<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>communication Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/communication/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/communication/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 30 Oct 2025 11:49:46 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>communication Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/communication/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The End-of-Year Crunch is Always Nuts! Part II – Especially for Teams</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-end-of-year-crunch-is-always-nuts-part-ii-especially-for-teams/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-end-of-year-crunch-is-always-nuts-part-ii-especially-for-teams/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 30 Oct 2025 11:05:06 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[burnout prevention]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[corporate wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[employee engagement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[end-of-year stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health at work]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mindful working]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team performance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace culture]]></category> <category><![CDATA[year-end planning]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235421</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-end-of-year-crunch-is-always-nuts-part-ii-especially-for-teams/">The End-of-Year Crunch is Always Nuts! Part II – Especially for Teams</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p> </p> <p class="p1"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="bravingboundaries.com/the-end-of-year-crunch-is-always-nuts-part-i-especially-for-individuals">Click here for Part I: The End-of-Year Crunch is Always Nuts – Especially for individuals …</a></span></p> <p> </p> <p class="p1">Just as it is in our personal lives, the end-of-year rush takes hold at work too. As deadlines tighten, budgets close and projects demand wrapping up, teams everywhere find themselves hurtling toward December with little time to rest. The pace quickens, expectations rise and even the most cohesive teams can begin to feel the strain.</p> <p class="p1">In theory, this should be the season for celebration: a chance to recognise collective achievements and enjoy the camaraderie built over the year. Yet, more often than not, it becomes a blur of back-to-back meetings, last-minute deliverables and frantic attempts to “get everything done before the holidays”. The joy of teamwork gives way to the tyranny of ticking boxes.</p> <p class="p1">Perfection takes priority over presence and connection is lost in the noise of productivity. The focus shifts from collaboration to completion, leaving even the strongest teams drained and disconnected.</p> <p class="p1">This time of year doesn’t have to be about survival. With a more mindful and intentional approach, teams can finish the year with focus, appreciation and energy, not exhaustion. It’s about swapping stress for strategy and rediscovering the meaning behind working <i>together</i>.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Preparing for year-end pressures</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Athletes-Ready-at-the-Starting-Blocks-by-Aflo-Images-from-アフロ（Aflo）.jpg" alt="Athletes Ready at the Starting Blocks by Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）" title="Athletes Ready at the Starting Blocks by Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1"><strong>How teams can prepare for the end of the year silliness</strong></p> <p class="p1">Year-end pressures can be overwhelming for both leaders and teams. Here are some ways to mitigate the stress and maintain well-being –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Setting clear expectations and workload management</strong></p> <p> </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><b>Communicate targets realistically –</b> define achievable end-of-year goals (yes be realistic) and deadlines without creating an overwhelming workload (because that would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?).</li> <li class="li1"><b>Prioritise tasks –</b> focus on tasks with the highest impact and delegate or postpone others if at all possible. Learn to say no, prioritise and ask for help.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Break down large projects –</b> divide major tasks into smaller, manageable milestones to maintain momentum and avoid burnout. After all, this is the end of the year, set your tasks at an achievable level. Tackle the most important things first. Leave the rest, if you can, until the New Year.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Allocate tasks fairly –</b> distribute responsibilities based on individual capacity and capabilities to ensure no one is overloaded, overwhelmed and stressed out. It’s their end of the year too. Remember that.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Plan in advance –</b> look at the calendar and determine resource needs, potential flexibility options and celebration plans before the busy season begins.</li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Protecting boundaries</strong><b></b></p> <p> </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><b>Encourage employees to set boundaries –</b> leaders should encourage and commend employees for establishing their own boundaries and model this behaviour themselves. Lead by example as they say.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Communicate boundaries clearly – </b>employees should define and communicate their work hours and availability to colleagues and clients, clearly but politely. Sometimes a firm word is required.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Practice saying no –</b> learn to politely decline tasks that exceed capacity and bandwidth. You matter too.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Disconnect after hours –</b> encourage employees to unplug from work-related communications during off-hours. Unless it’s life threatening, after-hours should be sacrosanct.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Seek support –</b> employees should feel comfortable discussing their workload and seeking help from managers or colleagues if they are overwhelmed. Delegation is important and sometimes very necessary. Leaders and employees must be open to this.</li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Word-Unplug-White-Internet-Usb-Adapter-on-Moss-Green-Grass-Background.-Top-View.-Copy-Space.-Banner.-Biophilia-Concept.-Nature-Backdrop-by-Yuliia-Chyzhevska.jpg" alt="Word Unplug, White Internet Usb Adapter on Moss, Green Grass Background. Top View. Copy Space. Banner. Biophilia Concept. Nature Backdrop by Yuliia Chyzhevska" title="Word Unplug, White Internet Usb Adapter on Moss, Green Grass Background. Top View. Copy Space. Banner. Biophilia Concept. Nature Backdrop by Yuliia Chyzhevska" class="wp-image-235447" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Creating space for reflection and closure</strong><b></b></p> <p> </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><b>Encourage breaks and downtime –</b> regular breaks throughout the workday and during the holiday season are essential for recharging and maintaining focus. It’s no longer a bum on seats scenario and burning the midnight oil is so old school. We have moved beyond that now and recognise that burnout is real. Downtime is, in fact, necessary.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Promote self-care –</b> encourage practices such as adequate sleep, healthy eating, exercise and mindfulness techniques.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Reflect on the year’s successes and challenges –</b> before the break, leaders and teams can reflect on achievements, lessons learned and areas for improvement, helping to build momentum for the new year.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Celebrate wins –</b> acknowledge and celebrate achievements, both big and small, to boost morale and engagement.</li> <li class="li1"><b>Recharge intentionally –</b> take time to rest and reset to ensure a refreshed start to the New Year.</li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">The end of the year doesn’t have to feel like a mad dash to the finish. With a bit of planning, clearer priorities and a few well-placed “no’s”, it can be a time to thrive rather than merely survive.</p> <p class="p1">In the workplace, that means creating a culture that supports people; one that values wellbeing as much as performance. Open, honest communication is vital. Speak up when you’re stretched, ask for help, delegate where you can and support one another through the crunch.</p> <p class="p1">If you or your team could use some guidance navigating this busy season, reach out to Frieda Levycky at <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span class="s1">Braving Boundaries</span></a>. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is ask for help, whatever time of year it may be.</p> <p class="p1"><i>(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </i><a href="https://www.gouldtraining.co.uk/topics/assertiveness/setting-boundaries/boundaries-at-work" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Gould Training</i></span></a><i>; LinkedIn </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/navigating-year-end-pressures-finding-balance-amid-di-dia-pcc-szzce/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i> and </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/manage-year-end-stress-go-q1-strong-approach-miller-caton-jr-mrmhf/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i> and </i><a href="https://amazingbusiness.com/6-ways-to-thrive-through-the-end-of-year-craziness/#:~:text=It%2520is%2520that%2520time%2520of,I%2520could%2520enjoy%2520this%2520time." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Amazing Business</i></span></a><i>).<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Revised-Corporate-Services-Brochure-2025.pdf" target="_blank"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="End of blog post CTA image (5)" title="End of blog post CTA image" class="wp-image-235400" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-end-of-year-crunch-is-always-nuts-part-ii-especially-for-teams/">The End-of-Year Crunch is Always Nuts! Part II – Especially for Teams</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-end-of-year-crunch-is-always-nuts-part-ii-especially-for-teams/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Perfectionism vs. Excellence: Finding the Balance for Leadership and Team Success</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/perfectionism-vs-excellence-finding-the-balance-for-leadership-and-team-success/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/perfectionism-vs-excellence-finding-the-balance-for-leadership-and-team-success/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 03 Jul 2024 20:34:18 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Corporate Wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Perfectionism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication skills]]></category> <category><![CDATA[delegation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[excellence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[interpersonal communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfectionism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[perfectionist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[promoting excellence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team success]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6210</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/perfectionism-vs-excellence-finding-the-balance-for-leadership-and-team-success/">Perfectionism vs. Excellence: Finding the Balance for Leadership and Team Success</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><i>By Frieda Levycky – Founder and Director of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a></i></strong></h5> <p id="ember59" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">Perfectionism – We’ve all encountered it at some point in our professional lives. Whether you’ve struggled under someone else’s unrealistic standards that stifle growth and leave no room for mistakes, or you’ve been the leader who couldn’t let go and delegate, one thing is clear: perfectionism is unattainable.</p> <p id="ember60" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">I’ve seen firsthand how leaders, driven by perfectionism, often micromanage their teams, adding unnecessary stress and ultimately creating a toxic work environment. On the other hand, I’ve seen how fostering excellence encourages innovation, collaboration and a healthier, more productive work environment. That’s why I’m sharing my insights on this important topic. What are the key differences between perfectionism and excellence? What are the telltale signs of a perfectionist leader? How does perfectionism impact teams? How can leaders promote growth and excellence within their businesses? Keep reading to find out.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Defining Perfectionism vs. Excellence</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Key differences between perfectionism and excellence</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p id="ember63" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">You might think that perfectionism and excellence are similar, but they are fundamentally different in approach and impact. Perfectionism in leadership is driven by a need to meet unattainable standards, leaving no room for mistakes or growth. It often results in:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Micromanagement:</strong> A perfectionist leader struggles to trust their team, often overseeing every detail and task, which can suppress employees’ creativity and innovation.</li> <li><strong>Inability to Delegate:</strong> This stems from a need for control, where leaders find it challenging to entrust tasks to others, fearing the outcome won’t meet their high standards.</li> <li><strong>Excessive Control:</strong> When leaders feel “out of control” due to delegating tasks, it signals underlying perfectionism. This constant need for control can create a stressful and unproductive environment.</li> </ul> <p id="ember65" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">Excellence, on the other hand, focuses on achieving high yet realistic standards. It values continuous improvement, effort and progress rather than flawlessness. Leaders who promote excellence encourage innovation and collaboration, creating a supportive environment where team members feel safe to take risks and learn from their mistakes. This approach fosters a positive, dynamic work culture that enhances productivity and morale.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Signs of a perfectionist leader</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Perfectionism-vs.-Excellence-2.png" alt="" title="Perfectionism vs. Excellence (2)" class="wp-image-6219" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p id="ember63" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">A telltale sign of a perfectionist leader is an overemphasis on minor details and an insistence on doing things “the right way,” which often translates to “their way.” They may be reluctant to acknowledge and celebrate small wins, focusing instead on what could have been done better. Such leaders are often highly critical and quick to point out flaws while rarely offering positive feedback. Additionally, they might set unrealistic deadlines and expectations, pushing their team to the brink in pursuit of perfection. This can create an environment where employees feel undervalued and perpetually anxious about meeting unattainable standards.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>The harmful impact of perfectionism on teams</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p id="ember63" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">Perfectionism can have a detrimental impact on teams, creating an environment of constant pressure and stress. Team members may feel anxious and overwhelmed by the unrealistic expectations set by a perfectionist leader, leading to burnout and decreased morale. This fear of making mistakes slowly but surely kills creativity and innovation, as employees become hesitant to take risks or suggest new ideas. The lack of positive reinforcement and recognition for their efforts can result in feelings of underappreciation and resentment. Over time, the team’s productivity and cohesion suffer, because the focus on flawlessness erodes trust and collaboration.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Strategies for leaders to foster excellence in their teams</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p id="ember71" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">I think I’ve fixated on perfectionism enough for one day, don’t you? Let’s switch our focus to its healthier, more sustainable counterpart… Excellence.</p> <p id="ember72" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">Leaders can promote excellence within their businesses by fostering a supportive and empowering work environment. Here’s how:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Set Clear, Realistic Expectations:</strong> Establish challenging, yet attainable goals. This approach encourages continuous improvement without the paralysing fear of failure.</li> <li><strong>Emphasise Effort and Progress:</strong> Highlight the importance of effort and progress over perfection. Celebrate small wins and milestones to keep morale high and motivation strong.</li> <li><strong>Encourage Open Communication:</strong>Create an atmosphere where team members feel comfortable voicing their ideas, questions and concerns without fear of judgment. This can be achieved through regular check-ins, team meetings and encouraging continuous feedback through collaboration platforms.</li> <li><strong>Provide Opportunities for Professional Development:</strong>Offer training programmes, workshops and mentorship opportunities to help employees enhance their skills and advance in their careers.</li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><strong>Cultivate a Culture of Excellence</strong></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p id="ember75" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">Understanding the difference between perfectionism and excellence is the key to effective leadership. By focusing on achievable high standards and continuous improvement, leaders can create a positive and productive work environment.</p> <p id="ember76" class="ember-view reader-content-blocks__paragraph">As you reflect on the points shared in this blog, think about how you can encourage excellence within your team. Are you committed to nurturing teams that thrive on openness, innovation and collaboration? <a class="app-aware-link " href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/" data-test-app-aware-link="">Reach out today</a> to explore how we can help your team achieve excellence through improved communication and leadership strategies.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <a href="https://www.webtickets.co.za/v2/Event.aspx?itemid=1547283135" target="_blank"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1200" height="628" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Tame-the-perfectionism-workshop.png" alt="" title="Tame the perfectionism workshop" class="wp-image-6222" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/perfectionism-vs-excellence-finding-the-balance-for-leadership-and-team-success/">Perfectionism vs. Excellence: Finding the Balance for Leadership and Team Success</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/perfectionism-vs-excellence-finding-the-balance-for-leadership-and-team-success/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>4 Ways Poor Communication Could be Slowing Down Your Team</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/4-ways-poor-communication-could-be-slowing-down-your-team/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/4-ways-poor-communication-could-be-slowing-down-your-team/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2024 05:27:59 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Conflict]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Corporate Wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication styles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict resolution]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[poor communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[set expectations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team productivity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[transparency]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6142</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/4-ways-poor-communication-could-be-slowing-down-your-team/">4 Ways Poor Communication Could be Slowing Down Your Team</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><i>By Frieda Levycky – Founder and Director of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a></i></strong></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Effective communication is the lifeblood of any thriving team. In my years of coaching and leadership, I’ve witnessed how clear, empathetic communication not only bridges gaps but also builds stronger, more resilient teams. Yet, it’s not uncommon for even the strongest teams to encounter communication barriers that can stifle their potential and sour the workplace atmosphere.