<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Navigating Change Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/navigating-change/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/navigating-change/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 11:53:52 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Navigating Change Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/navigating-change/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>How self-worth changes the way you make decisions</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2025 14:31:36 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Corporate Wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coaching insights]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[decision making]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Navigating Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-worth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235503</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/">How self-worth changes the way you make decisions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1">Self-worth isn’t something we tend to think about day to day, yet it quietly sits behind almost every decision we make. It influences what we ask for, what we put up with and when we finally decide something needs to change. When you start to see your value more clearly, the choices you make begin to look very different.</p> <p class="p1">I learnt this during a conversation about a salary increase; an exchange that revealed far more about how I saw myself than I expected. It wasn’t really about the money. It was about the internal shift that comes from finally backing yourself. Once that shift begins, it has a way of reshaping your next steps, both at work and in the rest of your life.</p> <p class="p1">The experience didn’t start dramatically, it built slowly. That familiar mix of tiredness, frustration and feeling slightly invisible despite working incredibly hard. I’ve always hated confrontation. I would tell myself that my salary wasn’t that bad, that others had it worse, that raising it might make me look ungrateful or difficult. I kept my head down and carried on, even though something inside felt off.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The appraisal that changed everything</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/A-Woman-Working-hard-in-the-Office-View-more-by-Tima-Miroshnichenko-from-Pexels.jpg" alt="A Woman Working hard in the Office View more by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels" title="A Woman Working hard in the Office View more by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels" class="wp-image-235511" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">The pressure reached a tipping point during my annual appraisal. I had already done the groundwork. I had researched market benchmarks, spoken to trusted colleagues and gathered the data I needed to make a reasonable, well-informed case. My intention was simple: a straightforward discussion about performance and fair compensation.</p> <p class="p1">The response surprised me. I was told that if I received more money, others would have to lose out. A “limited pot” for the team suddenly became my responsibility to navigate. The implication was subtle yet powerful: <em>asking for fairness meant harming the people around me</em>.</p> <p class="p1">I walked out feeling completely deflated. My request had turned into a moral dilemma. The doubt crept in quickly, which is exactly what comments like that tend to provoke. I began questioning whether I should have raised it at all, despite knowing my figures were accurate and reasonable.</p> <p class="p1">A few hours later, a different feeling settled in. I realised I wasn’t willing to sit with that discomfort or accept the guilt that had been handed to me. I emailed HR and expressed my disappointment. That email marked the first real step in backing myself. It was a quiet refusal to accept the narrative I had been given.</p> <p class="p1">What followed was a series of conversations: first with HR, then with HR and my boss together. None of it was especially comfortable, but most things worth doing rarely are. It was somewhere in the middle of it all, that the penny dropped. The problem wasn’t my request. The problem was the system that made me feel guilty for making it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The outcome and what truly changed</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Person-Celebrating-in-Nature-with-Outstretched-Arms-View-more-by-Aflo-Images-from-アフロ（Aflo）.jpg" alt="Person Celebrating in Nature with Outstretched Arms View more by Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）" title="Person Celebrating in Nature with Outstretched Arms View more by Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">I eventually received an increase (staggered over two years). A very corporate outcome. The most meaningful change had nothing to do with money though. It happened internally. For the first time, I stopped waiting for someone else to define my worth. I stopped outsourcing that responsibility. I stood up for myself.</p> <p class="p1">It was the first time I showed up as the <i>real</i> me. Not the overly accommodating version. Not the “I’ll just cope” version. The version that quietly knew she deserved better and finally acted on it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>When self-worth grows, your life starts to reorganise itself</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">There’s something else worth saying here because it’s important. Times like these often leave us with a choice: do I stay or do I go? Do I keep trying to make the current situation work or has this experience shown me that I’ve outgrown the box I’m in?</p> <p class="p1">We often imagine that once we take a stand and “win” (whether that’s a pay increase, a promotion or some acknowledgment), things will feel better. Yet, sometimes, all it does is confirm that the box you’ve been squeezing yourself into no longer fits. That’s exactly what happened to me.</p> <p class="p1">Was I pleased with the increase? Yes, on the surface. Was it market value? No, but by then it wasn’t even about the numbers. It was about something far more internal. It was the realisation that I was <i>allowed</i> to ask for more: more money, more balance, more respect, more alignment. That shift doesn’t stay neatly contained in one corner of your life. It ripples.</p> <blockquote> <p class="p2"><b><i>Once you recognise you’re allowed to want more, it becomes very hard to un-see it.</i></b></p> </blockquote> <p class="p1">That point of showing up in my career opened a much wider door. Not long after, I left that job to take a gap year. I also ended friendships and romantic relationships that weren’t good for me. It wasn’t dramatic or chaotic. It was simply a series of decisions rooted in a new, steadier sense of self-worth.</p> <p class="p1">When you finally show up for yourself in one area of your life, you begin to show up everywhere.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why these shifts matter</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Frieda-Levycky-with-a-coffee-cup.jpg" alt="Frieda Levycky with a coffee cup" title="Frieda Levycky with a coffee cup" class="wp-image-235509" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Personal change does not usually arrive through grand gestures. Most of it is shaped by small, uncomfortable choices that you replay in your mind long after the conversation ends. Those choices quietly mark a before and after.</p> <p class="p1">Self-worth influences those decisions more than we realise. It shapes what we accept, what we ask for and when we finally choose a different path.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What coaching helped me see</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">The experience did not turn me into someone who enjoys confrontation or enters every challenging discussion with flawless confidence. What it did do was open a door to deeper self-awareness.