<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>female lawyers Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/female-lawyers/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/female-lawyers/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2022 10:45:24 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>female lawyers Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/female-lawyers/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Finding Motivation at 40</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2021 09:41:30 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivated]]></category> <category><![CDATA[demotivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[extrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling inspired]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your groove]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[intrinsic motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lacking motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate me]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[negative motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[online challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Staying motivated is hard - unless the task you are looking to achieve has a greater, positive purpose. Here's what keeps me motivated.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/">Finding Motivation at 40</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It’s an inside job today!</em></strong></h2> <p>I have been thinking a lot about the term “High-Fliers” recently. And what it really means.</p> <p>This is probably due to the fact that during all this “Lockdown” time I have been indulging in some true RomCom classics, like the Bridget Jones trilogy (it’s an obvious one). Of specific meaning, at least to this particular conversation, is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DFQNPx5sxA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Bridget Jones – Edge of Reason</a>. It’s hilarious. But it is also significant. For a number of reasons. </p> <p>Of particular importance is the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OdXXYKj6rY" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Legal Quiz scene</a> and the discussion between Bridget and Giles Benwick – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote is-style-default"><blockquote><p><em> “<strong>Giles</strong> – You see, there’s the high-fliers, like Annabel and Mark Darcy and there’s the gorgeous girls, like Rebecca there and there’s the rest of us.</em></p><p><em><strong>Bridget</strong> – Like you and me, you mean?</em></p><p><em><strong>Giles</strong> – Absolutely. l mean, look at the state of us. You and me stumbled into the VlP room by mistake and it’s only a matter of moments before they show us the door”. </em></p></blockquote></figure> <p>You see, I have found myself relating more and more to the Bridget’s and Giles’s of the world rather than the high-fliers like Mark Darcy and Rebecca Gillies. Stumbling into the VIP room myself. By mistake of course. And now waiting to be shown the door……</p> <p>So the other day, when I tried to think of who the high-fliers in my circle of friends and colleagues were, there was one name that came to mind immediately – <em>Frieda Levycky</em>.</p> <p>She is the very definition of a “High Flier”. I mean she has done more than most. Climbing mountains whilst achieving Senior Associate status (after only a few years of practice), becoming Head of Global Mergers & Acquisitions by 34, General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36. And always remaining in tip- top physical condition by spending hours in the gym achieving abs of steel (making a lot of us green with envy). </p> <p><em>And that’s a long list of tick items that some of us have yet to tick. </em></p> <p>Whilst I, on the other hand, resemble very much (not because of any illicit drugs but because of a general sense of “WTF”?) Bridget on the beach in Thailand, dazed and confused – <a href="https://tenor.com/view/bridget-jones-renee-zellweger-edge-of-reason-bridget-jones-diary-workingtitlefilms-gif-15268280" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Looking at all the pretty colours</em></a><em>….</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3088"/><figcaption>© 2004 Universal Studios and Studio Canal and Miramax Film Corp.</figcaption></figure> <p>You can imagine my shock, when I heard that Frieda was <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">struggling to find motivation</a> after varying levels of lockdown resulting in months and months of inconsistency and <em>“loss of mojo”.</em> </p> <p>It seems that even the High Fliers had come down to earth to spend a little time with the rest of us. But let’s be honest. Frieda is only human. Not infallible nor super human. </p> <p>She is<em> “just a girl standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a cupcake” </em>kind of girl.</p> <p>Just like the rest of us. </p> <p>And we can all relate. </p> <p>Turning 40 has a way of sneakily creeping up on you. On tippy toes. In the dark. Making no noise at all, until it gets right up behind you and claps its hands.</p> <p><em>FRRRREEEEEAKING you the hell out!</em></p> <p>And with my own sneaky 40 creeping up on me too, I just had to sit down with Frieda to find out <em>what’s what.</em> </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What’s the T girlfriend?</em></strong></h2> <p>So like all girlfriends, Frieda and I got together over a lovely glass of Chardonnay (via Zoom of course) and discussed mojo, the need to find motivation, what can deter you, what can encourage you and of course what turning 40 means….</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3089"/></figure> <p>What set this all in motion was Frieda’s feeling of being a little lack-lustered and struggling to get back to her active self. Being someone who thrives on staying active, who thrives on challenges and who thrives on excelling, she decided to start the “Motivate Me” challenge. She has set out to do a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August – focusing on healthy, positive intrinsic motivation (i.e. internal rewards) rather than focusing on any negativity (which she has done before). </p> <p>She is on day 22 and so far, has had a number of revelations…..</p> <p>But – <em>So far, so good. </em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The struggles of keeping motivated</em></strong></h2> <p>Frieda readily admits that she has historically been motivated and driven by fear and/or pain to succeed (obviously a negative motivation). No one can deny that it got her to the top. Quite quickly. But it also left her with scars and traumas that she has had to deal with over the years. </p> <p>Discovering and admitting that she has previously been motivated by fear and pain, led to a number of truths. <em>Hard truths.</em> </p> <p>As an example, this is the first time Frieda has ever undertaken a challenge or set out to achieve a goal from a positive intrinsic standpoint. And it has proven, in some circumstances, to be difficult. Previously Frieda had always had a clear goal in mind and often ended up taking on too much, justifying to herself that she was working hard to achieve a goal. And she would be rewarded at the end of it by a promotion or financial incentive. She has always been motivated by a long term vision – <em>“this is where I will be in 2 years’ time”. </em></p> <p>So undertaking something that was purely focused on her. Something that was not related to work. Something that actually took time away from her work, not resulting in a promotion or financial gain, left her in a bit of spin. Initially. Having her inner saboteur constantly saying – </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>How could she take time away from work for something personal?</em></li><li><em>Work is more important than personal goals.</em></li><li><em>You have no long-term vision here – what’s the point?</em></li><li><em>You have no real goal here – how will undertaking a yoga challenge benefit your career?</em></li></ul> <p>But through this challenge she has discovered that taking time out for herself has not affected her business, it has not affected her career. In fact, it has improved it all. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3090"/></figure> <p><strong>And the biggest realisation has been – </strong><strong><em>why are we always the first thing that we cross off our “to-do” list?</em></strong><strong> </strong></p> <p>It shouldn’t be this way. And by realising this, Frieda has found motivation in the fact that she does, in fact, have a clear goal which is supported by her purpose to have a healthy work-life balance. Where she can enjoy work as well as her personal time and not feel guilty about either. She is having fun, doing something new every day, excited to be challenged physically – she wants to keep on going. </p> <p>As a perfect example, she had a really tough week where she took on re-drafting a contract which required far more work than she initially realised. It sent her into a bit of a tailspin. Panic rose. And she thought to herself <em>“How can I take time out of my day to do something for myself when there is urgent work waiting?”</em></p> <p>But she forced herself to. Not something she would have done before. And by doing so, discovered – </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Her perspective of what was really important and what was really urgent had changed.</em></li><li><em>She managed to clear her head, enabling her to truly apply her mind. She woke up the next day refreshed, with a renewed outlook and tackled the contract in a way that proved better than had she not taken the time out and slogged on.</em></li><li><em>In fact, had she slogged on, she’d have missed a key structuring point which would have resulted in the contract needing further changes at a later date. By taking time out for herself, she drafted the contract in a far better and more efficient way. </em></li></ul> <p>Putting herself on her own to-do list has, so far, been the biggest achievement of all. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers4-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3091"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What’s working, what’s not?</em></strong></h2> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>What’s working?</em></h3> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>Having a routine has been a saving grace. As routine often is: </strong>By diarising time for her yoga challenge – like any other meeting – it enabled Frieda to take time out. Without the guilt. Have a breather. And come back to her work refreshed, renewed and excited to tackle difficult tasks. Having variety in her routines has also kept things interesting for her. Something Frieda needs in her life. </li><li><strong>Having a yoga instructor is important for her. </strong>Ensuring she shows up – because someone has taken time out of their day to dedicate to Frieda. It is a respect thing. Having accountability to someone is important. It has kept her on track and has kept her committed. The hardest yoga routines are the ones you have to tackle alone. The external motivation and having someone to “answer to” helps her stay on track. </li></ol> <p>But she has also realised that there is a big difference between doing something because you have to – because you have been told to – and doing something because you want to and have someone supporting you. That’s a positive motivation. And one which has kept her going. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3092"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><em>What’s not working?</em></h3> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><strong>The journal reflection exercise has been a challenge in itself!</strong> Having to reflect on her challenge on a day-to-day basis has not been easy. In fact, instead of feeling motivated and excited to document her journey, it has resulted in feelings of stress and anxiety at having to write feelings down daily. And that surprised her.</li></ol> <p>When she travelled abroad, during a time when she experienced an emotional transition in her life, she was able to document her feelings and what she was experiencing. Easily. The journals have served as a great record of this transitional point in her life. And she has looked back on them over the years with a sense of accomplishment and deep meaning. </p> <p>These things shouldn’t be forced. They need to flow easily. Otherwise, they don’t hold the meaning they should. </p> <p>So she has stopped journaling this particular journey and has rather focused on the overall positive impact on her life. With no real need for words.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Her tips to stay motivated?</em></strong></h2> <p>This will be different for each person. We are all motivated differently (read Frieda’s article on motivation <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">here</a>). But for Frieda it has come down to having variety and fun. Being able to enjoy more than one thing during her “me” time. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3093"/></figure> <p>It has come down to making the most out of her time – using it wisely. For Frieda, it has involved listening to audio books whilst on her way to her yoga class: such as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Enneagram-Paths-Greater-Self-Knowledge/dp/1938314549" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge</a> by Beatrice Chestnut (a hugely beneficial developmental framework which provides deeper insight into your personality, motivation and self-limiting beliefs. It helps that Frieda is a trained Enneagram Coach!) and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/154924.No_Shortcuts_to_the_Top" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">No Shortcuts to the Top: Climbing the World’s 14 Highest Peaks</a> by Ed Viesturs and David Roberts (seemingly quite apt during this challenge).