<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>live your life Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/live-your-life/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/live-your-life/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Wed, 30 Oct 2024 14:46:49 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>live your life Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/live-your-life/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Living with the Fear of Rejection</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 30 Oct 2024 14:00:35 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coping mechanisms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coping with rejection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional well-being]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fear of Rejection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[live your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managing fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Managing rejection anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mental health tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset and resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Overcoming rejection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Rejection sensitivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-confidence building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-help strategies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fear Series]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=234920</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/">Living with the Fear of Rejection</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><span style="color: #be9727;"></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">This article forms part of “The Fears Series”. With the Fear of Rejection being so prevalent for many people, we’ve written two articles on the topic: one from Frieda’s perspective (Founder of Braving Boundaries) and <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/">one from Alicia’s perspective</a> (Founder of the Legal Belletrist). Take a read.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’d love to know what it’s like to live without the fear of rejection. Imagine how freeing that must feel! But for as long as I can remember, this notion of rejection has always been present. It’s almost like a shadow lingering quietly in the background; that familiar sensation that reminds me of the “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what ifs</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Fear of rejection isn’t a simple, one-layered issue and it’s not just about the rejection itself. It goes beyond the sting of hearing “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">no</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” or the awkwardness of being ghosted. It’s the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">ripple effect</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> we fear. What if that “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">no</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” says something about me – about my worth, my abilities or even my future?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As humans, we have this natural need to belong; to be liked, wanted and accepted. From childhood, we learn the importance of fitting in. It’s so entrenched within us that Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs even allocates a whole level to it! Rejection threatens that. It gnaws away at our sense of belonging and safety.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But where does this fear come from? Well, I think it’s a mix of things: a deep need to feel secure, accepted and valued. When we’re rejected (or think we’re being rejected), it can feel like a blow to our self-worth. It challenges our sense of who we are and, let’s face it, none of us like the idea of being told “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you’re not enough</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. We’ve all felt it at some point … so we all know how painful that feels.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>My experience of the fear of rejection</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Rejecting-Bribery-in-an-Envelope-by-89Stocker.png" alt="" title="Rejecting Bribery in an Envelope by 89Stocker" class="wp-image-234956" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of rejection has held me back at various stages of my life:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <ul> <li><b>Job interviews</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Well, I avoided those like the plague! Putting myself forward and potentially hearing: “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thanks, but no thanks</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” was always unsettling. I’m pretty sure that this particular version of my fear of rejection stems from the constant rejection / radio silence I experienced when applying for Summer Internships. I spent hours filling in the forms and I couldn’t help but wonder what the rejection / non-responsiveness said about me. Was I not good enough?<br /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Asking for a pay rise</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – There have been many times where I have avoided having the pay rise conversation arguing that it would be a pointless exercise. But really, I avoided that conversation because I feared hearing the justification for the negative response. Not only would it make me question my value in the workplace, but I also feared being seen as greedy or out of line. It was irrelevant that I also knew that I was only asking for what I deserved. The fear trumped the logic most times.<br /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Telling people I was a coach</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Yes, Yes, I know! Transitioning from a well-established legal career to a flourishing coaching career felt daunting though. Would people take me seriously? Or would they see me as just another person jumping on the coaching bandwagon? The fear of losing credibility amongst my peers and network – or no longer “belonging” – was very real for me, and it held me back from truly stepping into my identity as a Coach for a good couple of years.</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Promoting Braving Boundaries</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – SALES! The word still fills me with dread. When it comes to marketing services to corporates, rejection is a given and it comes in many forms: radio silence, vague responses or budget constraints. It requires a thick skin to push on through – perhaps that’s why most new businesses fail within the first 2-4 years of being established. The fear of rejection makes you avoid putting yourself out there; letting people know how you can help them. This, in turn, chips away at your confidence and makes you question your entire business.</span></li> </ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Dating</b><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> – Ah, dating! I’ve lost count of how many times I avoided online dating or being set up by friends simply because the fear of rejection was too overwhelming. The fear of opening up to someone and being natural and vulnerable – i.e. being me – and then being told: “</span><i style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">I just don’t fancy you enough</i><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">” or “</span><i style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">I think we should just be friends</i><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">” or “</span><i style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Maybe we could keep things casual</i><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">” or “</span><i style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">You’re great, but …</i><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">”, hit me right to the core. Vulnerability combined with rejection? No thank you! It’s honestly a miracle I ever got married!</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The ripple effect of the fear of rejection</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Sad-woman-suffering-by-bymuratdeniz-from-Getty-Images-Signature.png" alt="" title="Sad woman suffering by bymuratdeniz from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-234957" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of rejection can manifest in different ways for each of us. For some of you, it will stop you entirely while for others, like me, it leads to procrastination and delay. Save in the case of dating, the fear of rejection didn’t stop me from taking action, but it did make me hesitate – whether in job interviews, asking for a pay rise or promoting Braving Boundaries. It made me worry about how rejection would reflect on my abilities, identity and self-worth, and caused me to delay taking the steps I knew I needed to in order to progress.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For others though, this fear might show up as staying in a comfortable role or relationship to avoid the potential pain of rejection. It might keep someone from sharing their ideas or speaking up – fearing criticism or failure (there is a separate article on that). This fear (while seemingly protective) often holds us back. It keeps us stuck and undermines our confidence. Whether it’s in personal relationships, careers or creative pursuits, the fear of rejection stalls progress. It leaves us questioning our worth and comparing ourselves to those who seem to push through without hesitation.