<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>change Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/change/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/change/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 12:54:50 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>change Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/change/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Identity Purgatory – Surviving the “New Year, New Me” Glitch of 2026</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 12:54:43 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mid-Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[midlife reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal insight]]></category> <category><![CDATA[redefining yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[slowing down]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sustainable change]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235554</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/">The Identity Purgatory – Surviving the “New Year, New Me” Glitch of 2026</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1">It is January 2026, and the collective vibe is less “sparkling fresh start” and more “just trying to keep the engine from smoking.” We are officially back at our desks, staring at cursors that blink with judgmental rhythm, trying to remember how to be productive members of society. Let’s be real – 2025 was a total junkyard of a year – a chaotic pileup of weird weather, weirder politics, and personal hurdles that felt less like “growth” and more like an obstacle course designed by a sadist.</p> <p class="p1">But here we are. It’s the Year of the Fire Horse, the seventh sign in the 12-year cycle of the Chinese zodiac, that practically screams, “Giddy up, we have places to be!” Yet, for many of us, there’s a problem. You’ve outgrown your old self – that person who tolerated that specific job, those draining habits, or that particular way of moving through the world. Problem is, your new identity hasn’t actually arrived in the mail yet. You’re living in a psychological studio apartment with no furniture and a weird smell. Eeeuw!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Liminal Space – Where Your Old Self Goes to Die (Slowly)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><blockquote> <p><i>A liminal space is the “betwixt and between” state—a threshold where you have left one room but haven’t quite entered the next. Derived from the Latin word limen (meaning “threshold”), it describes a period of transition where normal rules and fixed identities are suspended.</i></p> </blockquote> <p class="p2">This isn’t about being indecisive or “losing your spark.” This is what psychologists call a liminal space – the threshold between “what was” and “what is next.” According to research on identity transition, this middle phase is often characterised by a loss of “identity anchors,” which can lead to significant distress (Ibarra, 2003).</p> <p class="p2">As someone who navigates the world with a “triple threat” of diagnosed anxiety, depression, and an autoimmune condition that turns my joints into rusty hinges whenever I’m stressed, I can tell you – this in-between phase is a nightmare for the nervous system. My anxiety wants a 5-year plan, my autoimmune system wants a nap, and my family issues want a therapist on 24-hour retainer.</p> <p class="p2">When you’ve outgrown a version of yourself, the old coping mechanisms stop working. For me, that meant “powering through” (the old me’s specialty) started resulting in physical flare-ups that made me feel like I’d been hit by a very small, very targeted truck. You realise the old “you” was a suit of armour that’s now three sizes too small. You’re hulking out of it, and it’s deeply embarrassing.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Humour of the Void</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/office-chair-with-loading-post-it.jpg" alt="Metal door View more by pixbox77 from Getty Images" title="office chair with loading post it" class="wp-image-235575" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">We have to laugh, because if we don’t, we’ll end up sobbing into a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal. There is something objectively funny about being a “Self in Progress.” It’s like being a website under construction in 1998 – lots of yellow “Caution” tape and a spinning “Loading” icon that never seems to finish.</p> <p class="p1">We are often our own worst critics during this transition. We think, <i>“Why haven’t I figured out my new passion yet?”</i> or <i>“Why do I feel like a stranger in my own life?”</i> The truth is identity isn’t a light switch – it’s a slow-cooker. Research in self-determination theory suggests that forcing an identity before it’s ready leads to “introjected regulation” – basically, you’re just performing a role because you think you should, which is the fast track to burnout (Ryan & Deci, 2000). And that’s far from ideal.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Advice from the Trenches – How to “Horse” When You Feel More Like a Snail</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p2">Since 2026 is the Year of the Horse, and Mark Twain famously said, <i>“The secret of getting ahead is getting started,”</i> we do eventually have to move. But “starting” doesn’t mean you need to have the finished map. It just means you need to stop sitting in the wreckage of 2025. So, –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Lower the Bar</strong><b> –</b> if you’re dealing with health or mental struggles, your “forward momentum” might just be putting on clean socks. That counts. Believe me. In the Year of the Horse, even a slow trot is better than being stuck in the mud.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Embrace the “I Don’t Know”</strong><b> –</b> tell people, <i>“I’m in a transition period.” </i>It sounds fancy shmancy and uber professional, like you’re a corporate merger instead of a person who forgot how to have a personality.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Go with the Flow (With Direction)</strong><b> –</b> sometimes the best way to find the new “you” is to stop looking for them and start doing things that don’t make you feel like garbage. Follow the path of least (internal) resistance.