</p> <p class="p1">Coaching helped me walk through it. It helped me separate my worth from external approval, understand the stories that held me back and recognise that showing up is a skill rather than a personality trait. Something we get better at each time we practise it.</p> <p class="p1">I see the same pattern with so many clients: most people know what they want. They’re just not convinced they’re allowed to want it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>If you’re standing at a crossroads</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Anyone who finds themselves in that uncomfortable space where something needs to change – even if the shape of the change isn’t fully clear – is not alone.</p> <p class="p1">You don’t need to be fearless. You don’t need to have a full plan. You just need to be willing to take the first step. Confidence grows from action, not the other way round.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Mailshot-CTA-images.jpg" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235507" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/">How self-worth changes the way you make decisions</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-self-worth-changes-the-way-you-make-decisions/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>What’s Holding You Back? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Fear of Failure</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/whats-holding-you-back-overcoming-imposter-syndrome-and-fear-of-failure/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/whats-holding-you-back-overcoming-imposter-syndrome-and-fear-of-failure/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2025 14:13:28 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Barriers to Success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coaching for Confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[How to Build Confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset Shifts]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Navigating Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Overcoming Anxiety at Work]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Overcoming Imposter Syndrome]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Psychology of Success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Doubt and Confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Sabotage]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235323</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/whats-holding-you-back-overcoming-imposter-syndrome-and-fear-of-failure/">What’s Holding You Back? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Fear of Failure</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a funny thing.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we think about all the things we have accomplished in our lives – and some of the things that we haven’t accomplished (yet) – each thing has been because we either made up our minds that we were going to give it our all, or we decided that “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the juice just wasn’t worth the squeeze</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” (a saying I have used since I was a teenager). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But the common denominator here is that it’s always been up to us. Sure, we may get help every now and again, but whether we succeed or fail has always been up to us. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, the thing that I am pondering is this: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What holds us back on the times when we don’t succeed?</span></i> <i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What is the thing that keeps us from even trying?</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s that “thing” that invisible barrier that we put in front of ourselves to stop ourselves that has me interested. It’s the why that has me intrigued. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have some theories and, for some or other reason, I have the </span><a href="https://mrmen.fandom.com/wiki/Little_Miss_characters"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Little Miss characters</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in mind – as if by imagining these barriers as little characters, they are easier to boot. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Shall we dive in?</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Common Barriers to Achieving our Goals (Imposter Syndrome and Fear of Failure)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It stands to reason that there will be the usual suspects when it comes to the barriers to pursuing our dreams and our goals. You know, the common miscreants that turn our confidence into gloop and our self-esteem into putty. Perhaps you have heard of them?</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Little Miss Imposter Syndrome</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">This little number knows how to play us for fools. You know the saying “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">fake it ‘til you make it?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”, well Little Miss Imposter Syndrome not only has her admirers singing that like their favourite tune, but believing it wholeheartedly as well. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They believe they are frauds that they will be “found out” any day now. That they are not good enough. That one day someone will find out that they were faking “it” the whole time. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite being excellent at their job. Despite being more than qualified. Despite being trained and proficient in their role. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, they believe they are failures. All rubbish. And yet, Little Miss Imposter Syndrome has them eating out of her outstretched hand. According to </span><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Verywellmind</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">:</span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Imposter syndrome is not a </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/definition-of-mental-illness-4587855" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">diagnosable mental illness</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Instead, the term is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, although it also has links to perfectionism and the social context. It can show up in the context of work, relationships, friendships, or just overall, that holds us back from the self-confidence we’ve earned and deserve to feel. Psychologists Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance first used this term in the 1970s”. </span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The sweet irony here is that people that suffer from Little Miss Imposter Syndrome’s attentions are often highly accomplished, super impressive people. There is no apparent reason for them to feel like an imposter, and yet they do. This is what makes it such a challenging psychological phenomenon that needs to be unpacked.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/concept-word-imposter-on-cubes-on-a-blue-background-by-Eugene-Zvonkov-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="concept word imposter on cubes on a blue background by Eugene Zvonkov from Getty Images" title="concept word imposter on cubes on a blue background by Eugene Zvonkov from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235350" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Little Miss Fear of Failure</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">This Little Miss is a funny one. Because she’s slightly deceiving. You don’t realllly notice her right away because, let’s be honest, a lot of us are kind of scared of the big F. And we mean failing. Not the other F. None of us like it. Who likes failing? Sure, we may be scared to fail, and it may give us pause before we start something new, but do we have an actual fear of it? You see that’s why we say Little Miss Fear of Failure can be a tough one to crack. Little Miss Fear of Failure </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> a type of anxiety disorder that can manifest through thought patterns and subconscious behaviours, such as self-sabotage or procrastination. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Clinically Little Miss Fear of Failure has a “stage name.” She is known as atychiphobia. Not very showtuney we admit. But it does mean that there is an irrational and persistent fear of failing. This fear can stem from a number of sources. Sometimes it might emerge in response to a specific situation. In other cases, it might be related to another mental health condition such as anxiety or depression. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Little Miss Fear of Failure can produce emotional and behavioural symptoms – she’s fun like that. Some of her common entourage include – anxiety, avoidance (they’re cousins), feeling a loss of control as well as helplessness and powerlessness (they’re twins). In addition to emotional and behavioural symptoms, people who hang out with Little Miss Fear of Failure may also experience physical symptoms including rapid heart rate, chest tightness, trembling, dizziness, light-headedness, sweating, and digestive problems. It’s an absolute hoot! </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How do you know if you and Little Miss Imposter Syndrome have met? </strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Well, the funny thing is, Little Miss Imposter Syndrome used to only target high-achieving women. But now, with Little Miss Imposter Syndrome becoming more well known, or rather a more widely experienced phenomenon, she has no preference. Little Miss Imposter Syndrome targets anyone, no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Exhausted-millennial-african-woman-suffering-from-dry-eyes-syndrome.-by-fizkes-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Exhausted millennial african woman suffering from dry eyes syndrome. by fizkes from Getty Images" title="Exhausted millennial african woman suffering from dry eyes syndrome. by fizkes from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235351" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you wonder whether you and Little Miss Imposter Syndrome have become well acquainted of late, ask yourself the following questions:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do you agonize over even the smallest mistakes or flaws in your work?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do you attribute your success to luck or outside factors?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Are you sensitive to even constructive criticism?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do you feel like you will inevitably be found out as a phony?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do you downplay your own expertise, even in areas where you are genuinely more skilled than others?</span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How do you know if you and Little Miss Fear of Failure have met? </strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Failure-concept-View-more-by-alexskopje-from-Getty-Images-Pro.jpg" alt="" title="Failure concept View more by alexskopje from Getty Images Pro" class="wp-image-235352" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Little Miss Fear of Failure is intense. You’ll know if you have met her because you will feel that a toll has been taken on your beliefs in your abilities and your motivation to pursue your goals, accompanied by:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Low self-esteem</strong><b> –</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> people who fear failure may also engage in negative self-talk or have low self-confidence that makes it difficult to pursue goals. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Poor motivation</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if someone actually fears failure, they may also experience a lack of motivation that makes it difficult to get started on projects and work toward goals. When something seems too challenging or involves learning new skills, people may simply give up or refuse to get involved before they have even begun.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self-sabotage</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – it’s not unusual to be loved by anyone…. nor is it uncommon for people who fear failure to engage in acts of self-handicapping that undermine their own chances of success. Why even try when you can sabotage instead – it’s not your fault if it’s someone else’s, right? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Shame</strong><span> – Little Miss Fear of Failure is well acquainted with the fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment. Failing can trigger feelings worthlessness, so avoiding trying in the first place can sometimes serve as a way to protect the self from disappointment, regret, and sadness. A weird way to protect yourself from worse.</span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How do you end your relationship with Little Miss Imposter Syndrome?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Friends-talking-to-each-other-View-more-by-simonkr-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Friends talking to each other View more by simonkr from Getty Images Signature" title="Friends talking to each other View more by simonkr from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235354" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem with Little Miss Impostor Syndrome is that the experience of doing well at something does nothing to change your beliefs. The thought still nags in your head: “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What gives me the right to be here?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“. The more you accomplish, the more you feel like a fraud. It’s as though you can’t </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">internalise</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> your experiences of success.</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">And b</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">ecause imposter syndrome eats at you from the inside out, often with no outward signs of struggle, it makes it all the more important to recognise and take steps to address your ill-founded feelings. Otherwise, your feeling of false incompetence will prevent you from pursuing a professional goal that might actually be right for you. And that will only lead to more regret, more negative self-talk, more self-loathing, anxiety and eventually depression. So how do we nip this in the bud so to speak? Name and shame! Name her, call her out and let her know she is no longer welcome here! To do this, or to get to this point, you can do the following – </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Share your feelings </strong><b>– </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">talk it out. Tell someone how you feel. Whether it’s a friend, family member or professional. Tell them how you feel. Irrational beliefs tend to fester when they are hidden and not talked about.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Focus on someone else</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">while this might feel counterintuitive, try to help others in the same situation as you. If you see someone who seems awkward or alone, ask them a question to bring them into the group. As you practice your skills, you will build confidence in your own abilities.