<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Lawyer Life Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/category/lawyer-life/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/lawyer-life/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Mon, 18 Sep 2023 09:59:19 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Lawyer Life Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/lawyer-life/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>The Mid-life Lawyer</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/mid-life-lawyer/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/mid-life-lawyer/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 15 Sep 2023 10:02:32 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[general counsel]]></category> <category><![CDATA[in-house counsel]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inhouse counsel]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawlife]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyerlife]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legallife]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mid-life crisis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mid-life lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[senior lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=5662</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/mid-life-lawyer/">The Mid-life Lawyer</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When you hear the term “mid-life,” what images or thoughts come to mind? Perhaps it’s the clichéd “mid-life crisis” with visions of a middle-aged man who has just started balding – but he’s growing a ponytail anyway – sporting a “beer-belly” sitting at a table with a lackluster look on his face, scrolling through an online car website searching for a convertible. Something fast and racy. Something flashy – so, probably red. Something to make him feel young again. Or perhaps it’s something else?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mid-life might be better understood as a phase marked by escalating stress levels, heightened demands on your time, increased responsibilities that include caring for ageing parents and young children, managing debt, confronting the realities of ageing and dealing with more aches and pains while feeling increasingly fatigued. In essence, mid-life is a stage where you’re inundated from all directions, and self-care seems like a distant memory, with your weekly “cheat meal” becoming the week’s highlight. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now add being a lawyer into the mix which comes with its own set of stresses and strains: managing a team, developing your practice, adapting to changes in the legal climate, jostling partners and executives, meeting billing targets and getting to grips with legal tech in order to stay up to date and relevant! And there you have it: the “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mid-Life Lawyer</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s no wonder that there are days when you want to skip town, hop on a plane and head for blue oceans where you can drink </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=if+you+like+pina+colada&sca_esv=563733001&biw=1536&bih=715&tbm=vid&sxsrf=AB5stBjr6QuOoGlnsJDbylQ-6iQGAECk3Q%3A1694182553096&ei=mSz7ZIq2Bbazi-gPpMCRoAs&oq=if+you+like+&gs_lp=Eg1nd3Mtd2l6LXZpZGVvIgxpZiB5b3UgbGlrZSAqAggAMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABEiWI1AAWMMTcAB4AJABAZgB3QOgAfUgqgEHMi01LjMuNLgBAcgBAPgBAcICBxAAGIoFGEPCAgsQABiABBixAxiDAcICCxAAGIoFGLEDGIMBwgIIEAAYigUYkQLCAggQABiABBixA4gGAQ&sclient=gws-wiz-video#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:1770cbe5,vid:TazHNpt6OTo,st:0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Pina Coladas</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and pretend you’re on Spring break.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">All in an effort to feel like you still matter.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As if that was ever in question. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As if, in some way, mid-life has erased our fun times. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As if, somehow, we have given away our youth.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s not surprising that you find yourself experiencing a somewhat </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=barbie+trailer+2023&sca_esv=563733001&biw=1536&bih=715&tbm=vid&sxsrf=AB5stBg3tJWltB-enE3bvpNnCqDEyZFXXw%3A1694182518976&ei=diz7ZNqRO-eMi-gPt7iAqA4&oq=barbie+trailer&gs_lp=Eg1nd3Mtd2l6LXZpZGVvIg5iYXJiaWUgdHJhaWxlcioCCAEyCBAAGIoFGJECMggQABiKBRiRAjIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAESLAkUO4DWJcLcAB4AJABApgB3QugAdkvqgELMy0xLjYtMS4zLjG4AQHIAQD4AQHCAgsQABiKBRixAxiRAogGAQ&sclient=gws-wiz-video#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:0a31a67a,vid:Kb7jYOYXiVc,st:0" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Barbie</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">-like existential crisis, asking yourself:</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/BB-Blog-images-Mid-life-lawyer-1.jpg" alt="" title="BB - Blog images - Mid life lawyer (1)" class="wp-image-5667" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Is this it? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Who am I? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What have I done with my life? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do I even like my job?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Where am I going? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">What is life all about? </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">I need to change. Everything. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">I need help. And quickly!</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sound familiar?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">At this point, you might have contemplated hitting life’s reset button, if one existed. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But pause for a moment and take a deep breath. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Surprisingly, there isn’t much that differentiates “mid-life” from the stereotypical “mid-life crisis.” Psychologists worldwide acknowledge that we all experience “crises” at various stages in our lives. These crises serve as catalysts for essential changes when aspects of our lives no longer align with our internal compass.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Is mid-life really that bad?</strong></h2> <p> </p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hey Doc, am I gonna live? </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As a mid-life lawyer you will understand that you just have more going on in your life – you have reached a stage in both life and in your career where you have moved through the ranks, you are most likely quite established by now and will – again most likely – have a family, be in a long-term relationship or confidently single. You have more work, more responsibilities both at the office and at home. So much so that you feel like you should be cloned. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s no wonder you ask yourself “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">is this it?”. </span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It makes perfect sense that at some point in your life and in your legal career, you are going to get to a point where you are challenged. Where you start to have questions rattling around in your brain – </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">do I still want to be a lawyer? Or do I just want to change my focus area? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">And those are good things because it means you are engaging, you are thinking, you are assessing the things that work for you and those that don’t. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It doesn’t mean that you are going to kick in your legal career bucket. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Instead, at this juncture at least, it’s perfectly acceptable if you need to take a moment to look around yourself. If you need to ask yourself some pertinent questions like </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">do I want to carry on with my legal caree</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">r? Or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do I just need to learn a new thing or two? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">It sometimes takes putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations so that we can address what’s going on around us. And sometimes all we need to do is acknowledge our nagging feelings of “lost youth” and address them head on. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dealing with your mid-life means recognising that you have a very full life, understanding what your priorities are and acknowledging that mid-life comes with many challenges. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mid-life </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">isn’t</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> about falling prey to overwhelm, but about making the changes necessary for you to live a happy, fulfilled life. It </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">is</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> about taking our mid-life by the reigns and riding off into the sunset.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>The mid-life lawyer event</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/BB-Blog-images-Mid-life-lawyer.jpg" alt="" title="BB - Blog images - Mid life lawyer" class="wp-image-5668" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The </span><b>“The Mid-life Lawyer” event </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">is for all the lawyers out there who find themselves questioning their relevance, their direction, their priorities, and their goals. It’s for all the lawyers who are looking for more balance in the second half of their careers without feeling like they are </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">giving up </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">their careers. It’s for all those lawyers who have questions but no answers – yet. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The events will be held in </span><b>Cape Town</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> on </span><b>Thursday 21</b><b>st</b><b> September</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and in </span><b>Johannesburg</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> on </span><b>Thursday</b> <b>28</b><b>th</b><b> September</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hosted by Frieda Levyky of Braving Boundaries and Rob Green, the CEO of GRM, it’s sure to be interesting, invoking thought and reflection whilst also being fun. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The event it all about – </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">reassessing how you are living your life and where you are focusing the majority of your time;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">understanding why work has such a tight grip over you;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">growing and developing your practice and adapting to the new legal world in which we find ourselves;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">reassessing your relationship with work;</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">helping you remember why you became a lawyer in the first place, and</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">acknowledging what is important in your life and whether or not that is being truly honoured. </span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a lot to take in but Frieda and Rob promise you will leave the event with a lot to think about – in only the best kind of way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If this article has resonated with you and your legal career or perhaps you’re a little at odds with your mid-life, then this event is for you! </span></p> <p><strong>To book tickets to the event, click <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.howler.co.za/events/the-mid-life-lawyer-1801?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=join_us_for_the_mid_life_lawyer_event&utm_term=2023-08-22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a></span> for Cape Town and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.howler.co.za/events/the-midlife-lawyer-3c60?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=join_us_for_the_mid_life_lawyer_event&utm_term=2023-08-22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a></span> for Joburg.</strong></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/?page_id=5643"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1200" height="628" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/BB-Facebook-Ad-Graphics-HORIZONTAL.png" alt="" title="BB - Facebook Ad Graphics - HORIZONTAL" class="wp-image-5666" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/mid-life-lawyer/">The Mid-life Lawyer</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/mid-life-lawyer/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Your own worst enemy is YOU!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 21 Jan 2023 18:31:14 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life after Law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Work life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[alice in wonderland]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[believe in yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business owner]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[determination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[direction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dreams]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[jabberwocky]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[live your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love your life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-belief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/the-festive-seasons-unexpected-delights-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Building self-belief: 5 Ways to quieten the negative thoughts that hold you back from living to your fullest potential.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/">Your own worst enemy is YOU!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></h5> <p>When I was a child, I was fearless.</p> <p>I believed I could do anything I set my mind to – and I had big dreams. Bless little me. I wanted to climb mountains, go to the Moon, swim with Mermaids, and fly a plane to Antarctica.</p> <p>I may have been influenced by my favourite novels of all time – Alice in Wonderland and Through the looking glass. I have read both dozens of times (probably more, but who’s counting)?</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It was Alice’s line –</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><em>“Sometimes I believe in as many as </em><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=six+impossible+things+before+breakfast+alice+in+wonderland&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&biw=1536&bih=722&tbm=vid&sxsrf=AJOqlzUesyOonKcblO8Rn3OHgM9lP3jlXQ%3A1674216117463&ei=tYLKY43vG6CUhbIPuv2M0Ag&oq=6+impossible+things+before+breakfast&gs_lcp=Cg1nd3Mtd2l6LXZpZGVvEAEYATIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzoFCAAQkQI6CAgAEIAEELEDOgUIABCABDoLCAAQgAQQsQMQgwE6BAgAEEM6BwgAELEDEEM6BwgAEIAEEAo6CAgAEBYQHhAPOggIABAWEB4QClAAWI8mYKw4aABwAHgCgAGYA4gB206SAQgyLTI4LjcuMZgBAKABAcABAQ&sclient=gws-wiz-video#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:d332b5a3,vid:81qfjNLAo5c"><em>six impossible things before breakfast</em></a><em>.”</em></p> <p>That had done me in.</p> <p><em>6 impossible things for breakfast she says? Why – I could gobble that all in one mouthful. I can do 10 impossible things before breakfast”</em>! Ha Alice. Take that!</p> <p>Little did I know how much that fearless attitude affected those around me. How could I know? A child can never truly see how amazing they are. They are too caught up in their own world and “becoming” that they cannot see who they are through other’s eyes.</p> <p>Some of us still can’t.</p> <p>But it was my life-long friend who, on my 21<sup>st</sup> Birthday got up and gave a speech. She said something to me that night that has stuck with me – through better or worse – ever since. She said <em>“Fishy*, you <u>will</u> rule the world one day. I believe in you”. </em></p> <p><em>*a caveat here – my nickname was Fishy because my maiden name was Fisher. Full disclosure. </em></p> <p>Since I had known this friend, let’s call her my “BFFE”, from the day I was fresh from the oven – I figured she had a pretty good insight into my potential. Someone who had known me since birth (still does) can probably see something I could not.</p> <p>And for a while, I believed her.</p> <p>I wasn’t afraid of anything – dance on a table? Sure. Jump out of a plane? Absolutely (who’s packing my parachute?). Swim in shark infested waters – yeah (ok, at the time I wasn’t really aware there were sharks around but nevertheless), let’s go!</p> <p>Fearless.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/alice.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="alice in wonderland" class="wp-image-5149" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>And then suddenly one day, I grew up (unwillingly).</p> <p>That fearlessness and self-belief had dissipated. Like cotton candy in the wind. The moment I graduated with my second degree and my life loomed before me, I got an inkling of reality and responsibility and how hard it would truly be to take over the world. Lady Gaga had stolen my look and I didn’t even have one minion, let alone dozens.</p> <p>But I still read Alice on an annual basis and I still believed I could do 6 impossible things before breakfast. So on to legal articles I went. And then suddenly 6 individual impossible things turned into 1 enormous impossible thing. A feeling I am betting most article clerks/trainees will share.</p> <p>And that 1 enormous impossible thing grew. Like a little snowball that rolls down a hill and accumulates more and more snow so that by the time it lands at your feet it is a ginormous sphere almost ready to take on its own climate – the <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=big+bang+theory+intro&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&sxsrf=AJOqlzUTe4w-KtizOon-omKXI9zdAntkew:1674216115123&source=lnms&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiYscaGjdb8AhWORsAKHfS4AkAQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1536&bih=722&dpr=1.25#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f089c26d,vid:6CawmYcysAQ">“big-bang theory”</a> almost starting again…. A hot dense state and everything.</p> <p>And like with most things in life, <strong><em>the more you tell yourself, you can’t, the less you actually can. </em></strong></p> <p>A once fearless girl who had believed she could take over the world, felt “less than”, unequal to the task and pretty scared. Of just about everything, but most significantly – failing. I started saying to myself – “Don’t do that, it wont work” and “You are such a failure” and “Why bother trying, you will only fail”.</p> <p>It was the last one that really got me into some pretty dark, dank places in my life.</p> <p>But almost like Samara from the movie <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=the+ring+girl+out+of+well&rlz=1C1AVFC_enZA990ZA990&sxsrf=AJOqlzU3MXShn_UT_B6189vDqvRyRE4m7Q%3A1674216575518&ei=f4TKY6umH4q4gQbAiZqYAg&ved=0ahUKEwjr4Yrijtb8AhUKXMAKHcCEBiMQ4dUDCA8&uact=5&oq=the+ring+girl+out+of+well&gs_lcp=Cgxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAQAzIGCAAQCBAeMgYIABAIEB4yBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzIFCAAQhgMyBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzoKCAAQRxDWBBCwA0oECEEYAEoECEYYAFDFA1iVE2DpGGgBcAF4AIABiAOIAYcVkgEFMi04LjKYAQCgAQHIAQjAAQE&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f5538344,vid:IWj_Q-WinUc">The Ring, crawling out of the well</a>, I somehow managed to pull myself out of my darkest place.</p> <p>It wasn’t pretty, resembled a horror movie and I really needed to wash my hair!</p> <p>But I got out.</p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/adult-anxiety.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="adult anxiety" class="wp-image-5150" /></span> </div><div id="flicks" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>BUILDING YOUR OWN CASTLE</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>Whoever told you starting your own business – whatever you may be doing – was easy, had clearly not done it themselves.</p> <p>It takes guts, it takes self-belief and it takes someone who doesn’t mind listening to Billy Ocean on a daily basis – because <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S89K49BeBU">“When the going gets tough. The tough get going”, </a></p> <p>The lyrics becoming almost like a daily mantra –</p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>“I got something to say</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I’m gonna put this dream in motion</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I Never let nothing stand in my way</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>When the going gets tough</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>The tough get going</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I’m gonna get myself ‘cross the river</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>That’s the price I’m willing to pay</em></span></p> <p><span style="color: #c69229;"><em>I’m gonna make you stand and deliver….”</em></span></p> <p>And every day, especially when you are starting from scratch, takes having confidence in yourself and in what you can achieve. It takes getting up after being knocked down. It takes looking at situations with new eyes and a new perspective. And more than anything, it takes getting out of your own way.</p> <p>Because you have probably had more than one person say to you <span style="color: #c69229;">“</span><em><span style="color: #c69229;">you are your own worst enemy”</span>. </em>I know I have.</p> <p>And so my own version of Alicia in Wonderland continued.</p> <p>I began The Legal Belletrist at the start of 2020, possibly the worst time in my own personal timeline to start a new business. Or so the naysayers said. But I did. And here I find myself doing the very thing I love the most – talking about me. No that’s not right, I meant – writing. That’s it, writing. For a living!</p> <p>I never had this as part of my dreams as a child. I don’t even think I – with the biggest imagination and biggest dreams – could’ve foreseen this incredible turn of events.</p> <p>And yet, I’m doing it.</p> <p>Taking over the world, one article/blog/ (and one day) book at a time.</p> <p>Just like my BFFE said I would.</p> <p>But that doesn’t mean that on my first working day of 2023 I didn’t wake up in a cold sweat, freaked out and worried I wouldn’t be able to write anymore. That I wouldn’t be able to write anything coherent or meaningful. In fact, I am thinking that as I type.