<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>courage Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/courage/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/courage/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2023 10:52:54 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>courage Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/courage/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2023 10:47:42 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[make yourself a priority]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health advocate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[priorities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[priority]]></category> <category><![CDATA[respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-prioritization]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-respect]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you are your priority]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5230</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>A heart-felt and deeply personal reflection about the importance of self-love, self-care and self-respect.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/">It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" target="_blank" rel="noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s the month of love and around the world people are oohing and aahing over Valentine’s Day cards and meals out with their loved ones.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a time for </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Rom Coms galore</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, chocolates and even a glass of bubbly or two. Because you know – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">we are celebrating love in all its glory.</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cupid doing his thing and living his best life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The funny thing is, whether in a relationship or not, we kind of miss the point. We are so used to expressing love outwardly and for other people that we completely neglect the love that we should be exercising for ourselves inwardly. Self-love. Self-care. Self-respect.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These three things are all interconnected. And they are all about the Self.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because if you have respect for yourself and care for yourself, ultimately you are showing love for yourself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that’s where I think Cupid sometimes misses the mark. Because, let’s be honest, taking a leaf out of the magnificent Ru Paul’s book – </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=ru+paul+if+you+cant+love+yourself+how+in+the+hell&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&oq=ru+paul+if+you+cant+love+yourself+how+in+the+hell+&aqs=chrome..69i57.11422j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:2dcb2826,vid:kyarSnDGHuE" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”. </span></i></a></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Can I get an “Amen” up in here?</span></i></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-3.png" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (3)" class="wp-image-5242" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>But, self-love? I’m a complete hypocrite.</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If I seem like I have everything all wrapped up in one big bow with my (excuse the language) shite together – that would be a big fat lie. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I don’t. Far from it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You see, when it comes to expressing self-love, I am the absolute worst at it. So, basically I’m a hypocrite – writing all about self-love, care and respect when I don’t do any of that for myself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Then again, it’s always so much easier to advise others on how to live their best life without doing so yourself…. It makes you think, doesn’t it?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The truth is, I’m pretty hard on myself. I put immense pressure on myself to do better, to do more, to be more, to give more. Constantly. It always feels like I’m filling other people’s cups up while my own runs dry. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If we are being honest here. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is truer now – over the last couple of weeks – than ever before. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sure, life happens and sometimes we do need to put others’ needs before our own. But the big question is – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how often does this really happen? </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For me personally and as much as I love my partner, my family and my friends (and am immensely grateful for all of them), I would probably guess that putting others’ needs before my own happens more often than not. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s no wonder that I’m kind of feeling like a big cloud is hanging over my head and it’s starting to drizzle. With no raincoat or umbrella, not even Cupid’s arrow can help me now.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, putting my “big girl panties on”, it’s time to take some action. And refill my own cup. After all – there’s a universal rule (especially in aviation) – you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you. Sure, this may sound selfish. Putting yourself before others. But it’s also very, very necessary.</span></p> <p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cobpj3KoOoV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Make yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. At the end of the day, YOU are your longest commitment” – </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Easy Wisdom</span></a></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ain’t that the truth! YOU are your longest and greatest commitment, so why not make yourself a priority? Why not do things for yourself?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The answer is simple (and it should be easy) – there is absolutely no reason not to. If everyone else is getting in the way of doing that or all your commitments have become too much for you to cope with, then you need to start making some room.