</p> <p>By doing more than one of the things she loves in order to meet her work-life balance expectations, she has been able to affirm her core values and by doing so, she is now fully aware of what her core values are – variety, fun, intuition, trust and security. Knowing this enables her to focus her attentions on them in order to improve her overall wellness and life purpose. </p> <p>Let’s face it – “<em>variety and fun are often lacking for a self-proclaimed workaholic”</em> (Frieda’s words). But by doing her yoga every day and listening to her audio books, her need for variety and fun is being met. <strong><em>And when you live in line with your values, you have a purpose. </em></strong></p> <p>And that is an extremely powerful thing!</p> <p>Something she has learnt not only through her 40 day challenge, but something she has also learnt through <a href="https://www.integrative9.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">coaching around the Enneagram</a> (something she highly recommends).</p> <p>Staying intrinsically motivated in line with meeting her core values has really kept her on track. </p> <p><em>And living with purpose is awesome!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Are there saboteurs trying to detract her from her goal?</em></strong></h2> <p>Absolutely!</p> <p>We all have our own inner Judge (someone Frieda met and got well acquainted with in her <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Naked Lawyer</a> article). </p> <p>You know that nagging negative nelly that always brings up your worst fears and deepest insecurities? That’s the culprit.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers7-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3094"/></figure> <p>And Frieda has had this Judge in her head big time during the challenge!</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>You shouldn’t take time out of your working day to do something for yourself!</em></li><li><em>You cannot put your needs before those of your clients! </em></li><li><em>What’s the point? Just be happy with who you are.</em></li><li><em>You have lost a couple of pounds already, so you may as well stop here.</em></li><li><em>You are only planning on doing this for 40 days, so it’s not such a big deal if you quit now.</em></li><li><em>This isn’t paying you, so you should focus on the things that do – like your clients.</em></li></ul> <p>And it took a lot of work to quieten that voice<em>. </em></p> <p><em>But shush it you must!</em></p> <p>Stay focused on your goals, especially when they align with your core values and give you purpose. </p> <p><em>Stay true to yourself and what you need to make your life full of meaning and purpose. </em></p> <p>It is an inside job.</p> <p>Just like Pearl Jam sang in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GNwnMGpW90" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Inside job</a> – </p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“I will not lose my faith</em></p><p><em>It’s an inside job today</em></p><p><em>I know this one thing well”</em></p></blockquote></figure> <p>It is important to remember that you too count. You need to be on your own to-do list. Your internal desires and needs for a fulfilling life are crucial. </p> <p>Do not lose your faith!</p> <figure class="wp-block-pullquote"><blockquote><p><em>“Life comes from within your heart and desire”…</em></p></blockquote></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What has been the real “Aha” moment?</em></strong></h2> <p>Everything is actually ok!</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/motivate-me-life-coaching-for-lawyers8-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3095"/></figure> <p>There has actually been no backlash for taking time out to do yoga. The world hasn’t fallen apart because she took 90 minutes out of her day to focus on her inner wellbeing. </p> <p>Work is getting done, even better than before, in a shorter period of time thanks to her renewed energy and focus. There is no one throwing their toys out the cot. No one shouting at her because she has taken time out of her day to do something for herself. In fact, most of her clients have been supportive, asking about the challenge and wanting to join. </p> <p><em>Now that’s a revelation for any professional…. The world doesn’t fall apart in your absence, clients don’t have conniptions and work still gets done. I mean, who would’ve thunk it? </em></p> <p>There will always be this fear that if you change something in your life, you have to give up something else. But that simply isn’t true. A sacrifice for the betterment of your life, is not always required. Both literally and figuratively…</p> <p>And that’s hard to remember. Especially during uncertain times, like COVID, lockdowns and looting. You always seem to default back to your old ways – the Judge firmly sitting on the bench in your subconscious. </p> <p>It is impossible to foresee all the difficulties you will face. In life in general really. </p> <p>There will always be self-awareness work that you will need to do. Working on yourself, facing your uncertainties, challenges and insecurities head on.</p> <p>Remembering to always take deep breaths.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>And on turning 40?</em></strong></h2> <p>It’s really just a number. Truthfully.</p> <p>And by doing the work (on an ongoing basis), especially at 40, <em>instead of running for the hills you will learn to dance with your inner Judges as they come along.</em></p> <p>Finishing off our Zoom “fireside” chat (it is winter after all) and our respective glasses of Chardonnay, we come to one more conclusion (over a lot of laughter and toasts to our good health) – we absolutely agree with Bridget Jones!</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3QgZ5G72EM" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>“Smug – well it’s about time. So maybe just a little”.</em></a></p> <p>About time for what you may ask?</p> <p>For putting ourselves first. And not feeling guilty about it. </p> <p>For embracing our 40 year old status with excitement and joy! After all, just like a fine wine, you always get better with age. Remembering of course to store your bottles of wine well and ensuring you make yourself a priority! </p> <p>So, yeah, maybe we are being a little smug about that. <em>Because it’s about time!</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="http://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/feeling-demotivated-cta.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3096"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/">Finding Motivation at 40</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/finding-motivation-at-40/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2021 19:09:10 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> 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<category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost your mojo]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate me]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivate yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[negative motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[online challenge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3026</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved. […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>I’m one of the most active and motivated people I know. In my entire 39 years on this planet, I’ve moved. I’ve crawled, walked, run, climbed, hiked, cycled, skied, jumped, leaped, launched, rolled and tumbled – not always in the prettiest of fashions – But I have constantly been active. Constantly pushed myself. Constantly achieved.</p> <p>So, the last 18 months have come as a bit of a shock. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated1-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3034"/></figure> <p>When lockdown hit and South Africa was thrown into a 6-week complete shutdown (we were only capable of leaving the house for shopping or a medical visit), my body gradually shut down too. </p> <p>Week 1 commenced by running around the house 20 times a day, a 45 minute cycle on the indoor bike whilst watching Top Gun; and an hour Tae Bo session with Billy Blanks dressed in 80’s garb. But the motivation rapidly dwindled.</p> <p>I had assumed that once the mountain re-opened, I would be back out on the Cape Town trails. Motivation fully resumed (after all – I had put on a couple of lockdown pounds). I did get back out there – sporadically. And loved it when I did. But I struggled to regain any form of consistency. </p> <p><em>What the heck was going on? This just wasn’t like me! The things that used to motivate me: staying slim; being the best; achieving the impossible – just weren’t incentivizing me anymore!</em></p> <p><strong><em>I know that I’m not alone in this demotivation journey. </em></strong></p> <p>But whether you are struggling to get out of bed in the morning; to find motivation to complete work tasks; to exercise or stick to healthy eating plans – that lack of motivation is adding an extra layer of stress to what is already an uncertain and anxiety-fueled world at present.</p> <p>So, I thought I’d write this article to share my realisations around my personal motivations over the last couple of months; and set out some new methods I’m testing to motivate myself to get back into exercise. Hopefully it will provide some food for thought with your own motivation struggles.</p> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>My worries around exploring the topic of motivation</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated2-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3035"/></figure> <p>I’m going to preface this article by saying that I was reluctant to look into my lack of motivation for fear of confirming a long-term belief I’ve held about success, drive and motivation. For years, I’ve believed that in order to be successful, you have to be driven by fear and/or pain. I’ll use myself as an example:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 1</strong></h3> <p>Back when I was a teenager, a close family friend stopped speaking to me for three years. It was a difficult time. Emotions were heightened. Feelings were not discussed. And silly things were said out of pain and guilt. One of the last things said to me before the hiatus was that I wasn’t good enough to be a lawyer or to go to Harvard. </p> <p>As a result, although subconsciously, I spent the next 15 years constantly striving; working hard; stretching myself to be the best I possibly could in my career to prove them wrong. By the time our differences were resolved, that negative motivation was firmly entrenched. It drove me up the career ladder at full speed: achieving Senior Associate after 4 years of practice; Head of Global Mergers & Acquisitions by 34; General Counsel by 35 and Partner by 36.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Negative motivation: Example 2</strong></h3> <p>I grew up in the 80s/90s where the perverse notion that every woman needed to be a Size 0 or Size 00 was flaunted through every form of media. If you weren’t skeletal, then you were not attractive. The horror of being anything larger than a UK Size 10 was just not acceptable in society. You were a failure. Media in the 90’s certainly did women’s self-esteem a world of good! </p> <p>Once again, negatively motivated, I became obsessed with food and exercise. I ate like a mouse throughout university to try and control my weight – much to the horror of my poor housemate. I tried every faddy diet under the sun; from Atkins to the South Beach Diet to some weird concoction of cayenne pepper, lemon juice and maple syrup! </p> <p>As I stumbled through my 20s, my obsession with food was replaced by exercise. I trained for at least an hour every single day; if not twice a day. Running off the calories that I’d consumed. Woe betide I missed a day of exercise – the negative self-talk banshee would be there in full force. </p> <p>My most extreme was when I was a trainee solicitor living in Hong Kong. For those of you who have ever done a stint in Hong Kong, you’ll understand the concept of the “<em>Hong Kong Stone</em>”. Hong Kong is a city that never sleeps. As trainees / young associates we worked hard and we played even harder. Countless nights did we leave Jardine House at midnight; begin our walk home up the escalators to Mid-Levels and undoubtedly bump into someone we knew – which resulted in a detour to Lan Kwai Fong. For 8 months I survived on about 3 hours of sleep a night; a lot of alcohol and early morning breakfasts at the <em>Flying Pan</em>. It was certainly the most unhealthy lifestyle I’ve lived. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/hong-kong-skyline-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3063"/></figure> <p>But, the fear of the Hong Kong Stone – the fear of not being attractive – motivated me every day to be at Pure Fitness at 6am. I spent an hour sweating on the cross trainer or running machine (clocking off season after season of the OC and One Tree Hill) before heading to the office for another long stint. And it worked: my abs were rock hard and into those skinny Size 8 jeans I slipped. The negative motivation once again worked.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Can you be successful without negative motivation?</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="711" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated5-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3038"/></figure> <p>So, fast-forward to 2020 – a time where I have:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>worked through all my historical traumas</li><li>worked on my self-confidence</li><li>become a lot kinder to myself</li><li>placed less emphasis on the way I look</li><li>developed a happy and loving relationship</li><li>created and started to live the lifestyle I love and want</li></ul> <p>I realized that I am no longer fueled by fear and negativity. And there rose the fear / resistance to look into this. What if my theory that you can only be successful if driven by fear/pain was true? Where does that leave me? How could I motivate myself if I was no longer in pain?