<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Mid-Life Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/category/mid-life/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/mid-life/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 12:54:50 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Mid-Life Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/mid-life/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Identity Purgatory – Surviving the “New Year, New Me” Glitch of 2026</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 12:54:43 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mid-Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[midlife reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal insight]]></category> <category><![CDATA[redefining yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[slowing down]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sustainable change]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235554</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/">The Identity Purgatory – Surviving the “New Year, New Me” Glitch of 2026</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p class="p1">It is January 2026, and the collective vibe is less “sparkling fresh start” and more “just trying to keep the engine from smoking.” We are officially back at our desks, staring at cursors that blink with judgmental rhythm, trying to remember how to be productive members of society. Let’s be real – 2025 was a total junkyard of a year – a chaotic pileup of weird weather, weirder politics, and personal hurdles that felt less like “growth” and more like an obstacle course designed by a sadist.</p> <p class="p1">But here we are. It’s the Year of the Fire Horse, the seventh sign in the 12-year cycle of the Chinese zodiac, that practically screams, “Giddy up, we have places to be!” Yet, for many of us, there’s a problem. You’ve outgrown your old self – that person who tolerated that specific job, those draining habits, or that particular way of moving through the world. Problem is, your new identity hasn’t actually arrived in the mail yet. You’re living in a psychological studio apartment with no furniture and a weird smell. Eeeuw!</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Liminal Space – Where Your Old Self Goes to Die (Slowly)</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><blockquote> <p><i>A liminal space is the “betwixt and between” state—a threshold where you have left one room but haven’t quite entered the next. Derived from the Latin word limen (meaning “threshold”), it describes a period of transition where normal rules and fixed identities are suspended.</i></p> </blockquote> <p class="p2">This isn’t about being indecisive or “losing your spark.” This is what psychologists call a liminal space – the threshold between “what was” and “what is next.” According to research on identity transition, this middle phase is often characterised by a loss of “identity anchors,” which can lead to significant distress (Ibarra, 2003).</p> <p class="p2">As someone who navigates the world with a “triple threat” of diagnosed anxiety, depression, and an autoimmune condition that turns my joints into rusty hinges whenever I’m stressed, I can tell you – this in-between phase is a nightmare for the nervous system. My anxiety wants a 5-year plan, my autoimmune system wants a nap, and my family issues want a therapist on 24-hour retainer.</p> <p class="p2">When you’ve outgrown a version of yourself, the old coping mechanisms stop working. For me, that meant “powering through” (the old me’s specialty) started resulting in physical flare-ups that made me feel like I’d been hit by a very small, very targeted truck. You realise the old “you” was a suit of armour that’s now three sizes too small. You’re hulking out of it, and it’s deeply embarrassing.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Humour of the Void</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/office-chair-with-loading-post-it.jpg" alt="Metal door View more by pixbox77 from Getty Images" title="office chair with loading post it" class="wp-image-235575" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">We have to laugh, because if we don’t, we’ll end up sobbing into a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal. There is something objectively funny about being a “Self in Progress.” It’s like being a website under construction in 1998 – lots of yellow “Caution” tape and a spinning “Loading” icon that never seems to finish.</p> <p class="p1">We are often our own worst critics during this transition. We think, <i>“Why haven’t I figured out my new passion yet?”</i> or <i>“Why do I feel like a stranger in my own life?”</i> The truth is identity isn’t a light switch – it’s a slow-cooker. Research in self-determination theory suggests that forcing an identity before it’s ready leads to “introjected regulation” – basically, you’re just performing a role because you think you should, which is the fast track to burnout (Ryan & Deci, 2000). And that’s far from ideal.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Advice from the Trenches – How to “Horse” When You Feel More Like a Snail</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p2">Since 2026 is the Year of the Horse, and Mark Twain famously said, <i>“The secret of getting ahead is getting started,”</i> we do eventually have to move. But “starting” doesn’t mean you need to have the finished map. It just means you need to stop sitting in the wreckage of 2025. So, –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Lower the Bar</strong><b> –</b> if you’re dealing with health or mental struggles, your “forward momentum” might just be putting on clean socks. That counts. Believe me. In the Year of the Horse, even a slow trot is better than being stuck in the mud.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Embrace the “I Don’t Know”</strong><b> –</b> tell people, <i>“I’m in a transition period.” </i>It sounds fancy shmancy and uber professional, like you’re a corporate merger instead of a person who forgot how to have a personality.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Go with the Flow (With Direction)</strong><b> –</b> sometimes the best way to find the new “you” is to stop looking for them and start doing things that don’t make you feel like garbage. Follow the path of least (internal) resistance.