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		<title>Finding Motivation at 40</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2021 09:41:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Staying motivated is hard - unless the task you are looking to achieve has a greater, positive purpose. Here's what keeps me motivated.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/">Finding Motivation at 40</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5>



<p></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It’s an inside job today!</em></strong></h2>



<p>I have been thinking a lot about the term “High-Fliers” recently. And what it really means.</p>



<p>This is probably due to the fact that during all this “Lockdown” time I have been indulging in some true RomCom classics, like the Bridget Jones trilogy (it’s an obvious one). Of specific meaning, at least to this particular conversation, is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DFQNPx5sxA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Bridget Jones – Edge of Reason</a>. It’s hilarious. But it is also significant. For a number of reasons.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Of particular importance is the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OdXXYKj6rY" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Legal Quiz scene</a> and the discussion between Bridget and Giles Benwick –&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-pullquote is-style-default"><blockquote><p><em> “<strong>Giles</strong> &#8211; You see, there&#8217;s the high-fliers, like Annabel and Mark Darcy and there&#8217;s the gorgeous girls, like Rebecca there and there&#8217;s the rest of us.</em></p><p><em><strong>Bridget</strong> &#8211; Like you and me, you mean?</em></p><p><em><strong>Giles</strong> &#8211; Absolutely. l mean, look at the state of us. You and me stumbled into the VlP room by mistake and it&#8217;s only a matter of moments before they show us the door”. </em></p></blockquote></figure>



<p>You see, I have found myself relating more and more to the Bridget’s and Giles’s of the world rather than the high-fliers like Mark Darcy and Rebecca Gillies. Stumbling into the VIP room myself. By mistake of course. And now waiting to be shown the door……</p>



<p>So the other day, when I tried to think of who the high-fliers in my circle of friends and colleagues were, there was one name that came to mind immediately &#8211; <em>Frieda Levycky</em>.</p>



<p>She is the very definition of a “High Flier”. I mean she has done more than most. Climbing mountains whilst achieving Senior Associate status (after only a few years of practice), becoming Head of Global Mergers &amp; Acquisitions by 34, General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36. And always remaining in tip- top physical condition by spending hours in the gym achieving abs of steel (making a lot of us green with envy).&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>And that’s a long list of tick items that some of us have yet to tick.&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>Whilst I, on the other hand, resemble very much (not because of any illicit drugs but because of a general sense of “WTF”?) Bridget on the beach in Thailand, dazed and confused &#8211; <a href="https://tenor.com/view/bridget-jones-renee-zellweger-edge-of-reason-bridget-jones-diary-workingtitlefilms-gif-15268280" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Looking at all the pretty colours</em></a><em>….</em></p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3088"/><figcaption>© 2004 Universal Studios and Studio Canal and Miramax Film Corp.</figcaption></figure>



<p>You can imagine my shock, when I heard that Frieda was <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">struggling to find motivation</a> after varying levels of lockdown resulting in months and months of inconsistency and <em>“loss of mojo”.</em>&nbsp;</p>



<p>It seems that even the High Fliers had come down to earth to spend a little time with the rest of us. But let’s be honest. Frieda is only human. Not infallible nor super human.&nbsp;</p>



<p>She is<em> “just a girl standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a cupcake” </em>kind of girl.</p>



<p>Just like the rest of us.&nbsp;</p>



<p>And we can all relate.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Turning 40 has a way of sneakily creeping up on you. On tippy toes. In the dark. Making no noise at all, until it gets right up behind you and claps its hands.</p>



<p><em>FRRRREEEEEAKING you the hell out!</em></p>



<p>And with my own sneaky 40 creeping up on me too, I just had to sit down with Frieda to find out <em>what’s what.</em>&nbsp;</p>



<div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What’s the T girlfriend?</em></strong></h2>



<p>So like all girlfriends, Frieda and I got together over a lovely glass of Chardonnay (via Zoom of course) and discussed mojo, the need to find motivation, what can deter you, what can encourage you and of course what turning 40 means….</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3089"/></figure>



<p>What set this all in motion was Frieda’s feeling of being a little lack-lustered and struggling to get back to her active self. Being someone who thrives on staying active, who thrives on challenges and who thrives on excelling, she decided to start the “Motivate Me” challenge. She has set out to do a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August &#8211; focusing on healthy, positive intrinsic motivation (i.e. internal rewards) rather than focusing on any negativity (which she has done before).&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<p>She is on day 22 and so far, has had a number of revelations…..</p>



<p>But &#8211; <em>So far, so good.&nbsp;</em></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The struggles of keeping motivated</em></strong></h2>



<p>Frieda readily admits that she has historically been motivated and driven by fear and/or pain to succeed (obviously a negative motivation). No one can deny that it got her to the top. Quite quickly. But it also left her with scars and traumas that she has had to deal with over the years.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Discovering and admitting that she has previously been motivated by fear and pain, led to a number of truths. <em>Hard truths.</em>&nbsp;</p>



<p>As an example, this is the first time Frieda has ever undertaken a challenge or set out to achieve a goal from a positive intrinsic standpoint. And it has proven, in some circumstances, to be difficult. Previously Frieda had always had a clear goal in mind and often ended up taking on too much, justifying to herself that she was working hard to achieve a goal. And she would be rewarded at the end of it by a promotion or financial incentive. She has always been motivated by a long term vision – <em>“this is where I will be in 2 years’ time”.&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>So undertaking something that was purely focused on her. Something that was not related to work. Something that actually took time away from her work, not resulting in a promotion or financial gain, left her in a bit of spin. Initially. Having her inner saboteur constantly saying &#8211;&nbsp;</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>How could she take time away from work for something personal?</em></li><li><em>Work is more important than personal goals.</em></li><li><em>You have no long-term vision here – what’s the point?</em></li><li><em>You have no real goal here – how will undertaking a yoga challenge benefit your career?</em></li></ul>



<p>But through this challenge she has discovered that taking time out for herself has not affected her business, it has not affected her career. In fact, it has improved it all.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3090"/></figure>



<p><strong>And the biggest realisation has been – </strong><strong><em>why are we always the first thing that we cross off our “to-do” list?</em></strong><strong>&nbsp;</strong></p>



<p>It shouldn’t be this way. And by realising this, Frieda has found motivation in the fact that she does, in fact, have a clear goal which is supported by her purpose to have a healthy work-life balance. Where she can enjoy work as well as her personal time and not feel guilty about either. She is having fun, doing something new every day, excited to be challenged physically &#8211; she wants to keep on going.&nbsp;</p>



<p>As a perfect example, she had a really tough week where she took on re-drafting a contract which required far more work than she initially realised. It sent her into a bit of a tailspin. Panic rose. And she thought to herself <em>“How can I take time out of my day to do something for myself when there is urgent work waiting?”</em></p>



<p>But she forced herself to. Not something she would have done before. And by doing so, discovered –&nbsp;</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Her perspective of what was really important and what was really urgent had changed.</em></li><li><em>She managed to clear her head, enabling her to truly apply her mind. She woke up the next day refreshed, with a renewed outlook and tackled the contract in a way that proved better than had she not taken the time out and slogged on.</em></li><li><em>In fact, had she slogged on, she’d have missed a key structuring point which would have resulted in the contract needing further changes at a later date. By taking time out for herself, she drafted the contract in a far better and more efficient way.&nbsp;</em></li></ul>



<p>Putting herself on her own to-do list has, so far, been the biggest achievement of all.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers4-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3091"/></figure>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What’s working, what’s not?</em></strong></h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>What’s working?</em></h3>



<ol class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>Having a routine has been a saving grace. As routine often is: </strong>By diarising time for her yoga challenge &#8211; like any other meeting &#8211; it enabled Frieda to take time out. Without the guilt. Have a breather. And come back to her work refreshed, renewed and excited to tackle difficult tasks. Having variety in her routines has also kept things interesting for her. Something Frieda needs in her life.&nbsp;</li><li><strong>Having a yoga instructor is important for her. </strong>Ensuring she shows up – because someone has taken time out of their day to dedicate to Frieda. It is a respect thing. Having accountability to someone is important. It has kept her on track and has kept her committed. The hardest yoga routines are the ones you have to tackle alone. The external motivation and having someone to “answer to” helps her stay on track.&nbsp;</li></ol>



<p>But she has also realised that there is a big difference between doing something because you have to &#8211; because you have been told to &#8211; and doing something because you want to and have someone supporting you. That’s a positive motivation. And one which has kept her going.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3092"/></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>What’s not working?</em></h3>



<ol class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>The journal reflection exercise has been a challenge in itself!</strong> Having to reflect on her challenge on a day-to-day basis has not been easy. In fact, instead of feeling motivated and excited to document her journey, it has resulted in feelings of stress and anxiety at having to write feelings down daily. And that surprised her.</li></ol>



<p>When she travelled abroad, during a time when she experienced an emotional transition in her life, she was able to document her feelings and what she was experiencing. Easily. The journals have served as a great record of this transitional point in her life. And she has looked back on them over the years with a sense of accomplishment and deep meaning.&nbsp;</p>



<p>These things shouldn’t be forced. They need to flow easily. Otherwise, they don’t hold the meaning they should.&nbsp;</p>



<p>So she has stopped journaling this particular journey and has rather focused on the overall positive impact on her life. With no real need for words.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Her tips to stay motivated?</em></strong></h2>



<p>This will be different for each person. We are all motivated differently (read Frieda’s article on motivation <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">here</a>). But for Frieda it has come down to having variety and fun. Being able to enjoy more than one thing during her “me” time.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3093"/></figure>



<p>It has come down to making the most out of her time – using it wisely. For Frieda, it has involved listening to audio books whilst on her way to her yoga class: such as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Enneagram-Paths-Greater-Self-Knowledge/dp/1938314549" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge</a> by Beatrice Chestnut (a hugely beneficial developmental framework which provides deeper insight into your personality, motivation and self-limiting beliefs. It helps that Frieda is a trained Enneagram Coach!) and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/154924.No_Shortcuts_to_the_Top" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">No Shortcuts to the Top: Climbing the World&#8217;s 14 Highest Peaks</a> by Ed Viesturs and David Roberts (seemingly quite apt during this challenge).</p>



<p>By doing more than one of the things she loves in order to meet her work-life balance expectations, she has been able to affirm her core values and by doing so, she is now fully aware of what her core values are – variety, fun, intuition, trust and security. Knowing this enables her to focus her attentions on them in order to improve her overall wellness and life purpose.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Let’s face it – “<em>variety and fun are often lacking for a self-proclaimed workaholic”</em> (Frieda’s words). But by doing her yoga every day and listening to her audio books, her need for variety and fun is being met.&nbsp; <strong><em>And when you live in line with your values, you have a purpose.&nbsp;</em></strong></p>



<p>And that is an extremely powerful thing!</p>



<p>Something she has learnt not only through her 40 day challenge, but something she has also learnt through <a href="https://www.integrative9.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">coaching around the Enneagram</a> (something she highly recommends).</p>



<p>Staying intrinsically motivated in line with meeting her core values has really kept her on track.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>And living with purpose is awesome!</em></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Are there saboteurs trying to detract her from her goal?</em></strong></h2>



<p>Absolutely!</p>



<p>We all have our own inner Judge (someone Frieda met and got well acquainted with in her <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Naked Lawyer</a> article).&nbsp;</p>



<p>You know that nagging negative nelly that always brings up your worst fears and deepest insecurities? That’s the culprit.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers7-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3094"/></figure>



<p>And Frieda has had this Judge in her head big time during the challenge!</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>You shouldn’t take time out of your working day to do something for yourself!</em></li><li><em>You cannot put your needs before those of your clients!&nbsp;</em></li><li><em>What’s the point? Just be happy with who you are.</em></li><li><em>You have lost a couple of pounds already, so you may as well stop here.</em></li><li><em>You are only planning on doing this for 40 days, so it’s not such a big deal if you quit now.</em></li><li><em>This isn’t paying you, so you should focus on the things that do – like your clients.</em></li></ul>



<p>And it took a lot of work to quieten that voice<em>.&nbsp;</em></p>



<p><em>But shush it you must!</em></p>



<p>Stay focused on your goals, especially when they align with your core values and give you purpose.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>Stay true to yourself and what you need to make your life full of meaning and purpose.&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>It is an inside job.</p>



<p>Just like Pearl Jam sang in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GNwnMGpW90" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Inside job</a> –&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“I will not lose my faith</em></p><p><em>It&#8217;s an inside job today</em></p><p><em>I know this one thing well”</em></p></blockquote></figure>



<p>It is important to remember that you too count. You need to be on your own to-do list. Your internal desires and needs for a fulfilling life are crucial.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Do not lose your faith!</p>



<figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“Life comes from within your heart and desire”…</em></p></blockquote></figure>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What has been the real “Aha” moment?</em></strong></h2>



<p>Everything is actually ok!</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers8-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3095"/></figure>



<p>There has actually been no backlash for taking time out to do yoga. The world hasn’t fallen apart because she took 90 minutes out of her day to focus on her inner wellbeing.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Work is getting done, even better than before, in a shorter period of time thanks to her renewed energy and focus. There is no one throwing their toys out the cot. No one shouting at her because she has taken time out of her day to do something for herself. In fact, most of her clients have been supportive, asking about the challenge and wanting to join.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>Now that’s a revelation for any professional…. The world doesn’t fall apart in your absence, clients don’t have conniptions and work still gets done. I mean, who would’ve thunk it?&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>There will always be this fear that if you change something in your life, you have to give up something else. But that simply isn’t true. A sacrifice for the betterment of your life, is not always required. Both literally and figuratively…</p>



<p>And that’s hard to remember. Especially during uncertain times, like COVID, lockdowns and looting. You always seem to default back to your old ways – the Judge firmly sitting on the bench in your subconscious.&nbsp;</p>



<p>It is impossible to foresee all the difficulties you will face. In life in general really.&nbsp;</p>



<p>There will always be self-awareness work that you will need to do. Working on yourself, facing your uncertainties, challenges and insecurities head on.</p>



<p>Remembering to always take deep breaths.</p>



<div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>And on turning 40?</em></strong></h2>



<p>It’s really just a number. Truthfully.</p>



<p>And by doing the work (on an ongoing basis), especially at 40, <em>instead of running for the hills you will learn to dance with your inner Judges as they come along.</em></p>



<p>Finishing off our Zoom “fireside” chat (it is winter after all) and our respective glasses of Chardonnay, we come to one more conclusion (over a lot of laughter and toasts to our good health) &#8211; we absolutely agree with Bridget Jones!</p>



<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3QgZ5G72EM" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“Smug – well it’s about time. So maybe just a little”.</em></a></p>



<p>About time for what you may ask?</p>



<p>For putting ourselves first. And not feeling guilty about it.&nbsp;</p>



<p>For embracing our 40 year old status with excitement and joy! After all, just like a fine wine, you always get better with age. Remembering of course to store your bottles of wine well and ensuring you make yourself a priority!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<p>So, yeah, maybe we are being a little smug about that. <em>Because it’s about time!</em></p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="http://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/feeling-demotivated-cta.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3096"/></a></figure>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure>
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<div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%">
<p>About the writer,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Click here to visit&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p>
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<p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=&#8221;optin_2&#8243;]</p>



<p></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/">Finding Motivation at 40</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2021 19:09:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved.</p>



<p>So, the last 18 months have come as a bit of a shock.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated1-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3034"/></figure>



<p>When lockdown hit and South Africa was thrown into a 6-week complete shutdown (we were only capable of leaving the house for shopping or a medical visit), my body gradually shut down too.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Week 1 commenced by running around the house 20 times a day, a 45 minute cycle on the indoor bike whilst watching Top Gun; and an hour Tae Bo session with Billy Blanks dressed in 80’s garb. But the motivation rapidly dwindled.</p>



<p>I had assumed that once the mountain re-opened, I would be back out on the Cape Town trails. Motivation fully resumed (after all – I had put on a couple of lockdown pounds). I did get back out there – sporadically. And loved it when I did. But I struggled to regain any form of consistency.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>What the heck was going on? This just wasn’t like me! The things that used to motivate me: staying slim; being the best; achieving the impossible – just weren’t incentivizing me anymore!</em></p>



<p><strong><em>I know that I’m not alone in this demotivation journey.&nbsp;&nbsp;</em></strong></p>



