<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>legal talent Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/legal-talent/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/legal-talent/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2022 10:53:21 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>legal talent Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/legal-talent/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Finding Motivation at 40</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2021 09:41:30 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivated]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[extrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling inspired]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your groove]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[intrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lacking motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate me]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[negative motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[online challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Staying motivated is hard - unless the task you are looking to achieve has a greater, positive purpose. Here's what keeps me motivated.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/">Finding Motivation at 40</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It’s an inside job today!</em></strong></h2> <p>I have been thinking a lot about the term “High-Fliers” recently. And what it really means.</p> <p>This is probably due to the fact that during all this “Lockdown” time I have been indulging in some true RomCom classics, like the Bridget Jones trilogy (it’s an obvious one). Of specific meaning, at least to this particular conversation, is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DFQNPx5sxA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Bridget Jones – Edge of Reason</a>. It’s hilarious. But it is also significant. For a number of reasons. </p> <p>Of particular importance is the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OdXXYKj6rY" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Legal Quiz scene</a> and the discussion between Bridget and Giles Benwick – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote is-style-default"><blockquote><p><em> “<strong>Giles</strong> – You see, there’s the high-fliers, like Annabel and Mark Darcy and there’s the gorgeous girls, like Rebecca there and there’s the rest of us.</em></p><p><em><strong>Bridget</strong> – Like you and me, you mean?</em></p><p><em><strong>Giles</strong> – Absolutely. l mean, look at the state of us. You and me stumbled into the VlP room by mistake and it’s only a matter of moments before they show us the door”. </em></p></blockquote></figure> <p>You see, I have found myself relating more and more to the Bridget’s and Giles’s of the world rather than the high-fliers like Mark Darcy and Rebecca Gillies. Stumbling into the VIP room myself. By mistake of course. And now waiting to be shown the door……</p> <p>So the other day, when I tried to think of who the high-fliers in my circle of friends and colleagues were, there was one name that came to mind immediately – <em>Frieda Levycky</em>.</p> <p>She is the very definition of a “High Flier”. I mean she has done more than most. Climbing mountains whilst achieving Senior Associate status (after only a few years of practice), becoming Head of Global Mergers & Acquisitions by 34, General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36. And always remaining in tip- top physical condition by spending hours in the gym achieving abs of steel (making a lot of us green with envy). </p> <p><em>And that’s a long list of tick items that some of us have yet to tick. </em></p> <p>Whilst I, on the other hand, resemble very much (not because of any illicit drugs but because of a general sense of “WTF”?) Bridget on the beach in Thailand, dazed and confused – <a href="https://tenor.com/view/bridget-jones-renee-zellweger-edge-of-reason-bridget-jones-diary-workingtitlefilms-gif-15268280" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Looking at all the pretty colours</em></a><em>….</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3088"/><figcaption>© 2004 Universal Studios and Studio Canal and Miramax Film Corp.</figcaption></figure> <p>You can imagine my shock, when I heard that Frieda was <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">struggling to find motivation</a> after varying levels of lockdown resulting in months and months of inconsistency and <em>“loss of mojo”.</em> </p> <p>It seems that even the High Fliers had come down to earth to spend a little time with the rest of us. But let’s be honest. Frieda is only human. Not infallible nor super human. </p> <p>She is<em> “just a girl standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a cupcake” </em>kind of girl.</p> <p>Just like the rest of us. </p> <p>And we can all relate. </p> <p>Turning 40 has a way of sneakily creeping up on you. On tippy toes. In the dark. Making no noise at all, until it gets right up behind you and claps its hands.</p> <p><em>FRRRREEEEEAKING you the hell out!</em></p> <p>And with my own sneaky 40 creeping up on me too, I just had to sit down with Frieda to find out <em>what’s what.</em> </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What’s the T girlfriend?</em></strong></h2> <p>So like all girlfriends, Frieda and I got together over a lovely glass of Chardonnay (via Zoom of course) and discussed mojo, the need to find motivation, what can deter you, what can encourage you and of course what turning 40 means….</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3089"/></figure> <p>What set this all in motion was Frieda’s feeling of being a little lack-lustered and struggling to get back to her active self. Being someone who thrives on staying active, who thrives on challenges and who thrives on excelling, she decided to start the “Motivate Me” challenge. She has set out to do a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August – focusing on healthy, positive intrinsic motivation (i.e. internal rewards) rather than focusing on any negativity (which she has done before). </p> <p>She is on day 22 and so far, has had a number of revelations…..</p> <p>But – <em>So far, so good. </em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The struggles of keeping motivated</em></strong></h2> <p>Frieda readily admits that she has historically been motivated and driven by fear and/or pain to succeed (obviously a negative motivation). No one can deny that it got her to the top. Quite quickly. But it also left her with scars and traumas that she has had to deal with over the years. </p> <p>Discovering and admitting that she has previously been motivated by fear and pain, led to a number of truths. <em>Hard truths.</em> </p> <p>As an example, this is the first time Frieda has ever undertaken a challenge or set out to achieve a goal from a positive intrinsic standpoint. And it has proven, in some circumstances, to be difficult. Previously Frieda had always had a clear goal in mind and often ended up taking on too much, justifying to herself that she was working hard to achieve a goal. And she would be rewarded at the end of it by a promotion or financial incentive. She has always been motivated by a long term vision – <em>“this is where I will be in 2 years’ time”. </em></p> <p>So undertaking something that was purely focused on her. Something that was not related to work. Something that actually took time away from her work, not resulting in a promotion or financial gain, left her in a bit of spin. Initially. Having her inner saboteur constantly saying – </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>How could she take time away from work for something personal?</em></li><li><em>Work is more important than personal goals.</em></li><li><em>You have no long-term vision here – what’s the point?</em></li><li><em>You have no real goal here – how will undertaking a yoga challenge benefit your career?</em></li></ul> <p>But through this challenge she has discovered that taking time out for herself has not affected her business, it has not affected her career. In fact, it has improved it all. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3090"/></figure> <p><strong>And the biggest realisation has been – </strong><strong><em>why are we always the first thing that we cross off our “to-do” list?</em></strong><strong> </strong></p> <p>It shouldn’t be this way. And by realising this, Frieda has found motivation in the fact that she does, in fact, have a clear goal which is supported by her purpose to have a healthy work-life balance. Where she can enjoy work as well as her personal time and not feel guilty about either. She is having fun, doing something new every day, excited to be challenged physically – she wants to keep on going. </p> <p>As a perfect example, she had a really tough week where she took on re-drafting a contract which required far more work than she initially realised. It sent her into a bit of a tailspin. Panic rose. And she thought to herself <em>“How can I take time out of my day to do something for myself when there is urgent work waiting?”</em></p> <p>But she forced herself to. Not something she would have done before. And by doing so, discovered – </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Her perspective of what was really important and what was really urgent had changed.</em></li><li><em>She managed to clear her head, enabling her to truly apply her mind. She woke up the next day refreshed, with a renewed outlook and tackled the contract in a way that proved better than had she not taken the time out and slogged on.</em></li><li><em>In fact, had she slogged on, she’d have missed a key structuring point which would have resulted in the contract needing further changes at a later date. By taking time out for herself, she drafted the contract in a far better and more efficient way. </em></li></ul> <p>Putting herself on her own to-do list has, so far, been the biggest achievement of all. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers4-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3091"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What’s working, what’s not?</em></strong></h2> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>What’s working?</em></h3> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>Having a routine has been a saving grace. As routine often is: </strong>By diarising time for her yoga challenge – like any other meeting – it enabled Frieda to take time out. Without the guilt. Have a breather. And come back to her work refreshed, renewed and excited to tackle difficult tasks. Having variety in her routines has also kept things interesting for her. Something Frieda needs in her life. </li><li><strong>Having a yoga instructor is important for her. </strong>Ensuring she shows up – because someone has taken time out of their day to dedicate to Frieda. It is a respect thing. Having accountability to someone is important. It has kept her on track and has kept her committed. The hardest yoga routines are the ones you have to tackle alone. The external motivation and having someone to “answer to” helps her stay on track. </li></ol> <p>But she has also realised that there is a big difference between doing something because you have to – because you have been told to – and doing something because you want to and have someone supporting you. That’s a positive motivation. And one which has kept her going. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3092"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>What’s not working?</em></h3> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>The journal reflection exercise has been a challenge in itself!</strong> Having to reflect on her challenge on a day-to-day basis has not been easy. In fact, instead of feeling motivated and excited to document her journey, it has resulted in feelings of stress and anxiety at having to write feelings down daily. And that surprised her.</li></ol> <p>When she travelled abroad, during a time when she experienced an emotional transition in her life, she was able to document her feelings and what she was experiencing. Easily. The journals have served as a great record of this transitional point in her life. And she has looked back on them over the years with a sense of accomplishment and deep meaning. </p> <p>These things shouldn’t be forced. They need to flow easily. Otherwise, they don’t hold the meaning they should. </p> <p>So she has stopped journaling this particular journey and has rather focused on the overall positive impact on her life. With no real need for words.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Her tips to stay motivated?</em></strong></h2> <p>This will be different for each person. We are all motivated differently (read Frieda’s article on motivation <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">here</a>). But for Frieda it has come down to having variety and fun. Being able to enjoy more than one thing during her “me” time. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3093"/></figure> <p>It has come down to making the most out of her time – using it wisely. For Frieda, it has involved listening to audio books whilst on her way to her yoga class: such as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Enneagram-Paths-Greater-Self-Knowledge/dp/1938314549" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge</a> by Beatrice Chestnut (a hugely beneficial developmental framework which provides deeper insight into your personality, motivation and self-limiting beliefs. It helps that Frieda is a trained Enneagram Coach!) and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/154924.No_Shortcuts_to_the_Top" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">No Shortcuts to the Top: Climbing the World’s 14 Highest Peaks</a> by Ed Viesturs and David Roberts (seemingly quite apt during this challenge).</p> <p>By doing more than one of the things she loves in order to meet her work-life balance expectations, she has been able to affirm her core values and by doing so, she is now fully aware of what her core values are – variety, fun, intuition, trust and security. Knowing this enables her to focus her attentions on them in order to improve her overall wellness and life purpose. </p> <p>Let’s face it – “<em>variety and fun are often lacking for a self-proclaimed workaholic”</em> (Frieda’s words). But by doing her yoga every day and listening to her audio books, her need for variety and fun is being met. <strong><em>And when you live in line with your values, you have a purpose. </em></strong></p> <p>And that is an extremely powerful thing!</p> <p>Something she has learnt not only through her 40 day challenge, but something she has also learnt through <a href="https://www.integrative9.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">coaching around the Enneagram</a> (something she highly recommends).</p> <p>Staying intrinsically motivated in line with meeting her core values has really kept her on track. </p> <p><em>And living with purpose is awesome!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Are there saboteurs trying to detract her from her goal?</em></strong></h2> <p>Absolutely!</p> <p>We all have our own inner Judge (someone Frieda met and got well acquainted with in her <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Naked Lawyer</a> article). </p> <p>You know that nagging negative nelly that always brings up your worst fears and deepest insecurities? That’s the culprit.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers7-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3094"/></figure> <p>And Frieda has had this Judge in her head big time during the challenge!