</p> <p>So, let’s take a look at what motivation is and how it can transpire in our day to day lives.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What is motivation?</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated3-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3036"/></figure> <p>Motivation is “<em>the reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way</em>” (Oxford English Dictionary). </p> <p>In other words, motivation is why we do what we do. It’s our underlying driver, our reason, our purpose for taking action and behaving the way we do. It also explains why different people are motivated by different things.</p> <p>Motivation falls into two main categories: <strong>Intrinsic motivation </strong>and<strong> extrinsic motivation</strong>, and both of those types can be expressed in a positive way (<em>reward</em>) or a negative way (<em>punishment</em>).</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Intrinsic motivation</strong> </h3> <p>Intrinsic motivation refers to behaviour that is driven by internal rewards. In other words, you do it because you gain personal joy and satisfaction from the activity rather than doing it because you are influenced by an external factor.</p> <p>An example of intrinsic motivation would be reading a book because you love escaping to a different world through literature. Whereas having to read a book in order to pass your Trusts exam would be an external influence. Granted – if you loved learning Trust law then this would constitute intrinsic motivation – but, for me – aie, aie aie! – I was glad to get those books off to the charity shop!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Extrinsic motivation</strong> </h3> <p>Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, refers to behaviour driven by an external factor. This could be in the form of an external reward (i.e. I get something from someone else as a result of completing the activity) or an external punishment (i.e. I avoid something as a result of completing the activity).</p> <p>A few examples of extrinsic motivation are as follows:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>If I work hard, I’ll get a promotion / salary increase from my company (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I use my American Express card, I’ll get frequent flyer miles (<em>reward</em>).</li><li>If I comply with my fiduciary duties as a director, I won’t get fired or put in jail (<em>punishment</em>).</li><li>If I clean up the house, my flat mate won’t get mad and yell at me for being untidy (<em>punishment</em>).</li></ul> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Positive and negative motivation</strong></h2> <p>As you can see from the examples given above, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation can be expressed both in a positive or negative way. </p> <p>Using the desire / need to get back into exercise as an example, the diagram below highlights some possible intrinsic and extrinsic motivations which could trigger action. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Motivation-diagram-1024x1024.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3028"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Which style of motivation is better?</strong></h2> <p>Each style of motivation has the ability to move a person forward, but it is questionable whether extrinsic and negative motivation is sustainable.</p> <p>The “carrot and stick” approach – i.e. dangling rewards (such as the promise of a pay rise) or the threat of punishment (such as the fear of being fired) may increase motivation short-term, but eventually the influence of that motivation will wear off. For example, you’ll see in the corporate context, unless intrinsically motivated, staff will choose to leave unhealthy work situations even if there are prospects of a promotion or pay rise.</p> <p>And when it comes to intrinsic motivation, although negative intrinsic motivation may be an effective source of motivation, it is evident that it has detrimental consequences on an individual’s mental health: their self-confidence, self-worth and their value. </p> <p>Looking back on the two scenarios I highlighted at the beginning of this article, it’s clear that negative extrinsic motivation and negative intrinsic motivation fueled my own action, in so many aspects of my life. Especially when I was younger. It also had the effect of highlighting the fact that negative motivation and extrinsic motivation (whether positive or negative) are not sustainable forms of motivation in the long term. </p> <p>Unless our motivation is aligned with our personal values & beliefs, and there is a true internal benefit to us in performing the actions necessary – creating long-term, sustainable habits and practices and achieving long-term goals is always going to feel out of reach. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Finding some healthy and positive intrinsic motivation</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/motivation-quote-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3069"/></figure> <p>With all this research at my fingertips, I’ve decided to try and incentivize myself back into a consistent exercise routine from a stance of positive intrinsic motivation.</p> <p>As you can imagine, there are a variety of tools and techniques that can be found dotted around the internet suggesting ways in which to develop positive intrinsic motivation.</p> <p>I’d be a fraud if I were to tell you how to do it. Considering I’ve never tested it out for myself. So, instead I’ve pulled together various elements of the research I found to form the backbone of my experiment:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Set a challenge which is not too easy and not too hard</strong></strong></p> <p>The theory is that a challenge is a good incentive to move you into action. But – you don’t want the challenge to be too easy – you’ll get bored; nor too hard – you’ll get disillusioned (<em>The Goldilocks Rule – a challenge that is “Just right”</em>).</p> <p>So, with my 40<sup>th</sup> birthday looming just around the corner, I’ve decided to undertake a 40-day yoga challenge from 1 July to 11 August. I will finish (all going according to plan) the day before my birthday.</p> <p>This challenge for me is a stretch. But it is also something I know I am capable of as I have completed a 40-day challenge before! Granted, it was 12 years ago!</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Understand the positive internal benefits of taking on this challenge:</strong></strong></p> <p>I’ve worked through a number of questions (see worksheet attached) to really tap into why I want to get back into yoga, the benefits it will bring to me, and the saboteur tendencies that are likely to try and derail me.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><strong>Journal</strong></strong></p> <p>I’m certain that this challenge is going to be far from easy. But to keep track of my progress, I’ve committed to keep myself accountable by documenting this journey in my journal. </p> </div> </div> <p></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Will I re-find my yoga mojo? </em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/how-to-keep-motivated6-1024x711-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3039"/></figure> <p>I honestly don’t know. I’ve never consciously motivated myself this way before. But, I’ll keep you updated on social media over the next 40 days. So, stay tuned!</p> <p>If you are in need of some motivation to kickstart a lifestyle change or reach a goal, and you’d like to join me on the “Motivate Me” challenge – by all means do so. </p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Identify your 40-day goal / challenge</li><li>Determine your intrinsic motivation (download the worksheet below)</li><li>Grab yourself a journal and be ready to note down your daily progress.</li></ul> <p><em>We’re all in this together. </em></p> <p>I can honestly admit, hand-on-heart, that I don’t have the answers. But I’ll tell you one thing – I’m prepared to try something new!</p> <p>After all: <em>“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”</em> – Thomas Jefferson.</p> <p>Success motivated from a place of happiness – well, who wouldn’t want that!</p> <p>[et_bloom_inline optin_id=”optin_2″]</p> <p></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/">Motivate me: What to do when you’ve lost your mojo!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/motivate-me-what-to-do-when-youve-lost-your-mojo/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace – breaking the glass slipper, ceiling & cliff</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2021 06:53:05 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assumptions about women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[breaking the glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[broken rung]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[cinderella]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[entitlement gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lead]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[females]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender equality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[girls supporting girls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass cliff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[great leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male supporters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[strong leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the glass slipper]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the real world glass slipper]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unconscious bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woke]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woman boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in the workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women supporting women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working moms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mums]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2894</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Climbing the corporate ladder for female leaders still remains overly complex. It's time to break the glass ceiling & glass cliff for good.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace – breaking the glass slipper, ceiling & cliff</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p><strong>Article 3 of 3 in the <em>Female Leadership</em> series</strong></p> <h6 class="wp-block-heading"><em>CO-WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY (<a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a>) & ALICIA KOCH (<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a>)</em></h6> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Think back to when you still played with dolls and had tea parties with your teddy bears. When we all still believed in magic and talking animals. When we all still watched Walt Disney with a certain sense of belief. And wonder.</p> <p><em>We all wanted to be the heroine in our own stories. We all wanted to be the princesses in our own fairytales.</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2921"/></figure> <p>Take Cinderella as an example. Despite being, for want of a better word, a servant in the beginning of the story, we all still wanted <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY30B9ZMq4U" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">talking mice as friends</a> <em>like her</em>, we all wanted to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSknj15TYuU" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">talk to birds</a> <em>like her</em> and we all wanted to have our own Happily Ever After <em>like her</em>. <em>We all wanted to be Cinderella.</em></p> <p>I mean, why not? At the end of the day she was rewarded for her hard work and strife with one night that changed her life. Forever.</p> <p><em>Swoooooon.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>The fairy tale</strong> – no glass ceilings or cliffs in sight</em></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries11.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries11" class="wp-image-2914"/></figure> <p><em></em>Donned in her one-of-a-kind, exquisite dress and glass slippers (all provided by her magical Fairy Godmother), Cinderella runs down the stairs as the clock strikes 12 (just before her carriage turns into a pumpkin) leaving behind one glass slipper – the <em>only clue</em> to her identity for her one true love to find.</p> <p><em>Umm, hello? Wouldn’t he just recognize her face, her laugh, her voice? Why the glass slipper? And – as an aside – if it fit so perfectly, how did it fall off her foot in the first place?</em></p> <p>Miraculously, prince charming by sheer wit and will alone (<em>whatev’s</em>) finally finds Cinderella, the glass slipper fitting her perfectly (I mean how unique <em>were her feet</em>?) and suddenly he recognizes her. Because of her glass slipper….. not because of her.</p> <p>And they lived<em> Happily Ever After</em>.</p> <p>Simple as that.</p> <p><strong>Preposterous!</strong></p> <p>I mean a shoe cannot be the key to a Happily Ever After, can it? (If so, then Alicia, here is the proof that your shoe fetish has been wholeheartedly justified).