</p> <p>I was scared that I would disappoint a client or all my client’s. I was worried that the very thing I loved would disappear. That I would fail. That I would lose my business, my livelihood. Or that someone else would be able to do what I do, only better – Billy Eilish standing in the wings ready to take on <em>my</em> leading role. Someone else stealing my look. Yet again.</p> <p><em>Turns out that even in your own business doing your own thing, away from all the office politics and toxicity, you still have your own Jabberwocky to slay. </em></p> <p>And the most unexpected one are your own negative thoughts – they can be the hardest. The thing is, all this negative noise is good for is keeping you in your status quo, stuck in the mud and deep down your own dark well, like Samara (and no-one needs that bad-hair day). </p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/change-your-mindset.jpg" alt="6 ways to create a harmonious work environment" title="change your mindset" class="wp-image-5151" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div id="lessons" class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>5 ways to slay your inner jabberwocky</strong></h2> <p>Now anyone that has read Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” knows that it is a playful, whimsical poem that makes little sense, but is at the same time, beautifully bewildering and fun.</p> <p>The same does not however go for the creature itself – which is a rather scary, horrific creature that is threatening to destroy Underland. And the Jabberwocky – which in your particular circumstance and the villain in <em>this</em> story – has got to go!</p> <p>So how do we go about slaying it?</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><em>Take a moment </em></strong>– when you hear yourself talking badly about YOU, stop for a minute and realise what is happening. Realise that this is just your anxiety or an anxious moment that is taking hold of you. The thoughts are irrational, nonsensical and can threaten your very success and affect self-esteem. Realise that you are in a type of fight or flight (or in my case freeze) scenario that does not serve you right now. And then take a deep breath. In and out. And repeat. Then – and this is important – stick up for yourself, as you would do for a good friend. Tell your inner voice – No. That’s not true. It’s irrational. Because you deserve protection from your inner Jabberwocky sometimes too. Remember that.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><em>Identify exactly what you are feeling</em></strong> – it’s very easy to feel negative about something, to feel like a failure before you have even tried. But understanding what triggered that feeling in the first place is key to slaying your inner Jabberwocky. Why do you feel this way? What was the precursor, what was the trigger? Did you see someone post something on the socials about a moment of success and feel envious, pressure, or subconsciously wonder how they did it? It’s a healing process to genuinely think about how your thoughts can affect your emotions. An effective way to do this is to write it all down – what you were thinking and how it made you feel. That way you can start to unpack any underlying emotions that need to be addressed. Think of this as starting a journal to help YOU. Not only will this create self-awareness, but it will also help you truly identify your inner thoughts and feelings.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong><em style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">Replace negativity with positivity </em></strong><span style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.06em;">– sure, it’ easier said than done. It’s hard to be positive all the time. But it’s time to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. It sounds so simplistic – like “sure why didn’t I think of that”? But the truth is, we often don’t. We don’t remember what we have already achieved or what we have already overcome. We forget our accomplishments so easily. I’m not even sure why this is the case. But it always seems like it’s easier to believe the negative over the positive. So, changing that is key. Every time you think to yourself “I will never succeed” or “I’m a failure”, remind yourself of everything you have already done, everything you have already achieved. And the more you think about those positive things the less you will focus on the negative Nancy in your own head. Your inner Jabberwocky is not who you should be listening to. It should be your inner Alice – remembering the 6 impossible things she did before breakfast!</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><em><strong>Take it easy on yourself</strong> – </em>living in such a fast-paced society, everything feels like it should have happened yesterday. You should already be listed on the stock exchange after just starting your start-up, right? You should already be listed on the Forbes Top 50 most successful people list, because you published one opinion article and have changed the world. At 40 you should already be a director of a global Law Firm, right? By 35 you should already have 2 kids – a perfect pigeon pair. How lovely. What nonsense! There is no time limit here. There is no age we should be doing anything by. It’s all according to our own timelines. So, take it easy on yourself. Instead, take a moment and celebrate what you have achieved and look forward to what comes next. Stop measuring yourself against everyone else. We are all on our own journeys.</p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><em><strong>Focus</strong> – </em>something everyone who has ever run their own department or own business will tell you is key. Having focus. It is all too easy to get bogged down by all the little “to-do’s”, the accumulating unread emails in your inbox, the constant sales pitches or touch bases. It is amazingly easy to get overwhelmed. It can feel like you haven’t done enough – there is still more you should be doing. Again, overwhelm. It happens. But this feeling of overwhelm can cause you to lose focus on what your end-goal is. What you want to achieve. And when this happens, it can feel like your dreams are falling by the wayside. So, don’t let that happen. Keep laser focused on what you want out of your work, your livelihood. What is important to you. If it helps, write down what you want to achieve and stick it on your wall – like a daily reminder of why you started whatever it is you started in the first place.<span style="color: #008000;"><b><i></i></b></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1440" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/believe-in-yourself.jpg" alt="" title="believe in yourself" class="wp-image-5152" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>The take-away from this article simply is – everything is achievable if you look at the facts that support and drive your ambition and desires to work for and on yourself.</p> <p>Less listening to the inner Jabberwocky. More listening to your inner Alice! Instead of your own worst enemy, become your own best friend and most fervid supporter.</p> <p>Believing in YOU is the absolute best thing you can do for your self-esteem, confidence and self-belief.</p> <p><strong><em>It’s time to become fearless again. It’s time to tackle 6 impossible things before breakfast!</em></strong></p> <p>Because you can….</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p>About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit<span> </span><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: [email protected] </strong></p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/">Your own worst enemy is YOU!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/your-own-worst-enemy-is-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>I’m a grown up! – And still being bullied….</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-bullying/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-bullying/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 22 Jun 2021 09:48:54 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Comfort over coffee]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bullied adults]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[cold shoulder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[cyber bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[cyber-bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[human resources]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ignoring]]></category> <category><![CDATA[institutional bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[intimidation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior associate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health advocate]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ostracism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ostracizm]]></category> <category><![CDATA[partner]]></category> <category><![CDATA[passive aggressive]]></category> <category><![CDATA[passive-aggressive]]></category> <category><![CDATA[professional coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[retaliation]]></category> <category><![CDATA[social exclusion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sticks and stones]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trust in yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unjustified criticism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[verbal bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[words will never hurt me]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bullying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace ostracism]]></category> <category><![CDATA[you matter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2993</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Bullying is not OK. In any situation. No matter the environment. Or your age. And it has no place in a business that wants to be successful.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-bullying/">I’m a grown up! – And still being bullied….</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p><em>Linked article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/">Workplace Ostracism: Tackling the silent office bully</a></em></p> <p>When I think back to my school days, I recall kids taunting other kids because they had braces or freckles or perhaps their skirts were too long. But I recall, quite traumatically, how I was teased. Relentlessly. All because I wore a hearing-aid in one ear.</p> <p>Kids thought that meant I had a mental disorder. That I was in some way mentally slower than them. Not that I couldn’t hear. It was cruel. I wasn’t invited to play with others, I was ostracized and made to feel ashamed. Like there was something inherently wrong with me. So much so that I refused to wear my hearing-aid going into High School, rather relying on lip reading.</p> <p><em>Something I still do to this day. </em>The coping mechanism just stuck with me.</p> <p>But that was on the playground. And I had hoped it would stay there.</p> <p>But it didn’t. It just happened differently as I got older.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Bullied adults</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3003"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Before adults think that they are immune to being bullied and that bullying is simply <em>“part of being a child”</em>, think again. Because it extends to the workplace too.</p> <p>According to a 2017 survey by the <a href="https://www.uwsp.edu/conted/Documents/FOCUS/C5 and E2 See handout_workplace bullying stats.