</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>You shouldn’t take time out of your working day to do something for yourself!</em></li><li><em>You cannot put your needs before those of your clients! </em></li><li><em>What’s the point? Just be happy with who you are.</em></li><li><em>You have lost a couple of pounds already, so you may as well stop here.</em></li><li><em>You are only planning on doing this for 40 days, so it’s not such a big deal if you quit now.</em></li><li><em>This isn’t paying you, so you should focus on the things that do – like your clients.</em></li></ul> <p>And it took a lot of work to quieten that voice<em>. </em></p> <p><em>But shush it you must!</em></p> <p>Stay focused on your goals, especially when they align with your core values and give you purpose. </p> <p><em>Stay true to yourself and what you need to make your life full of meaning and purpose. </em></p> <p>It is an inside job.</p> <p>Just like Pearl Jam sang in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GNwnMGpW90" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Inside job</a> – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“I will not lose my faith</em></p><p><em>It’s an inside job today</em></p><p><em>I know this one thing well”</em></p></blockquote></figure> <p>It is important to remember that you too count. You need to be on your own to-do list. Your internal desires and needs for a fulfilling life are crucial. </p> <p>Do not lose your faith!</p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“Life comes from within your heart and desire”…</em></p></blockquote></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What has been the real “Aha” moment?</em></strong></h2> <p>Everything is actually ok!</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers8-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3095"/></figure> <p>There has actually been no backlash for taking time out to do yoga. The world hasn’t fallen apart because she took 90 minutes out of her day to focus on her inner wellbeing. </p> <p>Work is getting done, even better than before, in a shorter period of time thanks to her renewed energy and focus. There is no one throwing their toys out the cot. No one shouting at her because she has taken time out of her day to do something for herself. In fact, most of her clients have been supportive, asking about the challenge and wanting to join. </p> <p><em>Now that’s a revelation for any professional…. The world doesn’t fall apart in your absence, clients don’t have conniptions and work still gets done. I mean, who would’ve thunk it? </em></p> <p>There will always be this fear that if you change something in your life, you have to give up something else. But that simply isn’t true. A sacrifice for the betterment of your life, is not always required. Both literally and figuratively…</p> <p>And that’s hard to remember. Especially during uncertain times, like COVID, lockdowns and looting. You always seem to default back to your old ways – the Judge firmly sitting on the bench in your subconscious. </p> <p>It is impossible to foresee all the difficulties you will face. In life in general really. </p> <p>There will always be self-awareness work that you will need to do. Working on yourself, facing your uncertainties, challenges and insecurities head on.</p> <p>Remembering to always take deep breaths.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>And on turning 40?</em></strong></h2> <p>It’s really just a number. Truthfully.</p> <p>And by doing the work (on an ongoing basis), especially at 40, <em>instead of running for the hills you will learn to dance with your inner Judges as they come along.</em></p> <p>Finishing off our Zoom “fireside” chat (it is winter after all) and our respective glasses of Chardonnay, we come to one more conclusion (over a lot of laughter and toasts to our good health) – we absolutely agree with Bridget Jones!</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3QgZ5G72EM" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“Smug – well it’s about time. So maybe just a little”.</em></a></p> <p>About time for what you may ask?</p> <p>For putting ourselves first. And not feeling guilty about it. </p> <p>For embracing our 40 year old status with excitement and joy! After all, just like a fine wine, you always get better with age. Remembering of course to store your bottles of wine well and ensuring you make yourself a priority! </p> <p>So, yeah, maybe we are being a little smug about that. <em>Because it’s about time!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="http://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/feeling-demotivated-cta.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3096"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/">Finding Motivation at 40</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2021 19:09:10 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivated]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[extrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling inspired]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your groove]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[intrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lacking motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate me]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[negative motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[online challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3026</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved. […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved.</p> <p>So, the last 18 months have come as a bit of a shock. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated1-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3034"/></figure> <p>When lockdown hit and South Africa was thrown into a 6-week complete shutdown (we were only capable of leaving the house for shopping or a medical visit), my body gradually shut down too. </p> <p>Week 1 commenced by running around the house 20 times a day, a 45 minute cycle on the indoor bike whilst watching Top Gun; and an hour Tae Bo session with Billy Blanks dressed in 80’s garb. But the motivation rapidly dwindled.</p> <p>I had assumed that once the mountain re-opened, I would be back out on the Cape Town trails. Motivation fully resumed (after all – I had put on a couple of lockdown pounds). I did get back out there – sporadically. And loved it when I did. But I struggled to regain any form of consistency. </p> <p><em>What the heck was going on? This just wasn’t like me! The things that used to motivate me: staying slim; being the best; achieving the impossible – just weren’t incentivizing me anymore!</em></p> <p><strong><em>I know that I’m not alone in this demotivation journey. </em></strong></p> <p>But whether you are struggling to get out of bed in the morning; to find motivation to complete work tasks; to exercise or stick to healthy eating plans – that lack of motivation is adding an extra layer of stress to what is already an uncertain and anxiety-fueled world at present.</p> <p>So, I thought I’d write this article to share my realisations around my personal motivations over the last couple of months; and set out some new methods I’m testing to motivate myself to get back into exercise. Hopefully it will provide some food for thought with your own motivation struggles.</p> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>My worries around exploring the topic of motivation</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3035"/></figure> <p>I’m going to preface this article by saying that I was reluctant to look into my lack of motivation for fear of confirming a long-term belief I’ve held about success, drive and motivation. For years, I’ve believed that in order to be successful, you have to be driven by fear and/or pain. I’ll use myself as an example:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 1</strong></h3> <p>Back when I was a teenager, a close family friend stopped speaking to me for three years. It was a difficult time. Emotions were heightened. Feelings were not discussed. And silly things were said out of pain and guilt. One of the last things said to me before the hiatus was that I wasn’t good enough to be a lawyer or to go to Harvard. </p> <p>As a result, although subconsciously, I spent the next 15 years constantly striving; working hard; stretching myself to be the best I possibly could in my career to prove them wrong. By the time our differences were resolved, that negative motivation was firmly entrenched. It drove me up the career ladder at full speed: achieving Senior Associate after 4 years of practice; Head of Global Mergers & Acquisitions by 34; General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 2</strong></h3> <p>I grew up in the 80s/90s where the perverse notion that every woman needed to be a Size 0 or Size 00 was flaunted through every form of media. If you weren’t skeletal, then you were not attractive. The horror of being anything larger than a UK Size 10 was just not acceptable in society. You were a failure. Media in the 90’s certainly did women’s self-esteem a world of good! </p> <p>Once again, negatively motivated, I became obsessed with food and exercise. I ate like a mouse throughout university to try and control my weight – much to the horror of my poor housemate. I tried every faddy diet under the sun; from Atkins to the South Beach Diet to some weird concoction of cayenne pepper, lemon juice and maple syrup! </p> <p>As I stumbled through my 20s, my obsession with food was replaced by exercise. I trained for at least an hour every single day; if not twice a day. Running off the calories that I’d consumed. Woe betide I missed a day of exercise – the negative self-talk banshee would be there in full force. </p> <p>My most extreme was when I was a trainee solicitor living in Hong Kong. For those of you who have ever done a stint in Hong Kong, you’ll understand the concept of the “<em>Hong Kong Stone</em>”. Hong Kong is a city that never sleeps. As trainees / young associates we worked hard and we played even harder. Countless nights did we leave Jardine House at midnight; begin our walk home up the escalators to Mid-Levels and undoubtedly bump into someone we knew – which resulted in a detour to Lan Kwai Fong. For 8 months I survived on about 3 hours of sleep a night; a lot of alcohol and early morning breakfasts at the <em>Flying Pan</em>. It was certainly the most unhealthy lifestyle I’ve lived. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/hong-kong-skyline-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3063"/></figure> <p>But, the fear of the Hong Kong Stone – the fear of not being attractive – motivated me every day to be at Pure Fitness at 6am. I spent an hour sweating on the cross trainer or running machine (clocking off season after season of the OC and One Tree Hill) before heading to the office for another long stint. And it worked: my abs were rock hard and into those skinny Size 8 jeans I slipped. The negative motivation once again worked.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Can you be successful without negative motivation?</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3038"/></figure> <p>So, fast-forward to 2020 – a time where I have:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>worked through all my historical traumas</li><li>worked on my self-confidence</li><li>become a lot kinder to myself</li><li>placed less emphasis on the way I look</li><li>developed a happy and loving relationship</li><li>created and started to live the lifestyle I love and want</li></ul> <p>I realized that I am no longer fueled by fear and negativity. And there rose the fear / resistance to look into this. What if my theory that you can only be successful if driven by fear/pain was true? Where does that leave me? How could I motivate myself if I was no longer in pain?</p> <p>So, let’s take a look at what motivation is and how it can transpire in our day to day lives.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What is motivation?</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3036"/></figure> <p>Motivation is “<em>the reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way</em>” (Oxford English Dictionary). </p> <p>In other words, motivation is why we do what we do. It’s our underlying driver, our reason, our purpose for taking action and behaving the way we do. It also explains why different people are motivated by different things.</p> <p>Motivation falls into two main categories: <strong>Intrinsic motivation </strong>and<strong> extrinsic motivation</strong>, and both of those types can be expressed in a positive way (<em>reward</em>) or a negative way (<em>punishment</em>).</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Intrinsic motivation</strong> </h3> <p>Intrinsic motivation refers to behaviour that is driven by internal rewards. In other words, you do it because you gain personal joy and satisfaction from the activity rather than doing it because you are influenced by an external factor.</p> <p>An example of intrinsic motivation would be reading a book because you love escaping to a different world through literature. Whereas having to read a book in order to pass your Trusts exam would be an external influence. Granted – if you loved learning Trust law then this would constitute intrinsic motivation – but, for me – aie, aie aie! – I was glad to get those books off to the charity shop!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Extrinsic motivation</strong> </h3> <p>Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, refers to behaviour driven by an external factor. This could be in the form of an external reward (i.e. I get something from someone else as a result of completing the activity) or an external punishment (i.e. I avoid something as a result of completing the activity).</p> <p>A few examples of extrinsic motivation are as follows:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If I work hard, I’ll get a promotion / salary increase from my company (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I use my American Express card, I’ll get frequent flyer miles (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I comply with my fiduciary duties as a director, I won’t get fired or put in jail (<em>punishment</em>).</li><li>If I clean up the house, my flat mate won’t get mad and yell at me for being untidy (<em>punishment</em>).</li></ul> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Positive and negative motivation</strong></h2> <p>As you can see from the examples given above, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation can be expressed both in a positive or negative way. </p> <p>Using the desire / need to get back into exercise as an example, the diagram below highlights some possible intrinsic and extrinsic motivations which could trigger action. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Motivation-diagram-1024x1024.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3028"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Which style of motivation is better?</strong></h2> <p>Each style of motivation has the ability to move a person forward, but it is questionable whether extrinsic and negative motivation is sustainable.</p> <p>The “carrot and stick” approach – i.e. dangling rewards (such as the promise of a pay rise) or the threat of punishment (such as the fear of being fired) may increase motivation short-term, but eventually the influence of that motivation will wear off. For example, you’ll see in the corporate context, unless intrinsically motivated, staff will choose to leave unhealthy work situations even if there are prospects of a promotion or pay rise.