<p>But whether you are struggling to get out of bed in the morning; to find motivation to complete work tasks; to exercise or stick to healthy eating plans &#8211; that lack of motivation is adding an extra layer of stress to what is already an uncertain and anxiety-fueled world at present.</p>



<p>So, I thought I’d write this article to share my realisations around my personal motivations over the last couple of months; and set out some new methods I’m testing to motivate myself to get back into exercise. Hopefully it will provide some food for thought with your own motivation struggles.</p>


<p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=&#8221;optin_2&#8243;]</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>My worries around exploring the topic of motivation</strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3035"/></figure>



<p>I’m going to preface this article by saying that I was reluctant to look into my lack of motivation for fear of confirming a long-term belief I’ve held about success, drive and motivation. For years, I’ve believed that in order to be successful, you have to be driven by fear and/or pain. I’ll use myself as an example:</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 1</strong></h3>



<p>Back when I was a teenager, a close family friend stopped speaking to me for three years. It was a difficult time. Emotions were heightened. Feelings were not discussed. And silly things were said out of pain and guilt. One of the last things said to me before the hiatus was that I wasn’t good enough to be a lawyer or to go to Harvard.&nbsp;</p>



<p>As a result, although subconsciously, I spent the next 15 years constantly striving; working hard; stretching myself to be the best I possibly could in my career to prove them wrong. By the time our differences were resolved, that negative motivation was firmly entrenched. It drove me up the career ladder at full speed: achieving Senior Associate after 4 years of practice; Head of Global Mergers &amp; Acquisitions by 34; General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36.</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 2</strong></h3>



<p>I grew up in the 80s/90s where the perverse notion that every woman needed to be a Size 0 or Size 00 was flaunted through every form of media. If you weren’t skeletal, then you were not attractive. The horror of being anything larger than a UK Size 10 was just not acceptable in society. You were a failure. Media in the 90’s certainly did women’s self-esteem a world of good!&nbsp;</p>



<p>Once again, negatively motivated, I became obsessed with food and exercise. I ate like a mouse throughout university to try and control my weight – much to the horror of my poor housemate. I tried every faddy diet under the sun; from Atkins to the South Beach Diet to some weird concoction of cayenne pepper, lemon juice and maple syrup!&nbsp;</p>



<p>As I stumbled through my 20s, my obsession with food was replaced by exercise. I trained for at least an hour every single day; if not twice a day. Running off the calories that I’d consumed. Woe betide I missed a day of exercise – the negative self-talk banshee would be there in full force.&nbsp;</p>



<p>My most extreme was when I was a trainee solicitor living in Hong Kong. For those of you who have ever done a stint in Hong Kong, you’ll understand the concept of the “<em>Hong Kong Stone</em>”. Hong Kong is a city that never sleeps. As trainees / young associates we worked hard and we played even harder. Countless nights did we leave Jardine House at midnight; begin our walk home up the escalators to Mid-Levels and undoubtedly bump into someone we knew &#8211; which resulted in a detour to Lan Kwai Fong. For 8 months I survived on about 3 hours of sleep a night; a lot of alcohol and early morning breakfasts at the <em>Flying Pan</em>. It was certainly the most unhealthy lifestyle I’ve lived.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/hong-kong-skyline-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3063"/></figure>



<p>But, the fear of the Hong Kong Stone – the fear of not being attractive – motivated me every day to be at Pure Fitness at 6am. I spent an hour sweating on the cross trainer or running machine (clocking off season after season of the OC and One Tree Hill) before heading to the office for another long stint. And it worked: my abs were rock hard and into those skinny Size 8 jeans I slipped. The negative motivation once again worked.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Can you be successful without negative motivation?</strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3038"/></figure>



<p>So, fast-forward to 2020 – a time where I have:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li>worked through all my historical traumas</li><li>worked on my self-confidence</li><li>become a lot kinder to myself</li><li>placed less emphasis on the way I look</li><li>developed a happy and loving relationship</li><li>created and started to live the lifestyle I love and want</li></ul>



<p>I realized that I am no longer fueled by fear and negativity.&nbsp; And there rose the fear / resistance to look into this. What if my theory that you can only be successful if driven by fear/pain was true? Where does that leave me? How could I motivate myself if I was no longer in pain?</p>



<p>So, let’s take a look at what motivation is and how it can transpire in our day to day lives.</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What is motivation?</strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3036"/></figure>



<p>Motivation is “<em>the reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way</em>” (Oxford English Dictionary).&nbsp;</p>



<p>In other words, motivation is why we do what we do. It’s our underlying driver, our reason, our purpose for taking action and behaving the way we do. It also explains why different people are motivated by different things.</p>



<p>Motivation falls into two main categories: <strong>Intrinsic motivation </strong>and<strong> extrinsic motivation</strong>, and both of those types can be expressed in a positive way (<em>reward</em>) or a negative way (<em>punishment</em>).</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Intrinsic motivation</strong>&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Intrinsic motivation refers to behaviour that is driven by internal rewards. In other words, you do it because you gain personal joy and satisfaction from the activity rather than doing it because you are influenced by an external factor.</p>



<p>An example of intrinsic motivation would be reading a book because you love escaping to a different world through literature. Whereas having to read a book in order to pass your Trusts exam would be an external influence. Granted – if you loved learning Trust law then this would constitute intrinsic motivation – but, for me &#8211; aie, aie aie! &#8211; I was glad to get those books off to the charity shop!</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Extrinsic motivation</strong>&nbsp;</h3>



<p>Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, refers to behaviour driven by an external factor. This could be in the form of an external reward (i.e. I get something from someone else as a result of completing the activity) or an external punishment (i.e. I avoid something as a result of completing the activity).</p>



<p>A few examples of extrinsic motivation are as follows:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If I work hard, I’ll get a promotion / salary increase from my company (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I use my American Express card, I’ll get frequent flyer miles (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I comply with my fiduciary duties as a director, I won’t get fired or put in jail (<em>punishment</em>).</li><li>If I clean up the house, my flat mate won’t get mad and yell at me for being untidy (<em>punishment</em>).</li></ul>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Positive and negative motivation</strong></h2>



<p>As you can see from the examples given above, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation can be expressed both in a positive or negative way.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Using the desire / need to get back into exercise as an example, the diagram below highlights some possible intrinsic and extrinsic motivations which could trigger action.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Motivation-diagram-1024x1024.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3028"/></figure>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Which style of motivation is better?</strong></h2>



<p>Each style of motivation has the ability to move a person forward, but it is questionable whether extrinsic and negative motivation is sustainable.</p>



<p>The “carrot and stick” approach – i.e. dangling rewards (such as the promise of a pay rise) or the threat of punishment (such as the fear of being fired) may increase motivation short-term, but eventually the influence of that motivation will wear off. For example, you’ll see in the corporate context, unless intrinsically motivated, staff will choose to leave unhealthy work situations even if there are prospects of a promotion or pay rise.</p>



<p>And when it comes to intrinsic motivation, although negative intrinsic motivation may be an effective source of motivation, it is evident that it has detrimental consequences on an individual’s mental health: their self-confidence, self-worth and their value.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Looking back on the two scenarios I highlighted at the beginning of this article, it’s clear that negative extrinsic motivation and negative intrinsic motivation fueled my own action, in so many aspects of my life. Especially when I was younger. It also had the effect of highlighting the fact that negative motivation and extrinsic motivation (whether positive or negative) are not sustainable forms of motivation in the long term.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Unless our motivation is aligned with our personal values &amp; beliefs, and there is a true internal benefit to us in performing the actions necessary &#8211; creating long-term, sustainable habits and practices and achieving long-term goals is always going to feel out of reach.&nbsp;</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Finding some healthy and positive intrinsic motivation</strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/motivation-quote-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3069"/></figure>



<p>With all this research at my fingertips, I’ve decided to try and incentivize myself back into a consistent exercise routine from a stance of positive intrinsic motivation.</p>



<p>As you can imagine, there are a variety of tools and techniques that can be found dotted around the internet suggesting ways in which to develop positive intrinsic motivation.</p>



<p>I’d be a fraud if I were to tell you how to do it. Considering I’ve never tested it out for myself. So, instead I’ve pulled together various elements of the research I found to form the backbone of my experiment:</p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure>
</div>



<div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%">
<p><strong><strong>Set a challenge which is not too easy and not too hard</strong></strong></p>



<p>The theory is that a challenge is a good incentive to move you into action. But – you don’t want the challenge to be too easy – you’ll get bored; nor too hard – you’ll get disillusioned (<em>The Goldilocks Rule – a challenge that is “Just right&#8221;</em>).</p>



<p>So, with my 40<sup>th</sup> birthday looming just around the corner, I’ve decided to undertake a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August. I will finish (all going according to plan) the day before my birthday.</p>



<p>This challenge for me is a stretch. But it is also something I know I am capable of as I have completed a 40-day challenge before! Granted, it was 12 years ago!</p>
</div>
</div>



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<div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex">
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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure>
</div>



<div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%">
<p><strong><strong>Understand the positive internal benefits of taking on this challenge:</strong></strong></p>



<p>I’ve worked through a number of questions (see worksheet attached) to really tap into why I want to get back into yoga, the benefits it will bring to me, and the saboteur tendencies that are likely to try and derail me.</p>
</div>
</div>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex">
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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure>
</div>



<div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%">
<p><strong><strong>Journal</strong></strong></p>



<p>I’m certain that this challenge is going to be far from easy. But to keep track of my progress, I’ve committed to keep myself accountable by documenting this journey in my journal.&nbsp;</p>
</div>
</div>



<p></p>



<div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Will I re-find my yoga mojo?&nbsp;</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3039"/></figure>



<p>I honestly don’t know. I’ve never consciously motivated myself this way before. But, I’ll keep you updated on social media over the next 40 days. So, stay tuned!</p>



<p>If you are in need of some motivation to kickstart a lifestyle change or reach a goal, and you’d like to join me on the “Motivate Me” challenge – by all means do so.&nbsp;</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Identify your 40-day goal / challenge</li><li>Determine your intrinsic motivation (download the worksheet below)</li><li>Grab yourself a journal and be ready to note down your daily progress.</li></ul>



<p><em>We’re all in this together. </em></p>



<p>I can honestly admit, hand-on-heart, that I don’t have the answers. But I’ll tell you one thing &#8211; I’m prepared to try something new!</p>



<p>After all: <em>“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”</em> &nbsp;&#8211; Thomas Jefferson.</p>



<p>Success motivated from a place of happiness – well, who wouldn’t want that!</p>


<p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=&#8221;optin_2&#8243;]</p>



<p></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace &#8211; breaking the glass slipper, ceiling &#038; cliff</title>
		<link>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2021 06:53:05 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Climbing the corporate ladder for female leaders still remains overly complex. It's time to break the glass ceiling &#038; glass cliff for good.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace &#8211; breaking the glass slipper, ceiling &#038; cliff</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Article 3 of 3 in the&nbsp;<em>Female Leadership</em>&nbsp;series</strong></p>



<h6 class="wp-block-heading"><em>CO-WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY (<a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a>) &amp; ALICIA KOCH (<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a>)</em></h6>



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<p>Think back to when you still played with dolls and had tea parties with your teddy bears. When we all still believed in magic and talking animals. When we all still watched Walt Disney with a certain sense of belief. And wonder.</p>



<p><em>We all wanted to be the heroine in our own stories. We all wanted to be the princesses in our own fairytales.</em></p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2921"/></figure>



<p>Take Cinderella as an example. Despite being, for want of a better word, a servant in the beginning of the story, we all still wanted <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY30B9ZMq4U" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">talking mice as friends</a> <em>like her</em>, we all wanted to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSknj15TYuU" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">talk to birds</a> <em>like her</em> and we all wanted to have our own Happily Ever After <em>like her</em>. <em>We all wanted to be Cinderella.</em></p>



<p>I mean, why not? At the end of the day she was rewarded for her hard work and strife with one night that changed her life. Forever.</p>



<p><em>Swoooooon.</em></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>The fairy tale</strong> &#8211; no glass ceilings or cliffs in sight</em></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries11.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries11" class="wp-image-2914"/></figure>



<p><em></em>Donned in her one-of-a-kind, exquisite dress and glass slippers (all provided by her magical Fairy Godmother), Cinderella runs down the stairs as the clock strikes 12 (just before her carriage turns into a pumpkin) leaving behind one glass slipper – the <em>only clue</em> to her identity for her one true love to find.</p>



<p><em>Umm, hello? Wouldn’t he just recognize her face, her laugh, her voice? Why the glass slipper? And &#8211; as an aside &#8211; if it fit so perfectly, how did it fall off her foot in the first place?</em></p>



<p>Miraculously, prince charming by sheer wit and will alone (<em>whatev’s</em>) finally finds Cinderella, the glass slipper fitting her perfectly (I mean how unique <em>were her feet</em>?) and suddenly he recognizes her. Because of her glass slipper….. not because of her.</p>



<p>And they lived<em> Happily Ever After</em>.</p>



<p>Simple as that.</p>



<p><strong>Preposterous!</strong></p>



<p>I mean a shoe cannot be the key to a Happily Ever After, can it? (If so, then Alicia, here is the proof that your shoe fetish has been wholeheartedly justified).</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The real world glass slipper</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2922"/></figure>



<p>If we’re really honest – we wanted the happily ever after part. We too wanted to get everything we had ever dreamed of.</p>



<p>If we are <em>really, really honest</em>, we dreamt of having our own Fairy Godmother, of wearing the glass slippers and of having our own prince charming sweep us off our feet.</p>



<p>We are both romantics at heart….. <em>and naïve.</em></p>



<p><em></em>But it was only later that we discovered that stories like Cinderella were not only <em>wholly inaccurate</em>, they were also make believe. They were fairy tales. Some might even say that they were vehicles for keeping women in line – <em>be good, work hard and you will be rewarded with your prince charming. </em>A whimsical tale, which may even dissuade a woman from actually trying to climb the corporate ladder in the first place – <em>why do all that if you only need a prince charming to make you happy?</em></p>



<p>And whilst we always had a taste for expensive heels, it was only later in our careers that the “<em>glass slipper”</em> magically appeared in our life. Just not in the way we had always imagined it would.</p>



<p>You see, adulthood has a way of poking holes into even the most charming of fairy tales. And even the most innocent of wishes.</p>



<p>Reality is no fairytale.</p>



<p>So, let’s talk about the <em>“glass slipper”</em> <strong><em>in the real world</em></strong>….</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Problem 1 for females in the workplace: </em><strong><em>The Glass Ceiling</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries5.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries5.png" class="wp-image-2915"/></figure>



<p>Not a slipper at all, rather a ceiling. The glass ceiling can be described as an invisible barrier that <em>prevents women</em> from rising to higher ranks within a corporation. And women continue (even in this day and age. Perhaps, especially in this day and age) to struggle to get fair representation in corporate boards and higher management levels <em>because of it</em>.</p>



<p>You know you have reached this glass ceiling when lesser qualified individuals than you keep passing you by, smugly being promoted to more senior roles.</p>



<p>In fact in a study titled the <a href="https://www.ijrte.org/wp-content/uploads/papers/v8i4/D6923118419.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Impact of Glass Ceiling on Stress, Well-Being, Self-Esteem, Effective Organizational Commitment and Job Satisfaction among Working Women</a>, the following was set out &#8211; <em>“even though there is a considerable increase in participation and subsistence of women employees in the workforce, the ingress of women into higher managerial positions remains restricted”</em>.</p>



<p>And that was in 2019.</p>



<p>It is clear that the glass ceiling is still being fought today. I mean we <em>can</em> <em>see through it</em>. We just <em>cannot break through it</em>. <strong><em>Still</em></strong><em>.</em></p>



<p>In our article <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Women leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a>, we highlighted the fact that based on the January 2021 S&amp;P 500 list, women currently hold only 31 of the <em>total CEO positions</em> at S&amp;P 500 companies. That makes up a meager 6.2% of total global top 500 companies.</p>



<p>Startling.</p>



<p>And we’re certain that a common thread with each of the female CEOs has been to fight tooth and nail for the role. Because they undoubtedly had to work doubly hard for the position. It’s a battle women around the world face in their workplace. No matter how “diverse” their oganisation may claim to be.</p>