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Overcoming the fear of rejection</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If the above sounds all too familiar, just know that you are not alone. I’ve set out below some of the tried and tested strategies which have helped me address my fear of rejection over the years (and still help me today):</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Explore where your fear of rejection comes from</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– The fear of rejection often has roots deep in our past. It might stem from a specific incident that knocked your confidence or perhaps it’s been a lifelong struggle to feel accepted. Either way, it’s important to recognise that what we perceive as rejection may not have been rejection at all. It’s simply how we’ve interpreted it. Working with a counsellor can help you explore and, more importantly, reframe that incident. By revisiting it, you might discover that the rejection you’ve carried for so long was more about perception than reality. Seeing it for what it truly was can help you release its grip. Separate your current situation from the past. They are not the same and it’s time to stop letting the past define your present.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Fact-check your beliefs</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– So often, our fears aren’t grounded in reality. They are beliefs we carry around with us. A great way to check is to ask yourself: “</span><strong><i>What proof do I have that this fear is justified?</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. Take, for example, my fear that no one will show up for a workshop. Is there any factual reason to believe that? Have I ever had a workshop where no one signed up? Is there something else occurring on that date which might prevent people from attending? This exercise helps to challenge those beliefs and bring you back to reality. If the response is no – then you’re confirming that your thoughts are fear-driven beliefs and not facts. If the response to any of the questions is yes (i.e. the fear has a factual base), then explore that further – what can be adjusted or done differently? This is a great exercise to work through with a friend/coach/partner. Having someone asking these questions who is not emotionally tied to the outcome, can bring much needed perspective to the situation.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Rejection is just a change in direction.</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Rejection stings – there’s no denying that – but, more often than not, it’s simply redirecting us to where we’re meant to be. What do they say? “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong>When one door closes another door opens</strong>”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. It’s about shifting our perspective from seeing rejection as a final judgment on our worth to seeing it as part of the process. Sometimes a “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">no</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” is just a way of clearing space for a better “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">yes</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” down the line. Instead of viewing rejection as the end of the road, try to see it as a detour that’s leading you to an opportunity that you wouldn’t have discovered otherwise.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Changing-business-management-concept.-by-tadamichi-from-Getty-Images.png" alt="" title="Changing business management concept. by tadamichi from Getty Images" class="wp-image-234955" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Not everyone is your person</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– In life, whether it’s in relationships, job interviews or even friendships, we won’t always be the right fit for everyone. And that’s ok. Just because someone doesn’t choose you (whether personally or professionally), it doesn’t mean you’re not enough. It simply means that what they’re looking for might be different from what you can offer. It’s about finding the people or opportunities that align with who you are, not trying to be something you’re not. The right people will see and appreciate your unique value. Keep putting yourself out there because your people and your opportunities are out there too.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Celebrate the small wins</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Let’s face it, overcoming the fear of rejection is no small feat. So, when you do step out of your comfort zone – whether it’s sending that email, asking for that raise or swiping right – celebrate it. Those moments of courage deserve recognition, no matter the outcome.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Final Thoughts</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of rejection is something many of us carry and it can shape so much of what we do (or don’t do) in life. But it doesn’t have to control us. By understanding where that fear comes from, challenging our beliefs and learning to see rejection as part of the journey, we can begin to move through it. It’s not about eliminating the fear entirely but about learning to live with it in a healthier way. Each small step forward, every risk we take, helps loosen its grip.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Remember, rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth, it’s just a part of life. Each “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">no</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” can lead you closer to the opportunities, people and experiences that are truly right for you. So be kind to yourself, take those small steps and celebrate each win along the way. You’re braver than you think.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-6274" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/">Living with the Fear of Rejection</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Facing the fear of rejection</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 30 Oct 2024 13:45:49 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coping mechanisms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coping with rejection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional well-being]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Fear of Rejection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[live your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managing fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Managing rejection anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mental health tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset and resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Overcoming rejection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Rejection sensitivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-confidence building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-help strategies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fear Series]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=234937</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/">Facing the fear of rejection</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><span style="color: #be9727;"></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">This article forms part of “The Fears Series”. With the Fear of Rejection being so prevalent for many people, we’ve written two articles on the topic: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/living-with-the-fear-of-rejection/">one from Frieda’s perspective</a> (Founder of Braving Boundaries) and one from Alicia’s perspective (Founder of the Legal Belletrist). Take a read.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I was born with rejection as my shroud, and I feel like I’ve worn it ever since.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My mother was adopted as a baby, and I don’t think she ever forgave the universe for this fact. It’s defined her as a person, just like having red(ish) hair defines me. In a way. It’s as if it’s tattooed on her forehead. Like an expiration date on a milk carton. And for some reason, when I came into the world, I was meant to not only be her redeemer, her saviour but the one she could bat this fact against – as if she was bouncing a ball against a wall, expecting it to come right back to her. Almost like playing fetch.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was always her and me against the world. And I know how sweet that sounds. Mother and daughter, two peas in a pod. Until it’s not so sweet. Until it really is you and her against everyone. Until you’re made to believe that no one else could ever care about you like she could. Until you’re made to believe that no one else has your best interests at heart. Including your father. Until you’re made to believe that only she will tell you the truth, will help you succeed, will be there for you. Will ever love you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a lonely place. Your world. Especially when there’s only one other person in it. And she’s sucking all the air out the room. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>My experiences with the fear of rejection</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Young-Angry-Emotional-Mother-Screaming-at-Troubled-Teen-Daughter-at-Home-by-dimaberlinphotos.png" alt="" title="Young Angry Emotional Mother Screaming at Troubled Teen Daughter at Home by dimaberlinphotos" class="wp-image-234963" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Growing up with a mother who is a textbook narcissist and compulsive liar with </span><a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/munchausen-syndrome" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Munchausen syndrome</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is not for the faint at heart. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When you’re a little girl, especially an only child, you’re so susceptible to the things that your mother says and does – as William Makepeace Thackeray said, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Mother is G-d in the eyes of a child.”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As all my friends went to children’s parties, I would be stuck at home. But my mother would always go – it was the right thing to do. Apparently. I was always “sick in bed” even when I wasn’t. When I asked why I wasn’t invited, my mother told me that the birthday girl/boy didn’t want me there. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Strike one. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I was 9 it became difficult to hear. I started to sit really close to the TV just so I could read lips. If my head was turned away from you, I probably wouldn’t hear you. It turned out that I needed to wear hearing aids. Well one at least, in my left ear. When I got it, my mother was furious. It cost them a lot of money, money they needed for other things. And I didn’t really need it. I had lied. I was looking for attention. Rich coming from her. What child lies about needing a hearing aid? I was teased horrendously to boot. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Strike two.</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I started to go through puberty, I matured quicker than all the other girls my age. I got a lot of attention from older boys. Before I could even kiss my first boy, my mother scolded me – no one likes a slut – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“when you lay down with dogs, you get their fleas”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Then as I got a bit older her friend was the mother of boys my age and she would come home to tell me – all the boys were talking about you today; they say your bum is too big and your hair isn’t straight enough. You know no boy wants to date a fat girl. Confidence blown. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Strike three. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With my very first boyfriend, who of course she didn’t approve of – he will never treat you right and will never care about you. Not like I do. Turns out he wasn’t the nicest guy. He hit me – always in places no one could see. He tortured me emotionally, cheated on me constantly over the couple of years we were together. And when we broke up, he told me he never loved me. Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And you’re outta here……</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Every exam I ever wrote my mother (and father) would remind me how much money they were spending on me – despite me taking out a student loan so that I could study law – and that failing wasn’t an option because they didn’t have the money to bail me out. Also, they warned – who wants to be with a “failure” a “loser”? </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The dug out is my home now…. </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/concept-word-imposter-on-cubes-on-a-blue-background.-by-Eugene-Zvonkov-from-Getty-Images.png" alt="" title="concept word imposter on cubes on a blue background. by Eugene Zvonkov from Getty Images" class="wp-image-234962" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I applied to do articles – something you need to do in South Africa, 2 years of training before you can be admitted as an attorney – my parents asked me what I had that would make any of the large law firms take me on? I honestly didn’t have an answer. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Are there any other baseball references?</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I was in a room full of other lawyers, I always felt like there was a sign above my head saying – </span><b><i>imposter here</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. I didn’t belong in the same room as other legal eagles, the ones who had made partner and were driving the new BMW. We had written the same exams, studied the same textbooks and yet I, I don’t know sneaked through the side door when no one was looking. At least, that’s how I felt. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are countless more stories. Stories behind the scenes. Stories of – </span><b><i>the world out there will never accept you, but I will – even with all your flaws</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. And boy she was so quick to point out the flaws. In detail. But in front of people, it was – you’re beautiful, you’re perfect, you’re my angel from heaven. I support you. I love you. I am your ever devoted mother. And best friend. So sweet. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it was all lies. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So many lies it’s hard for the mind to comprehend. In fact, at 42, I have only now discovered the full extent of all the lies and manipulation and deceit. It’s been a long, rocky, heartbreaking road. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What I can tell you from all of this is – </span><b><i>I have always felt rejected long before anyone even had the chance to actually reject me</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. I expected it. The no’s didn’t surprise me – why would they? The you’re not right for this, not a good fit, it’s not you it’s me – insert rejection here – none of it surprised me. It kind of just went with the narrative– </span><b><i>just like my mother’s biological mother rejected her, the world would reject me. </i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">Maybe that was my mothers’ intention the whole time. It makes sense. In retrospect.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, when someone </span><b><i>didn’t</i></b> <span style="font-weight: 400;">reject me, it was such a surprise. I often couldn’t believe how lucky I was – even when the person or the position was very wrong for me. This has led to a lifetime of bad relationships, abuse – physical and emotional, poor job choices, abuse at the workplace, always doing more than what I should be doing personally and professionally, always scared of asking for days off or asking for a raise, eating disorders, self-harm and later diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and depression.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Is it any wonder?</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Overcoming the fear of rejection</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Asian-small-business-owner-working-at-home-office.-Business-by-Natee-Meepians-Images.png" alt="" title="Asian small business owner working at home office. Business by Natee Meepian's Images" class="wp-image-234961" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Look, I know this sounds like I’m parent bashing. And I’m sure there will be people saying – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how long will she blame her mother for her own failings? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Eventually we all have to take responsibility for our own lives, right?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Right. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, let’s put things into perspective. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It wasn’t all bad. I do have happy memories of my parents. They always went “all out” for my Birthdays. Those were such happy days. And for a while – and despite everything that happened – I was close to them in my 20’s and early 30’s. And that’s what makes “zero contact” so hard. Because I miss them. I miss who </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I thought they were</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. And there are times when I feel so lost and so alone that all I want is to contact them. But I can’t. Because they are still who they are. And I am who I am. Or who I am trying to be without them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Somehow, amidst everything, I managed to find the most amazing man – a gentle, kind, caring, loving man, who treats me like a Queen. And he loves me. More than I ever thought I deserved. We have been together for 16 years and happily married for 12. So, my mother was wrong there. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have built a business from the ground up, with nothing but an idea . And I have made it work. Not only that, but I get to do something I love every single day.. Again, my mother was wrong there too. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because when everything else fails and you have no one but yourself to rely on, you step up. You become your own saviour. You pick your own damn self up off the ground and you make it happen. There’s no one else in the world – no matter how much they love you – that can make a success out of your life other than you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So that’s what I did. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s something I have learnt to do. I had to. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’ve learnt how to make myself shine brighter than the things that my mother said. I’ve learnt to be louder than the deafening silence that is my father sitting idly by. And I’ve learnt to accept that this is my life. No one else’s. And I get to choose how I want to lead it. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, nowadays when I hear a no, I take an unemotional, educated view of why it was a no and learn from it. Take the lesson with me as I move forward. It’s not personal. It’s just a no. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because no one and nothing will ever again take my power away! For me that is what the fear of rejection is – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">giving your power away. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Look, it’s hard to feel unwanted. It’s even harder to feel like you’re not worthy. But from personal experience I can say this wholeheartedly – </span><b><i>I would rather it be a no and avoid another bad fit than have it be a yes and find myself in another horrible situation. </i></b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Knowing your true worth – which does take some work, believe me – means knowing that a no, that a perceived rejection, is not necessarily a bad thing. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The are two quotes from two of my heroes that I want to leave you with – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Dita Von Teese</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Walt Disney</span></p> </blockquote></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-6274" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/">Facing the fear of rejection</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-fear-of-rejection/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Your own worst enemy is YOU!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 21 Jan 2023 18:31:14 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life after Law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[alice in wonderland]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[believe in yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business owner]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[determination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dreams]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[jabberwocky]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[live your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-belief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/the-festive-seasons-unexpected-delights-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Building self-belief: 5 Ways to quieten the negative thoughts that hold you back from living to your fullest potential.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/">Your own worst enemy is YOU!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p>When I was a child, I was fearless.</p> <p>I believed I could do anything I set my mind to – and I had big dreams. Bless little me. I wanted to climb mountains, go to the Moon, swim with Mermaids, and fly a plane to Antarctica.</p> <p>I may have been influenced by my favourite novels of all time – Alice in Wonderland and Through the looking glass. I have read both dozens of times (probably more, but who’s counting)?</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was Alice’s line –</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><em>“Sometimes I believe in as many as </em><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=six+impossible+things+before+breakfast+alice+in+wonderland&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&biw=1536&bih=722&tbm=vid&sxsrf=AJOqlzUesyOonKcblO8Rn3OHgM9lP3jlXQ%3A1674216117463&ei=tYLKY43vG6CUhbIPuv2M0Ag&oq=6+impossible+things+before+breakfast&gs_lcp=Cg1nd3Mtd2l6LXZpZGVvEAEYATIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzoFCAAQkQI6CAgAEIAEELEDOgUIABCABDoLCAAQgAQQsQMQgwE6BAgAEEM6BwgAELEDEEM6BwgAEIAEEAo6CAgAEBYQHhAPOggIABAWEB4QClAAWI8mYKw4aABwAHgCgAGYA4gB206SAQgyLTI4LjcuMZgBAKABAcABAQ&sclient=gws-wiz-video#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:d332b5a3,vid:81qfjNLAo5c"><em>six impossible things before breakfast</em></a><em>.”</em></p> <p>That had done me in.</p> <p><em>6 impossible things for breakfast she says? Why – I could gobble that all in one mouthful. I can do 10 impossible things before breakfast”</em>! Ha Alice. Take that!</p> <p>Little did I know how much that fearless attitude affected those around me. How could I know? A child can never truly see how amazing they are. They are too caught up in their own world and “becoming” that they cannot see who they are through other’s eyes.</p> <p>Some of us still can’t.</p> <p>But it was my life-long friend who, on my 21<sup>st</sup> Birthday got up and gave a speech. She said something to me that night that has stuck with me – through better or worse – ever since. She said <em>“Fishy*, you <u>will</u> rule the world one day. I believe in you”. </em></p> <p><em>*a caveat here – my nickname was Fishy because my maiden name was Fisher. Full disclosure. </em></p> <p>Since I had known this friend, let’s call her my “BFFE”, from the day I was fresh from the oven – I figured she had a pretty good insight into my potential. Someone who had known me since birth (still does) can probably see something I could not.</p> <p>And for a while, I believed her.</p> <p>I wasn’t afraid of anything – dance on a table? Sure. Jump out of a plane? Absolutely (who’s packing my parachute?). Swim in shark infested waters – yeah (ok, at the time I wasn’t really aware there were sharks around but nevertheless), let’s go!</p> <p>Fearless.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/alice.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="alice in wonderland" class="wp-image-5149" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>And then suddenly one day, I grew up (unwillingly).</p> <p>That fearlessness and self-belief had dissipated. Like cotton candy in the wind. The moment I graduated with my second degree and my life loomed before me, I got an inkling of reality and responsibility and how hard it would truly be to take over the world. Lady Gaga had stolen my look and I didn’t even have one minion, let alone dozens.</p> <p>But I still read Alice on an annual basis and I still believed I could do 6 impossible things before breakfast. So on to legal articles I went. And then suddenly 6 individual impossible things turned into 1 enormous impossible thing. A feeling I am betting most article clerks/trainees will share.</p> <p>And that 1 enormous impossible thing grew. Like a little snowball that rolls down a hill and accumulates more and more snow so that by the time it lands at your feet it is a ginormous sphere almost ready to take on its own climate – the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=big+bang+theory+intro&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&sxsrf=AJOqlzUTe4w-KtizOon-omKXI9zdAntkew:1674216115123&source=lnms&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiYscaGjdb8AhWORsAKHfS4AkAQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1536&bih=722&dpr=1.25#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f089c26d,vid:6CawmYcysAQ">“big-bang theory”</a> almost starting again…. A hot dense state and everything.</p> <p>And like with most things in life, <strong><em>the more you tell yourself, you can’t, the less you actually can. </em></strong></p> <p>A once fearless girl who had believed she could take over the world, felt “less than”, unequal to the task and pretty scared. Of just about everything, but most significantly – failing. I started saying to myself – “Don’t do that, it wont work” and “You are such a failure” and “Why bother trying, you will only fail”.</p> <p>It was the last one that really got me into some pretty dark, dank places in my life.</p> <p>But almost like Samara from the movie <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=the+ring+girl+out+of+well&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&sxsrf=AJOqlzU3MXShn_UT_B6189vDqvRyRE4m7Q%3A1674216575518&ei=f4TKY6umH4q4gQbAiZqYAg&ved=0ahUKEwjr4Yrijtb8AhUKXMAKHcCEBiMQ4dUDCA8&uact=5&oq=the+ring+girl+out+of+well&gs_lcp=Cgxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAQAzIGCAAQCBAeMgYIABAIEB4yBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzIFCAAQhgMyBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzoKCAAQRxDWBBCwA0oECEEYAEoECEYYAFDFA1iVE2DpGGgBcAF4AIABiAOIAYcVkgEFMi04LjKYAQCgAQHIAQjAAQE&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f5538344,vid:IWj_Q-WinUc">The Ring, crawling out of the well</a>, I somehow managed to pull myself out of my darkest place.</p> <p>It wasn’t pretty, resembled a horror movie and I really needed to wash my hair!</p> <p>But I got out.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/adult-anxiety.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="adult anxiety" class="wp-image-5150" /></span> </div><div id="flicks" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>BUILDING YOUR OWN CASTLE</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>Whoever told you starting your own business – whatever you may be doing – was easy, had clearly not done it themselves.