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Assess your abilities</strong><b> –</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> if you have long-held beliefs about your incompetence in social and performance situations, make a realistic assessment of your abilities. Get unbiased help. Write down your accomplishments and what you are good at, then compare these with your self-assessment. Seek the counsel of someone outside of your immediate support circle, who will be able to guide you unbiasedly, like Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Question your own thoughts</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">as you start to assess your abilities, start to question whether your thoughts are rational. Does it make rational sense to believe that you are a fraud given everything that you know? Does 1 + 1 = 2?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Most importantly – Stop comparing! </strong><b>– </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">every time you compare yourself to others, in whichever capacity that is, you are going to find something wrong with yourself. It’s only natural. And that will only serve to fuel the feeling of not being good enough or not belonging. Instead, focus on listening to what the other person is saying. Be genuinely interested in learning more. Open yourself up to new experiences and new people. We are all different and we can all learn from one another. </span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How do you end your relationship with Little Miss Fear of Failure? </strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Success-and-Failure-Concept-View-more-by-pixelshot.jpg" alt="Success and Failure Concept View more by pixelshot" title="Success and Failure Concept View more by pixelshot" class="wp-image-235356" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The key to breaking tup with Little Miss Fear of Failure is recognising your behaviours. For some, the anxiety created by a fear of failure becomes so familiar that maintaining it feels safer than working through the underlying cause. It’s safer, it’s easier. Just maintain the status quo. It might take some time to recognise that she is bad for you, and it may take some time to recognise the signs of fearing failure in yourself. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. The symptoms can be interwoven with shame, depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem, which makes identifying a fear of failure as the root cause so hard to spot. Self-awareness and patience are crucial, but it’s also critical to be compassionate with yourself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As with learning any new skill, it takes time. However, when you learn how to work with a fear of failure, you open the door to greater life and career satisfaction. You’ll feel more confident and better equipped to work toward achieving life goals, and you’ll ultimately experience greater life fulfilment. After you have identified the need to break up with Little Miss Fear of Failure, the next step is to work through your feelings. And you can do this by:</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Accepting that failure is normal</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – even the most successful people experience failure. The ability to overcome obstacles and accept mistakes is a key part of achieving success. By learning from your mistakes, you’re a step closer to reaching your goals. If you fail, remind yourself that it’s normal. It’s life.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Talk to someone you trust</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if you’re feeling stuck, overthinking and overwhelm can kick in. Talking to someone you trust, such as a friend, mentor, family member, or therapist, can help shed new light on your situation. Tell them about your fears and listen to their feedback. An outsider’s perspective on your challenges can change how you see things.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Remember the cost of not trying</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – making decisions based on a fear of failure can come at a cost. You could miss out on some of life’s great opportunities if you never try anything unfamiliar. Remember that trying and failing is often better than not trying at all. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Go-with-the-Flow-written-in-sand-View-more-by-JodiJacobson-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Go with the Flow written in sand View more by JodiJacobson from Getty Images Signature" title="Go with the Flow written in sand View more by JodiJacobson from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235355" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Maintain a flexible mindset</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – be easy breezy lemon squeezy. Go with the flow. Approach every situation with the mindset that you can learn and grow from the experience. Be flexible enough to move with each situation. Don’t pre-judge the situation and think you’ll fail before you even start. As long as you’re willing to adapt, you’re never truly stuck in a decision.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Be afraid but do it anyway</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – be brave and the mighty forces will come to your aid. Or something along those lines. Sometimes you just have to put the “big person pants” on and go for it. Be brave and you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish. Don’t let the fear stop you from the really cool things that life has to offer. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Work on taking risks</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – a fear of failure can make you risk averse. But taking small, healthy risks is a little less scary. More manageable. So perhaps you can take a larger risk, and break it down into smaller more manageable risks, Tackle it one small bite at a time. With practice, you’ll grow more comfortable taking a reasonable risk. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Concept-of-a-Businesswoman-Taking-a-Risk-View-more-by-Creativa-Images.jpg" alt="" title="Concept of a Businesswoman Taking a Risk View more by Creativa Images" class="wp-image-235349" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Get comfortable with rejection</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – every time you put yourself out there, you risk rejection. And that is normal. For us all. But if you approach it as a learning curve, every rejection becomes an opportunity to gain experience and to grow. And when has that ever been a bad thing?</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8.jpg" alt="" title="8" class="wp-image-1883" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Try new things</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – doing the same old thing is like wearing the same old trusted jersey. It fits, it’s comfy, it’s dependable and there’s no fuss. But there’s also no excitement. Get uncomfortable for a change. Try on a new “outfit” (tip – we are not talking about clothes here) and get out of your comfort zone. if you attempt new things or visit new places, you can grow more comfortable with being uncomfortable. You’ll learn something new and gain practice. While discomfort is uncomfortable, it’s also a sign that you’re expanding your horizons. And that’s a good thing!</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With Little Miss Imposter Syndrome and Little Miss Fear of Failure given their marching orders, following your dreams may be a tad easier to achieve and success may be just around the corner. Who knows? Maybe Little Miss Sunshine, Little Miss Splendid and Little Miss Magic will keep you company instead. They seem like far healthier bedfellows from where we’re sitting. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But understand this – giving Little Miss Imposter Syndrome and Little Miss Fear of Failure the boot is only the first step. Working through your feelings and working on yourself, on an ongoing basis, is key. If you feel you need assistance with identifying and working through your feelings, </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with Frieda Levycky of Braving Boundaries who is perfectly poised to support you as you learn to manage your relationship with these toxic Little Misses. </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – verywellmind </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-failure-5176202" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-overcome-fear-of-failure" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">BetterUp</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">).