</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The real world glass slipper</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2922"/></figure> <p>If we’re really honest – we wanted the happily ever after part. We too wanted to get everything we had ever dreamed of.</p> <p>If we are <em>really, really honest</em>, we dreamt of having our own Fairy Godmother, of wearing the glass slippers and of having our own prince charming sweep us off our feet.</p> <p>We are both romantics at heart….. <em>and naïve.</em></p> <p><em></em>But it was only later that we discovered that stories like Cinderella were not only <em>wholly inaccurate</em>, they were also make believe. They were fairy tales. Some might even say that they were vehicles for keeping women in line – <em>be good, work hard and you will be rewarded with your prince charming. </em>A whimsical tale, which may even dissuade a woman from actually trying to climb the corporate ladder in the first place – <em>why do all that if you only need a prince charming to make you happy?</em></p> <p>And whilst we always had a taste for expensive heels, it was only later in our careers that the “<em>glass slipper”</em> magically appeared in our life. Just not in the way we had always imagined it would.</p> <p>You see, adulthood has a way of poking holes into even the most charming of fairy tales. And even the most innocent of wishes.</p> <p>Reality is no fairytale.</p> <p>So, let’s talk about the <em>“glass slipper”</em> <strong><em>in the real world</em></strong>….</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Problem 1 for females in the workplace: </em><strong><em>The Glass Ceiling</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries5.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries5.png" class="wp-image-2915"/></figure> <p>Not a slipper at all, rather a ceiling. The glass ceiling can be described as an invisible barrier that <em>prevents women</em> from rising to higher ranks within a corporation. And women continue (even in this day and age. Perhaps, especially in this day and age) to struggle to get fair representation in corporate boards and higher management levels <em>because of it</em>.</p> <p>You know you have reached this glass ceiling when lesser qualified individuals than you keep passing you by, smugly being promoted to more senior roles.</p> <p>In fact in a study titled the <a href="https://www.ijrte.org/wp-content/uploads/papers/v8i4/D6923118419.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Impact of Glass Ceiling on Stress, Well-Being, Self-Esteem, Effective Organizational Commitment and Job Satisfaction among Working Women</a>, the following was set out – <em>“even though there is a considerable increase in participation and subsistence of women employees in the workforce, the ingress of women into higher managerial positions remains restricted”</em>.</p> <p>And that was in 2019.</p> <p>It is clear that the glass ceiling is still being fought today. I mean we <em>can</em> <em>see through it</em>. We just <em>cannot break through it</em>. <strong><em>Still</em></strong><em>.</em></p> <p>In our article <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Women leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a>, we highlighted the fact that based on the January 2021 S&P 500 list, women currently hold only 31 of the <em>total CEO positions</em> at S&P 500 companies. That makes up a meager 6.2% of total global top 500 companies.</p> <p>Startling.</p> <p>And we’re certain that a common thread with each of the female CEOs has been to fight tooth and nail for the role. Because they undoubtedly had to work doubly hard for the position. It’s a battle women around the world face in their workplace. No matter how “diverse” their oganisation may claim to be.</p> <p>And don’t forget, the effects of the glass ceiling can be felt long after you have bumped your head against it – year after year. In fact, in the afore mentioned study, the researcher wanted to “<em>throw the light on the need of equality which is only seen in policies / practices, but the fact is <strong>females are not taken as healthy competitors of males in professional roles due to the social taboo & how these things are affecting their performance, job satisfaction, work-life balance, stress levels & their confidence</strong>.”</em></p> <p>In fact, and according to <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/glass-ceiling-effect" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">health line</a>, the realities of inequality in the workplace can have a direct effect on women’s health and well-being. A stalled career and the inability to gain a higher income can leave you with a bundle of mixed feelings, including self-doubt, a sense of isolation, resentment, anger, stress, mood disorders, anxiety and depression. I am certain we have all felt it at one point or another.</p> <p>And whilst women have been chipping away at the glass ceiling for years, there is still <em>a long way to go</em>.</p> <p>However, the important take away is this – being held back <em>because of the glass ceiling</em>, is a <em>reflection on the company you work for</em>. And not on you or your abilities.</p> <p>You <em>can </em>manage the stress, depression and anxiety by talking to someone who understands you, who can listen and provide some guidance, like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> <p>So keep looking beyond that glass ceiling and focus on the stars instead.</p> <p><em>“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star” – W. Clement Stone</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Problem 2 for females in the workplace:</em> <strong><em>The Glass Cliff</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2916"/></figure> <p>Michelle Ryan, a social and organizational psychologist at the University of Exeter, (and the person responsible for coining the phrase the <em>“glass cliff”), </em>described the<em> </em>research-backed phenomenon as when <em>women are promoted to senior leadership positions during a difficult time for a company, when the risk of failure is high. </em>And fail to lead <em>because of it</em>.<em></em></p> <p><em></em>It is a <em>sister phenomenon to the glass ceiling</em> and is seemingly one of the major ways that women can attempt to <em>break through the glass ceiling. </em>Unfortunately.<em></em></p> <p><em>It’s easy to understand why it is likened to a cliff – given the ease in which you can fall off it!</em></p> <p>And the crucial thing with the Glass Cliff is the <em>timing and manner in which women are promoted to leadership positions</em>. Are women only chosen for top positions <em>because of precarious times</em>, because employees are demanding diversity, because their stakeholders are demanding diversity?</p> <p>According to Michelle Ryan and in answer to the above question, (together with her colleague Alex Haslam), the “<em>failure to lead” </em>during difficult times is not <em>due to women being bad leaders, but because they were appointed as leaders when companies were failing themselves</em>.</p> <p><em></em>The conclusion? – <em>if women are only promoted during times of crisis the fact that they fail is <strong>not because they are unable to lead, but because leading in a time of crisis is more difficult</strong> and more precarious than leading when everything is smooth sailing. It’s the circumstance and not the quality of leadership.</em></p> <p>Seemingly obvious.</p> <p><em></em>And what inevitably results from “<em>failing to lead” </em>during these times of crisis is the assumption (and stereotype) that <em>women are unable to lead and are not good in leadership roles.</em></p> <p>Not only nonsense but outright unfair!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The glass cliff and glass ceiling in action</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries8-1.jpg" alt="gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries" class="wp-image-2917"/></figure> <p>I (Frieda) once had a conversation with the senior heads of a global corporation about its lack of diversity in the executive team. Of the 20 members, not a single female was represented. When I pointed out the benefits that qualified and capable women would bring to the team, I was greeted by a roll of the eyes and a sneer: “<em>We’ve tried that twice before and look at how that turned out</em>.”</p> <p>I was pretty astounded by the response. I knew the women who had been appointed to these top positions: both strong, charismatic, clever women. Women who had dedicated the majority of their professional careers to the organization. And when I say dedicated – I mean dedicated. They’d sacrificed time with their families. Worked late into the night. Travelled the world to meet with consumers and staff. These were women whose hard work and integrity I admired. Whose dedication had warranted their promotion.</p> <p>But once they had jumped every hurdle possible to achieve the lofty heights of the executive suite – it became a never-ending battle to stay there. Instead of focusing on the capability, compassion, innovative way of thinking which they had brought to the executive suite, one was cloaked by rumours that she’d slept her way to the top – quite frankly, who cares who she was sleeping with (if she was). She was excellent at her job and deserved a seat at the table. And the other was knowingly promoted into a position outside of her area of expertise at a time when the company was really struggling. <em>Glass cliff – here we come!</em> A year later, she was replaced by a man. Back into familiar territory we go.</p> <p>The cards were written before the executive suite door had even been opened.</p> <p>Despite regaling this information to the senior heads, I’m sorry to say that it landed on deaf ears. The same corporation today still has a leadership team of 20 people – only one of them is a woman.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>So how are the glass ceiling and glass cliff tackled?</em></strong></h2> <p>Not through positive discrimination – that’s for sure! Appointing women to higher ranking positions purely because quotas or external financing require it, doesn’t stop sexist behaviour – it fuels it. Positive discrimination suggests that women need a leg up to get to the executive level. What nonsense! Women deserve to be appointed because of their <em>talents, because of their hard work, because of their perspective.</em> Appointments should be based on <em>merit</em> not gender … or race, sexual preference or religion for that matter.</p> <p><em>So what can we do tackle the glass ceiling and glass cliff?</em></p> <p>It may seem like a <em>“Duh”</em> moment but it’s simple really.</p> <p>It <em>starts</em> by consciously changing the kind of sexist language that is no longer acceptable in the workplace today. And ladies, this applies to us too. We have adopted sexist language into our own daily vocabulary. Language that encourages the unconscious bias that companies have towards women in the workplace. Language that limits a woman’s role within the workplace. Albeit unconsciously.</p> <p>When preparing this blog post, we spoke with a number of our female friends in the corporate world and asked them for examples of recent sexist language used in the workplace. Take a look at the infograph below.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/what-women-dont-want-to-hear-in-the-workplace.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2944" width="660" height="1500"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>These sayings or words may seem somewhat unimportant and petty. Especially when there are bigger issues at hand. But language and <em>how it reflects the role of gender in the workplace, how it can perpetuate the glass ceilings or cause the glass cliffs is crucial</em>. Think about it – <em>“oh it’s that time of the month again” – </em>eluding to the fact that a woman, especially in a senior role, cannot be entrusted to make a sound decision because she is on her period. It’s nonsense. And yet said. So often.</p> <p>These small changes in the workplace, like changing demeanour and changing language can place everyone – male and female – on a level playing field at an earlier stage in their careers. Right from the get-go. And in the right way.</p> <p>But language is only the beginning – how about when appointing women in senior leadership positions, you provide them with the support they require to succeed? Whether that means bigger budgets, more time, more flexibility or the support of others within the company. Whatever it is. They need to be set up to succeed. Not set up to fail. Just like a man placed in the same role. Equality is the goal!</p> <p>Logical. And easy to do. No?</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Breaking through the glass ceiling and cliff: Is there a happy ever after?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries10-Custom.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries10 (Custom)" class="wp-image-2925"/></figure> <p><em></em>There is a great saying: <em>“Teach your daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings.”</em></p> <p>Accurate. And appropriately thought provoking. But we think it goes beyond that..</p> <p>There is no doubt that fairytales have their place – they bring a magical quality to our childhood (and to our dreams) – but (more importantly) we need to teach the younger generation about how the real world works. We need to teach them about the importance of culture and diversity <em>in all aspects of life</em>. About equality. About how language impacts the way we see the world.</p> <p><em>About the realities of glass ceilings and glass cliffs. And not about the romance of glass slippers.</em></p> <p>Through teaching the next generation, we are not only seeking to eradicate inequality at the younger level, we are also bringing awareness to our own language and behaviour; to our own unconscious bias.