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Leaving Old Habits Behind</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/woman-walking-away-from-the-cocoon-she-has-been-in-smiling-serene.jpg" alt="" title="woman walking away from the cocoon she has been in, smiling, serene" class="wp-image-235576" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If you get to the point where you decide that the time has come to once and for all leave your old habits behind, figuring out which ones to leave behind is less about a dramatic “purge” and more about an investigative audit of your current life.</p> <p class="p1">Here is a step-by-step guide to identifying which old habits no longer fit the version of you that’s currently loading –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Conduct a “Pattern Audit” of Your Stress</strong> – don’t look at your best days. Look at your worst. As ugly as they may be. Research suggests that our “default identity” – the one we snap back to under pressure – is where our most outdated habits live – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – after a tense moment, ask yourself: <i>What did I feel? What did I do? What was I trying to protect?</i><i></i></li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goa</i>l – identify if you are habitually defaulting to being the “avoider,” the “perfectionist,” or the “people-pleaser” just to survive. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Monitor Your “Energy Leaks” </strong><b>– </b>pay attention to which routines feel like a “suffocating cage” rather than a stable foundation – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – spend three days tracking your response to common triggers. Note if a habit (like scrolling for hours or over-committing) leaves you feeling drained rather than energised.</li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – if a habit feels “hollow” even after you’ve rested, it’s a psychological clue you’ve outgrown it. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Use the “Identity Vote” Method </strong>– think of every action as a vote for the person you want to be (this is a good one) –</p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step </i>– write down 1 – 3 “identity statements” for your 2026 self (e.g., “I’m someone who prioritises peace”).</li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – look at your daily habits. If a habit – like checking work emails at 11 PM – is a “vote” for your 2025 stressed-out self, it’s time to put it on the chopping block. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Differentiate Between Procrastination and Growth </strong><b>– </b>sometimes we think we’re failing at a habit when we’ve actually just outgrown the goal it was serving – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – ask yourself – <i>do I need more structure to do this (procrastination), or do I need the space to stop doing it entirely (growth)?</i><i></i></li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – if the goal itself no longer excites you, the habit supporting it is just “noise” you can safely drop in 2026. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Create “Identity Bridges”</strong> – instead of trying to vanish an old habit overnight, build a bridge to a new one (this is sometime far less pressurising) – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – replace, don’t just remove. If your old habit was “saying yes out of guilt,” your identity bridge is “checking in with myself for 60 seconds before answering any request”.</li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – this reduces the “cognitive dissonance” of trying to be a whole new person while still living in your old reality. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Trust the Glitch</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If you feel like you’re failing because you aren’t “rebranded” by January 31st, give yourself a break. Seriously. <b>You aren’t a failure</b>. You’re just moulting. And like a crab without a shell, you’re currently soft, vulnerable, and probably a bit cranky (change – any change – makes most of us cranky).</p> <p class="p1">Healthy development requires the absence of clarity. You cannot see the new horizon until you’ve cleared the fog of the old one. So, while 2026 demands we move forward, remember that a horse doesn’t just gallop. It also grazes, rests, and occasionally looks at a fence and thinks, <i>“Not today mon cherie.”</i><i></i></p> <p class="p1">Be kind to the version of you that is currently loading. They’re going to be pretty great once the Wi-Fi catches up.</p> <p class="p1">If you are struggling to figure out which “old habits” to leave behind this year, get in touch with Frieda Levycky of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span class="s1">Braving Boundaries</span></a> who can provide advice and support to help you get started.</p> <p class="p2"><span class="s2"><i>(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </i><a href="https://www.soulfulstrides.co.nz/blog-lifecoaching/the-identity-shift-how-to-become-the-2026-version-of-you#:~:text=Identity%2520change%2520happens%2520through%2520gentle,offers%2520%25E2%2580%2594%2520linked%2520in%2520my%2520header." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Soulful strides</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://ningcollective.com/blogs/articles/signs-youve-outgrown-yourself-how-to-differentiate-between-procrastination-and-growth" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Ning Collective</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://breakthatspace.in/2026/01/07/signs-youve-outgrown/#:~:text=How%2520your%2520day%2520feels,have%2520a%2520good%2520night's%2520sleep." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Breakthatspace</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits#:~:text=There%2520are%2520two%2520steps.,get%2520the%2520outcome%2520I%2520want?%25E2%2580%259D" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>James Clear</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://hbr.org/2026/01/leaders-bring-your-best-self-into-the-new-year" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Harvard Business Review</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/articles/202601/7-power-moves-for-2026#:~:text=Talk%2520about%2520yourself%252C%2520to%2520yourself,else's%2520personality%2520for%2520a%2520day." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Psychology Today</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12109062/#:~:text=Behavioural%2520intention%252C%2520self%252Ddetermined%2520motivation,et%2520al.%252C%25202024)." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>National Library of Medicine</i></span></a><i>; Medium </i><a href="https://medium.com/@svwvqgrtb/identity-first-habits-second-why-change-starts-within-d932df4b31dc" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i> and </i><a href="https://medium.com/change-your-mind/5-signs-you-are-outgrowing-your-old-self-759580eeb7c6" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a></span><span class="s3">;</span><span class="s2"><i> </i><a href="https://medium.com/change-your-mind/5-signs-you-are-outgrowing-your-old-self-759580eeb7c6" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Bolde</i></span></a></span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s2"><i>and </i><a href="https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2000_RyanDeci_SDT.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Self-Determination Theory</i></span></a><i>). <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Mailshot-CTA-images.png" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235573" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/">The Identity Purgatory – Surviving the “New Year, New Me” Glitch of 2026</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Fear of Letting Go</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 30 May 2024 05:28:27 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[baby steps]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[let it go]]></category> <category><![CDATA[letting go]]></category> <category><![CDATA[letting go of the past]]></category> <category><![CDATA[start small]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress management]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the fear of letting go]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6191</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/">The Fear of Letting Go</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Part of the </span><b><i>The Fears</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> series)</span></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Chicken soup, it’s one of those things that I’ve grown up with. And every single time I have it, a wave of nostalgia sweeps over me. No matter what I’m going through, I immediately feel better. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And chicken soup, like many things in my life, carries a certain amount of nostalgia. It reminds me of my grandmother who would make chicken soup from scratch, something she would do on a weekly basis. And something she would do more often if I had the flu or a cold. It was her way of giving me a big, get-well hug from across the wall. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You see, I grew up next door to my grandparents and spent so much time with them it felt like home. I learnt to play card games from my grandmother on days my mother had a migraine – something that happened often. In fact, growing up I was more at my grandparent’s home than I was at my parents’ home. I didn’t mind, there was less drama there. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’ve been thinking about them a lot recently. Both because of the deterioration of familial ties in recent times but also because I have been going through old family photos and gathering items together – inherited from my grandparents – which I now need to sort into </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">keep, donate </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> sell</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> piles. We are starting to downscale as we look to move to Cape Town in the coming months and for some or other reason, I have accumulated a mass of “stuff” that I neither like, use or want. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But some of this “stuff” is not so much sentimental as it is “theirs”. And the process of getting rid of it, is a burden that feels too heavy to take. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It feels like I am losing them all over again. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I know that isn’t true. They are only things after all. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There’s an old writing desk that my grandmother loved. It used to be where she opened letters (when people still wrote them), where she read newspapers and magazines (when people still read them) and where she did her weekly accounts (when they were still sent by mail). It has marks on it from where she spilled her tea one time and left a hot tea pot. It’s old (it belonged to her mother), warped with age and a little rickety if I’m honest. It’s also heavy and in a dark wood, not really matching anything else in my home. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There’s also an old rocking chair that my grandfather loved. It’s where he spent most afternoons dozing after a long day. It’s where he watched the 7 o’clock news from and from where he drank his tea. It’s also where he spent his last days rocking along, with a red checkered blanket covering his legs. The same red blanket is still on it today. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They are memories of my grandparents. Flickers of the lives they led and the people they were. And while they are just things, it’s very hard to let them go. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>The Process of Letting Go</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/blog-fear-of-letting-go-3.png" alt="" title="blog - fear of letting go (3)" class="wp-image-6205" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s here that I find myself – with this absolute fear of letting go. Of the items and what they mean. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Letting go of two people who meant so much to me. Letting go of a past that I don’t want to address nor forget. Letting go of memories that mean so much to me. All because I’m trying to make room in my life for new beginnings, for new memories, for a new life in a different city. I should be excited, jumping for joy really. But here I sit cross legged on the carpet crying into my tea. My cats think I’ve lost the plot. My husband knows I have. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As my tea gets cold, with me staring into the distance, a thought crawls up my spine – is it them I’m afraid of losing or is just my fear of losing an item that has a self-proclaimed meaning attached to it? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In other words, if I decide to sell, donate or give the rocking chair or writing desk away will it make it easier to move or could I potentially find a place for it in my new home (keeping in mind that we have already decided that these items will not be moving with us). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s then that I decide to Google “Fear of Letting Go” and this pops up </span><a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/loss-aversion/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Loss Aversion: Understanding and Overcoming Our Fear of Letting Go</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, and the first two points seem to apply to my situation – at least in part –</span></p> <blockquote> <ol> <li><b><i>“Acknowledge the Fear of Loss</i></b></li> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first step is to recognize when loss aversion is influencing your decisions. Are you keeping an item because it moves you toward your purpose? Or are you giving extra weight to the fear of what you may be losing?</span></i></p> <ol start="2"> <li><b><i> Redefine ‘Loss’ and ‘Gain’</i></b></li> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Rather than focusing on what you are giving up, shift your perspective to what you’re gaining through owning less. Minimalism is about </span></i><a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/add/"><b><i>addition</i></b></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> more than it is about subtraction—more space, less stress, increased focus on what truly matters. The loss of physical items pales in comparison to these gains.”</span></i></ol> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Reading this article got me thinking – and while I in no way proclaim to be a minimalist – perhaps there are steps that I could take that could ease my fear of letting go? Not just of the furniture but of the memories and of the past attached to them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Which leads me to the first step of five. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Acknowledge the past</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – don’t dance around the issue, instead identify whatever you are afraid of letting go of and confront it as best you can. Don’t allow your past to loom over you like a monster hiding under your bed. Remember: It happened, but it’s not happening any longer. Ignoring or suppressing the things you’re afraid of letting go of will only lead to it disrupting aspects of your life. So, if there are any necessary actions to be taken, take them. Do you need to have a conversation with someone you have pent up animosity towards or someone you need closure from? Is there something you need to get off your chest? Speaking about the past, whether it is with friends or a therapist, is an effective way to release whatever emotions you’re hoarding from that experience. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Releasing these emotions is the first step to letting go.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Look for the positives</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – there’s no denying that it can be hard to look back on situations that may have hurt us, that may have been disappointing or where you need closure. But regardless of how negative that situation may have been, think of the positives. Is there something that you can learn from the experience? Instead of dwelling on what could’ve been or what was, think of what can be. What can you get out of the situation that will be of use to you in the future? How can you move on if you aren’t able to get the closure you need? What positive reinforcement are you able to take that can help you close the book on whatever situation you are struggling to let go of? </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Baby steps</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– letting go doesn’t have to be an all or nothing process. Break the process down into small, manageable steps. That way, letting go will feel attainable. Progress is progress. Celebrate each and every small achievement along the way – they all matter. Positive reinforcement helps shift your focus from the difficult past into a positive future, from what you’re saying goodbye to, to what you’re gaining from the process. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/blog-fear-of-letting-go-1.png" alt="" title="blog - fear of letting go (1)" class="wp-image-6203" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Embrace the joy of letting go</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the joy of what we will find ahead is much greater than what we leave behind. Keep that thought in mind—every time you let go of something you take another step towards a more intentional life. This mindset can help counterbalance the initial discomfort of addressing difficult pasts or disappointing outcomes. And while our tendency may be to overvalue the loss we feel from those situations, we can overwhelm that tendency with the promise of something better – letting them go.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Strive to live in the present</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">today is more important than yesterday, we all know that. That’s why it’s called the present. It’s therefore important that we fully immerse ourselves with the present, that we occupy ourselves with things that make us happy, with activities that we enjoy. We need to make new memories that we can look back on with contentment. Oftentimes, we can’t help but ruminate on the possibilities, the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">might have beens</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. But the truth is, this is all we get. Looking back gets us nowhere. Ultimately, we can’t change the past — we can only control our actions in the present. So, dedicate your time to pursuing your desires and creating that future you would like to see.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With the above five steps in mind and a proper plan in place, I feel better equipped to not only deal with the pieces of my past that I need to address before moving on but also the literal pieces from my past – the rocking chair and writing desk that need new homes. It’s funny how we bury things so deep down that they resurface at the most inopportune moments. But here we are, adulting our lives away, needing to deal with issues as they arise. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">No one said adulting would be fun, only that it would be a journey. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you are on your own journey towards letting go, I wish you luck, patience, and peace. There’s nothing to be afraid of if you deal with it head on. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-4.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (4)" class="wp-image-6189" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/">The Fear of Letting Go</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-letting-go/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>It’s a holly jolly Christmas… almost</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-a-holly-jolly-christmas-almost/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-a-holly-jolly-christmas-almost/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 12 Dec 2023 09:56:53 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[celebration]]></category> <category><![CDATA[change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Chanukah]]></category> <category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category> <category><![CDATA[choir]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas blog]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Christmas lunch]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Christmas movies]]></category> <category><![CDATA[church service]]></category> <category><![CDATA[decorations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[family]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Hanukkah]]></category> <category><![CDATA[hope]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[memories]]></category> <category><![CDATA[nativity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[new traditions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reminisce]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Santa]]></category> <category><![CDATA[tinsel]]></category> <category><![CDATA[tradition]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trimmings]]></category> <category><![CDATA[turkey]]></category> <category><![CDATA[wishes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[xmas]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5770</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-a-holly-jolly-christmas-almost/">It’s a holly jolly Christmas… almost</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>CO-WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span>, AND ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We have come to that time of the year when Christmas decorations are up and festive music is playing in malls, in shops, on the radio and on tv. Best like Boney-M or you’re in trouble…</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We are surrounded by green and red tinsel and running around trying to make the most of Black Friday specials – special gifts for loved ones at a fraction of the cost? Yes please!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And with all the decorations, music and tinsel, a lot of us revert to childhood. When we believed in Santa, leaving milk and cookies on fireplace mantels or windowsills – in case he needed a snack. We remember the excitement of waking up on Christmas Day to find gifts under the tree. We hum old Christmas carols, and a smile begins to show on the corners of our mouths… let’s be honest, who doesn’t feel a little like a kid at this time of year?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Traditions aplenty come to the fore and a lot of us remember times passed, hoping to make the same memories now that we’re older. After all, it’s those traditions that often keep family and friends together – whether they like each other or not.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And all of this got Frieda and I reminiscing about our own childhood Christmases. As much as we know that life changes and there is an immense joy in creating new traditions and memories, there is a nostalgia for the familiarities of our past … and, really, who can blame us? </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/father-christmas.jpeg" alt="father christmas and kids" title="father christmas" class="wp-image-5778" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Alicia’s childhood Christmas traditions</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Being Jewish my childhood Christmas traditions are a little different to most.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">First off Christmas coincides with Chanukah – our own “festival of lights” – where we light a 7 branched candelabra called a menorah, every night for 8 nights. It’s to symbolize the reclaiming of our Holy Temple (during the second century BCE). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While I didn’t have a Christmas tree, we lit the menorah every night during the lead up to Christmas. I remember it so clearly… my grandpa would turn off all the lights in the house so that the only light would come from the menorah. When we turned lights back on, there was a small gift left in front of me. Nothing big or expensive. A token really. But I really looked forward to those nights – for the lights … and the prezzies. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Back in the day, and on Christmas Eve, all shops and restaurants in South Africa would close for the night. Every single one, except the local Chinese restaurant. So, every single Christmas Eve from before I can even remember, saw my family ordering sweet and sour chicken with egg fried rice on Christmas Eve. A family staple. We had fortune cookies and bowties and there was an amazing festive atmosphere. My grandmother would buy Christmas crackers – which I loved – and we would all wear the silly hats, going around the table telling the silly jokes from the crackers. It was a big celebration with family. This happened every year until my grandfather passed in 2001. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Christmas Day saw us spending time with my uncle who had married out of the faith. That’s where I got to experience my first Christmas fir tree – with all the lavish decorations. We had a full Christmas lunch complete with turkey (and delicious stuffing) and of course, Christmas pudding. Then came the gifts – all wrapped up in green and red splendour. It was sublime. Every year on Christmas Day I felt like I had entered another world – complete with sparkly things, with delicious things and because I was the only niece, with gifts galore. It was fantastic. And I could truly see what all the fuss was about. This carried on until I was in to my early 20’s. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Another Christmas staple was watching </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096061/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Scrooged.</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It came out when I was 6 and I have watched it every single year since. That’s 35 years of watching the same movie – you would’ve thought I’d be bored of it by now. Not a chance! I love the movie and cannot wait to watch it again this year.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was truly a magical way to grow up. And because of that, I absolutely love this time of year!</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/hannukah.jpeg" alt="hannukah" title="hannukah" class="wp-image-5777" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>How have Alicia’s family traditions changed?</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As is the course of things, traditions change. And then they change again. At least that’s the case for me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When my husband and I moved into our home, we decided that we wanted to build our own traditions. We borrowed the Chinese take-out from my childhood on Christmas Eve, only now I get to drink tsing tsao (a Chinese beer) or even better, sake (and yes, I know these food and beverage items are unrelated). We also watch Scrooged without fail and with full bellies and happy hearts usually have an early night. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Christmas Day has seen me host a big Christmas lunch for the last couple of years – I would cook for days before so there was always a real spread – turkey and stuffing included. My family would come over and any friend that didn’t have somewhere to go would join. That always meant our house was full to the brim with laughter and jokes, food and drink, music being played, kids in the swimming pool (because it’s always so hot) and love all around. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sadly, this all changed in 2022 when my uncle and dear family friend emigrated to Australia and the UK respectively, and my grandmother and, most recently, my aunt passed away. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These days my husband and I choose to go out for lunch – instead of cooking a big spread just for us two. Any friends who have nowhere to go, will join us at our favourite Greek restaurant, </span><a href="https://www.eatout.co.za/venue/kolonaki-greek-kouzina/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kolonaki </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">in Parkhurst. In fact, I’m really looking forward to some scrumptious lamb chops this year – nom nom nom…</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Life has changed and so have our traditions. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We still laugh and joke, there’s still food galore, there’s still music and festivities. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s still a lovely way to celebrate the holiday season. And I’m very grateful for that.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">What about you Frieda?</span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/christmas-friends.jpeg" alt="" title="christmas friends" class="wp-image-5776" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Frieda’s childhood Christmas traditions</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Christmas has always been my favourite celebration! I mean, as a Brit, how could it not be? The build up to Christmas always offers a welcome reprieve from the cold, dark creep of October and November. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As the city centres turn on their Christmas lights, the childlike enthusiasm comes to the fore. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Local stores ward off the cold by serving their Christmas blends of eggnog latte, spiced apple cider, gingerbread mocha and traditional mulled wine; carolers go “a-wassailing” bundled up in as many layers as humanly possible; Christmas jumpers are fished out from the bottom drawer and proudly paraded in public; and parents discover their newfound capabilities to transform a velvet curtain into a wise-man’s robe for the annual nativity play. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is a joy, a merriment, a creativity, and just a bit more of a willingness to “go with the flow” as December steers its course.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="960" height="720" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/shephards.jpeg" alt="" title="shephards" class="wp-image-5775" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My memories of Christmas as a child all orientate around my family, and three memories clearly spring to mind:</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Christmas for us really began on 1</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> December when our first presents arrived. Nanna and mum used to make my sister and I personalised advent calendars with small gifts ranging from a Santa chocolate bar, to a snowman key ring, to a reindeer nose, to a miniature snow globe. Every morning, my sister and I would leap out of bed to rip open our latest pressies! In hindsight, I’m pretty sure mum’s enthusiasm for the advent calendar benefited her just as much as it excited us. December was the only month we ever left the house for school on time </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As members of the church and school choir, December was always chock-a-block with rehearsals for the school Christmas concert, nativity play and the various carol services. We even got to sing with Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Bouquet</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> if you quote Patricia Routledge) at the Liverpool Philharmonic one year! Now, that was fun (even though we did get told off by our parents for getting a fit of the giggles during the concert)! </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Christmas morning church service was always my favourite though. It was the only day in the year that pets were allowed in church and, as you can imagine, it was chaos! Dogs peeing on pews, budgies escaping from cages and cats clawing the clergy. Someone even brought a snake once to get blessed! The poor vicar – he didn’t know what to do with himself! I always loved that service. Everyone in the congregation participated: heartily