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Leaving Old Habits Behind</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/woman-walking-away-from-the-cocoon-she-has-been-in-smiling-serene.jpg" alt="" title="woman walking away from the cocoon she has been in, smiling, serene" class="wp-image-235576" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If you get to the point where you decide that the time has come to once and for all leave your old habits behind, figuring out which ones to leave behind is less about a dramatic “purge” and more about an investigative audit of your current life.</p> <p class="p1">Here is a step-by-step guide to identifying which old habits no longer fit the version of you that’s currently loading –</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Conduct a “Pattern Audit” of Your Stress</strong> – don’t look at your best days. Look at your worst. As ugly as they may be. Research suggests that our “default identity” – the one we snap back to under pressure – is where our most outdated habits live – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – after a tense moment, ask yourself: <i>What did I feel? What did I do? What was I trying to protect?</i><i></i></li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goa</i>l – identify if you are habitually defaulting to being the “avoider,” the “perfectionist,” or the “people-pleaser” just to survive. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Monitor Your “Energy Leaks” </strong><b>– </b>pay attention to which routines feel like a “suffocating cage” rather than a stable foundation – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – spend three days tracking your response to common triggers. Note if a habit (like scrolling for hours or over-committing) leaves you feeling drained rather than energised.</li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – if a habit feels “hollow” even after you’ve rested, it’s a psychological clue you’ve outgrown it. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Use the “Identity Vote” Method </strong>– think of every action as a vote for the person you want to be (this is a good one) –</p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step </i>– write down 1 – 3 “identity statements” for your 2026 self (e.g., “I’m someone who prioritises peace”).</li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – look at your daily habits. If a habit – like checking work emails at 11 PM – is a “vote” for your 2025 stressed-out self, it’s time to put it on the chopping block. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Differentiate Between Procrastination and Growth </strong><b>– </b>sometimes we think we’re failing at a habit when we’ve actually just outgrown the goal it was serving – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – ask yourself – <i>do I need more structure to do this (procrastination), or do I need the space to stop doing it entirely (growth)?</i><i></i></li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – if the goal itself no longer excites you, the habit supporting it is just “noise” you can safely drop in 2026. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Create “Identity Bridges”</strong> – instead of trying to vanish an old habit overnight, build a bridge to a new one (this is sometime far less pressurising) – </p> <ul class="ul1"> <li class="li1"><i>The Step</i> – replace, don’t just remove. If your old habit was “saying yes out of guilt,” your identity bridge is “checking in with myself for 60 seconds before answering any request”.</li> <li class="li1"><i>The Goal</i> – this reduces the “cognitive dissonance” of trying to be a whole new person while still living in your old reality. </li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Trust the Glitch</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p class="p1">If you feel like you’re failing because you aren’t “rebranded” by January 31st, give yourself a break. Seriously. <b>You aren’t a failure</b>. You’re just moulting. And like a crab without a shell, you’re currently soft, vulnerable, and probably a bit cranky (change – any change – makes most of us cranky).</p> <p class="p1">Healthy development requires the absence of clarity. You cannot see the new horizon until you’ve cleared the fog of the old one. So, while 2026 demands we move forward, remember that a horse doesn’t just gallop. It also grazes, rests, and occasionally looks at a fence and thinks, <i>“Not today mon cherie.”</i><i></i></p> <p class="p1">Be kind to the version of you that is currently loading. They’re going to be pretty great once the Wi-Fi catches up.</p> <p class="p1">If you are struggling to figure out which “old habits” to leave behind this year, get in touch with Frieda Levycky of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span class="s1">Braving Boundaries</span></a> who can provide advice and support to help you get started.</p> <p class="p2"><span class="s2"><i>(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </i><a href="https://www.soulfulstrides.co.nz/blog-lifecoaching/the-identity-shift-how-to-become-the-2026-version-of-you#:~:text=Identity%2520change%2520happens%2520through%2520gentle,offers%2520%25E2%2580%2594%2520linked%2520in%2520my%2520header." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Soulful strides</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://ningcollective.com/blogs/articles/signs-youve-outgrown-yourself-how-to-differentiate-between-procrastination-and-growth" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Ning Collective</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://breakthatspace.in/2026/01/07/signs-youve-outgrown/#:~:text=How%2520your%2520day%2520feels,have%2520a%2520good%2520night's%2520sleep." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Breakthatspace</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits#:~:text=There%2520are%2520two%2520steps.,get%2520the%2520outcome%2520I%2520want?%25E2%2580%259D" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>James Clear</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://hbr.org/2026/01/leaders-bring-your-best-self-into-the-new-year" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Harvard Business Review</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/articles/202601/7-power-moves-for-2026#:~:text=Talk%2520about%2520yourself%252C%2520to%2520yourself,else's%2520personality%2520for%2520a%2520day." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Psychology Today</i></span></a><i>; </i><a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12109062/#:~:text=Behavioural%2520intention%252C%2520self%252Ddetermined%2520motivation,et%2520al.%252C%25202024)." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>National Library of Medicine</i></span></a><i>; Medium </i><a href="https://medium.com/@svwvqgrtb/identity-first-habits-second-why-change-starts-within-d932df4b31dc" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a><i> and </i><a href="https://medium.com/change-your-mind/5-signs-you-are-outgrowing-your-old-self-759580eeb7c6" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>here</i></span></a></span><span class="s3">;</span><span class="s2"><i> </i><a href="https://medium.com/change-your-mind/5-signs-you-are-outgrowing-your-old-self-759580eeb7c6" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Bolde</i></span></a></span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s2"><i>and </i><a href="https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2000_RyanDeci_SDT.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span class="s1"><i>Self-Determination Theory</i></span></a><i>). <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Mailshot-CTA-images.png" alt="" title="Mailshot CTA images" class="wp-image-235573" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/">The Identity Purgatory – Surviving the “New Year, New Me” Glitch of 2026</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/navigating-change-new-year-new-me/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Who You Were, Who You Are and Who You Are Becoming</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/who-you-were-who-you-are-and-who-you-are-becoming/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/who-you-were-who-you-are-and-who-you-are-becoming/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 26 Jun 2025 14:32:15 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life after Law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mid-Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Authenticity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional Wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Identity]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Transitions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Acceptance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-reflection]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235268</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/who-you-were-who-you-are-and-who-you-are-becoming/">Who You Were, Who You Are and Who You Are Becoming</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <h2><strong>INTRODUCTION: WHY SELF-REFLECTION MATTERS</strong></h2> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I read a quote the other day that said – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“A person without self-reflection never changes they just get older.”</span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it got me thinking. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">About who I am. Who I was. And mostly on who I am still becoming. Because life is a journey. We all know that. A journey with so many twists and turns, bumps in the road, U-turns, and dead ends. Where we thought we would end up is hardly ever the place we foresaw in our daydreaming’s. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I have said this on more than one occasion –</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> if my younger self could see me now</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. And I am never quite sure in those moments whether I am saying that in a state of appreciation or disapproval. Perhaps a little of both. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What I know for sure is that it has taken a lot of work to get to where I am – both work in the real sense, my 9-5 work, but also work on myself, my inner self, to get to a place where I am ok with who and what I am. With who I am becoming. There is so much that can be said for that.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What it comes down to is constant self-reflection. Looking inward. And that’s so much harder than it sounds. Trust me. Admitting to your own faults and downfalls and areas where you can improve on yourself. Admitting that you’re not “perfect.” Whatever </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">perfect</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> means. Admitting that you are fallible.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But one thing is for certain – I am not the same person I started out as. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And thank G-d for that. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Who I was: tHE cost of living for others</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Tired-Worker-Sleeping-on-Messy-Work-Desk-by-oleksandrbedenyuk.jpg" alt="Tired Worker Sleeping on Messy Work Desk by oleksandrbedenyuk" title="Tired Worker Sleeping on Messy Work Desk by oleksandrbedenyuk" class="wp-image-235294" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If we are being honest – and I think we always should be – I was a hot mess. I’m not talking about when I was a teenager because we are all kind of messed up as teenagers. I’m talking about my twenties.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Fresh out of varsity, I had both intellectual and academic arrogance, accompanied by a confidence that comes with looking a certain way – something I put a lot of importance into. I lived under the roof of people I didn’t get along with. Wait, that doesn’t quite cover it. I lived under the roof of people who were and are still the cause of so much trauma and confusion in my life. I was manipulated into believing that family came before my own happiness, that looking after them was more important than looking after myself, that putting their needs before my own basic needs, was my duty and that the only way out of their house was through death or marriage.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My anxiety was at an all time high. I lived on caffeine and cigarettes, alcohol on weekends just to shake things up. I was a cliché – a work hard, die hard wannabe lawyer working in an environment designed to make you fail – law clerks, at least when I was a law clerk, weren’t expected to excel. They were expected to be downtrodden and exhausted, and I fit the bill perfectly. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">My </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">sunny personality, raucous laugh, dance on the table, shine bright like a diamond, me against the world</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> attitude either rubbed you the wrong way or intrigued you. But it was all a front. An act. A face I put on to fool the onlookers. Inside I was broken. Plagued by not feeling good enough, feeling like I wasn’t pretty or thin enough, feeling like a failure before I had even really begun. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I set myself up to fail. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It didn’t help that my choice of partners at the time either physically abused me or emotionally abused me – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“have your salad dressing on the side, you don’t want to get fat.”</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was a concoction of emotional abuse and guilt at home, emotional abuse at work, emotional abuse from bad choice partners, self-doubt believing I was fat, that I was ugly, that I wasn’t worthy of happiness. It was a lot. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I buried it all really deep.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I didn’t seek help. I didn’t think I needed it at the time. All I could focus on was getting out, was starting my life away from everyone, was starting over. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I would never admit to that aloud. Ever. Talk against my parents? Never. Admit that Articles were not shaping up to be what I had hoped they would be? Never. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To the world, life was peachy. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But it was a lie. And it took its toll. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Who I was then was a broken person with hopes and dreams, but with no idea of how to make any of them happen. Or belief that any of them could happen.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Who I Am Now: Healing, Growth and Self-Acceptance</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Loving-Young-Couple-in-Countryside-by-Jacob-Lund.jpg" alt="Loving Young Couple in Countryside by Jacob Lund" title="Loving Young Couple in Countryside by Jacob Lund" class="wp-image-235292" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was when I met my husband that my life changed. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">He saved me in so many ways I can’t fully explain. Who I am now has a lot to do with him. But it has also taken a lot of work by myself on myself. And it has been very hard. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So much has happened between my early twenties, my thirties and now my forties. I feel like I have run a gauntlet. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">From career changes to failed pregnancies, to almost dying from COVID, to being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, to my mental health diagnoses. And most importantly to confronting my parents and resorting to “no-contact,” to losing my beloved grandmother, aunt, uncle, and best friend. I have been through a great deal. I have faced and am still facing my traumas, the things I still have nightmares over, the things I have buried deep within me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But I am facing my so-called demons, my triggers, my pain. I’m controlling my anxiety and am on top of my melancholy. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I am constantly self-reflecting, ensuring that I check in with myself on an ongoing basis – because that’s been so important. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For the first time, in a long time, I am putting myself first. My needs first. Not in a self-indulgent way. In a healthy way. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But there’s one thing I have noticed about getting older and that is the feeling that life is fleeting. It really is. A year ago, it was 1998! </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In that realisation comes the understanding that it’s </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">your</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> life. You need to live it for </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Not for anyone else. Do the things that make </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> happy. Not what makes someone else happy. Because waiting until your deathbed before you fulfil the things on your bucket list is not the way to live your life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Living my life for </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">me </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">has meant leaving the legal profession (well not entirely) so that I can write to my heart’s content at </span><a href="https://thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Legal Belletrist</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, starting a new venture collecting and trading authentic (imported directly from Japan) vintage and antique Japanese Kimonos at ManeKi NeKo Private Kimono Collection (Kimono’s currently available at Wizards Vintage in Johannesburg), taking pottery classes, writing poetry, starting a novel, spending time with the friends and family I have left, focusing on my health – both physical and mental, giving my cats the love and attention they deserve, travelling as much as my work and budget will allow and spending as much quality time with the amazing man I married as I can. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It has also meant saying goodbye to the people in my life causing me harm. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s an ongoing journey. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Who I Am Becoming: Owning My Life and My Future</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Kintsugi-Japanese-antique-ceramic-bowl-by-Marco-Montalti-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="Taking a pause in nature by gradyreese from Getty Images Signature" title="Kintsugi Japanese antique ceramic bowl by Marco Montalti from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235291" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I had to go away and really give this one some thought. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Luckily, music is an eternal motivator. While on the treadmill, Linkin Park’s </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Somewhere I Belong”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> played over the speakers and the words just seemed to speak to this very topic – </span></p> <blockquote> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real</span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long</span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Erase all the pain ’til it’s gone)</span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real</span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along</span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Somewhere I belong”</span></i></p> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They’re not my favourite band by a long margin. So, it struck me as odd that these lyrics would mean so much. But they do. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I think that’s who I am becoming – the person who is healed, or who is healing. The person who is able to let go of the pain that was bottled up for so long and finally be at peace. The person who finally feels like her place in the world is where she is happy and safe. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">No drama. No lies. Just peace and being happy in my own skin.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Life is short. It’s unpredictable. And that makes it so very precious. I’ve wasted so much time living my life for others and by others’ rules.</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It’s now my turn.</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It will take work. I know that. I’ll have to constantly check in with myself to ensure I’m being true to who I am while reaching the goals I constantly set for myself. Self-reflection will be key. On an ongoing basis. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Who I am becoming is a work in progress, but I know one thing for sure – I will be authentically me. Weird, loving and looking forward to growing old, grey and hopefully wiser.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Let’s talk about Self-Reflection!</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Taking-a-pause-in-nature-by-gradyreese-from-Getty-Images-Signature.jpg" alt="Taking a pause in nature by gradyreese from Getty Images Signature" title="Taking a pause in nature by gradyreese from Getty Images Signature" class="wp-image-235293" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Practicing self-reflection takes discipline and intentionality. It requires pressing pause on the chaos of life and simply taking the time to think and ponder about your life. Something often easier said than done. But it’s an incredibly valuable practice.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Without self-reflection, we simply go through life without thinking, moving from one thing to the next without making time to evaluate whether things are really working for us. We don’t pause to think. To analyse. The unfortunate result is that we often get stuck. Like I quoted above – we don’t change we just get older. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Throughout this article I have mentioned how important self-reflection is and how important it has been for me to practice it on an ongoing basis. But I haven’t really stopped to explain how one goes about doing it.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Before you begin with your own self-reflection, I want to say this – it’s important to remind yourself that your time in self-reflection is a safe space within yourself. Don’t judge yourself while you explore your inner thoughts, feelings and motives of behaviour. Simply notice what comes up and accept it. Instead of focusing on fears, worries or regrets, try to look for areas of growth and improvement.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How to Self-Reflect in 6 Easy Steps</strong></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Find a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – take a notebook or device to record your reflections.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Begin with a mindful body scan</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What are you feeling right now?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Where do you notice these feelings in your body? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Note your observations.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Identify your inner feelings </p> <p></strong></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What events, thoughts, or situations might be contributing to these feelings?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Are these feelings aligned with your values or external pressures?</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Explore your needs </p> <p></strong></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What do you need most right now (e.g., rest, connection, adventure, achievement)?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Are there unmet needs or boundaries you need to address?</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Consider acting</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – can you take a small step to address your needs or align more closely with your values today? For example:</span></p> <p> </p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you feel stressed, commit to a short relaxation activity.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you feel disconnected, reach out to someone important to you.</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Review your experience </strong></p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p><strong></strong></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">How do you feel now compared to when you started?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What did you learn about yourself?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What can you change to better align yourself with your goals?</span></li> </ul></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Final Thoughts: Coming Home to Who You Really Are</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">If you need support in figuring out how to self-reflect or what it means to self-reflect or even what the benefits of self-reflection are, get in touch with Frieda Levycky at </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Braving Boundaries</a><span style="font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;"> today. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For me, self-reflection has meant getting to know myself better. Learning what really matters to me. What I like and what I can live without. Truly. Self-reflection has meant growth. It has meant coming home to who I really am. And loving her regardless.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that has been priceless.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.reflection.app/blog/self-reflection-101-what-is-self-reflection-why-is-reflection-important" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Reflection</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/self-reflection-importance-benefits-and-strategies-7500858#toc-how-to-practice-self-reflection" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://positivepsychology.com/introspection-self-reflection/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Positive Psychology</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-4.jpg" alt="End of blog post CTA" title="End of blog post CTA image (4)" class="wp-image-235295" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:alicia@thebelletrist.