<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>high achievers Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/high-achievers/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/high-achievers/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2026 15:59:14 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>high achievers Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/high-achievers/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Messy Middle: Why Self-Awareness Feels Hard</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2026 15:59:06 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Career Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional intelligence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[high achievers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Workplace Communication]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235610</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/">The Messy Middle: Why Self-Awareness Feels Hard</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1"><i>Many professionals look successful on the outside while feeling stuck, reactive or disconnected on the inside. This article explores why self-awareness can feel uncomfortable, why growth often gets messy before it gets better and how honest reflection and boundaries can lead to stronger leadership, healthier relationships and lasting change.</i></p> <p class="p1">Hello, my fellow high functioning, “bulletproof” professionals. Let’s have a seat – metaphorically speaking, of course, because standing makes it easier to flee when things get too real. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely survived another week of pretending you have it all together while your internal monologue is a chaotic mix of a business strategy and a silent scream into the vast, empty void.</p> <p class="p1">In the world of Braving Boundaries, we’re diving into self-awareness (catch up on more posts about <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/category/change-2/">boundaries and change</a>). But we aren’t doing the “sparkly Pinterest quote” version where you find your inner light while wearing linen pants on a beach. No. We’re doing the version that feels like finding a cockroach in your designer handbag – shocking, slightly nauseating, somewhat curious and utterly impossible to unsee.<strong></strong></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why most people think they are self-aware</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1249" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Woman-Looking-at-Her-Reflection-in-a-Broken-Mirror-View-more-by-Artmim-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Woman Looking at Her Reflection in a Broken Mirror View more by Artmim from Getty Images" title="Woman Looking at Her Reflection in a Broken Mirror View more by Artmim from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235651" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Before we get personal, let’s look at the numbers. They’re deliciously, darkly grim. According to research by organisational psychologist <a href="https://tashaeurich.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1">Dr. Tasha Eurich</span></a>, 95% of people believe they are self-aware. We all think we’re the hero of the story, the “self-actualised” leader, the person who “gets it”.</p> <p class="p1">It makes us feel good about our own existential crises.</p> <p class="p1">However, the reality is a cold bucket of water – only <b>10% to 15% of people actually meet the criteria</b>. That’s a cold hard reality smack to the face if you ask me. Ego bruised and our perfectly curated delusion smashed like Avo on toast.</p> <p class="p1">That means about 85% of the people you meet today – your boss, your spouse, the person cutting you off in traffic – are walking around in a cloud of blissful, dangerous ignorance. They are unknowingly stepping on toes, alienating colleagues and repeating the same three mistakes like a glitching NPC in a video game.</p> <p class="p1">If you currently feel uncomfortable, itchy in your own skin or suddenly unsure of your “vibe”, congratulations! You’ve likely stumbled out of the delusional 95% and into the “Messy Middle”.</p> <p class="p1">Just like Neo you took the red pill and now there’s no going back. It’s a cramped, confusing place with terrible snacks, but at least the lighting is more honest. Eeeuw! Overhead lighting. I look far better in dimly lit rooms – you know – with “atmosphere” and intrigue.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The professional mask high-achievers wear</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Woman-leading-a-business-presentation-at-a-conference-event-View-more-by-Jacob-Lund-Photography-from-Jacob-Lund.jpg" alt="Woman leading a business presentation at a conference event View more by Jacob Lund Photography from Jacob Lund" title="Woman leading a business presentation at a conference event View more by Jacob Lund Photography from Jacob Lund" class="wp-image-235650" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">As someone who has spent years perfecting the art of being “bulletproof” (albeit with a very chic bulletproof vest), I know the struggle. In the professional world, we’re taught that admitting a struggle is a death sentence for your reputation. We wear our high-functioning anxiety like a tailored blazer – it’s stiff, it’s expensive and it hides the fact that we can’t breathe. Almost like a corset, without the fabulous figure-hugging silhouette.</p> <p class="p1">I remember a specific season of my life where I thought I was being “assertive, clear and efficient”. I was the hero of my own corporate thriller – fearless, climbing mountains, swimming with metaphorical mermaids. Mermaids exist, ok? Then, a “loving critic” (someone who actually likes me but doesn’t mind watching me squirm for my own good) pointed out that my “clear communication” actually felt like a deposition to everyone else in the room.</p> <p class="p1">Shock! Horror!</p> <p class="p1">They told me that when I entered a meeting, people didn’t feel “led”, they felt “interrogated”. As if! I’m a delight.</p> <p class="p1">That moment of awareness didn’t feel like a “breakthrough”. It didn’t feel like a weight that was lifted off my shoulders. It felt like abject humiliation. It felt like I’d been walking around with spinach in my teeth for a decade while giving speeches on dental hygiene. This is the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/"><span class="s1">“Ghost in the Corner Office”</span></a> (see last month’s article) – the jarring tension between who we thought we were and who we actually are.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Anatomy of Corporate Purgatory</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Aerial-View-of-a-Green-Hedge-Maze-View-more-by-meydiiqbal-from-Gambar-Iqbal-Meidi-hapsal.jpg" alt="Aerial View of a Green Hedge Maze View more by meydiiqbal from Gambar Iqbal Meidi hapsal" title="Aerial View of a Green Hedge Maze View more by meydiiqbal from Gambar Iqbal Meidi hapsal" class="wp-image-235655" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">This brings us to the broader realisation – the Messy Middle isn’t just about your personality. It’s about the work itself. It’s that distinctive, agonising stretch of time where the initial adrenaline of “Innovation!” has evaporated, replaced by the realisation that you’re now professionally obligated to see this through to the bitter end.</p> <p class="p1">In the beginning, everything was beautiful. You had a slide deck with high-resolution stock photos of people pointing at glass walls. You had a budget that hadn’t been reduced by a round of unforeseen integration costs.</p> <p class="p1">You had <i>hope</i>.</p> <p class="p1">But now? You are in the thick of it. The “vision” has been replaced by a spreadsheet with 47 tabs, and the only thing “disrupting” your industry is your own rising blood pressure and a caffeine habit that would concern a cardiologist.</p> <p class="p1">The Messy Middle is the phase where reality finally catches up to your ambition and demands its pound of flesh. In the business world, this is often misdiagnosed as “poor planning”. In reality, it’s simply the point where the complexity of a task finally outweighs the novelty of starting it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why growth often feels worse before it feels better</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">We’ve been sold a lie that personal and professional growth is a linear, upward trajectory. We think it’s – <i>Ignorance </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Epiphany </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Success.</i></p> <p class="p1">Wrong!