</p> <p>And when it comes to intrinsic motivation, although negative intrinsic motivation may be an effective source of motivation, it is evident that it has detrimental consequences on an individual’s mental health: their self-confidence, self-worth and their value. </p> <p>Looking back on the two scenarios I highlighted at the beginning of this article, it’s clear that negative extrinsic motivation and negative intrinsic motivation fueled my own action, in so many aspects of my life. Especially when I was younger. It also had the effect of highlighting the fact that negative motivation and extrinsic motivation (whether positive or negative) are not sustainable forms of motivation in the long term. </p> <p>Unless our motivation is aligned with our personal values & beliefs, and there is a true internal benefit to us in performing the actions necessary – creating long-term, sustainable habits and practices and achieving long-term goals is always going to feel out of reach. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Finding some healthy and positive intrinsic motivation</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/motivation-quote-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3069"/></figure> <p>With all this research at my fingertips, I’ve decided to try and incentivize myself back into a consistent exercise routine from a stance of positive intrinsic motivation.</p> <p>As you can imagine, there are a variety of tools and techniques that can be found dotted around the internet suggesting ways in which to develop positive intrinsic motivation.</p> <p>I’d be a fraud if I were to tell you how to do it. Considering I’ve never tested it out for myself. So, instead I’ve pulled together various elements of the research I found to form the backbone of my experiment:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Set a challenge which is not too easy and not too hard</strong></strong></p> <p>The theory is that a challenge is a good incentive to move you into action. But – you don’t want the challenge to be too easy – you’ll get bored; nor too hard – you’ll get disillusioned (<em>The Goldilocks Rule – a challenge that is “Just right”</em>).</p> <p>So, with my 40<sup>th</sup> birthday looming just around the corner, I’ve decided to undertake a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August. I will finish (all going according to plan) the day before my birthday.</p> <p>This challenge for me is a stretch. But it is also something I know I am capable of as I have completed a 40-day challenge before! Granted, it was 12 years ago!</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Understand the positive internal benefits of taking on this challenge:</strong></strong></p> <p>I’ve worked through a number of questions (see worksheet attached) to really tap into why I want to get back into yoga, the benefits it will bring to me, and the saboteur tendencies that are likely to try and derail me.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Journal</strong></strong></p> <p>I’m certain that this challenge is going to be far from easy. But to keep track of my progress, I’ve committed to keep myself accountable by documenting this journey in my journal. </p> </div> </div> <p></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Will I re-find my yoga mojo? </em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3039"/></figure> <p>I honestly don’t know. I’ve never consciously motivated myself this way before. But, I’ll keep you updated on social media over the next 40 days. So, stay tuned!</p> <p>If you are in need of some motivation to kickstart a lifestyle change or reach a goal, and you’d like to join me on the “Motivate Me” challenge – by all means do so. </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Identify your 40-day goal / challenge</li><li>Determine your intrinsic motivation (download the worksheet below)</li><li>Grab yourself a journal and be ready to note down your daily progress.</li></ul> <p><em>We’re all in this together. </em></p> <p>I can honestly admit, hand-on-heart, that I don’t have the answers. But I’ll tell you one thing – I’m prepared to try something new!</p> <p>After all: <em>“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”</em> – Thomas Jefferson.</p> <p>Success motivated from a place of happiness – well, who wouldn’t want that!</p> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 23 Jan 2021 19:49:32 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[marketing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sales]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-promotion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[selling ourselves]]></category> <category><![CDATA[service industry]]></category> <category><![CDATA[services]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you. There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you.</p> <p>Let’s be honest, when we became lawyers, either we believed in fairness and justice and wanted to change the world for the better or we wanted to earn lots of money (or maybe a bit of both). But, unless our parents were in the law, we had very little understanding of what the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> really was about or what it entailed. Never did we consider that, as we climbed the corporate ladder, we would have to manage people (clients and teams alike), run a business, or actually go out and sell our services! <em><strong>Where is the law in that?</strong></em></p> <p>The reality is that once we have reached the level of Partner or (if we have decided to step out on our own) Freelancer, Consultant or Sole Practitioner, until we have our client base established, our day-to-day job becomes less about law and more about marketing and business development. We have entered the world of entrepreneurialism or solopreneurialism – and I can tell you now – that’s not a particularly comfortable place for most lawyers.</p> <p>So, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why we, as lawyers, have such an in-built resistance to selling our services and explore some ideas of how to improve our attitude towards marketing ourselves.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-energepiccom-313690-e1611435063713.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="but-we-are-lawyers-not-marketers">But we are lawyers not marketers!</h3> <p>Business development is not something which we are taught in law school or during our LPC or our early years as an Associate. In fact, for many lawyers, business development is not a skill we are taught at all. And yet, from an early stage in our careers as lawyers, the “business development” criteria is a firm fixture on our appraisal forms. And it only increases in importance the higher up the corporate ladder we climb.</p> <p>For some, business development skills come naturally. But, for most, the thought of having to sell ourselves and our services without the requisite skillset to do so, causes overwhelming bouts of anxiety and stress – more so than we would care to admit. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/cheat-sheet-9-tips-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="770" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Optin-graphic.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2418"/></a></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-introduction-to-business-development">My introduction to business development</h3> <p>My first introduction to the world of business development was through “<i>client drinks</i>”. When I was a mid-level Associate in Singapore, client entertainment was a big thing. We had some brilliant Partners who were incredible at business development – Nick Merritt, Laurie Pearson and Nicky Davies to name but a few. Business development, seemingly, came so naturally to them: they could talk to anyone at any level in the organisation. And people indeed were drawn towards them. It was actually quite mesmerising to watch.</p> <p>Now, you would think that business development and client entertainment would come pretty naturally to me. On the outside, I have a relatively extroverted personality. I am a chatterbox. I enjoy going out for drinks with friends. I’ll happily make a fool of myself to make others feel more comfortable. I’m a good listener and people generally like me (though there are a few exceptions). But, when it comes to people I don’t know, or people I have placed on a pedestal, or people who I am supposed to impress, or people I am indirectly selling to – my introvert appears, and I want to run for the hills.</p> <p>So when, one afternoon, we were reminded that we had to attend drinks with HSBC (a Key Client) that evening and all the top tier executives would be there, my heart sank. That all-too-familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach had reappeared. Ugh! I hated client drinks.</p> <p>Immediately, a whole host of doubts and negative beliefs popped into my head:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Who’s going to want to speak to me? I’m only a junior associate!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about finance. I’m going to come across as a right nit-wit!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about what HSBC is doing. I’m going to embarrass myself and be a terrible reflection on the firm!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I haven’t read the news this week! I can’t even talk about world events!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Am I dressed ok for client drinks?</li></ul> <p>To be fair, in Singapore, I could have worn anything to client drinks and it would have been acceptable, but still, all of these doubts raced through my mind and I could feel the nerves building, a dry throat forming and foggy-headedness appearing. By 2pm, I’d already created a mountain of self-made obstacles to overcome, and the drinks hadn’t even started!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="why-lawyers-fear-hate-business-development">Why lawyers fear / hate business development</h3> <p>I’d like to say that my experience towards business development was unique, but the more friends I’ve spoken to and more clients I’ve coached around this issue, the more I realise how endemic the fear and anxiety around sales is in the industry. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/[email protected]" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><strong><i>But why?</i></strong> Aside from the lack of skills training when it comes to business development, what preconceived ideas about ourselves – and about sales in general – are we holding on to that make business development so uncomfortable for us?</p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>The car salesman stereotype</strong> – How many of you, when you hear the word “sales”, automatically picture a gelled-back, slick car salesman with his slippery and schmoozy chat, pushing you into purchasing the latest shiny model? Yes, it’s a stereotype, but it is a stereotype firmly entrenched in our brains. So when, as lawyers we are sent out into the world to bring in new business, we immediately feel like we are becoming someone that nobody likes or wants to engage with. Needless to say, we resist the association <strong><i>at all costs!!</i><i> </i></strong></li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I’m an introvert. I don’t like talking to people, never mind selling to them </strong>– It’s funny how when it comes to sales we assume that being an introvert is a negative thing. Surely you have to be gregarious, outgoing and buoyant to sell services. Well, let me ask you this: as an introvert, how do you like to be sold to? Is it the loud and brash character that is going to attract you? Or actually is it someone who is more humble with a well-thought-through offering? Someone who is like you? </li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the experience – I’ve only been doing this for 2 years</strong> – There are varying versions of this theme: I don’t have the knowledge. I need to upskill. I need to train. I’ve only been doing this for [x] years. The point with experience though is that it only comes with practice. You have to start somewhere. You have to take that step into discomfort in order to practice and therefore improve. </li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the brand name</strong> – This one is more for the entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who have stepped away from Big Law and the big marketing machine that goes with it. I often hear solo / small firm lawyers stating that they can’t get work because they don’t have the brand name supporting them. But what proof exists to support that theory? There are many a successful boutique firm and sole practitioner out there who have succeeded without a big name behind them – I include myself in that group. Rather than thinking about what you are lacking, consider how your individuality and size can actually work in your favour.</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>There are other people doing this that are better than me</strong><b> – </b>I call this <i>comparisonitis. </i>Comparison is a dangerous game. We get ourselves tied up in knots when we start comparing ourselves to peers in the industry and it prevents us from moving forwards. We see people succeeding because they have skills that we don’t have. The thing is, we compare ourselves (both our successes and our failures) only against other people’s successes (their public image). We give no merit to the fact that these people may have struggled and experienced similar fears as we have along the way.</li></ol> <p>Before you’ve even begun contemplating seeking business, you have put 5 staggeringly tall hurdles in your own way. Is it any wonder that so many lawyers fear sales? It feels like one heck of a daunting mountain to climb.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/adversity.jpg" alt="daunting mountain to climb"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-lawyers-approach-business-development-with-a-healthier-mindset">So how can lawyers approach business development with a healthier mindset?</h3> <p>There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Build up your confidence:</strong> Whichever rung of the corporate ladder we are currently on, doing something new or something you haven’t practised for a while, tends to throw us into a bit of a confidence crisis. Business development is no exception. </p> <p>In order to be successful in business development, you need to start believing that you can be successful. Fundamentally, YOU are your brand. And that requires some work on your confidence. When did you last sit down and consider:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What your strengths are?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What attracts you to people?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What experience you have?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What skills you have?</li></ul> <p>I’m not just talking about in law. I’m talking about all the life experience that you can bring to the table. Business development is about so much more than the law. Remember, our experiences make us unique. No other lawyer in the world has the same life experiences as you do. How can you use these to your advantage?</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be You:</strong> Don’t mimic other people’s sales styles. Don’t try to be outgoing and funny if you have a more conservative and intellectual style. People are attracted to people who they can relate to and connect with. People who are genuine and trustworthy. It’s why the sleazy car salesman feels so objectionable. So, once you’ve built up your confidence – stand tall in those shoes – and just be who you are.