<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Personal awareness Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/personal-awareness/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/personal-awareness/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2024 06:20:12 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Personal awareness Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/personal-awareness/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs: Overcoming Obstacles to Personal Growth</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/breaking-through-limiting-beliefs-overcoming-obstacles-to-personal-growth/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/breaking-through-limiting-beliefs-overcoming-obstacles-to-personal-growth/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2024 05:06:34 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[believe in yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of being controlled]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[limiting beliefs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[not good enough]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[what's holding you back]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5872</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/breaking-through-limiting-beliefs-overcoming-obstacles-to-personal-growth/">Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs: Overcoming Obstacles to Personal Growth</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span><span style="color: #be9727;"></span></h5> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m not good enough to lead a team.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">My work doesn’t measure up to my colleagues. </span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m too reserved to speak in front of an audience.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">[Insert sabotaging thought here.] </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all have them. Thoughts about ourselves that are unkind. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all possess an inner voice that is perhaps not always the most supportive. Because let’s face it – we are all our own worst enemy. Getting in our own way. Often the biggest obstacle in our lives is how we truly see ourselves. Because how we see ourselves reflects how we see the world. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And our mindset, our beliefs on how the world works, can be the biggest obstacles in achieving what we want to achieve. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We call these restrictive thoughts and ideas “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">limiting beliefs</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>More about limiting beliefs</b></h2> <p><a href="https://asana.com/resources/limiting-beliefs" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Asana</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, defines a limiting belief as follows – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“A limiting belief is a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in some way. These beliefs are often false accusations you make about yourself that can cause a number of negative results”.</span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These limiting beliefs are not always just about ourselves either. Often, they can be about how the world works, certain ideas about situations, and how you interact with different people.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And the result of these limiting beliefs? You limit yourself from becoming. Becoming whatever it is that you want to become. You shoot your own ideas down before they’ve even had time to ruminate in your own thoughts. They can keep you in a negative state of mind, preventing you from encountering new opportunities and life experiences while wreaking havoc on your mental health. </span></p> <p><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-are-limiting-beliefs" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">BetterUp</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> describes limiting beliefs as follows – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Limiting beliefs can change your life, but not always for the better. They create self-awareness that stops you from chasing after your dreams, forming healthy relationships with people, and creating change in any area of your life. </span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And quite frankly – that sucks!</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Blog-Breaking-Through-Limiting-Beliefs-3.jpg" alt="" title="Blog - Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs (3)" class="wp-image-5896" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Where do these limiting beliefs come from?</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As children we often believe that we can do anything and be anyone. Just think about a 4-year-old in a batman costume – they’re ready to take on the world. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But something happens as we grow older. Doubt creeps in. Fears rear their ugly heads. And suddenly we forget about ourselves in the proverbial batman costume. We forget the feeling of utter confidence and self-belief. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This change in self-perception can happen for a number of reasons – </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Personal beliefs</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the things we personally experience. These can be things that happen on a day-to-day basis as well as big life events. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></li> <p><b></p> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Family</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the things our family believes and how we were raised. It plays a significant role in how we navigate life and the working world. Sometimes it defines who we are and other times it ensures we become the opposite.<br /> </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Religious beliefs</strong> – <span style="font-weight: 400;">what we believe in and the rules that we follow because of our religious beliefs often influence how we go out into the world and how we go about navigating life. Our faith provides great moral guidance and support to our lives, but rigid application without challenging religious teachings can prevent us from seeing the world from multiple perspectives.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Education</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">it’s often the case</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">that we admire our teachers, and those from whom we learn. So, it’s understandable that we would absorb their ideas and beliefs. Often trying our best to mimic them. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Friends</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the people we mix with. How do they see the world? And do you subscribe to the same beliefs? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Society</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – popular opinion, especially on social media, can impose impossible standards on us.