<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Career Growth Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/career-growth/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/career-growth/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2026 15:59:14 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Career Growth Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/career-growth/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Messy Middle: Why Self-Awareness Feels Hard</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2026 15:59:06 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Career Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional intelligence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[high achievers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mindset]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Workplace Communication]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235610</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/">The Messy Middle: Why Self-Awareness Feels Hard</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1"><i>Many professionals look successful on the outside while feeling stuck, reactive or disconnected on the inside. This article explores why self-awareness can feel uncomfortable, why growth often gets messy before it gets better and how honest reflection and boundaries can lead to stronger leadership, healthier relationships and lasting change.</i></p> <p class="p1">Hello, my fellow high functioning, “bulletproof” professionals. Let’s have a seat – metaphorically speaking, of course, because standing makes it easier to flee when things get too real. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely survived another week of pretending you have it all together while your internal monologue is a chaotic mix of a business strategy and a silent scream into the vast, empty void.</p> <p class="p1">In the world of Braving Boundaries, we’re diving into self-awareness (catch up on more posts about <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/category/change-2/">boundaries and change</a>). But we aren’t doing the “sparkly Pinterest quote” version where you find your inner light while wearing linen pants on a beach. No. We’re doing the version that feels like finding a cockroach in your designer handbag – shocking, slightly nauseating, somewhat curious and utterly impossible to unsee.<strong></strong></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why most people think they are self-aware</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1249" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Woman-Looking-at-Her-Reflection-in-a-Broken-Mirror-View-more-by-Artmim-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Woman Looking at Her Reflection in a Broken Mirror View more by Artmim from Getty Images" title="Woman Looking at Her Reflection in a Broken Mirror View more by Artmim from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235651" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Before we get personal, let’s look at the numbers. They’re deliciously, darkly grim. According to research by organisational psychologist <a href="https://tashaeurich.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1">Dr. Tasha Eurich</span></a>, 95% of people believe they are self-aware. We all think we’re the hero of the story, the “self-actualised” leader, the person who “gets it”.</p> <p class="p1">It makes us feel good about our own existential crises.</p> <p class="p1">However, the reality is a cold bucket of water – only <b>10% to 15% of people actually meet the criteria</b>. That’s a cold hard reality smack to the face if you ask me. Ego bruised and our perfectly curated delusion smashed like Avo on toast.</p> <p class="p1">That means about 85% of the people you meet today – your boss, your spouse, the person cutting you off in traffic – are walking around in a cloud of blissful, dangerous ignorance. They are unknowingly stepping on toes, alienating colleagues and repeating the same three mistakes like a glitching NPC in a video game.</p> <p class="p1">If you currently feel uncomfortable, itchy in your own skin or suddenly unsure of your “vibe”, congratulations! You’ve likely stumbled out of the delusional 95% and into the “Messy Middle”.</p> <p class="p1">Just like Neo you took the red pill and now there’s no going back. It’s a cramped, confusing place with terrible snacks, but at least the lighting is more honest. Eeeuw! Overhead lighting. I look far better in dimly lit rooms – you know – with “atmosphere” and intrigue.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The professional mask high-achievers wear</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Woman-leading-a-business-presentation-at-a-conference-event-View-more-by-Jacob-Lund-Photography-from-Jacob-Lund.jpg" alt="Woman leading a business presentation at a conference event View more by Jacob Lund Photography from Jacob Lund" title="Woman leading a business presentation at a conference event View more by Jacob Lund Photography from Jacob Lund" class="wp-image-235650" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">As someone who has spent years perfecting the art of being “bulletproof” (albeit with a very chic bulletproof vest), I know the struggle. In the professional world, we’re taught that admitting a struggle is a death sentence for your reputation. We wear our high-functioning anxiety like a tailored blazer – it’s stiff, it’s expensive and it hides the fact that we can’t breathe. Almost like a corset, without the fabulous figure-hugging silhouette.</p> <p class="p1">I remember a specific season of my life where I thought I was being “assertive, clear and efficient”. I was the hero of my own corporate thriller – fearless, climbing mountains, swimming with metaphorical mermaids. Mermaids exist, ok? Then, a “loving critic” (someone who actually likes me but doesn’t mind watching me squirm for my own good) pointed out that my “clear communication” actually felt like a deposition to everyone else in the room.