<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>let it go Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/let-it-go/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/let-it-go/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 30 May 2024 05:28:36 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>let it go Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/let-it-go/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Fear of Letting Go</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 30 May 2024 05:28:27 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[baby steps]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[let it go]]></category> <category><![CDATA[letting go]]></category> <category><![CDATA[letting go of the past]]></category> <category><![CDATA[start small]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress management]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the fear of letting go]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6191</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/">The Fear of Letting Go</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Part of the </span><b><i>The Fears</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> series)</span></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Chicken soup, it’s one of those things that I’ve grown up with. And every single time I have it, a wave of nostalgia sweeps over me. No matter what I’m going through, I immediately feel better. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And chicken soup, like many things in my life, carries a certain amount of nostalgia. It reminds me of my grandmother who would make chicken soup from scratch, something she would do on a weekly basis. And something she would do more often if I had the flu or a cold. It was her way of giving me a big, get-well hug from across the wall. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You see, I grew up next door to my grandparents and spent so much time with them it felt like home. I learnt to play card games from my grandmother on days my mother had a migraine – something that happened often. In fact, growing up I was more at my grandparent’s home than I was at my parents’ home. I didn’t mind, there was less drama there. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’ve been thinking about them a lot recently. Both because of the deterioration of familial ties in recent times but also because I have been going through old family photos and gathering items together – inherited from my grandparents – which I now need to sort into </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">keep, donate </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> sell</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> piles. We are starting to downscale as we look to move to Cape Town in the coming months and for some or other reason, I have accumulated a mass of “stuff” that I neither like, use or want. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But some of this “stuff” is not so much sentimental as it is “theirs”. And the process of getting rid of it, is a burden that feels too heavy to take. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It feels like I am losing them all over again. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I know that isn’t true. They are only things after all. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There’s an old writing desk that my grandmother loved. It used to be where she opened letters (when people still wrote them), where she read newspapers and magazines (when people still read them) and where she did her weekly accounts (when they were still sent by mail). It has marks on it from where she spilled her tea one time and left a hot tea pot. It’s old (it belonged to her mother), warped with age and a little rickety if I’m honest. It’s also heavy and in a dark wood, not really matching anything else in my home. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There’s also an old rocking chair that my grandfather loved. It’s where he spent most afternoons dozing after a long day. It’s where he watched the 7 o’clock news from and from where he drank his tea. It’s also where he spent his last days rocking along, with a red checkered blanket covering his legs. The same red blanket is still on it today. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They are memories of my grandparents. Flickers of the lives they led and the people they were. And while they are just things, it’s very hard to let them go. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>The Process of Letting Go</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/blog-fear-of-letting-go-3.png" alt="" title="blog - fear of letting go (3)" class="wp-image-6205" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s here that I find myself – with this absolute fear of letting go. Of the items and what they mean. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Letting go of two people who meant so much to me. Letting go of a past that I don’t want to address nor forget. Letting go of memories that mean so much to me. All because I’m trying to make room in my life for new beginnings, for new memories, for a new life in a different city. I should be excited, jumping for joy really. But here I sit cross legged on the carpet crying into my tea. My cats think I’ve lost the plot. My husband knows I have. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As my tea gets cold, with me staring into the distance, a thought crawls up my spine – is it them I’m afraid of losing or is just my fear of losing an item that has a self-proclaimed meaning attached to it? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In other words, if I decide to sell, donate or give the rocking chair or writing desk away will it make it easier to move or could I potentially find a place for it in my new home (keeping in mind that we have already decided that these items will not be moving with us). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s then that I decide to Google “Fear of Letting Go” and this pops up </span><a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/loss-aversion/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Loss Aversion: Understanding and Overcoming Our Fear of Letting Go</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, and the first two points seem to apply to my situation – at least in part –</span></p> <blockquote> <ol> <li><b><i>“Acknowledge the Fear of Loss</i></b></li> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first step is to recognize when loss aversion is influencing your decisions. Are you keeping an item because it moves you toward your purpose? Or are you giving extra weight to the fear of what you may be losing?