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Fear of failure</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">the excuses you make up in order to stop yourself from acting in your own best interests. </span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Blog-Breaking-Through-Limiting-Beliefs-4.jpg" alt="" title="Blog - Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs (4)" class="wp-image-5897" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Discovering what your limiting beliefs are is not always so easy or so obvious. Sometimes we are not entirely sure how we may be limiting ourselves. We haven’t really taken notice of what thoughts could be contributing to our own limitations. But there is a way to discover what they could be – </span></p> <p><strong><i>Step 1:</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">think about something you may tell yourself all the time. If you are struggling to think of something, ask a friend or family member for help. </span></p> <p><strong>Step 2:</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">write it down on a piece of paper, make it real. </span></p> <p><strong><i>Step 3:</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">how do you feel about the statement? Does it feel true? Is it helping you? How does it make you feel? Would you make that statement to a friend or colleague?</span></p> <p><strong><i>Step 4: </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> how will you deal with it? Will you keep the piece of paper? Will you throw it away? The way you deal with the piece of paper should be the way you deal with the thought. </span></p> <p><strong><i>Step 5:</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">Consider how abandoning the thought would make a difference to your life. Would you push yourself to take the job, give the speech, lead the team? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now it’s time to put the above into action. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Overcoming obstacles to personal growth</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Limiting beliefs are often defence mechanisms we use to protect ourselves from pain. Your subconscious could remember past negative experiences and the limiting beliefs are ways you try to prevent getting hurt again. That can be hard. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it’s important to remember that these subconscious boundaries can lead to mental health issues like imposter syndrome, stress, and anxiety. And those are not issues you want to cause yourself over a belief that holds no merit. So, while the above steps are a good way to come to terms with your limiting beliefs and what you are going to do with them, the next logical step is how you will overcome the obstacles you have put in your own way. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Blog-Breaking-Through-Limiting-Beliefs-5.jpg" alt="" title="Blog - Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs (5)" class="wp-image-5898" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a difficult thing to do – coming to terms with the ways you are preventing yourself from taking the next step. And it’s a hard thing admitting that you have been the cause of it. We get that. So, to help you, we have set out some steps you can take in order to overcome the obstacles preventing your personal growth – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Start with challenging your current limiting beliefs</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – from the steps above you will already have identified what your limiting beliefs are and what you want and need to do with them. Now you need to challenge yourself. Challenge how you think, challenge how you got to the thoughts you did and challenge yourself to do away with them.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Plan</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– once you have challenged yourself, it’s time to put words into action. Know what you want to do with your thoughts and how you can go about achieving the very thing your beliefs were stopping you from achieving. Now make a plan. Assess the optimal outcomes and plan how you’re going to achieve them. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Be realistic</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– sure we want you to change your inner dialogue but there’s one thing being overly optimistic about something and an entirely different thing to make a plan that’s actually achievable. Don’t set yourself up to fail by having unreasonable expectations. Instead manage your expectations and take a grounded approach to your plans. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Don’t compare yourself to others</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– this is key. Those of us that have imposter syndrome will understand the weight of comparing ourselves to other people. Remember that we are all unique individuals fighting our own battles. We all have our own goals and what we want to achieve in life. Likewise, we will all have different plans on how to achieve our goals. Taking advice is one thing, but comparing yourself to someone else is a sure way to see yourself fail before even getting started.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Blog-Breaking-Through-Limiting-Beliefs-6.jpg" alt="" title="Blog - Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs (6)" class="wp-image-5899" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Feel all the feels</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s one thing being optimistic and having a sunny disposition, it’s an entirely different story when you are masking how you really feel. Emotions can be hard to deal with at the best of times. We understand that. But don’t put a plaster over how you feel thinking that your attitude will change everything. Explore your emotions. Feel your feels.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Ask for help</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– this is an important one. As you explore your thoughts and feelings, you may encounter certain emotions that have you stumped. Not knowing which way to turn. You don’t have to “go at it alone”. Get help. Whether you speak to a professional, like Freida Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, or you seek the counsel of a friend, get help. You are not alone. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Keep it simple</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– keep your end goal in mind but understand that your plans don’t need to be bombastic. Easy does it. Sometimes what you want to achieve can seem massive and that, in itself, can be overwhelming. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, break things down into smaller, bite-sized chunks. Deal with one obstacle at a time. Eventually, by continuously working towards your goals – managing one thing at a time – you will get there. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8.jpg" alt="" title="8" class="wp-image-1883" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Adopt positive affirmations</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– this may seem a little cliché but having a positive affirmation can help drown out the negative commentary in your head. Instead, combat negative thoughts by reframing them into positive ones. For example, change “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I can’t lead a team</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” to “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before I can lead a team, I still have some learning to do</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9.jpg" alt="" title="9" class="wp-image-1884" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Don’t give up</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– consistency is key. With everything really. But most importantly here. Going after one’s goals, with the best laid plans in tow, doesn’t mean it will be easy. You may fail. You may trip and fall. That’s ok. Get up again, dust yourself off and realise that failure can be a learning experience. Think to yourself – “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ok that’s how </span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">not</span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to do something</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”, make a note of what you learnt and move on. You owe it to yourself to continue on the path you chose for yourself. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Blog-Breaking-Through-Limiting-Beliefs-1.jpg" alt="" title="Blog - Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs (1)" class="wp-image-5894" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As always, you don’t have to implement everything we have set out above. But what you do need to do is change your mindset and then act accordingly – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop.” – </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dieter F. Uchtdorf </span></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Remember it’s our determination to succeed and to overcome that is the most important thing. Sure, we are influenced by the world around us. But it’s how we see ourselves and it’s how we go after the things that we want that are important. If there’s anything this article should leave you with, it’s this – believe in yourself, believe in what you can do, take the time you need and you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">will</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> succeed. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/10-ways-how-to-overcome-challenges/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">University of the People</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.fullsailpartners.com/fspblog/bid/363719/7-ways-to-overcome-obstacles" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Full Sail Partners</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.alden-mills.com/blog/2022/05/seven-ways-to-overcome-obstacles-and-find-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Alden Mills</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.pushfar.com/article/6-steps-to-breaking-your-limiting-beliefs/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Push Far</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://yourtimetogrow.com/break-limiting-beliefs-start-believing/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Your Time to Grow</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://asana.com/resources/limiting-beliefs" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Asana</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-are-limiting-beliefs" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">BetterUp</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image" class="wp-image-3291" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/breaking-through-limiting-beliefs-overcoming-obstacles-to-personal-growth/">Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs: Overcoming Obstacles to Personal Growth</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/breaking-through-limiting-beliefs-overcoming-obstacles-to-personal-growth/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Self-Help Conundrum</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-self-help-conundrum/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-self-help-conundrum/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 30 Jul 2023 15:11:58 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Counselling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional intelligence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[goal setting]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Growth mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inspiration]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Positive thinking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[productivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-help books]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-improvement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Therapy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Well-being]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5595</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Are you a lover or hater of self-help books? Join Alicia and me as we explore the pros and cons of the self-help world.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-self-help-conundrum/">The Self-Help Conundrum</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>CO-WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://www.bravingboundaries.com/">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span>, AND ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /> Self-help books seem to divide the world into two camps (a bit like Marmite): The lovers and the haters.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I hadn’t realised this until I suggested to Alicia that we write a joint article on the self-help books which have shaped our lives and our careers. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I don’t believe in self-help books</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”, came the response. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Really?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”, I asked in surprise.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Nope. It really annoys me that anyone (often with no qualifications whatsoever) thinks its ok to tell you that if you ‘follow my method’ or ‘learn from my experience’ you can be more successful, thinner, happier … you name it.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hmmm… she has a point. But, I think it is a little unfair to smash self-help books as a whole. I personally see a lot of value in them.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, instead of proposing a list of self-help books that have changed our lives, we have decided to provide a narrative on the pros and cons of the self-help world.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We hope you read both sides of the argument and challenge your existing beliefs. Maybe you find that self-help books do have their place and could be beneficial for you? Or maybe you realise that self-help books can only get you so far and that sometimes investing in external support is required. That’s up to you though. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We just hope you enjoy the read. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Self-help books – The non-believers (Alicia’s viewpoint)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Self-help-books-3.jpg" alt="" title="Self help books (3)" class="wp-image-5618" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other day I was browsing in my favourite bookshop. Walking around the store I read title after title and found myself – quite unexpectedly – in the Self-Help section.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Not my usual preference. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As I stood there looking at the rows of “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">How-To’s”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do-You’s?” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I admit to having a certain degree of curiosity. Enough to find myself picking up one book and reading the back of it. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To summarise – the book promised to help guide you through “some of your most difficult times and help you find a place of serenity and happiness”. I’m paraphrasing here because it said a lot more than that. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was a tall undertaking by the author (who shall remain nameless) – all for the nominal price of ZAR680. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This book promised to do what no other psychiatrist or clinical psychologist would promise (especially in one session and especially to that degree of certainty). And at an absolute bargain – considering that the going rate for a mental health professional has a far heftier price tag. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That got me thinking – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">who are the people extracting the most value out of these self-help books? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">And</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> how effective are they? </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As a non-believer in the self-help movement, I think it’s only fair that I apply some reason and scientific analysis to my approach or face – perhaps – missing out on the greatest invention of all time.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the sheer volume of titles on the Self-Help shelves there </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">must be </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">quite a tally of bodies that flock to the stores, that sign up for the newsletters and that attend the “sold-out” shows of the latest “Guru”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If there weren’t, there wouldn’t be a section in any book shop with titles like </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (which is – as fate would have it – the only somewhat self-help </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">styled</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> book I have ever read. And that’s saying something since it’s touted as the counterintuitive kind). </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What are self-help books?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before we get started, it’s worth reminding ourselves what self-help books are. In short, they are books which instruct or give advice on how to improve yourself. This could be physically, mentally, financially, spiritually or otherwise. The idea is that by reading a self-help book you are capable of improving your current position without the need of external resources, advice or support. In other words – </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">you help yourself</span>.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>So, whose reading these books?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/BB-Blog-images-Self-help-books-1.jpg" alt="" title="BB - Blog images - Self help books (1)" class="wp-image-5621" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to </span><a href="https://blog.gitnux.com/self-help-industry-statistics/#:~:text=Over%2045%2C300%20new%20self%2Dhelp,how%20to%20improve%20one's%20life." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Gitnux, “</span></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">over 45,300 new self-help books were published in 2020”, </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">with</span> <a href="https://www.marketwatch.com/press-release/global-self-improvement-products-services-market-2023-2030-estimated-to-reach-worth-usd-5607374-million-growing-at-a-cagr-of-513-2023-04-25" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Marketwatch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> predicting that the self-help market would reach a total value of “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">USD 56073.74 Million by the End of 2030”</span></i><b>. </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">That’s a compounded annual growth of around 5.13% expected till 2030. The average reader of self-help books buys 3 a year. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s face it, those are not only big figures (backed by sound scientific research) but a rather large readership. </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Am I missing something?</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I remember the hype that surrounded the launch of </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1582701709" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Secret</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> by Rhona Byrne in 2006 – first a movie that “revealed the great mystery of the universe” – and following that (and a little after the release of the movie), a book that became a worldwide bestseller.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Every single – female – member of my family was hooked. Everyone was talking about it. Everyone believed it would turn their humdrum lives into something masterful and full of opportunity. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I had my doubts. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For starters, The Secret said that the skills learned could be used in </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“every aspect of your life—money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction, you have in the world. You’ll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that’s within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (</span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1582701709" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Amazon</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It sounds incredible… Wait just a second. All I have to do is </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">foresee the thing I want to happen, happen? To truly believe it will. And it shall be?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It felt far, far too easy. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, there I sat the day before my final exam of my worst subject in University – Economics – and truly believed (and in fact, foresaw) me acing the exam. Achieving an A. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Well, surprise, surprise – that didn’t happen. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I passed that exam by the skin of my teeth actually. I should have spent more time studying than “foreseeing the event happen”. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps that wasn’t the purpose of The Secret. Perhaps I’m oversimplifying. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">But that was the value I extracted from it. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Which then led me to ask – was it only my female family members that read The Secret – and by extension – all other self-help books? Because I don’t remember my father, my uncles or my (then) boyfriend reading it. Or any other self-help book on the shelves. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The answer to that is funnily enough – yes. Generally speaking. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Turning to </span><a href="https://blog.gitnux.com/self-help-industry-statistics/#:~:text=Women%20make%20up%20the%20majority,this%20when%20marketing%20their%20books." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Gitnux</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> again – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Women make up the majority of self-help book readers, and African Americans have the highest percentage of self-help book buyers. Most self-help book buyers are under 45 years old and purchase books through planned purchases in chain bookstores, online, or through a friend’s recommendation”.</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, essentially, an African (American or not) woman under 45, that frequents a bookstore (or shops for titles online) would be the self-help market’s perfect target audience. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Bollocks to that I say. It can’t be. That’s far too general. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So why then is success coach, public speaker, self-help author and actor, </span><a href="https://www.tonyrobbins.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Tony Robbins</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> estimated to have net worth of around $600 Million (</span><a href="https://wealthygorilla.com/tony-robbins-net-worth/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wealthy Gorilla</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">)?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Again, have I missed something?</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Do self-help books work?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Self-help-books-1.jpg" alt="" title="Self help books (1)" class="wp-image-5616" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The premise of seeking advice from a self-help book is that you do – in fact – need help. Funny that since it’s kind of in the title of the genre. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But the people that need help (and quickly) often turn to the wisdom and knowledge of “mentors” like Robbins (who has made a success of his self-help career), rather than seeking the professional mental health support and care they most probably desperately need. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sure, reading </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how to turn your life around in ten easy steps</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> from the women who turned her love for fudge into a word-wide sensation, can give one hope. It makes you see possibilities in the world and in your circumstance that maybe you didn’t see before. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that’s a great thing if it does.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Technically there isn’t anything wrong, per se, with the advice of the Queen of the Fudge Empire. It </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can be inspiring</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. But the problem I have with it is that it’s just her view. It’s just her experience. It doesn’t mean that because you can bake a decent batch of muffins, you will become the Muffin Monarch just because you did what the Fudge Queen told you to do in her book. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And yes, I know that’s not the purpose of the self-help genre. I know that. But I do believe </span><a href="https://medium.com/@crismaximilian?source=post_page-----7737df3aa6e9--------------------------------" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cristofer Maximilian</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in his article </span><a href="https://medium.com/@crismaximilian/self-help-books-dont-work-here-s-why-7737df3aa6e9" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Self-Help Books Don’t Work — Here’s Why</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> when he says – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“While people lose themselves in a sea of advice, suggestions, routines, and “hacks”, they also lose sight of the fact that no amount of information will change this simple fact: </span></i><b><i>in order to succeed or improve in any area of your life, you need to actually do something”</i></b><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And there it is. For me at least. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can’t just read the book and expect a miracle. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">You need to act. You need to want to make the change. You need to put in the work.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And that’s where having a professional coach, psychiatrist or psychologist can be far more beneficial. Why? Because they hold you accountable and support you whilst doing so. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we’re done with the book, most of us put it back on our shelves. Maybe we sign up for the monthly newsletter. Maybe we read it every second month or so. Maybe we even attend a seminar (or webinar) hosted by the author. But are we really implementing the change we need in our lives? Are we really acting on the – well-meaning and well-intended but perhaps not exactly professional – advice of the self-help author?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The answer is most likely no. Again, generally speaking.