</p> <p>It takes guts, it takes self-belief and it takes someone who doesn’t mind listening to Billy Ocean on a daily basis – because <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S89K49BeBU">“When the going gets tough. The tough get going”, </a></p> <p>The lyrics becoming almost like a daily mantra –</p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>“I got something to say</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I’m gonna put this dream in motion</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I Never let nothing stand in my way</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>When the going gets tough</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>The tough get going</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I’m gonna get myself ‘cross the river</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>That’s the price I’m willing to pay</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I’m gonna make you stand and deliver….”</em></span></p> <p>And every day, especially when you are starting from scratch, takes having confidence in yourself and in what you can achieve. It takes getting up after being knocked down. It takes looking at situations with new eyes and a new perspective. And more than anything, it takes getting out of your own way.</p> <p>Because you have probably had more than one person say to you <span style="color: #c69229;">“</span><em><span style="color: #c69229;">you are your own worst enemy”</span>. </em>I know I have.</p> <p>And so my own version of Alicia in Wonderland continued.</p> <p>I began The Legal Belletrist at the start of 2020, possibly the worst time in my own personal timeline to start a new business. Or so the naysayers said. But I did. And here I find myself doing the very thing I love the most – talking about me. No that’s not right, I meant – writing. That’s it, writing. For a living!</p> <p>I never had this as part of my dreams as a child. I don’t even think I – with the biggest imagination and biggest dreams – could’ve foreseen this incredible turn of events.</p> <p>And yet, I’m doing it.</p> <p>Taking over the world, one article/blog/ (and one day) book at a time.</p> <p>Just like my BFFE said I would.</p> <p>But that doesn’t mean that on my first working day of 2023 I didn’t wake up in a cold sweat, freaked out and worried I wouldn’t be able to write anymore. That I wouldn’t be able to write anything coherent or meaningful. In fact, I am thinking that as I type.</p> <p>I was scared that I would disappoint a client or all my client’s. I was worried that the very thing I loved would disappear. That I would fail. That I would lose my business, my livelihood. Or that someone else would be able to do what I do, only better – Billy Eilish standing in the wings ready to take on <em>my</em> leading role. Someone else stealing my look. Yet again.</p> <p><em>Turns out that even in your own business doing your own thing, away from all the office politics and toxicity, you still have your own Jabberwocky to slay. </em></p> <p>And the most unexpected one are your own negative thoughts – they can be the hardest. The thing is, all this negative noise is good for is keeping you in your status quo, stuck in the mud and deep down your own dark well, like Samara (and no-one needs that bad-hair day). </p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/change-your-mindset.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="change your mindset" class="wp-image-5151" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div id="lessons" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>5 ways to slay your inner jabberwocky</strong></h2> <p>Now anyone that has read Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” knows that it is a playful, whimsical poem that makes little sense, but is at the same time, beautifully bewildering and fun.</p> <p>The same does not however go for the creature itself – which is a rather scary, horrific creature that is threatening to destroy Underland. And the Jabberwocky – which in your particular circumstance and the villain in <em>this</em> story – has got to go!</p> <p>So how do we go about slaying it?</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><em>Take a moment </em></strong>– when you hear yourself talking badly about YOU, stop for a minute and realise what is happening. Realise that this is just your anxiety or an anxious moment that is taking hold of you. The thoughts are irrational, nonsensical and can threaten your very success and affect self-esteem. Realise that you are in a type of fight or flight (or in my case freeze) scenario that does not serve you right now. And then take a deep breath. In and out. And repeat. Then – and this is important – stick up for yourself, as you would do for a good friend. Tell your inner voice – No. That’s not true. It’s irrational. Because you deserve protection from your inner Jabberwocky sometimes too. Remember that.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><em>Identify exactly what you are feeling</em></strong> – it’s very easy to feel negative about something, to feel like a failure before you have even tried. But understanding what triggered that feeling in the first place is key to slaying your inner Jabberwocky. Why do you feel this way? What was the precursor, what was the trigger? Did you see someone post something on the socials about a moment of success and feel envious, pressure, or subconsciously wonder how they did it? It’s a healing process to genuinely think about how your thoughts can affect your emotions. An effective way to do this is to write it all down – what you were thinking and how it made you feel. That way you can start to unpack any underlying emotions that need to be addressed. Think of this as starting a journal to help YOU. Not only will this create self-awareness, but it will also help you truly identify your inner thoughts and feelings.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><em style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Replace negativity with positivity </em></strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">– sure, it’ easier said than done. It’s hard to be positive all the time. But it’s time to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. It sounds so simplistic – like “sure why didn’t I think of that”? But the truth is, we often don’t. We don’t remember what we have already achieved or what we have already overcome. We forget our accomplishments so easily. I’m not even sure why this is the case. But it always seems like it’s easier to believe the negative over the positive. So, changing that is key. Every time you think to yourself “I will never succeed” or “I’m a failure”, remind yourself of everything you have already done, everything you have already achieved. And the more you think about those positive things the less you will focus on the negative Nancy in your own head. Your inner Jabberwocky is not who you should be listening to. It should be your inner Alice – remembering the 6 impossible things she did before breakfast!</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><em><strong>Take it easy on yourself</strong> – </em>living in such a fast-paced society, everything feels like it should have happened yesterday. You should already be listed on the stock exchange after just starting your start-up, right? You should already be listed on the Forbes Top 50 most successful people list, because you published one opinion article and have changed the world. At 40 you should already be a director of a global Law Firm, right? By 35 you should already have 2 kids – a perfect pigeon pair. How lovely. What nonsense! There is no time limit here. There is no age we should be doing anything by. It’s all according to our own timelines. So, take it easy on yourself. Instead, take a moment and celebrate what you have achieved and look forward to what comes next. Stop measuring yourself against everyone else. We are all on our own journeys.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><em><strong>Focus</strong> – </em>something everyone who has ever run their own department or own business will tell you is key. Having focus. It is all too easy to get bogged down by all the little “to-do’s”, the accumulating unread emails in your inbox, the constant sales pitches or touch bases. It is amazingly easy to get overwhelmed. It can feel like you haven’t done enough – there is still more you should be doing. Again, overwhelm. It happens. But this feeling of overwhelm can cause you to lose focus on what your end-goal is. What you want to achieve. And when this happens, it can feel like your dreams are falling by the wayside. So, don’t let that happen. Keep laser focused on what you want out of your work, your livelihood. What is important to you. If it helps, write down what you want to achieve and stick it on your wall – like a daily reminder of why you started whatever it is you started in the first place.<span style="color: #008000;"><b><i></i></b></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/believe-in-yourself.jpg" alt="" title="believe in yourself" class="wp-image-5152" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>The take-away from this article simply is – everything is achievable if you look at the facts that support and drive your ambition and desires to work for and on yourself.</p> <p>Less listening to the inner Jabberwocky. More listening to your inner Alice! Instead of your own worst enemy, become your own best friend and most fervid supporter.