of action is to seek guidance from a professional about how to go about doing this – like </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">working with Frieda Levycky</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> as an example. I need to truly practice self-care in the form of healthy eating habits, physical activity and (if I can muster the patience), meditation. Taking care of myself as a whole, rather than simply focus on one bad habit. A holistic approach to self-love</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Being kind to myself and setting some healthy boundaries</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">are key for me. I have recently experienced some very harsh, cruel and horrible criticism from someone I loved and trusted, at a time when I lost a family member and have been feeling at my lowest point. The things that were said are unforgivable and they truly and very deeply broke my heart. It’s part of the reason I was unable to sleep for 46 hours. The thing is, what was said </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">was</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> cruel and hurtful (beyond what I believed a close family member would say) but they also </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">weren’t true</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. That person was going through their own grief and guilt and lashed out at the person that they believed could take it. Possibly because I have before. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing is, I have never said “no” before. I’ve never felt that it was ok to tell someone that their words had hurt me or that their actions were not acceptable. I haven’t put up boundaries before. So doing it now (seemingly “all of a sudden”) has been a bitter pill for others to swallow. But it’s been necessary. You see, it’s often so much easier to believe the negative things, the cruel things, the degrading things about ourselves, than to believe all the good stuff about who we are inside. The things I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> done, the people I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">helped, the work I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">done and what I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> accomplished, the love I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">do</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> give to others. I have forgotten about all the successes. All because one person told me I wasn’t worthy. Being kind to myself also means sticking up for myself. Saying no. And not taking the hurt. So, yes, I need to start setting some healthy boundaries.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-1.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (1)" class="wp-image-5244" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to practice positive self-talk.</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And no, this doesn’t mean I will be walking around my house talking aloud to myself (which I already do btw), I mean more of outwardly saying “I love myself” without feeling embarrassed or believing myself to be self-centered or narcissistic. I need to stop the self-criticism and start believing more in who I am and what I have done. I also need to give myself room to forgive myself. Consistently punishing myself for saying something out of turn or for making a small mistake is just not healthy. I have to learn that I am just human, I am flawed, I have imperfections. I need to learn to love my humanness.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to weed out the toxic people in my life</i></strong><i> </i><strong><i>– </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">this may be a little bit of repetition but it is important for my own self-worth. While setting my healthy boundaries, I also need to start protecting myself against toxic people. If I can (and this is sometimes easier said than done), I need to dismiss or avoid them as often as I can. I need to start cutting them out of my life. Again, easier in principle. But the toxicity only brings me down, it sucks the energy from me and leaves me completely flat. Unable to love myself. I need to start recognizing that anyone who shoves me into the dark so they can have my light, anyone that continually criticizes me or stops me from being me, needs to hit the road. I need to stop giving people second and third chances. I need to walk away. Instead, I need to surround myself with people who build me up and support me, not those who thrill in my misfortune.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now, I’m not saying those 7 steps are the be all and end all of falling in love with myself again. Even starting with just one of those steps above would be a huge start. I can see how all of that change in one go is likely to feel quite overwhelming. It’s going to take some time. And work. It’s going to take me having an active role in my </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">own</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> happiness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But they </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">are</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> steps in the right direction.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Falling in love with someone else is amazing, staying in love takes work but loving yourself is the most important thing any of us can do – we are our longest commitments.</span><strong><i> It’s time to put in the work.</i></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now not to be facetious or weird about it, but tonight I’m going to run a bubble bath, pour myself a glass of bubbly, put on my favorite song and have a date with myself.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But that’s me and my journey. How are you going to start loving yourself? What one thing can you do right now that is solely for your own happiness? Go on, do it. And then, every day, do it that little bit more. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Copy-of-linkedin-filler-pictures-2.jpg" alt="" title="Copy of linkedin filler pictures (2)" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: [email protected] </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/">It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>