<p>And don’t forget, the effects of the glass ceiling can be felt long after you have bumped your head against it &#8211; year after year. In fact, in the afore mentioned study, the researcher wanted to “<em>throw the light on the need of equality which is only seen in policies / practices, but the fact is <strong>females are not taken as healthy competitors of males in professional roles due to the social taboo &amp; how these things are affecting their performance, job satisfaction, work-life balance, stress levels &amp; their confidence</strong>.”</em></p>



<p>In fact, and according to <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/glass-ceiling-effect" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">health line</a>, the realities of inequality in the workplace can have a direct effect on women’s health and well-being. A stalled career and the inability to gain a higher income can leave you with a bundle of mixed feelings, including self-doubt, a sense of isolation, resentment, anger, stress, mood disorders, anxiety and depression. I am certain we have all felt it at one point or another.</p>



<p>And whilst women have been chipping away at the glass ceiling for years, there is still <em>a long way to go</em>.</p>



<p>However, the important take away is this &#8211; being held back <em>because of the glass ceiling</em>, is a <em>reflection on the company you work for</em>. And not on you or your abilities.</p>



<p>You <em>can </em>manage the stress, depression and anxiety by talking to someone who understands you, who can listen and provide some guidance, like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>



<p>So keep looking beyond that glass ceiling and focus on the stars instead.</p>



<p><em>“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star” &#8211; W. Clement Stone</em></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Problem 2 for females in the workplace:</em> <strong><em>The Glass Cliff</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2916"/></figure>



<p>Michelle Ryan, a social and organizational psychologist at the University of Exeter, (and the person responsible for coining the phrase the <em>&#8220;glass cliff”), </em>described the<em> </em>research-backed phenomenon as when <em>women are promoted to senior leadership positions during a difficult time for a company, when the risk of failure is high. </em>And fail to lead <em>because of it</em>.<em></em></p>



<p><em></em>It is a <em>sister phenomenon to the glass ceiling</em> and is seemingly one of the major ways that women can attempt to <em>break through the glass ceiling. </em>Unfortunately.<em></em></p>



<p><em>It’s easy to understand why it is likened to a cliff – given the ease in which you can fall off it!</em></p>



<p>And the crucial thing with the Glass Cliff is the <em>timing and manner in which women are promoted to leadership positions</em>. Are women only chosen for top positions <em>because of precarious times</em>, because employees are demanding diversity, because their stakeholders are demanding diversity?</p>



<p>According to Michelle Ryan and in answer to the above question, (together with her colleague Alex Haslam), the “<em>failure to lead” </em>during difficult times is not <em>due to women being bad leaders, but because they were appointed as leaders when companies were failing themselves</em>.</p>



<p><em></em>The conclusion? &#8211; <em>if women are only promoted during times of crisis the fact that they fail is <strong>not because they are unable to lead, but because leading in a time of crisis is more difficult</strong> and more precarious than leading when everything is smooth sailing. It’s the circumstance and not the quality of leadership.</em></p>



<p>Seemingly obvious.</p>



<p><em></em>And what inevitably results from “<em>failing to lead” </em>during these times of crisis is the assumption (and stereotype) that <em>women are unable to lead and are not good in leadership roles.</em></p>



<p>Not only nonsense but outright unfair!</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The glass cliff and glass ceiling in action</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries8-1.jpg" alt="gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries" class="wp-image-2917"/></figure>



<p>I (Frieda) once had a conversation with the senior heads of a global corporation about its lack of diversity in the executive team. Of the 20 members, not a single female was represented. When I pointed out the benefits that qualified and capable women would bring to the team, I was greeted by a roll of the eyes and a sneer: “<em>We’ve tried that twice before and look at how that turned out</em>.”</p>



<p>I was pretty astounded by the response. I knew the women who had been appointed to these top positions: both strong, charismatic, clever women. Women who had dedicated the majority of their professional careers to the organization. And when I say dedicated – I mean dedicated. They’d sacrificed time with their families. Worked late into the night. Travelled the world to meet with consumers and staff. These were women whose hard work and integrity I admired. Whose dedication had warranted their promotion.</p>



<p>But once they had jumped every hurdle possible to achieve the lofty heights of the executive suite – it became a never-ending battle to stay there. Instead of focusing on the capability, compassion, innovative way of thinking which they had brought to the executive suite, one was cloaked by rumours that she’d slept her way to the top &#8211; quite frankly, who cares who she was sleeping with (if she was). She was excellent at her job and deserved a seat at the table. And the other was knowingly promoted into a position outside of her area of expertise at a time when the company was really struggling. <em>Glass cliff – here we come!</em> A year later, she was replaced by a man. Back into familiar territory we go.</p>



<p>The cards were written before the executive suite door had even been opened.</p>



<p>Despite regaling this information to the senior heads, I’m sorry to say that it landed on deaf ears. The same corporation today still has a leadership team of 20 people – only one of them is a woman.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>So how are the glass ceiling and glass cliff tackled?</em></strong></h2>



<p>Not through positive discrimination – that’s for sure! Appointing women to higher ranking positions purely because quotas or external financing require it, doesn’t stop sexist behaviour – it fuels it. Positive discrimination suggests that women need a leg up to get to the executive level. What nonsense! Women deserve to be appointed because of their <em>talents, because of their hard work, because of their perspective.</em> Appointments should be based on <em>merit</em> not gender … or race, sexual preference or religion for that matter.</p>



<p><em>So what can we do tackle the glass ceiling and glass cliff?</em></p>



<p>It may seem like a <em>“Duh”</em> moment but it’s simple really.</p>



<p>It <em>starts</em> by consciously changing the kind of sexist language that is no longer acceptable in the workplace today. And ladies, this applies to us too. We have adopted sexist language into our own daily vocabulary. Language that encourages the unconscious bias that companies have towards women in the workplace. Language that limits a woman’s role within the workplace. Albeit unconsciously.</p>



<p>When preparing this blog post, we spoke with a number of our female friends in the corporate world and asked them for examples of recent sexist language used in the workplace. Take a look at the infograph below.</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/what-women-dont-want-to-hear-in-the-workplace.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2944" width="660" height="1500"/></figure>



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<p>These sayings or words may seem somewhat unimportant and petty. Especially when there are bigger issues at hand. But language and <em>how it reflects the role of gender in the workplace, how it can perpetuate the glass ceilings or cause the glass cliffs is crucial</em>. Think about it – <em>“oh it’s that time of the month again” – </em>eluding to the fact that a woman, especially in a senior role, cannot be entrusted to make a sound decision because she is on her period. It’s nonsense. And yet said. So often.</p>



<p>These small changes in the workplace, like changing demeanour and changing language can place everyone – male and female &#8211; on a level playing field at an earlier stage in their careers. Right from the get-go. And in the right way.</p>



<p>But language is only the beginning – how about when appointing women in senior leadership positions, you provide them with the support they require to succeed? Whether that means bigger budgets, more time, more flexibility or the support of others within the company. Whatever it is. They need to be set up to succeed. Not set up to fail. Just like a man placed in the same role. Equality is the goal!</p>



<p>Logical. And easy to do. No?</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Breaking through the glass ceiling and cliff: Is there a happy ever after?</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries10-Custom.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries10 (Custom)" class="wp-image-2925"/></figure>



<p><em></em>There is a great saying: <em>“Teach your daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings.”</em></p>



<p>Accurate. And appropriately thought provoking. But we think it goes beyond that..</p>



<p>There is no doubt that fairytales have their place – they bring a magical quality to our childhood (and to our dreams) – but (more importantly) we need to teach the younger generation about how the real world works. We need to teach them about the importance of culture and diversity <em>in all aspects of life</em>. About equality. About how language impacts the way we see the world.</p>



<p><em>About the realities of glass ceilings and glass cliffs. And not about the romance of glass slippers.</em></p>



<p>Through teaching the next generation, we are not only seeking to eradicate inequality at the younger level, we are also bringing awareness to our own language and behaviour; to our own unconscious bias.</p>



<p>And perhaps instead of just wearing our glass slippers, we can take them in hand and use them as tools to break the glass ceilings and glass cliffs. Turn the fairytale into something more empowering. We don’t need a prince to be our “happily ever after”. What we <em>do </em>need is awareness, strength of character and moral aptitude to do better. Be better.</p>



<p>After all – isn’t that what a fairytale is for &#8211; showing you how good life could be? Well then, be rewarded for your hard work and strife. Take that darn shoe (glass or otherwise) and walk forward, looking ahead. Your head held high. Because you don’t need to rely on a fairy Godmother to make your dreams come true. <em>You have yourself for that!</em></p>



<p></p>



<p><strong>Other articles in the <em>female leadership</em> series:</strong></p>



<p><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Article 1:&nbsp;FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – WHY ARE WE SO FEW?</a><br><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Article 2:&nbsp;FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE &#8211; HOW DO WE BREAK THROUGH?</a><br><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">Article 3: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE &#8211; BREAKING THE GLASS SLIPPER, CEILING &amp; CLIFF</a></strong></p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure>



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<p>About the writer,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Click here to visit&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace &#8211; breaking the glass slipper, ceiling &#038; cliff</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2021 18:34:44 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>How do bring more female leaders into senior positions? It's time to be inspired. It's time to be brave not perfect.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/">Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5>



<p></p>



<p><strong>Article 2 of 3 in the&nbsp;<em>Female Leadership</em>&nbsp;series</strong></p>



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<p>In our <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">last article</a>, we discussed barriers women face in the workplace. Things like the <em>broken rung effect</em> and the <em>entitlement gap</em>. Each explaining why there are so few women in senior roles in the workplace – a type of unconscious bias (both by women caused by societal ideas of the broken rung and the entitlement gap as well as the subliminal bias of their male counterparts) that women don’t belong in senior level positions.</p>



<p>But we couldn’t disagree more – women have so much to bring to the workplace. Offering different benefits and positive additions to the workplace.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>This is <strong>not</strong> a male vs female thing.&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>Rather it is women and men working together – with equal pay, equal say and equal standing in the workplace. Even in senior roles.</p>



<p>Unfortunately, it just appears that women haven’t been given the “leg up”. And there is still a disconnect, despite surveys and studies to the contrary, between the notion that women offer a great deal to the organisations that they work for and there just not being enough women in real leadership roles in the workplace to take any guidance or motivation from.</p>



<p>We are seemingly short of role models……</p>



<p>The song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv-0mmVnxPA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">“Let the River Run”</a> by Carly Simon comes to mind –&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>“We the great and small</em></p>



<p><em>Stand on a star</em></p>



<p><em>And blaze a trail of desire</em></p>



<p><em>Through the darkening dawn”</em></p>



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<p>And I am not sure about you but I am suddenly imagining Melanie Griffith in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_Girl" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working Girl</a> commuting to New York City in her sneakers!</p>



<p>And it is this movie that, in at least some ways, firmly represents what it means to break-through in the workplace. To become the person you know you are meant to be. Despite any previous notions to the contrary.</p>



<p>And it is the most obvious example I can use in not only setting the tone for this article but also highlighting what we already know – we deserve to be here. We deserve to be in senior roles. We deserve to succeed.</p>



<p>Working Girl, in my opinion, remains a timeless example of the working woman – women that are fierce, passionate, courageous and resilient all at the same time. Possibly ahead of its time (in its messaging), Working Girl celebrated the bravery and ambition it takes to <em>maintain your values while fighting for a place in a system that isn’t designed to accommodate you</em>. The real love story isn’t between Tess and Jack or even Tess and her job—<strong><em>it’s in the love and belief Tess has for herself </em></strong>(<a href="https://film.avclub.com/working-girl-s-message-is-timeless-even-if-the-hair-an-1841193320" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working Girl’s message is timeless, even if the hair and the shoulder pads aren’t</a>)<strong><em>.</em></strong></p>



<p>And following on from Tess’s realisation, women need to believe that they are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we are able to achieve more than what we have been led to believe (both by society and ourselves). We may think that we are alone and that we cannot breakthrough the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">glass ceiling in the workplace</a> (something we will also be discussing in our next article – watch this space). But that simply isn’t true. Even if we cannot see it. </p>



<p>And therein lies the seemingly obvious realisation &#8211; there are just not enough women in any industry to show us that <em>we can</em> &#8211; there are not enough role models to show the younger generation of women what is possible. What they can do. Who they can become and what they can achieve.&nbsp;</p>



<p>But we can change that….</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="female-role-models-in-the-workplace-just-a-few-shining-examples"><strong><em>Female role models in the workplace (just a few shining examples) –&nbsp;</em></strong></h2>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace2-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2736"/></figure>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="alyssa-carson"><strong><em>Alyssa Carson</em></strong></h3>



<p>The 19-year-old astronaut in training who is on a mission to become the youngest person ever in space and one of the first people on Mars, graduated from the Advanced Space Academy at 16-years-old, becoming the youngest person ever to do so.&nbsp;</p>



<p>In an interview conducted by <a href="https://www.thefemalelead.com/post/meet-the-teenage-astronaut-in-training-on-a-mission-to-mars" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Female Lead</a>, Alyssa was asked one question which has seemingly stood out&nbsp; &#8211; <em>When you first decided to train as an astronaut, did you have any preconceptions as to what one looked like?</em></p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“When I was younger I didn’t really have much of an idea of who astronauts were and I think that’s the biggest issue &#8211; so many kids are interested in space and haven’t always seen visible representation in the media, like women and younger people. One thing for me that I’ve been trying to change is to encourage younger people who are interested in space to go for it at any age. The youngest person, in the USA, to fly to space was 32 and I always just thought why is that. Of course, you have to do the training and attend University but why have we never sent anyone younger.</em></p><p><em>I think the next steps should be to get </em><strong>more women involved in the industry </strong><em>&#8211; which is already happening and is amazing to see &#8211; but also to capture the younger generation in this. </em><strong><em>Seeing more females of all ages working in the various roles throughout the space industry would be amazing</em></strong><em>”</em>.</p></blockquote>



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<p>Alyssa was then asked &#8211; <em>How important are female mentors to you? </em>And her obvious answer was –&nbsp;</p>



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<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“</em><strong><em>Really important</em></strong><em>. So many female mentors have made me think that what I want to do is definitely possible”.</em></p></blockquote>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="jacinda-adhern"><strong><em>Jacinda Adhern</em></strong></h3>



<p>Jacinda is the 40 year old New Zealand politician who has been serving as the 40th prime minister of New Zealand and leader of the Labour Party since 2017. She was first elected to the House of Representatives as a list MP in 2008, and has been the Member of Parliament for Mount Albert since March 2017. In 2017 (and at 37), she was the youngest head of state in New Zealand.</p>



<p>Due to her amazing leadership, she will govern New Zealand for a second term after the Labour party secured a historic landslide victory in the general election in 2020, attracting so many votes it could become the first party in decades to be able to govern alone.&nbsp;</p>



<p>She is an incredible leader transforming public assumptions about women in leadership, taking her daughter in 2018 to the UN, becoming the first world leader to bring their baby to the UN general assembly. She eliminated COVID-19 in her country announcing in April 2020 that there was no longer any undetected community transmission of COVID-19 and that her country had effectively “eliminated” the virus, with health authorities aware of and able to trace each current case. She banned military-style semi-automatics less than a month after the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/13/they-are-us-christchurch-shooting-victims-remembered-two-years-on" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Christchurch shootings</a>. She became the first NZ PM to march in an LGBTQ+ Pride event. In 2020, she pledged to provide period products to all girls committing to end “period poverty” by giving all school-aged people who have period’s free sanitary products. And those are just some of her highlights. There are so many <a href="https://scroll.in/video/942660/watch-new-zealand-pm-jacinda-ardern-take-less-than-three-minutes-to-outline-two-years-achievements" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">more</a>.</p>



<p>But even a woman as highly regarded and as highly accomplished as Jacinda <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/21/jacinda-ardern-i-try-to-turn-self-doubt-into-something-more-positive" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">revealed</a> that she suffers from “imposter syndrome” and she tries to turn her self-doubt into “something more positive”.</p>



<p>We can all understand it. No matter how well we do or how high we fly &#8211; we still doubt ourselves. An unfortunate result of decades of believing that we are not worthy.&nbsp;</p>