</p> <p>And perhaps instead of just wearing our glass slippers, we can take them in hand and use them as tools to break the glass ceilings and glass cliffs. Turn the fairytale into something more empowering. We don’t need a prince to be our “happily ever after”. What we <em>do </em>need is awareness, strength of character and moral aptitude to do better. Be better.</p> <p>After all – isn’t that what a fairytale is for – showing you how good life could be? Well then, be rewarded for your hard work and strife. Take that darn shoe (glass or otherwise) and walk forward, looking ahead. Your head held high. Because you don’t need to rely on a fairy Godmother to make your dreams come true. <em>You have yourself for that!</em></p> <p></p> <p><strong>Other articles in the <em>female leadership</em> series:</strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Article 1: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – WHY ARE WE SO FEW?</a><br><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Article 2: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – HOW DO WE BREAK THROUGH?</a><br><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">Article 3: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – BREAKING THE GLASS SLIPPER, CEILING & CLIFF</a></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace – breaking the glass slipper, ceiling & cliff</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Naked Lawyer: When I met my Judge!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 29 Apr 2021 08:02:39 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[body image]]></category> <category><![CDATA[body worries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[camping with dogs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[clothing optional]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[insecurities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment detox]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment free]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment free zone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[klipfontein]]></category> <category><![CDATA[land cruiser]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lessons learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category> <category><![CDATA[naked]]></category> <category><![CDATA[narrow mindedness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[naturist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[naturist campsite]]></category> <category><![CDATA[no judgment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[nudist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open minded]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open mindedness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open-mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open-minded]]></category> <category><![CDATA[outdoor camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive intelligence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[rustic camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[saboteurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-compassion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-conscious]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-imposed limitations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[south africa camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[tulbagh]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Meet the Naked Lawyer (and her Judge)! Welcome to camping with a twist - where clothing is optional and an open mind is a necessity.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/">The Naked Lawyer: When I met my Judge!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>I’ve thought long and hard about whether or not I should write this article. Ironically, for fear of judgment. And rejection. But I’ve learned some important lessons about myself over the last 4 days. And I always believe it is important to share those important lessons when learnt. </p> <p>So, here it goes.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"></h2> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Camping with a twist</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2-1024x768.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2827"/></figure> <p>The 27 April is a Public Holiday in South Africa – <em>Freedom Day </em>– a day which commemorates the country’s first democratic elections after the apartheid era. This year it happened to fall on a Tuesday, so we decided to make a long weekend out of it.</p> <p>As some of you know, we have recently bought an old Land Cruiser which is fully kitted out with a roof top tent and awning. We both love traveling and exploring new locations, but feel guilty leaving our 3 rescue dogs behind. The land cruiser was an ideal solution. And last weekend was the perfect opportunity for our first adventure.</p> <p><em>And what an adventure it was!</em></p> <p>As is typical for us, we ended up leaving arrangements to the last minute. Having trawled through the internet for dog-friendly campsites and contacted numerous agents for assistance, we managed to find a beautiful campsite in <a href="https://www.booking.com/hotel/za/klipfontein-farm.en-gb.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Klipfontein, Tulbagh</a>, about 90 minutes outside of Cape Town. The pictures looked beautiful. There was tonnes of space for the dogs to run. And it was a no kids’ zone! Perfect when you have dogs who use children as ten-pin bowling practice!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>The </strong><strong><em>bare</em></strong><strong> necessities</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/3-1024x768.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2828"/></figure> <p>The booking confirmation came through and immediately my face flushed red: “<strong>CLOTHING OPTIONAL</strong>”. And you’d think as a lawyer I would have read the small print! How was I going to explain this?!</p> <p>Now, one thing you should know about me is that, when embarrassed, my reaction is to burst out laughing (you’ll see how inappropriate this trait is later) – and this had me in fits. I awkwardly explained to Justin what I’d done and – to my surprise – he took it in his stride: <em>“<strong>Best give the dogs’ nails a trim then</strong>”! </em></p> <p>So, after having a good giggle about the error of my ways with a few of our close friends, we headed off to Tulbagh. The car was full to the brim: dog beds, tables, cooking equipment and ironically two full suitcases of clothes. Well, it did say clothing was optional – and I fully intended to embrace this option!</p> <p>As we arrived, I could already feel the nervous laughter rising from the pit of my stomach. <em>“<strong>Just behave Frieda. Nudity is a perfectly natural state</strong>”</em> – I said to myself. But, frankly, nothing can prepare you for walking around a corner smack into a very naked man. Especially when he is a stranger. I burst out laughing! Oh my goodness, I had no idea where to look. Fortunately, I could pass off the laughter as fright from the collision. But thank heavens for my COVID mask! </p> <p>The gentleman was super kind and found the owners for us who, in turn, explained the layout of the campsite, fetched us firewood, came to meet the dogs, and helped us locate a braai pit (barbecue pit for non-South Africans). </p> <p>We explained to them that this was our first time venturing into a naturist campsite and that we hadn’t actually realised it was an <em>au natural </em>camp at the time of booking. They were incredibly kind and re-emphasised the fact that clothing was optional. <em>No one would judge</em> <em>us </em>if we chose to keep our clothes on. Or if we braved taking them off. There was 50 hectares of land so we could be as secluded as we liked. </p> <p>But, the toilets, showers and wifi were only located in the main campsite. Where every other naturist would be….</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Shaken but not stirred!</strong></h2> <p>I must say, having got the initial interaction out of the way, my discomfort levels rapidly decreased. We did opt for a secluded spot under the willows opposite the main campsite. Partly for the dogs. But mainly to ease ourselves into these new surroundings. </p> <p>Having established camp, we ventured into the main campsite to familiarise ourselves with the lay of the land. No sooner had we arrived, we were offered pancakes and a beer, asked if any assistance was required, and engaged in conversation. </p> <p>The openness and friendliness of the camping community was quite different to our normal camping experience. Usually, people tend to acknowledge each other by a nod of the head, but generally try to avoid engaging in social niceties. This was a refreshing change. And the conversation was a lot more honest and open because <em><strong>eye contact was consciously maintained!</strong></em> (But yes, I couldn’t resist having a peek or two – oh come on, so would you!)!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Meeting my judge</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/4-1024x768.png" alt="The Naked Lawyer - When I met my Judge!" class="wp-image-2829"/></figure> <p>By Day 2, we’d plucked up the courage to give it a whirl. The sun was shining. We were in our secluded spot. We felt safe. And if we weren’t going to experience this now, then when were we ever going to? So off came our clothes! </p> <p>It felt so foreign and triggered every single one of my insecurities:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>“What would people say if they find out?”</li><li>“What would they think of me?”</li><li>“How is this going to damage my reputation?”</li><li>“People are going to think I’m weird!”</li><li>“You’re no Cindy Crawford! Keep your clothes on and don’t go and offend society!”</li></ul> <p><strong><em>Isn’t it amazing how harshly we judge ourselves, each other and uncomfortable situations</em>? </strong>All those negative assumptions that we carry around with us. We are so conscious of what other people think about us that I can only imagine how often our “judge” prevents us from trying out new things or stepping outside of society’s expectations.</p> <p>But rather than reaching for my clothes, I pushed myself to see how long I could last. I’m in a fortunate position to be training in <a href="https://www.positiveintelligence.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Positive Intelligence</a> at the moment – which directly explores the limitations which our Judge and supporting saboteurs impose on the way we see the world. As such, I have a tonne of exercises that I can tap into to calm my survival brain (which encourages fight, flight or freeze actions) and activate my PQ brain which views things from a much more empathetic, curious, creative, fearless and clear-headed perspective.</p> <p>Yes, the first few conversations were a little awkward, but gradually the discomfort of seeing multiple naked bodies dissipated. It wasn’t threatening, sexual or perverse – which is (admittedly) what I had sub-consciously expected. It was a judgment-free community which had erased all of societies airs and graces. </p> <p>These people were comfortable with who they were. They were comfortable with their bodies – which crossed all dimensions of society: race, size, culture, age, gender. There was no automatic assumption of positions or the status you held in society by the clothes you wore. <strong><em>Everyone was on a level playing field – something which we rarely experience in this day and age.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Judging others: It says more about you</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/5-1024x768.png" alt="Meeting your judge" class="wp-image-2830"/></figure> <p>The weekend not only opened our eyes to a new experience, but it also shed light on how I judge myself and others around me. And I should say that I consider myself to be pretty open-minded. The lessons I learned were the following:</p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p></p> <p><strong>I’m a lot less concerned about my cellulite when the rest of my body is on show!</strong> My body is also in pretty good nick – so I should probably embrace that!</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Honest and powerful conversations come when you make eye contact.</strong> Granted, I was consciously conversing at eye level – but my goodness, I realised how little we actually look people straight in the eye when we talk to them. We are forever scanning people. Looking around. Multi-tasking whilst having a conversation. Rarely do we focus just on the conversation at hand. Try it out – you’ll see the difference.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>We assume so much about a person based on how they dress</strong>; what they do; where they live; what car they drive etc. We form our first impressions of people within a <a href="https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-many-seconds-to-a-first-impression" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">blink of an eye</a>. Quite literally within 1/10 of a second! Most of the time our assumptions dictate whether or not we invest in a conversation. I’ve learned so much about the people I met this weekend because societal indicators were removed.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>We make judgments about situations that are foreign to us. </strong>The minute we exit our comfort zone and try something new, our brain also steps out of its comfort zone. It struggles to compute the new pattern of activity and switches into “survival mode” in order to protect us. By calming our brain and seeing the situation for what it is – a learning opportunity – we are able to step out of this fight, flight or freeze mode and become less judgmental.