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Stop thinking small:</strong> Clients may initially be attracted by a big brand name, but if the lawyer they end up working with is rude, incompetent or unresponsive (yes, they do exist in Big Law too), then a client will look elsewhere. Clients ultimately choose a law firm based on the lawyer(s), not the brand.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Have a plan of action:</strong> What are you looking to achieve from business development? Are you looking to start building your network and new relationships or are you looking to bring in new clients and build a practice? Whatever your goal, what ways are you looking to achieve that goal? Is it attending drinks events (or Zoom networking events as is the case now)? Is it identifying 10 target clients to nurture? Is it about getting your name out in the industry and using social media platforms (such as LinkedIn) to inform your audience about what you do? Is it a multi-pronged approach? Having a plan of action allows you to stay focused and avoids a haphazard, sporadic approach to business development.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be consistent:</strong> Business development takes time because building trust in relationships takes time. As you put your plan into action, you may not see immediate results. It doesn’t mean that you should give up on your plan. Stay consistent with your approach. Give the plan time to produce the results you are looking for. Keep showing up.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-10 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Nurture your network:</strong> Your network is your greatest asset. If you nurture and support your network, they will return the favour. It requires some work on your part: making an effort to reach out and stay in touch; attending events they host, supporting articles that they write. But what it does is to cement those relationships. These are people that know you and can already vouch for your capability. And, if you nurture those relationships, they’ll turn to you when they need you or be willing to refer work to you in the future.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-11 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be front of mind: </strong>Consider how you can keep yourself front of mind to potential clients after your first interaction. I’ve received calls out of the blue from potential clients based on a commodities bulletin I wrote and circulated a year previously. I’ve also had people call me because my photo on my business card triggered a memory about a conversation we had at a drinks event. Think of small and subtle ways that you can stay memorable to potential clients.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-12 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1883" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Switch the focus: </strong>Often our fears of business development arise because we are too focused on ourselves. How many of you spend your time worrying about what impression you are going to make or what people will think about you? Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s not all about you. Instead of focusing on you, switch the focus to the potential client. Think about why your services and working with you can benefit them. The reason you need to tell them about your services is so they know there is a good resource out there which can actually help them achieve their goals and ambitions. Switching the focus from selling to serving makes business development a heck of a lot more palatable.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-13 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1884" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Avoid the hard sell: </strong>There is nothing worse than coming to the end of a perfectly nice conversation with someone and they go in for the hard sell or ask why you haven’t sent any work over to them yet. All of that time you have spent relationship building dissipates in seconds. The whole conversation suddenly feels disingenuous and ends on a sour note. Business development isn’t about the hard sell – it’s about building a relationship over time. So, get to know your potential clients personally. Meet them socially. Listen to their needs. Talk about work so that you understand their business and they understand yours, but avoid the hard sell. Let the relationship do the work. When an opportunity arises in the future, it will allow the conversation (an offer to help) to flow much more naturally. </p> </div> </div> <p></p> <p class="has-text-align-center">_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p class="has-text-align-center"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-300x167.png 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-768x427.png 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-500x278.png 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-800x444.png 800w, 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<wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Dealing with disappointment</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2020 07:33:11 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a covid christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a covid christmas story]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a lawyer christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[an attorney christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas 2020]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas activities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas fun]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas rules]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid christmas rules]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dealing with disappointment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[disappointment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[festive season]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grateful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[happy holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holiday season]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the grinch]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>As stricter restrictions on movement and gathering are implemented around the globe, there is a real sense of disappointment as we head into the Festive Season. Read this short article on how to cope with the mix of emotions which are being experienced at present and find some tips to bring positivity back into the Festive Season.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/">Dealing with disappointment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3><strong>Disappointment: A feeling we hate to cause and struggle to feel.</strong></h3> <p>And 2020 has provided many a chance to experience it from both sides. </p> <ul> <li>Weddings postponed</li> <li>Holiday plans abandoned</li> <li>Sports events cancelled</li> <li>New babies unvisited</li> <li>Graduation celebrations thwarted</li> <li>And now, for many countries, a strict lockdown over Christmas all together.</li> </ul> <p>The list goes on! COVID has really thrown us through the ringer this year!</p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-480x267.jpg 480w" alt="Disappointment" width="810" height="450"></p> <p>Our struggle with 2020 disappointment is that it feels unjustified – and many people are struggling to cope with the conflict of emotions they are experiencing.</p> <p>Logically – we know that COVID is a very legitimate and real reason to cancel events. People are worried. We understand it. We acknowledge it. But, when things get cancelled, it doesn’t stop us feeling:</p> <ul> <li>angry</li> <li>rejected</li> <li>deflated</li> <li>overwhelmed</li> <li>sad</li> <li>frustrated</li> <li>annoyed</li> </ul> <p>… to name but a few. All feelings which are naturally triggered when we are faced with disappointment.</p> <p><strong><em>And, do you know what, it’s ok to feel this way.</em></strong></p> <p>Even though we understand the reasons, we are allowed to feel the effects. Money has been wasted. Children have shed tears. Images of perfect celebrations have been re-shaped. And there is a tonne of guilt (on many levels) going around as a result.</p> <h3>How to deal with disappointment</h3> <p>For those of you who are putting on a brave face, don’t let the emotions fester inside. You know it will only cause more pain in the long run. Instead: </p> <ul> <li>Process the disappointment now</li> <li>Acknowledge the feelings</li> <li>Acknowledge the conflict between the feelings</li> <li>Know that your feelings are justified</li> <li>Gain perspective by speaking to friends and family</li> <li>Talk it through with those that have been involved</li> <li>And then, accept it for what it is and move on</li> </ul> <h3><strong>Adjusting to a Festive Season in lockdown</strong></h3> <p>As many countries start to implement stricter measures on movement and gatherings over the Festive Season, there is a realisation that a traditional Christmas / Hannukah is not going to be possible this year. For many of us, it’s the second or third time we’ve adjusted holiday plans to cater for COVID risks.</p> <p>There is a very real risk that we start to feel that the festivities has been cancelled completely this year. </p> <p>It would be understandable to want to motor through the Festive Season and start a fresh in 2021. </p> <p><em><strong>But, this year, more than any other, <a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/business/practice-management-d58/lawyers-on-leave/">taking a break</a> and making the most out of the Festive Season is vital to recharge, re-set and prepare for 2021.</strong></em></p> <p>Whilst Christmas may not be the same as usual, it doesn’t mean it has to be a complete write-off. 2020 gives us a chance to mould and adapt our holiday traditions and try out something new this year. And you never know – there may actually be some new traditions created in the making. </p> <p>Whether you are alone this Holiday Season or with a smaller family gathering, take a read of the previous article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">“How the Grinch stole Christmas … or did he?”</a> for <strong>14 festive tips</strong> to help you thrive (not just survive) the 2020 Festive Season and set you up for a great start to 2021. </p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-1024x1024.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-300x300.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-150x150.jpg 150w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-768x768.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-500x500.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-800x800.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-980x980.jpg 980w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-480x480.jpg 480w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC.jpg 1080w" alt="How the Grinch stole Christmas ... or did he?" width="1024" height="1024"></p> <h3>Wishing you and your loved ones a relaxing Festive Season and a smooth entry into 2021.</h3> <p>_______________________________________</p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-480x267.jpg 480w" alt="Basic Balance" width="810" height="450"></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/">Dealing with disappointment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>How the grinch stole christmas … or did he?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 17 Dec 2020 07:00:38 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a covid christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a covid christmas story]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a lawyer christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[an attorney christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas 2020]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas activities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas fun]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas rules]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid christmas rules]]></category> <category><![CDATA[festive season]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grateful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[happy holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holiday season]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the grinch]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Ready for some 2020 Christmas fun? The Holiday Season is certainly feeling a little different this year, but let's not write it off just yet! There's a lot of fun to be had and things to be grateful for. Here are some tips and tricks to make the most of the Festive Season!</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">How the grinch stole christmas … or did he?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h6 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Co-written by Frieda Levycky, Founder of <a href="http://www.bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>, and Alicia Koch, Founder of <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a> </em></h6> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">“Holiday who-be what-ee?”</h3> <p>Exactly that – <em>who-be, what-ee</em>, is it really Christmas time?</p> <p>At the best of times, Christmas is an emotional time of year! But this Holiday Season feels particularly glum. </p> <p>The Grinch feels like he has very much taken up residence in our homes, in place of the festive “Elf on the Shelf”. Eying out our tree decorating and Menorah lighting with smug cynicism.</p> <p>Some of us even seem to be mimicking the Grinch’s holiday “cheer”: <em>“Blast this Christmas music! It’s joyful and triumphant.”</em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">The most emotional time of the year!</h3> <p>For some of us, the Holiday Season is a time of happiness and connection: family gatherings, long overdue catch ups with friends, end of year drinks, sneaky kisses under the mistletoe, Christmas pantos, the annual trip to the ice rink, shopping at the Christmas markets, all those tasty treats (mince pies, gingerbread, mugs of glühwein and a good old Terry’s Chocolate Orange), and all the smells that the festivities bring (cinnamon, nutmeg, roasted chestnuts, mmmm!).</p> <p>There is an excitement in the air; an anticipation; a playfulness.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/elf-mince-pies.jpg" alt="Elf on the Shelf"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>For others, the Holiday Season triggers a lot more trepidation than excited anticipation. The annual family feud, the confusion over choosing gifts, heightened stress-levels as the in-laws rock up and immediately comment on the dust on the mantlepiece (rather than the beauty of the 6-course meal painstakingly prepared over the last 24 hours) … you know the family. You know the drill!</p> <p>But, for once, even those that usually have a spring in their step as Santa’s pending arrival draws near, are feeling the dark cloud cloaking the 2020 Holiday Season.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Exit left Santa!</h3> <p>This week alone, I’ve heard countless stories of:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>friends cancelling large family Christmases in order to protect older family members</li><li>the loneliness of expats who are not able to get home for their annual family catch-up</li><li>the disappointment as the annual New Year ski trips are abandoned</li><li>elderly family members not being allowed out of nursing homes for safety reasons</li><li>hopes of re-connection dashed as office parties are scratched</li><li>even the Christmas carol concerts have taken a back seat this year</li></ul> <p>Excitement, joy, fun, sparkle, glitter and celebration seem to have been lost from the human vocabulary. Exit left Santa. The Grinch is taking the leading role in this year’s Christmas panto!