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Reasons why I believe self-help books don’t work</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Author of </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><a href="https://markmanson.net/self-help" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mark Manson </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">sets out five major problems with the self-help industry (that are unlikely to go away). I have (partly) paraphrased for ease of the reading – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self-help reinforces perceptions of inferiority and shame</strong> –<span style="font-weight: 400;"> there are (generally speaking) two types of people who purchase self-help books. Those that feel they can simply improve on their lives with a few little tips and tricks and those that feel that there’s fundamentally something wrong with them. Those that just want to improve themselves will read a self-help book and go “Ok, I can do that” and not feel disparaged by the contents of the book. Those that feel there’s something fundamentally wrong with them will take the content in the book and use it to make themselves feel even worse about themselves. Because “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the irony here is that the pre-requisite for self-help to be effective is the one crucial thing that self-help cannot actually help: </span></i><a href="http://amzn.to/2BHZotI" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><b><i>accept yourself as a good person who makes mistakes</i></b></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self-help is often yet another form of avoidance</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if you suffer with anxiety (like I do) reading a self-help book has two consequences. The first is you replace one neuroticism with another one (in other words instead of feeling anxious about performing in my role as a legal practitioner, I start my own baking business and then become worried about not performing there too). And two, reading the book and implementing the thoughts and advice in the book leads to avoiding the issue altogether. The book becomes more important than dealing with the problem. And that’s not self-helping anyone.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self-help marketing creates unrealistic expectations</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – The Secret comes to mind here. The incentive for the self-help market is not enforcing real change. Instead, the only thing they need to do is create the perception of change. Real or imagined. You see all these people living their best lives because they did steps 1 – 6 out of XYZ self-help book and you feel let down because it isn’t working for you. That’s setting yourself up to fail. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self-help is (usually) not scientifically validated</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – The fact is</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">people without qualifications, without degrees and with little real expert knowledge of the human brain, psyche and serious mental health issues often write these novels. I mean what gives them the right to give other people advice? And should people really be listening to them?</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Self-help-books-2.jpg" alt="" title="Self help books (2)" class="wp-image-5617" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self-help is a contradiction</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – self-help amounts to self-improvement. Simple as that. And the purpose of self-improvement is to improve on yourself. To enhance what you already have. Is to accept yourself as is and be happy with that – only needing slight tweaks here and there. The person who has a fundamental problem with who they are is not going to find the help they need. They are looking to replace one aspect of who they are with something else. Something better. That person will never succeed. Instead, they will become bogged down by the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“nonsense and pseudo-science and suppress your feelings of inadequacy rather than deal with them head-on”. </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Again, who is that self-helping?</span><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">For me, self-help books create more problems for the people who need real help from medical professionals. Reading a book will not result in real change. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that seems counterintuitive. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I’m a cynic.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Self-help books – The believers (Frieda’s viewpoint)</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/BB-Blog-images-Self-help-books.jpg" alt="" title="BB - Blog images - Self help books" class="wp-image-5620" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cynical or not, Ali’s viewpoint has its merits. Achieving our goals and dreams requires a lot more than just believing that they are possible. I’d love it if I could think myself to becoming the fastest trail runner on the mountain, but the reality is that if that ever has a chance in hell of happening, I’m going to need to take action. So, Ali and I are in agreement on that point.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I also agree that the motivation driving individuals to pen a self-help book is not selfless. There is undoubtedly a benefit for the author: it forms part of a marketing strategy; they gain recognition as an author; and there is sheer reward and pride in being able to write a book. Gosh, I genuinely hope one day that I find the courage to write my own book.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Selfish or not though, given the effort and time it takes to write a book, I believe that authors of self-help books have a genuine desire to help people. And, even if they are not qualified therapists, people’s stories have the power to provide new perspective and insight, encourage self-reflection and provide a sense of hope. In fact, many psychologists, coaches and therapists often recommend self-help books as a means of developing self-awareness between sessions and helping individuals process issues through the use of stories. It’s called </span><a href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/bibliotherapy"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">bibliotherapy</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Reasons why I believe there is a place for self-help books</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>They are affordable </strong><i>– </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Not everyone can afford therapy or coaching (no matter how much they may need it). It’s the reality of the world we live in. Self-help books provide an accessible and affordable means of gaining insight into issues which individuals are facing. The self-help book genre tackles the full range of topics: from improving self-esteem, coping with stress and developing communication skills to discovering your potential, improving personal relationships and enhancing emotional awareness. Having the ability to read around a topic on which you are struggling and learning from the experience of others is a natural way that humans progress and develop awareness in this world. Why should that be any different merely because it now has the label: “self-help” attached to it.