</p> <p class="p1">In reality, the process of self-awareness looks much more like – <i>Ignorance </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Horrified Realisation </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Existential Crisis </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> The Messy Middle </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Tiny Bit of Clarity </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> More Horrified Realisation.</i></p> <p class="p1">It’s so fun!</p> <p class="p1">Increased self-awareness and project maturity bring discomfort because they destabilise your internal status quo.</p> <p class="p1">But here are some reasons why it may feel like you’re failing when you’re actually winning –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The Death of the Avatar – </strong>you have to kill the “Professional Avatar” you built – the one that’s never flustered and always has the answer. Letting it go feels like mourning. But it’s so very freeing.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The Feedback Loop of Doom –</strong> real progress requires external feedback. Hearing that your “passion” looks like “aggression” stings. It makes you want to delete your LinkedIn and move to a farm with mini goats and fluffy cows, daisies growing wild all around you. But …</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The “What” vs. “Why” Trap – </strong>asking “Why” leads to a rumination spiral. Asking “What is happening right now?” leads to observation. But “What” is terrifying because it requires you to look at your behaviour without the shield of an excuse. I sometimes hide behind the cuteness that is my Georgia Peach. Because if you can still see my rubbish behind the adorable fluff ball in front of you, then what I’m selling truly does stink.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Repair Mode: Awareness in Action</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Writing-in-a-notebook-with-a-pen-in-hand-View-more-by-Lina-Darjans-Images.jpg" alt="Writing in a notebook with a pen in hand View more by Lina Darjan's Images" title="Writing in a notebook with a pen in hand View more by Lina Darjan's Images" class="wp-image-235652" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Once you’ve sat in the discomfort and realised that you aren’t the infallible G-d-Queen of the boardroom (I know, it’s a surprise to me too), you enter the most critical phase – <b>Repair Mode</b>.</p> <p class="p1">Self-awareness without repair is just a fancy way of being a self-aware jerk. Repair Mode is the bridge between <i>knowing</i> you’re difficult – or that your project is failing – and <i>actually changing</i> the impact you have on others. It’s where the rubber meets the road and usually, that road is covered in broken glass. So, stepping lightly is usually a good idea. I’d leave the stilettos behind if I were you.</p> <h3 class="p1"><b><i>Step 1: The Tactical Apology (Not the Ego-Stroking One)</i></b></h3> <p class="p1">Repair starts with acknowledging the impact, not the intent. Nobody cares if you “intended” to be helpful when you actually just spoke over them for twenty minutes. Repair Mode sounds like – <i>“I realised that, in our last meeting, I dominated the conversation and didn’t leave room for your input. I’m working on my self-awareness and I’m sorry for the impact that had on the team”.</i></p> <p class="p1">Let’s not go down the same road as Jose Mourinho during his “self-aware” <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=i+appologise+but+i+apologise+to+an+idiot+soccer+coach&sca_esv=4074d84388868a32&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&sxsrf=ANbL-n6YC_6SOX3ewkvjBMSMTCpsGYbFyA:1776333090835&ei=IrHgadLYMoeFhbIPudOayQY&biw=1098&bih=457&ved=0ahUKEwjS8Ya3jPKTAxWHQkEAHbmpJmkQ4dUDCBE&uact=5&oq=i+appologise+but+i+apologise+to+an+idiot+soccer+coach&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiNWkgYXBwb2xvZ2lzZSBidXQgaSBhcG9sb2dpc2UgdG8gYW4gaWRpb3Qgc29jY2VyIGNvYWNoSNQfUPkFWKMacAF4AJABAJgB7AKgAeMdqgEGMi0xMS4yuAEDyAEA-AEBmAIBoAILwgIOEAAYgAQYsAMYhgMYigXCAgsQABiABBiwAxiiBMICCxAAGLADGKIEGIkFmAMA4gMFEgExIECIBgGQBgqSBwExoAenGrIHALgHAMIHAzMtMcgHCYAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:450a2854,vid:ofL054wxBXc,st:0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1">apology</span></a>.</p> <h3 class="p1"><b><i>Step 2: Closing the Gap</i></b></h3> <p class="p1">Repair Mode requires you to close the gap between your perception and theirs. This means asking for real-time course correction. Tell your team – <i>“I know I have a tendency to micromanage when I’m stressed. If you see me doing it, please use the code word ‘Oxygen’. It’ll help me reset”.</i> This gives others permission to help you stay aware. Just remember you gave your team and/or partner this permission – don’t go biting the messenger.</p> <h3 class="p1"><b><i>Step 3: Self-Forgiveness (The Hard Part)</i></b></h3> <p class="p1">You cannot repair a relationship if you’re drowning in self-loathing. If you’re constantly beating yourself up, you become the “victim” again and suddenly the conversation is about <i>your</i> feelings instead of the people you hurt. Repair requires you to be stable enough to hold space for others.</p> <p class="p1">So, pull up your socks and put your “big girl panties” on!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Redefining progress in the Messy Middle</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Stepping-stones-on-a-garden-path-View-more-by-Horia-Ionescus-Images.jpg" alt="Stepping stones on a garden path View more by Horia Ionescu's Images" title="Stepping stones on a garden path View more by Horia Ionescu's Images" class="wp-image-235648" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">In the Messy Middle, you must learn to find “micro-victories”. We used to joke that specialists found joy in a perfectly placed semicolon in a 400-page contract. Because semantics matter. Apparently. But, in the broader business world, it’s about <i>Milestones of Survival</i>.</p> <p class="p1"> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1">Did you make it through a Monday without a “quick sync” that lasted four hours? <i>That’s progress.</i></li> <li class="li1">Did you successfully survive another meeting where “synergy” was offered instead of a functional database? <i>That’s a win.</i></li> <li class="li1">Did you manage to keep your internal monologue from becoming your external dialogue? <i>That’s</i> p<i>romotion material.</i></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Setting boundaries at work: The brave “No”</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">This is where boundaries go to die. Because you’re desperate for a sense of forward motion, you’re tempted to say “Yes” to every distraction, hoping one of them is the magic bullet. This is a lie. Self-awareness is what helps you recognise when you are overcommitting, people-pleasing or mistaking exhaustion for ambition. True “Braving Boundaries” means having the audacity to protect your focus –</p> <p class="p1"> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><b>The Calendar Boundary – </b>marking yourself as <i>“Busy: Strategic Analysis”</i> for four hours just to do your job, while everyone else assumes you are in a very high-powered meeting about “Leveraging Assets”.</li> <li class="li1"><b>The Emotional Boundary –</b> recognising that a project’s “messiness” isn’t a reflection of your worth. Your value cannot be measured by deadlines, deliverables or this quarter’s spreadsheet.</li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why growth happens in difficult seasons</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Rain-in-the-city-View-more-by-Chalabala-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Rain in the city View more by Chalabala from Getty Images" title="Rain in the city View more by Chalabala from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235654" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Here’s the dark, satirical truth – the finish line is overrated. Once you finish, you just get a bigger, messier project as a “reward” for your competence. The Messy Middle is where the actual growth happens – mostly because you’re too exhausted to maintain your professional facade.</p> <p class="p1">It’s in the middle that teams actually bond (usually over a shared frustration with the new project management software). It’s where processes get lean (because you literally don’t have the energy for the “fluff” anymore). It’s where true leadership is forged (or at least, people who can keep a straight face while explaining a 200% budget overrun are identified for future executive roles).