</p> <p><strong><em>OH NO HE ISN’T! OH YES HE IS!</em></strong></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/33.jpg" alt="How the Grinch stole Christmas"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Adapting to a Christmas in lockdown</h3> <p>Ok, it’s a given, Christmas is looking and feeling a little different this year. A year of COVID confinement and restriction has resulted in fun and frivolity being replaced with feelings of boredom, anger, disappointment, loneliness and exhaustion.</p> <p>The Grinch tip-toeing merrily behind you gleefully chanting: <em>“One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri”. </em></p> <p><em>Well at least he’s happy…!</em></p> <p>And it would be understandable to want to motor through the Holiday Season and start a fresh in 2021. Where is the nitrous when you need it (Fast and Furious scenes springing to mind)?</p> <p><em><strong>But, this year, more than any other, <a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/business/practice-management-d58/lawyers-on-leave/">taking a break</a> and making the most out of the Holiday Season is vital to recharge, re-set and prepare for 2021.</strong> </em></p> <p>The reality is, COVID ain’t going anywhere (at least not any time soon – come on vaccine), so let’s use the Holiday Season wisely.</p> <p>Whilst Christmas may not be the same as usual, it doesn’t mean it has to be a complete write-off. 2020 gives us a chance to shake things up a bit. A chance to mould and adapt our Christmas traditions and try out something new this year. And you never know – there may actually be some new traditions created in the making. And that’s a good thing!</p> <p>So, for one last time, let’s say out loud 2020’s phrase of the year: <em><strong>“Let’s pivot!”</strong></em> (Eish! That phrase is getting well and truly left behind once this year is over!)</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/christmas-down-time.jpg" alt="Christmas down time"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>14 tips to help you thrive (not just survive) the pinch of the Grinch!</strong></h3> <p>We all love a good sing-a-long, or, if we don’t, we at least know how songs (and more importantly the lyrics) can affect our mood. So, with this in mind, here are <strong>14 festive song-themed tips</strong> to help you thrive (not just survive) the 2020 Holiday Season and set you up for a great start to 2021.</p> <p>And whilst you’re at it – in true festive style – why not turn it into a game and try and guess the songs and singers too!</p> <p>Bear with me, some lateral thinking and artistic licence may be required here <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/14-tips-to-help-you-thrive-not-just-survive-the-holiday-season.jpg" alt="14 tips to help you thrive (not just survive) the holiday season"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-14 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“Do you wanna build a snowman?”</em></strong></p> <p>You should never lose your childish enthusiasm or sense of wonder. Ever. Especially during the Holiday Season. And especially in 2020. Get creative, use your imagination and try your hand at <em>making gifts</em> for family and friends. Not only does this help you think outside the box but it also helps you tap into your creative side – perhaps a side of you that has been neglected during 2020’s stressful times. How about a family board game? Or love vouchers for your partner?</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-15 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“[Not] driving home for Christmas”</em></strong></p> <p>2020 will undoubtedly come with some of its own benefits. Like not having to race around this Holiday Season. Not having to attend party after party. Not having to visit each and every family member or friend. Not having that obligation (which seems harsh but is sometimes true) of <em>“being on form”</em> – being jovial, telling jokes and being unrealistically optimistic. It may be tradition but geez it’s exhausting and is usually fuelled with arguments. This year you get to plan your own festivities – on your own terms. Stay in your pyjamas if you want to. Get your kids to each organise a day of activities. Do it your way – not the way it <em>“should”</em> be (whatever that means).</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-16 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em><strong><em>“Feed the world! Let them know it’s Christmas time.”</em></strong></em></strong></p> <p>Be grateful for what you have. We may all be struggling this year, but for many, our Holiday Season struggles are a far cry from the <em>daily</em> struggles of others. There are some incredible organisations out there trying to make this Holiday Season a little bit brighter and happier for those that have so little. With restrictions imposed on volunteering this year, consider donating a small amount to soup kitchens, such as the ROKPA soup kitchen (<a href="https://www.rokpa.org/en/what-we-do/africa/south-africa/soup-kitchen.html">https://www.rokpa.org/en/what-we-do/africa/south-africa/soup-kitchen.html</a>). You can also support the amazing organisation Food Forward SA (<a href="https://foodforwardsa.org/">https://foodforwardsa.org/</a>) where with a donation of R255 you can feed one person a day for a whole year; OR pack a shoebox for Santa so he can distribute personalised essential items and treats to underprivileged children throughout South Africa and Namibia (<a href="https://santashoebox.org.za/">https://santashoebox.org.za/</a>).<br>Giving back not only humbles us but it makes us so thankful to have what we have. As modest as that may be.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-17 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em>“Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away.”</em></strong> </em></strong></em></strong></p> <p>Oooh the awkward Christmas Party with cheap drinks, bad hang-overs and cringe worthy distant memories of singing out of tune during Karaoke sing-a-longs (cue <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp0zyiJPrGk">Bridget Jones</a>)! Kissing underneath the mistletoe with your friends <em>“fix-me-up”</em> distant cousin (we have all been there in some way or another) – no thanks! At least this year, you can skip those (un)pleasantries and watch Bridget Jones for the umpteenth time instead (laugh at her totally embarrassing moments instead).</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Christmas-party-kisses.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-18 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“Voices singing, let’s be jolly”</em></strong></p> <p>Take some time to look back on the things you have actually been grateful for this year. Being grateful and happy about the small things will help you look forward to the bigger things with optimism and hope. No one is saying, <em>be jolly for the sake of being jolly</em>. But what we <em>are</em> saying is this – look back on your year realising that some of the little moments, like simply being able to sit with your kids whilst they play “tea party” or just being able to indulge in an episode of “New Girl” during your lunch break (whilst working remotely) were pretty great things. Don’t forget the small precious moments that have made your year possibly better than you initially thought. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-19 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“Everybody spread the word, we’re gonna have a celebration”</em></strong></p> <p>And whilst you are thinking about what you’re grateful for, also reflect back and think about what you’ve accomplished in 2020, even if it is small. Remember all you have overcome, even if it is only a start. Be proud of making it through, even if it is only by the skin of your teeth. Because truth be told, it is the reality for many of us. And know this – you can (and must) celebrate you!</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-20 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need.”</em></strong></p> <p>Just one thing. This year is certainly going to be a little tighter on the purse strings. As salaries have been lowered, bonuses foregone, businesses disrupted, down payments on weddings, parties and office celebrations lost, money concerns have been at the forefront of everyone’s mind. So let’s not add Christmas presents to the worry list. There’s a lot more to Christmas than giving and receiving presents and maybe this is the year to apply office giving logic to our family Christmases. Why not opt for a Secret Santa instead? Everyone coming for Christmas buys one present either for a lucky dip or for a specific person. Even the kids. They understand that this year’s different, so why not still make it fun?</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-21 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1883"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“And His shelter was a stable. And His cradle was a stall”</em></strong></p> <p>So yes, our usual Christmas traditions may be out of the window this year – what with Christingle services cancelled, children’s nativity plays postponed and travel restricted (etc. <em>ad nauseam</em>) but there are some really innovative and creative twists on usual traditions this year. For example you can <a href="https://www.therock.org/nativity/">drive through</a> real life nativity plays, join fun <a href="https://spectacularpubquizzes.com/">virtual</a> quizzes, <a href="https://www.houseandgarden.co.uk/article/online-carol-concerts-2020">online</a> carol concerts and roof top concerts. There are endless opportunities to still make this Holiday Season one to remember. Best of all, you can attend all these events in your pyjamas – which is a real plus for us! And your furry family can join along too. Bonus!</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-22 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1884"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“The boys of the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay. And the bells were ringing out for Christmas day”</em></strong></p> <p>Whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, or maybe you don’t celebrate anything specific at all, the Holiday Season is a time for rejoicing. It is a time when twinkly lights are up, where there is tinsel around trees and <a href="https://stories.starbucks.com/press/2020/savor-the-flavors-of-starbucks-holiday-food-and-beverages/">Starbucks brings out their eggnog latte</a>. It is a time to look at the world through red and green tinted glasses. Perhaps with some hope? Perhaps with a smile? Perhaps with a dash of optimism? And if none of those things gets you singing ‘<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifzaff5woBA">Rudolph the red nose Reindeer”</a>, perhaps a slice of pumpkin pie from <a href="https://sweetteachickadee.co.za/">Sweet Tea and Chikadee</a> or a bite of a fruit mince pie (a favourite) may lift the spirits. Perhaps just for a few days you can forget the scales? Indulge a little and get back on the treadmill once the festivities have stopped. If you can’t indulge now (and on your Birthday), when can you? For <em>“The bells were ringing out for Christmas Day!”</em></p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Christmas-weight.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-23 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/10-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1885"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“</em></strong><strong><em>The word is out. About the town. So lift a glass. Ahh, don’t look down”</em></strong></p> <p>The world may not be about the town and “lifting a glass” alone may seem mournful. But now is not the time to let COVID take away our gaiety! So lift your darn glass, pop your champagne (there are non-alcoholic versions) and cheers to the year that gave us perspective. Cheers to the year that has made us think about our futures. Cheers to the year that gave us time to reflect on the truly important things. It may have been tough. But it has not all been bad. So don’t look down – look up! Look forward. And rejoice in that. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-24 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/11-150x150.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2257"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn'”</em></strong></p> <p>2021 is around the corner – a brand new year. A brand new start. Rather than panicking your way into the new year with promises of 5 days a week at the gym and dropping a stone by the end of January, take the festive break to <em>really think about who you want to be a year from now</em>. What are you doing? How are you feeling? <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/">What do you want your life to look like?</a> Then think of one tiny step you can take to help you get there. Get some inspiration by listening to the latest episode of the <strong>Lawyer Life Experiment Podcast:</strong> <a href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/1516372/episodes">New Year Resolutions that work!</a></p> <p>If transition is on the cards for you for 2021 and you need some support in putting your plan into action: book yourself a Basic Balance session with <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me-individuals/">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-25 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/12-150x150.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2258"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>“<strong><em>Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”</em></strong></p> <p>We may not be able to be with our loved ones this year. And that sucks. Dinners and lunches may very well be small but also intimate. And just because you can’t be with your loved ones physically, doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate with them remotely. With Zoom, Skype and social media we can still have our family sing-a-longs, quizzes and well wishes from afar. So whilst you cannot hug, you can still blow kisses online. Don’t underestimate what that can do….</p> <p>Also, this may be the perfect time to invite over (remembering to keep gatherings small), friends that have no family to celebrate with. Make up your own “family gathering” and bring a smile to someone’s face who may have been home alone this Holiday Season. Small gestures of kindness and inclusion can change everything for someone who has been dreading loneliness on Christmas. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-26 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/13-150x150.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2259"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“You Make It Feel Like Christmas”</em></strong></p> <p>Just like the song goes: <strong><em>“I want to thank the storm that brought the snow. </em><em>Thanks to the string of lights that make it glow. </em><em>But I wanna thank you, baby. </em><em>You make it feel like Christmas.”</em></strong></p> <p>Remember to take some time out for your loved one. Take time out for your partner. As we head into the New Year, it is all too easy to simply take our partners for granted. 