<p>But we <em>can</em> overcome all of these doubts and misgivings and turn it into something positive. Just like Jacinda.&nbsp;</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="there-are-so-many-other-amazing-female-leaders"><strong><em>There are so many other amazing female leaders &#8211;&nbsp;</em></strong></h2>



<p>Just take your pick!</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2737"/></figure>



<p>There are other women in leadership roles that are shining examples of how women can (and do) succeed &#8211; take congresswoman <a href="https://ocasio-cortez.house.gov/about/biography" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez</a> for example, or president of the European Commission <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/ursula-von-der-leyen/?list=power-women&amp;sh=300ff75175d4" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ursula von der Leyen</a>, or CEO of Nasdaq <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/adena-friedman/?list=power-women&amp;sh=2243c2f3245f" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Adena Friedman</a>, or <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/oprah-winfrey/?list=power-women&amp;sh=6c4454965745" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Oprah Winfrey</a> for goodness sake. Or any of the other 100 most powerful women in the world as listed by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/power-women/#2e129b5a5e25" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes</a>.</p>



<p>There are many powerful and successful women in senior and leadership roles.&nbsp;</p>



<p><strong>We just need to look beyond our own insecurities, our own inabilities and be our own cheerleaders. </strong><strong><em>Believe that we can do it</em></strong><strong>. If the women listed in Forbes top 100 woman can do it, so can we!&nbsp;</strong></p>



<p>We just need to look beyond our own fears to see them. <strong><em>And be them.</em></strong></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-women-break-through-in-the-workplace"><strong><em>So how can women “break through” in the workplace?</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2739"/></figure>



<p>I wish it was as easy as – “Abracadabra”. But it just isn’t.</p>



<p>But we need to start somewhere.&nbsp;</p>



<p>You often find that success is found outside of your comfort zone. And more so than that – by tackling the things that scare you to the core.&nbsp;</p>



<p><a href="https://reshmasaujani.com/about/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Reshma Saujani</a>, founder and CEO of <a href="https://girlswhocode.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Girls Who Code</a>, said that while girls are taught to play it safe, smile pretty and get all A&#8217;s, boys are taught to play rough and swing high. <em>&#8220;In other words, we&#8217;re raising our girls to be perfect, and we&#8217;re raising our boys to be brave,&#8221;</em> she said in a <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/reshma_saujani_teach_girls_bravery_not_perfection/transcript?utm_campaign=BeepBeepBites%20-%20Nieuwsbrief&amp;utm_source=hs_email&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8hrp2DddFfAf2NdFVByHUTn6FGOOYtdO-Tj4iaUlmmZM_y7TTWE3OK83RNrqqYeU-PawWa" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">TED </a>talk. Even when women are ambitious, the socialisation of perfection often leads them to risk aversion, Saujani said. So teach girls bravery,<strong><em> not perfection.&nbsp;</em></strong></p>



<p>Leave the perfection to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stepford_Wives_(2004_film)" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Stepford Wives</a>. Spoiler alert – it is science fiction (aka not real and not realistic)!</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="because-it-takes-bravery-to-succeed-not-just-being-perfect"><strong><em>Because it takes bravery to succeed not just being perfect.&nbsp;</em></strong></h2>



<p>Every successful entrepreneur and business leader <em>did what they were afraid to do instead of just letting the fear rule their personal and professional lives.</em> Often the best way to overcome fear is to acknowledge it. Recognise that the fear is there, but go for it anyway. If we don’t, we may miss one of those serendipitous <em>&#8220;aha&#8221;</em> moments that could inspire us to take a different approach and, by so doing, achieving greatness.&nbsp;</p>



<p>So it comes down to this &#8211; if we want to be viewed as equal in the workplace, if we want equal pay and equal opportunity. If we want the recognition that we deserve (and have earned). If we want the working conditions that are favourable to us. If we want to have that work-life blend and not fear having to always “be on”. If we want to simply excel, then &#8211;</p>



<p><strong><em>We must stand our ground and demand the respect we deserve – and it starts by behaving as if the entitlement gap has been closed and the broken rung has been well and truly fixed.&nbsp;</em></strong></p>



<p>Women need to lead by example in order to be role models to other young women entering the work force.&nbsp;</p>



<p>In an article by Business News Daily titled <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Key Steps Women Can Take to Be Strong Leaders</a>, the following was set out &#8211;&nbsp;</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“As each woman in the workplace does her part to work toward gender equality in her workplace, the gaps will slowly but surely close. It isn&#8217;t a matter of the different strengths that men and women bring to their careers, but instead </em><strong><em>how we accept the meshing of those strengths to drive companies forward in meeting their goals and setting new ones while achieving individual success</em></strong><em>”.</em></p></blockquote>



<p>And that’s the point really. We don’t want more than men. We just want the same.&nbsp; And it really <strong><em>starts with us simply standing up for ourselves (and each other) and being brave</em></strong>!&nbsp;</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace4.jpg" alt="“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid” – Goethe " class="wp-image-2738"/></figure>



<p></p>



<p>So let’s do that! <strong><em>Let’s be bold, let’s be brave and let’s succeed!</em></strong></p>



<p>In closing, we hope that these quotes will inspire you to do great things (whatever they may be) –&nbsp;</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p>“<em>Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” </em></p><cite>Maya Angelou</cite></blockquote>



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<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done.”</em> </p><cite>Marge Piercy</cite></blockquote>



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<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” </em></p><cite>– Marie Curie</cite></blockquote>



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<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.”</em> </p><cite>Atticus</cite></blockquote>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure>
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<div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%">
<p>About the writer,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Click here to visit&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p>
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</div>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/">Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</title>
		<link>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Apr 2021 09:07:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[business women]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Women bring unique qualities to leadership teams, and yet women leaders in the workplace remain so few. Let's explore why!</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/">FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5>



<p></p>



<p><strong>Article 1 of 3 in the&nbsp;<em>Female Leadership</em>&nbsp;series</strong></p>



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<p>Gender equality in the workplace is not a new topic of discussion. It has been discussed numerous times before. Seemingly falling on deaf ears. Not surprisingly as women leaders in the workplace are still a minority. And that is a fact.</p>



<p>But we want to reiterate before proceeding any further that <strong><em>this is <u>not</u> a gender bashing or anti-men article</em></strong>. Having women in leadership roles and gender equality is not about disliking men or wanting dominion over them. Not at all. It is simply about wanting to be treated fairly and equally, to have equal pay, equal opportunity for senior roles, to have our concerns, our ideas and ourselves (personally and professionally) taken seriously.</p>



<p>So let’s start off with the following quote (to set the tone) –</p>



<p><strong><em>“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves” &#8211; Mary Shelley.</em></strong></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2694"/></figure>



<p>If this were 60 years ago the very notion of women being anywhere but in the kitchen would have been the punchline to a joke. But here we are in 2021 and women can be (somewhat) seen in the workplace fulfilling different roles in different industries. Performing very well, actually.</p>



<p>But the question, on most (women) people’s lips, is this – <strong><em>how many women are really in senior roles or leaders in companies? Are companies merely paying lip service to the notion of diversity in the workplace?</em></strong></p>



<p>According to the <a href="https://www.catalyst.org/research/women-ceos-of-the-sp-500/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Catalyst</a>, and based on the January 2021 S&amp;P 500 list (which is not a static list and is updated annually with women who are counted from the date they officially take their positions), women currently hold 31 of the total CEO positions at S&amp;P 500 companies. That makes up only 6.2%. <strong><em>In total.</em></strong></p>



<p>To illustrate how significant these appointments of female CEOs are, <a href="https://fortune.com/2020/11/24/dicks-sporting-goods-new-ceo-lauren-hobart-women-in-business/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">News</a> was made in November 2020 when Lauren Hobart was appointed as Dick&#8217;s Sporting Goods CEO, replacing Ed Stack, whose father founded Dick&#8217;s in 1948. According to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/women-fortune-500-ceos-reaches-new-high-2020-11?IR=T#a__text_Hobart_s_20appointment_20brings_20the_20number_and_20Linda_20Rendle_20at_20Clorox_" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Business Insider</a>, this <em>appointment was significant</em> enough to note in a lengthy article on the matter. You see, Lauren’s appointment brought <strong><em>the total number of Fortune 500 Companies with female CEO’s to 41.</em></strong></p>



<p>Women around the world “applauded” as the numbers rose from a previous “record high” of only 40<strong> female CEO’s. This is said with a certain amount of sarcasm – 41 is really not an adequate number. </strong><em>Is it?</em></p>



<p>Honestly, I am not entirely sure that one increase in the number of female CEO’s is worth the applause. Although, as they say – “Beggars can’t be choosers”. A harsh statement to make, but it makes an impact. Especially under these circumstances.</p>



<p>Whilst we can acknowledge that the representation of women in senior roles in the workplace is improving, we are still significantly underrepresented. And that is simply not acceptable. Not in today’s times.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But why are women so underrepresented in the workplace?</em></strong></h2>



<p>Well there are quite a few contributing factors, including the <em>“broken rung” </em>and the <em>“entitlement gap” &#8211;</em></p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace &#8211; The “broken rung”</em></strong></h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2695"/></figure>



<p>According to <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the McKinsey &amp; Company September 2020 article</a>, the representation of women <em>was starting to improve</em>. Most prominently in senior management where the representation of women in senior-vice-president positions grew from 23% to 28%. But those percentages are still terribly skewed and women are once again not filling more of the senior roles.</p>



<p>McKinsey claims that it is the <em>“broken rung”</em> that is still holding women back. With women continually losing ground at the first step up to becoming a manager. As an illustration (and putting it into perspective) &#8211; for every 100 men promoted to manager level, only 85 women are promoted. As a result, women remain significantly outnumbered in entry-level management, holding only 38% of manager-level positions, whilst men held 62%. With this being the case, women experience an uneven playing (and paying) field leading to persistent leadership gaps in senior roles.</p>



<p><strong><em>You see, gender diversity is simply not a priority to most companies. Especially in times like COVID.</em></strong></p>



<p>The McKinsey study showed that prior to COVID, <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Women in the Workplace research</a> had consistently found that women and men left their companies at comparable rates. However, <strong><em>due to the challenges created by the COVID-19 crisis, as many as two million women are considering leaving the workforce</em></strong>.</p>



<p>Mothers are more than three times as likely as fathers to be responsible for most of the housework and caregiving during the pandemic. <strong><em>Where is the sharing of the load here</em></strong><em>?</em> In fact (and according to the Study), woman are 1.5 times more likely than fathers to be spending an additional three or more hours per day on housework and childcare. So much so that women who are employed full-time are often said to be working a “double shift.”</p>



<p><em>I can hear a collective “Amen sister” as I write that. Because it is the truth, is it not?</em></p>



<p>Now women (and mothers in particular), are taking on an even heavier load. The title of the Sarah Jessica Parker movie <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJPKOS9DZeg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">“I Don&#8217;t Know How She Does It”</a> springs to mind.</p>



<p>It therefore comes as no surprise that one in five mothers who don’t live with a spouse or partner, <em>face even greater challenges</em>. It’s enough to want to make you pull out your not so perfectly coiffed hair (which reminds me – I really need to book a colour and blow wave. <em>When I get the chance</em>.).</p>



<p>So given these enormous challenges faced by mothers <strong><em>at work and at home</em></strong>, two things should come as no surprise &#8211; many mothers are considering downshifting their career or leaving the workforce altogether, and mothers are significantly more likely to be thinking about taking these steps than fathers are.</p>



<p>The (additional) problem is this &#8211; if these women leave the workplace, there will be even fewer women in leadership roles. And we simply cannot afford that.</p>



<p><strong><em>Keeping your head above water nowadays really does feel like swimming against the current. In shark infested waters.</em></strong></p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace &#8211; The “entitlement gap”</em></strong></h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2698"/></figure>



<p>A study, which was led by Cambridge psychologist <a href="https://terriapter.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr Terri Apter</a> in collaboration with LinkedIn and the educational charity <a href="https://www.thefemalelead.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Female Lead</a>, came to the startling (but not really surprising) conclusion that <strong><em>women have been socially conditioned to feel less deserving of men</em></strong>. Especially with regards to things such as pay rises, promotions or more suitable conditions (even when you know you deserve it). A phenomenon they term <em>‘the unentitled mindset’</em> or the <em>“entitlement gap”</em>.</p>



<p><strong><em>This gap both aptly and accurately describes the difference between the ways that men may be quick to make demands on an employer and how women are reluctant to do so at all.</em></strong></p>



<p>According to the survey of 2,000 UK workers (which was conducted as part of the study), the problem is widespread. <strong><em>The results show that 44% of women agree that women feel less entitled to promotions or increased pay in the workplace, with more than a third (35%) saying that they had experienced the entitlement gap themselves or had seen it experienced by others</em></strong>.</p>



<p>In addition, men admitted negotiating pay for a new role more often than women (63% compared to 40%), and while nearly half of the men (48%) said they had asked for a pay increase or promotion outside of their annual review, only a third of women (32%) had done the same. And when it comes to applying for a new job, over a third of men (37%) said they would apply for a new role even if they felt that they met approximately 50% of the criteria required, versus just one in four (27%) women admitting to being “brave enough to do so”.</p>



<p>Dr Apter has said that this entitlement gap effects women’s mental health, in two important ways –</p>



<p>1. anxious energy and constant reflection that goes with knowing that you deserve more status or higher pay or better conditions while wondering whether you really do (imposter syndrome to the max), and</p>



<p>2. the risk that the unentitled mindset doesn’t switch off even when you are not facing the specific challenge that activated it.</p>



<p>Leading to women, who have been treated badly in one workplace, being reluctant to ask for the status and/or pay they deserve when being offered a position in another workplace. Why? Because instead of owning their value and worth, they feel ‘grateful’ or ‘lucky’ that another company is <em>even interested in them</em>. It’s like having <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/battered-woman-syndrome" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">battered wife syndrome</a> &#8211; where women who have suffered from abuse start to believe that that’s all they deserve and lose sense of their self-worth and self-value.</p>



<p>Although the entitlement gap impacts our behaviour, the study is keen to highlight that this mindset is not the fault of women – instead, <em>it’s the product of a wider societal problem and the only way to solve this gap is to make society-wide changes</em>.</p>



<p><strong><em></em></strong>But that is easier said than done. And just like from the SJP movie, you begin to ask yourself &#8211; <strong><em>How do you keep your life together, without losing it?</em></strong></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But women leaders have so much to offer…</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries2.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2692"/></figure>



<p>Again, we want to reiterate that we are not just <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10760207/woke-meaning-definition/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">woke</a> women who are gender bashing our male counterparts without rhyme or reason. We are not just <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/computer-science/liberal-feminist" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">liberal feminists</a> who believe that women are superior to men. No. We believe that women and men are equal. And should be treated accordingly. Both sexes have their own benefits that they bring to the table. Equally important. But not always the same. And we believe that there is space for both sexes in every company.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Why we need more women leaders in the workplace</em></strong></h2>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color"><strong>(Not that this should need explanation, but) <em>Here’s why –</em></strong></p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em><u><a href="https://hbr.org/2019/06/research-women-score-higher-than-men-in-most-leadership-skills" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Harvard Business Review</a></u> (HBR) &#8211; Women in leadership positions are perceived as being every bit as effective as men.</em></strong></h3>



<p>According to the HBR, in an analysis of thousands of assessments, women were rated as excelling in taking initiative, acting with resilience, practicing self-development, driving for results, and displaying high integrity and honesty. In fact, they were thought to be more effective in 84% of the competencies that we most frequently measure. The conclusion? Women are equally as effective as men.</p>



<p>I do sense a communal “Duh” moment here….</p>



<p>But the HBR research also echoed that of the Entitlement Gap survey &#8211; when women were asked to assess themselves, despite their aptitude and ability to do the job, they are not generous in their own ratings. In fact, they have lower scores than men on confidence ratings, especially when they’re under 25.</p>



<p><em></em>But what the HBR research concludes (something we already know) is that it is not a woman’s lack of skill, understanding, capability or competence that holds them back. <em>It is the scarcity of opportunities.</em></p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em><u><a href="https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/7-reasons-want-women-workplace/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Centre for Creative Leadership</a></u> (CFCL) &#8211; Gender diversity is key for organisations’ bottom lines</em></strong></h3>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2693"/></figure>