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In this blog, I want to share some insight into four common communication challenges that I’ve observed in various teams and discuss practical strategies to overcome the hurdles that might be holding back your team.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Identifying Communication Challenges</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><b>Inefficient and Unfocused Meetings</b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A critical area where poor communication manifests is in the planning and execution of meetings. Inefficient and unfocused meetings are not just time-consuming; they can significantly drain a team’s energy and creativity.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For example, a client I once worked with held regular team meetings that were meant to streamline project updates and brainstorm solutions. However, these meetings often lacked a clear agenda and objective, which led to prolonged discussions about irrelevant topics. The team members felt their time could have been better spent on actual work, leading to frustration and decreased productivity.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To hold more effective meetings, consider implementing the following guidelines:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Establish a Clear Agenda:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Before any meeting, circulate an agenda that outlines the topics to be discussed and the objectives to achieve. This keeps the meeting focused and goal-oriented.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Assign Roles:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Designate a moderator or leader for each meeting to keep the discussion on track and manage time effectively.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Set Time Limits</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">: Allocate specific times for each agenda item to ensure that discussions remain concise and on point.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><b></b></p> <p><b>Unclear Expectations and Instructions</b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One of the most common issues I see in teams across various industries is the lack of clear expectations and instructions. This seemingly simple oversight can lead to significant confusion and frustration, affecting not only the quality of work but also team morale.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let me paint you a picture… A staff member sends a contract to an external lawyer with the brief instruction: “Please review.” Without further context or detailed expectations, the lawyer is left guessing what specifically needs attention, with too much room for assumption. It’s a simple contract, a non-disclosure agreement, which should be straightforward. However, the absence of clear instructions leads to a cycle of back-and-forth communications, delays and potential errors.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To combat this issue, I encourage staff members to adopt a more detailed approach when assigning tasks. Here are a few tips:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Be Specific:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Clearly outline what needs to be done, why it’s important and any specific concerns or areas to focus on.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Set Deadlines:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Always specify when the task needs to be completed, allowing for a clear timeframe.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Provide Context:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Help your team understand the bigger picture. This not only improves the quality of the work but also enhances engagement and responsibility.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Poor-Communication-Could-be-Slowing-Down-Your-Team-2.png" alt="" title="_Poor Communication Could be Slowing Down Your Team (2)" class="wp-image-6155" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><b>Lack of Transparency</b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A lack of transparency within teams can lead to mistrust and a sense of isolation among team members. When information isn’t shared openly, it can create barriers to collaboration and leave employees feeling out of the loop and undervalued.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A team I once advised provides a vivid example. In this example, management tightly controlled decision-making processes and information was shared only on a need-to-know basis. This closed-door approach fostered rumours and speculation, diverting team members’ attention from their primary tasks and undermining trust within the group.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To foster a more transparent environment:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Encourage Open Communication:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Promote an open-door policy where team members feel welcome to ask questions and express concerns without fear of reprisal.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Share Key Information:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Regularly update your team on company news, project progress and strategic decisions. This not only keeps everyone informed but also helps them understand how their work contributes to the organisation’s goals.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Involve Team Members in Decision Making:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Whenever possible, involve your team in the decision-making process. This inclusion not only enhances commitment to the resulting decisions but also builds a deeper level of trust and engagement.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><b>Poor Conflict Resolution</b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Conflict is a natural part of any team dynamic, but when left unresolved, it can escalate and negatively impact team morale and productivity. Poor conflict resolution often stems from ineffective communication and a lack of understanding among team members.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Conflict can easily fester within a team, leading to strained relationships and decreased productivity. To improve conflict resolution within your team:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Promote Open Dialogue: </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">Encourage team members to address conflicts openly and constructively, fostering an environment where differing opinions are valued and respected.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Provide Conflict Resolution Training:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Equip team members and managers with the necessary skills to identify, manage and resolve conflicts effectively. Training sessions and workshops can enhance communication skills and promote a culture of collaboration and mutual respect.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Lead by Example: </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">As a leader, demonstrate effective conflict resolution techniques in your interactions with team members. Model positive communication behaviours, such as active listening, empathy and compromise, to encourage similar approaches among your team.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Build Stronger Teams Through Clear Communication</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Effective communication is the cornerstone of a successful team, enabling collaboration, innovation and growth. By recognising and addressing common communication challenges, teams can overcome obstacles, foster stronger relationships and achieve greater productivity.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As you reflect on the key points I shared in this blog, I encourage you to start thinking about how you can take proactive steps to improve communication within your team. Let’s commit to nurturing stronger, more resilient teams that thrive on openness and collaboration. </span></p> <p><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong>Reach out today</strong></span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to explore how we can tap into the full potential of your team, simply by improving your communication strategies.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-2.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (2)" class="wp-image-6150" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/4-ways-poor-communication-could-be-slowing-down-your-team/">4 Ways Poor Communication Could be Slowing Down Your Team</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/4-ways-poor-communication-could-be-slowing-down-your-team/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Benefits of Being Grateful</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-benefits-of-being-grateful/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-benefits-of-being-grateful/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:49:22 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[appreciation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[celebrate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[celebrate the small stuff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding gratitude]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grateful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gratefulness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gratitude]]></category> <category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category> <category><![CDATA[openness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[thankful]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5713</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-benefits-of-being-grateful/">The Benefits of Being Grateful</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_3 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thank you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Two words we say every single day. Almost like we are automated to say the words. Without giving much thought to the words we are saying – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">thank you for this, thank you for that.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s good manners, thanking people for what they have done or what they have given. Most of us were taught to always show appreciation. Even for the small things. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But is that it?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This got me thinking. What does it really mean to be thankful? To be grateful? The words are often used interchangeably. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If we think about it, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">to be thankful</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> requires an action by someone else or a positive occurrence around a person in order for them </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">to express gratitude.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> So, one might say that being grateful is a positive reaction to a positive stimulus.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But that seems rather sterile.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it occurred to me – perhaps in order to be grateful, one needs to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">understand what gratitude is.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Understanding gratitude</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/The-Benefits-of-Being-Grateful-2.jpg" alt="" title="The Benefits of Being Grateful (2)" class="wp-image-5725" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a quest to understand gratitude, the following definition comes to mind – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Gratitude is an emotion similar to appreciation. The American Psychological Association (n.d.) more specifically defines this phenomenon as a sense of happiness and thankfulness in response to a fortunate happenstance or tangible gift.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Gratitude is both a state and a trait (Jans-Beken et al., 2020). Better explained, one can experience gratitude for someone or something at a certain moment in time, and someone experience gratitude </span></i><a href="https://positivepsychology.com/more-more-more/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">more</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> long-term as a positive character trait” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(</span><a href="https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Positive Psychology</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">).</span></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In other words – and according to </span><a href="https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/gratitude.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Help Guide</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“gratitude involves showing appreciation for the things in life that are meaningful or valuable to you”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So perhaps our above assumption was correct – gratitude is a positive response to a positive stimulus. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But there is a little more to it than that. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California Davis </span><a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/robert_emmons"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Robert Emmons</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (yes, he’s a gratitude scientist) </span><a href="https://youtu.be/pdLRNnrxQAw"><span style="font-weight: 400;">describes gratitude</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> as follows – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Gratitude is something we are all familiar with. We have all received gifts from others. We have all received benefits and kindnesses. What is the feeling we have inside when we receive the gift from someone – it is gratefulness. It is the warm feeling of appreciation. We know that we have been the recipient of a benefit and we feel a tendency to want to give back because of the goodness we have received. That’s really what gratefulness is. It’s really just a form of thankfulness”.</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Gratitude comes from a feeling of thankfulness, gratefulness and appreciation. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How can one practice gratitude?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s easy to say thank you for something you have received, but to truly practice gratitude for the small everyday things – like a chat with a friend, a hug from a partner, a kind gesture from a stranger and a cool breeze in the heat of Summer – takes practice. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it was Jon Kabat-Zinn that said</span><b> – </b></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.”</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just like a muscle, practicing gratitude takes conscious effort. And you can do this by practicing these 6 simple exercises – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Make gratefulness a part of your morning routine</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – instead of waking up and immediately checking your phone, practice mindfulness first. For at least 30 seconds, start your day off with contemplation. Focus on how lucky you are. Lucky to see the sky, lucky to hear the birds’ chirp. Blessed to be able to experience a new day. Breath in and out on this thought, taking deep, mindful breaths. Focus on how you feel as you contemplate your blessings – however small – in life. Starting your day like this is a great way to remind yourself how big the small things are. How they all contribute to your overall happiness in life. And this thought and feeling will follow you throughout your day. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Notice the small things</i></strong><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">try your best to notice all the small things that happen throughout your day (remembering that they aren’t actually small). Being mindful of the things that happen around you and stretching yourself beyond what is directly in front of you. Open your eyes to more of the world around you. Write small notes on your calendar or in a book you’re reading – wherever – about all the things that you’re thankful for. Notes that you will come across on another day and be able to look back on.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Keep a gratitude journal</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– Professor Emmons suggests keeping a </span><a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">gratitude journal</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. In this journal you can remind yourself of all the things that bring you joy – getting really specific about what happened to you during your day that brought a smile to your face. Do this on a daily basis, setting aside time to remember moments of gratitude that are associated with everyday ordinary events, personal attributes, or the people around you that enhance your life.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Keep things fresh</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– perhaps journaling isn’t for you. That’s ok. Try new and creative ways to express your gratitude. For example, Derrick Carpenter in his article </span><a href="https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-gratitude/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Science Behind Gratitude (and How It Can Change Your Life)</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> suggests keeping a gratitude jar. Any time you experience a poignant moment of gratitude, write it on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. On New Year’s Eve, he suggests (and as is done by his wife), empty the jar and review everything you were grateful for. It’s a simple and eco-friendly way of practising gratitude. Take a look at Frieda’s gratitude jar below.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/The-Benefits-of-Being-Grateful-3.jpg" alt="" title="The Benefits of Being Grateful (3)" class="wp-image-5726" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Practice a 5-minute gratitude meditation</i></strong><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">if you’re able to meditate, find a peaceful, quiet place in your home and tune into your senses. Take deep breaths in and out, focusing your energy on the present moment. Slow everything down by noticing that you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. Be grateful for those things. As simple as that. Nothing special needs to be going on in your life in order to practice this meditation. It’s all about the moment and the simple feeling of being grateful for your senses, for your morning coffee, a good book or the kitty on your lap. Explore this simple practice to appreciate all the little things.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong><i>Share your gratitude</i></strong><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> –</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> we are almost all guilty of taking our loved ones a little bit for granted. Unfortunately. And this can create tension in an otherwise harmonious relationship. So next time you notice a kind act by a loved one, say thank you, give them a hug, buy them a cup of coffee. Do something to make them feel noticed and appreciated. By consciously doing this and making the effort, you naturally strengthen your relationship. And by all accounts that can only be a good thing. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Building any one of the above habits will promote the practice of gratitude. Because what it comes down to is recognising the good moments as they happen. Being grateful for the small things (knowing that they are actually the big things) and expressing this gratefulness outwardly. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>What are the benefits of practising gratitude?</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/The-Benefits-of-Being-Grateful-4.jpg" alt="" title="The Benefits of Being Grateful (4)" class="wp-image-5727" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 arrows et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">First and foremost, practising gratitude forces us to shift our thoughts away from negative emotions and instead we focus our attention on positive things that may have been initially overlooked. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to </span><a href="https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Positive Psychology</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, practising gratitude is important because it – </span></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">strongly relates to overall wellbeing, including social wellbeing, emotional wellbeing, and psychological wellbeing; and</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">has a domino effect. If a person experiences gratitude, they are more likely to recognise the help and then later reciprocate that help. People who are thanked are presumably more apt to extend help to others in the future.</span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 arrows et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Additionally, and as set out in </span><a href="https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mindful</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><a href="https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/gratitude.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Help Guide</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, practising gratitude can – </span></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong><i>Relieve stress and pain</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – feeling grateful and recognising help from others creates a more relaxed body state and allows the subsequent benefits of lowered stress. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong><i>Improvement in health over time</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – as gratefulness reduces stress, this, in turn, can decrease blood pressure and levels of inflammation. This can give way to better overall cardiovascular health.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong><i>Alleviate depression</i></strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– researcher </span><a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Prathik Kini </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">at Indiana University performed a study examining how </span><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811915011532" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">practising gratitude can alter brain function in depressed individuals</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Evidence was found that gratitude may induce structural changes in the brain. Such a result reflects how the mental practice of gratitude may even be able to change and re-wire the brain.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong><i>Better sleep</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – increased gratitude supports higher quality sleep and fewer sleep disturbances. All because our bodies are more relaxed. Also, if you express gratitude right before going to bed, you fall asleep with a more positive outlook.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong><i>Improved focus</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if you begin to view the task in front of you in a more positive light, you spend less energy feeling stressed about it. You might even begin to view challenges as opportunities rather than hurdles. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong><i>Higher self-esteem</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – viewing the world with a sense of gratitude can change the way you think about your own worth. Especially if you focus on acts by those around you. If your partner takes you out for dinner, they are not only spending money on you but are also spending time with you. This in turn makes you feel appreciated and loved. </span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">From the above, it would seem that the positive effects of experiencing and expressing gratitude are endless.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you need help with practising gratitude or are not quite sure how to go about doing so, get in touch with Frieda Levycky of</span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> who can help you see the forest for the trees and the light at the end of the tunnel. Or why not<strong> join Frieda and Vee at the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workshop">“<span style="text-decoration: underline;">Reflect, Connect & Celebrate” Workshop</span></a> in Cape Town on Saturday, 25 November 2023</strong>? The workshop is all about reflecting on and finding gratitude in 2023. It sounds like a perfect place to start to me! See details below.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For me, I will be starting a gratitude jar where my first little note says: “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m so grateful I was able to write this article</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workshop/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1200" height="628" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/BB-Facebook-Ad-Graphics-HORIZONTAL-1.png" alt="" title="BB - Facebook Ad Graphics - HORIZONTAL (1)" class="wp-image-5733" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-benefits-of-being-grateful/">The Benefits of Being Grateful</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-benefits-of-being-grateful/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Navigating Conflict: Mastering the Art of Picking your Battles & Choosing your Strategy</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-conflict-mastering-the-art-of-picking-your-battles-choosing-your-strategy/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-conflict-mastering-the-art-of-picking-your-battles-choosing-your-strategy/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 29 May 2023 11:55:02 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Conflict]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Ostracism/bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[choose your battles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication skills]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict management]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict management strategies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict resolution]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict styles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[interpersonal communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[pick your battles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environment]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5517</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Gain a greater understanding of your interpersonal conflict style and whether or not it benefits you and those around you.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-conflict-mastering-the-art-of-picking-your-battles-choosing-your-strategy/">Navigating Conflict: Mastering the Art of Picking your Battles & Choosing your Strategy</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_4 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As a “recovering lawyer” I am no stranger to conflict. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I would easily classify myself as someone who doesn’t back away from conflict. Especially when/if I feel cornered. I will fight to the death. Which is kind of unusual since – naturally – when I’m scared, I freeze. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s an interesting perspective because the truth is, I never quite know which Gladiator is going to show up to the fight – will it be the Gladiator filled with bravado and confidence, ready to take on any worthy opponent? Strong of mind, of heart and of will (strong in body too. Obviously.). Or is it going to be the Gladiator who hides in the corner, in the form of a ball so small he/she/they didn’t know they could actually fit their bodies into. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I can relate in almost every way to each acute stress response – the fight, the flight, the freeze and the fawn (</span><a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Simply Psychology</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">). I fight when needed, I flee when something just doesn’t feel necessary, I freeze when I’m petrified – playing dead essentially – and in instances where I just know that I’m overpowered, where I cannot win, where placating is better, I become the fawn. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You see, I have had to learn how to “pick my battles” over the years. As can be expected, the fights or the conflicts I “lose” leave me feeling insecure, heartbroken, confused, lacking in confidence, and neglecting my self-worth.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And the biggest lesson for me, hasn’t just been my own reaction to conflict but learning – often through practical experience – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how to approach conflict</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. How to “fight” in a way that doesn’t end with me in tears. </span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Which battles to pick – which ones to fight, which ones to walk away from. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because truthfully, I’m kind of soft. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/navigating-conflict-3.jpg" alt="" title="navigating conflict (3)" class="wp-image-5528" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Interpersonal Conflict: Picking your battles </b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In every single human relationship, you are generally going to find different conflict styles. Something Frieda spoke about in her article </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><b><i>Embracing conflict: 5 benefits of rocking the boat</i></b></a><b><i>.</i></b> <span style="font-weight: 400;">There is –</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">the </span><b><i>reactive approach</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (a person who is more passionate and reactive when faced with conflict and often seeks to provoke a similar response in others), </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">the </span><b><i>positive outlook approach</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (a person who avoids conflict or escapes the impact of the conflict by looking for a ‘silver lining’), and </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">the practical </span><b><i>competency approach</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (the person who focuses on putting personal feelings aside and seeks to address the situation as quickly as possible). </span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I can say with absolute certainty that I have had a reactive approach, a positive outlook approach and a competency approach at some point or another throughout my life. Sometimes during the same conflictual situation, whether that be in some of my closest (but all very different) personal relationships, or in my professional career where I have tried to avoid conflict altogether. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And they have all been massive learning experiences for me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While personal to me, I am happy to share my thoughts on each with you.</span> </p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_47 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Example 1: Romantic Conflict </b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/navigating-conflict-1.jpg" alt="" title="navigating conflict (1)" class="wp-image-5530" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_48 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When I first met my boyfriend (now husband), we had very different fighting styles. I would be all “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">let’s sort our issues out straight away, let’s clear the air and let’s find a silver lining</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So – if we are being technical here – sort of a mix of the positive outlook and competency approach in conflict styles. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I didn’t believe in leaving things unsaid (especially right in the beginning of our relationship) and letting feelings “fester” like an open, untreated wound. Talk it out and let’s move on was what I thought. My husband on the other hand was very much an avoider. He would give me the silent treatment for a couple of days while he worked through his feelings. Eventually coming back to sort the situation out later. Once things had “simmered down”, as he liked to say. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem with this? At this point – for me at least – the open wound had become so festered that it was now boiling. I would let my famous temper get the better of me and I would explode. Using language often “fit for a sailor”, I would move to Defcon 1 extremely quickly whereafter blurting out things I didn’t mean to say inevitably ensued. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, I guess I would then turn a volatile shade of reactive. Again, if we are being technical. </span><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">I felt unheard, unseen, uncared for and disrespected. When all my husband was trying to do was prevent a full-scale war from breaking out. Funny how the opposite is actually the result. </span><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Our fights would escalate at this point. I couldn’t see reason anymore and my once level-headed, fair partner would rise to the occasion, becoming reactive too. It was a boiling pot waiting to explode. And certainly not what two people who love one another should do.</span></p> <h3></h3> <h3><b>Lessons Learned:</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></h3> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, we decided that for the better of our relationship (and now our marriage) we would need to learn how to fight with one another. How to approach conflict. We learnt to talk things through as quickly as possible (even if one of us needed 5 – 10 mins to “simmer down”), finding our way to building a bridge back to one another. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It took some work, and it took effort from both of us. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">But now almost 15 years later, we have found how important </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">building the bridge is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was that or giving up on one another. And I kind of love him. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So….</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Now we both feel heard, feel seen, our feelings feel cared about and for. And the respect – well without it, what kind of relationship do you have?</span> </p> <p><b>Questions to consider here: </b></p> <p><b></b></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What do I really want to achieve from this conflict? Is it the principle or am I really hurt?</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do I really care about this person? Do I want to preserve the relationship? Or am I happy to kick them to the curb? </span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Is it better to go our separate ways? If not, what can we do to better the situation?</span></i></li> </ul> <h2></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_49 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Example 2: Friendship Conflict</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/navigating-conflict-2.jpg" alt="" title="navigating conflict (2)" class="wp-image-5529" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_50 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I said right at the start that I am no stranger to conflict. I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe, what I think, what I know to be true and fair. But it sometimes takes a while for me to get there. Unless of course, it deserves immediate retaliation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I tend to bottle up what I’m feeling. I store it all away for a later date. Not on purpose. It’s just how I am. My father use to call me a “dinky bottle”. You know, like the miniature bottle of champagne? Because I was small, but I would keep quiet, not say anything until one day I would just pop. Like a champagne bottle. And while that sounds cute. It really isn’t the case. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have a tendency to bite my tongue. Perhaps in an effort to avoid conflict with those I care about. It makes me feel self-sufficient. Feeling like the “bigger person”. Letting it go, turning the other cheek and all that… </span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">But then it takes something small, something probably not meant to be insulting, and I lose it. I explode like a bottle of champagne. Every little thing that that particular person had ever done to me or said about or to me comes pouring out. I let them “have it”. I don’t hold back, and I literally release everything I have been bottling up. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This has had two endings. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first, the person is taken aback but is sorry for what they have done. We discuss my feelings, their feelings and find a way to reach a happy conclusion to the conflict. Moving forward, more in sync and in a better place. A good result.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The second, the person is so taken aback that they flee for their lives. Never to be heard from again. Friendships have ended. Relationships have ended. And all because we couldn’t find our way to a place of understanding and peace. There are a few political relationships like this too if you think about it. Not the desired result. Bad for all intents and purposes. </span></p> <h3></h3> <h3><b>Lessons Learned:</b></h3> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, avoiding conflict, bottling up how we feel in an effort to save the other party from pain, is honestly a dodgy approach to trying to handle conflict. Because it’s kind of like taking a 50/50 chance.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It can either create the catalyst needed to sort out the situation (especially if you’ve been bottling emotions up) or it can destroy any hope of resolution because – how do you come back from that really? How do you come back after facing conflict from someone who has seemingly avoided it for years? The behaviour that has suddenly been pointed out as wrong was accepted before. So why is how I behave now not acceptable? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It can be a bit of a shock to the system. And sometimes the other person simply cannot see their fault and instead feels attacked for no reason. </span></p> <p><b>Questions to consider here:</b></p> <p><b> </b></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What is the purpose of this conflict – what do I really hope to gain?</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do I care enough about this person/people to find a solution to the problem? Or is it only the inheritance I’m after (kidding)?</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Or do I just want to prove a point (because I’ve had enough of “unacceptable” behaviour)?</span></i></li> </ul> <h2></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_51 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Example 3: Work Conflict</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/BB-Blog-images-Navigating-Conflict-1.png" alt="" title="BB - Blog images - Navigating Conflict (1)" class="wp-image-5550" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_52 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have always been vocal about my experiences within the legal profession. They haven’t all been good. Which is why I often refer to myself – tongue in cheek – as a “recovering lawyer”. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I know in the beginning I said that I’m not afraid of conflict. Or to stand up for what I believe in. I do believe that. But the problem with this is, in just about every legal role I’ve had over the years, I have seemingly fled away from conflict. Or I have tried to placate the person I am in conflict with – whatever I need to say to make the situation go away. To “save” myself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These are not healthy reactions. I’m aware.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have always been too scared to say what I think or what I feel about something because, for the most part at least, I have always been shot down. Or criticised. Told I’m not good enough. I even had someone tell me to go back to law school, all because I believed there was another way to solve a problem. It was different from their view. </span></p> <h3></h3> <h3><b>Lessons learned:</b></h3> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Each time I have remained silent for fear of ridicule or abuse or each time I have placated the person who is towering over me with their domineering stance and death stare, I have hacked away at a piece of me. Of who I am. Of what I believe in. Of what I want. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I have let myself down. So many times. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But there does come a point when you are so tired of being ridiculed or made to feel small, so many times that you take the abuse, that you just want it to stop. So, you keep quiet, you avoid eye contact. You agree, you put others at ease. Just so you can be left alone. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And the only thing not saying something or trying to ease the situation did for me professionally was to ruin my self-confidence and self-belief. I became worn out, burnt out and too scared to say anything. I was a wreck. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Therefore, despite the negative side of it, when it’s called for, taking a more “aggressive” stance, practicing the reactive approach can be very transformative. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s important to stand up for what is important to you – which should include your self-worth. I wonder what would’ve happened if I had stood up for myself. Would anything have changed? I will never know because I was never able to stand up and find out. </span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">And that’s a real shame. </span></p> <p><b>Questions to consider here: </b></p> <p><b> </b></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Will speaking up really get me fired or will it merely raise an alternative viewpoint?</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What’s the worst outcome if I engage in conflict (especially when murder is off the table)?</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">If I do get fired, is that necessarily a bad thing? It may help me find my purpose in life … and do I really want to work with people who behave like that?</span></i></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_53 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Conflict: Choosing your strategy</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As you can tell from the above, conflict is an inevitable part of human interaction, present in both personal and professional relationships. Or certainly in mine anyway. </span><b><i>How</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> we handle conflict can significantly impact the outcomes we foresee and the quality of our relationships in the long run. Whilst it may be tempting to engage in every battle that comes our way – Gladiator at the ready – strategically considering the outcome we are looking to achieve may help us decide on the most appropriate course of action – for that situation at least. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ultimately, our goals will dictate which strategy we adopt. </span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">In his book: <em>The </em></span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><em>Interpersonal Communication Book</em><sup>1</sup></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, Joseph DeVito identifies a variety of conflict management strategies. Consider which strategies you have previously adopted. Have those strategies benefited you? If not, consider what alternative strategies could be adopted in the future:</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="4760" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Conflict-Management-Strategy-1.png" alt="Conflict Management Strategies Infographic" title="Conflict Management Strategies" class="wp-image-5525" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_54 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Conclusion</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all have our default strategies, but understanding these strategies, their pros, and cons, and being aware of the things that could potentially influence/trigger us, could influence the strategy we choose to take for a particular situation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For example, if you’re in a negotiation and want to close the deal as soon as possible, you’re more likely to seek a Win-Win strategy (i.e., compromise) rather than go for an all-out screaming match or stomp off out of the room mid-negotiation (I’ve seen this happen)! Twice! Bizarrely, it worked on one occasion but not in the other.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In our interpersonal relationships we should seek to engage in active fighting, talking and support and enhance our partner’s self-image and worth. Avoiding the conflict, forcing an opinion on your partner, demanding time, and attacking their worth are sure fire ways to see an end to a relationship – whether romantic or platonic. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There may not be an absolute ideal way to handle conflict in </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">every</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> situation. Sure, we can learn from mistakes, we can try to turn a negative into a positive, we can see conflict as a path to change and renewal. Those things are absolutely possible. And true. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But find your bridges. Find your way towards building a happier, better relationship where both parties feel heard, seen, and respected. Look towards what you want for your future.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Conflict in life, even in general, is inevitable. You will need to face it at some point. But </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how you do so,</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in each situation you find yourself in, is key.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you need help figuring out what your conflict style is or how you can improve on your approach to conflict, especially with your significant other or other important people in your life, </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> who can support you as you go through this process. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">(I’ll be setting up a call as soon as I finish this article….)</span> </p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;"><sup></sup></span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;"><sup>1</sup> The Interpersonal Communication Book, Joseph DeVito, 15th Edition, Pearson </span></em></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_2 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_55 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_31"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_32"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/conflict-CTA.jpg" alt="" title="conflict CTA" class="wp-image-5510" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-conflict-mastering-the-art-of-picking-your-battles-choosing-your-strategy/">Navigating Conflict: Mastering the Art of Picking your Battles & Choosing your Strategy</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-conflict-mastering-the-art-of-picking-your-battles-choosing-your-strategy/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Embracing conflict: 5 benefits of rocking the boat</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 25 May 2023 12:41:32 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Conflict]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[arguments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[benefits of conflict]]></category> <category><![CDATA[blind spots]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[competency]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conflict resolution]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dispute]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[interpersonal communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[learning to communicate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive outlook]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reactive]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[rocking the boat]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team dynamics]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5476</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Despite the discomfort that many of us feel towards conflict, it is a natural part of life. Join as us we discover the benefits of conflict.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat/">Embracing conflict: 5 benefits of rocking the boat</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_5 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_32"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_56 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></h5> <h2></h2> <h2></h2> <h2><b>Introduction</b></h2> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Seriously, WTF?”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Ok. Those words didn’t exactly come out of my mouth on Justin and my jog around Newlands Forest a few weeks ago. What I actually said was: “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thanks for waiting for me</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” in a fabulously passive aggressive tone, shrug of my shoulders, raised arms, head jutting forwards, raised eyebrows and a sneer on my face. Needless to say, “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Seriously, WTF?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” was definitely conveyed!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And, as expected, one aggressive stance (whether verbally communicated or not) was met by another: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“What’s that for? Why are you ‘kakking’ me out? I turned back at the corner, ran back for a bit so you could catch up and then carried on. Just like I always do!”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ah the joys of couple’s conflicts. And usually over the silliest things.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The funny thing is that it’s rare for me to enter into conflict voluntarily. In fact, I usually actively avoid conflict. Conflict makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, results in direct confrontation, and leaves me feeling a mix of overwhelmed, exposed, guilty, vulnerable and fragile. These feelings are not generally my first pick of the bunch, and they can sometimes last weeks (if not years) on end.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Any yet, there are some occasions, like the above, that despite knowing that a conflict will no doubt ensue, I forge on ahead regardless. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Why is that?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> What makes those particular circumstances different to others? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, this got me thinking, are there actually benefits to conflict? Is this something which we should be encouraging rather than avoiding? </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_57 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Coping with conflict: our default position </b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before looking at the benefits of conflict, I’d like you to consider what your default position is when it comes to conflict. If it helps, sit for a minute and consider the last argument you had with someone.</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps you are someone who relishes a good “ding dong” to clear the air? The issue is out in the open. Everyone knows how you feel about the situation. Case closed. Move on (The </span><b>REACTIVE</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> approach).</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps you avoid conflict. What good can come of it anyway? Someone (if not everyone) always gets hurt. Best not to upset the apple cart. I’m sure we can find a silver-lining to the situation anyway (The </span><b>POSITIVE OUTLOOK</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> approach).</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps you see conflict as merely a problem to be resolved. Remove the emotion and apply a rational and logical approach to reach a resolution (The </span><b>COMPETENCY</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> approach).</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Or perhaps you’re like me: You’d prefer to shy away from conflict, but, sometimes you just can’t resist a dig despite knowing you’ll need to deal with the fallout.</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Where do you think you sit within these conflict styles? Each of these conflict styles (</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">harmonics</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span><sup>1</sup><span style="font-weight: 400;"> have both their benefits and detriments and, in fact, we should work towards being able to access the full range of conflict styles, so that we can navigate each conflictual situation with greater flexibility and ease. Alicia will explore conflict styles in greater detail in next week’s article.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For the remainder of this article though, I want to consider the overall benefits of conflict (irrespective of the conflict style you use). </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_33"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat-1.jpg" alt="" title="Embracing conflict 5 benefits of rocking the boat (1)" class="wp-image-5492" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_58 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>The benefits of conflict</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s be honest for a second. Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of life. It may not be a regular occurrence, but put any two people together for long enough and conflict will ensue. We’re humans, not robots. None of us think, feel or act exactly the same way. What a boring world it would be if we did! </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We each have needs, desires, values and opinions that, from time to time, will clash with those of our friends, our partners, our children and our colleagues, leading to heated discussions, passive aggressive comments, fights or, in my mother’s case, the day long silent treatment!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite the discomfort that many of us feel towards conflict, it has a number of benefits:</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_33 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_34"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_50 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_59 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Conflict identifies underlying issues</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Conflict often serves as a catalyst for uncovering and addressing underlying issues in relationships, friendships or teams. You know as well as I do that the incidents causing the conflict are rarely the real issue at hand. When conflicts arise, they provide a unique opportunity to delve deeper into the root causes of the disagreements and tensions. By acknowledging and exploring underlying issues, we can gain valuable insights into differing perspectives, unmet needs and miscommunications. And it, sure as heck, removes the elephant from the room!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the example above, our quarrel had nothing to do with Justin not waiting for me. It was all to do with the fact that I was supposed to be the good runner in the couple (he was the cyclist) and yet he was stronger and quicker than me. I had started to doubt my capabilities and fitness levels and started to feel “not good enough”. It was those underlying issues that needed to be released, and the conflict brought them to the surface.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_34 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_51 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_35"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_52 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_60 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Conflict increases personal growth</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Following on from 1) above, conflict provides us with the opportunity to improve our self-awareness. When underlying issues are explored, we become aware of how our behaviour, attitude and/or communication style have contributed to the conflict at hand. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Embarrassingly, our tête-à-tête, once again highlighted for me my passive-aggressive tendencies when it comes to conflict. This approach supports my desire to avoid conflict, but at the same time vent my frustrations (admittedly indirectly) with the situation. Inevitably though, it ends up as a direct confrontation anyway with a good hour of silence afterwards. “Fun” times. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But conflictual situations give us the chance to acknowledge the impact of our conflict style and adjust our behaviour and approach accordingly. So not </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">all</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> bad.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_35"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_53 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_36"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat-2.jpg" alt="" title="Embracing conflict 5 benefits of rocking the boat (2)" class="wp-image-5490" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_36 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_54 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_37"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_55 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_61 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Conflict improves relationships and makes us better communicators</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– Conflict, if handled correctly, can improve communication. By actively listening to what the other person is saying, engaging in a dialogue, considering that person’s perspective, providing your own perspective and intentionally working together to find a resolution, people can build trust and respect for each other, ultimately leading to stronger relationships. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Using a different example, during the 6-week COVID lock down in April/May 2020, I was able to continue working remotely whereas Justin was not. As a result, he took on the household duties (actually, he always does), and I continued to work as normal. Now, I’m not the tidiest of people and I often leave my clothes lying around (much to the irritation of all of my family). By the third week of lock-down, Justin calmly asked me if we could have a chat. He told me that, although he knew that it was not my intention, he felt that I really undervalued his efforts around the house. He felt disrespected and unappreciated. Oh crumbs! That was certainly </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">not</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> my intention. In fact, I hadn’t even contemplated that my actions could impact someone in that manner. His approach to the situation (which was, in every essence, a conflict) allowed us to bring awareness to the issues, explain our perspectives and create a solution to address the problem moving forwards. All without either of us feeling that we’d not been heard.