singing the Christmas hymns (not worrying about whether or not they were in tune) and embracing the chaos that ensued around them. It was all about patience, love and kindness … and for us kiddies … the Christmas pressies that followed </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Another Christmas Day tradition was the afternoon Christmas movie which we all watched together right after the Queen’s Speech. From Home Alone to Santa Clause the Movie to Indiana Jones to Crocodile Dundee. Nope the latter two are not Christmas Movies, but they were always shown on the 25</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">th</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">! I think the Christmas Day movie became a tradition due to the fact that none of us could move after over-indulging in the Christmas feast! Whatever the reason though, it’s a tradition that still occurs every time I celebrate Christmas back in the UK and a tradition that conjures up many happy memories for me and my family.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/grandfather-and-granddaughter-christmas.jpeg" alt="" title="grandfather and granddaughter christmas" class="wp-image-5774" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>How have Frieda’s Christmas traditions changed?</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Even the thought of pulling on a wooly Christmas jumper on 25</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">th</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> December makes me break out in a mild sweat! Christmas these days is spent in 26 degree heat, hiking the dogs up Table Mountain for their Christmas walk, braaiing seafood on the barbecue and having a dip in the pool! South African weather is not exactly conducive to English traditional Christmas attire! </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite the heat though, the tradition of “family” still infuses Christmas Day. Each year, instead of celebrating Christmas with my clan, I get to celebrate with my husband’s family – a big, raucous bunch, crossing multiple generations, who enjoy Christmas just as much as mine do. It’s a day filled with games (Secret Santa, pass the parcel, and whatever the latest TikTok trend is), a Christmas quiz (of course) and funny tales about family members who are no longer with us. Each Christmas also has a theme for the Secret Santa gifts. These have included “naughty Santa” pressies, “drinks”, “red & gold” and, for this year, the theme is “do it yourself”. No one is allowed to buy a present – they need to get creative and make something. Heaven help us! </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="960" height="960" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Frieda-Justin-and-the-dogs-dressed-up-for-Christmas.jpg" alt="" title="Frieda, Justin and the dogs dressed up for Christmas" class="wp-image-5780" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Friends who are alone for Christmas also come over and join in the merriment. It’s an invitation that I love to extend and have learned from being an expat. There were many Christmases that I couldn’t get back to the UK and was always grateful when friends invited me over in Singapore, Japan, and Geneva. No one should be alone for Christmas, in my view, and we love sharing our crazy new traditions with our friends.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The one tradition that has carried through though (well, at least when I am hosting) is the Christmas lunch. Turkey, pigs in blankets, Brussel sprouts and bacon, caramelised parsnips, roast potatoes and, of course, Christmas pudding and mince pies, are aplenty (even if they are cooked on the braai)! It brings that little bit of English tradition to South Africa. And, quite frankly, Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without them. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="960" height="720" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Frieda-and-family-for-Christmas.jpg" alt="" title="Frieda and family for Christmas" class="wp-image-5781" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Making the most of our Christmas traditions </b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Christmas traditions of both Frieda and me revolve around family and friends, around togetherness and – of course – around merriment. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a time of year where we are encouraged to be around other people – regardless of what religion we practice. We do our utmost to come together in one way or another. Perhaps it’s not always in person, perhaps all you’re able to do is a Video call. But the thread that binds us all through the festive season is the need to be together. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Life may change, our traditions may need to adapt but the one sure thing that we can all agree on is this – however you celebrate during the festive season, whatever traditions you may need to adapt or change, whoever you spend your Christmas with, we hope you do so with love and warmth in your heart.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy New Year to all!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Frieda & Alicia xx</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_2 et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Co-author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit<span> </span><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: legalwhizz@gmail.com </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_3 et_clickable et_pb_fullwidth_section et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_fullwidth_image et_pb_fullwidth_image_0"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/CTA-for-Christmas-Blog-2023.jpg" alt="" title="CTA for Christmas Blog 2023" class="wp-image-5786" /> </div> </div></p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/its-a-holly-jolly-christmas-almost/">It’s a holly jolly Christmas… almost</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/its-a-holly-jolly-christmas-almost/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Braving Boundaries – Slotting life’s puzzle into place</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/braving-boundaries-slotting-lifes-puzzle-into-place/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/braving-boundaries-slotting-lifes-puzzle-into-place/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 24 Nov 2021 11:10:52 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Comfort over coffee]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[changing life course]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling stuck]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding meaning]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fresh start]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life is a puzzle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life journey]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lost]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overwhelmed]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[starting afresh]]></category> <category><![CDATA[starting anew]]></category> <category><![CDATA[starting over]]></category> <category><![CDATA[struggling]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=3645</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Life is a puzzle: sometimes easy, sometimes hard. Are you ready to brave your boundaries and slot those pieces into their rightful place?