<p>To further this point, the CFCL has concluded that companies that don’t realise the importance of women in the workplace are missing out. Besides doubling their talent pool, more women may also improve a company’s performance.</p>



<p>The CFCL research showed that gender diversity was key for organisations’ bottom lines:</p>



<p><em>1. “Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women on boards financially outperform companies with the lowest representation of women on boards.</em></p>



<p><em>2. Gender-diverse teams have higher sales and profits compared to male-dominated teams.</em></p>



<p><em>3. A recent Gallup study found that gender-diverse business units have higher average revenue than less diverse business units”.</em></p>



<p>But it doesn’t end there.</p>



<p>The CFCL also found that having a higher percentage of women in an organisation reflected &#8211;</p>



<p>1. More job satisfaction;</p>



<p>2. More organizational dedication;</p>



<p>3. More meaningful work;</p>



<p>4. Less burnout, and</p>



<p>5. Positively affecting employee engagement and retention.</p>



<p>Specifically, when asked why they stay with their current employer, people from organisations with a high percentage of women were more likely to cite positive and meaningful organisational culture, including having a job that fits well with other areas of their life, opportunities for them to make a difference with employees claiming that under female leaders they are just able to enjoy their work more.</p>



<p><em>Simple as that!</em></p>



<p>In addition, senior-level women are more likely than senior-level men to embrace employee-friendly policies and programs and to champion racial and gender diversity (more than 50 % of senior-level women say they consistently take a public stand for gender and racial equity at work, compared with only about 40% of senior-level men).</p>



<p>And these findings persisted regardless of the participants’ age, industry, organisation size, leadership level, ethnicity or gender.</p>



<p>Women are also more likely to mentor and support other women (38% of senior-level women currently mentor or sponsor one or more women of colour, compared with only 23% of senior-level men). And that is hugely important – <strong><em>women have got to help other women!</em></strong></p>



<p>It comes down to the personal approach that women just seem to have. Treating their co-workers and employees like people instead of machines. It’s about caring. And that makes all the difference.</p>



<p>So whilst we agree that women are not superior to men, we do believe that we bring something (very) special to the table…..</p>



<p>And the results really do speak for themselves.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But…. There is <u>always</u> a but.</em></strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries6.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2696"/></figure>



<p>Whilst studies prove that women are not only competent to do the work but are also very competent leaders, women still turn down leadership opportunities because they are uniquely concerned that their qualifications will not stand up to their male counterparts and are not sure that others in the organisation will support them. Instead, they express concern that they were being set up for failure – the so-called <em>“glass cliff”</em> positions where leadership opportunities are high stakes, precarious, and have a high likelihood of failure (we will discuss this in our <strong><em>upcoming article</em></strong> – so watch this space!).</p>



<p>Unfortunately, research conducted by the <a href="https://hbr.org/2017/10/research-objective-performance-metrics-are-not-enough-to-overcome-gender-bias" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Harvard Business Review</a> suggests that these concerns among women are valid. Studies show that organizations expect women to be more qualified than men for the same positions, and that <a href="https://hbr.org/2012/11/study-women-get-fewer-game-changing.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leadership opportunities for men often come with more resources</a> compared to women’s leadership opportunities.</p>



<p><em></em>Given the above, it is not surprising that many women (in general) have said that the single most important thing companies <em>can do to attract and retain talented women is to admonish sexism and offer gender parity in pay, experiences, and opportunities for success.</em></p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It doesn’t seem like a big ask. Does it?</em></strong></h2>



<p>But there just seems to be a disconnect with just not enough women in real leadership roles. And leaders have got to start taking a long hard look at what gets in the way of promoting women in their organisations. Clearly, there is an unconscious bias (both by women caused by societal ideas of the broken rung and entitlement gap as well as the subliminal bias of their male counterparts) that women don’t belong in senior level positions. So, it’s imperative that companies change the way they make hiring and promotion decisions and ensure that eligible women are given serious consideration. Not just given lip-service.</p>



<p>Following her presentation at the 3rd Annual Women in Insurance Conference, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-jordan-b3065931/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Carla Jordan</a> Chief Financial Officer of <a href="https://emeraldsa.co.za/emerald-africa/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Emerald Africa</a> has this to say about Female Leaders in the Workplace &#8211;</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“As a women leader in business, I know first-hand that the road to success is a little bit more winding, with barriers and challenges along the way that perhaps our male counterparts never encounter or even know exist. I also know that you cannot let these things define you or stand in your way. With global gender equality estimated to take another 100 years or more, we certainly cannot sit on the sidelines and wait for the world to change and for opportunities to come to us. As women, we need to be more confident in ourselves and our abilities, and lead the change that we want for ourselves and future generations”.</em></p></blockquote>



<p>And it is on this point that we undoubtedly agree – we need to be more confident, we need to speak up for ourselves and what we want. And in order to get those things, we need to lead the change that we want for ourselves and for the future generations of women that will follow in our footsteps.</p>



<p>And that can only be done with action leading to positive change.</p>



<p><em></em>Can you say – <em>“One giant leap for woman kind”?</em></p>



<p><strong><em>And we know we can do it!</em></strong></p>



<p>In our next article we will be highlighting some incredible female role models and discuss how we can break-through in the workplace. Stay tuned!</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure>



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<p>About the writer,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Click here to visit&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/">FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>Who are you? A lawyer or so much more?</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Mar 2021 10:59:43 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2560</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>If I were to ask you to describe yourself, what would you say?<br />
My guess is that the phrase "I'm a lawyer" would be one of the first things that slip out of your mouth.  For lawyers, the lawyer identity is so intrinsic to us that we often forget who else we truly are. Are you ready to find out?</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/">Who are you? A lawyer or so much more?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5>



<p></p>



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<p><strong>Who are you?</strong></p>



<p>A seemingly innocuous question.</p>



<p><em>“Hi. I’m Alicia. And I’m a lawyer.”</em></p>



<p>I am a lawyer. And that is it. Nothing else to let anyone know who we <em>truly are</em>. Besides our professional title.</p>



<p>Where are our other identifiers?</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Our identity as a lawyer </strong></h2>



<p>Is our whole identity just that – a lawyer? Does that really describe who we are at the core? Where did all the rest of our personality, interests and roles in the world disappear to? And why do we choose our professional title as our soul identifier?</p>



<p>Perhaps it is society’s interpretation of the title of “lawyer”? Being a lawyer seems to signify to the world that we slot into a respectable bubble. Without the need for further explanation or introduction. People <em>assume</em> that we are wealthy, have a big home, go on holiday to exotic locations. That we are intelligent, hardworking or more accurately, workaholics, who bring home big salaries and have no social lives outside of the office. Stereotypical. Sometimes unfair. And we are expected to act in this scripted behavior pattern. Even if it is not us.</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-sora-shimazaki-5673501-edited-1.jpg" alt="lawyer identity" class="wp-image-2600" width="821" height="513"/><figcaption><em>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@sora-shimazaki?utm_content=attributionCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=pexels">Sora Shimazaki</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/serious-businesswoman-hurrying-with-documents-from-courthouse-5673501/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></em></figcaption></figure></div>



<p>But in a lot of instances, saying that we are lawyers can be comforting – we work hard for the title, for the recognition. For the respect. We have earned our <em>“stars and stripes”.</em> Even if the perception of “who a lawyer is” is not entirely accurate. Or fair.</p>



<p>Aren’t we more than <em>just </em>“lawyers”?</p>



<p>And how does this limited definition of <em>who we are</em> affect us – by solely identifying ourselves as lawyers? What do we lose as a result? What does this <em>persona</em> prevent us from being? From doing? It is limiting. Unfairly so. Because we are so much more than just lawyers. We are more than our titles and our jobs. We are multifaceted human beings with varying interests and hobbies.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Who we are extends beyond how we earn our living. Even if we love how we do it.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Losing our full identity – becoming an imposter</strong></h2>



<p>Being an imposter (not to be confused with imposter syndrome) means exactly what you think it does. By relying on other people’s perceptions of ourselves (whether it be our partners, family, friends or colleagues. Even strangers), we become imposters in our own lives &#8211;&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>Mirroring what other people expect from us</em>.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Instead of doing what we want to be doing, being who we want to be. <em>Who we ought to be</em>.</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-tasha-kamrowski-987627-edited-1.jpg" alt="Mirroring what other people expect from us | lawyers" class="wp-image-2601" width="809" height="505"/><figcaption><em>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@kamrowskiphotography?utm_content=attributionCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=pexels">Tasha Kamrowski</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-holding-mirror-against-her-head-in-the-middle-of-forest-987627/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></em></figcaption></figure></div>



<p>This “mirroring”, for a lot of us, results in a level of <em>“stuckness”</em> that is seemingly impossible to dig our way out of. I know <em>stuckness</em> is not a word. But it describes the feeling of being so stuck in the grit and slime of it all – <em>the all</em> that is everyone else’s ideals, ideas, assumptions and perceptions that we cannot see the forest for the trees.</p>



<p>Can you feel the weight of it? The <em>stuckness</em>, the stickiness. Like dirt and grime under your fingernails that you just cannot get clean, no matter how hard you scrub…</p>



<p>Your daily reminder of <em>the something</em> that is “there” but seemingly just beyond our reach. Mainly because we are walking around with blinders on. Not focused on our prize or goals. At least, not the ones we set for ourselves. These blinders are everyone else’s expectations, fears, hopes and dreams.</p>



<p>And the weight just gets heavier. The <em>stuckness</em>, the stickiness just becomes gooier.&nbsp;</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>My experience – losing myself to the lawyer</strong></h2>



<p>I can relate. These are not the rantings of a deranged mind. But a free one. One that has been through the “changing”.&nbsp;</p>



<p>I recall stumbling into law school because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to be. But my parents were. I recall stumbling from first year to final year, on to articles and the bar exam. All because other people knew I should. I recall again stumbling from one legal role to another, all because I was good at what I did (for the most part). Recruiters believed in me. My bosses believed in me (for the most part) and my family was so proud of me.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>I was the first lawyer in the family you</em> <em>know</em>.&nbsp;</p>



<p>And everyone else’s pride, everyone else’s belief in me, their “support” led me to believe that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<p>This belief and pride (while wonderful) became my blinders. Created my own <em>stuckness</em>.</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1179" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/2-edited.jpg" alt="overworked lawyer" class="wp-image-2603"/></figure></div>



<p>And it certainly didn’t help that these blinders were further blackened by the fact that with the roles and “accomplishments”, the salaries got bigger, the house moved to a fancier neighbourhood, my car became faster. <strong>I was fulfilling the scripted role expected of</strong> <strong>me.</strong>&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>The stuckness</em> that started to emulsify and gurgle under my feet.</p>



<p>I wanted to join a yoga class but I simply couldn’t find the time. I wanted to comment on Facebook but it was “unbecoming of someone in my position” &#8211; I was representing clients, my company. And not myself. I couldn’t say <em>that</em>. I did not have my own opinions anymore. And that was stifling. For me at least. I wanted to join an art class but they were usually after hours and during the week. I honestly didn’t know what the meaning of “after hours” was. I was always on call and always available.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Even the “empty” hours at the very end of my day were filled with feelings of guilt for not actually finishing the work I should have finished before leaving at 10pm that night. Guilt that was further fueled by the shame I felt for not taking proper care of my body. Guilt that was further fueled by not spending more quality time with my husband. I was tired. No, exhausted. And felt so guilty.</p>



<p>Exhausted and guilty because my worth, my measure of who <em>I was</em>, was someone else’s measure. It was someone else’s yardstick and someone else’s opinion. Because it was assumed.</p>



<p>And that was no longer enough.&nbsp;</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>The changling – The lawyer and so much more</strong></h2>



<p>Looking in the mirror one day, the person looking back at me had changed. It was subtle at first. But instead of going to bed every night racked with guilt for so many reasons<em>, I started to think about all the other things in life that I was missing out on</em>. The yoga class, the art class, the weekend away with my husband. Planning an overseas trip. Going to the spa. Seemingly every day things. But not ones I dared imagine. <em>Before the change</em>.&nbsp;</p>



<p>And by slowly changing how I felt about the world around me, I also started to recognize everything I now wanted to do. And I started to look different. Happier. More determined to build the life I wanted to live.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>More determined to define </em><strong><em>Who I was</em></strong><em>. By my own measures. Lawyer as well as everything else that makes up who I am.&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>I started to admit that there was something amiss in my life. I started to admit that I was not doing what I wanted to be doing. That I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. That I wasn’t defining who I was, to my core. And I started to change.&nbsp;</p>



<p>I had become a <em>changling</em>.&nbsp;</p>



<p>As an adolescent I dreamt of being centre stage citing famous lines from the likes of Tennessee Williams, Peter Shaffer and Ben Elton. Maybe not on Broadway. Off Broadway was good enough. I dreamt of being able to express myself, without the wrath of other people’s disapproval – <em>you’re a lawyer, you can’t say that</em>. <em>Can’t be that</em>.&nbsp;</p>



<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1179" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/3-edited.jpg" alt="lawyer on stage" class="wp-image-2604"/></figure></div>



<p><em>I dreamt of words. Big words. Of feelings and expressions. All Big. Big. Big. </em><strong><em>But my own Big.</em></strong><em>&nbsp;</em></p>



<p>And I wanted to do that. To be that. To describe that, in my words.</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Becoming more than just a lawyer</strong></h2>



<p>It is a sacrifice.</p>



<p>It was never going to come easy. Change never does. And it never happens overnight.&nbsp;</p>



<p>I think that is one of the failings of wanting to make a change – this immediate gratification that we have seemingly developed. We think it will happen immediately. Like I have made the decision now everything must be different. But this just isn’t reality. Unfortunately.&nbsp;</p>



<p>With change sometimes (often times) comes sacrifice.&nbsp;</p>



<p>In order to live the life we want, to be doing the things we want to be doing. By defining ourselves by our own measures, <strong><em>one has to make a plan</em></strong>. One needs to make sacrifices. And that’s ok. Trust me. It can be done.</p>



<p>This often involves reaching out to professional coaches such as Frieda Levycky of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> who is able to listen to your feelings, to your fears. Who understands and empathises. And who can help you determine what steps you should take to make your dreams a reality. It is a process. But a worthwhile one.</p>



<p><strong><em>But it can (and should) be done.</em></strong></p>



<p>I may not be famous like Tennessee Williams or as controversial as Ben Elton. I haven’t written epic plays like Equus. But I have been to Broadway (I was in the audience), I have visited Tennessee, I stayed in the <a href="https://wgno.com/news/where-in-new-orleans-did-tennessee-williams-write-a-streetcar-named-desire/#:~:text=Tennessee%20Williams%20wrote%20%E2%80%9CA%20Streetcar,Charles%20Avenue.">hotel in New Orleans</a> where Tennessee Williams wrote <em>“A streetcar named Desire”</em>, I am able to enjoy a yoga class every Monday morning and a night cap with my hubby (almost) every evening – this is a no judgement zone.&nbsp;</p>



<p>And (most importantly) I get to write to my heart’s content every single day. I have defined who I am, without the need for the script, expectation or anyone else’s assumptions.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>I am a lawyer and so much more.&nbsp;</em></p>



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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="630" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-774866-edited-1.jpg" alt="happy lawyer" class="wp-image-2605"/><figcaption><em>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@olly?utm_content=attributionCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=pexels">Andrea Piacquadio</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-looking-at-the-mirror-774866/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></em></figcaption></figure></div>



<p>And my hope is that the next time I am asked the question – <em>Who are you? &#8211;</em> I can simply say–&nbsp;</p>



<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>I am Alicia, wife to an amazing man, mother to four cats (not dragons), lover of words, poetry, art and travel &#8211; a renaissance woman in the making. A whisky drinker and wine appreciator. Foodie. Someone who prefers </em><a href="https://genius.com/Jim-morrison-a-feast-of-friends-lyrics"><em>a feast of friends to the giant family</em></a><em>. Devotee of old music. Lawyer. </em><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist"><em>And The Legal Belletrist</em></a><em>.&nbsp;</em></p></blockquote>



<p>I am more than one thing! We all are.&nbsp;</p>



<p>And I feel that it is at this moment that the following immortal quote from Shakespeare is apt &#8211;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<p><em>“Above all –&nbsp;</em></p>