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">alicia@thebelletrist.com</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/who-you-were-who-you-are-and-who-you-are-becoming/">Who You Were, Who You Are and Who You Are Becoming</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/who-you-were-who-you-are-and-who-you-are-becoming/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>My 10-day liver cleanse with Juice Revolution: A journey of self-compassion and transformation</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/my-10-day-liver-cleanse/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/my-10-day-liver-cleanse/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 04 Oct 2024 05:39:49 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mid-Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[clean yourself from inside out]]></category> <category><![CDATA[cleanse]]></category> <category><![CDATA[detox]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gallbladder cleanse]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[healthy eating]]></category> <category><![CDATA[healthy living]]></category> <category><![CDATA[juice revolution]]></category> <category><![CDATA[juicing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[kidney detox]]></category> <category><![CDATA[liver cleanse]]></category> <category><![CDATA[menopause]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mid-life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[middle age]]></category> <category><![CDATA[peri-menopause]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-compassion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[take care of yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[transformation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[your body your life]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6384</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/my-10-day-liver-cleanse/">My 10-day liver cleanse with Juice Revolution: A journey of self-compassion and transformation</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><span style="color: #be9727;"></span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As I mentioned in last month’s newsletter, after finishing the Braving Change Challenge, I felt like I needed an additional boost to regain control of my energy and overall well-being. Despite increasing my exercise routine, I was still feeling sluggish, weighed down by hormonal swings (hello, peri-menopause!) and a bit disconnected from my body. I wanted to feel more in tune with myself and, let’s be honest, I was also eager to get back a bit more control over my figure. That’s when I decided to embark on a 10-day liver cleanse with </span><a href="https://juicerevolution.co.za/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Juice Revolution</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and I’m so glad I did it.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The Cleanse Breakdown</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The 10-day cleanse was structured in a way that felt achievable (even though, I’ll admit, I had a few moments of doubt)! Here’s what the process looked like:</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Days 1 to 3: Clean eating and liver stone softening</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first three days were all about clean eating coupled with regular consumption of apple juice to soften liver stones. This phase eased me into the cleanse, giving my body time to adjust to the lighter food load and preparing it for the more intense detox days ahead.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Liver-detox-cleanse-1-1.png" alt="" title="Liver detox cleanse (1)" class="wp-image-6394" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Days 4 to 6: Juicing </b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These days were filled with delicious juices and soups provided by </span><a href="https://juicerevolution.co.za/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Juice Revolution</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, and I have to say, they were surprisingly tasty! I didn’t feel deprived of food because the juices were rich in nutrients and had such a variety of flavours that kept things interesting. It was during this phase that I really started to notice a shift in how I felt; lighter, clearer and more in tune with my body. By day 5 though, I hit a bit of a wall. The headache I experienced was intense as the toxins were being released from my body. However, I knew this was part of the process and a necessary step in the detox journey.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Something that really kept me engaged during this phase were the educational videos that explained why we were eating certain foods and taking specific supplements. I’m one of those people who needs to understand the “</span><b>why</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">” behind what I’m doing, rather than just following directions because someone said so. It was fascinating to learn how each element played a role in supporting the cleanse and detoxification process. This knowledge made the whole experience feel more purposeful and kept me motivated.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Day 5 and Day 10: Colonics!</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_47 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now, let’s talk about colonics – something that I’ve been doing for nearly two decades. I know, I know, many of my friends are horrified at the mere mention of it, but let me tell you, colonics are a game-changer! Sure, the idea of flushing out your insides might not sound like a day at the spa, but it’s an </span><b>incredibly</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> effective way to support a cleanse. Trust me, we carry around a lot more </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">‘baggage’</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> than we realise, and colonics help you let go – both literally and figuratively! The results? Well, let’s just say it was a liberating experience and I left feeling </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">light as a feather</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (and perhaps a few pounds lighter too).