</p> <p class="p1">Shock! Horror!</p> <p class="p1">They told me that when I entered a meeting, people didn’t feel “led”, they felt “interrogated”. As if! I’m a delight.</p> <p class="p1">That moment of awareness didn’t feel like a “breakthrough”. It didn’t feel like a weight that was lifted off my shoulders. It felt like abject humiliation. It felt like I’d been walking around with spinach in my teeth for a decade while giving speeches on dental hygiene. This is the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-ghost-in-the-corner-office-grieving-the-life-you-thought-youd-have/"><span class="s1">“Ghost in the Corner Office”</span></a> (see last month’s article) – the jarring tension between who we thought we were and who we actually are.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Anatomy of Corporate Purgatory</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Aerial-View-of-a-Green-Hedge-Maze-View-more-by-meydiiqbal-from-Gambar-Iqbal-Meidi-hapsal.jpg" alt="Aerial View of a Green Hedge Maze View more by meydiiqbal from Gambar Iqbal Meidi hapsal" title="Aerial View of a Green Hedge Maze View more by meydiiqbal from Gambar Iqbal Meidi hapsal" class="wp-image-235655" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">This brings us to the broader realisation – the Messy Middle isn’t just about your personality. It’s about the work itself. It’s that distinctive, agonising stretch of time where the initial adrenaline of “Innovation!” has evaporated, replaced by the realisation that you’re now professionally obligated to see this through to the bitter end.</p> <p class="p1">In the beginning, everything was beautiful. You had a slide deck with high-resolution stock photos of people pointing at glass walls. You had a budget that hadn’t been reduced by a round of unforeseen integration costs.</p> <p class="p1">You had <i>hope</i>.</p> <p class="p1">But now? You are in the thick of it. The “vision” has been replaced by a spreadsheet with 47 tabs, and the only thing “disrupting” your industry is your own rising blood pressure and a caffeine habit that would concern a cardiologist.</p> <p class="p1">The Messy Middle is the phase where reality finally catches up to your ambition and demands its pound of flesh. In the business world, this is often misdiagnosed as “poor planning”. In reality, it’s simply the point where the complexity of a task finally outweighs the novelty of starting it.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why growth often feels worse before it feels better</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">We’ve been sold a lie that personal and professional growth is a linear, upward trajectory. We think it’s – <i>Ignorance </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Epiphany </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Success.</i></p> <p class="p1">Wrong!</p> <p class="p1">In reality, the process of self-awareness looks much more like – <i>Ignorance </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Horrified Realisation </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Existential Crisis </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> The Messy Middle </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> Tiny Bit of Clarity </i><span class="s1">→</span><i> More Horrified Realisation.</i></p> <p class="p1">It’s so fun!</p> <p class="p1">Increased self-awareness and project maturity bring discomfort because they destabilise your internal status quo.</p> <p class="p1">But here are some reasons why it may feel like you’re failing when you’re actually winning –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The Death of the Avatar – </strong>you have to kill the “Professional Avatar” you built – the one that’s never flustered and always has the answer. Letting it go feels like mourning. But it’s so very freeing.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The Feedback Loop of Doom –</strong> real progress requires external feedback. Hearing that your “passion” looks like “aggression” stings. It makes you want to delete your LinkedIn and move to a farm with mini goats and fluffy cows, daisies growing wild all around you. But …</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The “What” vs. “Why” Trap – </strong>asking “Why” leads to a rumination spiral. Asking “What is happening right now?” leads to observation. But “What” is terrifying because it requires you to look at your behaviour without the shield of an excuse. I sometimes hide behind the cuteness that is my Georgia Peach. Because if you can still see my rubbish behind the adorable fluff ball in front of you, then what I’m selling truly does stink.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Repair Mode: Awareness in Action</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Writing-in-a-notebook-with-a-pen-in-hand-View-more-by-Lina-Darjans-Images.jpg" alt="Writing in a notebook with a pen in hand View more by Lina Darjan's Images" title="Writing in a notebook with a pen in hand View more by Lina Darjan's Images" class="wp-image-235652" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Once you’ve sat in the discomfort and realised that you aren’t the infallible G-d-Queen of the boardroom (I know, it’s a surprise to me too), you enter the most critical phase – <b>Repair Mode</b>.</p> <p class="p1">Self-awareness without repair is just a fancy way of being a self-aware jerk. Repair Mode is the bridge between <i>knowing</i> you’re difficult – or that your project is failing – and <i>actually changing</i> the impact you have on others. It’s where the rubber meets the road and usually, that road is covered in broken glass. So, stepping lightly is usually a good idea. I’d leave the stilettos behind if I were you.