<p><em>To thine own self be true”</em></p>



<p></p>



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<p>About the writer,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Click here to visit&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/">Who are you? A lawyer or so much more?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>Service over Sales:  How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</title>
		<link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/</link>
					<comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Jan 2021 19:49:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment-copy/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you. There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales:  How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you.</p>



<p>Let’s be honest, when we became lawyers, either we believed in fairness and justice and wanted to change the world for the better or we wanted to earn lots of money (or maybe a bit of both). But, unless our parents were in the law, we had very little understanding of what the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> really was about or what it entailed. Never did we consider that, as we climbed the corporate ladder, we would have to manage people (clients and teams alike), run a business, or actually go out and sell our services! <em><strong>Where is the law in that?</strong></em></p>



<p>The reality is that once we have reached the level of Partner or (if we have decided to step out on our own) Freelancer, Consultant or Sole Practitioner, until we have our client base established, our day-to-day job becomes less about law and more about marketing and business development. We have entered the world of entrepreneurialism or solopreneurialism – and I can tell you now – that’s not a particularly comfortable place for most lawyers.</p>



<p>So, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why we, as lawyers, have such an in-built resistance to selling our services and explore some ideas of how to improve our attitude towards marketing ourselves.</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-energepiccom-313690-e1611435063713.jpg" alt=""/></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="but-we-are-lawyers-not-marketers">But we are lawyers not marketers!</h3>



<p>Business development is not something which we are taught in law school or during our LPC or our early years as an Associate. In fact, for many lawyers, business development is not a skill we are taught at all. And yet, from an early stage in our careers as lawyers, the “business development” criteria is a firm fixture on our appraisal forms. And it only increases in importance the higher up the corporate ladder we climb.</p>



<p>For some, business development skills come naturally. But, for most, the thought of having to sell ourselves and our services without the requisite skillset to do so, causes overwhelming bouts of anxiety and stress – more so than we would care to admit.&nbsp;</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/cheat-sheet-9-tips-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="770" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Optin-graphic.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2418"/></a></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-introduction-to-business-development">My introduction to business development</h3>



<p>My first introduction to the world of business development was through “<i>client drinks</i>”. When I was a mid-level Associate in Singapore, client entertainment was a big thing. We had some brilliant Partners who were incredible at business development – Nick Merritt, Laurie Pearson and Nicky Davies to name but a few. Business development, seemingly, came so naturally to them: they could talk to anyone at any level in the organisation. And people indeed were drawn towards them. It was actually quite mesmerising to watch.</p>



<p>Now, you would think that business development and client entertainment would come pretty naturally to me. On the outside, I have a relatively extroverted personality. I am a chatterbox. I enjoy going out for drinks with friends. I’ll happily make a fool of myself to make others feel more comfortable. I’m a good listener and people generally like me (though there are a few exceptions). But, when it comes to people I don’t know, or people I have placed on a pedestal, or people who I am supposed to impress, or people I am indirectly selling to – my introvert appears, and I want to run for the hills.</p>



<p>So when, one afternoon, we were reminded that we had to attend drinks with HSBC (a Key Client) that evening and all the top tier executives would be there, my heart sank. That all-too-familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach had reappeared. Ugh! I hated client drinks.</p>



<p>Immediately, a whole host of doubts and negative beliefs popped into my head:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Who’s going to want to speak to me? I’m only a junior associate!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about finance. I’m going to come across as a right nit-wit!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about what HSBC is doing. I’m going to embarrass myself and be a terrible reflection on the firm!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I haven’t read the news this week! I can’t even talk about world events!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Am I dressed ok for client drinks?</li></ul>



<p>To be fair, in Singapore, I could have worn anything to client drinks and it would have been acceptable, but still, all of these doubts raced through my mind and I could feel the nerves building, a dry throat forming and foggy-headedness appearing. By 2pm, I’d already created a mountain of self-made obstacles to overcome, and the drinks hadn’t even started!</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="why-lawyers-fear-hate-business-development">Why lawyers fear / hate business development</h3>



<p>I’d like to say that my experience towards business development was unique, but the more friends I’ve spoken to and more clients I’ve coached around this issue, the more I realise how endemic the fear and anxiety around sales is in the industry.&nbsp;</p>



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<p><strong><i>But why?</i></strong> Aside from the lack of skills training when it comes to business development, what preconceived ideas about ourselves &#8211; and about sales in general &#8211; are we holding on to that make business development so uncomfortable for us?</p>



<ol class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>The car salesman stereotype</strong> – How many of you, when you hear the word “sales”, automatically picture a gelled-back, slick car salesman with his slippery and schmoozy chat, pushing you into purchasing the latest shiny model? Yes, it’s a stereotype, but it is a stereotype firmly entrenched in our brains. So when, as lawyers we are sent out into the world to bring in new business, we immediately feel like we are becoming someone that nobody likes or wants to engage with. Needless to say, we resist the association <strong><i>at all costs!!</i><i>&nbsp;</i></strong></li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I’m an introvert. I don’t like talking to people, never mind selling to them </strong>– It’s funny how when it comes to sales we assume that being an introvert is a negative thing. Surely you have to be gregarious, outgoing and buoyant to sell services. Well, let me ask you this: as an introvert, how do you like to be sold to? Is it the loud and brash character that is going to attract you? Or actually is it someone who is more humble with a well-thought-through offering? Someone who is like you?&nbsp;</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the experience – I’ve only been doing this for 2 years</strong> &#8211; There are varying versions of this theme: I don’t have the knowledge. I need to upskill. I need to train. I’ve only been doing this for [x] years. The point with experience though is that it only comes with practice. You have to start somewhere. You have to take that step into discomfort in order to practice and therefore improve.&nbsp;</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the brand name</strong> – This one is more for the entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who have stepped away from Big Law and the big marketing machine that goes with it. I often hear solo / small firm lawyers stating that they can’t get work because they don’t have the brand name supporting them. But what proof exists to support that theory? There are many a successful boutique firm and sole practitioner out there who have succeeded without a big name behind them – I include myself in that group. Rather than thinking about what you are lacking, consider how your individuality and size can actually work in your favour.</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>There are other people doing this that are better than me</strong><b> – </b>I call this <i>comparisonitis. </i>Comparison is a dangerous game. We get ourselves tied up in knots when we start comparing ourselves to peers in the industry and it prevents us from moving forwards. We see people succeeding because they have skills that we don’t have. The thing is, we compare ourselves (both our successes and our failures) only against other people’s successes (their public image). We give no merit to the fact that these people may have struggled and experienced similar fears as we have along the way.</li></ol>



<p>Before you’ve even begun contemplating seeking business, you have put 5 staggeringly tall hurdles in your own way. Is it any wonder that so many lawyers fear sales? It feels like one heck of a daunting mountain to climb.</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-lawyers-approach-business-development-with-a-healthier-mindset">So how can lawyers approach business development with a healthier mindset?</h3>



<p>There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started:</p>



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<p><strong>Build up your confidence:</strong> Whichever rung of the corporate ladder we are currently on, doing something new or something you haven’t practised for a while, tends to throw us into a bit of a confidence crisis. Business development is no exception.&nbsp;</p>



<p>In order to be successful in business development, you need to start believing that you can be successful. Fundamentally, YOU are your brand. And that requires some work on your confidence. When did you last sit down and consider:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What your strengths are?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What attracts you to people?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What experience you have?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What skills you have?</li></ul>



<p>I’m not just talking about in law. I’m talking about all the life experience that you can bring to the table. Business development is about so much more than the law. Remember, our experiences make us unique. No other lawyer in the world has the same life experiences as you do. How can you use these to your advantage?</p>
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<p><strong>Be You:</strong> Don’t mimic other people’s sales styles. Don’t try to be outgoing and funny if you have a more conservative and intellectual style. People are attracted to people who they can relate to and connect with. People who are genuine and trustworthy. It’s why the sleazy car salesman feels so objectionable. So, once you’ve built up your confidence – stand tall in those shoes – and just be who you are.</p>
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<p><strong>Stop thinking small:</strong> Clients may initially be attracted by a big brand name, but if the lawyer they end up working with is rude, incompetent or unresponsive (yes, they do exist in Big Law too), then a client will look elsewhere. Clients ultimately choose a law firm based on the lawyer(s), not the brand.</p>
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<p><strong>Have a plan of action:</strong> What are you looking to achieve from business development? Are you looking to start building your network and new relationships or are you looking to bring in new clients and build a practice? Whatever your goal, what ways are you looking to achieve that goal? Is it attending drinks events (or Zoom networking events as is the case now)? Is it identifying 10 target clients to nurture? Is it about getting your name out in the industry and using social media platforms (such as LinkedIn) to inform your audience about what you do? Is it a multi-pronged approach? Having a plan of action allows you to stay focused and avoids a haphazard, sporadic approach to business development.</p>
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<p><strong>Be consistent:</strong> Business development takes time because building trust in relationships takes time. As you put your plan into action, you may not see immediate results. It doesn’t mean that you should give up on your plan. Stay consistent with your approach. Give the plan time to produce the results you are looking for. Keep showing up.</p>
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<p><strong>Nurture your network:</strong> Your network is your greatest asset. If you nurture and support your network, they will return the favour. It requires some work on your part: making an effort to reach out and stay in touch; attending events they host, supporting articles that they write. But what it does is to cement those relationships. These are people that know you and can already vouch for your capability. And, if you nurture those relationships, they’ll turn to you when they need you or be willing to refer work to you in the future.</p>
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<p><strong>Be front of mind:&nbsp;</strong>Consider how you can keep yourself front of mind to potential clients after your first interaction. I’ve received calls out of the blue from potential clients based on a commodities bulletin I wrote and circulated a year previously. I’ve also had people call me because my photo on my business card triggered a memory about a conversation we had at a drinks event. Think of small and subtle ways that you can stay memorable to potential clients.</p>
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<p><strong>Switch the focus: </strong>Often our fears of business development arise because we are too focused on ourselves. How many of you spend your time worrying about what impression you are going to make or what people will think about you? Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s not all about you. Instead of focusing on you, switch the focus to the potential client. Think about why your services and working with you can benefit them. The reason you need to tell them about your services is so they know there is a good resource out there which can actually help them achieve their goals and ambitions. Switching the focus from selling to serving makes business development a heck of a lot more palatable.</p>
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<p><strong>Avoid the hard sell:&nbsp;</strong>There is nothing worse than coming to the end of a perfectly nice conversation with someone and they go in for the hard sell or ask why you haven’t sent any work over to them yet. All of that time you have spent relationship building dissipates in seconds. The whole conversation suddenly feels disingenuous and ends on a sour note. Business development isn’t about the hard sell – it’s about building a relationship over time. So, get to know your potential clients personally. Meet them socially. Listen to their needs. Talk about work so that you understand their business and they understand yours, but avoid the hard sell. Let the relationship do the work. When an opportunity arises in the future, it will allow the conversation (an offer to help) to flow much more naturally.&nbsp;</p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales:  How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>Dealing with disappointment</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2020 07:33:11 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>As stricter restrictions on movement and gathering are implemented around the globe, there is a real sense of disappointment as we head into the Festive Season. Read this short article on how to cope with the mix of emotions which are being experienced at present and find some tips to bring positivity back into the Festive Season.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/">Dealing with disappointment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3><strong>Disappointment: A feeling we hate to cause and struggle to feel.</strong></h3>
<p>And 2020 has provided many a chance to experience it from both sides.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<ul>
<li>Weddings postponed</li>
<li>Holiday plans abandoned</li>
<li>Sports events cancelled</li>
<li>New babies unvisited</li>
<li>Graduation celebrations thwarted</li>
<li>And now, for many countries, a strict lockdown over Christmas all together.</li>
</ul>
<p>The list goes on! COVID has really thrown us through the ringer this year!</p>
<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-480x267.jpg 480w" alt="Disappointment" width="810" height="450"></p>
<p>Our struggle with 2020 disappointment is that it feels unjustified – and many people are struggling to cope with the conflict of emotions they are experiencing.</p>
<p>Logically &#8211; we know that COVID is a very legitimate and real reason to cancel events. People are worried. We understand it. We acknowledge it. But, when things get cancelled, it doesn’t stop us feeling:</p>
<ul>
<li>angry</li>
<li>rejected</li>
<li>deflated</li>
<li>overwhelmed</li>
<li>sad</li>
<li>frustrated</li>
<li>annoyed</li>
</ul>
<p>… to name but a few. All feelings which are naturally triggered when we are faced with disappointment.</p>
<p><strong><em>And, do you know what, it’s ok to feel this way.</em></strong></p>
<p>Even though we understand the reasons, we are allowed to feel the effects. Money has been wasted. Children have shed tears. Images of perfect celebrations have been re-shaped. And there is a tonne of guilt (on many levels) going around as a result.</p>
<h3>How to deal with disappointment</h3>
<p>For those of you who are putting on a brave face, don’t let the emotions fester inside. You know it will only cause more pain in the long run. Instead:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<ul>
<li>Process the disappointment now</li>
<li>Acknowledge the feelings</li>
<li>Acknowledge the conflict between the feelings</li>
<li>Know that your feelings are justified</li>
<li>Gain perspective by speaking to friends and family</li>
<li>Talk it through with those that have been involved</li>
<li>And then, accept it for what it is and move on</li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>Adjusting to a Festive Season in lockdown</strong></h3>
<p>As many countries start to implement stricter measures on movement and gatherings over the Festive Season, there is a realisation that a traditional Christmas / Hannukah is not going to be possible this year. For many of us, it&#8217;s the second or third time we&#8217;ve adjusted holiday plans to cater for COVID risks.</p>
<p>There is a very real risk that we start to feel that the festivities has been cancelled completely this year.&nbsp;</p>
<p>It would be understandable to want to motor through the Festive Season and start a fresh in 2021.&nbsp;</p>
<p><em><strong>But, this year, more than any other,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/business/practice-management-d58/lawyers-on-leave/">taking a break</a> and making the most out of the Festive Season is vital to recharge, re-set and prepare for 2021.</strong></em></p>
<p>Whilst Christmas may not be the same as usual, it doesn’t mean it has to be a complete write-off. 2020 gives us a chance to mould and adapt our holiday traditions and try out something new this year. And you never know – there may actually be some new traditions created in the making.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Whether you are alone this Holiday Season or with a smaller family gathering, take a read of the previous article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">&#8220;How the Grinch stole Christmas &#8230; or did he?&#8221;</a> for <strong>14 festive tips</strong> to help you thrive (not just survive) the 2020 Festive Season and set you up for a great start to 2021.&nbsp;</p>
<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-1024x1024.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-300x300.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-150x150.jpg 150w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-768x768.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-500x500.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-800x800.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-980x980.jpg 980w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-480x480.jpg 480w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC.jpg 1080w" alt="How the Grinch stole Christmas ... or did he?" width="1024" height="1024"></p>
<h3>Wishing you and your loved ones a relaxing Festive Season and a smooth entry into 2021.</h3>
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		<title>How the grinch stole christmas &#8230; or did he?</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Dec 2020 07:00:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Ready for some 2020 Christmas fun? The Holiday Season is certainly feeling a little different this year, but let's not write it off just yet! There's a lot of fun to be had and things to be grateful for. Here are some tips and tricks to make the most of the Festive Season!</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">How the grinch stole christmas &#8230; or did he?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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<h6 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Co-written by Frieda Levycky, Founder of <a href="http://www.bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>, and Alicia Koch, Founder of <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a>&nbsp;</em></h6>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">&#8220;Holiday who-be what-ee?&#8221;</h3>



<p>Exactly that – <em>who-be, what-ee</em>, is it really Christmas time?</p>



<p>At the best of times, Christmas is an emotional time of year! But this Holiday Season feels particularly glum. &nbsp;</p>



<p>The Grinch feels like he has very much taken up residence in our homes, in place of the festive “Elf on the Shelf”. Eying out our tree decorating and Menorah lighting with smug cynicism.</p>



<p>Some of us even seem to be mimicking the Grinch’s holiday “cheer”: <em>&#8220;Blast this Christmas music! It&#8217;s joyful and triumphant.&#8221;</em></p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">The most emotional time of the year!</h3>