</span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.jpg" alt="End of blog post CTA image (5)" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-235348" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Related Articles</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><ul> <li><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/"><b>Living with the Fear of Rejection</b></a></li> <li><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/"><b>Facing the Fear of Rejection</b></a></li> <li><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure/"><b>7 Ways to Bounce Back after Failure</b></a></li> <li><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/imposter-syndrome-fighting-the-feelings-of-being-a-fraud/"><b>Imposter Syndrome: Fighting the Feelings on being a Fraud</b></a></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/whats-holding-you-back-overcoming-imposter-syndrome-and-fear-of-failure/">What’s Holding You Back? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Fear of Failure</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/whats-holding-you-back-overcoming-imposter-syndrome-and-fear-of-failure/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Silent Weight of Unwanted Change: How to Start Moving Forward</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-silent-weight-of-unwanted-change/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-silent-weight-of-unwanted-change/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 17 Mar 2025 14:26:49 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change and Transition]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coping with Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Embracing Uncertainty]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Growth mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Inner Strength]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Transitions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Managing Unwanted Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset Shift]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Moving Forward]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Navigating Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Discovery]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235148</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-silent-weight-of-unwanted-change/">The Silent Weight of Unwanted Change: How to Start Moving Forward</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change is hard. Even when we want it for ourselves. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But when it’s unexpected or unwanted change, the blow to the gut is that much worse. It’s not like it can even be prevented. It’s out of our hands and that’s why it makes it even more difficult to swallow. Like a lump in your throat or a knot in your stomach, unwanted change sits like an unwelcome visitor. A heavy, yet silent weight. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It could be the loss of your job, the end of a relationship, the loss of a loved one or the receipt of unwelcome news from a doctor. Each one carries with it, its own weight in pain and remorse. The “what ifs” running through our minds. Broken hearted and crestfallen we look for ways to shoulder the strain, only to find ourselves wanting. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s hard to find the light when we are amid the heaviness of the dark, feeling our way through the uncertainty, the loss of control, the heavy feeling that things will never be the same again. And there’s nothing we can do about it. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Heavy. Heavy. Heavy. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s not forget the overwhelming stress that accompanies this unwanted change – like best friends walking hand-in-hand into your life, they feel quite at home together. Stress takes residence in our minds – as opposed to our stomachs – where it makes you worry. Worry that you’re leaving or losing something that was well known to you and moving towards something that is uncertain. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The mind, the poor thing that it is, processes that as loss and fear. Even positive change is stressful. But if the change is unexpected or unwanted, and accompanied by greater uncertainty than normal, the experience of loss and worry are amplified. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a tough position even for the strongest of us. But there are ways to get through this time of your life.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Ways to Cope During Unwanted Change</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We’re not saying that change is easy. We know that it’s hard. Any change is hard. Unwanted change is especially hard. But there are things you can do that will help you cope with the change as you process everything you are going through – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Recognise that your situation <i>is</i> temporary</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">while you’re processing change, it’s natural to feel anxious and depressed, even angry. The important thing is to recognise that these intense feelings are intermittent, they are temporary. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Any change, whether they are welcome or not, creates discomfort. When the change is both unwelcome and unexpected, the discomfort is even worse. Unexpected changes throw us off balance. And in this space, we find ourselves out of our comfort zones. It can feel like things will never be ok again, that things will never get better. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing is, as humans we are incredibly resilient creatures. It’s how we’ve survived 300 000 odd years. We weren’t the fastest, or the strongest. We weren’t the fiercest in a fight. But we could outlast just about anything. Wearing them down until they eventually collapsed. And then, well, we ate them – Survival of the fittest and all that. So, know that you are naturally resilient, know that this situation is temporary and know that, in time, things will go back to a state of normalcy. What normal now looks like for you will depend entirely on you. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Learn what you <i>can</i> control</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – when you’re looking at a substantial change, it’s helpful to understand that there are </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">simply things you can control and there are things out of your control</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. When someone passes away, we can’t control that – as much as we would want to. It’s out of our hands. What we can control is how we deal with things afterwards. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We can ensure that their last wishes are carried out as they would’ve wanted them to be. We can ensure that their memory is immortalised in a way that we feel good about. And we can remember them with love and respect. Perhaps immortalising a small memory that just the two of you would know about. Finding small things that you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> control during the change process helps make the whole ordeal easier on the soul. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Keep-moving-forward-motivational-quote.-Milestone-on-the-field.