</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>4 survival tactics for overwhelmed professionals</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Lower the Bar –</strong> not for quality, but for your expectations of “perfection”. You’re looking for “functional and not currently on fire.”</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Find Your “Personal Board of Advisors” –</strong> the 2-3 colleagues you can text at 10:00 PM to ask, <i>“Is it just me, or is this whole initiative actually a social experiment?”</i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Acknowledge the Hallucination –</strong> just as AI has “hallucinations”, corporate strategies have them too. When the plan stops making sense, stop following the plan.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Practice Strategic Apathy – </strong>care deeply about the outcome, but care very little about the “noise”. You’re the mountain. A very tired, slightly cynical mountain.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>If your team is stuck in the Messy Middle together, our <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/corporate-creative-workshops-seminars/">corporate workshops</a> are built for exactly this.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Here’s to the Elite (and the Exhausted)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Happy-beautiful-woman-laughing-while-holding-coffee-View-more-by-YakobchukOlena-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Happy beautiful woman laughing while holding coffee View more by YakobchukOlena from Getty Images" title="Happy beautiful woman laughing while holding coffee View more by YakobchukOlena from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235647" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">At <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span class="s1"><b>Braving Boundaries</b></span></a>, we’ve realised that the most “elite” professionals aren’t the ones with the cleanest desks. They’re the ones who can sit in the middle of a chaotic, half-finished, over-budget disaster and calmly ask,<i> “Ok, what’s the next small step?”</i><i></i></p> <p class="p1">We’re eternally grateful for the Messy Middle. Without it, we wouldn’t need sophisticated technology, high-level strategic consulting or three double espressos before 9:00 AM. We’d just be people with good ideas and no way to execute them.</p> <p class="p1">So, here’s to the orchestrators of the chaos, the survivors of the “mid-project slump” and the professionals who still haven’t figured out why their automated workflows are sending invoices to the office cat.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Ready to brave your boundaries?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If this article made you feel slightly attacked, incredibly seen or just deeply uncomfortable – good. That’s the first step toward a version of you that doesn’t need a cardboard cutout to survive the day.</p> <p class="p1">But you don’t have to navigate the “Messy Middle” or the “Repair Mode” alone. If you’re ready to trade your armour for actual, sustainable growth, it’s time to talk to a professional who knows how to navigate these trenches.</p> <p class="p1"><strong><span class="s1"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><i>Contact</i></a></span><i> Frieda Levycky at Braving Boundaries.</i></strong><b><i></i></b></p> <p class="p1"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/my-story/">Frieda</a> specialises in helping professionals navigate the complex, often messy world of self-awareness, emotional intelligence and sustainable growth. Whether you’re a lawyer, a CEO, an overworked Executive or just someone tired of their own excuses, Frieda provides the sounding board you need to move from “horrified realisation” to “meaningful change”.</p> <p class="p1"><b>Explore <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/">individual coaching with Frieda</a> — designed for professionals who are done performing and ready to do the real work.</b></p> <p class="p1">Stop pretending you’re bulletproof. Start being real. The view from the 15% is much better – even if it takes a little discomfort to get there.</p> <p class="p1"> <p class="p2"><span class="s2"><i>(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </i><a href="https://skillpath.com/blog/self-awareness-is-the-strongest-predictor-of-leadership-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Skillpath</i></span></a><i>; LinkedIn </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/tashaeurich_think-youre-self-aware-odds-are-youre-activity-7361475393603715072-eYRk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i>, </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-three-biggest-self-awareness-lessons-researcher-tasha-eurich/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a></span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s2"><i>and </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/google-decodes-messy-middle-buying-process-g-david-dodd/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.successpodcast.com/show-notes/2020/5/20/you-arent-actually-self-aware-with-tasha-eurich#:~:text=She%2520is%2520the%2520New%2520York,Understanding%2520how%2520people%2520see%2520us." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Success Podcast</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffkauflin/2017/05/10/only-15-of-people-are-self-aware-heres-how-to-change/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Forbes</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Harvard Business Review</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://medium.com/mind-cafe/why-introspection-isnt-the-best-way-to-self-awareness-140b8492e6fe" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Medium</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://katedejong.com/the-self-awareness-gap/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Kate de Jong</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://tim.blog/2018/09/13/scott-belsky/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Tim Ferriss</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/tasha_eurich_increase_your_self_awareness_with_one_simple_fix" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>TED Talks</i></span></a><i> and </i><a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/news-in-brief/local/taking-stock-part-i/#:~:text=We%2520all%2520look%2520forward%2520to,happens%2520to%2520all%2520of%2520us.&text=But%2520what%2520does%2520that%2520quote,the%2520Forrest%2520for%2520the%2520trees." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Tech4law</i></span></a><i>). <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Mailshot-CTA-images.png" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235639" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/">The Messy Middle: Why Self-Awareness Feels Hard</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Ghost in the Corner Office: Grieving the Life You Thought You’d Have</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 26 Mar 2026 06:43:25 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life after Law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[authentic living]]></category> <category><![CDATA[burnout and recovery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Burnout and transition]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Career identity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career transition]]></category> <category><![CDATA[High achiever pressure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[high achievers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Identity shift]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership identity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Transitions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Professional change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional identity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[redefining success]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235581</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/">The Ghost in the Corner Office: Grieving the Life You Thought You’d Have</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1"><i>Many professionals reach a point where life looks successful on paper but feels different on the inside. This tension between who we thought we would become and who we are today often brings a subtle form of grief that few people talk about. Alicia Koch explores this experience with honesty, humour and insight.</i></p> <p class="p1">Let’s perform a quick autopsy on your twenty-two-year-old self. You remember them, right? That bright-eyed, over-caffeinated specimen of pure, unadulterated potential? They had a Five-Year Plan etched in stone – probably in a very expensive Moleskine – and a wardrobe that screamed “<i>I have never experienced a lumbar spasm or a panic attack in a bathroom stall”.