<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>addressing your fears Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/addressing-your-fears/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/addressing-your-fears/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Tue, 17 Sep 2024 06:19:03 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>addressing your fears Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/tag/addressing-your-fears/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 17 Sep 2024 06:18:56 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[addressing your fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[be the best you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stepping into change]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6301</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/">The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Picture this – you are contacted by a prestigious corporate association – or something similar – to speak at an upcoming legal forum. Not just to speak at the forum, to be </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> speaker at the forum. And it’s on a topic that you have researched countless times, speak about constantly and on which you have plenty of opinions. To top it off, the organisers are the nicest ladies and make you feel so comfortable. It would be a brilliant opportunity for your little business – you would get a lot of exposure. Free publicity in a sense. It would catapult your business a few steps forward and is exactly what you need. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Only you would need to attend the forum in person. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem with this is twofold (well multiple fold if there is such a thing). Your self-confidence is at an all-time low. Since being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition – which has left your joints and bones in literal pins and needles and constant pain – you don’t feel like yourself. Being on a stage is the last thing you want to do. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other problem is that your immune system is essentially non-existent. Especially in Winter. Which means you’re picking up every little virus, bug or disease that happens to be circulating. So, being out in public, especially amid a big crowd is a bad idea. There are ways around this of course, but you can’t bring yourself to help yourself.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You convince yourself of other reasons that you simply can’t commit to the event. And you justify them with a number of real reasons. Reasons that you could get over, in truth. And then just as soon as the opportunity came your way, it disappears in an instant.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-3.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (3)" class="wp-image-6320" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the aftermath of this ordeal, you are left wondering what on earth happened. How could you have let this opportunity slip through your fingers so easily. At least, that’s what I thought when this happened to me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Here’s the thing – and it’s kind of weird to say – I was a little worried about what would happen afterwards. Would my work-life balance be upended once again because I take on too much? I want to succeed (really badly), and I have all the right tools at my disposal to make it happen. I just can’t get out of my own way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a hard thing to come to terms with because no one wants to admit that they are the ones that could be secretly sabotaging their own success out of fear. But many people experience a hidden, yet powerful force called “fear of success.” Self-efficacy, or the belief in one’s ability to achieve goals, plays a significant role in this fear.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognise this kind of fear. Most people have never considered that a fear of success could be holding them back. But I swear to you it just may be. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>So, what is the fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">A fear of success is very real, it’s quite common and it can hold you back in the worst kind of way – it can cause you to lose out on a lot of opportunities in life. When you’re too afraid to take risks in order to move forward with the goals you have set for yourself – either consciously or unconsciously – you get stuck in one place, neither moving forward or backward.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it makes sense if you think about it – expectations of success are often based on the idea that achieving your goals means making sacrifices or enduring losses. Ultimately to get what you desire you have to give up something else, right? It’s therefore not surprising that people would be wary of what success might ultimately cost them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of success was first diagnosed by Psychologist Matina Horner during the early 1970s. Her findings, especially as they related to fear of success in women at that time, were incredibly controversial. Since then, however, most scientists and psychologists agree that fear of success exists for both men and women.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The key dimension in Horner’s (1970; Journal of Social Issues, 28(2), 157–175, 1972) studies was gender. In a current study (2023) (which further develops Horner’s theory), the key dimension is social class. It was hypothesised that individuals from socio-economically disadvantaged backgrounds fear that, for them, success will lead to alienation from their community, and the loss of identity and loss of overall sense of belonging within their culture. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Eleven participants took part in the current study, three males and eight females. The majority of participants believed that they would </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have to make vast life changes</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, in order to facilitate their views of desired success. The participants’ fear was rooted in what they perceived as the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“consequences of success.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> These participants occupied a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“trade-off mindset;”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for these young people, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">success meant leaving their family, friends, community, and culture behind</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. The thought of losing this “connection” and sense of belonging was expressed with noticeable anxiety.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">(my </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">emphasis</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As we can tell from the above extract from the study, fear of success is most often the fear of the possible change or consequences of success. It’s an anticipation of how others — and oneself — will respond to the success. The concern is that achieving success will come at the cost of something else valued in one’s life. In many ways, it’s similar to the fear of failure.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes the fear of success can be obvious. Other times it can lie just below the surface, noted in patterns of thought and/or actions repeated by the individual. It takes a high level of self-awareness to identify your own fear of success.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-4.