<p>For some of us, the Holiday Season is a time of happiness and connection: family gatherings, long overdue catch ups with friends, end of year drinks, sneaky kisses under the mistletoe, Christmas pantos, the annual trip to the ice rink, shopping at the Christmas markets, all those tasty treats (mince pies, gingerbread, mugs of glühwein and a good old Terry’s Chocolate Orange), and all the smells that the festivities bring (cinnamon, nutmeg, roasted chestnuts, mmmm!).</p>



<p>There is an excitement in the air; an anticipation; a playfulness.</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/elf-mince-pies.jpg" alt="Elf on the Shelf"/></figure>



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<p>For others, the Holiday Season triggers a lot more trepidation than excited anticipation. The annual family feud, the confusion over choosing gifts, heightened stress-levels as the in-laws rock up and immediately comment on the dust on the mantlepiece (rather than the beauty of the 6-course meal painstakingly prepared over the last 24 hours) … you know the family. You know the drill!</p>



<p>But, for once, even those that usually have a spring in their step as Santa’s pending arrival draws near, are feeling the dark cloud cloaking the 2020 Holiday Season.</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Exit left Santa!</h3>



<p>This week alone, I’ve heard countless stories of:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li>friends cancelling large family Christmases in order to protect older family members</li><li>the loneliness of expats who are not able to get home for their annual family catch-up</li><li>the disappointment as the annual New Year ski trips are abandoned</li><li>elderly family members not being allowed out of nursing homes for safety reasons</li><li>hopes of re-connection dashed as office parties are scratched</li><li>even the Christmas carol concerts have taken a back seat this year</li></ul>



<p>Excitement, joy, fun, sparkle, glitter and celebration seem to have been lost from the human vocabulary. Exit left Santa. The Grinch is taking the leading role in this year’s Christmas panto!</p>



<p><strong><em>OH NO HE ISN&#8217;T! OH YES HE IS!</em></strong></p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/33.jpg" alt="How the Grinch stole Christmas"/></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading">Adapting to a Christmas in lockdown</h3>



<p>Ok, it’s a given, Christmas is looking and feeling a little different this year. A year of COVID confinement and restriction has resulted in fun and frivolity being replaced with feelings of boredom, anger, disappointment, loneliness and exhaustion.</p>



<p>The Grinch tip-toeing merrily behind you gleefully chanting: <em>“One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri”. </em></p>



<p><em>Well at least he’s happy&#8230;!</em></p>



<p>And it would be understandable to want to motor through the Holiday Season and start a fresh in 2021. Where is the nitrous when you need it (Fast and Furious scenes springing to mind)?</p>



<p><em><strong>But, this year, more than any other, <a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/business/practice-management-d58/lawyers-on-leave/">taking a break</a> and making the most out of the Holiday Season is vital to recharge, re-set and prepare for 2021.</strong> </em></p>



<p>The reality is, COVID ain’t going anywhere (at least not any time soon – come on vaccine), so let’s use the Holiday Season wisely.</p>



<p>Whilst Christmas may not be the same as usual, it doesn’t mean it has to be a complete write-off. 2020 gives us a chance to shake things up a bit. A chance to mould and adapt our Christmas traditions and try out something new this year. And you never know – there may actually be some new traditions created in the making. And that’s a good thing!</p>



<p>So, for one last time, let’s say out loud 2020’s phrase of the year: <em><strong>“Let’s pivot!”</strong></em> (Eish! That phrase is getting well and truly left behind once this year is over!)</p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/christmas-down-time.jpg" alt="Christmas down time"/></figure>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>14 tips to help you thrive (not just survive) the pinch of the Grinch!</strong></h3>



<p>We all love a good sing-a-long, or, if we don’t, we at least know how songs (and more importantly the lyrics) can affect our mood. So, with this in mind, here are <strong>14 festive song-themed tips</strong> to help you thrive (not just survive) the 2020 Holiday Season and set you up for a great start to 2021.</p>



<p>And whilst you’re at it – in true festive style &#8211; why not turn it into a game and try and guess the songs and singers too!</p>



<p>Bear with me, some lateral thinking and artistic licence may be required here <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p>



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<figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/14-tips-to-help-you-thrive-not-just-survive-the-holiday-season.jpg" alt="14 tips to help you thrive (not just survive) the holiday season"/></figure>



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<p><strong><em>“Do you wanna build a snowman?”</em></strong></p>



<p>You should never lose your childish enthusiasm or sense of wonder. Ever. Especially during the Holiday Season. And especially in 2020. Get creative, use your imagination and try your hand at <em>making gifts</em> for family and friends. Not only does this help you think outside the box but it also helps you tap into your creative side – perhaps a side of you that has been neglected during 2020’s stressful times. How about a family board game? Or love vouchers for your partner?</p>
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<p><strong><em>“[Not] driving home for Christmas”</em></strong></p>



<p>2020 will undoubtedly come with some of its own benefits. Like not having to race around this Holiday Season. Not having to attend party after party. Not having to visit each and every family member or friend. Not having that obligation (which seems harsh but is sometimes true) of <em>“being on form”</em> – being jovial, telling jokes and being unrealistically optimistic. It may be tradition but geez it’s exhausting and is usually fuelled with arguments. This year you get to plan your own festivities – on your own terms. Stay in your pyjamas if you want to. Get your kids to each organise a day of activities. Do it your way – not the way it <em>“should”</em> be (whatever that means).</p>
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<p><strong><em><strong><em>“Feed the world! Let them know it’s Christmas time.”</em></strong></em></strong></p>



<p>Be grateful for what you have. We may all be struggling this year, but for many, our Holiday Season struggles are a far cry from the <em>daily</em> struggles of others. There are some incredible organisations out there trying to make this Holiday Season a little bit brighter and happier for those that have so little. With restrictions imposed on volunteering this year, consider donating a small amount to soup kitchens, such as the ROKPA soup kitchen (<a href="https://www.rokpa.org/en/what-we-do/africa/south-africa/soup-kitchen.html">https://www.rokpa.org/en/what-we-do/africa/south-africa/soup-kitchen.html</a>). You can also support the amazing organisation Food Forward SA (<a href="https://foodforwardsa.org/">https://foodforwardsa.org/</a>) where with a donation of R255 you can feed one person a day for a whole year; OR pack a shoebox for Santa so he can distribute personalised essential items and treats to underprivileged children throughout South Africa and Namibia (<a href="https://santashoebox.org.za/">https://santashoebox.org.za/</a>).<br>Giving back not only humbles us but it makes us so thankful to have what we have. As modest as that may be.</p>
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<p><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em>“Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away.”</em></strong>&nbsp;</em></strong></em></strong></p>



<p>Oooh the awkward Christmas Party with cheap drinks, bad hang-overs and cringe worthy distant memories of singing out of tune during Karaoke sing-a-longs (cue <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp0zyiJPrGk">Bridget Jones</a>)! Kissing underneath the mistletoe with your friends <em>“fix-me-up”</em> distant cousin (we have all been there in some way or another) – no thanks! At least this year, you can skip those (un)pleasantries and watch Bridget Jones for the umpteenth time instead (laugh at her totally embarrassing moments instead).</p>
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<p><strong><em>“Voices singing, let&#8217;s be jolly”</em></strong></p>



<p>Take some time to look back on the things you have actually been grateful for this year. Being grateful and happy about the small things will help you look forward to the bigger things with optimism and hope. No one is saying, <em>be jolly for the sake of being jolly</em>. But what we <em>are</em> saying is this &#8211; look back on your year realising that some of the little moments, like simply being able to sit with your kids whilst they play “tea party” or just being able to indulge in an episode of “New Girl” during your lunch break (whilst working remotely) were pretty great things. Don’t forget the small precious moments that have made your year possibly better than you initially thought. &nbsp;</p>
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<p><strong><em>“Everybody spread the word, we&#8217;re gonna have a celebration”</em></strong></p>



<p>And whilst you are thinking about what you’re grateful for, also reflect back and think about what you’ve accomplished in 2020, even if it is small. Remember all you have overcome, even if it is only a start. Be proud of making it through, even if it is only by the skin of your teeth. Because truth be told, it is the reality for many of us. And know this &#8211; you can (and must) celebrate you!</p>
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<p><strong><em>“I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need.”</em></strong></p>



<p>Just one thing. This year is certainly going to be a little tighter on the purse strings. As salaries have been lowered, bonuses foregone, businesses disrupted, down payments on weddings, parties and office celebrations lost, money concerns have been at the forefront of everyone’s mind. So let’s not add Christmas presents to the worry list. There’s a lot more to Christmas than giving and receiving presents and maybe this is the year to apply office giving logic to our family Christmases. Why not opt for a Secret Santa instead? Everyone coming for Christmas buys one present either for a lucky dip or for a specific person. Even the kids. They understand that this year’s different, so why not still make it fun?</p>
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<p><strong><em>“And His shelter was a stable. And His cradle was a stall”</em></strong></p>



<p>So yes, our usual Christmas traditions may be out of the window this year – what with Christingle services cancelled, children’s nativity plays postponed and travel restricted (etc. <em>ad nauseam</em>) but there are some really innovative and creative twists on usual traditions this year. For example you can <a href="https://www.therock.org/nativity/">drive through</a> real life nativity plays, join fun <a href="https://spectacularpubquizzes.com/">virtual</a> quizzes, <a href="https://www.houseandgarden.co.uk/article/online-carol-concerts-2020">online</a> carol concerts and roof top concerts. There are endless opportunities to still make this Holiday Season one to remember. Best of all, you can attend all these events in your pyjamas – which is a real plus for us! And your furry family can join along too. Bonus!</p>
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<p><strong><em>“The boys of the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay. And the bells were ringing out for Christmas day”</em></strong></p>



<p>Whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, or maybe you don’t celebrate anything specific at all, the Holiday Season is a time for rejoicing. It is a time when twinkly lights are up, where there is tinsel around trees and <a href="https://stories.starbucks.com/press/2020/savor-the-flavors-of-starbucks-holiday-food-and-beverages/">Starbucks brings out their eggnog latte</a>. It is a time to look at the world through red and green tinted glasses. Perhaps with some hope? Perhaps with a smile? Perhaps with a dash of optimism? And if none of those things gets you singing ‘<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifzaff5woBA">Rudolph the red nose Reindeer”</a>, perhaps a slice of pumpkin pie from <a href="https://sweetteachickadee.co.za/">Sweet Tea and Chikadee</a> or a bite of a fruit mince pie (a favourite) may lift the spirits. Perhaps just for a few days you can forget the scales? Indulge a little and get back on the treadmill once the festivities have stopped. If you can’t indulge now (and on your Birthday), when can you? For <em>“The bells were ringing out for Christmas Day!”</em></p>
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<p><strong><em>“</em></strong><strong><em>The word is out. About the town. So lift a glass. Ahh, don&#8217;t look down”</em></strong></p>



<p>The world may not be about the town and “lifting a glass” alone may seem mournful. But now is not the time to let COVID take away our gaiety! So lift your darn glass, pop your champagne (there are non-alcoholic versions) and cheers to the year that gave us perspective. Cheers to the year that has made us think about our futures. Cheers to the year that gave us time to reflect on the truly important things. It may have been tough. But it has not all been bad. So don’t look down &#8211; look up! Look forward. And rejoice in that.&nbsp;</p>
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<p><strong><em>“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn'&#8221;</em></strong></p>



<p>2021 is around the corner – a brand new year. A brand new start. Rather than panicking your way into the new year with promises of 5 days a week at the gym and dropping a stone by the end of January, take the festive break to <em>really think about who you want to be a year from now</em>. What are you doing? How are you feeling? <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/">What do you want your life to look like?</a> &nbsp;Then think of one tiny step you can take to help you get there. Get some inspiration by listening to the latest episode of the <strong>Lawyer Life Experiment Podcast:</strong> <a href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/1516372/episodes">New Year Resolutions that work!</a></p>



<p>If transition is on the cards for you for 2021 and you need some support in putting your plan into action: book yourself a Basic Balance session with <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me-individuals/">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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<p>“<strong><em>Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”</em></strong></p>



<p>We may not be able to be with our loved ones this year. And that sucks. Dinners and lunches may very well be small but also intimate. And just because you can’t be with your loved ones physically, doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate with them remotely. With Zoom, Skype and social media we can still have our family sing-a-longs, quizzes and well wishes from afar. So whilst you cannot hug, you can still blow kisses online. Don’t underestimate what that can do….</p>



<p>Also, this may be the perfect time to invite over (remembering to keep gatherings small), friends that have no family to celebrate with. Make up your own “family gathering” and bring a smile to someone’s face who may have been home alone this Holiday Season. Small gestures of kindness and inclusion can change everything for someone who has been dreading loneliness on Christmas.&nbsp;</p>
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<p><strong><em>“You Make It Feel Like Christmas”</em></strong></p>



<p>Just like the song goes: <strong><em>“I want to thank the storm that brought the snow. </em><em>Thanks to the string of lights that make it glow. </em><em>But I wanna thank you, baby. </em><em>You make it feel like Christmas.”</em></strong></p>



<p>Remember to take some time out for your loved one. Take time out for your partner. As we head into the New Year, it is all too easy to simply take our partners for granted. 2020 has certainly tested relationships. It has sadly broken some couples up, but it has also made others stronger. If you (hopefully) fall into the latter category, take some time to simply show your gratitude and appreciation for the person you have by your side. Nothing fancy, a simple “I love you and appreciate you” will do. But do it!</p>
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<p><strong><em>&#8220;Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock</em></strong>”</p>



<p>And when all else fails, something we like to do, is turn up the tunes, pour some glühwein and rock and sing the night away. You know the saying – “<em>Dance like no one is watching and sing like no one is listening”</em>. And sometimes a good rock-a-thon shakes away the cobwebs, gets the adrenalin going and before you know it, you are lying on the floor panting away and laughing out loud! Go for it!</p>
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<h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>“I’m all toasty inside.”</strong><strong> – well, almost!</strong></h3>



<p>With a cup of hot chocolate and a marshmallow or two, it may be feeling a lot like Christmas to you…</p>



<p>So, it may not be the Holiday Season that we imagined, but with a dash of perspective and a sprinkle of creativity, we can certainly have a Holiday Season that we will enjoy … <em>we can curtail our inner Grinch and carry on with the show.</em></p>



<p>As the Grinch regales:</p>



<p><strong><em>“It came without ribbons. It came without tags.</em></strong></p>



<p><strong><em>It came without packages, boxes or bags.</em></strong></p>



<p><strong><em>Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before:</em></strong></p>



<p><strong><em>“Maybe Christmas” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store”.</em></strong></p>



<p><strong><em>“Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.”</em></strong></p>



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<p>About the Co-author,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Click here to visit&nbsp;<a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: [email protected]&nbsp;</strong></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">How the grinch stole christmas &#8230; or did he?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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		<title>The best laid plans of mice and lawyers!</title>
		<link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Dec 2020 15:30:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>For some of us, practising law is a life long passion. We love the adrenaline, the intellectual challenge, the structure and identity the Law provides. But for others - there is a realisation that the Law is not for us. What then? What does life look like after law? Let's find out.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/">The best laid plans of mice and lawyers!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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<h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="written-by-alicia-koch-founder-of-the-legal-belletrist"><em>Written by Alicia Koch, Founder of <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a>&nbsp;</em></h6>



<p>When I studied law I imagined that I would do great things – be a defender of justice. Of sorts. I had planned on building a name for myself, having an Ally McBeal kind of reputation – the “benchmark” when I was still studying law.</p>



<p>But sometimes the <a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-men-often-go-awry#:~:text=No%20matter%20how%20carefully%20a,Gang%20aft%20a%2Dgley.%E2%80%9D"><em>best laid plans of mice and men often go awry</em></a>. And I have started to understand that it <em>is</em> actually <em>ok</em> – the going awry bit.</p>



<p><em><strong>It is ok to change your course, to change your focus, to change your career. To simply change.</strong></em></p>



<p>As my friend, Adaptive Attorney, CEO &amp; Founder of <a href="http://www.impassion.co.za/">Impassion-Transcend Yourself</a>, Jennifer Amy Stoler would say – <em>“You are not a tree, you can move”. </em>And that really puts things into perspective. Having roots can be a very powerful thing. Especially when you think about your home and your family. But roots can also keep you “stuck” in a place you do not fully want to be in. Preventing your evolvement into something new.</p>