</i></p> <p class="p1">They knew exactly where they were going – the corner office, the partner track, the perfectly curated offspring, and a lifestyle that looked less like a frantic scramble for sanity and more like a high-end neutral-toned linen advertisement.</p> <p class="p1">And then, life happened.</p> <p class="p1">Not the cinematic, tragic kind of life – though there’s plenty of that – but the slow, grinding, bureaucratic reality of existing.</p> <p class="p1">Now, here you are. Maybe you’re the CEO of a company that consumes your soul like a Dementor at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Maybe you’re a lawyer who realised that <i>Suits</i> was a filthy, stylish lie and real practice is mostly just discovery disputes and high-functioning alcoholism. Maybe you’re a stay-at-home mother wondering why your master’s degree is currently being used as a coaster for a lukewarm cup of apple juice.</p> <p class="p1">Or maybe you’re like me.</p> <p class="p1">I used to be a lawyer. I had the degree, the path, and the crushing weight of billable hours that felt like a slow-motion car crash. Today, I am the owner and founder of <a href="https://thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1">The Legal Belletrist</span></a>, the proud mother to four cats, and a woman who has traded courtrooms for a keyboard and a very complicated relationship with my own immune system.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Great “Absolutely Not” Moment</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/verworked-Asian-woman-falls-asleep-on-desk-with-paperwork-lapto-View-more-by-nuttapong-punna-from-nuttapong-punnas-Images.png" alt="Overworked Asian woman falls asleep on desk with paperwork, lapto View more by nuttapong punna from nuttapong punna's Images" title="verworked Asian woman falls asleep on desk with paperwork, lapto View more by nuttapong punna from nuttapong punna's Images" class="wp-image-235601" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Let’s talk about the “Breakdown.” Or the “Burnout.” Or, as I prefer to call it, <i>The Tuesday My Soul Resigned Without Giving Two Weeks’ Notice.</i></p> <p class="p1">There I was, a high-functioning cog in the legal machine, staring at a stack of documents so dry they could have been used as kindling in a rainforest. My brain felt like a browser with forty-seven tabs open, three of them were frozen, and one was playing circus music that I couldn’t find to turn off.</p> <p class="p1">I was a “Success Story” by every societal metric, yet I was sitting in my car in the office parking lot, weeping over a lukewarm granola bar because I couldn’t remember if I’d fed the cats or if I’d just dreamed about feeding the cats. Or worse if the cats were real.</p> <p class="p1">That was the moment the “Absolutely Not” arrived. It wasn’t a whisper, it was a roar. It was the realisation that if I had to draft one more contract or sit through one more meeting where “synergy” was used unironically, I might actually spontaneously combust.</p> <p class="p1">I quit. I walked away from the path I’d spent a decade paving. And then? The hollow hit.</p> <p class="p1">You know that feeling? It’s the gut-level <i>“What Now?”</i> And it’s the silence that follows when you stop running on a treadmill you didn’t even want to be on. I sat in my house – with the four cats who, for the record, were perfectly well-fed – and felt like a hollowed-out pumpkin in mid-November. I was Alicia Koch, Lawyer. Without the “Lawyer,” I was just Alicia Koch, <i>Woman Who Is Very Good At Crying In Parking Lots.</i></p> <p class="p1">And then, the genius hit. Or rather, it tripped over me.</p> <p class="p1">I started writing. Not legal briefs. Not “Whereas” and “Heretofore.” Just… words. It was like my brain had been a pressurised steam cooker and someone finally flipped the valve. Out came the wit, the satire, the observations of a life lived in the trenches of the billable hour. I looked at the screen and thought, <i>Where the hell did that come from? Was this in there the whole time?</i><i></i></p> <p class="p1">Suddenly, The Legal Belletrist wasn’t just an idea, it was a lifeline. It was the “something else” I never saw coming because I was too busy staring at the corner office. I realised I could either wither in the shadow of who I <i>thought</i> I should be, or I could make hay while the sun shone – even if that sun was mostly illuminating cat hair on my sofa.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Ghost of the “Better” You</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/man-looking-at-pixelated-reflection-of-himself.png" alt="man looking at pixelated reflection of himself" title="man looking at pixelated reflection of himself" class="wp-image-235600" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">This is what I mean by subtle grief. It’s not the explosive, Hallmark-movie sorrow of a sudden loss. It’s the low-frequency hum of the life you <i>didn’t</i> live. It’s the mourning of a version of yourself that never actually existed outside of your imagination.</p> <p class="p1">It’s the Executive who looks at their private jet and feels a pang of longing for the starving artist they promised they’d be back in undergrad. It’s the woman who chose not to have children, standing in a quiet, pristine kitchen, feeling the phantom weight of a choice she doesn’t regret but still feels the need to acknowledge. It’s the person struggling with a body that has turned into a traitor – hello, <a href="https://autoimmune.org/autoimmune-awareness-month/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1">Autoimmune Awareness Month</span></a> – grieving the effortless mobility they once took for granted before their cells decided to stage a mutiny.</p> <p class="p1">This isn’t dissatisfaction. It isn’t regret. You can love your life, your cats, and your career, and still feel the sting of the <i>“Alternative Me”</i>. You can be objectively successful and still feel like a ghost is haunting your achievements.</p> <p class="p1">We are taught to “pivot” and “hustle.” We are told to “manifest” our dreams by shouting at the universe until it gives in. But nobody tells us how to hold a funeral for the dreams that died of natural causes.</p> <p class="p1">We just pack them into the basement of our psyche and wonder why we feel so heavy when we’re walking up the stairs (for the record that could just be my immense unfitness talking).</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Corporate Martyr and the Domestic Saint</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Female-CEO-at-desk-View-more-by-Pressmaster-from-Getty-Images.png" alt="" title="Female CEO at desk View more by Pressmaster from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235599" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Whether you are a high-flying CEO or a man living alone with a sourdough starter kit and a subscription to a gym you only visit in your recurring nightmares, we all share this – <strong>the gap between the expectation and the evidence.</strong></p> <p class="p1">For the professionals, the grief is often wrapped in gold leaf. You reached the summit, only to find the air is thin and the view is mostly just other exhausted people pretending they aren’t dizzy. You grieve the passion you traded for a pension. You grieve the version of you that didn’t have to check emails during your sister’s wedding.</p> <p class="p1">For the parents – and those of us who took a different exit on the motherhood highway – the grief is visceral. To the stay-at-home mothers – you love them, obviously, but you might grieve the woman who could leave the house with nothing but a lipstick and a sense of spontaneity, rather than a diaper bag that weighs more than a small planet. To the women who chose not to be mothers, or those of us still trying, or those whose path simply didn’t lead there – we enjoy the sleep and the freedom, but we might grieve the “normality” the world insists we’re missing out on.</p> <p class="p1">And for those of us dealing with the “invisible” battles – the depression that feels like walking through waist-deep molasses, or the autoimmune flare-ups that turn a simple Tuesday into an Olympic feat of endurance – the grief is about <strong>identity</strong>.</p> <p class="p1">Who are you when you can’t “produce” at 110%? Who are you when your body says “no” while your ambition is screaming “KEEP GOING”?