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (4)" class="wp-image-6321" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How the fear of success can manifest in your life</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">A fear of success can manifest in a variety of ways. Identifying these sources can help you deal with your fear down the line –</span></p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Avoidance</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you may avoid being the centre of attention, being praised, or use other avoidance strategies like the plague;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Procrastination</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you may put off starting and/or completing a project. As a result of your procrastination, the opportunity may be missed altogether, or the end product may be an epic failure, either way you didn’t perform to the best of your ability;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Perfectionism</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">– you may believe that you are keeping the bar high but by holding an impossibly high standard of perfection, the outcome will inevitably be disappointing. To you and everyone else.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Quitting</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s easier to quit just as the goal comes into sight than to complete the job and let the chips fall where they may, right?</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self-sabotage</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – this is a big one. You get in your own way </span><b>All. The. Time.</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Setting obstacles in your own way so that it becomes impossible to succeed. You set yourself up to fail;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self -destructiveness</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">at its worst, the fear of success may involve self-destructive behaviour. Left unchecked, that derails any real opportunity for success. Again, you set yourself up to fail time and time again.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Reluctance to Set Goals:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> setting big goals seems scary, or arrogant or you just never make the time for it. It might be because setting such goals brings a clear pathway to success, and not setting them is a way to avoid facing the fear of achieving success.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Feeling Unworthy:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> you harbour the misguided belief that you don’t deserve success. You decline to speak at that big meeting or to be a guest on that podcast because you don’t feel good enough. It can prevent you from pursuing opportunities wholeheartedly and might make you feel like an imposter in your own life.</span></li> </ol></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What causes your fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The age-old question, right? </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The why. </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all want to know why something happens, why we do the things we do – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Imposter syndrome</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you know that old sneaky feeling of </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“my work isn’t good enough” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“they will realise my work doesn’t live up to expectations” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“they’ll find out that I’m a fraud?” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yes, a lot of us have those feelings when starting out and especially when we put ourselves out there, afraid that we will be discovered</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">as a fake / a phoney. Sometimes those of us who experience success fear our achievements are undeserved or not as good as others in our field. We fear that we won’t be able to live up to expectations or that other people will discover that we aren’t up for the challenge. I’m sure there are many of us that can relate to this one.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Tall poppy syndrome</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – this refers to a social phenomenon where people who are perceived to be more successful or prominent than others in a community are criticised, resented or targeted because of their success. It’s a dynamic where the “tall poppies” are cut down to size, essentially discouraging people from rising above the average.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Fear of backlash</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s like I said – consequences of success. People fear success because of the anticipated potential social or relational repercussions. Researchers call this phenomenon “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">backlash</span></i> <i><span style="font-weight: 400;">avoidance</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.” For example, women may avoid self-promotion because they fear it does not align with traditional gender roles. Researchers have found that women tend to associate success with more significant negative consequences;</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-5.png" alt="" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (5)" class="wp-image-6322" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Negative experiences</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – ever been called a “show off” after doing well? Even if it was said in jest. Did you feel a little pang of awkwardness or unease? Even if it was just a little. This is what I mean about negative experiences. If you have endured any hardship because of your success— you may also fear doing well again in the future.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Poor self-efficacy</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – or self-belief. This refers to how you perceive yourself and your own self-belief, how you foresee yourself achieving your goals. Naturally how you feel about yourself or your self-confidence will not only play a role in how you think about yourself, but it will also influence your behaviours and motivation to go after your goals. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Social anxiety</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– social anxiety is a mental health disorder and refers to someone’s fear about being judged or embarrassed in social situations. Because they experience intense physical symptoms of fear in these situations, they often avoid them altogether. A person with social anxiety will fear succeeding because they want to avoid being in the spotlight. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How can you overcome your fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">If, after reading the above, you realise that you have your own fear of success, then you have taken an important first step. From here it may take some trial and error before you find what works best for you, but here are some ways you can tackle this fear – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self – reflection</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I think this is one of the most important things you can do. You have acknowledged the fear, now start with trying to understand the root of it. It could be past experiences or deep-seated beliefs that are holding you back. Ask yourself, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what am I afraid of? Is this likely to happen?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And if it did happen, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how would I cope with it?