<p>Suffocating you, without you fully realising that you have stopped breathing…. &nbsp;</p>



<p>So stop. Take a deep breath. And let’s dive in – the water is fine (I promise).</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="diving-in">Diving in!</h3>



<p>Like many people who have studied law, I thought – this was it. I would be in a law firm all my life. I would pay my dues, work the long hours and deal with the back stabbing and corporate politics (which I despised). I convinced myself that the money I would earn would be enough. Enough to sacrifice everything else &#8211; like my happiness. And for a while it worked. I believed I was <em>“happy”.</em> I had the flashy car, earned a decent six figure salary and was able to buy the things that made up for the hollowness I felt deep inside. But after more than a decade of practising, I slowly began to realise that money was not enough (not by a long shot). And the soft whisper of <strong><em>“I don’t want to do this anymore”</em></strong> started ringing louder and louder in my ears.</p>



<p>Until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.</p>



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<p>But what would I do? My specialty was the law. In drafting contracts, in advising, in giving opinions and in winning arguments. I didn’t know anything else. I didn’t know how to <em>really</em> change (like fundamentally change). Not that I hadn’t tried over the years….</p>



<p>I mean, I had moved around quite a bit in my career (in search of <em>“my place”</em> in the world) – from law firms, to my own legal consulting practice, going into corporate to be in house-counsel trying renewable energy and insurance law on for size. But nothing quite fit. At least not comfortably.</p>



<p>Lana Del Rey’s song <em>“Blue Jeans”</em> comes to mind – <em>“You fit me better than my favourite sweater”</em>. But I simply was not feeling it – <em>the legal sweater kind of made me itch</em>.</p>



<p>And I realised (after having a very honest and frank discussion with myself in the mirror) that it wasn’t <em>them</em>, it was <em>me</em>. And a break up was imminent.</p>



<p>You see, it wasn’t the law I disliked. I actually appreciate the mechanics of the law and have the utmost respect for my colleagues who practise with fervor day in and day out. It takes guts, it takes grit, it takes dedication and it takes sacrifice. To practise law requires an unwavering passion – because being a lawyer is a true calling. The practice of law is a vocation to be respected. And I honestly do. I am just not sure I have the right amount of grit to <em>grin and bear it</em>.</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="but-what-is-life-without-the-law">But what is life without the law?</h3>



<p>Acknowledging that you want to take a path away from the law and actually <em>stepping on to a path</em> are two very different things.&nbsp;</p>



<p><em><strong>What path should you take?&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;What path can you take?&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;What path do you want to take?</strong></em></p>



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<p>And therein lies the problem – because I do not think any of us (that have studied law) have really been equipped with the right tools to understand that there is more “out there” than just working in a law firm.&nbsp; That <em>there is more to us than <u>just </u>being a lawyer</em> (even though being a lawyer <em>is </em>enough, if that is what you want).</p>



<p>In fact, in various discussions regarding the future of law, many have said (myself included) that lawyers need to do more than <em>“just” expense legal advice</em>. Lawyers need to be in the thick of it, getting their hands well and truly dirty. Lawyers need to focus on the business end of doing business in order to better advise their clients &#8211; who now expect their lawyers to be <em>“more” than just lawyers </em>(whatever that means).</p>



<p>And in this same vein of <em>“being more”, </em>lawyers like myself, are coming to their own conclusions that they <em><u>can</u> be. More</em>.</p>



<p>They just need to figure out what they want that <em>“more”</em> to look like.</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="sisters-doing-it-for-themselves">Sisters doing it for themselves!</h3>



<p><em>Frieda, Jennifer and I walk into a bar</em>, all with the same vision of wanting to change the legal profession. In some small, <em>but significant way</em>.</p>



<p>While we are all in the general vicinity of law, the three of us have found our own little niches within the legal space that are both new and exciting. And most importantly, <em>right for us</em>. We have all found a way to utilise our individual legal backgrounds and skills gained over the years to <em>“be more than <u>just</u> lawyers”</em> –</p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="a-content-management-company-the-legal-belletrist-by-alicia-koch">A content management company &#8211; <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist</a> by Alicia Koch</h3>



<h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-to-remove-the-stigma-that-all-lawyers-are-uptight-and-only-speak-in-legalese-we-are-people-with-a-sense-of-humour-and-a-sense-of-irony-too"><strong><em>“I want to remove the stigma that all lawyers are uptight and only speak in legalese. We are people, with a sense of humour and a sense of irony, too”. </em></strong></h6>
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<p>I am an admitted attorney with over a decade of post qualification experience (PQE). I started <em>The Legal Belletrist</em> <em>(TLB) </em>during lockdown of one of the most difficult years in recent history. It initially came out of necessity (as I was out of work and did not really have any idea what my next step ought to be) but in truth, starting TLB resulted in the discovery of my “<a href="https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/heartsong#:~:text=Noun,identity%2C%20and%20reason%20for%20existence.">heartsong</a>”. I mean, I had always loved writing and had been writing legal articles for <a href="https://www.golegal.co.za/author/alicia-koch/">GoLegal</a>, for a number of years. But it had never occurred to me that I could actually make a living from writing full time. I mean, e<em>arning a living from doing something you absolutely loved</em> was a completely foreign concept to me. Until I did.</p>



<p>After panicking about how I was going to find a job during a global recession in an industry inundated with brilliant legal minds, I bit the bullet, changed my title on LinkedIn from Legal Counsel to Legal Writer and Researcher (a big moment for me), built my own website using <a href="https://www.wix.com/">Wix</a> and designed a logo using <a href="https://www.canva.com/q/pro/?v=2&amp;utm_source=google_sem&amp;utm_medium=cpc&amp;utm_campaign=REV_ZA_EN_CanvaPro_Branded_Tier1_Core_EM&amp;utm_term=REV_ZA_EN_CanvaPro_Branded_Tier1_Canva_EM&amp;gclsrc=aw.ds&amp;&amp;gclid=CjwKCAiA5IL-BRAzEiwA0lcWYu-mSCcRlYAoNO-8sAjURl0cl7xIYYYGSkjbNuGggi6GSQHL0PPaYhoCT_0QAvD_BwE&amp;gclsrc=aw.ds">Canva</a> (all free platforms that are easily accessible). But my vision was absolutely clear. It still is. I knew exactly what I wanted my future to look like. And I built it &#8211; from scratch. Without knowing <em>for sure</em> it would work, without much of a plan. But I started. And within a few days of doing so, had secured my first regular client and have been happily writing ever since. And earning a living! I can’t believe it – <em>I sometimes pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming</em>….</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>My determination to succeed comes down to this – is the juice worth the squeeze? Because the truth is – you can do whatever you want, if you put your mind to it. If it is worth it and truly meaningful to you, no amount of difficulty will stop you. You just need to start.</em></li></ul>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="life-coaching-for-legal-professionals-braving-boundaries-by-frieda-levycky">Life coaching for legal professionals &#8211; Braving Boundaries by Frieda Levycky</h3>



<h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-to-provide-a-safe-place-for-lawyers-to-discuss-their-struggles-both-professional-and-personal-without-the-fear-of-judgment-or-repercussions-so-that-they-can-start-to-build-happier-healthier-and-more-fulfilling-lives"><strong><em>“I want to provide a safe place for lawyers to discuss their struggles (both professional and personal) without the fear of judgment or repercussions, so that they can start to build happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.”</em></strong></h6>
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<p>Frieda is an admitted (and practising) English solicitor with over 15 years’ of PQE. She has navigated her way through the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> from trainee to in-house counsel to partner (in a “Big Law” law firm) and now life coach. She loves the practice of law and has thrived in her international M&amp;A practice. But it was the structure and hierarchy of law firms that made her realise that they are sorely short of the all-important “soft skills”. The skills that most people take for granted, but desperately require, in order to not only survive each day but also to thrive in their careers (and personal lives).</p>



<p>Law firms are unfortunately notorious for paying lip-service to mental health issues, but doing little to encourage good mental health practices amongst their staff. This is an area of the legal profession that Frieda wants to change both at the corporate and individual level. Being a solicitor herself, she is fully aware of the range of situations in which a lawyer’s health and well-being is challenged. Through her <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> practice, she provides a safe space for lawyers to voice their personal and professional struggles and supports them in making the changes they desire to create happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives (both professionally and personally). She also seeks to help law firms and corporates tackle poor practices contributing to poor mental health and well-being issues through group coaching and workshops.</p>



<p>For a lot of her clients, it is the <em>need for a change</em> that drives them to seek her guidance &#8211; because they simply do not have the first clue about how to make a meaningful change themselves. Again, they do not possess the tools they require to recognise <em><u>what else</u> they are good at</em> in order to create change in their lives. And this is where Frieda steps in – she helps you discover the skills and capabilities that you <em>already possess</em> to make the fundamental change you desire.</p>



<p>To this end, Frieda is on a mission to humanise the law &#8211; to bring it into the modern world &#8211; and rid it of institutionalised and archaic practices that no longer serve the industry.</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Frieda’s determination to succeed comes down to finding courage in one’s self to make the change. And we all have it in us. </em></li></ul>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="an-alternative-legal-practice-impassion-transcend-yourself-by-jennifer-amy-stoler">An alternative legal practice – Impassion &#8211; Transcend Yourself by Jennifer Amy Stoler</h3>



<h6 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-to-empower-and-educate-my-clients-so-that-they-can-envision-and-achieve-their-own-goals-the-power-is-not-only-in-the-hands-of-the-lawyers-but-in-the-hands-of-the-clients-as-well"><strong><em>“I want to empower and educate my clients so that they can envision and achieve their own goals – the power is not only in the hands of the lawyers but in the hands of the clients as well…”</em></strong></h6>
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<p>Jennifer’s life was full of law – she had surrounded herself in and with it. She always understood where she wanted to be, but she knew it would take small steps to get there. During her (decade long) legal career, with the assistance of her erstwhile mentor, she ran a thriving family practice which, from the get-go, she had decided would be run differently to other family law practices. Not everyone agreed with her methods &#8211; but she powered on, always setting out to develop a trust relationship with her clients ensuring that she could <em>engage the law in a way that would serve her clients in the best way possible</em>. <strong><em>For them</em></strong><em>.</em> She took on a very active role in setting up her successful practice by speaking at events and seminars, by creating a podcast called the <strong><em>“Lawyer and the Layman<img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/2122.png" alt="™" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></em>”</strong>, by doing radio and TV interviews and by presenting workshops to educate and empower people with legal information. &nbsp;</p>



<p>This took immense sacrifice on Jennifer’s part – creating the content for the workshops and the seminars, ultimately resulted in her complete burn out. She suddenly recognised that she was missing out on some fundamentally important aspects of her life – like <em>simply living</em>.</p>



<p>But, through this burn out, she came to understand that all the time she was spending creating content for the workshops, seminars and podcasts, fueled her soul and helped her discover what she wanted to focus on. She sought to build a practice where she could connect with people and impact the legal space in a new way – in her own, unique way. Her aim was to build a practice surrounded by trust, where she was <em>seen as a human being before being seen as just a lawyer</em>.</p>



<p>Jennifer started to think outside the box and discovered that her power was not only found in the law, <em>her power lay in the education and empowerment of her clients</em>. Her practice is designed to encourage trust, both in the process but also in the legal system (a term she has defined as “trustice”) through the development of small “self- help”, practical and actionable steps to ease her clients through their legal crisis (a term she refers to as “legal easement”). Through the use of <em>trustice</em> and <em>legal easement</em>, Jennifer assists her clients to attain the justice that had previously eluded them.</p>



<p>Essentially, Jennifer’s successful alternative legal practice comes down to four important pillars &#8211; empowerment, education, trust in the legal system and practical actionable solutions.</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Jennifer’s determination to succeed came from trusting herself and her vision and just taking the leap. When taking this leap, she didn’t know how she was going to fly, but she built her wings on the way down, and they are purely liberating.</em></li></ul>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="i-want-what-they-have">I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE!</h3>



<p>If you are looking for a change from the law, but are struggling with where to start, Frieda, Jennifer and I have come up with the following “pearls of wisdom”:</p>



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<p><strong>Get to know yourself</strong> – what is your vision, what do you want, what do you want your future to look like, what are your passions, what are your beliefs, what is your purpose, what gets you out of bed? Get clear on who you are. It’s the most important step. If you need some support in discovering your skills and capabilities, seek the help of a coach, like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> to help you develop a plan to get you to your end goal.</p>
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<p><strong>Research</strong> – Get on to the internet, speak to recruiters, talk to law professors, talk to family friends – find out about what other careers lawyers have switched into. There are plenty of us out there. I know of journalists, geologists, CEOs, entrepreneurs, doctors – all who have been lawyers too!</p>
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<p><strong><strong>Educate yourself (humbly becoming a student again)</strong></strong> – Once you know what you want to do, work out if you’ve got the skills to do it. If not, it’s time to go back to school (well, figuratively) &#8211; do workshops, webinars, whatever it takes to get you to your end goal.</p>
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<p><strong>If time is on your side, use it </strong>– Sometimes we are thrown into situations where we have to find new jobs and careers merely to pay the bills. When it comes to a change in career though (and you have the job security), use the time wisely. Don’t jump until you are sure you like where you will be landing.</p>
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<p><strong>Do not entertain doubt – </strong>acknowledge that imposter syndrome is something which you are highly likely to experience &#8211; and is very real! Shake the monster from your head, look yourself dead in the eye (in the mirror of course) and repeat “<em>You have got this”</em> until you believe it.</p>
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<p><strong>If you are going solo, acknowledge that things are going to feel pretty uncomfortable for a while – </strong>Be prepared for <em>“</em><em>comparisonitis</em><em>”</em> (constantly comparing yourself to other businesses in the same area), overwhelm, self-doubt and the crazy notion of <em>“What was I thinking!”</em> – Don’t worry! This is all perfectly normal. You’ve merely stepped out of a well-oiled corporate machine and are learning to build a new (and improved) one from scratch. Be patient. Freak out with your support network (I know I have). And remember why you decided to make the jump of faith in the first place.</p>
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<p><strong>Understand that even the <em>best laid plans of mice and men go awry</em></strong> – even with the most well thought out plan of action, things don’t always go according to plan. But having a plan fail, does not mean all is lost – <em>“it is never rejection, it is re-direction”. </em>Get up, dust yourself off and try again.</p>
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<p><strong>How you feel today will influence how you feel tomorrow</strong> – so change the thought and the feeling will follow.</p>
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<p><strong>Get up and show up</strong> &#8211; Every time<strong>. </strong>Make your bed, have a cup of coffee (or tea) and take a deep breath of the fresh morning air. Sometimes a simple change in perspective can help you see clearly.</p>
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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="the-juice-will-be-worth-the-squeeze">The juice will be worth the squeeze!</h3>



<p>Remember change and transition is very difficult. For anyone and everyone. But if the regular legal route is not your thing, <em>you can become something else</em>. In fact, <em>you should become something else</em>. And there are so many other options out there. We have given you only three examples of alternate legal routes that <em>three female legal professionals</em> have taken. During 2020 of all years! But there are many more routes. Many more possibilities which are (honestly) endless. And better years to make a change….</p>



<p>There is no limit to what you can do &#8211; <em>think outside the box.</em></p>



<p>Change is good, even if it is hard – <em>the juice will be worth the squeeze!</em></p>



<p>And if you need some more encouragement –</p>



<p><strong><em>”If we don&#8217;t change, we don&#8217;t grow. If we don&#8217;t grow, we aren&#8217;t really living”</em> &#8211; Gail Sheehy</strong></p>



<p><strong><em>“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance”</em> &#8211; Alan Watts</strong></p>



<p>So dance, dance and dance. And if you don’t know the steps, seek a partner who can teach them to you….</p>



<p><strong><em>Cha-cha-cha</em></strong><strong> my friends, <em>cha-cha-cha</em></strong>!</p>



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<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change-480x267.jpg 480w" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/time-for-a-change.jpg" alt="time for a career change?"><br></p>





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<p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.&nbsp;</p>



<p>About the Author,&nbsp;<strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p>



<p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p>



<p><strong>Email: [email protected]&nbsp;</strong></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-best-laid-plans-of-mice-and-lawyers/">The best laid plans of mice and lawyers!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p>
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