</span></i></p> <ol start="2"> <li><b><i> Redefine ‘Loss’ and ‘Gain’</i></b></li> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Rather than focusing on what you are giving up, shift your perspective to what you’re gaining through owning less. Minimalism is about </span></i><a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/add/"><b><i>addition</i></b></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> more than it is about subtraction—more space, less stress, increased focus on what truly matters. The loss of physical items pales in comparison to these gains.”</span></i></ol> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Reading this article got me thinking – and while I in no way proclaim to be a minimalist – perhaps there are steps that I could take that could ease my fear of letting go? Not just of the furniture but of the memories and of the past attached to them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Which leads me to the first step of five. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Acknowledge the past</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – don’t dance around the issue, instead identify whatever you are afraid of letting go of and confront it as best you can. Don’t allow your past to loom over you like a monster hiding under your bed. Remember: It happened, but it’s not happening any longer. Ignoring or suppressing the things you’re afraid of letting go of will only lead to it disrupting aspects of your life. So, if there are any necessary actions to be taken, take them. Do you need to have a conversation with someone you have pent up animosity towards or someone you need closure from? Is there something you need to get off your chest? Speaking about the past, whether it is with friends or a therapist, is an effective way to release whatever emotions you’re hoarding from that experience. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Releasing these emotions is the first step to letting go.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Look for the positives</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – there’s no denying that it can be hard to look back on situations that may have hurt us, that may have been disappointing or where you need closure. But regardless of how negative that situation may have been, think of the positives. Is there something that you can learn from the experience? Instead of dwelling on what could’ve been or what was, think of what can be. What can you get out of the situation that will be of use to you in the future? How can you move on if you aren’t able to get the closure you need? What positive reinforcement are you able to take that can help you close the book on whatever situation you are struggling to let go of? </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Baby steps</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– letting go doesn’t have to be an all or nothing process. Break the process down into small, manageable steps. That way, letting go will feel attainable. Progress is progress. Celebrate each and every small achievement along the way – they all matter. Positive reinforcement helps shift your focus from the difficult past into a positive future, from what you’re saying goodbye to, to what you’re gaining from the process. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/blog-fear-of-letting-go-1.png" alt="" title="blog - fear of letting go (1)" class="wp-image-6203" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Embrace the joy of letting go</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the joy of what we will find ahead is much greater than what we leave behind. Keep that thought in mind—every time you let go of something you take another step towards a more intentional life. This mindset can help counterbalance the initial discomfort of addressing difficult pasts or disappointing outcomes. And while our tendency may be to overvalue the loss we feel from those situations, we can overwhelm that tendency with the promise of something better – letting them go.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Strive to live in the present</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">today is more important than yesterday, we all know that. That’s why it’s called the present. It’s therefore important that we fully immerse ourselves with the present, that we occupy ourselves with things that make us happy, with activities that we enjoy. We need to make new memories that we can look back on with contentment. Oftentimes, we can’t help but ruminate on the possibilities, the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">might have beens</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. But the truth is, this is all we get. Looking back gets us nowhere. Ultimately, we can’t change the past — we can only control our actions in the present. So, dedicate your time to pursuing your desires and creating that future you would like to see.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the above five steps in mind and a proper plan in place, I feel better equipped to not only deal with the pieces of my past that I need to address before moving on but also the literal pieces from my past – the rocking chair and writing desk that need new homes. It’s funny how we bury things so deep down that they resurface at the most inopportune moments. But here we are, adulting our lives away, needing to deal with issues as they arise. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">No one said adulting would be fun, only that it would be a journey. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you are on your own journey towards letting go, I wish you luck, patience, and peace. There’s nothing to be afraid of if you deal with it head on. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-4.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (4)" class="wp-image-6189" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/">The Fear of Letting Go</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>