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-10 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>It’s strengthened my relationship. </strong>Both of us were outside of our comfort zone this weekend and our insecurities were triggered. But we laughed, talked openly, listened and supported each other. We return to our daily lives more aware and more open-minded.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What’s your judge preventing you from doing?</strong></h2> <p>The above story is intended to highlight how our own self-judgment, the judgment of others and judgment of situations keeps us trapped in the status quo. Our judge narrows our perspective, holds us back from trying out new things, and makes implementing any desired change in our lives ten times harder.</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Imagine being able to take time off work without feeling guilty.</li><li>Imagine being able to try a new hobby without fear of criticism.</li><li>Imagine being able to date without fear of rejection.</li><li>Imagine being able to voice your opinion without fear of repercussions.</li></ul> <p><strong>So ask yourself this:</strong></p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>What assumptions / judgments do you hold about yourself, about others and about certain situations?</li><li>Are those assumptions / judgments valid? Or are they triggered out of fear? Or are they triggered out of your own insecurities?</li><li>What is your judge preventing you from doing? What desired changes in your life is it preventing you from making for fear of negative consequences?</li></ul> <p><strong>We all have a judge in us. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.</strong></p> <p><strong>Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know yours, so that you can reduce its power? </strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/naked-lawyer-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2823"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/">The Naked Lawyer: When I met my Judge!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>8</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2021 18:34:44 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assumptions about women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[broken rung]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[entitlement gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lead]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[females]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender equality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[girls supporting girls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass cliff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[great leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male supporters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[strong leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unconscious bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woke]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woman boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in the workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women supporting women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working moms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mums]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>How do bring more female leaders into senior positions? It's time to be inspired. It's time to be brave not perfect.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/">Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p><strong>Article 2 of 3 in the <em>Female Leadership</em> series</strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>In our <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">last article</a>, we discussed barriers women face in the workplace. Things like the <em>broken rung effect</em> and the <em>entitlement gap</em>. Each explaining why there are so few women in senior roles in the workplace – a type of unconscious bias (both by women caused by societal ideas of the broken rung and the entitlement gap as well as the subliminal bias of their male counterparts) that women don’t belong in senior level positions.</p> <p>But we couldn’t disagree more – women have so much to bring to the workplace. Offering different benefits and positive additions to the workplace. </p> <p><em>This is <strong>not</strong> a male vs female thing. </em></p> <p>Rather it is women and men working together – with equal pay, equal say and equal standing in the workplace. Even in senior roles.</p> <p>Unfortunately, it just appears that women haven’t been given the “leg up”. And there is still a disconnect, despite surveys and studies to the contrary, between the notion that women offer a great deal to the organisations that they work for and there just not being enough women in real leadership roles in the workplace to take any guidance or motivation from.</p> <p>We are seemingly short of role models……</p> <p>The song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv-0mmVnxPA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">“Let the River Run”</a> by Carly Simon comes to mind – </p> <p><em>“We the great and small</em></p> <p><em>Stand on a star</em></p> <p><em>And blaze a trail of desire</em></p> <p><em>Through the darkening dawn”</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>And I am not sure about you but I am suddenly imagining Melanie Griffith in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_Girl" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working Girl</a> commuting to New York City in her sneakers!</p> <p>And it is this movie that, in at least some ways, firmly represents what it means to break-through in the workplace. To become the person you know you are meant to be. Despite any previous notions to the contrary.</p> <p>And it is the most obvious example I can use in not only setting the tone for this article but also highlighting what we already know – we deserve to be here. We deserve to be in senior roles. We deserve to succeed.</p> <p>Working Girl, in my opinion, remains a timeless example of the working woman – women that are fierce, passionate, courageous and resilient all at the same time. Possibly ahead of its time (in its messaging), Working Girl celebrated the bravery and ambition it takes to <em>maintain your values while fighting for a place in a system that isn’t designed to accommodate you</em>. The real love story isn’t between Tess and Jack or even Tess and her job—<strong><em>it’s in the love and belief Tess has for herself </em></strong>(<a href="https://film.avclub.com/working-girl-s-message-is-timeless-even-if-the-hair-an-1841193320" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working Girl’s message is timeless, even if the hair and the shoulder pads aren’t</a>)<strong><em>.</em></strong></p> <p>And following on from Tess’s realisation, women need to believe that they are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we are able to achieve more than what we have been led to believe (both by society and ourselves). We may think that we are alone and that we cannot breakthrough the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">glass ceiling in the workplace</a> (something we will also be discussing in our next article – watch this space). But that simply isn’t true. Even if we cannot see it. </p> <p>And therein lies the seemingly obvious realisation – there are just not enough women in any industry to show us that <em>we can</em> – there are not enough role models to show the younger generation of women what is possible. What they can do. Who they can become and what they can achieve. </p> <p>But we can change that….</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="female-role-models-in-the-workplace-just-a-few-shining-examples"><strong><em>Female role models in the workplace (just a few shining examples) – </em></strong></h2> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace2-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2736"/></figure> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="alyssa-carson"><strong><em>Alyssa Carson</em></strong></h3> <p>The 19-year-old astronaut in training who is on a mission to become the youngest person ever in space and one of the first people on Mars, graduated from the Advanced Space Academy at 16-years-old, becoming the youngest person ever to do so. </p> <p>In an interview conducted by <a href="https://www.thefemalelead.com/post/meet-the-teenage-astronaut-in-training-on-a-mission-to-mars" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Female Lead</a>, Alyssa was asked one question which has seemingly stood out – <em>When you first decided to train as an astronaut, did you have any preconceptions as to what one looked like?</em></p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“When I was younger I didn’t really have much of an idea of who astronauts were and I think that’s the biggest issue – so many kids are interested in space and haven’t always seen visible representation in the media, like women and younger people. One thing for me that I’ve been trying to change is to encourage younger people who are interested in space to go for it at any age. The youngest person, in the USA, to fly to space was 32 and I always just thought why is that. Of course, you have to do the training and attend University but why have we never sent anyone younger.</em></p><p><em>I think the next steps should be to get </em><strong>more women involved in the industry </strong><em>– which is already happening and is amazing to see – but also to capture the younger generation in this. </em><strong><em>Seeing more females of all ages working in the various roles throughout the space industry would be amazing</em></strong><em>”</em>.</p></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Alyssa was then asked – <em>How important are female mentors to you? </em>And her obvious answer was – </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“</em><strong><em>Really important</em></strong><em>. So many female mentors have made me think that what I want to do is definitely possible”.</em></p></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="jacinda-adhern"><strong><em>Jacinda Adhern</em></strong></h3> <p>Jacinda is the 40 year old New Zealand politician who has been serving as the 40th prime minister of New Zealand and leader of the Labour Party since 2017. She was first elected to the House of Representatives as a list MP in 2008, and has been the Member of Parliament for Mount Albert since March 2017. In 2017 (and at 37), she was the youngest head of state in New Zealand.</p> <p>Due to her amazing leadership, she will govern New Zealand for a second term after the Labour party secured a historic landslide victory in the general election in 2020, attracting so many votes it could become the first party in decades to be able to govern alone. </p> <p>She is an incredible leader transforming public assumptions about women in leadership, taking her daughter in 2018 to the UN, becoming the first world leader to bring their baby to the UN general assembly. She eliminated COVID-19 in her country announcing in April 2020 that there was no longer any undetected community transmission of COVID-19 and that her country had effectively “eliminated” the virus, with health authorities aware of and able to trace each current case. She banned military-style semi-automatics less than a month after the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/13/they-are-us-christchurch-shooting-victims-remembered-two-years-on" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Christchurch shootings</a>. She became the first NZ PM to march in an LGBTQ+ Pride event. In 2020, she pledged to provide period products to all girls committing to end “period poverty” by giving all school-aged people who have period’s free sanitary products. And those are just some of her highlights. There are so many <a href="https://scroll.in/video/942660/watch-new-zealand-pm-jacinda-ardern-take-less-than-three-minutes-to-outline-two-years-achievements" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">more</a>.</p> <p>But even a woman as highly regarded and as highly accomplished as Jacinda <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/21/jacinda-ardern-i-try-to-turn-self-doubt-into-something-more-positive" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">revealed</a> that she suffers from “imposter syndrome” and she tries to turn her self-doubt into “something more positive”.</p> <p>We can all understand it. No matter how well we do or how high we fly – we still doubt ourselves. An unfortunate result of decades of believing that we are not worthy. </p> <p>But we <em>can</em> overcome all of these doubts and misgivings and turn it into something positive. Just like Jacinda. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="there-are-so-many-other-amazing-female-leaders"><strong><em>There are so many other amazing female leaders – </em></strong></h2> <p>Just take your pick!</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2737"/></figure> <p>There are other women in leadership roles that are shining examples of how women can (and do) succeed – take congresswoman <a href="https://ocasio-cortez.house.gov/about/biography" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez</a> for example, or president of the European Commission <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/ursula-von-der-leyen/?list=power-women&sh=300ff75175d4" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ursula von der Leyen</a>, or CEO of Nasdaq <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/adena-friedman/?list=power-women&sh=2243c2f3245f" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Adena Friedman</a>, or <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/oprah-winfrey/?list=power-women&sh=6c4454965745" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Oprah Winfrey</a> for goodness sake. Or any of the other 100 most powerful women in the world as listed by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/power-women/#2e129b5a5e25" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes</a>.