-by-designer491-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Keep moving forward motivational quote. Milestone on the field. by designer491 from Getty Images" title="Keep moving forward motivational quote. Milestone on the field. by designer491 from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235160" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Be kind to yourself</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– for every transition we go through, whether it’s positive or negative, there will always be a sense of loss, a sense of sadness – like something is gone, and you can’t get it back. These feelings are absolutely normal and it’s important to let yourself grieve that loss. It’s important that you let yourself sit with those feelings. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it’s also important that you don’t allow yourself to wallow. Instead, try to indulge in something that makes you happy, like seeing friends, painting a random piece of art, baking a cake (even if it’s wonky) or going for a walk in the sunshine. Surround yourself with things that bring a smile to your face – even if this is a gradual process – and remind yourself that there’s so much life still to live. So much still to experience and enjoy. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Find meaning, look for positives</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – change brings about new problems, but we often forget that it also brings about new opportunities. Being able to find meaning in our challenges allows us to own them. We challenge our ability to go where we have not gone before, and to do what we have not done before. In turn, this fosters courage, resilience, confidence, and self-worth. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? What do I know about myself now that I didn’t know before? How can I turn this into something that will have a positive impact on my life one year, two years, or five years from now? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Try and look beyond the “big change” and try to see what comes next or what </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">could</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> come next… there might just be a positive in there somewhere. For example, if you’ve lost your job, it’s normal to worry about the future. But think about whether it’s time for something new anyway? Even the most fearful changes can bring about unexpected joys.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Everyone-needs-support-by-LaylaBird-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Everyone needs support by LaylaBird from Getty Images Signature" title="Everyone needs support by LaylaBird from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235159" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Get help</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the important thing to know is that you’re not alone. Even if it seems that way. There is always help when you need it. Reaching out can help you gain new perspectives, or even solutions to your problems. Tough times is when social support is needed the most. Positive social support enhances resilience to stress. It helps you cope with unexpected changes in healthy, adaptive ways. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Think about whether there are individuals in your family or social circle that you can turn to. Have any of them been through similar situations? Perhaps seeking professional help is the best way forward and can be a valuable resource for navigating life’s unexpected changes. By reaching out to experts, like Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and Di Atherton of </span><a href="https://diatherton.co.za/grief-end-of-life-coaching/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Spiral Pathway</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, you can enhance your ability to cope and adapt effectively. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_47 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Author of the Chronicles of Narnia, and my personal favourite </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> C.S. Lewis</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">had this to say about overcoming change</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span></i></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” </span></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And he’s right. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all know that the only way out is through. So, to overcome unwanted change, we need to work through the feelings of loss and grief, anger and sadness. We need to accept that these feelings are part of life. They happen. Devastatingly they happen. To all of us at one point or another. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The trick is knowing, beyond your worrying mind, that your state of flux is temporary. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That even in the hardest moments, you are not alone. That support is there when you need it. And that, in time, you will feel the sun on your face and the smile on your lips, not because the pain has vanished, but because you have found a way to carry it differently. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </span></i><a href="https://careinmind.com.au/blog/how-to-deal-with-unexpected-change/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Care in Mind</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.wm.edu/offices/wellness/virtual/flourishing/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">William & Mary</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.sofia.com.sg/facing-unexpected-changes/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sofia Wellness Clinic</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p> <p> </p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-3.jpg" alt="End of blog post CTA" title="End of blog post CTA image (3)" class="wp-image-235162" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_2 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_48 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-silent-weight-of-unwanted-change/">The Silent Weight of Unwanted Change: How to Start Moving Forward</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-silent-weight-of-unwanted-change/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>New year, same stuck feeling?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jan 2025 12:21:52 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Breaking Patterns]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Career Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coaching for Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling stuck]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[goal setting]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Transitions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset Shift]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Navigating Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[New Year Reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[new year resolutions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Development]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235097</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/">New year, same stuck feeling?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_3 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_49 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_50 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Why resolutions fail without self-awareness</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_51 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Isn’t it funny how, as the clock strikes 12 on December the 31</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, social media is awash with posts about New Year’s Resolutions: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This will be the year I finally lose the baby weight” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“2025 is my year to get fit”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or better still </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This is the year I make a million quid”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Endless empty promises dominating your news feeds that you just know will be broken the minute the going gets tough.