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-4.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (4)" class="wp-image-5241" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How do we exercise self-love, self-care and self-respect?</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Beatles once crooned </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=all+you+need+is+love&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&oq=all+you+need+is+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i271.4432j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:1409702f,vid:_7xMfIp-irg" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">“All you need is love”</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and while I can (almost) wholeheartedly agree, it’s the all you need is </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">self-love</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> part that is missing. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I need to fall in love with </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">myself </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">again.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In order to do that – and for me – I always need to understand what it is (at its core) that I am trying to do. Falling in love with other people, like my hubby, was easy. I know how to do that. But finding and falling in love with myself is a whole different ball game. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, to begin the self-love journey, I need to understand what “self-love” truly means. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to the </span><a href="https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Brain and Behavior Research Foundation</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, self-love is defined as follows – </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">seems</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> straight forward enough… supporting our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. But I’m still not 100% sure </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to go about doing that.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, here’s what I’m going try …</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-5.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (5)" class="wp-image-5240" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>7 Steps to falling in love with yourself</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to do more of what makes me happy</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">like reading, writing (for myself) and getting back into painting and sculpting. Take a pottery class. Go to gym more often – it helps burn off some of my anxiety. I need to take more long baths and enjoy a glass of wine if I feel like it – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">damn the judgement! </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I need to do more of the things that make me happy. Even if – perhaps especially if – I do them alone (my husband does not like sculpting and has no desire for a </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-MxKd1WY2k" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Patrick Swayze and Demo Moore Ghost moment</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">I also need to understand that </span><strong>s</strong><i><strong>ometimes not doing something is exactly what I should be doing</strong> </i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– nothing. We are only human after all. And despite recently going 46 hours without sleep (I don’t recommend this), we all need to and should turn off. When you are a busy person and feel like you are all over the place, doing nothing feels counterintuitive. But trust me when I say that it’s also necessary. I find it almost impossible and will forever have my grandmother’s words in my head – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You only lie on the bed when you are sick. Otherwise, you must be outside and playing or doing something. Make something out of your day.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> But that</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> why I feel like the </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gDCAEyLABo" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Duracell Bunny </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">most of the time. And while it is sage advice – if taken holistically – it doesn’t help when I feel overwhelmed, forget who I am and what I want out of life. It’s time to put a stop to that. At once. It’s time to simply take deep breaths, light a candle and chill the f**k out! </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-6.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (6)" class="wp-image-5239" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to be more mindful and practice daily mindfulness</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in the form of being completely present in a single moment. Instead of worrying about what the future holds or being anxious about what I should have done or could have done, I need to focus my attention on the here and now. I need to pay attention to and focus on how I’m feeling, what my body is telling me and become more aware of what I want, think and feel. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Working on my bad habits</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is also something I need to address – it’s all too easy to place reliance on “something” in order to get through a stressful day. Or to make ourselves feel better. I have done that more than I care to admit. Especially recently. Whether that’s a (small) tub of </span><a href="https://paulshomemade.