</p> <p>There are many powerful and successful women in senior and leadership roles. </p> <p><strong>We just need to look beyond our own insecurities, our own inabilities and be our own cheerleaders. </strong><strong><em>Believe that we can do it</em></strong><strong>. If the women listed in Forbes top 100 woman can do it, so can we! </strong></p> <p>We just need to look beyond our own fears to see them. <strong><em>And be them.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-women-break-through-in-the-workplace"><strong><em>So how can women “break through” in the workplace?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2739"/></figure> <p>I wish it was as easy as – “Abracadabra”. But it just isn’t.</p> <p>But we need to start somewhere. </p> <p>You often find that success is found outside of your comfort zone. And more so than that – by tackling the things that scare you to the core. </p> <p><a href="https://reshmasaujani.com/about/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Reshma Saujani</a>, founder and CEO of <a href="https://girlswhocode.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Girls Who Code</a>, said that while girls are taught to play it safe, smile pretty and get all A’s, boys are taught to play rough and swing high. <em>“In other words, we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave,”</em> she said in a <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/reshma_saujani_teach_girls_bravery_not_perfection/transcript?utm_campaign=BeepBeepBites%20-%20Nieuwsbrief&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8hrp2DddFfAf2NdFVByHUTn6FGOOYtdO-Tj4iaUlmmZM_y7TTWE3OK83RNrqqYeU-PawWa" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">TED </a>talk. Even when women are ambitious, the socialisation of perfection often leads them to risk aversion, Saujani said. So teach girls bravery,<strong><em> not perfection. </em></strong></p> <p>Leave the perfection to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stepford_Wives_(2004_film)" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Stepford Wives</a>. Spoiler alert – it is science fiction (aka not real and not realistic)!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="because-it-takes-bravery-to-succeed-not-just-being-perfect"><strong><em>Because it takes bravery to succeed not just being perfect. </em></strong></h2> <p>Every successful entrepreneur and business leader <em>did what they were afraid to do instead of just letting the fear rule their personal and professional lives.</em> Often the best way to overcome fear is to acknowledge it. Recognise that the fear is there, but go for it anyway. If we don’t, we may miss one of those serendipitous <em>“aha”</em> moments that could inspire us to take a different approach and, by so doing, achieving greatness. </p> <p>So it comes down to this – if we want to be viewed as equal in the workplace, if we want equal pay and equal opportunity. If we want the recognition that we deserve (and have earned). If we want the working conditions that are favourable to us. If we want to have that work-life blend and not fear having to always “be on”. If we want to simply excel, then –</p> <p><strong><em>We must stand our ground and demand the respect we deserve – and it starts by behaving as if the entitlement gap has been closed and the broken rung has been well and truly fixed. </em></strong></p> <p>Women need to lead by example in order to be role models to other young women entering the work force. </p> <p>In an article by Business News Daily titled <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Key Steps Women Can Take to Be Strong Leaders</a>, the following was set out – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“As each woman in the workplace does her part to work toward gender equality in her workplace, the gaps will slowly but surely close. It isn’t a matter of the different strengths that men and women bring to their careers, but instead </em><strong><em>how we accept the meshing of those strengths to drive companies forward in meeting their goals and setting new ones while achieving individual success</em></strong><em>”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that’s the point really. We don’t want more than men. We just want the same. And it really <strong><em>starts with us simply standing up for ourselves (and each other) and being brave</em></strong>! </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace4.jpg" alt="“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid” – Goethe " class="wp-image-2738"/></figure> <p></p> <p>So let’s do that! <strong><em>Let’s be bold, let’s be brave and let’s succeed!</em></strong></p> <p>In closing, we hope that these quotes will inspire you to do great things (whatever they may be) – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p>“<em>Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” </em></p><cite>Maya Angelou</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done.”</em> </p><cite>Marge Piercy</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” </em></p><cite>– Marie Curie</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.”</em> </p><cite>Atticus</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-11 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/">Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>2</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 08 Apr 2021 09:07:23 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assumptions about women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[broken rung]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[entitlement gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lead]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[females]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender equality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[girls supporting girls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass cliff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[great leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male supporters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[strong leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unconscious bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woke]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woman boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in the workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women supporting women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working moms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mums]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2678</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Women bring unique qualities to leadership teams, and yet women leaders in the workplace remain so few. Let's explore why!</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/">FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p><strong>Article 1 of 3 in the <em>Female Leadership</em> series</strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Gender equality in the workplace is not a new topic of discussion. It has been discussed numerous times before. Seemingly falling on deaf ears. Not surprisingly as women leaders in the workplace are still a minority. And that is a fact.</p> <p>But we want to reiterate before proceeding any further that <strong><em>this is <u>not</u> a gender bashing or anti-men article</em></strong>. Having women in leadership roles and gender equality is not about disliking men or wanting dominion over them. Not at all. It is simply about wanting to be treated fairly and equally, to have equal pay, equal opportunity for senior roles, to have our concerns, our ideas and ourselves (personally and professionally) taken seriously.</p> <p>So let’s start off with the following quote (to set the tone) –</p> <p><strong><em>“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves” – Mary Shelley.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2694"/></figure> <p>If this were 60 years ago the very notion of women being anywhere but in the kitchen would have been the punchline to a joke. But here we are in 2021 and women can be (somewhat) seen in the workplace fulfilling different roles in different industries. Performing very well, actually.</p> <p>But the question, on most (women) people’s lips, is this – <strong><em>how many women are really in senior roles or leaders in companies? Are companies merely paying lip service to the notion of diversity in the workplace?</em></strong></p> <p>According to the <a href="https://www.catalyst.org/research/women-ceos-of-the-sp-500/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Catalyst</a>, and based on the January 2021 S&P 500 list (which is not a static list and is updated annually with women who are counted from the date they officially take their positions), women currently hold 31 of the total CEO positions at S&P 500 companies. That makes up only 6.2%. <strong><em>In total.</em></strong></p> <p>To illustrate how significant these appointments of female CEOs are, <a href="https://fortune.com/2020/11/24/dicks-sporting-goods-new-ceo-lauren-hobart-women-in-business/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">News</a> was made in November 2020 when Lauren Hobart was appointed as Dick’s Sporting Goods CEO, replacing Ed Stack, whose father founded Dick’s in 1948. According to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/women-fortune-500-ceos-reaches-new-high-2020-11?IR=T#a__text_Hobart_s_20appointment_20brings_20the_20number_and_20Linda_20Rendle_20at_20Clorox_" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Business Insider</a>, this <em>appointment was significant</em> enough to note in a lengthy article on the matter. You see, Lauren’s appointment brought <strong><em>the total number of Fortune 500 Companies with female CEO’s to 41.</em></strong></p> <p>Women around the world “applauded” as the numbers rose from a previous “record high” of only 40<strong> female CEO’s. This is said with a certain amount of sarcasm – 41 is really not an adequate number. </strong><em>Is it?</em></p> <p>Honestly, I am not entirely sure that one increase in the number of female CEO’s is worth the applause. Although, as they say – “Beggars can’t be choosers”. A harsh statement to make, but it makes an impact. Especially under these circumstances.</p> <p>Whilst we can acknowledge that the representation of women in senior roles in the workplace is improving, we are still significantly underrepresented. And that is simply not acceptable. Not in today’s times.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But why are women so underrepresented in the workplace?</em></strong></h2> <p>Well there are quite a few contributing factors, including the <em>“broken rung” </em>and the <em>“entitlement gap” –</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace – The “broken rung”</em></strong></h3> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2695"/></figure> <p>According to <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the McKinsey & Company September 2020 article</a>, the representation of women <em>was starting to improve</em>. Most prominently in senior management where the representation of women in senior-vice-president positions grew from 23% to 28%. But those percentages are still terribly skewed and women are once again not filling more of the senior roles.</p> <p>McKinsey claims that it is the <em>“broken rung”</em> that is still holding women back. With women continually losing ground at the first step up to becoming a manager. As an illustration (and putting it into perspective) – for every 100 men promoted to manager level, only 85 women are promoted. As a result, women remain significantly outnumbered in entry-level management, holding only 38% of manager-level positions, whilst men held 62%. With this being the case, women experience an uneven playing (and paying) field leading to persistent leadership gaps in senior roles.</p> <p><strong><em>You see, gender diversity is simply not a priority to most companies. Especially in times like COVID.</em></strong></p> <p>The McKinsey study showed that prior to COVID, <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Women in the Workplace research</a> had consistently found that women and men left their companies at comparable rates. However, <strong><em>due to the challenges created by the COVID-19 crisis, as many as two million women are considering leaving the workforce</em></strong>.</p> <p>Mothers are more than three times as likely as fathers to be responsible for most of the housework and caregiving during the pandemic. <strong><em>Where is the sharing of the load here</em></strong><em>?</em> In fact (and according to the Study), woman are 1.5 times more likely than fathers to be spending an additional three or more hours per day on housework and childcare. So much so that women who are employed full-time are often said to be working a “double shift.”</p> <p><em>I can hear a collective “Amen sister” as I write that. Because it is the truth, is it not?</em></p> <p>Now women (and mothers in particular), are taking on an even heavier load. The title of the Sarah Jessica Parker movie <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJPKOS9DZeg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">“I Don’t Know How She Does It”</a> springs to mind.</p> <p>It therefore comes as no surprise that one in five mothers who don’t live with a spouse or partner, <em>face even greater challenges</em>. It’s enough to want to make you pull out your not so perfectly coiffed hair (which reminds me – I really need to book a colour and blow wave. <em>When I get the chance</em>.).</p> <p>So given these enormous challenges faced by mothers <strong><em>at work and at home</em></strong>, two things should come as no surprise – many mothers are considering downshifting their career or leaving the workforce altogether, and mothers are significantly more likely to be thinking about taking these steps than fathers are.