</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why Sarcasm is a Valid Coping Mechanism (Until it Isn’t)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Person-Sitting-on-Rocks-in-Nature-Malmedy-View-more-by-Maarten-Ceulemans-from-Pexels.jpg" alt="Person Sitting on Rocks in Nature, Malmedy View more by Maarten Ceulemans from Pexels" title="Person Sitting on Rocks in Nature, Malmedy View more by Maarten Ceulemans from Pexels" class="wp-image-235604" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">We use wit and sarcasm to shield ourselves from the earnestness of this pain. It’s easier to make a joke about being a “cat lady” or having a “mid-life rebrand” than it is to sit down and say, <i>“I am sad that I am not who I thought I’d be, even though I quite like who I am”. </i>For real.</p> <p class="p1">Sarcasm is the armour of the burnt-out. It’s the language of the CEO who hasn’t slept since the Obama administration and the lawyer who has forgotten what sunlight looks like. But armour is heavy. Eventually, you have to take it off to see where you’re bleeding.</p> <p class="p1">But the truth really is – your “unmet expectations” aren’t failures. They are the shedding of a skin that no longer fits.</p> <p class="p1">Even snakes probably feel a bit chilly and vulnerable when they leave their old selves behind on a rock.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Beauty of the “Wrong” Life</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">My life isn’t the one I initially picked. I didn’t sign up for the autoimmune “party” or the mental health hurdles that make some days feel like I’m trying to climb Everest in flip-flops. But in the space where the “Power Lawyer” used to be, something more authentic grew. A writer. A business owner. A human being who understands that <strong>showing up</strong> – even if you’re showing up in pyjamas with a cat on your lap – is the bravest thing you can do.</p> <p class="p1">If you are currently at the end of your tether, looking at the frayed rope and wondering if you should just let go, listen closely – The tether was an illusion!</p> <p class="p1">The grief you feel for your “ideal self” is actually a sign of life. It means you still have the capacity to imagine. It means you have a heart that remembers its desires. The goal isn’t to kill the grief. No. It’s to invite it to tea, acknowledge its presence, and then tell it to sit in the corner while you get on with the business of living the life you actually have.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Evolution of Identity</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Identity-problem-View-more-by-numbeos-from-Getty-Images-Signature.png" alt="" title="Identity problem View more by numbeos from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235598" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">We are not static objects. We are not “finished” when we hit thirty, forty, or sixty. Your identity is a liquid, not a solid. It pours itself into the containers life provides. Sometimes the container is a boardroom, sometimes it’s a doctor’s office, sometimes it’s a quiet house with four cats and a deadline.</p> <p class="p1">The subtle grief comes when we try to force our liquid selves back into the old, cracked jars of our youth.</p> <p class="p1">March is Autoimmune Awareness Month, a time for awareness of our bodies, our health, and the silent struggles we carry. <strong>But let’s also make it a month for identity awareness</strong><b>. </b></p> <p class="p1">Let’s stop pretending that we are all “crushing it” and acknowledge that some days, the only thing we are crushing is our own spirit trying to meet impossible standards.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Making it the Best Darn Thing</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">It may not be the life you initially picked. You might be tired, you might be aching, and you might be wondering where that twenty-two-year-old with the Moleskine went. But the version of you that exists right now – the one who has survived the disappointments, the burnouts, and the “what ifs” – <strong>is much more interesting than the person you imagined you’d be!</strong> Honestly.</p> <p class="p1">The person you imagined was a cardboard cutout. The person you are is a masterpiece of scar tissue, resilience, and hard-won wisdom.</p> <p class="p1">So, here is the deal – you’re allowed to mourn the life you didn’t have. You’re allowed to be sad about the parts of yourself that didn’t make the cut. But once you’ve had a good cry (and perhaps a very sarcastic rant to your pets), you have to look at the life you <i>are</i> living.</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Make it the best darn thing you’ve ever seen. Not because it’s perfect – it’s clearly a mess – but because it’s yours.</i></span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Are you tired of hauling the luggage of who you thought you’d be?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_47 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If you are struggling with unmet expectations, evolving priorities, or the shifting sands of your<b> </b>identity, you don’t have to navigate the fog alone. Frieda Levycky of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span class="s1">Braving Boundaries </span></a>specialises in helping professionals, executives, and anyone at the end of their tether navigate these messy transitions.</p> <p class="p1">It’s time to stop grieving the ghost and start living the life you’ve actually got. <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="s1">Contact </span></a>Frieda Levycky at Braving Boundaries today to help shape the identity you were always meant to have.</p> <p class="p1">It may not be the life you picked, but we can make it the best darn thing ever!</p> <p class="p2"><i>(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </i><a href="https://whatsyourgrief.com/grieving-who-i-used-to-be/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>What’s your grief</i></span></a><i>). <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Mailshot-CTA-images.jpg" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235596" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_48 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/">The Ghost in the Corner Office: Grieving the Life You Thought You’d Have</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 25 Aug 2021 19:23:29 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[athletes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[high achievers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health advocate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental well being]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[olympics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sport stars]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sporting heroes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sporting legends]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sports stars]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3125</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Many people, sports stars and everyday people alike, experience mental health issues. But it’s what we choose to do about them that counts.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/">It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><em>It’s “Ok not to be Ok”. Honestly.</em></p> <p>Choice.</p> <p>Choice is a funny thing. It’s something we all have. </p> <p>We can choose who we love, we can choose how we worship. We can choose our sexual orientation. We can choose what political parties we follow and those we don’t. We can say no to the things we disagree with. And we can stand up for the things we do. We can get married, or not. Have children. Don’t have children. We can abort an unwanted pregnancy, or not – your body, your choice. We can choose to study or not. We can choose to live the way we want to. </p> <p><em>And we can choose how we feel and what to do about it.</em></p> <p>These are all choices we get to make every single day. </p> <p><em>But what if you were not happy with your choices?</em></p> <p>Take myself as an example. </p> <p>I am a qualified and admitted attorney. I completed an undergraduate B.Com Law degree and thereafter a post graduate LL.B degree. Definitely achievements to be proud of. To Be sure. And I <em>was.</em> </p> <p>I was proud to be called an Attorney or General Counsel or In-house counsel. <em>Whatever the title</em>. I was proud that I was given the opportunity to study when some people weren’t. I was proud that I could draft international contracts and win cases. I was proud of what I had achieved. <em>La-di-da.</em></p> <p>But I was also deeply unhappy. I suffered from anxiety, stress to the extreme, I felt inadequate and constantly felt like a failure. An imposter. My mental health really took a knock. And it was so hard to admit that. </p> <p>I wasn’t doing what I believed I should be doing. I felt like when it came down to it, I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live. I was just going through the motions. Even though I had been trained to be what I was and was operating at high levels.