2020 has certainly tested relationships. It has sadly broken some couples up, but it has also made others stronger. If you (hopefully) fall into the latter category, take some time to simply show your gratitude and appreciation for the person you have by your side. Nothing fancy, a simple “I love you and appreciate you” will do. But do it!</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-27 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/14-150x150.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2260"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>“Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock</em></strong>”</p> <p>And when all else fails, something we like to do, is turn up the tunes, pour some glühwein and rock and sing the night away. You know the saying – “<em>Dance like no one is watching and sing like no one is listening”</em>. And sometimes a good rock-a-thon shakes away the cobwebs, gets the adrenalin going and before you know it, you are lying on the floor panting away and laughing out loud! Go for it!</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Christmas-fun.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>“I’m all toasty inside.”</strong><strong> – well, almost!</strong></h3> <p>With a cup of hot chocolate and a marshmallow or two, it may be feeling a lot like Christmas to you…</p> <p>So, it may not be the Holiday Season that we imagined, but with a dash of perspective and a sprinkle of creativity, we can certainly have a Holiday Season that we will enjoy … <em>we can curtail our inner Grinch and carry on with the show.</em></p> <p>As the Grinch regales:</p> <p><strong><em>“It came without ribbons. It came without tags.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>It came without packages, boxes or bags.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before:</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>“Maybe Christmas” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store”.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>“Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.”</em></strong></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Happy-Holidays.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-28 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the Co-author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: [email protected] </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">How the grinch stole christmas … or did he?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The best laid plans of mice and lawyers!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 02 Dec 2020 15:30:09 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life after Law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[flexible working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[millennial legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[office dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[transition]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>For some of us, practising law is a life long passion. We love the adrenaline, the intellectual challenge, the structure and identity the Law provides. But for others - there is a realisation that the Law is not for us. What then? What does life look like after law? Let's find out.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/">The best laid plans of mice and lawyers!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="written-by-alicia-koch-founder-of-the-legal-belletrist"><em>Written by Alicia Koch, Founder of <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a> </em></h6> <p>When I studied law I imagined that I would do great things – be a defender of justice. Of sorts. I had planned on building a name for myself, having an Ally McBeal kind of reputation – the “benchmark” when I was still studying law.</p> <p>But sometimes the <a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-men-often-go-awry#:~:text=No%20matter%20how%20carefully%20a,Gang%20aft%20a%2Dgley.%E2%80%9D"><em>best laid plans of mice and men often go awry</em></a>. And I have started to understand that it <em>is</em> actually <em>ok</em> – the going awry bit.</p> <p><em><strong>It is ok to change your course, to change your focus, to change your career. To simply change.</strong></em></p> <p>As my friend, Adaptive Attorney, CEO & Founder of <a href="http://www.impassion.co.za/">Impassion-Transcend Yourself</a>, Jennifer Amy Stoler would say – <em>“You are not a tree, you can move”. </em>And that really puts things into perspective. Having roots can be a very powerful thing. Especially when you think about your home and your family. But roots can also keep you “stuck” in a place you do not fully want to be in. Preventing your evolvement into something new.</p> <p>Suffocating you, without you fully realising that you have stopped breathing…. </p> <p>So stop. Take a deep breath. And let’s dive in – the water is fine (I promise).</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="diving-in">Diving in!</h3> <p>Like many people who have studied law, I thought – this was it. I would be in a law firm all my life. I would pay my dues, work the long hours and deal with the back stabbing and corporate politics (which I despised). I convinced myself that the money I would earn would be enough. Enough to sacrifice everything else – like my happiness. And for a while it worked. I believed I was <em>“happy”.</em> I had the flashy car, earned a decent six figure salary and was able to buy the things that made up for the hollowness I felt deep inside. But after more than a decade of practising, I slowly began to realise that money was not enough (not by a long shot). And the soft whisper of <strong><em>“I don’t want to do this anymore”</em></strong> started ringing louder and louder in my ears.</p> <p>Until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/give-up.jpg" alt="I give up"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>But what would I do? My specialty was the law. In drafting contracts, in advising, in giving opinions and in winning arguments. I didn’t know anything else. I didn’t know how to <em>really</em> change (like fundamentally change). Not that I hadn’t tried over the years….</p> <p>I mean, I had moved around quite a bit in my career (in search of <em>“my place”</em> in the world) – from law firms, to my own legal consulting practice, going into corporate to be in house-counsel trying renewable energy and insurance law on for size. But nothing quite fit. At least not comfortably.</p> <p>Lana Del Rey’s song <em>“Blue Jeans”</em> comes to mind – <em>“You fit me better than my favourite sweater”</em>. But I simply was not feeling it – <em>the legal sweater kind of made me itch</em>.</p> <p>And I realised (after having a very honest and frank discussion with myself in the mirror) that it wasn’t <em>them</em>, it was <em>me</em>. And a break up was imminent.</p> <p>You see, it wasn’t the law I disliked. I actually appreciate the mechanics of the law and have the utmost respect for my colleagues who practise with fervor day in and day out. It takes guts, it takes grit, it takes dedication and it takes sacrifice. To practise law requires an unwavering passion – because being a lawyer is a true calling. The practice of law is a vocation to be respected. And I honestly do. I am just not sure I have the right amount of grit to <em>grin and bear it</em>.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="but-what-is-life-without-the-law">But what is life without the law?</h3> <p>Acknowledging that you want to take a path away from the law and actually <em>stepping on to a path</em> are two very different things. </p> <p><em><strong>What path should you take? What path can you take? What path do you want to take?</strong></em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Which-way.jpg" alt="Which direction should i take?"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>And therein lies the problem – because I do not think any of us (that have studied law) have really been equipped with the right tools to understand that there is more “out there” than just working in a law firm. That <em>there is more to us than <u>just </u>being a lawyer</em> (even though being a lawyer <em>is </em>enough, if that is what you want).</p> <p>In fact, in various discussions regarding the future of law, many have said (myself included) that lawyers need to do more than <em>“just” expense legal advice</em>. Lawyers need to be in the thick of it, getting their hands well and truly dirty. Lawyers need to focus on the business end of doing business in order to better advise their clients – who now expect their lawyers to be <em>“more” than just lawyers </em>(whatever that means).</p> <p>And in this same vein of <em>“being more”, </em>lawyers like myself, are coming to their own conclusions that they <em><u>can</u> be. More</em>.</p> <p>They just need to figure out what they want that <em>“more”</em> to look like.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="sisters-doing-it-for-themselves">Sisters doing it for themselves!</h3> <p><em>Frieda, Jennifer and I walk into a bar</em>, all with the same vision of wanting to change the legal profession. In some small, <em>but significant way</em>.</p> <p>While we are all in the general vicinity of law, the three of us have found our own little niches within the legal space that are both new and exciting. And most importantly, <em>right for us</em>. We have all found a way to utilise our individual legal backgrounds and skills gained over the years to <em>“be more than <u>just</u> lawyers”</em> –</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-29 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="a-content-management-company-the-legal-belletrist-by-alicia-koch">A content management company – <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a> by Alicia Koch</h3> <h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-to-remove-the-stigma-that-all-lawyers-are-uptight-and-only-speak-in-legalese-we-are-people-with-a-sense-of-humour-and-a-sense-of-irony-too"><strong><em>“I want to remove the stigma that all lawyers are uptight and only speak in legalese. We are people, with a sense of humour and a sense of irony, too”. </em></strong></h6> </div> </div> <p>I am an admitted attorney with over a decade of post qualification experience (PQE). I started <em>The Legal Belletrist</em> <em>(TLB) </em>during lockdown of one of the most difficult years in recent history. It initially came out of necessity (as I was out of work and did not really have any idea what my next step ought to be) but in truth, starting TLB resulted in the discovery of my “<a href="https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/heartsong#:~:text=Noun,identity%2C%20and%20reason%20for%20existence.">heartsong</a>”. I mean, I had always loved writing and had been writing legal articles for <a href="https://www.golegal.co.za/author/alicia-koch/">GoLegal</a>, for a number of years. But it had never occurred to me that I could actually make a living from writing full time. I mean, e<em>arning a living from doing something you absolutely loved</em> was a completely foreign concept to me. Until I did.</p> <p>After panicking about how I was going to find a job during a global recession in an industry inundated with brilliant legal minds, I bit the bullet, changed my title on LinkedIn from Legal Counsel to Legal Writer and Researcher (a big moment for me), built my own website using <a href="https://www.wix.com/">Wix</a> and designed a logo using <a href="https://www.canva.com/q/pro/?v=2&utm_source=google_sem&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=REV_ZA_EN_CanvaPro_Branded_Tier1_Core_EM&utm_term=REV_ZA_EN_CanvaPro_Branded_Tier1_Canva_EM&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=CjwKCAiA5IL-BRAzEiwA0lcWYu-mSCcRlYAoNO-8sAjURl0cl7xIYYYGSkjbNuGggi6GSQHL0PPaYhoCT_0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds">Canva</a> (all free platforms that are easily accessible). But my vision was absolutely clear. It still is. I knew exactly what I wanted my future to look like. And I built it – from scratch. Without knowing <em>for sure</em> it would work, without much of a plan. But I started. And within a few days of doing so, had secured my first regular client and have been happily writing ever since. And earning a living! I can’t believe it – <em>I sometimes pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming</em>….</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>My determination to succeed comes down to this – is the juice worth the squeeze? Because the truth is – you can do whatever you want, if you put your mind to it. If it is worth it and truly meaningful to you, no amount of difficulty will stop you. You just need to start.</em></li></ul> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-30 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Me-1024x1024.jpg" alt="Frieda Levycky - Braving Boundaries"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="life-coaching-for-legal-professionals-braving-boundaries-by-frieda-levycky">Life coaching for legal professionals – Braving Boundaries by Frieda Levycky</h3> <h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-to-provide-a-safe-place-for-lawyers-to-discuss-their-struggles-both-professional-and-personal-without-the-fear-of-judgment-or-repercussions-so-that-they-can-start-to-build-happier-healthier-and-more-fulfilling-lives"><strong><em>“I want to provide a safe place for lawyers to discuss their struggles (both professional and personal) without the fear of judgment or repercussions, so that they can start to build happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.”</em></strong></h6> </div> </div> <p>Frieda is an admitted (and practising) English solicitor with over 15 years’ of PQE. She has navigated her way through the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> from trainee to in-house counsel to partner (in a “Big Law” law firm) and now life coach. She loves the practice of law and has thrived in her international M&A practice. But it was the structure and hierarchy of law firms that made her realise that they are sorely short of the all-important “soft skills”. The skills that most people take for granted, but desperately require, in order to not only survive each day but also to thrive in their careers (and personal lives).</p> <p>Law firms are unfortunately notorious for paying lip-service to mental health issues, but doing little to encourage good mental health practices amongst their staff. This is an area of the legal profession that Frieda wants to change both at the corporate and individual level. Being a solicitor herself, she is fully aware of the range of situations in which a lawyer’s health and well-being is challenged. Through her <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> practice, she provides a safe space for lawyers to voice their personal and professional struggles and supports them in making the changes they desire to create happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives (both professionally and personally). She also seeks to help law firms and corporates tackle poor practices contributing to poor mental health and well-being issues through group coaching and workshops.</p> <p>For a lot of her clients, it is the <em>need for a change</em> that drives them to seek her guidance – because they simply do not have the first clue about how to make a meaningful change themselves. Again, they do not possess the tools they require to recognise <em><u>what else</u> they are good at</em> in order to create change in their lives. And this is where Frieda steps in – she helps you discover the skills and capabilities that you <em>already possess</em> to make the fundamental change you desire.</p> <p>To this end, Frieda is on a mission to humanise the law – to bring it into the modern world – and rid it of institutionalised and archaic practices that no longer serve the industry.