</p> <p>Believing in YOU is the absolute best thing you can do for your self-esteem, confidence and self-belief.</p> <p><strong><em>It’s time to become fearless again. It’s time to tackle 6 impossible things before breakfast!</em></strong></p> <p>Because you can….</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit<span> </span><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: legalwhizz@gmail.com </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/">Your own worst enemy is YOU!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Saying “Yes” when you should be saying “No”</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/saying-yes-when-you-should-be-saying-no/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/saying-yes-when-you-should-be-saying-no/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 25 Oct 2021 08:57:02 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[flexible working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[happy lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[hybrid working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[it's ok to say no]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law firm mentality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[learn to say no]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[live your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[preserve your time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[productivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[saying no]]></category> <category><![CDATA[take control of your time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time management]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workaholic]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3273</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Learning to say NO is an important step towards creating healthy boundaries. Here are some strategies to help you say NO!</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/saying-yes-when-you-should-be-saying-no/">Saying “Yes” when you should be saying “No”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>The pressing need for boundaries…</em></h3> <p>By now, we all know that the COVID-19 pandemic has caused many of us to work from home. <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-work-from-home-saga/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A new saga</a> has inevitably emerged and <em>it is not going anywhere. </em></p> <p>In fact, companies are looking to extend the work-from-home situation into a <a href="https://ajs.co.za/2021/08/10/the-best-of-both-worlds-awaits/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">hybrid model</a> where employees will be working part time at home and part time in the office. The so-called “best of both worlds”. In fact, according to the <a href="https://hbr.org/2021/07/4-strategies-for-building-a-hybrid-workplace-that-works" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Harvard Law review</a>, global research has revealed that<em> “72% of corporate leaders plan to offer a hybrid model”</em>. </p> <p>And that may sound encouraging, but there is a saying that continuously pops up – <em>“if it’s too good to be true, it usually is”. </em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>A silver lining or a storm cloud waiting to burst?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/1-1024x768-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3279"/></figure> <p>We have set up home offices in our spare bedrooms or on our dining room tables and have made the most out of our new situations, often forcing ourselves to find the silver-lining of it all. </p> <p>So we have focused on the positives by relishing in the flexibility our work-from-home lives have afforded us. Many of us have even become more productive, resulting in an almost new-found “extra time” on our hands. <em>Who knew you could get so much done in one day by simply staying put?</em> </p> <p>But the article on Business News Daily, <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/15259-working-from-home-more-productive.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working From Home Increases Productivity</a>, supports this theory by revealing that <em>“remote employees work 1.4 more days per month than their office-based counterparts, resulting in more than three additional weeks of work per year”.</em></p> <p>And again, that seems encouraging. </p> <p><em>But… is that too good to be true?</em></p> <p>Despite this flexibility and productiveness, our work-from-home situation has made the separation between our work-lives and home-lives extremely difficult. A single door is often not enough to keep the family noise at bay. The inevitable result? <em>The lines between work and home have become extremely blurred.</em></p> <p>And for many of us who have been striving for the comfortable equilibrium that is work-life balance (or <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/markcperna/2020/06/01/how-to-blend-work-and-life-without-losing-your-mind/?sh=1cdf3ea63bbf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">work-life blend</a> as the millennials call it), it seems like all our efforts have gone up in smoke. <em>Is work-life balance/blend </em><a href="https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/309121" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>even possible anymore</em></a><em>?</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/4-1024x768-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3282"/></figure> <p>Let’s be honest, the pandemic has changed the way we feel about prioritising our responsibilities. With all this flexibility and new-found ”extra” time on our hands (due to being <em>“so productive”</em>), a lot of us (especially those of us with our own small start-up businesses) have inevitably <em>started saying “yes” more often than we should be. </em></p> <p>We say yes to please other people, to be team players, to seem more capable, more reliable, more trust worthy and ultimately to help others at our own expense. We say yes because we need the work and the money. Times are tough. So we are resorting to “making hay while the sun shines”. At the cost of our own mental health. </p> <p>Our theme song has changed from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlY90lG_Fuw" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Freedom</a> by Pharrell Williams where we were once shouting our <em>“first name is Free, last name is Dom”</em> to Roy Orbison’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNAVrQ96mpA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">You Got it</a> – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Anything you want, you got it.</em></p><p><em>Anything you need, you got it.</em></p><p><em>Anything at all, you got it”.</em> </p></blockquote> <p>“You got it” is not a bad song, it’s just not what we should be saying. All. The. Time.</p> <p>Because while we might want to say “yes” to everything and “no” to nothing, we need to realise that <em>that is simply not possible</em>.</p> <p>And whilst we continue looking for our silver linings, it kind of feels like <em>storm clouds are rolling in</em>. And waiting to burst. Because with all the “Yesses” being thrown around, <em>something has got to give</em>. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It’s raining, it’s pouring!</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/3-1-1024x768-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3281"/></figure> <p>The storm clouds have indeed burst and your ”Yesses” are falling to the earth amidst thunder and lightning, drenching the ground all around you with your unfulfilled promises. </p> <p>You are feeling overwhelmed (understandably) with all the things that you have said yes to. Work is mounting up and the possibility is increasing that in fact, you won’t have any extra time on your hands to get all the work done, that you may miss deadlines and that you may let people down. </p> <p><em>After all, life is full of trade-offs. </em></p> <p>Saying yes to everything, means you are automatically saying no to everything else. And your priorities will start to suffer. And so will your work and your family commitments. </p> <p>Are you asking yourself the right questions here? Are you saying yes to the things you really want to say yes to? <strong>Or are you saying yes because you </strong><strong><em>don’t know how to say no</em></strong><strong>? Or do not know when </strong><strong><em>it is ok to say no?</em></strong></p> <p><a href="https://www.lollydaskal.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Lolly Daskal</a> believes that saying <em>“no is one of the most important skills you can cultivate. Done right, “no” can help you build better relationships and free you up to do the things that are important to you”</em>. </p> <p>Overextending yourself by over-promising and under-delivering, will inevitably get you trapped in the viscous cycle that is stress, anxiety and possible depression because you will, inevitably, burn out. Do not repeat the mistakes of our <em>pre-work-from-home</em> lifestyles. We should have learnt better by now… </p> <p>After all, World Mental Health Day (which was on Sunday the 10<sup>th</sup> of October this year), reminds us that our mental health is as important as our physical health. Sometimes even more so. And we need to be aware that spreading ourselves too thin has consequences that often result in our mental health suffering. </p> <p>And that is just not ok. Not anymore. Not when we do actually know better.