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Workplace Bullying Institute</a>, 38% of Americans are bullied or witness bullying, 61% of Americans are aware of abusive conduct in the workplace and 60.4 million Americans are affected by it.</p> <p>And those are staggering numbers.</p> <p>According to <a href="https://www.acas.org.uk/if-youre-treated-unfairly-at-work/being-bullied" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">ACAS</a> in the UK, workplace bullying is behaviour from a person or group of people that is unwanted and makes you feel uncomfortable. It is harmful, often targeted behaviour that may be spiteful, offensive, mocking, intimidating or ostracizing. It can also be in the form of verbal, physical, social or psychological abuse.</p> <p>At a high level, the effects of bullying can be anxiety, depression, low self-worth, feeling intimidated, having low morale, feeling hopeless and stressed out. In addition, bullying can affect the business: resulting in poor work performance, high levels of sick leave, valuable employees leaving the business, and a hostile environment that can trickle down the ranks of the workplace becoming obvious to customers and business associates alike. The result? A detrimental impact to their brand and business reputation.</p> <p>But it extends beyond that too.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The wider implications of bullying</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace2-Small.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3012"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>In an article titled <a href="https://www.thehrdirector.com/features/health-and-wellbeing/bullying-is-systemic-in-the-workplace-despite-working-from-home/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Bullying is systemic, even working from home</a>, bullying in the workplace is identified as a systemic problem related to <strong><em>the actions and reactions of an organisation</em></strong> (which is often deep rooted in the core of a business). It also affects the individuals involved, as well as all those who witness the behaviour – the so-called “bystanders”.</p> <p>Whilst bystanders may be willing to actively help and support the target, it is more often than not very difficult for them to stand up against the bully. Often they themselves fear retaliation from the bully, may fear losing their own job or may believe that they do not have enough “organisational authority” to intervene.</p> <p>In some other instances, the bystander might either ignore the bullying or frame it as “normal behaviour”, especially when it is recurrent within the organisation without consequences or without the perpetrator being held accountable.</p> <p>Importantly, the organisation’s response or lack of response to bullying in the workplace is critical.<strong><em> Where there is no accountability for bullying in an organisation, it can quickly become an entrenched problem.</em></strong> And when this happens, there are ramifications not only for the employees but the business’s bottom line – <em>unhappy staff are not productive staff.</em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Cyber-Bullying</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3008"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>With COVID (and the resulting lockdown), there is an increase in remote working blurring the lines between work and home life. As a result, digital bullying and discrimination (aka cyber bullying) has become a major challenge. Workplace bullying is now happening from afar – leaving no visible scars, going unreported and, as a result, not showing up in statistics.</p> <p>Even worse is the fact that bullies can reach their victims at all times of the day due to the increased use of and reliance on technology to communicate. Seemingly expecting employees to now be available 24/7.</p> <p>According to the article <a href="https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/employment-law-blog/cyber-bullying-in-the-workplace-during-remote-working" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Cyber bullying in the workplace during remote working</a>, examples of cyber bullying include –</p> <p><em>“frequent interruptions during virtual meetings, unkind emails and repeated and excessive emails from managers. Some employees may “hide behind their screens” and not uphold the usual standards expected of them”.</em></p> <p>The situation of workplace bullying is at an all-time high and is a dire situation that needs to be addressed. Concerning is the fact that with most incidents going unreported, the only solution for some victims is to simply leave their jobs.</p> <p>But it is important to note that whether an employee feels excluded or otherwise bullied by colleagues, it does not matter whether that behaviour takes place electronically or in person.</p> <p>The emotional turmoil to the victim and risk to the business remains the same.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><span style="color:#c69229" class="has-inline-color"><strong><em>Bullying –</em> <em>This </em></strong></span><em><strong>is not a “sticks and stones” situation</strong></em></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace8.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3011"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Whilst we already know that workplace bullying can take many forms including verbal abuse, offensive behaviours, unjustified criticism, singling someone out for the wrong reasons, excluding employees, or embarrassing or humiliating them. There are others too.</p> <p>Let’s unpack this a little –</p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Verbal bullying</strong> – this could include mockery, humiliation, jokes at another’s expense, gossip, or other spoken abuse like <em>calling someone worthless or insinuating that they are not worth their pay, even telling them to go back to law school just because they disagreed with the decision of the CEO (</em>happened to me);</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Intimidation </strong>– this could include threats, work sabotage and interference, stealing or taking credit for ideas; spying, or other invasions of privacy. Anything to make you feel “small” and insignificant;</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Social exclusion in the workplace</strong> like cold-shouldering or ostracizing (something we discussed in our article <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-ostracism-addressing-the-intangible-office-bully/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Workplace Ostracism: Tackling The Silent Office Bully</a>) can leave you feeling like you are not liked, trusted or respected by your colleagues. And this affects your confidence, taking an emotional toll on you and how you see yourself fitting within an organization,</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Passive aggressive behaviour</strong> – when a colleague or manager harbours negative feelings towards you but expresses them indirectly. In other words, <em>they don’t say what they mean</em>. They may be angry, jealous, or upset, but they mask their emotions through <em>indirect hostility</em>. And this can make you feel confused. Bewildered even. Almost like you are going insane because the “bully” hasn’t actually said what they mean – it’s all done through intonation! <em>Did they say what they mean or do I need to read between the lines?</em></p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Unjustified criticism</strong> – this could include wrongful blame, harsh and undue criticism without a reason as to why;</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Unwarranted retaliation</strong> – sometimes just talking about the bullying can lead to accusations of lying, further exclusion, refused promotions, or being excluded from important work meetings or emails, and</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Institutional bullying</strong> – this is when a workplace accepts, allows, and even encourages bullying to take place. This bullying might include <em>unrealistic performance goals, expected and unrealistic overtime, or singling out those who can’t keep up</em> <em>(not worth their salaries)</em> –<strong><em>But how do you *really* know if you are being bullied?</em></strong></p> </div> </div> <p></p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But how do you *really* know if you are being bullied?</em></strong></h2> <p>Again, this is not a <em>“sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me</em>” situation.</p> <p>When made to feel like a social pariah, you start to wonder whether being bullied is <em>your own fault</em>. Whether you deserve it. Whether you imagined it. Especially when the bullying has been consistent and subtle over a sustained period. You might start to doubt your own sanity or convince yourself that the behaviour is actually OK. That it is warranted.</p> <p>Maybe you are told to <em>“grow thicker skin”</em> that these actions are entirely normal and that <em>“you are too sensitive”</em> (again, this happened to me). Continuous doubt creeps in.</p> <p><em>Is it actually you? Your fault? </em>The answer to that is simple:<em> <strong>NO!</strong></em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong><span style="color:#c69229" class="has-inline-color">Here are some examples of actions that could amount to bullying:</span></strong></em></h2> <p>1. You may become completely ostracized. Co-workers might become quiet or leave the room when you walk in or they might simply ignore you</p> <p>2. You might be intentionally left out of office culture, such as chitchat, parties, or team lunches</p> <p>3. Your supervisor or manager might check on you very often or ask you to meet multiple times a week without a clear reason as to why</p> <p>4. You may be asked to do new tasks or tasks outside your typical duties or outside your skill set without training or help (even when you request it)</p> <p>5. It may seem like your work is frequently monitored, to the point where you begin to doubt yourself and start to experience difficulty when trying to undertake your regular tasks</p> <p>6. You might be asked to do difficult or seemingly pointless tasks and be ridiculed or criticised when you can’t get them done</p> <p>7. You may notice a pattern of your documents, files, other work-related items, or personal belongings going missing</p> <p>8. You may be ridiculed, told you cannot handle your work, need more training but then not told why</p> <p>9. You could be purposely misled about work duties, like incorrect deadlines or unclear directions</p> <p>10. There could be continued denial of requests for time off without an appropriate or valid reason why</p> <p>11. You could experience threats to your personal standing – for example, nasty comments about your physical appearance or personality</p> <p>12. You could also be told not to bill working hours, so that someone more senior than you can take the rewards</p> <p>13. You could be the victim of targeted practical jokes.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>These incidents may seem random at first. But if they continue, you may worry something you did caused them and fear you will be fired or demoted. Thinking about work, even on your time off, may cause anxiety, fear and stress. Affecting your health physically, emotionally and mentally.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Bullying in the legal profession</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace6.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3009"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Unfortunately, the legal profession is not immune to bullying.