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/braving-boundaries-slotting-lifes-puzzle-into-place/">Braving Boundaries – Slotting life’s puzzle into place</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p><strong>Life has been compared to many things. A book with chapters that close behind us as others open. A mountain: hard to climb, but worth the view. There’s even Forrest Gump and his well-known “life is like a box of chocolates” analogy. </strong></p> <p><strong>For me though, life is like a puzzle.</strong></p> <p>One of those big puzzles with thousands of pieces of featureless forest or open sky. And to make things harder, you’ve lost the lid of the box and have no idea what you’re building.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>THE EARLY YEARS</strong></h2> <p>Unsure of what we’re building, we start off with the easiest part—the border—setting up the boundaries of this as-yet-unknown picture. School. Higher education. Our first job. Our first relationship. This is a time in our lives when the world has seemingly limitless opportunities, and we confidently slot in piece after piece, full of enthusiasm as we look forward to figuring out where we’re headed.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="600" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/life-is-a-puzzle-1.jpg" alt="Braving Boundaries – Slotting life’s puzzle into place" class="wp-image-3654"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>REALITY SETS IN</strong></h2> <p>But what do we do once that border is complete and, faced with all those endless pieces of non-descript forest, our enthusiasm and progress begin to wane? When life becomes an endless cycle of rinse and repeat: get up, work all day, gym, come home, eat, TV, sleep…what then? </p> <p>Maybe you choose to walk away from the puzzle, leaving it unfinished, and just accept that this is your life.</p> <p>Or you start working on completing small sections within the bigger puzzle. Perhaps you get lucky and find a piece that unlocks a new section of the puzzle, when life serves up a new opportunity. The chance to move abroad. A new job offer. A new relationship.</p> <p>And so you start building these sections, adding piece after piece until your progress dwindles again. That new opportunity that had seemed to hold such promise isn’t the puzzle-unlocking key you thought it was. </p> <p>Like all experiences in life, it has a place in your puzzle, and is necessary to complete the whole picture of your life, but it’s in the wrong place. You’re left with a section that, while complete in itself, just won’t click into other sections to form a bigger picture. </p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="600" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/life-is-a-puzzle2.jpg" alt="Braving Boundaries – Slotting life’s puzzle into place" class="wp-image-3655"/></figure> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>BRAVING BOUNDARIES</strong></h2> <p>At this point, we find ourselves at the proverbial fork in the road. If we want to make progress on our life puzzle, we have to choose one of two paths.</p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li>We can force this section into the puzzle, wanting so badly for it to fit that we jam it in, ignoring the niggling feeling that it’s <strong><em>just not right</em></strong>. We’re so focused on keeping those ill-fitting pieces in place, that we ignore all the other pieces—the other aspects of our lives—that are waiting to be developed.</li></ol> <ol class="wp-block-list" start="2"><li>Or we find the courage to go back and take another look at those pieces. </li></ol> <div style="height:10px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>BRAVING CHANGE</strong></h2> <p>Change is never easy, especially when it requires us to revisit our past choices. </p> <p>It takes courage to acknowledge that something is wrong in our lives. </p> <p>It requires trust that we’ll be able to find the correct place to replace that wrongly positioned piece, giving it the correct importance in our lives. </p> <p>It needs a willingness to go back and switch out the mismatched pieces, making changes where needed.</p> <p>It also means dealing with the discomfort that comes from turning our attention to something new as we work on a new section of the puzzle.</p> <p>While change isn’t easy, it’s often necessary, or you’ll be left with a mountain of unplaced pieces and the sinking feeling that maybe you’ll never be able to complete your life puzzle. </p> <p>If that’s how you’re feeling, as if your life is a jumbled-up puzzle with no hope of ever being completed, then know that it doesn’t have to be like this. You can make a change. </p> <p>All it takes is for you to be brave enough to take that first step.</p> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-full"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="800" height="600" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/life-is-a-puzzle3.jpg" alt="Braving Boundaries – Slotting life’s puzzle into place" class="wp-image-3656"/></figure></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button is-style-fill"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/">BE BRAVE. TAKE THAT FIRST STEP NOW.</a></div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/braving-boundaries-slotting-lifes-puzzle-into-place/">Braving Boundaries – Slotting life’s puzzle into place</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/braving-boundaries-slotting-lifes-puzzle-into-place/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>