</p> <h3 class="p1"><b><i>Step 1: The Tactical Apology (Not the Ego-Stroking One)</i></b></h3> <p class="p1">Repair starts with acknowledging the impact, not the intent. Nobody cares if you “intended” to be helpful when you actually just spoke over them for twenty minutes. Repair Mode sounds like – <i>“I realised that, in our last meeting, I dominated the conversation and didn’t leave room for your input. I’m working on my self-awareness and I’m sorry for the impact that had on the team”.</i></p> <p class="p1">Let’s not go down the same road as Jose Mourinho during his “self-aware” <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=i+appologise+but+i+apologise+to+an+idiot+soccer+coach&sca_esv=4074d84388868a32&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&sxsrf=ANbL-n6YC_6SOX3ewkvjBMSMTCpsGYbFyA:1776333090835&ei=IrHgadLYMoeFhbIPudOayQY&biw=1098&bih=457&ved=0ahUKEwjS8Ya3jPKTAxWHQkEAHbmpJmkQ4dUDCBE&uact=5&oq=i+appologise+but+i+apologise+to+an+idiot+soccer+coach&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiNWkgYXBwb2xvZ2lzZSBidXQgaSBhcG9sb2dpc2UgdG8gYW4gaWRpb3Qgc29jY2VyIGNvYWNoSNQfUPkFWKMacAF4AJABAJgB7AKgAeMdqgEGMi0xMS4yuAEDyAEA-AEBmAIBoAILwgIOEAAYgAQYsAMYhgMYigXCAgsQABiABBiwAxiiBMICCxAAGLADGKIEGIkFmAMA4gMFEgExIECIBgGQBgqSBwExoAenGrIHALgHAMIHAzMtMcgHCYAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:450a2854,vid:ofL054wxBXc,st:0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1">apology</span></a>.</p> <h3 class="p1"><b><i>Step 2: Closing the Gap</i></b></h3> <p class="p1">Repair Mode requires you to close the gap between your perception and theirs. This means asking for real-time course correction. Tell your team – <i>“I know I have a tendency to micromanage when I’m stressed. If you see me doing it, please use the code word ‘Oxygen’. It’ll help me reset”.</i> This gives others permission to help you stay aware. Just remember you gave your team and/or partner this permission – don’t go biting the messenger.</p> <h3 class="p1"><b><i>Step 3: Self-Forgiveness (The Hard Part)</i></b></h3> <p class="p1">You cannot repair a relationship if you’re drowning in self-loathing. If you’re constantly beating yourself up, you become the “victim” again and suddenly the conversation is about <i>your</i> feelings instead of the people you hurt. Repair requires you to be stable enough to hold space for others.</p> <p class="p1">So, pull up your socks and put your “big girl panties” on!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Redefining progress in the Messy Middle</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Stepping-stones-on-a-garden-path-View-more-by-Horia-Ionescus-Images.jpg" alt="Stepping stones on a garden path View more by Horia Ionescu's Images" title="Stepping stones on a garden path View more by Horia Ionescu's Images" class="wp-image-235648" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">In the Messy Middle, you must learn to find “micro-victories”. We used to joke that specialists found joy in a perfectly placed semicolon in a 400-page contract. Because semantics matter. Apparently. But, in the broader business world, it’s about <i>Milestones of Survival</i>.</p> <p class="p1"> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1">Did you make it through a Monday without a “quick sync” that lasted four hours? <i>That’s progress.</i></li> <li class="li1">Did you successfully survive another meeting where “synergy” was offered instead of a functional database? <i>That’s a win.</i></li> <li class="li1">Did you manage to keep your internal monologue from becoming your external dialogue? <i>That’s</i> p<i>romotion material.</i></li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Setting boundaries at work: The brave “No”</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">This is where boundaries go to die. Because you’re desperate for a sense of forward motion, you’re tempted to say “Yes” to every distraction, hoping one of them is the magic bullet. This is a lie. Self-awareness is what helps you recognise when you are overcommitting, people-pleasing or mistaking exhaustion for ambition. True “Braving Boundaries” means having the audacity to protect your focus –</p> <p class="p1"> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><b>The Calendar Boundary – </b>marking yourself as <i>“Busy: Strategic Analysis”</i> for four hours just to do your job, while everyone else assumes you are in a very high-powered meeting about “Leveraging Assets”.</li> <li class="li1"><b>The Emotional Boundary –</b> recognising that a project’s “messiness” isn’t a reflection of your worth. Your value cannot be measured by deadlines, deliverables or this quarter’s spreadsheet.</li> </ul></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why growth happens in difficult seasons</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Rain-in-the-city-View-more-by-Chalabala-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Rain in the city View more by Chalabala from Getty Images" title="Rain in the city View more by Chalabala from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235654" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">Here’s the dark, satirical truth – the finish line is overrated. Once you finish, you just get a bigger, messier project as a “reward” for your competence. The Messy Middle is where the actual growth happens – mostly because you’re too exhausted to maintain your professional facade.</p> <p class="p1">It’s in the middle that teams actually bond (usually over a shared frustration with the new project management software). It’s where processes get lean (because you literally don’t have the energy for the “fluff” anymore). It’s where true leadership is forged (or at least, people who can keep a straight face while explaining a 200% budget overrun are identified for future executive roles).