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Paul’s Homemade Ice-cream</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (yes, it’s amazing!) or anti-anxiety medication or even that glass of wine. We all (myself included) need to understand that these bad(ish) habits don’t serve us and instead, we need to (I need to) replace them with ones that do. That can be tough to work out. And often the best course of action is to seek guidance from a professional about how to go about doing this – like </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">working with Frieda Levycky</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> as an example. I need to truly practice self-care in the form of healthy eating habits, physical activity and (if I can muster the patience), meditation. Taking care of myself as a whole, rather than simply focus on one bad habit. A holistic approach to self-love</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Being kind to myself and setting some healthy boundaries</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">are key for me. I have recently experienced some very harsh, cruel and horrible criticism from someone I loved and trusted, at a time when I lost a family member and have been feeling at my lowest point. The things that were said are unforgivable and they truly and very deeply broke my heart. It’s part of the reason I was unable to sleep for 46 hours. The thing is, what was said </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">was</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> cruel and hurtful (beyond what I believed a close family member would say) but they also </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">weren’t true</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. That person was going through their own grief and guilt and lashed out at the person that they believed could take it. Possibly because I have before. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing is, I have never said “no” before. I’ve never felt that it was ok to tell someone that their words had hurt me or that their actions were not acceptable. I haven’t put up boundaries before. So doing it now (seemingly “all of a sudden”) has been a bitter pill for others to swallow. But it’s been necessary. You see, it’s often so much easier to believe the negative things, the cruel things, the degrading things about ourselves, than to believe all the good stuff about who we are inside. The things I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> done, the people I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">helped, the work I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">done and what I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> accomplished, the love I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">do</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> give to others. I have forgotten about all the successes. All because one person told me I wasn’t worthy. Being kind to myself also means sticking up for myself. Saying no. And not taking the hurt. So, yes, I need to start setting some healthy boundaries.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Its-Time-to-Exercise-Self-Love-1.jpg" alt="" title="It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love (1)" class="wp-image-5244" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to practice positive self-talk.</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And no, this doesn’t mean I will be walking around my house talking aloud to myself (which I already do btw), I mean more of outwardly saying “I love myself” without feeling embarrassed or believing myself to be self-centered or narcissistic. I need to stop the self-criticism and start believing more in who I am and what I have done. I also need to give myself room to forgive myself. Consistently punishing myself for saying something out of turn or for making a small mistake is just not healthy. I have to learn that I am just human, I am flawed, I have imperfections. I need to learn to love my humanness.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>I need to weed out the toxic people in my life</i></strong><i> </i><strong><i>– </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">this may be a little bit of repetition but it is important for my own self-worth. While setting my healthy boundaries, I also need to start protecting myself against toxic people. If I can (and this is sometimes easier said than done), I need to dismiss or avoid them as often as I can. I need to start cutting them out of my life. Again, easier in principle. But the toxicity only brings me down, it sucks the energy from me and leaves me completely flat. Unable to love myself. I need to start recognizing that anyone who shoves me into the dark so they can have my light, anyone that continually criticizes me or stops me from being me, needs to hit the road. I need to stop giving people second and third chances. I need to walk away. Instead, I need to surround myself with people who build me up and support me, not those who thrill in my misfortune.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now, I’m not saying those 7 steps are the be all and end all of falling in love with myself again. Even starting with just one of those steps above would be a huge start. I can see how all of that change in one go is likely to feel quite overwhelming. It’s going to take some time. And work. It’s going to take me having an active role in my </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">own</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> happiness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But they </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">are</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> steps in the right direction.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Falling in love with someone else is amazing, staying in love takes work but loving yourself is the most important thing any of us can do – we are our longest commitments.</span><strong><i> It’s time to put in the work.</i></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now not to be facetious or weird about it, but tonight I’m going to run a bubble bath, pour myself a glass of bubbly, put on my favorite song and have a date with myself.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But that’s me and my journey. How are you going to start loving yourself? What one thing can you do right now that is solely for your own happiness? Go on, do it. And then, every day, do it that little bit more. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Copy-of-linkedin-filler-pictures-2.jpg" alt="" title="Copy of linkedin filler pictures (2)" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: legalwhizz@gmail.com </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/">It’s Time to Exercise Self-Love</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/self-love/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Dealing with Grief & Loss</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 07 Jun 2022 12:32:09 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Comfort over coffee]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[alone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bereavement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bravery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[death]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grieving]]></category> <category><![CDATA[heartache]]></category> <category><![CDATA[heartbreak]]></category> <category><![CDATA[isolation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[loss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[missing someone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[not alone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[regret]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[worry]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4386</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>This blog post is a little different to our usual posts. At various points in our lives, we will be faced with the loss of a loved one: a close friend, family member, pet, parent or child. The last two years, particularly, have been full of grief and loss.  Alicia, my friend and co-writer, recently […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/">Dealing with Grief & Loss</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69223"><em>This blog post is a little different to our usual posts. At various points in our lives, we will be faced with the loss of a loved one: a close friend, family member, pet, parent or child. The last two years, particularly, have been full of grief and loss. </em></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69223"><em>Alicia, my friend and co-writer, recently lost her granny and wrote this beautiful piece as a way to help process her feelings and emotions. It’s raw. It’s heartfelt. It’s deeply personal. But, perhaps it will provide many of you who are struggling with grief and loss at present a chance to feel understood.</em></p> <p class="has-text-color" style="color:#c69223"><em>Frieda</em>, <em>Founder of Braving Boundaries</em></p> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-default" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="has-black-color has-text-color wp-block-heading">Dealing with Grief & Loss</h3> <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>Death and grief are close first cousins. </p> <p>Meet the one and you are sure (to one day) meet the other – they are related after all.</p> <p>But it’s funny, even though you (half, kinda, but don’t wanna) expect their arrival, the wave of emotions they bring with them hits you like a brick across the forehead. Ouch! </p> <p>It’s almost as if they arrived, unannounced and unwelcome, had a huge party at your expense and vacated your home staggering after all their festivities. While you were left to clean up their mess. </p> <p>Death and grief are “people” we have all come across at some point in our lives. None of us are exempt and one day Death and Grief will wreak their infamous havoc on those you yourself leave behind. </p> <p>And it’s in that thought that I began to wonder. As I watched my grandmother folded into the earth, I looked upon the faces of those who were family. Generations. I looked at my uncle with his daughters and grandchildren and saw the relief that they brought him. He had others. </p> <p>Watching my own mother, she seemingly seemed smaller and more alone than my uncle. Or at least more alone and smaller than before. I sadly realised that it was her and I. That’s all. And that fact aches. Deep inside of me. </p> <p>You see my grandmother came from a long line of women – only children (in most cases)- given the second name Rosa. My grandmother was Elizabeth Rosa. My mother (and then I) broke the tradition of a long line of Rosas (or roses depending on how you see it). Granny didn’t mind – being a breaker of tradition and societal expectation herself. Everyone forges their own paths (at least that’s what she said). </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="768" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4393"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>But it is this moment – while I am still spending time with Grief – that I have found the hardest to overcome. </p> <p>Grief, as it happens, likes to bring along bedfellows. Friends and deviants. No wonder your home is left in such a mess once they are done. Friends like Regret, Remorse, Longing and Worry. </p> <p>My lucky day – they have all arrived. </p> <p>As I sit – huddled in the corner – shielding my eyes from the obscenity they are prone to creating – I feel tears roll down my face. </p> <p>I have tried to hold them back – she led a life well lived after all (and all that) – but these tears have a mind of their own. </p> <p>Two women with no Rosa’s in their names. Two women who have their own demons to face. And my mom who has no one writing her “thinking of you Granny” cards. My cats don’t have the best penmanship. </p> <p>The circle of life, undoubtedly, brings you to these points. Not by chance. They bring you to these points to deal. And so many old wounds have been reopened. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-4.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="768" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Dealing-with-grief-and-loss-4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4394"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Grief and all his mates are funny that way. Parting gifts, I suppose. Death, like Elvis, has long since left the building, having partied himself out days ago. </p> <p>But he “hung around” (like seriously hung around) taking stock and taking notes. I made the same ones. I think. </p> <p>And in my little corner where Grief has fixated his eyes on me – I remember. I regret. I wonder. I hurt. I want. I grieve. </p> <p>But I am reminded that Grief and his friends have other homes to visit – places where they will wreak even more havoc than they have here. I was only a first stop. On borrowed time it would seem. Because, I realise this is only second hand grief. Like a pity visit. Funny, coming from Grief himself.