</p> <p>In the article <a href="https://www.lawsociety.ie/gazette/in-depth/bullying-in-the-workplace/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Make it stop</a> by the Law Society Gazette in Ireland, the following was set out –</p> <p><em>“research has shown that legal professionals who generate high profits for firms are sometimes tolerated, despite their bullying behaviour, displaying immunity from firms’ anti-bullying policies. This feeds in, significantly, to organisational culture and is noticed and felt by employees at all levels in the workplace”.</em></p> <p>In fact, the <a href="https://www.ibanet.org/article/09C3DA0E-723F-4E21-9A7E-AA0DFF1FB627" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">International Bar Association (IBA)</a> has published the initial results of a global evaluation (the “<strong>survey</strong>”) into the wellbeing of the legal profession. This survey undertaken from July 2020–December 2020, garnered responses from more than three thousand individuals and over 80 legal organisations, including bar associations, law societies, in-house legal departments and law firms.</p> <p>The survey confirmed that lawyer wellbeing is a cause for global concern –</p> <p><em>“The wellbeing index scores gathered from the survey data (based on the World Health Organisation’s WHO-5 indexing methodology) demonstrate that lawyers’ levels of wellbeing are below the global average in every regional forum. Although they may differ in manifestation, no one jurisdiction has a monopoly on these issues</em></p> <p><em>Stigma is a major problem: 41 per cent of respondents said that they could not discuss wellbeing issues with their employer without worrying that it would damage their career or livelihoods</em></p> <p><em>Awareness about local and international wellbeing support and services available is low, and, in many jurisdictions, wellbeing support or services do not currently exist: 22 per cent of respondents said that no wellbeing help, guidance or support was in place in their jurisdiction</em></p> <p><em>A large disparity between the number of institutions that say they have wellbeing initiatives in place (73 per cent), and the extent to which those in managerial positions are offered any sort of wellbeing training (16 per cent).</em></p> <p><em>Findings show that experiences of bullying are widespread in the legal profession, with half of the women and a third of men reporting experiences of bullying victimisation. In 57% of cases, the bullying episodes were not reported by the targets”.</em></p> <p>There is clearly (and still) a crisis in terms of mental wellbeing in the legal community. Globally.</p> <p>One surprising finding from the <a href="https://www.ibanet.org/article/09C3DA0E-723F-4E21-9A7E-AA0DFF1FB627" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">IBA survey</a> however, is the fact that the majority of legal participants in the survey have found healthy coping strategies (compared to previous years), including meditation, yoga and a healthy diet, as opposed to the use of alcohol or recreational drugs as a means of coping.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>So what is the solution to workplace bullying?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3010"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Bullying can have significant and serious effects on physical, emotional and mental health. So, whilst leaving your job or changing departments could end the bullying, this isn’t always possible. Or the correct solution. Because the actual impact of being bullied can last long after it has stopped.</p> <p>Unfortunately, there is not a one-size-fits-all approach here. Often each individual may require their own set of coping mechanisms and remedial actions.</p> <p>BUT the following can be considered as starting points (at least) –</p> <p>1. <strong>Try your best not to react emotionally</strong> – bullies take pleasure in emotionally manipulating their victims. Try responding instead. Responding is different to reacting. When you respond you have prepared for the outcome in advance. So, begin with the end in mind. What outcomes would you like to see?</p> <p>2. <strong>Evaluate the situation objectively</strong> – properly evaluate the situation objectively to see if the situation is actually bullying (remember proper constructive criticism is not bullying)</p> <p>3. <strong>Know your workplace policies</strong> – Be aware of your rights and your workplace bullying policy. Familiarise yourself with the reporting procedure and follow it if needed</p> <p>4. <strong>Know your legal rights</strong> – Do your own research. Learn about inappropriate behavior and any <a href="https://www.werksmans.com/legal-updates-and-opinions/workplace-bullying-remedies-and-recourse-in-south-african-law/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">legislation</a> that may be of assistance. The more you know, the better your chances of successfully dealing with the situation are</p> <p>5. <strong>Document your situation thoroughly –</strong> Start collecting as much evidence as you can. This includes keeping a dairy of events to help paint a clear picture of what’s been happening. If you need to recall particular events, having a reliable record will add credibility to your claim of bullying. If you have one and they are approachable (and presuming they are not the bully), go and talk to your HR manager</p> <p>6. <strong>Seek help or guidance</strong> – talk to someone who you can trust. Don’t ignore what has happened or is happening. If you are struggling to cope or don’t know where to start, contact <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Braving Boundaries</a> who will be able to not only support you as you go through this process but can also provide you with actionable targets and goals that can help you deal with and get over being bullied</p> <p>7. <strong>Look after yourself</strong> – maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle outside of work to help you cope with the stress you are experiencing at work. Work out, get a good night’s sleep and eat a healthy diet</p> <p>8. <strong>Know your limits</strong> – if the situation cannot be resolved, consider your options for leaving. Don’t expect to change the bully overnight. Real behaviour change is difficult and it takes time. You have no control over the person’s willingness to accept that they have a problem and to work on it. You can only do your best to manage the situation. In the worst-case scenario you may decide to leave your job or be prepared for a long hard fight with the person bullying you</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>What is the takeaway?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/bullying-in-the-workplace3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3005"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Bullying is not OK. In any situation. No matter the environment. Or your age. And it has no place in a business that wants to be successful.</p> <p>Whilst many companies claim to have a zero-tolerance policy, bullying can sometimes be hard to recognise or prove. It therefore makes it difficult for managers or HR departments to take action.</p> <p>Other companies may not have any policies about bullying in place at all.</p> <p>We are of the firm belief that all workplaces should have a policy on bullying explaining how it should be handled. If your organisation needs guidance or assistance on how to develop these policies, <a href="https://www.coachingadvocates.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Coaching Advocates</a>, a practice dedicated to helping <em>modernise the way law firms and corporates work</em>, may be the perfect place to start.</p> <p>Taking steps to prevent workplace bullying can benefit organisations and the health of their employees. If you have been bullied or are being bullied, know you can safely take steps to combat the bullying without confronting the perpetrator.</p> <p><em>And always remember to take care of your own health first!</em></p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Copy-of-linkedin-filler-pictures-5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3000"/></a></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-bullying/">I’m a grown up! – And still being bullied….</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/workplace-bullying/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace – breaking the glass slipper, ceiling & cliff</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2021 06:53:05 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assumptions about women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[breaking the glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[broken rung]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[cinderella]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[entitlement gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lead]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[females]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender equality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[girls supporting girls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass cliff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[great leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male supporters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[strong leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the glass slipper]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the real world glass slipper]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unconscious bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woke]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woman boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in the workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women supporting women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working moms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mums]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2894</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Climbing the corporate ladder for female leaders still remains overly complex. It's time to break the glass ceiling & glass cliff for good.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace – breaking the glass slipper, ceiling & cliff</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p><strong>Article 3 of 3 in the <em>Female Leadership</em> series</strong></p> <h6 class="wp-block-heading"><em>CO-WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY (<a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a>) & ALICIA KOCH (<a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a>)</em></h6> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Think back to when you still played with dolls and had tea parties with your teddy bears. When we all still believed in magic and talking animals. When we all still watched Walt Disney with a certain sense of belief. And wonder.</p> <p><em>We all wanted to be the heroine in our own stories. We all wanted to be the princesses in our own fairytales.</em></p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2921"/></figure> <p>Take Cinderella as an example. Despite being, for want of a better word, a servant in the beginning of the story, we all still wanted <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY30B9ZMq4U" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">talking mice as friends</a> <em>like her</em>, we all wanted to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSknj15TYuU" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">talk to birds</a> <em>like her</em> and we all wanted to have our own Happily Ever After <em>like her</em>. <em>We all wanted to be Cinderella.