</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>4 survival tactics for overwhelmed professionals</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Lower the Bar –</strong> not for quality, but for your expectations of “perfection”. You’re looking for “functional and not currently on fire.”</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Find Your “Personal Board of Advisors” –</strong> the 2-3 colleagues you can text at 10:00 PM to ask, <i>“Is it just me, or is this whole initiative actually a social experiment?”</i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Acknowledge the Hallucination –</strong> just as AI has “hallucinations”, corporate strategies have them too. When the plan stops making sense, stop following the plan.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Practice Strategic Apathy – </strong>care deeply about the outcome, but care very little about the “noise”. You’re the mountain. A very tired, slightly cynical mountain.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>If your team is stuck in the Messy Middle together, our <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/corporate-creative-workshops-seminars/">corporate workshops</a> are built for exactly this.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Here’s to the Elite (and the Exhausted)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1250" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Happy-beautiful-woman-laughing-while-holding-coffee-View-more-by-YakobchukOlena-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Happy beautiful woman laughing while holding coffee View more by YakobchukOlena from Getty Images" title="Happy beautiful woman laughing while holding coffee View more by YakobchukOlena from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235647" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">At <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span class="s1"><b>Braving Boundaries</b></span></a>, we’ve realised that the most “elite” professionals aren’t the ones with the cleanest desks. They’re the ones who can sit in the middle of a chaotic, half-finished, over-budget disaster and calmly ask,<i> “Ok, what’s the next small step?”</i><i></i></p> <p class="p1">We’re eternally grateful for the Messy Middle. Without it, we wouldn’t need sophisticated technology, high-level strategic consulting or three double espressos before 9:00 AM. We’d just be people with good ideas and no way to execute them.</p> <p class="p1">So, here’s to the orchestrators of the chaos, the survivors of the “mid-project slump” and the professionals who still haven’t figured out why their automated workflows are sending invoices to the office cat.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Ready to brave your boundaries?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If this article made you feel slightly attacked, incredibly seen or just deeply uncomfortable – good. That’s the first step toward a version of you that doesn’t need a cardboard cutout to survive the day.</p> <p class="p1">But you don’t have to navigate the “Messy Middle” or the “Repair Mode” alone. If you’re ready to trade your armour for actual, sustainable growth, it’s time to talk to a professional who knows how to navigate these trenches.</p> <p class="p1"><strong><span class="s1"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><i>Contact</i></a></span><i> Frieda Levycky at Braving Boundaries.</i></strong><b><i></i></b></p> <p class="p1"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/my-story/">Frieda</a> specialises in helping professionals navigate the complex, often messy world of self-awareness, emotional intelligence and sustainable growth. Whether you’re a lawyer, a CEO, an overworked Executive or just someone tired of their own excuses, Frieda provides the sounding board you need to move from “horrified realisation” to “meaningful change”.</p> <p class="p1"><b>Explore <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/">individual coaching with Frieda</a> — designed for professionals who are done performing and ready to do the real work.</b></p> <p class="p1">Stop pretending you’re bulletproof. Start being real. The view from the 15% is much better – even if it takes a little discomfort to get there.</p> <p class="p1"> <p class="p2"><span class="s2"><i>(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </i><a href="https://skillpath.com/blog/self-awareness-is-the-strongest-predictor-of-leadership-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Skillpath</i></span></a><i>; LinkedIn </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/tashaeurich_think-youre-self-aware-odds-are-youre-activity-7361475393603715072-eYRk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i>, </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-three-biggest-self-awareness-lessons-researcher-tasha-eurich/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a></span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s2"><i>and </i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/google-decodes-messy-middle-buying-process-g-david-dodd/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.successpodcast.com/show-notes/2020/5/20/you-arent-actually-self-aware-with-tasha-eurich#:~:text=She%2520is%2520the%2520New%2520York,Understanding%2520how%2520people%2520see%2520us." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Success Podcast</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffkauflin/2017/05/10/only-15-of-people-are-self-aware-heres-how-to-change/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Forbes</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Harvard Business Review</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://medium.com/mind-cafe/why-introspection-isnt-the-best-way-to-self-awareness-140b8492e6fe" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Medium</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://katedejong.com/the-self-awareness-gap/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Kate de Jong</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://tim.blog/2018/09/13/scott-belsky/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Tim Ferriss</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/tasha_eurich_increase_your_self_awareness_with_one_simple_fix" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>TED Talks</i></span></a><i> and </i><a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/news-in-brief/local/taking-stock-part-i/#:~:text=We%2520all%2520look%2520forward%2520to,happens%2520to%2520all%2520of%2520us.&text=But%2520what%2520does%2520that%2520quote,the%2520Forrest%2520for%2520the%2520trees." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Tech4law</i></span></a><i>). <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Mailshot-CTA-images.png" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235639" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/">The Messy Middle: Why Self-Awareness Feels Hard</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-messy-middle-why-self-awareness-feels-hard/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>New year, same stuck feeling?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jan 2025 12:21:52 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Breaking Patterns]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Career Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coaching for Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[feeling stuck]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[goal setting]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Transitions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset Shift]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Navigating Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[New Year Reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[new year resolutions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Development]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235097</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/">New year, same stuck feeling?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Why resolutions fail without self-awareness</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Isn’t it funny how, as the clock strikes 12 on December the 31</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, social media is awash with posts about New Year’s Resolutions: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This will be the year I finally lose the baby weight” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“2025 is my year to get fit”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or better still </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This is the year I make a million quid”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Endless empty promises dominating your news feeds that you just know will be broken the minute the going gets tough.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because let’s be honest, no one’s problems – whether they are health issues, mental health issues, family problems, work problems, weight problems, financial problems – disappear the minute the calendar changes from the 31</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to the 1</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">. The rolling over the date doesn’t make problems disappear. So yeah, the same stuck feeling continues. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The idea that New Year’s Day offers a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“clean slate”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“New Year, New You”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> type mentality is so misleading. Sure, it’s easy to believe that as the new year starts, we get the opportunity to turn over a new leaf. And who can blame our optimism? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But while January the 1</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">st</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> offers an opportunity for a fresh start; the underlying habits and mindsets that led to past failures don’t just disappear overnight.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Real change takes time, and it requires a real shift in mindset. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/New-Year-resolution-concept.-by-Coompia77-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="New Year resolution concept. by Coompia77 from Getty Images" title="New Year resolution concept. by Coompia77 from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235110" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The notion that we can completely change ourselves in the blink of an eye is unrealistic. Sustainable transformation doesn’t happen as soon as we change our minds about a situation. And it certainly won’t happen in the first 31 days of the year. It’s a long-term process that extends far beyond the novelty of a new year.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But there’s no getting away from the fact that New Year’s Resolutions are a part of the festivities. Everyone is doing them. So, it’s only natural that you’ll get caught up in the whole hoopla that the new year offers. And what it offers more than anything else is hope. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hope that change </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> happen. Hope that you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">can</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> make a difference in some aspect of your life. And there’s nothing wrong with hope. It’s the expectations behind the hope that need some adjusting. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because while our intentions are good – they reflect our desire for self-improvement (which is never a bad thing) – we need to remain realistic. The uncomfortable truth is that most new year’s resolutions won’t last until February. According to </span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202412/why-new-years-resolutions-set-you-up-to-fail#:~:text=last%20until%20February.-,Research%20shows%20that%20about%2080%25%20of%20people%20abandon%20their%20resolutions,the%20concept%20itself%20is%20flawed." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Psychology Today</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, research shows that about 80% of people abandon their resolutions within a month.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And the reason for this? We are so quick to set unrealistic goals that we rarely vet our resolutions through the filter of self-awareness. In other words, we gravitate towards aspirational objectives that make sense for someone else – not being entirely realistic for ourselves personally. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s be clear – this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set New Year’s Resolutions. Go ahead. But inform your goals by reflecting on what matters most to you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And you can do this by implementing the following strategies: </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Get to know yourself</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – to set realistic and achievable goals for 2025 (and beyond), you need to understand what really makes you tick. What motivators get you moving and which ones get you to stay on track? Use your answers to bypass self-sabotaging tendencies that cause you to constantly miss your goals, such as trying to work toward big-picture achievements on Fridays when you know you do your best thinking work on Mondays. As you begin to get a better handle on your needs, create smaller, easily achievable tasks that can assist you in fulfilling your larger longer-term objectives. Here, it’s important that these smaller tasks have meaning and will aid in the achievement of your overall yearly objective. A simple tick-box exercise isn’t going to do the trick. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Find smoothie recipes I will actually make,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for example, is a concrete step toward an overall goal of eating healthier in 2025. Over time, you’ll naturally begin to understand how to establish new dreams that help you get out of ruts, overcome your shortcomings, and challenge yourself in positive ways, thereby setting goals that will stick.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Explore the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/enneagram/">enneagram</a></strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – following on from the above, by exploring the enneagram method with a trained professional such as Frieda Levycky at </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, you can delve into what motivates you and answer a burning question – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">why do you do the things you do?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> The enneagram offers profound insights into what makes us tick, such as the unconscious fears buried deep in our psyches that affect our everyday decisions. While you can’t change who you are, there are several benefits to having a deeper understanding of yourself – you can make the most of your strengths and become aware of the things that challenge you; you can face the hidden motivations and fears that rule your life and are holding you back in both your personal and professional life; you can see what lies behind the decisions you make, why you see the world the way you do, where your blind spots and defence mechanisms are, what’s behind your anxieties, and what’s likely to trigger you. Essentially you can live up to your true potential and identify where you can grow and develop. By knowing these things, you can set resolutions that speak to exactly who you are. Because you will know who that is. You will set goals that speak to your specific needs and desires and you’ll be able to set goals that you know you’ll be able to stick to. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Handwritten-2025-GOALS-New-Year-Resolutions-Aims-Goals-on-Paper-Notepad.-Preparation-for-New-Year.-Planning-and-Setting-Goals-for-Personal-Development-by-Анастасия-Янишевская.jpg" alt="Handwritten 2025 GOALS New Year Resolutions Aims Goals on Paper Notepad. Preparation for New Year. Planning and Setting Goals for Personal Development by Анастасия Янишевская" title="Handwritten 2025 GOALS New Year Resolutions Aims Goals on Paper Notepad. Preparation for New Year. Planning and Setting Goals for Personal Development by Анастасия Янишевская" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Focus your mind on past successes</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – while you’re getting to know yourself (pretty well at this point), looking to past failures and ruminating on past wins is the next step. To be clear, the aim is not to focus on the negative. Rather it’s to learn from past mistakes and then reset your focus on your past achievements – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how did you achieve what you set out to achieve?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> By doing so, you shift your focus from </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“How will I achieve this?”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I know I can do this, because I have done it before.