</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Frieda’s determination to succeed comes down to finding courage in one’s self to make the change. And we all have it in us. </em></li></ul> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-32 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-31 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:100%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Jennifer-Amy-Stoler-1024x1024.jpg" alt="Jennifer Amy Stoler"/></figure> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="an-alternative-legal-practice-impassion-transcend-yourself-by-jennifer-amy-stoler">An alternative legal practice – Impassion – Transcend Yourself by Jennifer Amy Stoler</h3> <h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-to-empower-and-educate-my-clients-so-that-they-can-envision-and-achieve-their-own-goals-the-power-is-not-only-in-the-hands-of-the-lawyers-but-in-the-hands-of-the-clients-as-well"><strong><em>“I want to empower and educate my clients so that they can envision and achieve their own goals – the power is not only in the hands of the lawyers but in the hands of the clients as well…”</em></strong></h6> </div> </div> <p>Jennifer’s life was full of law – she had surrounded herself in and with it. She always understood where she wanted to be, but she knew it would take small steps to get there. During her (decade long) legal career, with the assistance of her erstwhile mentor, she ran a thriving family practice which, from the get-go, she had decided would be run differently to other family law practices. Not everyone agreed with her methods – but she powered on, always setting out to develop a trust relationship with her clients ensuring that she could <em>engage the law in a way that would serve her clients in the best way possible</em>. <strong><em>For them</em></strong><em>.</em> She took on a very active role in setting up her successful practice by speaking at events and seminars, by creating a podcast called the <strong><em>“Lawyer and the Layman<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></em>”</strong>, by doing radio and TV interviews and by presenting workshops to educate and empower people with legal information. </p> <p>This took immense sacrifice on Jennifer’s part – creating the content for the workshops and the seminars, ultimately resulted in her complete burn out. She suddenly recognised that she was missing out on some fundamentally important aspects of her life – like <em>simply living</em>.</p> <p>But, through this burn out, she came to understand that all the time she was spending creating content for the workshops, seminars and podcasts, fueled her soul and helped her discover what she wanted to focus on. She sought to build a practice where she could connect with people and impact the legal space in a new way – in her own, unique way. Her aim was to build a practice surrounded by trust, where she was <em>seen as a human being before being seen as just a lawyer</em>.</p> <p>Jennifer started to think outside the box and discovered that her power was not only found in the law, <em>her power lay in the education and empowerment of her clients</em>. Her practice is designed to encourage trust, both in the process but also in the legal system (a term she has defined as “trustice”) through the development of small “self- help”, practical and actionable steps to ease her clients through their legal crisis (a term she refers to as “legal easement”). Through the use of <em>trustice</em> and <em>legal easement</em>, Jennifer assists her clients to attain the justice that had previously eluded them.</p> <p>Essentially, Jennifer’s successful alternative legal practice comes down to four important pillars – empowerment, education, trust in the legal system and practical actionable solutions.</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Jennifer’s determination to succeed came from trusting herself and her vision and just taking the leap. When taking this leap, she didn’t know how she was going to fly, but she built her wings on the way down, and they are purely liberating.</em></li></ul> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-what-they-have">I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE!</h3> <p>If you are looking for a change from the law, but are struggling with where to start, Frieda, Jennifer and I have come up with the following “pearls of wisdom”:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/new-career.jpg" alt="New career chapter one"/></figure> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-33 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" width="150" height="150"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Get to know yourself</strong> – what is your vision, what do you want, what do you want your future to look like, what are your passions, what are your beliefs, what is your purpose, what gets you out of bed? Get clear on who you are. It’s the most important step. If you need some support in discovering your skills and capabilities, seek the help of a coach, like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> to help you develop a plan to get you to your end goal.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-34 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Research</strong> – Get on to the internet, speak to recruiters, talk to law professors, talk to family friends – find out about what other careers lawyers have switched into. There are plenty of us out there. I know of journalists, geologists, CEOs, entrepreneurs, doctors – all who have been lawyers too!</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-35 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail is-style-default"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Educate yourself (humbly becoming a student again)</strong></strong> – Once you know what you want to do, work out if you’ve got the skills to do it. If not, it’s time to go back to school (well, figuratively) – do workshops, webinars, whatever it takes to get you to your end goal.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-36 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>If time is on your side, use it </strong>– Sometimes we are thrown into situations where we have to find new jobs and careers merely to pay the bills. When it comes to a change in career though (and you have the job security), use the time wisely. Don’t jump until you are sure you like where you will be landing.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-37 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Do not entertain doubt – </strong>acknowledge that imposter syndrome is something which you are highly likely to experience – and is very real! Shake the monster from your head, look yourself dead in the eye (in the mirror of course) and repeat “<em>You have got this”</em> until you believe it.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/impostor-syndrome.jpg" alt="impostor syndrome"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-38 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>If you are going solo, acknowledge that things are going to feel pretty uncomfortable for a while – </strong>Be prepared for <em>“</em><em>comparisonitis</em><em>”</em> (constantly comparing yourself to other businesses in the same area), overwhelm, self-doubt and the crazy notion of <em>“What was I thinking!”</em> – Don’t worry! This is all perfectly normal. You’ve merely stepped out of a well-oiled corporate machine and are learning to build a new (and improved) one from scratch. Be patient. Freak out with your support network (I know I have). And remember why you decided to make the jump of faith in the first place.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-39 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="150" height="150" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Understand that even the <em>best laid plans of mice and men go awry</em></strong> – even with the most well thought out plan of action, things don’t always go according to plan. But having a plan fail, does not mean all is lost – <em>“it is never rejection, it is re-direction”. </em>Get up, dust yourself off and try again.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-40 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1883"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>How you feel today will influence how you feel tomorrow</strong> – so change the thought and the feeling will follow.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-41 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-thumbnail"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9-150x150.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1884"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Get up and show up</strong> – Every time<strong>. </strong>Make your bed, have a cup of coffee (or tea) and take a deep breath of the fresh morning air. Sometimes a simple change in perspective can help you see clearly.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/coffee.jpg" alt="coffee"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-juice-will-be-worth-the-squeeze">The juice will be worth the squeeze!</h3> <p>Remember change and transition is very difficult. For anyone and everyone. But if the regular legal route is not your thing, <em>you can become something else</em>. In fact, <em>you should become something else</em>. And there are so many other options out there. We have given you only three examples of alternate legal routes that <em>three female legal professionals</em> have taken. During 2020 of all years! But there are many more routes. Many more possibilities which are (honestly) endless. And better years to make a change….</p> <p>There is no limit to what you can do – <em>think outside the box.</em></p> <p>Change is good, even if it is hard – <em>the juice will be worth the squeeze!</em></p> <p>And if you need some more encouragement –</p> <p><strong><em>”If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living”</em> – Gail Sheehy</strong></p> <p><strong><em>“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance”</em> – Alan Watts</strong></p> <p>So dance, dance and dance. And if you don’t know the steps, seek a partner who can teach them to you….</p> <p><strong><em>Cha-cha-cha</em></strong><strong> my friends, <em>cha-cha-cha</em></strong>!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-480x267.jpg 480w" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change.jpg" alt="time for a career change?"><br></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-42 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: [email protected] </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/">The best laid plans of mice and lawyers!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Mind the Gap! How to attract and retain Millennial legal talent</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 22 Oct 2020 15:42:46 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Flexible working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Young lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[flexible working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[millennial legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[millennials]]></category> <category><![CDATA[office dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/10-tips-for-lawyers-who-want-to-improve-their-mental-health-copy-2/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Attracting and retaining young Millennial legal talent today is not easy. They are a new breed of lawyers operating on a different set of priorities and values. This brings a welcome and healthy change to the legal world, but certainly leaves the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers scratching their heads in confusion and frustration when trying to grow their businesses. So how can the legal sector better adapt in order to not only attract but also retain this valuable, young talent pool of lawyers? </p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent/">Mind the Gap! How to attract and retain Millennial legal talent</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="co-written-by-frieda-levycky-founder-of-braving-boundaries-and-alicia-koch-founder-of-the-legal-belletrist"><em>Co-written by Frieda Levycky, Founder of <a href="http://www.bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>, and Alicia Koch, Founder of <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a> </em></h6> <p>Say what you will about <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a30644196/what-is-millennial-generation-age-range/">Millennials</a>, they bring a refreshing and much needed change to the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a>. Technologically savvy – they are efficient, innovative and capable of re-shaping the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-legal-sector-has-a-very-real-mental-health-problem/">legal sector</a> into a much more flexible and streamlined animal. But they are also emotionally and mentally aware and believe in self-preservation. Their personal needs are considered, if not before, at least alongside those of the business. Something quite foreign for the <a href="https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2008/06/25/baby-boomers-the-gloomiest-generation/">Baby Boomer</a> and <a href="https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/these-are-generation-x-characteristics-in-the-office-and-their-new-label">Gen X</a> lawyers whose personal lives have always been <em>secondary to their careers</em>. One could say that Millennial lawyers are a “new breed” altogether.</p> <p>It is no surprise that the older generation of lawyers are struggling to get to grips with this new breed of lawyer, often finding themselves scratching their heads in both confusion and frustration. A group of young, self-aware, confident, capable and innovative individuals whose values and work ethic are very different to that of their elders. Gone are the days of lawyers entering a law firm “for life” or sacrificing their personal lives. Millennials are a generation who graduated during the Global Financial Crisis and have watched their parents and seniors struggle with stress, workaholism, divorce, drinking and substance abuse. As a result, they are more frugal, less money driven, and more focused on a career that provides for a proper work-life <em>blend</em> (not just a balance).</p> <p><em><strong>So how can the legal sector better adapt in order to not only attract but also retain this valuable, young talent pool?</strong></em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/41.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-millennial-lawyer-psyche">The millennial lawyer psyche</h3> <p>Millennials are one of the largest and most important generations of <em>our</em> time. They account for about a quarter of the world’s population at around 1.8 billion people and, although they are still young, <em>how</em> they conduct business and <em>how</em> they view a company is crucial.</p> <p>According to the <a href="https://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/mind-the-gap">ABA Journal</a>, incorporating this divisive yet influential generation into the business is <em>crucial</em>. So the Baby Boomer and Gen X colleagues will need to learn how to <em>successfully</em> integrate their Millennial counterparts into the businesses. Quickly. And this will be particularly important for law firms, where the power of Millennial lawyers is huge—by virtue of sheer numbers alone.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/i-quit.jpg" alt="I quit!"