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_37 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_56 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_38"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_57 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_62 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Conflict effects change</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – When conflicts arise, they highlight existing issues, disparities or outdated practices that require attention. Conflict often prompts individuals and organisations to re-evaluate their current actions and behaviours, leading to the exploration of new ideas, perspectives and approaches. Conflict can also ignite passionate discussions, inspire innovation and challenge the status quo, pushing individuals and groups to think collaboratively and creatively.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">From my career as a legal practitioner, people’s frustration with the hierarchy, the billable hours and poor work-life balance, (amongst other things) resulted in a lot of conflict amongst partners and senior associates alike. Over time, these conflicts have resulted in a new breed of lawyer and legal practice emerging. No longer is “Big Law” the only option. Boutique law firms with purpose driven values (rather than profit driven values) now compete with the City Firms. Individual lawyers have opted to work as consultants or contractors rather than full time employees, many of which are supported by alternative legal service providers such as </span><a href="https://www.cognialaw.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cognia Law</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. And Artificial Intelligence is also making its mark in the legal arena reducing time-wasting tasks, enhancing legal research and supporting contract analysis. All changes which have ultimately resulted due to a difference of opinion in approach. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_38"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_58 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_39"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/innovation.jpg" alt="" title="innovation" class="wp-image-5509" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_39 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_59 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_40"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_60 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_63 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Conflict creates awareness and re-establishes boundaries</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Conflict is not something everyone enters into lightly. So, when an individual is prepared to step into the conflict arena and consciously engage in conflict, they do so because they believe that fight is worth having. Conflict offers us the opportunity to re-assess what is most important to us (our values), whether those values are being met, and whether appropriate boundaries are in place to protect those values.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is probably the only situation where I find conflict remotely bearable, when I’m fighting </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">for </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">something that I truly believe in. Whether that be standing up against inappropriate behaviour in the office or fighting for a promotion/pay rise because I know that I deserve it. In those circumstances, I’m prepared to take on the wrath of my opponent if it honours my beliefs and values. In each of those situations, not only have I reminded myself of the things that are most important to me, but I’ve re-established my boundaries for others. They are made aware of the line I am not prepared to cross. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_40"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_61 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_64 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Consequences of avoiding conflict</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are ways and means of approaching conflict, but constructive conflict (i.e. conflict that embraces different ideas and viewpoints) benefits us. In contrast:</span></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Avoiding conflict risks compromising our values and principles</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">, resulting in us choosing to remain silent or go along with situations that contradict what we truly believe in. This dissonance between our actions and values can lead to a sense of inner conflict and dissatisfaction.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Avoiding conflict allows underlying issues to fester</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">, resulting in unresolved tensions and resentments that can gradually erode relationships and create long-lasting damage. By avoiding conflict, we miss the opportunity to address and resolve small problems early on, allowing them to escalate into larger, more complex issues over time.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Avoiding conflict limits our opportunity for personal growth</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Whereas conflict allows us to explore new perspectives, create self-awareness and develop our problem-solving skills; avoiding conflict stifles self-expression, impedes emotional intelligence and prevents the opportunity for self-reflection that arises from confronting and navigating challenging situations.</span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_65 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Conclusion</b></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As much as I struggle with conflict, it clearly does have its benefits. And embracing constructive conflict can have a transformative impact on our lives and relationships. By recognising the value of conflict and approaching it with openness, curiosity and a willingness to learn, we can harness its power to foster growth, strengthen relationships and create positive change in our lives. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While this is not a “call to arms”, perhaps it </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> time to go forth and rock the boat. Embrace conflict and accept it for what it is: a catalyst for growth and understanding and an opportunity to navigate life’s challenges with just a tad more resilience and grace.</span></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;"> <sup>1 </sup>Integrative Enneagram for Practitioners, Dirk Cloete</span></em></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_41"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/conflict-CTA.jpg" alt="" title="conflict CTA" class="wp-image-5510" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat/">Embracing conflict: 5 benefits of rocking the boat</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/embracing-conflict-5-benefits-of-rocking-the-boat/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>8 lessons learned about finding love (PS. It’s no Hollywood Movie)!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2023 10:18:35 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[affairs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bad boys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bridget jones]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[damsel in distress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fairy tale]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hollywood romance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[looking for love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love actually]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love conquers all]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[patterns]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[romantic comedies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[romantic movie]]></category> <category><![CDATA[romcom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[searching for love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unrequited love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[valentine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[valentines]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5161</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Is there a dramatic formula for finding love (like Hollywood would like us to believe)? Or does love simply find you?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/">8 lessons learned about finding love (PS. It’s no Hollywood Movie)!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_6 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_41"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_62 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_66 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!” – </span></i><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203009/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Moulin Rouge</span></i></a></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">LOVE! I love LOVE and I have done ever since I was a little girl. If you browse through my DVD collection (yes, I still have one of those), 80% of those will be love stories. From the classics of </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032145/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wuthering Heights</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0031381/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Gone with the Wind</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046250/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Roman Holiday</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to the modern day love stories of: </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332280/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Notebook</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099653/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ghost</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100405/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Pretty Woman</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092890/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dirty Dancing</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to the RomComs of </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243155/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Bridget Jones’s Diary</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251127/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days</span></i></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">and </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160862/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">She’s All That</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I’ve loved them all and seen them all (many, many times)!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you take any cinematic love story though, nothing about “love” is easy. Come on, it would be a pretty boring movie if the crux of the story was: boy meets girl, they fall in love, the end! </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">No, no! Love must conquer the most impossible situations for it to have meaning and depth. Look at </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117509/?ref_=nm_ov_bio_lk" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Romeo and Juliet</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">: two warring families prohibiting their entanglement which resulted in them poisoning themselves to be together! I’m not really sure that worked out too well for them, but I digress. </span></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">If it’s not warring families, there is deceit, lies, mischief, a ruse that must be discovered before the protagonists’ true feelings of love and adoration can emerge. Think </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8740790/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Bridgerton</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and every other period drama that has ever been filmed. </span></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">And if there is no deceit, then there is a clear obstacle in the way that needs to be navigated (usually a husband, wife, fiancé(e) or partner, a geographical divide, or a societal gap (rich/poor, prostitute/businessman, black/white, guy/guy, girl/girl)) before “true love” can materialise!</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem is, no matter how much we love these Hollywood fables, we start to believe that this is reality. Unrealistic, fantastical expectations about love are created and then transposed into the real world. To find “true love” one must experience hardship, drama and tears. It needs to conquer all, with the promise that all the pain will be worth it in the end.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_42"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-3.jpg" alt="" title="8 lessons learned about finding love (3)" class="wp-image-5165" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_67 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The drama that was my love life</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Needless to say, my own love life mirrored my Hollywood love education, leading to 20 years of romantic chaos and drama. It provided the source of much entertainment for my work colleagues & friends. I always had a story to tell about some ski chalet shenanigans or </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095243/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Gorilla in the Mist”</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> exploits. The constant newness of the beginning phase of the relationships was exhilarating. It held so much potential. “Maybe this is the one?!” But the dizzy highs were met with devastating lows.</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">From the high of feeling my knees buckling under me as the “man of my dreams” strode up to me, took me in his arms and kissed me in the elevator, to the crushing realisation that three years later he was in a relationship with my colleague. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">From the high of a forbidden glance, a touch, a breath against my ear, to the desperation of waiting for a call on my birthday that never came. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">From the high of a long-distance romance that started in the valleys of the Dordogne, to a broken engagement and a wedding dress that, to this day, hangs unused, never to be worn. </span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hollywood’s romantic drama infused my life. But, that promise of a “true love” phoenix rising from the flames of pain and suffering, never did transpire.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_43"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-4.jpg" alt="" title="8 lessons learned about finding love (4)" class="wp-image-5166" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_68 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>When <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110950/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reality Bites</a></span></strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Unlike the single blow experienced by the protagonist in a romantic movie (which can seemingly be resolved by a makeover montage and a few cutting words which make the intended realise what he’s about to lose unless he comes to his senses), the reality of constant drama repeated in one relationship after another begins to wear you down. </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You begin to question yourself. Your choices. Your self-worth.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Your confidence takes an almighty blow. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You start to lower your standards and accept things because you feel like you have no other option. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Your insecurities come to the fore. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You start behaving in ways you never imagined. Where did this neediness and desperation come from?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You pretend to be someone you’re not, purely because you start to believe that you – </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/803962-jude-just-as-you-are-not-thinner-not-cleverer-not" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">“just as you are”</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – are not good enough.</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a recipe for disaster, and one that inevitably ends in heartbreak. Compounding the pain realised from the break-up before. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And yet, with this hope of true love still residing deep inside you, somehow you manage to stitch the broken pieces of your heart back together again. Willing it to just keep on searching for the one. He has to be out there somewhere. Just a little more effort. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And so you go out, you search, you find, you repeat your pattern, you experience that giddy, all-consuming high…</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And then you feel the tug. Something is off. The drama starts again. And soon that piece of string holding those fragile pieces of your heart together is yanked away like a rip cord, spiralling you back down to that familiar pit of despair and confusion.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There’s your Hollywood drama. Just not the intended romantic comedy type.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_44"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-5.jpg" alt="" title="8 lessons learned about finding love (5)" class="wp-image-5167" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_69 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Finding love – Re-writing the fairy tale</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Fast forward 6 years, and here I am in love and in a healthy relationship. As I sit down to write my vows, I realise that I’m none the wiser about how you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">find</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> “true love”. Is there a method to the madness? Is it fluke? Can you intentionally go out and “find” it? Or is it just destiny?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’d be a hypocrite to even think that I could tell you the formula for love, despite having eventually found it. Why? Because I think love comes in many forms, and my understanding of love will be very different from yours. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What I can share with you though are a few lessons I learned along the way, which I’m pretty certain put me in a better position for love to find me.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_42 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_63 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_45"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_64 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_70 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Sort out your own sh*t first</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– Our choices in partners are a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, what we think we deserve and what we’ve learned from our environment (whether that be Hollywood movies, </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Seventeen" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just Seventeen</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, parents or friends). Challenge your beliefs. Challenge the stories that you tell yourself about how loveable you are. Challenge society’s notion of what is acceptable in love. Do the hard work. If you do not love and accept yourself, how can you possibly expect someone else to?