</p> <p>Perhaps it is about time that we <em>learn to say no instead of saying yes!</em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Let’s change our narrative!</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/2-1024x768-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3280"/></figure> <p>Perhaps the first way to combat the possibilities of continuously saying yes when we should be saying no is by changing the idea that work-life balance (at the moment) may not be as attainable as it once was (when we were working at our respective offices). And that perhaps our focus should be more on <em>the balance between saying yes and saying no</em>. </p> <p>An article titled <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/06/the-prioritization-plan-that-brought-balance-to-my-work-and-home-life/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ could revolutionize your work/life balance</a> states that we need to <em>“learn to say “no” in order to be able to say “yes” </em><strong><em>when it matters most”.</em></strong><em> </em></p> <p>And that is crucial – remember in life there are always trade-offs. So make sure you are choosing the right ones. </p> <p>In addition – </p> <p><em>“When you know your priorities and values – what you want time and energy to say yes to – saying no becomes much simpler” – </em><a href="https://www.mas.co.nz/hub/how-to-say-no-so-you-can-say-yes/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How to say ‘No’ so you can say ‘Yes’</a>.</p> <p>And that again, is not only crucial but is the crux of doing away with this “Roy Orbisonism” of “<em>Anything you want, you got it”</em> mentality. </p> <p>Because you need to learn what your priorities are so that when it comes time to say no, you are actually able to. The answer will be easy because your goals will be clear. </p> <p>In fact, <a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/boundaries-why-you-say-yes-when-you-really-mean-no#1" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">PsychCentral</a> states that <em>“A true yes — a yes that is in line with your values and best interest — you feel with your whole body. It’s easy. There is no doubt. There is no worry.</em></p> <p>And this starts by firstly knowing that <em>it is actually ok to say no in the first place.</em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>No is an answer</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/5-1024x768-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3283"/></figure> <p>Not only is it ok to say no but it is sometimes necessary. </p> <p><em>Saying no is actually a perfectly acceptable answer. </em></p> <p>Remember – when you say yes to one thing, you are automatically saying no to something else. And vice-versa. So your choices as to what is more important become ever more relevant. </p> <p>At this point, you may be asking – <em>but how do I go about actually saying no? </em></p> <p>Well, it starts with a number of things – acknowledgements about what you can and cannot do, admissions as to what means most to you and what you are willing to sacrifice, and prioritising those things – </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><em>Firstly, acknowledge that you are not superhuman (read: you cannot do everything)</em></strong> – saying yes to everything will leave you feeling trapped, drowning and struggling for air. You will have no time or energy for yourself and your own best interests will fall by the wayside. So start by choosing the things that you can genuinely do and want to say yes to. Align your life and your choices with your values, with the things that you can do and the things that bring you joy. Stop saying yes for the sake of saying yes.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><em>Set your own personal boundaries</em></strong><em> </em>– by setting boundaries between yourself and others you can get closer to a feeling of equilibrium (that so-called sweet spot of work-life balance). You will show others that you know your own value and are willing to stick up for it. And this starts by making sure that you are clear about what you are actually able to take on. So be clear on what is non-negotiable to you and what you are willing to consider. By having well defined desires, responsibilities and goals, you not only gain clarity over your work but also gain control over your <em>work-life and home-life</em>. Again defining those boundaries. And these boundaries need to be communicated to work colleagues, to clients as well as to family and other personal relationships (which are often harder to do). By doing this, you will be able to prioritise tasks more effectively and efficiently. And feel more capable and more able to do the things you genuinely say yes to.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><em>Prioritise proactively</em></strong>– in order to say “No” confidently you need to understand what is important to you. Define those things. Understand them and be clear about them. By doing so, you will find yourself saying “no” more often to ensure that you can pursue the things that are most important to you and to your job. As <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/06/the-prioritization-plan-that-brought-balance-to-my-work-and-home-life/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ester Banque puts it</a> – by learning to proactively prioritise she has learned to <em>“divide and conquer, making sure the right level of oversight or involvement is in place without the need for unproductive “face time.” We are also identifying non-negotiables at work and at home, managing the all-important expectations”.</em> And managing expectations is key in prioritising your work-life and home-life. Again, when you are clear on what is most important, you will know exactly where to focus your energy.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><em>Never compromise your integrity</em></strong>– as <a href="https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/stop-saying-yes-when-you-want-to-say-no/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Lolly Daskal puts it </a> – <em>“Your integrity sets your standards and gives you a code of morality and ethics. Use it to guide you in saying no and you’ll always make consistent choices that are grounded in your beliefs”</em>. So ensure to keep your integrity in check – if you have to question your integrity or the morality of something, say no. Always.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><em>Deciding on whether it is really worth it</em>?</strong> – sometimes it is as simple as that. Maybe you find yourself in the position where you have committed to something but later find yourself doubting as to whether you can actually cope with the work. You may start to think of ways of getting out of the commitment. You may start to think up excuses, risking being caught out on a white lie. <em>Is it worth it?</em> The stress, the anguish and the doubt? Saying no outright may be the absolute best option. Remember – No is a perfectly acceptable answer. As Paulo Coelho said – <em>“If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive”. </em>So saying no should be easy.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p><strong><em>Realise that you will not please everyone</em></strong><em> – </em>this is a recipe for disaster, for stress, anguish and fear (of disappointing others and yourself). By saying no, you may be afraid that your boss, your client, or your family will think less of you. Truth is – they won’t. Saying no actually ensures that you are promoting self-care and are ensuring that you always operate at your best. And that can only be respected.</p> </div> </div> <p>Simply put – you need to be able to protect yourself from burnout. You need to give yourself a break by giving yourself balance and by <em>being ok with saying no</em>. Understand your limits and realise that your own best interests are important too. Finding a balance between meeting your own needs and saying yes to others (and saying yes to work) should start by asking yourself – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“What are my needs?” </em></p><p><em>“How much of my time, energy and resources do I need to meet those needs?” </em></p><p><em>“What can I genuinely do for others?” </em></p><p><em>“How much can I take on?”</em></p><p><em>“How much of my time can I dedicate to others?” </em></p></blockquote> <p>Everyone will answer these questions differently. But the important thing is <em>to find the balance that works best for you.</em></p> <p>To gain clarity and control over your life (and your work) may include seeking guidance from a trained professional who can guide you as you navigate saying “No” (it sometimes takes practice). Get in touch with <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/my-story/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Frieda Levycky</a> of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Braving Boundaries</a> for a consult on getting your priorities on track. </p> <p>To close off and to illustrate the importance of <em>saying no</em> we turn to the quote by James Altucher from <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17977529-choose-yourself" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Choose yourself</a> – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Every time you say yes to something you don’t want to do, this will happen: you will resent people, you will do a bad job, you will have less energy for the things you were doing a good job on, you will make less money, and yet another small percentage of your life will be used up, burned up, a smoke signal to the future saying, “I did it again.