</p> <p>And I didn’t (yet) have the guts to say – <em>Stop. Enough. I don’t want this. I am unhappy. </em></p> <p>And I felt so alone in that.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/1-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3150"/></figure></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The truth is – you are not alone – poor mental health affects us all </h2> <p>Growing up we are all led to believe (whether it is through our families influence, TV, Magazines and now social media) that famous people are above it all. Immune to “<em>feeling all the feels”.</em> </p> <p>Like money, fame and success can make them immune to feeling inadequate, like feeling like a failure, like being anxious, unsure. Feeling not quite themselves. Feeling down or even being depressed.</p> <p>But it simply isn’t true. </p> <p>After all, even famous people are human.</p> <p>It’s funny, when I started writing this article, I wanted to discuss how athletes perform to these extremely high standards and how they are able to motivate themselves through the hard times. But it has turned into something more than that. </p> <p>And it started with the 2020 Tokyo Olympics which really did shine a spotlight on mental health issues. </p> <p><em>And the humanity of it all. </em></p> <p>The “real” of it all – behind all the camera flashes, TV interviews and million dollar endorsements.</p> <p>How, despite <em>“having the world at their feet</em>” even professional athletes trained to withstand immense pressure both in their professional and private lives <em>can fall. Can fail. And can feel it.</em></p> <p>It is surprising which of the people we look up to, mold ourselves after or wish we could be, have suffered through their own bouts of mental health issues. Have wanted things to stop. Or have wanted to change their circumstances. But they have come through it – not entirely unscathed – but they have made it through. <em>Because of the choices they made.</em></p> <p>And it is these people that outperform, that compete at high levels and to high standards (for a living), that put smiles on for the crowds and wave to their fans. It’s the people that win the gold medals, the people that set the records – or break them. <em>It is the people that admit they are suffering despite their fame and success,</em> that I want to talk about. </p> <p>Because maybe we can learn a thing or two from their experiences. Especially around the choices they decided to make. <em>Despite it all.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Mental health – Even our heroes cry</h2> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://www.vogue.com/article/how-have-other-leading-athletes-addressed-their-struggles-with-mental-health" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How Have Leading Athletes Addressed Their Struggles With Mental Health?</a>, the following was set out – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“The nonprofit </em><a href="https://www.athletesforhope.org/2019/05/mental-health-and-athletes/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Athletes for Hope</em></a><em> has estimated that 35% of professional athletes experience problems with their mental health, facing everything from eating disorders and burnout to depression and anxiety—but they’re not often discussed on the world’s largest stages, especially not by players at the top of their careers”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that is where we begin.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/simone-biles.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3128"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://live.staticflickr.com/8010/28302956634_d6900e6a70_b.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ginástica Artística – Final individual feminino – Simone Biles/EUA – Medalha de Ouro</a> by Danilo Borges /ME /Brasil2016. </figcaption></figure> <p>It is no surprise that during the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, <strong><em>Simone Biles</em></strong>, a four-time Olympic gold medalist, with 32 Olympic and world medals, made headlines when she <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-out-team-gymnastics-final-after-apparent-injury-n1275121" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">pulled out of the U.S. team gymnastics finals</a> – withdrawing from the team all-around, the individual all-around, the vault, floor exercise and uneven bar events. She stated that the emotional toll of the Tokyo Games, (and not her physical health) had taken its toll on her which prompted her withdrawal. </p> <p>Simone is widely considered to be the <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-prepares-compete-balance-beam-final-n1275766" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">world’s best gymnast</a> – at the young age of only 24 – <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/simone-biles-prepares-compete-balance-beam-final-n1275766" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tied for the most Olympic record medals won</a> by an American gymnast. </p> <p>She is arguably at the top of her game, <em>how could she be suffering from mental health issues?</em> </p> <p>But she is. And she walked away from one of the biggest athletic competitions in the world in order to focus on her own mental health. On her own terms. And with her head held high. She is not ashamed. <em>Nor should she be.</em> </p> <p>Experts have said that if the 2020 Tokyo Olympics was a measure for her future success and ability to compete – she may have missed her curtain call. But, at the very same time, she is leaving behind a legacy that transcends sports. And she has become a household name.</p> <p>Simone who is a survivor of the USA Gymnastics team’s former doctor, Larry Nassar’s abuse (he was accused of sexually assaulting more than 120 girls. He pleaded guilty to sexually abusing 10 minors in a Michigan court in 2018 and is serving up to 175 years in prison), is now able to speak out against sexual abuse, mental health issues and will represent the shift towards advocating for better safety and better treatment of athletes and coaches alike.</p> <p>And that’s a big deal! </p> <p><strong><em>But if you think Simone is the only athlete to experience mental health issues, you would be sorely mistaken</em></strong></p> <p>According to the article <a href="https://www.healthcentral.com/slideshow/famous-athletes-that-struggle-with-depression" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">10 Famous Athletes Who Struggle With Depression</a>, –</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>”AN </em><a href="https://www.ncaa.org/sport-science-institute/mind-body-and-sport-depression-and-anxiety-prevalence-student-athletes" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>NCAA survey</em></a><em> of athletes found that 30 percent reported feeling depressed over the course of a year. Why? Research from the </em><a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/setting-the-bar-athletes-and-vulnerability-to-mental-illness/E4A39433B58B9A44D821D7A9E2C2D04C" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Northern Ireland Association of Mental Health</em></a><em> suggests competitive failure and other factors can lead to psychological distress”.</em></p></blockquote> <p><em>Our heroes have been crying for a while now, we just didn’t notice. </em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Joe Marler</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Joe_Marler_10243050205-1024x695.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3129"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e3/Joe_Marler_%2810243050205%29.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Joe Marler</a> by Charlie. </figcaption></figure> <p>The Harlequins and England prop was the subject of a Sky Sports documentary <a href="https://www.skysports.com/rugby-union/news/12321/12303342/joe-marler-discusses-battle-with-depression-and-goes-on-journey-to-rebuild-his-mental-health-in-sky-sports-big-boys-dont-cry" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Big Boys Don’t Cry</a> in which he talked openly about learning to cope with his mental health issues and how he battled with mental health in his private life and during his time playing rugby on the international stage.</p> <p>He described how he opened up to his wife and close friends and sought to get help from them in order to better understand what was going on. He saw a psychiatrist, got an evaluation, had several sessions and was put on anti-depressants.