</p> <p>Belonging to my mother and my uncle more so than I. Happening to visit me instead. Or at least at first. </p> <p>Like a cat, I remain in my corner licking my wounds reminding myself – that it will all be ok. In the end. </p> <p>But wounds take some time to heal. Especially the infected ones. And I have so many that are. </p> <p>Did I mention Loss? </p> <p>She is Death and Grief’s second cousin twice removed. Again – family matters. </p> <p>Loss attaches herself to many things and to many situations. Loss of a loved one – that’s obvious. But loss of so many other things too. </p> <p>Grief and his pals are taking their leave – hurrying on to the next home (how do their livers cope) but Loss has made herself quite at home. It seems. Unexpectedly. </p> <p>I didn’t even have time to change the sheets. </p> <p>And it’s at this juncture that I wonder, quite seriously, what we shall have for tea? </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-wide" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/">Dealing with Grief & Loss</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-grief-loss/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 26 May 2022 06:38:50 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[accountants]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bravery]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business men]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[directionless]]></category> <category><![CDATA[down time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[financial stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[listen to your feelings]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[off track]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[purposeless]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[searching for purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time off]]></category> <category><![CDATA[time out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trust your gut]]></category> <category><![CDATA[value alignment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[values]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4353</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Have you ever felt lost? That feeling of having no direction, no purpose and being completely off track? You're not alone.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/">Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p>Have you ever felt lost?</p> <p>We’re not talking about driving to an area you don’t know without your sat-nav working. That’s a different kind of lost. <em>Altogether.</em> </p> <p>We’re talking about the “lost” that happens when you feel yourself losing your place in the world. The “lost” you feel when you’re not quite keeping up with those around you. The “lost” you feel when you’re disconnected from your purpose. And yourself. </p> <p>A feeling of “<em>where have I come from and where am I going to?</em>”.</p> <p>That kind of “lost”. Directionless. Purposeless. And completely off track.</p> <p>Feeling lost is very tangible. You can hear it. Smell it. Even taste it. It’s there all around you. </p> <p>What has caused it can be an innumerable amount of things. Maybe you have plenty of reasons. Maybe only one. And maybe none at all. Maybe you just are feeling – <em>lost.</em> Simple as that. </p> <p>It happens. To most of us throughout our lives. Spurred on by many different things – the end of a romance, the end of a career, the loss of a loved one, failing an exam, losing a case, or bungling up a deal. There are just so many variables. So many factors. And sometimes it’s more than one. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Am I lost or just demotivated?</em></strong></h2> <p>Being demotivated is quite different from feeling lost. </p> <p>According to the Oxford Dictionary being “demotivated” is when someone is <em>“less eager to work or study.” </em></p> <p>Someone who is demotivated knows where they are going and what they are doing (usually) but they just feel a little <em>less eager to get there</em>. They are missing that little cherry on top. That incentive. That nudge to get them back on track.</p> <p>But this feeling of “being lost” is different. It’s when you look in the mirror and suddenly don’t know who the person looking back at you <em>is</em>. Inside. It is the feeling of being suspended in liquid treading water and hoping you find your way out and towards the sun once again. </p> <p><em>Maybe an example will help.</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Feeling-lost-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track-1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Feeling-lost-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track-1-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4355"/></a></figure> <p>Take a puzzle. After all, you know how much we love puzzles.</p> <p>Someone who is demotivated will look at all the bright coloured pieces – they will see the different shapes and sizes and can possibly even tell where one piece is meant to go. But they just don’t want to. Maybe they don’t like the image on the puzzle. Maybe they just don’t like puzzles. Maybe they just can’t be bothered. Either way, they don’t feel excited about completing it. </p> <p>Someone who is feeling lost, actually does like puzzles. But they cannot see the image of the puzzle. At all. They cannot even tell if it is in black and white or colour. So, they don’t know the first thing about <em>how</em> to put it together. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Acknowledging how you feel is the first step</em></strong></h2> <p>We acknowledge that this feeling of being lost is really hard. We acknowledge that it is not something that you can just “keep calm and carry on” about. In fact, you really shouldn’t. </p> <p>But we also know that the first step in dealing with feeling lost is acknowledging and admitting that <em>you are.</em></p> <p>Because by acknowledging how you are feeling, <em>you can start to deal with it.</em> And in so doing, <em>get to know who you are </em><em>now</em> – after finding yourself again. </p> <p>Remember, <em>“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” </em>(Aristotle).</p> <p>Acknowledging, accepting and reminding yourself that it is ok to feel the way you do, is your absolute first step. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What comes next? </em></strong></h2> <p>Your journey to finding yourself again, learning about yourself and accepting the “new you” can be an unbelievably valuable exercise. Learning about yourself is a great gift and helping yourself get through this feeling of unease can change your life in so many ways. All for the better. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Blog-images-Feeling-Lost.jpg"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Blog-images-Feeling-Lost-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-4358"/></a></figure> <p>So here are some tips/strategies to follow on how to deal with feeling lost: </p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li><a href="#care">Take care of yourself</a></li><li><a href="#victim">Do not become a victim</a></li><li><a href="#focus">Focus on your strengths and capabilities</a></li><li><a href="#reflect">Reflect on your values</a></li><li><a href="#acknowledge">Acknowledge who you really are</a></li><li><a href="#learn">Learn from it</a></li><li><a href="#ask">Ask for help</a></li></ol> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="care"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Take care of yourself</em></strong> – be kind to yourself first and foremost. After telling yourself it’s ok to feel how you are feeling, taking care of yourself is crucial. This is not the time to badger yourself about being weak or failing or <em>“not being good enough”</em>. Firstly, all of that is rubbish. That is just your insecurity talking. And secondly, belittling yourself will not help the situation. Be kind to yourself. Breathe. Try meditation or yoga. Get back to feeling ok in your own skin again. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="victim"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Do not become a victim</em></strong><em> </em>– when you are trying to figure out what to do next, it is only natural to develop a sort of defeatist attitude. It becomes easy to give up and not try. It is easy to become a victim. But that will only hurt you in the long run. If you stop caring about what you are doing and simply accept your situation, you are telling yourself its fine to stay in the hole you are in. It’s ok to give up. But it just isn’t. So, work on your self-esteem. Remind yourself that this is a phase, something you are working through and give yourself back your self-worth – because <em>you deserve more than that. </em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="focus"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Focus on your strengths and capabilities</em></strong><em> </em>– it’s only natural that when you are feeling lost in the world to focus on your flaws. We all have them. We are only human after all. No one is perfect. But focusing on those flaws that you may (or may not) have is again harmful. You will have nothing to gain from focusing on your weaknesses. Your flaws. The things you cannot do. <em>Yet.</em> So instead – shift your perspective. Focus on the things that you <em>can</em> do well. Focus on your strengths and your best qualities (come on you can admit what these are). Become your biggest supporter. Tell yourself <em>“You’ve got this”</em> and feel strong in that realisation. Because you are amazing, with your own gifts, your own qualities and your own unique personality. And that’s a powerful thing. </p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="reflect"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Reflect on your values</em></strong><em> </em>– ask yourself this <em>“what is important to you?”</em>. When you can understand what matters most in your life, when you can feel what resonates with you – focus on that. And then do whatever you need to, to live your life in line with those values that are most important to you. Remember this is <em>your life</em>. You should be living it for yourself. Not anyone else. And with that knowledge in mind – open yourself up to opportunity and take it all in.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="acknowledge"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Acknowledge who you really are</em></strong><em> </em>– now this may be a hard one. Because again, it starts with acknowledging where you are <em>right now</em>. We don’t mean on your couch in your living room. We mean, where you are emotionally. Then once you have done that, remind yourself <em>who you are</em>. Think about this deeply and look inside of yourself. You know your core values, you will already have admitted to your strengths and capabilities, you will know your self-worth. Now acknowledge what knowing all of those things about yourself makes you – a beautiful, unique individual who has been through a tough time. But someone who can find their way out of it. <em>Be true to you.</em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="learn"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Learn from it</em></strong><em> </em>– every obstacle put in our way is there to teach us a lesson. Even the really hard ones. And feeling lost is one of them. But going through this process of self-evaluation and self-care can open up your mind to parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed. We are always so busy – with work, with our families, with our friends that we often neglect getting to know ourselves first. We forget that each experience in life teaches us a valuable lesson. You have most likely been through emotions similar to this before. And going through it taught you something knew about you. So, take this life lesson and learn from it. Grow.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large" id="ask"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882"/></a></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong><em>Ask for help</em></strong><em> </em>– while the above are helpful steps to take in finding your way out of the fog, they are not the <em>be all and end all</em>. They are not magical beans that will suddenly turn your life around. No matter how hard you try. Sometimes we just cannot seem to pull ourselves out of the hole we have dug for ourselves. And that’s ok. But staying in that state of flux is not. So, put pride, shame and whatever else aside and ask for help. Again, we acknowledge that feeling lost is hard. It is scary and can be lonely. This isn’t easy. And we are not playing it down. <em>Whatsoever.