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because let’s be honest, no one’s problems – whether they are health issues, mental health issues, family problems, work problems, weight problems, financial problems – disappear the minute the calendar changes from the 31</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to the 1</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. The rolling over the date doesn’t make problems disappear. So yeah, the same stuck feeling continues. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The idea that New Year’s Day offers a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“clean slate”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“New Year, New You”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> type mentality is so misleading. Sure, it’s easy to believe that as the new year starts, we get the opportunity to turn over a new leaf. And who can blame our optimism? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But while January the 1</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> offers an opportunity for a fresh start; the underlying habits and mindsets that led to past failures don’t just disappear overnight.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Real change takes time, and it requires a real shift in mindset. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_32"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/New-Year-resolution-concept.-by-Coompia77-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="New Year resolution concept. by Coompia77 from Getty Images" title="New Year resolution concept. by Coompia77 from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235110" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_52 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The notion that we can completely change ourselves in the blink of an eye is unrealistic. Sustainable transformation doesn’t happen as soon as we change our minds about a situation. And it certainly won’t happen in the first 31 days of the year. It’s a long-term process that extends far beyond the novelty of a new year.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But there’s no getting away from the fact that New Year’s Resolutions are a part of the festivities. Everyone is doing them. So, it’s only natural that you’ll get caught up in the whole hoopla that the new year offers. And what it offers more than anything else is hope. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hope that change </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> happen. Hope that you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> make a difference in some aspect of your life. And there’s nothing wrong with hope. It’s the expectations behind the hope that need some adjusting. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because while our intentions are good – they reflect our desire for self-improvement (which is never a bad thing) – we need to remain realistic. The uncomfortable truth is that most new year’s resolutions won’t last until February. According to </span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202412/why-new-years-resolutions-set-you-up-to-fail#:~:text=last%20until%20February.-,Research%20shows%20that%20about%2080%25%20of%20people%20abandon%20their%20resolutions,the%20concept%20itself%20is%20flawed." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Psychology Today</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, research shows that about 80% of people abandon their resolutions within a month.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And the reason for this? We are so quick to set unrealistic goals that we rarely vet our resolutions through the filter of self-awareness. In other words, we gravitate towards aspirational objectives that make sense for someone else – not being entirely realistic for ourselves personally. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s be clear – this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set New Year’s Resolutions. Go ahead. But inform your goals by reflecting on what matters most to you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And you can do this by implementing the following strategies: </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_33"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_53 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Get to know yourself</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – to set realistic and achievable goals for 2025 (and beyond), you need to understand what really makes you tick. What motivators get you moving and which ones get you to stay on track? Use your answers to bypass self-sabotaging tendencies that cause you to constantly miss your goals, such as trying to work toward big-picture achievements on Fridays when you know you do your best thinking work on Mondays. As you begin to get a better handle on your needs, create smaller, easily achievable tasks that can assist you in fulfilling your larger longer-term objectives. Here, it’s important that these smaller tasks have meaning and will aid in the achievement of your overall yearly objective. A simple tick-box exercise isn’t going to do the trick. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Find smoothie recipes I will actually make,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for example, is a concrete step toward an overall goal of eating healthier in 2025. Over time, you’ll naturally begin to understand how to establish new dreams that help you get out of ruts, overcome your shortcomings, and challenge yourself in positive ways, thereby setting goals that will stick.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_31 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_34"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_50 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_54 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Explore the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/">enneagram</a></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – following on from the above, by exploring the enneagram method with a trained professional such as Frieda Levycky at </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, you can delve into what motivates you and answer a burning question – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">why do you do the things you do?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> The enneagram offers profound insights into what makes us tick, such as the unconscious fears buried deep in our psyches that affect our everyday decisions. While you can’t change who you are, there are several benefits to having a deeper understanding of yourself – you can make the most of your strengths and become aware of the things that challenge you; you can face the hidden motivations and fears that rule your life and are holding you back in both your personal and professional life; you can see what lies behind the decisions you make, why you see the world the way you do, where your blind spots and defence mechanisms are, what’s behind your anxieties, and what’s likely to trigger you. Essentially you can live up to your true potential and identify where you can grow and develop. By knowing these things, you can set resolutions that speak to exactly who you are. Because you will know who that is. You will set goals that speak to your specific needs and desires and you’ll be able to set goals that you know you’ll be able to stick to. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_32"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_51 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_35"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Handwritten-2025-GOALS-New-Year-Resolutions-Aims-Goals-on-Paper-Notepad.-Preparation-for-New-Year.