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>They are relatable</strong> – <span style="font-weight: 400;">Prior to my own therapy back in 2014, a friend recommended I listen to the audiobook: </span><a href="https://brenebrown.com/book/the-power-of-vulnerability/">“<em>The Power of Vulnerability</em>” by Brené Brown</a><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. She was concerned about my inability to set boundaries both in my professional and personal life and could see it was affecting my self-esteem. For me, the power of the book was in its relatability. I was able to connect my struggles with self-worth to those reflected in the book which, in turn, encouraged me to question and challenge my beliefs and thus my negative self-talk. It is a book I will always recommend to clients struggling with self-esteem issues. Brene Brown is so relatable and her tone and delivery allow you to shed the layers of embarrassment and shame that is often attached to low self-esteem. Exposure to that book satisfied my need to belong and feel understood and became my first step to seeking the professional help I required.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>You gain a sense of autonomy </strong>– <span style="font-weight: 400;">There are two dominant drivers for reaching out for a self-help book: You either want to learn something new or improve the way you are approaching something (a more proactive, enhancing approach) or you are experiencing a crisis and your existing coping mechanisms are no longer stepping up to the task (a more help-seeking approach). In the latter case, everything feels off balance and you often find yourself feeling stuck and incapable of shifting out of the situation. It’s not a fun place to be. Although potentially not a replacement for coaching or therapy, relevant self-help books can help to restore a sense of autonomy and agency.</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">The action of purchasing and reading a self-help book restores your mobility and gaining a new perspective on the situation acts as a stepping-stone to restoring equilibrium. You are helping yourself.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>You may not need therapy</strong> <i>– </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">As mentioned above, self-help books are not all about fixing you or helping you cope. There is a whole genre of self-help books which are about skill-enhancement, creating self-awareness and assisting with growth and development. You don’t need a therapist for that! Learning from other people’s experiences and what has worked for them is a great way to add new tools to your own skill set. If I’m a new mum, why wouldn’t I want to learn tips and tricks from mothers who have raised 3 kids? If I’m a workaholic, why wouldn’t I want to hear the story of how a former workaholic managed to flip her life into something a lot more fulfilling and balanced? Sometimes all you want and all you need is a new perspective from someone who has walked a similar path before you. A bit of inspiration. What you do with that information is completely up to you. Some things may work, others may not. But without reading those stories, you may never have discovered those techniques or approaches. Who’s at a loss then?</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>You continue to grow and learn </strong><i>–</i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> One of Ali’s arguments is that self-help amounts to self-improvement. She argues that we should be seeking self-acceptance rather than self-improvement, and self-help books discourage this. I’m all for self-acceptance i.e. fully embracing who you are, without judgement or comparison to others. However, there is an innate </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">need</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for humans to grow and develop. Take a look a </span><a href="https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-maslow-hierarchy-of-needs">Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs</a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">below:</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="768" height="500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/BB-Blog-images-Maslows-needs.png" alt="" title="Maslow's hierarchy of needs" class="wp-image-5610" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once we have satisfied our lower-level needs of safety, security, love and belonging and we’ve reached a stage of healthy self-esteem, we still need purpose. Needs motivate us. Self-help isn’t about self-improvement (i.e. you are not good enough as you are). Self-help is about self-expansion (i.e. acquiring resources, gaining new perspectives, growing).</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Conclusion</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whether you’re a cynic like Alicia, or believer like Frieda, one thing is for sure – there is a huge readership of self-help books. And there’s clearly reason for it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As Frieda has highlighted, self-help books do serve a purpose in the therapy/coaching spectrum. They are affordable, accessible, relatable and serve to help individuals address their problems. However, in this “helping” context, we both agree, that they are no substitute for the help of a therapist/coach. If you feel that you really need help, we encourage you to seek the guidance and support of a mental health professional who can support, guide and help you achieve mental wellness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">On the flip-side, it’s important to remember that self-help books are not all about fixing problems. They exist for self-expansion; to provide inspiration; to generate new ideas; to help you grow. You don’t need a therapist/coach for that. Self-help books – in Frieda’s opinion at least – serve a very valid purpose.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One final point to make is this. Whatever your views about self-help books, please remember that self-help books are not gospel. They provide the author’s perspective and opinion on a topic which is based on how they see the world and/or how they have analysed data presented to them. It doesn’t mean it’s right. It merely provides a perspective. When reading a self-help book, you therefore have a responsibility to question what you’re reading. Does this apply to me? Do I agree with it? Are my own beliefs and experiences influencing the way I’m interpreting this book?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We hope this article has given you some food for thought.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One thing we can both agree on though is this – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">happy reading (whatever genre of book you choose)!</span></i></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_32"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_50 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Co-author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_51 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_33"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Copy-of-linkedin-filler-pictures-7.jpg" alt="" title="Copy of linkedin filler pictures (7)" class="wp-image-5630" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-self-help-conundrum/">The Self-Help Conundrum</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-self-help-conundrum/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>