</em> </p> </div> </div> <p>However, we believe that situations like this can be a catalyst for amazing change in your life. It can redirect you towards the things that matter most to you. <em>If you let them</em>. And that’s the key right there. <em>Its all up to you.</em> </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Be patient with yourself. Nothing blooms all year” </em></p><cite>Anonymous</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>On that note, we remind you that your mental health and your mental wellbeing are paramount to living a full life. Do not neglect them. Do not dismiss them. Do not ignore feelings of despair or feelings of being lost. </p> <p>Reach out. But also allow yourself <em>to feel, to deal and to grow from this. </em></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Resources</h2> <p><a href="https://declutterthemind.com/blog/feeling-lost/">Feeling Lost: 9 Ways to Cope When You Feel Lost</a><br><a href="http://12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life">12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life</a><br><a href="http://Feeling Lost? Here’s What It Means and How to Find Yourself">Feeling Lost? Here’s What It Means and How to Find Yourself</a></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3291"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background is-style-wide" style="background-color:#c69229;color:#c69229"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/">Feeling lost? 7 tips to get you back on track</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/feeling-lost-7-tips-to-get-you-back-on-track/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Be Brave!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/be-brave/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/be-brave/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 02 Jul 2020 00:55:00 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[be brave]]></category> <category><![CDATA[courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enough is enough]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inspiration]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[me time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[priorities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-trust]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trust in yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[values]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=1457</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>There are times in our lives where enough becomes enough! It is in those times, when we put ourselves first, that the magic truly happens ...</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/be-brave/">Be Brave!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2><strong><em>“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”</em> ― Sean Patrick Flanery</strong></h2> <p>I first read and posted this quote on 30 September 2016.</p> <p>It was a big day for me.</p> <ul> <li>It was the day I handed in my notice.</li> <li>It was the day that I found true courage to put myself first.</li> <li>It was the day I said: “enough is enough”.</li> <li>It was the day I took control back over the direction of my life.</li> </ul> <p><img decoding="async" title="10362954_10156371786730554_8301205857118522256_n2" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/10362954_10156371786730554_8301205857118522256_n2-1.jpg" alt="10362954_10156371786730554_8301205857118522256_n2" /></p> <h2><strong>Three months later …</strong></h2> <p>… I was sitting on a plane, heading back to Singapore (my previous home) to start a trip of a lifetime. It became the most transformative year of my life:</p> <ul> <li>I traveled alone.</li> <li>I spent quality time with my closest friends and family.</li> <li>I visited places I had never managed to get to before (New Zealand, Zimbabwe, Botswana).</li> <li>I helped my sister prepare for her wedding.</li> <li>I faced my fears of eating out alone.<br /> I finally did my yoga teacher training after 10 years of practice.</li> <li>I volunteered at mothers 2 mothers- an incredible charity which I’d supported whilst in corporate.</li> <li>I put myself out there – I actually dated.</li> <li>I slowed down: I wrote. I reflected.</li> <li>I gained perspective. I put past issues to rest.</li> <li>I truly enjoyed myself.</li> </ul> <figure><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n.jpg 960w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n-300x225.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n-768x576.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n-500x375.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n-800x600.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n-510x382.jpg 510w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/16830898_10158335835260554_1341082582831099851_n-480x360.jpg 480w" alt="" width="960" height="720" /><figcaption>Braemar Station, Lake Pukaki, Tekapo, New Zealand</figcaption></figure> <p>That change (quite drastic in my case) allowed me to bring my life back in alignment with my core values. When I returned to the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> in 2018, those values and priorities remained (and still remain) at the forefront of everything I do.</p> <h2><strong>Braving change</strong></h2> <p>Change, no matter how big or small it may seem, takes time and effort, and believe me, it helps if you have someone to talk it all through with. My transformation started well before 2016 through counselling (<em>putting my historical issues to rest</em>) and coaching (<em>working out what the hell I wanted from my life and learning how to go out and get it</em>).</p> <p>If you are at a point where you want to make a change, but are struggling with the “how” – then drop me a message or consider booking a <strong>Basic Balance</strong> session.</p> <p>Let’s address the challenges together, so you can achieve a <strong>happier</strong>, <strong>healthier</strong> and <strong>more balanced life</strong>.</p> <p><a role="button" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me-individual/"><br /> Click here To work with me<br /> </a></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/be-brave/">Be Brave!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/be-brave/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>