</em></p> <p>I mean, why not? At the end of the day she was rewarded for her hard work and strife with one night that changed her life. Forever.</p> <p><em>Swoooooon.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em><strong>The fairy tale</strong> – no glass ceilings or cliffs in sight</em></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries11.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries11" class="wp-image-2914"/></figure> <p><em></em>Donned in her one-of-a-kind, exquisite dress and glass slippers (all provided by her magical Fairy Godmother), Cinderella runs down the stairs as the clock strikes 12 (just before her carriage turns into a pumpkin) leaving behind one glass slipper – the <em>only clue</em> to her identity for her one true love to find.</p> <p><em>Umm, hello? Wouldn’t he just recognize her face, her laugh, her voice? Why the glass slipper? And – as an aside – if it fit so perfectly, how did it fall off her foot in the first place?</em></p> <p>Miraculously, prince charming by sheer wit and will alone (<em>whatev’s</em>) finally finds Cinderella, the glass slipper fitting her perfectly (I mean how unique <em>were her feet</em>?) and suddenly he recognizes her. Because of her glass slipper….. not because of her.</p> <p>And they lived<em> Happily Ever After</em>.</p> <p>Simple as that.</p> <p><strong>Preposterous!</strong></p> <p>I mean a shoe cannot be the key to a Happily Ever After, can it? (If so, then Alicia, here is the proof that your shoe fetish has been wholeheartedly justified).</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The real world glass slipper</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2922"/></figure> <p>If we’re really honest – we wanted the happily ever after part. We too wanted to get everything we had ever dreamed of.</p> <p>If we are <em>really, really honest</em>, we dreamt of having our own Fairy Godmother, of wearing the glass slippers and of having our own prince charming sweep us off our feet.</p> <p>We are both romantics at heart….. <em>and naïve.</em></p> <p><em></em>But it was only later that we discovered that stories like Cinderella were not only <em>wholly inaccurate</em>, they were also make believe. They were fairy tales. Some might even say that they were vehicles for keeping women in line – <em>be good, work hard and you will be rewarded with your prince charming. </em>A whimsical tale, which may even dissuade a woman from actually trying to climb the corporate ladder in the first place – <em>why do all that if you only need a prince charming to make you happy?</em></p> <p>And whilst we always had a taste for expensive heels, it was only later in our careers that the “<em>glass slipper”</em> magically appeared in our life. Just not in the way we had always imagined it would.</p> <p>You see, adulthood has a way of poking holes into even the most charming of fairy tales. And even the most innocent of wishes.</p> <p>Reality is no fairytale.</p> <p>So, let’s talk about the <em>“glass slipper”</em> <strong><em>in the real world</em></strong>….</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Problem 1 for females in the workplace: </em><strong><em>The Glass Ceiling</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries5.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries5.png" class="wp-image-2915"/></figure> <p>Not a slipper at all, rather a ceiling. The glass ceiling can be described as an invisible barrier that <em>prevents women</em> from rising to higher ranks within a corporation. And women continue (even in this day and age. Perhaps, especially in this day and age) to struggle to get fair representation in corporate boards and higher management levels <em>because of it</em>.</p> <p>You know you have reached this glass ceiling when lesser qualified individuals than you keep passing you by, smugly being promoted to more senior roles.</p> <p>In fact in a study titled the <a href="https://www.ijrte.org/wp-content/uploads/papers/v8i4/D6923118419.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Impact of Glass Ceiling on Stress, Well-Being, Self-Esteem, Effective Organizational Commitment and Job Satisfaction among Working Women</a>, the following was set out – <em>“even though there is a considerable increase in participation and subsistence of women employees in the workforce, the ingress of women into higher managerial positions remains restricted”</em>.</p> <p>And that was in 2019.</p> <p>It is clear that the glass ceiling is still being fought today. I mean we <em>can</em> <em>see through it</em>. We just <em>cannot break through it</em>. <strong><em>Still</em></strong><em>.</em></p> <p>In our article <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Women leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a>, we highlighted the fact that based on the January 2021 S&P 500 list, women currently hold only 31 of the <em>total CEO positions</em> at S&P 500 companies. That makes up a meager 6.2% of total global top 500 companies.</p> <p>Startling.</p> <p>And we’re certain that a common thread with each of the female CEOs has been to fight tooth and nail for the role. Because they undoubtedly had to work doubly hard for the position. It’s a battle women around the world face in their workplace. No matter how “diverse” their oganisation may claim to be.</p> <p>And don’t forget, the effects of the glass ceiling can be felt long after you have bumped your head against it – year after year. In fact, in the afore mentioned study, the researcher wanted to “<em>throw the light on the need of equality which is only seen in policies / practices, but the fact is <strong>females are not taken as healthy competitors of males in professional roles due to the social taboo & how these things are affecting their performance, job satisfaction, work-life balance, stress levels & their confidence</strong>.”</em></p> <p>In fact, and according to <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/glass-ceiling-effect" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">health line</a>, the realities of inequality in the workplace can have a direct effect on women’s health and well-being. A stalled career and the inability to gain a higher income can leave you with a bundle of mixed feelings, including self-doubt, a sense of isolation, resentment, anger, stress, mood disorders, anxiety and depression. I am certain we have all felt it at one point or another.</p> <p>And whilst women have been chipping away at the glass ceiling for years, there is still <em>a long way to go</em>.</p> <p>However, the important take away is this – being held back <em>because of the glass ceiling</em>, is a <em>reflection on the company you work for</em>. And not on you or your abilities.</p> <p>You <em>can </em>manage the stress, depression and anxiety by talking to someone who understands you, who can listen and provide some guidance, like <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> <p>So keep looking beyond that glass ceiling and focus on the stars instead.</p> <p><em>“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star” – W. Clement Stone</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><em>Problem 2 for females in the workplace:</em> <strong><em>The Glass Cliff</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2916"/></figure> <p>Michelle Ryan, a social and organizational psychologist at the University of Exeter, (and the person responsible for coining the phrase the <em>“glass cliff”), </em>described the<em> </em>research-backed phenomenon as when <em>women are promoted to senior leadership positions during a difficult time for a company, when the risk of failure is high. </em>And fail to lead <em>because of it</em>.<em></em></p> <p><em></em>It is a <em>sister phenomenon to the glass ceiling</em> and is seemingly one of the major ways that women can attempt to <em>break through the glass ceiling. </em>Unfortunately.<em></em></p> <p><em>It’s easy to understand why it is likened to a cliff – given the ease in which you can fall off it!</em></p> <p>And the crucial thing with the Glass Cliff is the <em>timing and manner in which women are promoted to leadership positions</em>. Are women only chosen for top positions <em>because of precarious times</em>, because employees are demanding diversity, because their stakeholders are demanding diversity?</p> <p>According to Michelle Ryan and in answer to the above question, (together with her colleague Alex Haslam), the “<em>failure to lead” </em>during difficult times is not <em>due to women being bad leaders, but because they were appointed as leaders when companies were failing themselves</em>.</p> <p><em></em>The conclusion? – <em>if women are only promoted during times of crisis the fact that they fail is <strong>not because they are unable to lead, but because leading in a time of crisis is more difficult</strong> and more precarious than leading when everything is smooth sailing. It’s the circumstance and not the quality of leadership.</em></p> <p>Seemingly obvious.</p> <p><em></em>And what inevitably results from “<em>failing to lead” </em>during these times of crisis is the assumption (and stereotype) that <em>women are unable to lead and are not good in leadership roles.</em></p> <p>Not only nonsense but outright unfair!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>The glass cliff and glass ceiling in action</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries8-1.jpg" alt="gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries" class="wp-image-2917"/></figure> <p>I (Frieda) once had a conversation with the senior heads of a global corporation about its lack of diversity in the executive team. Of the 20 members, not a single female was represented. When I pointed out the benefits that qualified and capable women would bring to the team, I was greeted by a roll of the eyes and a sneer: “<em>We’ve tried that twice before and look at how that turned out</em>.”</p> <p>I was pretty astounded by the response. I knew the women who had been appointed to these top positions: both strong, charismatic, clever women. Women who had dedicated the majority of their professional careers to the organization. And when I say dedicated – I mean dedicated. They’d sacrificed time with their families. Worked late into the night. Travelled the world to meet with consumers and staff. These were women whose hard work and integrity I admired. Whose dedication had warranted their promotion.</p> <p>But once they had jumped every hurdle possible to achieve the lofty heights of the executive suite – it became a never-ending battle to stay there. Instead of focusing on the capability, compassion, innovative way of thinking which they had brought to the executive suite, one was cloaked by rumours that she’d slept her way to the top – quite frankly, who cares who she was sleeping with (if she was). She was excellent at her job and deserved a seat at the table. And the other was knowingly promoted into a position outside of her area of expertise at a time when the company was really struggling. <em>Glass cliff – here we come!</em> A year later, she was replaced by a man. Back into familiar territory we go.</p> <p>The cards were written before the executive suite door had even been opened.</p> <p>Despite regaling this information to the senior heads, I’m sorry to say that it landed on deaf ears. The same corporation today still has a leadership team of 20 people – only one of them is a woman.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>So how are the glass ceiling and glass cliff tackled?