</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_43 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_65 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_46"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_66 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_71 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Identify your patterns</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – We all have patterns in relationships. Maybe you are someone who only likes bad boys or people you can fix. Maybe you only date people that earn more than a certain amount of money. For me, it took a couple of years of therapy to work out my pattern. My internal story was that: “all men would leave me”. So, I dated people who were attached / unavailable because I subconsciously knew that they couldn’t commit to me. If they couldn’t commit to me, then they couldn’t hurt me when they left me. The rationale was logic enough. Needless to say, the reality was quite different. </span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">By identifying your patterns in relationships, you can change your internal narrative.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_44"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_67 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_47"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-6.jpg" alt="" title="8 lessons learned about finding love (6)" class="wp-image-5183" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_45 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_68 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_48"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_69 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_72 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Break your patterns </strong><b>– </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">Linked to point 2 above. Identifying your patterns is one thing. Breaking them is quite another. When Justin and I met, I had worked hard at quashing the drama-filled notions of romance that had dictated my early adulthood. I was 37 years and I’d had my fill of piecemeal, uncommitted relationships. So, as I quit my job and jet-setted off around the world on my gap year, my new “men” rule book was being strictly applied (irrespective of how good looking they were): no married men, no attached men, no ar$eholes, no divorcing men, no needy men, no letharios, no men that could only speak basic English, no men more than 5 years younger than me, no men more than 10 years older than me, no French men (I’d just had enough!), no men that I needed to “save”. Trust me, I had experienced them all. In fact, for a good 6 months of my year out, men were completely off the cards. </span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">By breaking your patterns, you can start making better, more conscious choices. A whole new world opens up to you, and you’ll be amazed at what you can find.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_46 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_70 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_49"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_71 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_73 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Enjoy being single</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are sooooo many advantages of being single. You can do what you want, when you want and with whom you want. There are no obligations or commitments. Life is cheaper, freer, more spontaneous and a heck of a lot of fun. Once I embraced my independence, I lost the notion of needing to “find someone”. And then, when I did, I still took that independence into the relationship. We’ve not lost ourselves in each other. We still know who we are and that we can, perfectly happily, live on our own if things don’t work out between us. </span></p> <p> </div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_47"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_72 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_50"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-7.jpg" alt="" title="8 lessons learned about finding love (7)" class="wp-image-5184" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_48 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_73 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_51"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_74 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_74 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Ignore the well-meaning (and slightly patronising) advice of your married friends</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – here is just some of the advice that I’ve been given about finding true love:</span><b></b></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li><strong>“<i>Weddings are the best place to meet your future partner.</i>”</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">As they surreptitiously pop you on the dreaded singles’ table! Just because your friends met their beloveds in a particular way, doesn’t mean that you will follow suit.</span><b> </b></li> <li><strong><i>“I have a single friend – he’ll be perfect for you.” </i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">Why? Because he’s single? I’ve been on some terrible dates purely because of our shared status!</span></li> <li><strong><i>“You don’t have to be attracted to them initially to fall in love with someone.” </i></strong><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">–</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Do you know, that’s probably true for some, but not for me. </span></li> <li><strong><i>“You’ll never find true love with someone who you sleep with on the first night. He’ll just think you’re easy.</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong>”</strong> – Sorry, also a myth.</span></li> <li><strong><i>“Don’t punch above your weight. Good looking men are always self-centred</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong>.”</strong> – A double whammy. Not only does this one absolutely shatter your own self-worth and self-confidence by suggesting our looks dictate who we should or should not be with, but it also suggests that someone’s looks will determine their morals and values! Again, not true! Good old Hollywood movies influencing all our thinking it seems.</span></li> <li><strong><i>“Are you still single? Tick-tock. Tick-tock”</i></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I’m not sure how well-meaning this advice was, but it was certainly not helpful in finding true love. I’ve seen many a friend walk down the aisle with the wrong person because of this biological and societal pressure to have children. Choose your partner for love, not because the time for having children is running out.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_49 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_75 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_52"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_76 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_75 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>There’s a difference between love and lust </strong><b>– </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">Good sex can be like kryptonite. It messes with your brain. It cripples your rational senses. It convinces you that it is love. But, sex is only one part of a relationship (granted, a rather fun part). Long-term, relationships last and love strengthens out of so much more: shared values; morals; communication & compromise.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_50 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_77 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_53"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_78 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_76 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Know your limits & make sure your partner knows them too </strong><b>– </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">You have to be aware of what you’re prepared to compromise on in a relationship, and what is an absolute “no go”. Boundaries are essential and communicating those to each other is vital. For me, if you cheat on me, I’m out. I’ve been there before. I’ve no interest in going there again. It’s my hard line.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_51"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_79 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_54"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-1.jpg" alt="" title="8 lessons learned about finding love (1)" class="wp-image-5163" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_52 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_80 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_55"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8.jpg" alt="" title="8" class="wp-image-1883" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_81 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_77 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Create space for the tough conversations </strong><b>– </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">This romantic notion of arguing and then incredible make-up sex is very Hollywood. Constant bickering is exhausting. Not saying what you want to say in case you cause and argument or they leave, damages you and the relationship. Walking on eggshells in a relationship is not fun. It impacts your self-worth, your self-confidence and your self-esteem. Healthy, loving relationships allow you to express your needs, desires, discomforts, concerns and frustrations to your partner without fear that the relationship will collapse as a result. They also require you to listen and take on board the needs of your other half. Healthy relationships create the space and respect for the tough conversations to be had.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_53"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_82 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_78 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite what we’ve learned from Hollywood romantic movies, love doesn’t have to be hard or scripted or complicated. It doesn’t have to be full of drama, pain and suffering. It doesn’t have to conquer all.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Love, in many ways, should feel easy. I’m not saying that relationships won’t face their difficulties, but the “love” part – that’s the straightforward part. It’s a strong, positive emotion. It allows you to be yourself in a relationship. To maintain your identity. To be part of a team. To feel supported. To have a voice. To be vulnerable. To feel safe.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That, in my humble view, is </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">love … actually</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_56"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/tired-of-all-the-drama.jpg" alt="" title="tired of all the drama" class="wp-image-5191" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/">8 lessons learned about finding love (PS. It’s no Hollywood Movie)!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/8-lessons-learned-about-finding-love-ps-its-no-hollywood-movie/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Effective Workplace Communication – Learning how to talk the talk</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/effective-workplace-communication/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/effective-workplace-communication/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 25 Oct 2022 11:00:58 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conscious communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram for team]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram for teams]]></category> <category><![CDATA[improve team dynamics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[problem teams]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team bonding]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team building]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team performance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team training]]></category> <category><![CDATA[team work]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic teams]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working together]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=4862</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Effective communication is the glue that keeps teams together, working cohesively and creating a positive working environment. How does your team communicate?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/effective-workplace-communication/">Effective Workplace Communication – Learning how to talk the talk</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_7 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_54"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_83 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_79 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_80 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Sections include:</strong></p> <p> </p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#communication">Effective communication in the workplace</a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#skills">How to develop key communication skills</a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#personalities">Different personalities</a></li> </ol></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_81 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was Robert Frost that said – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Personally, I don’t know a better quote that describes what it means to have effective communication. Or to be an effective communicator. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To be an effective communicator is not simply a matter of speaking whatever comes to mind. A person that can communicate effectively speaks </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">to you </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">instead of</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> at you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. They drive positive communication between themselves and others resulting in valuable communication within teams. They are self-aware and are also aware of others around them. It takes skill. Something that can be learnt just as easily (or not) as riding a bike. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it can (and should) be a skill that we all improve on. Daily. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because communication that is effective, that has impact and that results in positive outcomes, takes choosing </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what you say</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how you say it </span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">carefully</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></div> </div><div id="communication" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_82 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Effective Communication in the Workplace</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Effective communication is the glue that keeps teams together, working cohesively and creating a positive, healthy working environment, resulting in an overall positive impact on a company’s wellbeing. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As </span><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/why-communication-is-key-to-workplace-and-how-to-improve-skills" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">BetterUp</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> sets out – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Communication in the workplace is important because it boosts employee morale, engagement, productivity, and satisfaction. Communication is also key for better team collaboration and cooperation. Ultimately, effective workplace communication helps drive better results for individuals, teams, and organizations.”</span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Similarly, poor communication can affect a businesses bottom line. How you may ask. Well abusive language within a team or language that is not enabling will inevitably break down trust. As a result, employees can feel demotivated and demoralized becoming disconnected from the businesses’ culture, believing that they are uninformed and excluded from decision making. Feelings of demotivation and demoralization result in disinterest in achieving workplace goals or a complete disinterest in the workplace. Entirely. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That’s a lot of “dis’s” which a business should avoid! </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it all starts with improving communication</span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_57"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Effective-Workplace-Communication-Learning-how-to-talk-the-talk-1.jpg" alt="Effective Workplace Communication - Learning how to talk the talk " title="Effective Workplace Communication - Learning how to talk the talk (1)" class="wp-image-4880" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_83 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The truth of the matter is not everyone is the same. That may be an obvious statement, but it is worth stating. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">People don’t automatically think the same or speak in the same way. How can they? We are all raised differently, we go to different schools, come from different backgrounds and (as is natural) will be motivated in different ways by different things. The result? Team members will inevitably differ (quite widely in some instances) in the way they communicate. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If any of you have worked in a team before, you will have noticed that each person within a team will approach a task in a unique way. Why? Because each person has their own needs when it comes to the support they need.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Again, we are all unique and will have individual approaches to things, our own likes, dislikes, needs and desires, and preferred ways we need to be spoken to, motivated and supported. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s because of all these differences that </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">real, honest, positive and enabling communication becomes key. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because if a team is going to build rapport and promote an effective working relationship, each team member must develop the skill and flexibility to address collective needs and concerns through effective communication.</span></p></div> </div><div id="skills" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_84 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How to develop key communication skills</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As Tony Robbins </span><a href="https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ask-tony/effective-communication/#:~:text=How%20to%20get%20people%20to,solutions%20and%20ask%20for%20action" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">sets out</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Effective communication resolves conflicts, transfers information, increases understanding and ultimately strengthens your relationships. That said, it almost always involves some form of deep listening, empathy for the person or people you are communicating with, body language and being aware of your emotions and the emotions of others involved in the conversation that conveys the message you are ultimately trying to send.”</span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And we couldn’t agree more with Tony Robbins – listening, having empathy, recognizing body language are all crucial when getting your message across. In a way that best serves the team. Not an individual.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Therefore, after looking at several resources, we have set out 7 effective communication skills that we can all do, because they are all skills that can be easily developed – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_55 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_84 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_58"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_85 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_85 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step One – Actively listen</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was Greek Philosopher, Epictetus who said – </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, let’s start there.