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Asking yourself these questions helps you to identify the fear and then assists you to plan for how you would cope if that fear did come true.</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Examine your past experiences with success, going back to your childhood to figure out how you got here. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Think about earlier successes and what happened as a result.</span></i></p> <p> </div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Note how fear manifests</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– consider how your fear of success shows itself. I personally am not a big “journaller,” but it may be helpful to keep a journal (or perhaps just call it a notebook?) and make a list of all the ways you’ve been sabotaging your path to success. Writing it down will help put it all in focus. Identifying these behaviours means you can start facing them head on, making plans on how you can counteract them.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Visualise success</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– success, like everything in life, has its complications. So, ask yourself, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what does success mean to you? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">It may be useful to visualise success with the corresponding idea that it’s not likely to be all roses and sunshine – because let’s be honest, when is anything all roses? Nothing’s perfect. So, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what are the potential positives and negatives of being successful? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Imagine achieving your goal, what may happen as a result, and diverse ways you might deal with it.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-1-Medium.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (1) (Medium)" class="wp-image-6325" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Manage stress and anxiety</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– everyday stress and anxiety may be contributing to your fears. Here are some general lifestyle tips that can help – </span></p> <p> </p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Eat well</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – aim for a balanced diet that provides all the necessary nutrients. Don’t skip meals.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Avoid junk</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – go easy on alcohol, caffeine, and highly processed foods.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Relax</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – make time to chill so that you can read, soak in the tub or whatever helps you wind down. And I mean every day, not on an odd occasion. Everyone needs a daily wind down.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Exercise</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – some physical activity is important to overall good health. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Socialize</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – share a few laughs, talk things over, and hold your support network close.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Volunteer</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – helping others is a great way to distract you from your own fears.</span></li> </ol></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><b>Get professional help or coaching</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if the fear of success is significantly hindering your progress, considering therapy can be a beneficial step. A therapist can help in uncovering the underlying issues and can help you work through them. If therapy isn’t something you think you need, a life coach could help you examine your mindset and help you to set goals, act and shift your beliefs in more positive ways. Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is perfectly poised to support you in this endeavour. </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with her to see how you can work together.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Marianne Williamson in </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/845977.A_Return_to_Love" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’”</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> famously said:</span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A powerful quote because it demands that we ask more of ourselves. It demands that we have self-confidence because we are worthy. Beyond imagination. In fact, it tells us that we are powerful beyond measure. And that realisation can be a lot for us to bear. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because the fear of success is very real. It’s also very common. Coming to terms with it, dealing with it and learning how to overcome it can be a lifelong journey. One that you must take with self-compassion, perseverance, persistence, resilience and a big helping of self-belief in order to live a life where you are your best you through and through.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.calmer-you.com/fear-of-success/#:~:text=What%20is%20fear%20of%20success,by%20the%20idea%20of%20succeeding." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Calmer You</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-success-5179184" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind; </span></i></a><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/fear-of-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Better Up</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.mindtools.com/anwsvkb/fear-of-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mind Tools</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/fear-of-success#strategies" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Healthline</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/257488383_A_phenomenological_reinterpretation_of_Horner's_fear_of_success_in_terms_of_social_class" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Research Gate</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-6274" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/">The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>5 Ways to Navigate the Fear of Change</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/5-ways-to-navigate-the-fear-of-change/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/5-ways-to-navigate-the-fear-of-change/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 03 Jul 2024 20:25:54 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Enneagram]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[addressing your fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety spiral]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[career change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[country change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[job change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[metathesiophobia]]></category> <category><![CDATA[one life live it]]></category> <category><![CDATA[phobias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationship change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[risk reward]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stress]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6162</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/5-ways-to-navigate-the-fear-of-change/">5 Ways to Navigate the Fear of Change</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Part of the </span><b><i>The Fears</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> series)</span></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s natural for every human being on the face of the planet to be comfortable with the status quo. We all revel in the comfort zone, with our little routines, with going to the same grocery stores, eating at the same restaurants, and doing the same thing. It gives us a sense of control – and which one of us doesn’t want to have a sense of control over our own lives? We all do. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It makes us feel secure, like we are on top of things – especially in a world that often feels like it’s so out of control. With our lives feeling like everything fits nicely into little compartments, tidy and well organized, adding anything into the mix other than what we know is enough to drive anyone over the edge. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yes, we are talking about </span><b><i>change</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. A somewhat innocuous word but one that has the ability to send chills up and down the spine of even the strongest person. Sweat dripping down your face and your palms getting hot and flustered, the thought of anything disrupting your beautiful, predictable world has you in a tailspin. And trust us, you wouldn’t be alone. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a recent study by TePe as part of a campaign raising awareness about the importance of good oral health, it found that millions of Brits admit they hate change – but many recognise it could be holding them back. For example, 32% of those polled fear they’ve missed out on new experiences and opportunities because of their reluctance to break the mould, while 26% of adults lack the confidence to try new things, and 14% worry their attitude to change will negatively affect their health (</span><a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fear-change-study-poll-adults-b2392623.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Independent</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">).</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>But what makes us fear change?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1249" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/5-Ways-to-Navigate-the-Fear-of-Change-4.png" alt="" title="5 Ways to Navigate the Fear of Change (4)" class="wp-image-6184" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">It seems like we are hard wired to resist change. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, the fear of change is evolutionary and dates back to ancestral times – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Our ancestors preferred constancy as they inherently knew that change often brought a lack of safety.</span></i></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">For example, our ancestors needed to move around to search for food, water, and shelter to survive. Staying in a location where these essential resources had been depleted out of fear could ultimately lead to starvation, dehydration, or death of the pack.” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(</span><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/i-fear-change-how-to-cope-with-the-unknown-5189851" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It makes sense – intrinsically we are aware that dealing with the unknown or the unfamiliar poses a risk: it might be scary; it might bring with it a “lack of safety.” All theoretical, let’s be honest. None of us are fighting for our survival out in the wilderness – at least not in large numbers in any event – but that irrational fear is still present. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it’s that irrational fear that says: </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“If I were to try something new (e.g. move house, change jobs, get into a new relationship etc.), it might be incredible, but:</span></i></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I might fail</span></i></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I might not meet expectations</span></i></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I might be disappointed</span></i></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I might be out of my depth</span></i></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I might not know what is going on</span></i></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><i>I might feel like an imposter.”</i></li> </ul> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that’s what keeps holding us back.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change is scary. It’s the act of putting yourself out there – putting yourself into a vulnerable position, sometimes having to start from scratch – that poses a very real fear for most rational people. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As Manly sets out in </span><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/i-fear-change-how-to-cope-with-the-unknown-5189851" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – </span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“When life feels predictable, we experience less stress and anxiety because we know what to expect. When life doesn’t feel predictable, and we are uncertain about what might be around the next corner, we feel stressed and anxious.”</span></i></p></blockquote></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>When your irrational fear of change is more than just the jitters</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1249" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/5-Ways-to-Navigate-the-Fear-of-Change-1.png" alt="" title="5 Ways to Navigate the Fear of Change (1)" class="wp-image-6181" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">It seems that the real fear of change – when it’s more than just the jitters – is an actual clinical phobia termed </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">metathesiophobia</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While we all experience the fear of change, having a phobia like metathesiophobia will result in more extreme symptoms. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some of the common signs and symptoms of metathesiophobia are set out below (though if you recognise any of these symptoms, before jumping to conclusions, do speak to your doctor for a formal diagnosis) – </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You feel stuck in a situation but make no attempt at creating positive change;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You stay in a failing or toxic relationship, knowing it best to leave;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You remain in a dead-end job instead of searching for an ideal career; </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You have extreme anxiety over what is going to happen in your future;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You cannot accept simple life changes whether within or outside of your control;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You refuse to stray from an everyday routine because you’re uncertain of what will happen if you don’t stick to it;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You don’t socialise;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You frequently feel nauseous or have indigestion when you think about change;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You experience heart palpitations when you think about change, and</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">You find yourself shaking, sweating, or trembling at the thought of change.</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To further understand how the fear of change can affect someone in a clinical sense, one needs to understand the difference between constructive and destructive fear. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Constructive fear is the fear of an actual, physical threat and its purpose is to keep one safe from danger. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Destructive fear – as the converse implies – is the fear of a non-existent threat i.e. there’s no actual threat. It’s only our minds playing tricks on us. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Depending on the severity of a person’s fear of change, the fear could become a destructive fear. If left untreated or unchecked it could lead to –</span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Depression;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Anxiety;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Isolation;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Avoidance;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Stress;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Substance use disorders;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Staying in unhealthy environments;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Staying in toxic relationships, and</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Suicidal ideation (</span><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/i-fear-change-how-to-cope-with-the-unknown-5189851" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the </span><a href="https://www.sadag.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1904&Itemid=151" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Suicide Crisis Helpline</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in South Africa on 0800 567 567 for support and assistance from a trained counsellor. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How can one cope with the fear of change?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Diagnosed phobias aside, how does a person who is struggling to accept change cope with it?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Here are a few suggestions:</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Start with self-awareness </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– realise that you are merely human, that your daily comforts and routines are good for your sanity and try to keep you centred. BUT (and there’s always a but) know when you become too comfortable, too stagnant, too set in your ways. Know when your feeling of safety and security is keeping you from moving forwards in a positive manner. Know when your comfort is keeping you from achieving your goals. There needs to be a limit of how “secure” in the status quo you remain and that can only be determined by you.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Practice acceptance</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– it may seem like an impossible thing to do, but one of the first things you can do when faced with change is to accept that it’s happening. Take ownership, (as much as one can) of it. Some of the feelings that come with change, especially when it’s thrust upon you, is disempowerment. And that’s because it’s happening to you, instead of you taking charge of it. But if you accept it, take ownership of it, and realise that it’s happening, you can start to take back the power. Lean into the change, acknowledge that it’s there and that it’s now a part of your life – with all that it entails. From there, you can work on finding ways to take that change and move it in a new direction – one that suits you. Make it your own.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Control what you can</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– part of the strife that people find with change is the disempowerment that comes with it. So, leading on from Point 2, is putting things into action. Take decisive steps to help the situation you find yourself in. Make plans and increase your sense of control. Part of making plans can come from journaling – freely being the caveat. Allow yourself to freely jot down thoughts, feelings, ideas, road maps. Whatever you feel. You never know when something may be shaken from the tree. But writing it down, even in free flow, allows your mind to expand which can result in plans developing. From there you can take a rough idea and expand on it, develop a real road map of where you want to go. And it all starts with the jotting down of one idea and one action item. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1249" height="937" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/5-Ways-to-Navigate-the-Fear-of-Change-2.png" alt="" title="5 Ways to Navigate the Fear of Change (2)" class="wp-image-6182" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Limit your stress</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– change is inherently stressful, but given that stress has a way of creating health risks, it’s important to manage stress levels when experiencing change. Stress-management can come in a variety of forms. Perhaps it’s simply changing your perspective of change. See it as an invitation for new possibilities rather than a threat to the status quo. Perhaps stress can be managed through meditation or through speaking with a counsellor/coach or talking to friends or family. Whatever works for you – but manage your stress. Whatever that entails.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Practice patience</strong> <i><span style="font-weight: 400;">– </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">remember the adage “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">life is about the journey, not the destination</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”, well that rings true here. Change is just a part of life – nothing ever </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">really</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> remains the same. As a human being you will experience a variety of life changes – growing up, changing jobs, getting married, having children, getting divorced, travel, death, moving home. The important thing here is not to view a change as something that you have to get use to immediately. Change (and the transition that comes with it) takes time. It will require plenty of patience and the acceptance that it may take a while to settle into a new way of life. And that’s ok. As long as you work on it, a little every day. But whatever you do, don’t fight against it. Take it all in your stride, remembering that it’s all a part of your journey. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change is inevitable. Some say: “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">as good as a holiday</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.” However you view change, the one thing we can say is don’t live your life on autopilot. Sometimes it takes the act of changing to realise your potential, to see what you’re really made of.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As Roy T. Bennett says</span><b> – </b></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change can be seen as an act of transformation if you just get out of your own way. </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/i-fear-change-how-to-cope-with-the-unknown-5189851" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/the-adaptive-mind/201809/how-overcome-the-fear-change" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Psychology Today</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.realsimple.com/fear-of-change-7100822" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Real Simple</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.heart.org/en/news/2020/02/04/chronic-stress-can-cause-heart-trouble#:~:text=Stress%20may%20lead%20to%20high,and%20lack%20of%20physical%20activity." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Heart</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-4.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (4)" class="wp-image-6189" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/5-ways-to-navigate-the-fear-of-change/">5 Ways to Navigate the Fear of Change</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/5-ways-to-navigate-the-fear-of-change/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>