</em></strong></h2> <p>Not through positive discrimination – that’s for sure! Appointing women to higher ranking positions purely because quotas or external financing require it, doesn’t stop sexist behaviour – it fuels it. Positive discrimination suggests that women need a leg up to get to the executive level. What nonsense! Women deserve to be appointed because of their <em>talents, because of their hard work, because of their perspective.</em> Appointments should be based on <em>merit</em> not gender … or race, sexual preference or religion for that matter.</p> <p><em>So what can we do tackle the glass ceiling and glass cliff?</em></p> <p>It may seem like a <em>“Duh”</em> moment but it’s simple really.</p> <p>It <em>starts</em> by consciously changing the kind of sexist language that is no longer acceptable in the workplace today. And ladies, this applies to us too. We have adopted sexist language into our own daily vocabulary. Language that encourages the unconscious bias that companies have towards women in the workplace. Language that limits a woman’s role within the workplace. Albeit unconsciously.</p> <p>When preparing this blog post, we spoke with a number of our female friends in the corporate world and asked them for examples of recent sexist language used in the workplace. Take a look at the infograph below.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/what-women-dont-want-to-hear-in-the-workplace.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2944" width="660" height="1500"/></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>These sayings or words may seem somewhat unimportant and petty. Especially when there are bigger issues at hand. But language and <em>how it reflects the role of gender in the workplace, how it can perpetuate the glass ceilings or cause the glass cliffs is crucial</em>. Think about it – <em>“oh it’s that time of the month again” – </em>eluding to the fact that a woman, especially in a senior role, cannot be entrusted to make a sound decision because she is on her period. It’s nonsense. And yet said. So often.</p> <p>These small changes in the workplace, like changing demeanour and changing language can place everyone – male and female – on a level playing field at an earlier stage in their careers. Right from the get-go. And in the right way.</p> <p>But language is only the beginning – how about when appointing women in senior leadership positions, you provide them with the support they require to succeed? Whether that means bigger budgets, more time, more flexibility or the support of others within the company. Whatever it is. They need to be set up to succeed. Not set up to fail. Just like a man placed in the same role. Equality is the goal!</p> <p>Logical. And easy to do. No?</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Breaking through the glass ceiling and cliff: Is there a happy ever after?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/gender-discrimination-in-the-legal-profession-Braving-Boundaries10-Custom.jpg" alt="gender discrimination in the legal profession Braving Boundaries10 (Custom)" class="wp-image-2925"/></figure> <p><em></em>There is a great saying: <em>“Teach your daughters to worry less about fitting into glass slippers and more about shattering glass ceilings.”</em></p> <p>Accurate. And appropriately thought provoking. But we think it goes beyond that..</p> <p>There is no doubt that fairytales have their place – they bring a magical quality to our childhood (and to our dreams) – but (more importantly) we need to teach the younger generation about how the real world works. We need to teach them about the importance of culture and diversity <em>in all aspects of life</em>. About equality. About how language impacts the way we see the world.</p> <p><em>About the realities of glass ceilings and glass cliffs. And not about the romance of glass slippers.</em></p> <p>Through teaching the next generation, we are not only seeking to eradicate inequality at the younger level, we are also bringing awareness to our own language and behaviour; to our own unconscious bias.</p> <p>And perhaps instead of just wearing our glass slippers, we can take them in hand and use them as tools to break the glass ceilings and glass cliffs. Turn the fairytale into something more empowering. We don’t need a prince to be our “happily ever after”. What we <em>do </em>need is awareness, strength of character and moral aptitude to do better. Be better.</p> <p>After all – isn’t that what a fairytale is for – showing you how good life could be? Well then, be rewarded for your hard work and strife. Take that darn shoe (glass or otherwise) and walk forward, looking ahead. Your head held high. Because you don’t need to rely on a fairy Godmother to make your dreams come true. <em>You have yourself for that!</em></p> <p></p> <p><strong>Other articles in the <em>female leadership</em> series:</strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Article 1: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – WHY ARE WE SO FEW?</a><br><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Article 2: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – HOW DO WE BREAK THROUGH?</a><br><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">Article 3: FEMALE LEADERS IN THE WORKPLACE – BREAKING THE GLASS SLIPPER, CEILING & CLIFF</a></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator"/> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">FEMALE LEADERS in the workplace – breaking the glass slipper, ceiling & cliff</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Naked Lawyer: When I met my Judge!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 29 Apr 2021 08:02:39 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lessons Learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[body image]]></category> <category><![CDATA[body worries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[camping with dogs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[clothing optional]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executive coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[insecurities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judge]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgement]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment detox]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment free]]></category> <category><![CDATA[judgment free zone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[klipfontein]]></category> <category><![CDATA[land cruiser]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer problems]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lessons learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category> <category><![CDATA[naked]]></category> <category><![CDATA[narrow mindedness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[naturist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[naturist campsite]]></category> <category><![CDATA[no judgment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[nudist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open minded]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open mindedness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open-mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[open-minded]]></category> <category><![CDATA[outdoor camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[positive intelligence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[rustic camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[saboteurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-compassion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-conscious]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-imposed limitations]]></category> <category><![CDATA[south africa camping]]></category> <category><![CDATA[tulbagh]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Meet the Naked Lawyer (and her Judge)! Welcome to camping with a twist - where clothing is optional and an open mind is a necessity.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/">The Naked Lawyer: When I met my Judge!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>I’ve thought long and hard about whether or not I should write this article. Ironically, for fear of judgment. And rejection. But I’ve learned some important lessons about myself over the last 4 days. And I always believe it is important to share those important lessons when learnt. </p> <p>So, here it goes.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"></h2> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Camping with a twist</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2-1024x768.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2827"/></figure> <p>The 27 April is a Public Holiday in South Africa – <em>Freedom Day </em>– a day which commemorates the country’s first democratic elections after the apartheid era. This year it happened to fall on a Tuesday, so we decided to make a long weekend out of it.</p> <p>As some of you know, we have recently bought an old Land Cruiser which is fully kitted out with a roof top tent and awning. We both love traveling and exploring new locations, but feel guilty leaving our 3 rescue dogs behind. The land cruiser was an ideal solution. And last weekend was the perfect opportunity for our first adventure.</p> <p><em>And what an adventure it was!</em></p> <p>As is typical for us, we ended up leaving arrangements to the last minute. Having trawled through the internet for dog-friendly campsites and contacted numerous agents for assistance, we managed to find a beautiful campsite in <a href="https://www.booking.com/hotel/za/klipfontein-farm.en-gb.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Klipfontein, Tulbagh</a>, about 90 minutes outside of Cape Town. The pictures looked beautiful. There was tonnes of space for the dogs to run. And it was a no kids’ zone! Perfect when you have dogs who use children as ten-pin bowling practice!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>The </strong><strong><em>bare</em></strong><strong> necessities</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/3-1024x768.png" alt="" class="wp-image-2828"/></figure> <p>The booking confirmation came through and immediately my face flushed red: “<strong>CLOTHING OPTIONAL</strong>”. And you’d think as a lawyer I would have read the small print! How was I going to explain this?!</p> <p>Now, one thing you should know about me is that, when embarrassed, my reaction is to burst out laughing (you’ll see how inappropriate this trait is later) – and this had me in fits. I awkwardly explained to Justin what I’d done and – to my surprise – he took it in his stride: <em>“<strong>Best give the dogs’ nails a trim then</strong>”! </em></p> <p>So, after having a good giggle about the error of my ways with a few of our close friends, we headed off to Tulbagh. The car was full to the brim: dog beds, tables, cooking equipment and ironically two full suitcases of clothes. Well, it did say clothing was optional – and I fully intended to embrace this option!