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>But Millennials, according to <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/sarahlandrum/2017/11/10/millennials-arent-afraid-to-change-jobs-and-heres-why/#1ff2c4d19a50">Forbes</a>, are not afraid to job-hop. They are not satisfied with being stuck in a “dead-end job” and as a result will leave a company should it not be <em>the right fit</em>. Whilst this may seem ‘flaky” to the older generations, Millennials are more likely to earn a higher wage, develop their career on a faster track and find a better fit in work culture by changing jobs more frequently.</p> <p>But in a sector of the economy where annual turnover is already extremely high, legal recruiters are seeing an uptick in young associates changing jobs at a disconcerting pace. Millennial lawyers are leaving a job, not just when they are unhappy, but when they are not happy <strong><em>enough</em></strong>. And that is an important consideration as it requires “more” from the respective employers.</p> <p>Law firms need to look at <em>what</em> will motivate young Millennial lawyers to stay in their firms (or corporates), long term. Although this may take some effort, NOT trying to retain these young lawyers will result in additional training and additional costs. Neither of which comes cheap.</p> <p>According to a <a href="https://www.acc.com/sites/default/files/2019-06/ACC_Benchmark_062019.pdf">study</a> by the Association of Corporate Counsel, law firm turnover costs the legal industry nearly US$1 billion annually as law firms spend time and money on-boarding associates (from recruiting to training) and must thereafter reinvest when <strong><em>anothe</em>r</strong> associate needs to be hired to replace one that has left. A continuous and expensive cycle.</p> <p>And this is where it gets interesting … because for a law firm to remain relevant and in order to solidify their future in an ever-changing and unpredictable world, firm leadership must focus on <strong><em>what motivates and inspires Millennial lawyers</em></strong> in order to not only ensure continuing business but also to save millions and millions of firm capital.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-millennial-lawyer-mindset-explained">The Millennial lawyer mindset explained</h3> <p>JP Box, a Millennial and writer of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Millennial-Lawyer-Motivate-Retain-Associates/dp/B079R8FYY2">“The Millennial Lawyer: How Your Firm Can Motivate and Retain Young Associates,”</a> while aiming to help frame the generational divide that leads to misunderstandings between associates and partners, also illuminates the Millennial mindset in order to help law firms understand <strong><em>how to connect with, motivate and retain</em> </strong>the very best young (Millennial) lawyers:</p> <p><em>“Millennials, Gen Xers and Boomers share many common values, but differ in how they prioritize, express and act upon those values.</em></p> <p><em>Let me provide an example. Millennials overwhelmingly believe in doing well by doing good – that is, working hard to make the world a more beautiful place through their chosen professions. Some Gen Xers and Boomers chose careers to fulfil this value, while many others used their careers as a springboard to engage in social-minded activities outside of work (for example, by serving on non-profit boards and donating to worthy charities). In contrast to those Gen Xers and Boomers who are comfortable finding outlets outside of work to give back to their communities, millennials believe that work should be the vehicle through which they make the world a better place.</em></p> <p><em>Importantly, millennials are not comfortable compartmentalizing their lives between work, family, friends, charity and play. While “<strong>work-life balance” became a rallying cry of Gen Xers in the 1990s, millennials opt for “work-life blend,</strong>” in which they wish to achieve personal, professional and charitable goals on a continuous spectrum of life experiences. Millennials chafe against the notion of balancing work’s ambitions against life’s desires because, to this generation, <strong>they are part of the same continuum</strong>.</em></p> <p><em>By recognizing this critical distinction, law firm partners and recruiters can begin to understand how to motivate the youngest generation of lawyers. Hint: it’s not just by the promise of a billable hour bonus at the end of the year. Rather, by focusing on the noble practice of law (that is, doing well by doing good), partners can unlock the talents, passion and work ethic of millennial lawyers”.</em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/44.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="ok-so-what-will-attract-young-lawyers-to-a-law-firm">Ok, so what <em>will</em> attract young lawyers to a law firm?</h3> <p>Essentially it really boils down to bringing back humanity, collaboration and involvement into the legal working environment. <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-work-from-home-saga/">Flexibility</a> is already a given. But bringing “heart” back into the work space seems to be the overarching factor. It amounts to a proper <em>work-life blend</em> (not just a balance) – a little like having your cake and eating it too. And what is <em>really</em> wrong with that?</p> <p><em><strong>I like eating my cake!</strong></em></p> <p>So, here are some key strategies we believe will help attract (and retain) young lawyers:</p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-43 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Collaboration & involvement</strong> – Make an effort to ensure that Millennials feel like they are an integral part of the team from the get-go. That they have a voice, that they are making a difference. It’s about giving them visibility of the bigger picture so that they can see why the hard work is benefiting their client and the world at large.</p> <p>A fun idea is to perhaps create a physical space that will enhance a collaborative and engaging work environment, for example some firms, like Morrison & Foerster, are offering <a href="https://www.attorneyatwork.com/what-motivates-millennials-retaining-young-lawyers/">“lounge-braries”</a> — a hybrid lounge and library where lawyers and staff can work and socialize together.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-44 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Bring them into the business side of things early</strong> <strong>on</strong> – Millennials are a generation of influencers – you’ve seen them on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and Tik-Tok – they have followings into the thousands! The thing is, the clients of today (and of the future) are also influencers and therefore use the same communication platforms. They talk a different language to the old guard, so law firms and corporates need to start talking the same language by utilising the valuable tools at hand – the Millennial lawyer. This links to the collaboration and involvement point that we spoke about above. But this benefits the firm as well as the Millennial lawyer.</p> </div> </div> <p> </p> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/42.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-45 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Provide mentoring and support </strong>– This is absolutely key.</p> <p>We can all learn from each other, and the millennial generation knows that. They may be “<a href="https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/technoid#:~:text=technoid%20(comparative%20more%20technoid%2C%20superlative,%2Dsounding%3B%20resembling%20techno%20music.">technoids</a>” and able to operate every communication channel under the sun, but they lack the legal experience that is only gained by working in the legal industry for a number of years. They still need to learn the ropes. The Baby Boomers and Gen Xers still have a lot of valuable lessons to be conveyed to the younger generations about law but also about office politics (which, as we know, can be a jungle).</p> <p>Remember it was the Gen Xers who started the move towards a work-life balance. So the Millennials should take a page from the Gen Xer’s “hard learnt lessons” book. Where at all possible, there should be access to a mentor and/or coach which supports the young lawyers in being made to feel like an integral part of the team, early in their careers and from Day 1. Group coaching and access to work shops is also a valuable resource as it promotes a meaningful career success path that is aligned with the Millennial lawyers’ values and strengths.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-46 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Training </strong>– Law is a business and not a purely advisory role anymore. In order to achieve this ‘all in one’ package there needs to be skills training on negotiation, management and business development and this needs to begin at the junior level, not left to when the lawyer reaches seniority (<em><strong>#toolittletoolate</strong></em>). Never mind something to be “expected” anymore, juniors and mid-level associates are going to <em><strong>need to/have to</strong> </em>learn how to take on business development earlier – it’s where the new pool of clients are – and they are the ones who speak the same language. It may be a pertinent (scratch that, “good”) idea to give these young lawyers the tools they require early on and support them as they grow.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-47 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Regular and practical feedback so that they can grow and “bounce back” if they are</strong> <strong>struggling</strong> – Described by <a href="https://nation.time.com/2013/05/09/millennials-the-next-greatest-generation/">Time</a> as narcissistic, lazy, “coddled” and even a bit delusional, Millennials are constantly seen as hard-work and demanding of attention. But regular (not just annual) feedback helps. And Millennials (and other future generations) will want this regular and <em>practical </em>feedback in order to grow and improve. And this is the best way to help them to do so. Providing clear guidance on <em>how</em> to improve is key. Just because regular feedback was not provided to older generations to enable improvement, does not mean it is the correct course of action to take. After all, how else do you (really) learn?</p> </div> </div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/43.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-48 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Checking-in </strong>– Whilst linked to mentoring, Millennials need to <em>know</em> that their difficulties and struggles in the workplace are being taken seriously and that their overall well-being is a priority. People are more likely to stay (and be loyal to) and <strong><em>want</em> </strong>to work in an environment which cares about them. And shows it.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-49 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Flexible and agile working arrangements </strong>– Tech works. It is that simple. And 2020 has proven it. Tech provides for more work-life blend. Not being in the office doesn’t mean that you are not working – it doesn’t mean you are lazy. With regular communication and check-ins, this model can keep the team feeling like a unit without the need to be physically present <em>all</em> the time. It is also more efficient. As simple as that. Remember, the aim is not to <em>erase</em> the physical model, after all we recognise that there is benefit that comes from social interaction in order to avoid professional stagnation. But it is undeniable that tech and flexibility in the workplace creates a much better work-life blend.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-50 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Educate around career options </strong>– We know Millennials (and generations to come) will job hop. But this means that they may become clients in the future or that they may operate in roles that can support law firms in other ways. And this can only be beneficial, if advantage is taken of it. What do we mean? Well, Millennials are (generally) loyal to the people that they like and have treated them well. It may not be a case of staying in the same firm long term, but they will stay in touch with a firm that they had a positive experience at. Even Gen Xers know that people can come back and our paths cross later down the line – so being supportive and understanding that variety in a career is a necessity (and a long-term game), will be beneficial. Especially in the long run. And especially when paths cross again. You know the old adage – <em><strong>“Don’t burn your bridges”.</strong></em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-51 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9-1024x1024.png" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Address mental health issues head on </strong>– We have covered issues around mental health for a number of weeks now. And by now, we are all familiar with the alarmingly high incidence of depression, substance abuse and suicide amongst lawyers. Millennial lawyers want to know that their firms/companies are not sticking their heads in the sand when it comes to mental health problems and that they have <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/law-firms-8-ways-to-improve-your-staff-mental-health/">practices and programmes</a> in place to support and address these issues openly and supportively. And not just in 2020. But for years to come.</p> </div> </div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/MG_4552-1024x683.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="let-them-eat-cake"><strong>“</strong><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let_them_eat_cake"><strong>Let them eat cake</strong></a><strong>”</strong></h3> <p>Whilst this quote made Marie Antoinette very unpopular amongst her French citizens, having your cake and eating is what has made Millennials a generation to be reckoned with. </p> <p>And if one were to ask this Gen Xer what would have kept her in a law firm, I would have been very happy with the simple but over-used – I want a good “work-life<em> balance</em>”…. Kind of like asking for a slice of bread when cake is being offered on a golden platter. But with Millennials driving the way that firms operate and how they treat their staff in the workplace, it very much sounds like cake will be on the menu for a long time to come.</p> <p>And one might say –”<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4iEdMMjqdA">Please, Sir I want some more</a>”!</p> <p>#worklifeblend</p> <p>#thanksmillennials</p> <p>#haveyourcakeandeatittoo</p> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1-300x167.png 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1-768x427.png 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1-500x278.png 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1-800x444.png 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1-480x267.png 480w" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Well-being-workshops-1.jpg" alt="Well-being Workshops"><br></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <p>_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-52 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:66.66%"> <p>About the Co-author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: [email protected] </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent/">Mind the Gap! How to attract and retain Millennial legal talent</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/mind-the-gap-how-to-attract-and-retain-millennial-legal-talent/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>