</p> <p>The (additional) problem is this – if these women leave the workplace, there will be even fewer women in leadership roles. And we simply cannot afford that.</p> <p><strong><em>Keeping your head above water nowadays really does feel like swimming against the current. In shark infested waters.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace – The “entitlement gap”</em></strong></h3> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2698"/></figure> <p>A study, which was led by Cambridge psychologist <a href="https://terriapter.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr Terri Apter</a> in collaboration with LinkedIn and the educational charity <a href="https://www.thefemalelead.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Female Lead</a>, came to the startling (but not really surprising) conclusion that <strong><em>women have been socially conditioned to feel less deserving of men</em></strong>. Especially with regards to things such as pay rises, promotions or more suitable conditions (even when you know you deserve it). A phenomenon they term <em>‘the unentitled mindset’</em> or the <em>“entitlement gap”</em>.</p> <p><strong><em>This gap both aptly and accurately describes the difference between the ways that men may be quick to make demands on an employer and how women are reluctant to do so at all.</em></strong></p> <p>According to the survey of 2,000 UK workers (which was conducted as part of the study), the problem is widespread. <strong><em>The results show that 44% of women agree that women feel less entitled to promotions or increased pay in the workplace, with more than a third (35%) saying that they had experienced the entitlement gap themselves or had seen it experienced by others</em></strong>.</p> <p>In addition, men admitted negotiating pay for a new role more often than women (63% compared to 40%), and while nearly half of the men (48%) said they had asked for a pay increase or promotion outside of their annual review, only a third of women (32%) had done the same. And when it comes to applying for a new job, over a third of men (37%) said they would apply for a new role even if they felt that they met approximately 50% of the criteria required, versus just one in four (27%) women admitting to being “brave enough to do so”.</p> <p>Dr Apter has said that this entitlement gap effects women’s mental health, in two important ways –</p> <p>1. anxious energy and constant reflection that goes with knowing that you deserve more status or higher pay or better conditions while wondering whether you really do (imposter syndrome to the max), and</p> <p>2. the risk that the unentitled mindset doesn’t switch off even when you are not facing the specific challenge that activated it.</p> <p>Leading to women, who have been treated badly in one workplace, being reluctant to ask for the status and/or pay they deserve when being offered a position in another workplace. Why? Because instead of owning their value and worth, they feel ‘grateful’ or ‘lucky’ that another company is <em>even interested in them</em>. It’s like having <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/battered-woman-syndrome" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">battered wife syndrome</a> – where women who have suffered from abuse start to believe that that’s all they deserve and lose sense of their self-worth and self-value.</p> <p>Although the entitlement gap impacts our behaviour, the study is keen to highlight that this mindset is not the fault of women – instead, <em>it’s the product of a wider societal problem and the only way to solve this gap is to make society-wide changes</em>.</p> <p><strong><em></em></strong>But that is easier said than done. And just like from the SJP movie, you begin to ask yourself – <strong><em>How do you keep your life together, without losing it?</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But women leaders have so much to offer…</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries2.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2692"/></figure> <p>Again, we want to reiterate that we are not just <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10760207/woke-meaning-definition/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">woke</a> women who are gender bashing our male counterparts without rhyme or reason. We are not just <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/computer-science/liberal-feminist" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">liberal feminists</a> who believe that women are superior to men. No. We believe that women and men are equal. And should be treated accordingly. Both sexes have their own benefits that they bring to the table. Equally important. But not always the same. And we believe that there is space for both sexes in every company.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Why we need more women leaders in the workplace</em></strong></h2> <p class="has-black-color has-text-color"><strong>(Not that this should need explanation, but) <em>Here’s why –</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em><u><a href="https://hbr.org/2019/06/research-women-score-higher-than-men-in-most-leadership-skills" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Harvard Business Review</a></u> (HBR) – Women in leadership positions are perceived as being every bit as effective as men.</em></strong></h3> <p>According to the HBR, in an analysis of thousands of assessments, women were rated as excelling in taking initiative, acting with resilience, practicing self-development, driving for results, and displaying high integrity and honesty. In fact, they were thought to be more effective in 84% of the competencies that we most frequently measure. The conclusion? Women are equally as effective as men.</p> <p>I do sense a communal “Duh” moment here….</p> <p>But the HBR research also echoed that of the Entitlement Gap survey – when women were asked to assess themselves, despite their aptitude and ability to do the job, they are not generous in their own ratings. In fact, they have lower scores than men on confidence ratings, especially when they’re under 25.</p> <p><em></em>But what the HBR research concludes (something we already know) is that it is not a woman’s lack of skill, understanding, capability or competence that holds them back. <em>It is the scarcity of opportunities.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em><u><a href="https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/7-reasons-want-women-workplace/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Centre for Creative Leadership</a></u> (CFCL) – Gender diversity is key for organisations’ bottom lines</em></strong></h3> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2693"/></figure> <p>To further this point, the CFCL has concluded that companies that don’t realise the importance of women in the workplace are missing out. Besides doubling their talent pool, more women may also improve a company’s performance.</p> <p>The CFCL research showed that gender diversity was key for organisations’ bottom lines:</p> <p><em>1. “Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women on boards financially outperform companies with the lowest representation of women on boards.</em></p> <p><em>2. Gender-diverse teams have higher sales and profits compared to male-dominated teams.</em></p> <p><em>3. A recent Gallup study found that gender-diverse business units have higher average revenue than less diverse business units”.</em></p> <p>But it doesn’t end there.</p> <p>The CFCL also found that having a higher percentage of women in an organisation reflected –</p> <p>1. More job satisfaction;</p> <p>2. More organizational dedication;</p> <p>3. More meaningful work;</p> <p>4. Less burnout, and</p> <p>5. Positively affecting employee engagement and retention.</p> <p>Specifically, when asked why they stay with their current employer, people from organisations with a high percentage of women were more likely to cite positive and meaningful organisational culture, including having a job that fits well with other areas of their life, opportunities for them to make a difference with employees claiming that under female leaders they are just able to enjoy their work more.</p> <p><em>Simple as that!</em></p> <p>In addition, senior-level women are more likely than senior-level men to embrace employee-friendly policies and programs and to champion racial and gender diversity (more than 50 % of senior-level women say they consistently take a public stand for gender and racial equity at work, compared with only about 40% of senior-level men).</p> <p>And these findings persisted regardless of the participants’ age, industry, organisation size, leadership level, ethnicity or gender.</p> <p>Women are also more likely to mentor and support other women (38% of senior-level women currently mentor or sponsor one or more women of colour, compared with only 23% of senior-level men). And that is hugely important – <strong><em>women have got to help other women!</em></strong></p> <p>It comes down to the personal approach that women just seem to have. Treating their co-workers and employees like people instead of machines. It’s about caring. And that makes all the difference.</p> <p>So whilst we agree that women are not superior to men, we do believe that we bring something (very) special to the table…..</p> <p>And the results really do speak for themselves.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But…. There is <u>always</u> a but.</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries6.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2696"/></figure> <p>Whilst studies prove that women are not only competent to do the work but are also very competent leaders, women still turn down leadership opportunities because they are uniquely concerned that their qualifications will not stand up to their male counterparts and are not sure that others in the organisation will support them. Instead, they express concern that they were being set up for failure – the so-called <em>“glass cliff”</em> positions where leadership opportunities are high stakes, precarious, and have a high likelihood of failure (we will discuss this in our <strong><em>upcoming article</em></strong> – so watch this space!).</p> <p>Unfortunately, research conducted by the <a href="https://hbr.org/2017/10/research-objective-performance-metrics-are-not-enough-to-overcome-gender-bias" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Harvard Business Review</a> suggests that these concerns among women are valid. Studies show that organizations expect women to be more qualified than men for the same positions, and that <a href="https://hbr.org/2012/11/study-women-get-fewer-game-changing.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leadership opportunities for men often come with more resources</a> compared to women’s leadership opportunities.</p> <p><em></em>Given the above, it is not surprising that many women (in general) have said that the single most important thing companies <em>can do to attract and retain talented women is to admonish sexism and offer gender parity in pay, experiences, and opportunities for success.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It doesn’t seem like a big ask. Does it?</em></strong></h2> <p>But there just seems to be a disconnect with just not enough women in real leadership roles. And leaders have got to start taking a long hard look at what gets in the way of promoting women in their organisations. Clearly, there is an unconscious bias (both by women caused by societal ideas of the broken rung and entitlement gap as well as the subliminal bias of their male counterparts) that women don’t belong in senior level positions. So, it’s imperative that companies change the way they make hiring and promotion decisions and ensure that eligible women are given serious consideration. Not just given lip-service.</p> <p>Following her presentation at the 3rd Annual Women in Insurance Conference, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-jordan-b3065931/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Carla Jordan</a> Chief Financial Officer of <a href="https://emeraldsa.co.za/emerald-africa/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Emerald Africa</a> has this to say about Female Leaders in the Workplace –</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“As a women leader in business, I know first-hand that the road to success is a little bit more winding, with barriers and challenges along the way that perhaps our male counterparts never encounter or even know exist. I also know that you cannot let these things define you or stand in your way. With global gender equality estimated to take another 100 years or more, we certainly cannot sit on the sidelines and wait for the world to change and for opportunities to come to us. As women, we need to be more confident in ourselves and our abilities, and lead the change that we want for ourselves and future generations”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And it is on this point that we undoubtedly agree – we need to be more confident, we need to speak up for ourselves and what we want. And in order to get those things, we need to lead the change that we want for ourselves and for the future generations of women that will follow in our footsteps.</p> <p>And that can only be done with action leading to positive change.</p> <p><em></em>Can you say – <em>“One giant leap for woman kind”?</em></p> <p><strong><em>And we know we can do it!</em></strong></p> <p>In our next article we will be highlighting some incredible female role models and discuss how we can break-through in the workplace. Stay tuned!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-12 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/">FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>