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Having a positive outlook is essential to achieving the new goals you set for yourself because you will have a resilient, success-driven mindset. When you find yourself lamenting too long on prior mistakes, force yourself to revisit your accomplishments. Over time, you’ll naturally begin to look for the silver lining, which will help you see yourself as worthy, competent, and successful rather than unable to get a leg up. Your resolutions will start to fall into place because you’ll know you have done it before. And that’s half the battle won. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Reframe your why</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– the next step in getting to know yourself and really practicing the act of self-awareness is to take the time to ask yourself why this particular goal matters to you. Are you choosing it because it’s something you deeply value, or because you feel you should? Is it something you really want to achieve – and by now if you have really got to know yourself and employed the enneagram method, you should be able to answer this question – or is this goal linked more towards what society thinks you should be achieving. Like getting a ”Snatched body” or a “revenge body” by March. Aligning your goals with intrinsic motivations creates a greater sense of purpose. So, in the examples we have given, instead of focusing on “getting a revenge body by March” reframe your resolution around </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“feeling stronger and having more energy so I can do fun activities with family.” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">See the difference there? Make sure you’re setting goals for you and not because society expects you to. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Forget perfection</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – the last point we want to make about making resolutions through self-awareness is the perfection conundrum. The pressure that comes with expecting perfection from your new year’s resolution is immense. It’s the enemy of progress. And it’s a sure-fire way to set ourselves up to fail by aiming for an ideal that is simply too hard to achieve. Resolutions like </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to work out every day,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to eat clean all month,”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> are doomed to fail from the start because they leave little room for imperfection. Remember that </span><b><i>life happens</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Don’t let one slip-up on the road to achieving your long-term goal lead you to giving up. The key to success isn’t perfection. It’s consistency. The smallest changes, done consistently can make a big difference in your life. Don’t give up. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Just-go-with-the-flow-View-more-by-Nicola-Katie-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Just go with the flow View more by Nicola Katie from Getty Images Signature" title="Just go with the flow View more by Nicola Katie from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235109" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once your resolution has gone through the self-awareness check, the rest is easy. Sure, we can remind you to have fun, don’t take yourself too seriously, track your progress (not your perfection); be flexible and most importantly be kind to yourself – but these points are applicable to every situation. Not just when setting your resolutions or better put – goals – for 2025. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The important take-away here is that change isn’t just about acting. It’s about knowing yourself first in order to make your goals achievable. Lastly, it’s important to note that you don’t need to wait until January to start over. Every day is an opportunity to reshape your life with goals that honour who you are and where you want to go.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And to this we say</span><b> – Carpe Diem friends!</b></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/why-self-aware-resolutions-are-way-to-go-in-2020.html"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Inc.</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; Psychology Today </span></i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202412/why-new-years-resolutions-set-you-up-to-fail#:~:text=They're%20Based%20on%20All,feel%20like%20you've%20failed."><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/202412/why-new-years-resolutions-set-you-up-to-fail#:~:text=last%20until%20February.-,Research%20shows%20that%20about%2080%25%20of%20people%20abandon%20their%20resolutions,the%20concept%20itself%20is%20flawed."><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">here</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-6823972"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.lhsdoi.com/29285/opinion/failed-by-february-why-your-new-years-resolutions-never-last/"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Drops of Ink</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/02/11/this-is-the-month-when-new-years-resolutions-fail-heres-how-to-save-them/"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Forbes</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <a href="https://calendly.com/bravingboundaries/exploration-call"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-7.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (7)" class="wp-image-235105" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/">New year, same stuck feeling?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/new-year-same-stuck-feeling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>