-Planning-and-Setting-Goals-for-Personal-Development-by-Анастасия-Янишевская.jpg" alt="Handwritten 2025 GOALS New Year Resolutions Aims Goals on Paper Notepad. Preparation for New Year. Planning and Setting Goals for Personal Development by Анастасия Янишевская" title="Handwritten 2025 GOALS New Year Resolutions Aims Goals on Paper Notepad. Preparation for New Year. Planning and Setting Goals for Personal Development by Анастасия Янишевская" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_33 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_52 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_36"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_53 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_55 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Focus your mind on past successes</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – while you’re getting to know yourself (pretty well at this point), looking to past failures and ruminating on past wins is the next step. To be clear, the aim is not to focus on the negative. Rather it’s to learn from past mistakes and then reset your focus on your past achievements – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how did you achieve what you set out to achieve?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> By doing so, you shift your focus from </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“How will I achieve this?”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I know I can do this, because I have done it before.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Having a positive outlook is essential to achieving the new goals you set for yourself because you will have a resilient, success-driven mindset. When you find yourself lamenting too long on prior mistakes, force yourself to revisit your accomplishments. Over time, you’ll naturally begin to look for the silver lining, which will help you see yourself as worthy, competent, and successful rather than unable to get a leg up. Your resolutions will start to fall into place because you’ll know you have done it before. And that’s half the battle won. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_34 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_54 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_37"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_55 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_56 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Reframe your why</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– the next step in getting to know yourself and really practicing the act of self-awareness is to take the time to ask yourself why this particular goal matters to you. Are you choosing it because it’s something you deeply value, or because you feel you should? Is it something you really want to achieve – and by now if you have really got to know yourself and employed the enneagram method, you should be able to answer this question – or is this goal linked more towards what society thinks you should be achieving. Like getting a ”Snatched body” or a “revenge body” by March. Aligning your goals with intrinsic motivations creates a greater sense of purpose. So, in the examples we have given, instead of focusing on “getting a revenge body by March” reframe your resolution around </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“feeling stronger and having more energy so I can do fun activities with family.” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">See the difference there? Make sure you’re setting goals for you and not because society expects you to. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_35 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_56 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_38"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_57 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_57 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Forget perfection</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the last point we want to make about making resolutions through self-awareness is the perfection conundrum. The pressure that comes with expecting perfection from your new year’s resolution is immense. It’s the enemy of progress. And it’s a sure-fire way to set ourselves up to fail by aiming for an ideal that is simply too hard to achieve. Resolutions like </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to work out every day,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to eat clean all month,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> are doomed to fail from the start because they leave little room for imperfection. Remember that </span><b><i>life happens</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Don’t let one slip-up on the road to achieving your long-term goal lead you to giving up. The key to success isn’t perfection. It’s consistency. The smallest changes, done consistently can make a big difference in your life. Don’t give up. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_36"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_58 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_39"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Just-go-with-the-flow-View-more-by-Nicola-Katie-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Just go with the flow View more by Nicola Katie from Getty Images Signature" title="Just go with the flow View more by Nicola Katie from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235109" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_58 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once your resolution has gone through the self-awareness check, the rest is easy. Sure, we can remind you to have fun, don’t take yourself too seriously, track your progress (not your perfection); be flexible and most importantly be kind to yourself – but these points are applicable to every situation. Not just when setting your resolutions or better put – goals – for 2025. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The important take-away here is that change isn’t just about acting. It’s about knowing yourself first in order to make your goals achievable. Lastly, it’s important to note that you don’t need to wait until January to start over. Every day is an opportunity to reshape your life with goals that honour who you are and where you want to go.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And to this we say</span><b> – Carpe Diem friends!</b></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/why-self-aware-resolutions-are-way-to-go-in-2020.html"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Inc.</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; Psychology Today </span></i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202412/why-new-years-resolutions-set-you-up-to-fail#:~:text=They're%20Based%20on%20All,feel%20like%20you've%20failed."><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202412/why-new-years-resolutions-set-you-up-to-fail#:~:text=last%20until%20February.-,Research%20shows%20that%20about%2080%25%20of%20people%20abandon%20their%20resolutions,the%20concept%20itself%20is%20flawed."><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-6823972"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.lhsdoi.com/29285/opinion/failed-by-february-why-your-new-years-resolutions-never-last/"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Drops of Ink</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/02/11/this-is-the-month-when-new-years-resolutions-fail-heres-how-to-save-them/"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Forbes</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_40"> <a href="https://calendly.com/bravingboundaries/exploration-call"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-7.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (7)" class="wp-image-235105" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_3 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_37 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_59 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_41"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_60 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_59 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/">New year, same stuck feeling?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>