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>Don’t risk “doing it again”. Change the cycle. Change the narrative and learn that <em>setting boundaries, managing expectations and saying no is perfectly fine. </em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-default"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/saying-yes-when-you-should-be-saying-no/">Saying “Yes” when you should be saying “No”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/saying-yes-when-you-should-be-saying-no/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Work-Life Balance: Time Matters</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/work-life-balance-time-matters/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/work-life-balance-time-matters/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[@dmin2019]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 02 May 2020 08:02:00 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Perfectionism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[avoid burnout]]></category> <category><![CDATA[basic balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[burnout]]></category> <category><![CDATA[choices]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[live your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[no time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[priorities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sacrifices]]></category> <category><![CDATA[take a break]]></category> <category><![CDATA[take back control]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life blend]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life blend]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workaholic]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>When did the phrase: “I just don’t have time” last slip out of your mouth? And what did you sacrifice as a result?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-life-balance-time-matters/">Work-Life Balance: Time Matters</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Work-Life Balance: Time Matters </strong></h2> <p class="has-text-align-center"><em>“We can make up for lost money, but we can’t make up for lost time.” – Simon Sinek</em></p> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><span style="color:#c69229" class="has-inline-color">Introduction:</span></h3> <p>When did the phrase: “<strong><em>I just don’t have time</em></strong>” last slip out of your mouth? And what did you sacrifice as a result?</p> <p>Was it:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>a call with your mum?</li><li>personal time with your partner?</li><li>dinner with your friends?</li><li>a yoga class?</li><li>the kids’ school play?</li><li>a visit to the doctor?</li><li>a date?</li></ul> <p>It’s a reality: as lawyers, our lives are busy. With billable hour targets set at up to 2,000 hours a year and lawyers regularly working 50 to 80-hour weeks, it is no surprise that time feels scarce. Let’s be honest though: yes, work is demanding, but there are successful lawyers, with the same number of hours in the day, who manage to have a happy and fulfilling life outside of the office. What secret to life do they have that you don’t?</p> <p class="has-text-align-center has-text-color has-normal-font-size" style="color:#c69229"><strong>They make a choice.</strong></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Losing control of my time and my priorities</h3> <p>I want to tell you about one of the best pieces of advice I ever received.</p> <p>Back in December 2007, I was a junior associate working for one of the big international law firms. My transaction was completing on 31 December and I was in charge of finalising the documentation and making sure the bank transfers ran smoothly. Needless to say, they did not. An exchange rate fluctuation kicked out the calculations and money went into the wrong accounts! It was a complete catastrophe: my Partner was yelling at me from their holiday home blaming me for the mess, the poor lady in charge of the physical transfers quit and I was the only person in the office trying to manage the fall out.</p> <p>Around midday, mum called me to ask what time I’d be home for the New Year Celebrations. The conversation went something like this:</p> <pre class="wp-block-verse"><em>“Mum, there has been a disaster at work. I’m stressed and I just don’t have the time to talk.” “Ok love. Just let me know what time you will be at the station and we’ll come and collect you. Your grandmother is so excited to see you.” “Mum – You don’t understand. I’m the only person here. I can’t just leave. This is really important. I don’t even know if I can make it home for New Year.” “Oh, OK darling. Well, just keep us in the loop.”</em></pre> <p>I put down the phone and felt a pang of guilt soar through my veins. I could hear the disappointment in mum’s voice and I knew how upset my grandmother would be too. I really wanted to go home, but what could I do?!<strong><em> I didn’t have a choice</em></strong><em>.</em></p> <p>By 4pm, the banks were closed and it was evident that the matter was not going to get resolved that day. I’d missed my train home, but managed to catch the overnight bus. I would miss the evening celebrations, but at least I would be home for New Year’s Day and the long weekend.</p> <p>It was my step-father who picked me up from the bus depot. I burst into tears the minute I saw him and he gave me a big hug and listened as I recounted the story. Once I’d finished, he said:</p> <p><em>“I’m glad you made it home, but your mum and your grandmother were really disappointed you missed last night.”</em></p> <p>I could feel the annoyance growing inside me. <em>“Did you not hear what I just said? I didn’t choose to miss it. I was really busy. I didn’t have the time to make my train. I couldn’t just leave!”</em></p> <p>His response was short and simple and has remained with me ever since:</p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote has-background is-style-solid-color quoteblockgrey" style="background-color:#686252"><blockquote class="has-text-color has-white-color"><p><strong>“Everyone has the same amount of time; it’s just how they choose to prioritise their time which differs.”</strong></p><cite>My step-father</cite></blockquote></figure> <p></p> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Your time matters: <span style="" class="has-inline-color"><strong style=""><font color="#c69229">You always have a choice</font></strong></span></h3> <p>It took me many years before I put my step-father’s advice into practice. Back then, I never really felt like I had a choice. How could I explain that dinner with my friends was more important than work? The reality was though that, back then, it wasn’t. Work was always the most important thing to me. Whether consciously or subconsciously, I chose work.</p> <p class="has-text-align-center has-text-color has-normal-font-size" style="color:#c69229"><strong><strong>I always chose work.</strong></strong></p> <p>It was only as I got older that I realised the negative impact that my constant choice was having on other areas of my life: poor health, insomnia, a confusing romantic life etc. Check out the article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-for-lawyers-who-want-to-improve-their-mental-health/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">10 tips for lawyers who want to improve their mental health</a> for some helpful tips to counter the negative impact of over working.</p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote has-background is-style-solid-color quoteblockgrey" style="background-color:#686252"><blockquote class="has-text-color has-very-light-gray-color"><p>I needed to shift my priorities if I was going to achieve a more balanced and meaningful life.</p></blockquote></figure> <p><em>So, next time you hear yourself saying: “I’m too busy” or “<em>I just don’t have the time</em>”, I invite you to consciously stop and ask yourself these three questions:</em></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69229"><strong>“What am I prioritising here?”</strong></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69229"><strong>“What am I sacrificing?”</strong></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69229"><strong>“Is this the option I want to choose?”</strong></p> <p class="has-text-align-center">________________________________________________</p> <p>If you are looking to re-prioritise your time, but are struggling with implementing the change, then that’s where I come in. I know how hard it is to change habitual behaviour. Amongst, other things, it triggers feelings of guilt, disloyalty and selfishness and forces you out of your comfort zone. But once you take the initial steps, the benefits of nurturing other aspects of your life become evident.</p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="833" class="wp-image-2667" style="width: 1500px;" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Time-for-a-change-blog-1.jpg" alt="Ready to get started - Work With Me"></a></p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"></a></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-life-balance-time-matters/">Work-Life Balance: Time Matters</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/work-life-balance-time-matters/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>