</p> <p>He has said that – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“We are required to dominate and intimidate opposing players when we cross the white line on the pitch, we must show no weakness or vulnerability in order to win. But it doesn’t have to be like that off the pitch.”</em></p><cite>Joe Marler</cite></blockquote></figure> <p>Which is completely right. </p> <p>Through Big Boys Don’t Cry, Joe has travelled around the UK to open up the conversation around mental health challenges and meet people along the way who are learning to manage their mental wellbeing.</p> <p><em>Big boys can (and do) cry!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Michael Phelps</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="683" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Michael_Phelps_conquista_20a_medalha_de_ouro_e_e_ovacionado_1036422-09082016-_mg_7107-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3130"/><figcaption><a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/br/deed.en" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcommons.wikimedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFile%3AMichael_Phelps_conquista_20%25C2%25AA_medalha_de_ouro_e_%25C3%25A9_ovacionado_1036422-09082016-_mg_7107.jpg&psig=AOvVaw3VgSa8K4OMqWCplE1z67HT&ust=1629966413444000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAwQjhxqFwoTCJCG_Njjy_ICFQAAAAAdAAAAABAy" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Michael Phelps</a> by Fernando Frazão/Agência Brasil.</figcaption></figure> <p>Winner of 28 Olympic medals, retired competitive swimmer Michael Phelps is considered to be <em>one</em> of the most successful and most decorated Olympians of all time. But at a conference held at <a href="https://www.thekennedyforum.org/livestream/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the Kennedy Forum</a> in 2018 he told a shocked audience that he had contemplated suicide. In a <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">CNN article</a> it was stated that during a discussion with political strategist <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/profiles/david-axelrod" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">David Axelrod</a>, Michael spoke openly about his battle against anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. He admitted to turning to alcohol (in 2004 Phelps was charged with driving under the influence) and drugs (in 2008 just weeks after he had won a record number of eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was photographed smoking marijuana). He admitted that – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Drugs were a way of running from “whatever it was I wanted to run from. It would be just me self-medicating myself, basically daily, to try to fix whatever it was that I was trying to run from.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>But he got help. </p> <p>And has now admitted that by talking about his feelings, <em>“life became easy.”</em></p> <p>He also admitted to something that a lot of us <em>may</em> be guilty of – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I was very good at compartmentalizing things and stuffing things away that I didn’t want to talk about, I didn’t want to deal with, I didn’t want to bring up — I just never ever wanted to see those things,”</em></p><cite>Michael Phelps</cite></blockquote> <p>Sound familiar?</p> <p>Lastly, he said one of the most important things that I think we can take away from <em>his</em> experience – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><strong><em>“It’s OK to not be OK”</em></strong><em> and that mental illness “has a stigma around it and that’s something we still deal with every day. </em><strong><em>I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change</em></strong><em>.”</em></p><cite>Michael Phelps</cite></blockquote></figure> <p>Today, he is making a difference by helping others through the <a href="https://michaelphelpsfoundation.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Michael Phelps Foundation</a> and the <a href="https://www.bgca.org/about-us/our-partners/michael-phelps" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Boys and Girls Clubs of America</a>. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Naomi Osaka</h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1023" height="659" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/naomi-osaka.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3135"/><figcaption> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" height="18" width="18" src="http://lgimages.s3.amazonaws.com/data/imagemanager/23236/cc.png"></a> <a href="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49384180057_963de57e09_b.jpg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Naomi Osaka</a> by Rob Prange. </figcaption></figure> <p>Beating Serena Williams in the 2018 U.S Open Final, 23 year old Naomi has been unveiled by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/brettknight/2021/06/02/naomi-osaka-is-the-highest-paid-female-athlete-ever-and-her-french-open-exit-may-actually-help-her/?sh=8de09591ef8b" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes</a> as the world’s highest-paid sportswoman, making $60 million (with $55 million coming from endorsements) in the past 12 months alone. </p> <p>It is the <a href="https://www.news.com.au/sport/sports-life/champions/naomi-osaka-is-highest-paid-female-athlete-in-history/news-story/e12cc80d12d7febff0d93154990ff6e2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">largest number earned by a woman in history</a>, shattering the single-year earning mark of $45.5 million set by Maria Sharapova in 2015. Naomi has many lucrative deals under her belt with the likes of Nike and Nissan, amongst a host of others. </p> <p>Everyone knows her name. She is well and truly on top of her game. And coining it. </p> <p><em>But is she really?</em></p> <p>Naomi came under fire when she <a href="https://www.self.com/story/naomi-osaka-wont-do-interviews-french-open" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">announced that she would not take part in press interviews</a> whilst at the 2021 French Open resulting in a fine of $15,000 from the tournament’s authorities – which she had hoped would <em>“go towards a mental health charity.”</em></p> <p>In a statement posted on Twitter and Instagram, Naomi said that – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I’ve often felt that people have no regard for athletes’ mental health and this rings very true whenever I see a press conference or partake in one.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>She later went on to withdraw from the tournament altogether citing anxiety and wanting to exercise self-care. She needed time to focus on her mental health. </p> <p>Whilst she suffered a harsh fine due to not abiding by her media obligations, <a href="https://www.rolandgarros.com/en-us/article/statement-from-grand-slam-tournaments-regarding-naomi-osaka" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the Roland Garros authorities warned</a> that if Osaka continued to “ignore her media obligations,” she could incur more violations and risk more extreme fines and even suspensions from further Grand Slam tournaments. They were later <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/tennis-world-condemns-naomi-osaka-treatment-after-she-withdraws-from-french-open/BPW2YIM5LN5BCCPQUSW3SJALEY/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">lambasted for how she was treated</a>.</p> <p>Prominent athletes and celebrities rallied around Naomi with messages of care and support. With Venus Williams even commenting – <em>“So proud of you. Take care of yourself and see you back winning soon.”</em></p> <p>And a truly meaningful message coming from tennis icon Martina Navratilova who tweeted – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“I am so sad about Naomi Osaka. I truly hope she will be OK. As athletes we are taught to take care of our body, and perhaps the mental & emotional aspect gets short shrift”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that’s really the point. </p> <p>People (famous or not) constantly focus on their physical health and wellbeing. As if that’s all that makes up a human being. But there should be more attention on the mental health of society as well. </p> <p><em>Mental health issues are not just a trend. And they should not just be paid lip service. Real action needs to be taken. </em></p> <p>By all of us.</p> <p>In an essay titled Naomi Osaka: ‘It’s O.K. Not to Be O.K.’ in <a href="https://time.com/6077128/naomi-osaka-essay-tokyo-olympics/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Time magazine</a>, Naomi said this – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Life is a journey.</em></p><p><em>In the past few weeks, my journey took an unexpected path but one that has taught me so much and helped me grow. I learned a couple of key lessons.