</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you’ve ever wondered whether we’re all full of … well, you know, the answer is yes! </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> But I promise you, once you’ve done a colonic or two, you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_48 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Day 6/7: Fasting</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_49 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ah, the infamous fasting day. I never thought I’d drink neat Epsom salts (let alone a grapefruit and olive oil concoction) but I did – and it worked! To my surprise, the fasting day went way more smoothly than I had anticipated, even though my husband and friends were busy demolishing four pizzas and chicken wings right in front of me! That moment really tested my resolve, but I stayed dedicated to the process and it felt strangely empowering.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Liver-detox-cleanse-3-1.png" alt="" title="Liver detox cleanse (3)" class="wp-image-6396" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_50 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Days 8 to 10: Reintroducing whole foods</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_51 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The final three days were about reintroducing whole foods and, interestingly, adding a kidney cleanse to the mix. It was wonderful to bring back solid food, but I was mindful of how my body was responding to every bite. I felt a newfound appreciation for nourishing my body with clean, wholesome ingredients. And the taste of the </span><a href="https://www.lifeshine.co.za/edible-eden-menu" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Edible Eden </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cottage Pie on Sunday night was just sublime!!</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_52 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>How I felt after the cleanse</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_53 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, let’s talk about the results. It’s safe to say that I feel completely transformed – both physically and mentally. The energy I was missing is back in full force and my brain feels clearer than it has in months. My skin is glowing, my figure has returned to where I want it to be and perhaps the most surprising benefit of all: I didn’t experience the usual hormonal swing as that time of the month approached. That, in itself, is a huge relief – not just for me, but for everyone around me!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What’s more: my eyes are brighter, my skin feels smooth and I generally feel lighter and more at ease in my body. But beyond the physical changes, this cleanse gave me a much-needed reminder of the importance of </span><b>self-compassion</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">, especially as I navigate the realities of middle age.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Liver-detox-cleanse-4-Medium.png" alt="" title="Liver detox cleanse (4) (Medium)" class="wp-image-6397" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_54 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Learning self-compassion during middle age</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_55 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As we age, our bodies change in ways we can’t always control and that can be tough to accept. I’ve spent most of my life with a good figure, so watching these changes unfold has been challenging for me – both physically and emotionally. There’s an underlying fear of losing control over something so central to how we perceive ourselves. But what this cleanse taught me is that, while we may not have control over everything, we do have a say in how we care for our bodies.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m learning to be more compassionate with myself during this transition period. Rather than fighting against these changes, I’m focusing on what I can do to support my body: regular exercise, weight training and eating healthily (and learning what “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">eating healthily</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” really means). These are all things within my control and they make a huge difference in how I feel day-to-day.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_56 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>Why I recommend a liver cleanse</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_57 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist, but from what I’ve learned from experts, taking care of your body from the inside out really does make a difference – especially as we go through the hormonal changes that come with middle age. A liver cleanse like this one isn’t just about losing weight or getting a ‘quick fix’ for feeling sluggish. It’s about resetting, giving your body a chance to detox and allowing it to function at its best. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This cleanse showed me that I can still feel good in my skin, no matter what age I am. It’s given me renewed energy, clearer skin and a sense of pride in what I was able to accomplish over those 10 days.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_58 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h3><b>A HUGE thank you</b></h3></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_59 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I couldn’t have done this without the incredible guidance of </span><a href="https://juicerevolution.co.za/about-juice-revolution/#founder" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Fiona Stander from Juice Revolution</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Her support and the delicious juices and soups she provided made the entire process so much easier and, dare I say it, enjoyable. I’m also grateful to my fellow participants. Sharing our experiences and challenges along the way kept me motivated and inspired. We laughed, supported each other and emerged from this journey feeling stronger.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">To anyone considering a cleanse, I highly recommend it. Not just for the physical benefits but for the mental clarity and self-compassion that comes with it. So, here’s to embracing the changes that come our way and to finding ways to love and care for our bodies through every stage of our lives.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/my-10-day-liver-cleanse/">My 10-day liver cleanse with Juice Revolution: A journey of self-compassion and transformation</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/my-10-day-liver-cleanse/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>