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">People need to make a conscious effort to listen to one another. But more than just listening, we need to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">hear one another</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. We need to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">actively listen</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. This involves </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">thinking </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">about what is being said, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">acknowledging </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what is being said and </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">understanding</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> what is being said. [1] </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Active listening takes participation, involving all of one’s senses. One needs to give another person their full attention. They need to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">show that they are listening,</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and this involves a few non-verbal messages – using body language, like nodding and smiling, even murmuring “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mmm hmm”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to indicate that someone has been heard. By consciously involving oneself in the conversation the person doing the talking feels more at ease and will be more willing to communicate openly and honestly. [2] </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_56 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_86 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_59"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_87 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_86 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step Two – effective body language</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As we set out in Step One above, using body language is key when trying to establish rapport with someone. It’s not just about smiling and nodding (which are important), it goes a little further than that. Mirroring someone’s movements becomes key – matching someone else’s body movements, energy levels and breathing patterns is a sure-fire way to build rapport. It is also an effective tool in improving communication skills. Why? By mirroring someone you are attempting to connect with them, trying to build trust. The goal with effectively communicating is to get team members to identify with one another and relate to one another – engaging instead of disengaging. Answering “me too” or agreeing with what is being said – buying in to an idea or a suggestion instead of shutting it down. [3] </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_57 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_88 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_60"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_89 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_87 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step Three – show empathy and exercise patience</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Actively listening and mirroring body language are only the initial steps. Because it takes real understanding and empathy towards another person – putting yourself in their shoes – that really gets someone to open up. If you can demonstrate to a team member that you understand how </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">they feel</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, you may gain a better understanding of what their pain points are and how they are struggling. And by doing that, you can understand </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how to help them. </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it may take patience. And while “patience is a virtue” it is something that we all have to practice. On both sides – the listener and the speaker – it takes patience to calmly but precisely communicate how you/they are feeling, even when you/they are frustrated or annoyed (especially when). Showing empathy and exercising patience can go a long way to avoid disagreements or arguments. [1]</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_58 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_90 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_61"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_91 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_88 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step Four – Sound reasoning</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With people engaged and feeling listened to, responding to what is being said with logic and reason is the next reasonable step. What </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> the goal here? What </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> the core message? Once you know that for yourself, communicating it to others needs to be delivered in a way that justifies a decision – whether it’s in favour of something the team has put forward or is in a different direction to what has been suggested. And to do this, you need to give enough detail to satisfy questions and any negative reaction and instead garner support and understanding. Creating a sustainable choice comes down to reason and logic. Fact. Data. Numbers. Whatever it is that will substantiate reasoning. And this is what communicating in an engaging way comes down to – providing logical reasons upfront so that a decision is easily justified, having the complete buy-in from all team members concerned. However, there is a word of caution here – don’t launch into listing facts and figures. Instead try to integrate the valuable information naturally into a discussion while still actively engaging. Try the “power of storytelling” when giving justification for a decision, remembering it needs to be in an easy to understand and positively engaging way. [3]</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_59 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_92 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_62"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_93 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_89 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step Five – positivity, open-mindedness, and honesty</strong><b><i></i></b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yes, this may be in stark contrast to the “sound reasoning” we discussed above. But, in delivering the sound reason and logic, you need to remain positive, open-minded, and honest to ensure that any trust and any rapport you have managed to build within your team remains intact. For both the listener and the speaker, remaining positive, assists in retaining the mindset that something can be done, or a goal can be achieved instead of immediately assuming it can’t (being a “Negative Nancy”). It’s about a positive outlook that is clear for all to see. Likewise, keeping an open mind where you are open to possibilities will result in a far better result than if you naysay every idea put forward. Lastly, trust is crucial when people are working in a team. Everyone involved needs to know that they can rely on one another to “have their back”, to do what they say they will do and to be honest about their intentions. Sure, this may amount to “blue skies” thinking. But in an ideal world, one where there is effective communication – positivity, open-mindedness, and honesty are key in ensuring any message delivered, is done in a way that encourages a positive outlook and engagement in what could otherwise be a difficult situation. [1] </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_60 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_94 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_63"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_95 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_90 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step Six – Action</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s at this point that you need to ask for action. Communicating effectively involves asking for a resolution to something. It involves asking for action. If you have followed the steps above, you’ll have made whoever you are speaking to feel comfortable, engaged with and listened to. You’ll have provided sound reasoning for a decision and will have (undoubtedly) provided a solution to the issue/problem. But that is not enough. You cannot assume that someone in your team is going to take action after a discussion. You need to ask for follow-through by asking team members to commit to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">doing something</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. It could be as simple as sending an email or calling someone. Whatever it is, there needs to be an action point at the end of the conversation. [3]</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_61 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_96 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_64"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-1882" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_97 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_91 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Step Seven – show you care</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s important to remember that the recipient’s of your communication are human beings. Real people who have their own stresses, hopes, fears, distractions, personal problems, and challenges. It’s therefore important to remember – before sending out an email or jumping on a MS Teams call – to remember you are just one human being dealing with another human being. And because of that, exercising care is important – now more than ever. With some team members working remotely and others working in the office, checking in with one another every now and again, asking how they are doing, following up if you know of a personal problem, shows care. And it really doesn’t have to take an inordinate amount of time. But check in. It will be so worth it. [4]</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_62"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_98 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div id="personalities" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_92 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Different personalities</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_65"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Effective-Workplace-Communication-Learning-how-to-talk-the-talk-2.jpg" alt="Effective Workplace Communication - Learning how to talk the talk " title="Effective Workplace Communication - Learning how to talk the talk (2)" class="wp-image-4881" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_93 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-size: 16px; font-weight: 400;">It’s worthwhile to repeat that </span><i style="font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">different personality types will need different things. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take myself for instance. Throughout my career I’ve always needed a softer approach when it comes to communication or receiving instructions, criticism and when delivering on required tasks. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s not that I am weak or particularly sensitive, it’s just my personality type. The problem is, it was often difficult communicating this to leaders and team members. Maybe because they simply didn’t understand that there </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">are</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> so many </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">different personality types</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> all requiring a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">different approach. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It would’ve been so much easier on me had the leaders I worked for invested in </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a way to understand different personality types </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">within their teams. And this is where the </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Enneagram</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> can become invaluable to a diverse team all having diverse needs. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As you may recall in the last article – </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I set out just </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how beneficial taking the Enneagram was</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in better understanding myself and the reasons why I do the things that I do. It has highlighted my core motivations and the impact they have on my personality, how I think, how I feel and how I take action.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Enneagram has been invaluable in my journey of self-discovery, self-development, relationship building, how I can better resolve conflict according to my own personality type and how I can work better in a team.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I think for anyone looking to better understand team dynamics, the following found on the Braving Boundaries </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">website</span></a> <span style="font-weight: 400;">is highly enlightening – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The power of the Enneagram lies in its subtle complexity, in its flexibility, and in its open-endedness, allowing it to take into account the myriad characteristics of human personality, how these traits blend in each person, and how they change depending on circumstances.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Enneagram is all about the WHY. It delves into our motivations and explains why we do the things we do. It offers profound insights into what makes us tick, such as the unconscious fears buried deep in our psyches that affect our everyday decisions.”</span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The feedback session – as I said previously – was where I was able to gain a real understanding of my personality or archetype style. It’s how I got better acquainted with myself. It’s how I have been able to implement the changes suggested to me in the report. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And for </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">any team</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">any business</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, this would be worth its weight in gold. The perfect way to ensure a harmonious working environment, as well as effective, positive communication. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To find out more about the Enneagram Team Session and how you can both better understand team members within your organisation whilst also discovering ways you can improve your own communication skills, take a look at the </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries website </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">and </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with Frieda Levycky today. There are fantastic programmes for both individuals and teams.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Truly invest in yourself, your team and ensure a positive, harmonious working environment!</span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_66"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram-inquiry/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-1.jpg" alt="Book a Team Enneagram Sessions with Frieda Levycky" title="End of blog post CTA image (1)" class="wp-image-4875" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_94 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><b>References</b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[1] Beqiri, G. (2021, February 15). </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Communication Skills in the Workplace.</span></i> <a href="https://virtualspeech.com/blog/communication-skills-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">https://virtualspeech.com/blog/communication-skills-in-the-workplace</span></a></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[2] Skills You Need. (n.d.). </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Active Listening.</span></i> <a href="https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/active-listening.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/active-listening.html</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[3] Tony Robbins. (n.d.) </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">How can I communicate more effectively?</span></i> <a href="https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ask-tony/effective-communication/#:~:text=How%20to%20get%20people%20to,solutions%20and%20ask%20for%20action" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ask-tony/effective-communication/#:~:text=How%20to%20get%20people%20to,solutions%20and%20ask%20for%20action</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[4] Cookes-Campbell, A. (2022, July 14). </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Why Communication is Key in the Workplace and Ways to Improve.</span></i> <a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/why-communication-is-key-to-workplace-and-how-to-improve-skills" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">https://www.betterup.com/blog/why-communication-is-key-to-workplace-and-how-to-improve-skills</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_63"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_99 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_3 et_pb_divider_position_center et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_64 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_100 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_67"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_101 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_95 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/effective-workplace-communication/">Effective Workplace Communication – Learning how to talk the talk</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/effective-workplace-communication/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 28 Sep 2022 08:22:33 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[behavior]]></category> <category><![CDATA[behaviour]]></category> <category><![CDATA[communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[de-stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[effective communication]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[enneagram coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[invest in yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership behaviour]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personality type]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Selfcare]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[understanding you]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/7-ways-to-bounce-back-after-failure-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Have you ever wondered WHY you do what you do? Or WHY others behave in a certain way? Welcome to the world of the Enneagram!</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/">Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_8 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_65"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_102 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_96 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_66"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_103 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_97 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Sections include:</strong></p> <p> </p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#intro">Introduction to the Enneagram</a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#selfcare"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What does self-care look like?</span></a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#whatis"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What is the Enneagram?</span></a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><a href="#me"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What was the Enneagram like for me?</span></a></li> </ol></div> </div><div id="intro" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_98 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Introduction</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m not sure what it is. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m not sure what causes us to put our own personal needs at the bottom of the pile. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps it’s because many of us (often from a young age), are taught that looking after our own needs amounts to self-indulgence and selfishness, resulting in an air of (unwanted) self-importance. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">None of which – in my childhood home – were positive.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Helping others, donating time (or money) to those less fortunate was always seen as a good deed. My family fully supported </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">outward</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> care. Looking out for others and championing the underdog. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And those things can be good. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> being the operative word.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But what about the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">inward</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> care? Well, those were not really on the list of my priorities growing up. Or as an adult for that matter. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It doesn’t help that I am prone to feelings of self-sacrifice wanting to do more for others than myself, often to my own detriment (although I would never admit it). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s just that, sometimes, it all feels a little too much. You know what I mean? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Constantly putting what you need at the bottom of your own to-do list. And this, in turn, can have a knock-on effect. A feeling of utter overwhelm. The feeling of not doing enough. The feeling of not being good enough. Suddenly imposter syndrome pops in for a visit and you find yourself rocking yourself back and forth in the corner of a dark room (you know, “self-soothing”?)</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem is, the longer we let them take up space in our heads (and hearts), these feelings manifest and grow into more troublesome bed fellows. This undoubtedly will cause further issues, whether it is at home or (more often than not), at work. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The result? Feeling outgunned and outmaneuvered. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At least, that’s how </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I feel.</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And you know the truth of the matter? I’m often amazed by how some people seem (on the face of it) to have all their s&%t together. And yet, here I sit (despite my best efforts) seemingly struggling (on the face of it anyway). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These feelings of overwhelm tend to catch me by surprise and because I don’t see them coming, I panic.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other day, whilst chatting to my friend </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/my-story/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Frieda Levycky of Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – an ICF-accredited coach specializing in Whole Person Coaching and Enneagram Coaching – about feeling overwhelmed and how I (on occasion) struggle, she suggested that we explore WHY this happens to me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, we sought to address my nagging issues by exercising self-care. More specifically – looking at the Enneagram.</span><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_68"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Investing-in-You-–-The-World-of-the-Enneagram-selfcare.jpg" alt="" title="Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram - selfcare" /></span> </div><div id="selfcare" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_99 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What does self-care look like?</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For some of us, practicing self-care comes down to regularly seeing a massage therapist to help get rid of the tight stress knots in our shoulders and neck. For others, it’s spending bucket loads of hard-earned cash on a fancy holiday for yourself and family.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Either way, you’ll (most likely), return home relaxed and rejuvenated. That is, until you get back into the swing of things. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The familiar and seemingly ever-present feelings of overwhelm, not being good enough, not being worthy, being an imposter in your own life, come flooding back in. Once again taking up residence in your life like an unwanted tenant. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Why? These expressions of “self-care” are transitory. They are not permanent and will not result in permanent positive change in your life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change they say, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“is as good as a holiday”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. But in this case – the self-care case – change is what is needed. </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Lasting change</span></i></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change that comes with practical steps that can be implemented in your daily life to promote balance and wellness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step in – </span><b>The Enneagram. </b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I must admit that I was skeptical at first (as I always am with personality type assessments) but with an invitation to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“live life to the fullest”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> how could I possibly say no?</span></div> </div><div id="whatis" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_100 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What is the Enneagram?</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Braving Boundaries</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, the Enneagram is –</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“At its most basic, the Enneagram is a personality assessment that has nine personality types. Each type—for example, Type 7 (or the Enthusiastic Visionary), or Type 1 (the Strict Perfectionist) or Type 5 (the Quiet Specialist)—has its own unique strengths and challenges, and each person within that type has their own blend of these group characteristics.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all have a dominant personality type and exhibit the traits of this type along a continuum, either showing the healthier side of our personality, or spiralling down into the more unhealthy and reactive patterns of our natures.”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But the Enneagram is also far more than just a “personality assessment”. Sure, the Enneagram does identify an archetype (“</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a very typical example of a certain person or thing”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">) that resonates with your core motivations – making up a part of what makes you, you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And your core motivations will have an impact on your personality, how you think, how you feel and how you take action. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But the Enneagram can also be used as a valuable guide towards self-discovery, self-development, relationship building, how you can resolve conflict according to your own personality type and how you can improve team dynamics – or simply how you can work better in a team.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Enneagram doesn’t try to put you in a box. It’s not aimed at limiting you or treating you as a generic copy of someone else. It completely recognizes that each person is complex, unique, and distinct. It recognizes that you (inevitably) change over time. In Enneagram terminology, this means that while your Enneagram style remains constant throughout your life, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the characteristics </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">of your archetype style may either soften or become more pronounced as you grow and develop. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Think of the Enneagram as a map, providing context and insight into –</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Why you do the things that you do.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">How you can improve on the things where you faulter. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">How you can embrace your most important (and valuable) qualities. </span></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_69"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Investing-in-You-–-The-World-of-the-Enneagram-Map.jpg" alt="" title="Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram Map" /></span> </div><div id="whatis" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_101 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">By using the Enneagram as a map to better understand yourself, you become a more liberated, actualized and fully expressed version of yourself. You gain insight into your overall purpose and get closer to achieving your full potential.</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Importantly, the Enneagram helps you to recognize and accept your own strengths and weaknesses. Which can be hard for some of us to do. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As found on the Braving Boundaries </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">website </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">– </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The power of the Enneagram lies in its subtle complexity, in its flexibility, and in its open-endedness, allowing it to take into account the myriad characteristics of human personality, how these traits blend in each person, and how they change depending on circumstances.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Enneagram is all about the WHY. It delves into our motivations and explains why we do the things we do. It offers profound insights into what makes us tick, such as the unconscious fears buried deep in our psyches that affect our everyday decisions.”</span></i></p></blockquote></div> </div><div id="me" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_102 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What was the Enneagram like for me? </strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Going into the Enneagram as a skeptic was probably my saving grace. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I know how odd that sounds, but I answered each question as openly and honestly (and as forthright) as I could, hoping I would catch the Enneagram out. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To my utter astonishment, my report was extremely accurate. To the T in fact. Even when highlighting my weaknesses and the things that I can work on. The things that I knew deep down but found hard to admit. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My faith was renewed!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Of course, not all assessments are created equal and there will be some that fall short of legitimacy. But the Integrative Enneagram Solutions Assessment isn’t one of them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In fact, I’ve read over my report numerous times. Making notes, taking in the insights set out in the report and have tried to implement the recommended exercises into my daily life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Of course, I don’t think I would’ve got to this place of absolute acceptance had I not had a feedback session with Frieda. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Frieda listened to what I thought of the report and how it made me feel. We spoke through some of the issues highlighted and discussed straightforward ways to implement change.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was invaluable. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And let me tell you why….</span><i></i></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_67 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_104 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_70"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_105 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_103 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>You get to put the Enneagram Report into YOUR life context</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Your report may contain some words which – traditionally – have a negative connotation. This will be the same for every archetype. There will just be some words that trigger you and in turn trigger your defence mechanisms. We all have a word that just rubs us up the wrong way e.g. impatient, manipulative, emotional, sensitive, self-absorbed, controlling, uncommitted, passive-aggressive. Words that we’ve been told are “negative” and certainly don’t like seeing in a report. And if you’re anything like me, I stressed about “my word”. I worried that I was that “word” in everything I did. It caused me immense anxiety. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Simply because I read it in isolation, with all my preconceived ideas attached to it (which is a recipe for disaster). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The truth is every archetype will have a trigger word. After all, we are only human. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But the problem arises with </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> we interpret the words and the challenges those words highlight. </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">How do we process them? </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Instead of running away from these “negative words” or hiding under the covers for fear that you may actually </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">be</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> that word, or perhaps ignoring them entirely, pretending you never read the report in the first place (sort of like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand – not a great look by the way) – a feedback session with an accredited Enneagram coach, allows you to gently explore the report. In its entirety. And most importantly, in context (less the preconceived ideas). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In doing so, you begin to understand what everything actually means. Helping you to come to terms (and fully understand) your weaknesses or blind spots and how you can embrace your strengths and positive qualities. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_68 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_106 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_71"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_107 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_104 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>The Enneagram Feedback Session helps you to hold yourself accountable</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other valuable point of the feedback session is accountability. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">How many times have we, as professionals, taken a report from an assessment we did (often because we had to), had a quick read through it and then done absolutely zilch with the information? Because there’s no one holding you accountable. It’s just another piece of paper with your name on it, categorizing you into a specific box. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sure, you may laugh and agree that some of the points are “totally you”, but </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how does that add real value to your life? </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the Enneagram, the feedback session is where you gain a real understanding of your archetype style. It’s how you get better acquainted with yourself. It’s how you implement the change suggested in the report. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Truly investing in you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Because once you understand your core motivations, you can – in fact – become a more “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">liberated, actualized and fully expressed version of yourself”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. You can gain insight into who you (really) are deep down, you can discover what your true purpose is and you can (as a result) reach your full potential. Naturally, leading to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">living your life to the fullest. </span></i></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_69"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_108 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_105 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Following my feedback session with Frieda, I have gained a far better understanding of who I am, acknowledging my challenges and areas for growth and looking forward with hope (and excitement) because I have realized </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how much I have to give.</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I simply cannot recommend the Enneagram Feedback Session enough. Self-care with long lasting results that you can take with you as you grow.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> That’s what I’m talking about!</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You owe it to yourself to gain a better understanding of who you are – deep down – and perhaps even a better understanding of the team you work with. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_72"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/BB-Blog-images-Investing-in-You.jpg" alt="" title="BB - Blog images - Investing in You" class="wp-image-4841" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_106 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As Frieda </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">sets out</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You can’t change who you are, but there are several benefits to having a deeper understanding of yourself:</span></i></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can make the most of your strengths and become aware of the things that challenge you.</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can face the hidden motivations and fears that rule your life and are holding you back in both your personal and professional life.</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can work more effectively in a team.</span></i></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can see what lies behind the decisions you make, why you see the world the way you do, where your blind spots and defence mechanisms are, what’s behind your anxieties, and what’s likely to trigger you.</span></i></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can live up to your true potential and identify where you can grow and develop.”</span></i></li> </ul> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To find out more about the Enneagram Feedback Session, take a look at the </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries website </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">and </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with Frieda Levycky today. There are programmes for both individuals and teams.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is valuable self-care. At its finest. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">All that there’s left to do is to</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> truly</span></i> <i><span style="font-weight: 400;">invest in </span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you.</span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_73"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram-inquiry/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image" class="wp-image-4842" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_70"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_109 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_4 et_pb_divider_position_center et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_71 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_110 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_74"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_111 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_107 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/">Investing in You – The World of the Enneagram</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/investing-in-you-the-world-of-the-enneagram/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>