</em></p><p><em>Lesson one: you can never please everyone. The world is as divided now as I can remember in my short 23 years. Issues that are so obvious to me at face value, like wearing a mask in a pandemic or kneeling to show support for anti-racism, are ferociously contested. I mean, wow. So, when I said I needed to miss French Open press conferences to take care of myself mentally, I should have been prepared for what unfolded.</em></p><p><em>Lesson two was perhaps more enriching. It has become apparent to me that literally everyone either suffers from issues related to their mental health or knows someone who does. The number of messages I received from such a vast cross section of people confirms that. </em><strong><em>I think we can almost universally agree that each of us is a human being and subject to feelings and emotions</em></strong><em>.</em></p><p><em>Perhaps we should give athletes the right to take a mental break from media scrutiny on a rare occasion without being subject to strict sanctions”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And those are profound lessons for someone of her tender age. </p> <p>Naomi thanks Michael Phelps for his support stating – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><strong><em>“Michael Phelps told me that by speaking up I may have saved a life. If that’s true, then it was all worth it.”</em></strong></p></blockquote> <p>Naomi later withdrew from Wimbledon as well. </p> <p>Whilst she competed in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she did not perform as expected (or as she had hoped) being knocked out of the women’s singles tennis by Marketa Vondrousova of the Czech Republic.</p> <p>Naomi merely said that <em>it sucked to lose</em>. Which it undoubtedly did. </p> <p><em>We hear you and we get it!</em></p> <p>But Naomi’s move to withdraw from interviews and international tournaments has <a href="https://www.iol.co.za/sport/olympics/athletes-like-simone-biles-ought-to-be-applauded-for-speaking-out-on-mental-illness-6085849b-d439-463e-9f8f-bff82622f32f" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sp</a>arked talks worldwide around mental health – people are being made more aware of the fact that mental health issues do actually exist, that it is not something to be ashamed of and that professional athletes suffer from mental health issues too. Which is an important thing!</p> <p>Naomi’s advocacy for mental health for professional athletes will enable her to encourage others to take their mental health seriously and will help change the industry. For the better. </p> <p><em>And hopefully, influence wider society whilst she is at it.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/2-Small-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3152"/></figure></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">See? Poor mental health affects us all – It’s not just you!</h2> <p>As you can see – <em>even the mighty fall</em>. </p> <p>Whilst it may feel like it sometimes, you are not alone. </p> <p>Many people, famous and everyday people alike, experience mental health issues. But <em>it’s what we choose to do about them that counts.</em></p> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/brain-health/a-game-changer-for-mental-health-sports-icons-open-up" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">A game-changer for mental health: Sports icons open up</a>, they said – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“They had the world’s spotlight shining on them.</em></p><p><em>They had trained for years for this moment.</em></p><p><em>Millions of fans waited to watch them compete and see them hoist a trophy or a gold medal once again.</em></p><p><strong><em>Instead, they used that spotlight to say something few world-famous athletes have ever dared to say out loud: I need to step away from this competition and focus on my mental health.</em></strong></p><p><em>And by doing so, gymnast Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka, basketball player Kevin Love and a handful of others at the pinnacle of their athletic careers </em><strong><em>have helped accelerate a trend that mental health experts at the University of Michigan say is long overdue</em></strong><em>.</em></p><p><em>By being open about what they were experiencing, and not “toughing it out” or stifling their feelings like generations of athletes have had to do, these icons did more than spare themselves injury or defeat.</em></p><p><em>Their public choice to seek help for depression, anxiety, overwhelming stress and other concerns could help athletes at all levels have the courage to seek professional help, and a break from competition if they need it.”</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that is exactly the point – these athletes made a choice. One that benefitted their own safety, their own mental health and their own well-being. And for those that look up to them, it will hopefully educate and encourage society to speak more openly about their own mental health issues. </p> <p>Times are clearly changing. For professional athletes at the top of their games (earning millions), in the midst of worldwide competitions, to stop and also say – <em>Enough. I don’t want this. I am unhappy</em>. Despite fines, loss of earnings or endorsements – speaks volumes. </p> <p>It shows that no one is immune. And that regardless of your position, you have a choice to stand up for yourself, to change your circumstances, to say no, to act in your own best interests, to say enough is enough, to admit that you have a problem. And most importantly, to ask for help. </p> <p>Even when you are a famous sportsperson, even when you are a famous actor, like <a href="https://www.self.com/story/kit-harington-depression-addiction" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Kit Harington</a> (as only one isolated example). </p> <p><em>Even when you are at the top of your game.</em></p> <p>You have choice. Don’t tough it out. Don’t suffer in silence. </p> <p>And know that you can change your situation for the better. </p> <p>As Michael Phelps tweeted – <em>“getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness”.</em></p> <p><em>And isn’t it about time?</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">How you can get help if you’re struggling with poor mental health</h2> <p>Remember, poor mental health can transpire in many forms. From feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed, to feelings of low self-worth, burnout and suicide. Whatever you are experiencing, there is help out there for you. </p> <p>For help with navigating stress and overwhelm , <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">contact Frieda Levycky of Braving Boundaries</a> who will provide the support and guidance you need to bring clarity to the chaos.</p> <p>If you’re thinking about suicide, hurting yourself or struggling with depression, you can get support by calling –</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>LifeLine SA on 0861 322 322 </li><li>Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 12 13 14</li><li>South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 567 657</li></ul> <p>If you’re struggling with drug use or addiction, or know someone who is, you can call Houghton House’s 24/7 emergency helpline on 079 770 7532.</p> <p>Or visit <a href="https://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/drug-alcohol-and-addiction-helplines-south-africa/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">https://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/drug-alcohol-and-addiction-helplines-south-africa/</a> to get referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organisations.</p> <p>This is not about rewinding time to go back in order to make different decisions. No. This is about dealing with the ones you’ve already made. It is about admitting that you are experiencing a problem, it is about saying no to the things you cannot do anymore. And most importantly – it is about asking for help. </p> <p>Remember – <a href="https://theathletic.com/news/michael-phelps-on-simone-biles-mental-health-its-ok-to-not-be-ok/nVaL238ANGo7" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK”.</em></a></p> <p>But you also need to choose to do something about it. </p> <p>If I, Michael, Simone and Naomi can do it. So can you. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Basic-Balance-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3149"/></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-default"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/">It’s not just you – Our sporting heroes struggle with mental health too!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-not-just-you-our-sporting-heroes-struggle-with-mental-health-too/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>