</p> <p>As we arrived, I could already feel the nervous laughter rising from the pit of my stomach. <em>“<strong>Just behave Frieda. Nudity is a perfectly natural state</strong>”</em> – I said to myself. But, frankly, nothing can prepare you for walking around a corner smack into a very naked man. Especially when he is a stranger. I burst out laughing! Oh my goodness, I had no idea where to look. Fortunately, I could pass off the laughter as fright from the collision. But thank heavens for my COVID mask! </p> <p>The gentleman was super kind and found the owners for us who, in turn, explained the layout of the campsite, fetched us firewood, came to meet the dogs, and helped us locate a braai pit (barbecue pit for non-South Africans). </p> <p>We explained to them that this was our first time venturing into a naturist campsite and that we hadn’t actually realised it was an <em>au natural </em>camp at the time of booking. They were incredibly kind and re-emphasised the fact that clothing was optional. <em>No one would judge</em> <em>us </em>if we chose to keep our clothes on. Or if we braved taking them off. There was 50 hectares of land so we could be as secluded as we liked. </p> <p>But, the toilets, showers and wifi were only located in the main campsite. Where every other naturist would be….</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Shaken but not stirred!</strong></h2> <p>I must say, having got the initial interaction out of the way, my discomfort levels rapidly decreased. We did opt for a secluded spot under the willows opposite the main campsite. Partly for the dogs. But mainly to ease ourselves into these new surroundings. </p> <p>Having established camp, we ventured into the main campsite to familiarise ourselves with the lay of the land. No sooner had we arrived, we were offered pancakes and a beer, asked if any assistance was required, and engaged in conversation. </p> <p>The openness and friendliness of the camping community was quite different to our normal camping experience. Usually, people tend to acknowledge each other by a nod of the head, but generally try to avoid engaging in social niceties. This was a refreshing change. And the conversation was a lot more honest and open because <em><strong>eye contact was consciously maintained!</strong></em> (But yes, I couldn’t resist having a peek or two – oh come on, so would you!)!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Meeting my judge</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/4-1024x768.png" alt="The Naked Lawyer - When I met my Judge!" class="wp-image-2829"/></figure> <p>By Day 2, we’d plucked up the courage to give it a whirl. The sun was shining. We were in our secluded spot. We felt safe. And if we weren’t going to experience this now, then when were we ever going to? So off came our clothes! </p> <p>It felt so foreign and triggered every single one of my insecurities:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>“What would people say if they find out?”</li><li>“What would they think of me?”</li><li>“How is this going to damage my reputation?”</li><li>“People are going to think I’m weird!”</li><li>“You’re no Cindy Crawford! Keep your clothes on and don’t go and offend society!”</li></ul> <p><strong><em>Isn’t it amazing how harshly we judge ourselves, each other and uncomfortable situations</em>? </strong>All those negative assumptions that we carry around with us. We are so conscious of what other people think about us that I can only imagine how often our “judge” prevents us from trying out new things or stepping outside of society’s expectations.</p> <p>But rather than reaching for my clothes, I pushed myself to see how long I could last. I’m in a fortunate position to be training in <a href="https://www.positiveintelligence.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Positive Intelligence</a> at the moment – which directly explores the limitations which our Judge and supporting saboteurs impose on the way we see the world. As such, I have a tonne of exercises that I can tap into to calm my survival brain (which encourages fight, flight or freeze actions) and activate my PQ brain which views things from a much more empathetic, curious, creative, fearless and clear-headed perspective.</p> <p>Yes, the first few conversations were a little awkward, but gradually the discomfort of seeing multiple naked bodies dissipated. It wasn’t threatening, sexual or perverse – which is (admittedly) what I had sub-consciously expected. It was a judgment-free community which had erased all of societies airs and graces. </p> <p>These people were comfortable with who they were. They were comfortable with their bodies – which crossed all dimensions of society: race, size, culture, age, gender. There was no automatic assumption of positions or the status you held in society by the clothes you wore. <strong><em>Everyone was on a level playing field – something which we rarely experience in this day and age.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Judging others: It says more about you</strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/5-1024x768.png" alt="Meeting your judge" class="wp-image-2830"/></figure> <p>The weekend not only opened our eyes to a new experience, but it also shed light on how I judge myself and others around me. And I should say that I consider myself to be pretty open-minded. The lessons I learned were the following:</p> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-10 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p></p> <p><strong>I’m a lot less concerned about my cellulite when the rest of my body is on show!</strong> My body is also in pretty good nick – so I should probably embrace that!</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-11 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>Honest and powerful conversations come when you make eye contact.</strong> Granted, I was consciously conversing at eye level – but my goodness, I realised how little we actually look people straight in the eye when we talk to them. We are forever scanning people. Looking around. Multi-tasking whilst having a conversation. Rarely do we focus just on the conversation at hand. Try it out – you’ll see the difference.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-12 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>We assume so much about a person based on how they dress</strong>; what they do; where they live; what car they drive etc. We form our first impressions of people within a <a href="https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-many-seconds-to-a-first-impression" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">blink of an eye</a>. Quite literally within 1/10 of a second! Most of the time our assumptions dictate whether or not we invest in a conversation. I’ve learned so much about the people I met this weekend because societal indicators were removed.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-13 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>We make judgments about situations that are foreign to us. </strong>The minute we exit our comfort zone and try something new, our brain also steps out of its comfort zone. It struggles to compute the new pattern of activity and switches into “survival mode” in order to protect us. By calming our brain and seeing the situation for what it is – a learning opportunity – we are able to step out of this fight, flight or freeze mode and become less judgmental.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-14 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <p><strong>It’s strengthened my relationship. </strong>Both of us were outside of our comfort zone this weekend and our insecurities were triggered. But we laughed, talked openly, listened and supported each other. We return to our daily lives more aware and more open-minded.</p> </div> </div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>What’s your judge preventing you from doing?</strong></h2> <p>The above story is intended to highlight how our own self-judgment, the judgment of others and judgment of situations keeps us trapped in the status quo. Our judge narrows our perspective, holds us back from trying out new things, and makes implementing any desired change in our lives ten times harder.</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>Imagine being able to take time off work without feeling guilty.</li><li>Imagine being able to try a new hobby without fear of criticism.</li><li>Imagine being able to date without fear of rejection.</li><li>Imagine being able to voice your opinion without fear of repercussions.</li></ul> <p><strong>So ask yourself this:</strong></p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li>What assumptions / judgments do you hold about yourself, about others and about certain situations?</li><li>Are those assumptions / judgments valid? Or are they triggered out of fear? Or are they triggered out of your own insecurities?</li><li>What is your judge preventing you from doing? What desired changes in your life is it preventing you from making for fear of negative consequences?</li></ul> <p><strong>We all have a judge in us. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.</strong></p> <p><strong>Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know yours, so that you can reduce its power? </strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/book-a-call/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/naked-lawyer-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2823"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/">The Naked Lawyer: When I met my Judge!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-naked-lawyer-judgment-free/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>8</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2021 18:34:44 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assumptions about women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[broken rung]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[entitlement gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lead]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[females]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender equality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[girls supporting girls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass cliff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[great leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male supporters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[strong leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unconscious bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woke]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woman boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in the workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women supporting women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working moms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mums]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>How do bring more female leaders into senior positions? It's time to be inspired. It's time to be brave not perfect.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/">Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p><strong>Article 2 of 3 in the <em>Female Leadership</em> series</strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>In our <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">last article</a>, we discussed barriers women face in the workplace. Things like the <em>broken rung effect</em> and the <em>entitlement gap</em>. Each explaining why there are so few women in senior roles in the workplace – a type of unconscious bias (both by women caused by societal ideas of the broken rung and the entitlement gap as well as the subliminal bias of their male counterparts) that women don’t belong in senior level positions.</p> <p>But we couldn’t disagree more – women have so much to bring to the workplace. Offering different benefits and positive additions to the workplace. </p> <p><em>This is <strong>not</strong> a male vs female thing. </em></p> <p>Rather it is women and men working together – with equal pay, equal say and equal standing in the workplace. Even in senior roles.</p> <p>Unfortunately, it just appears that women haven’t been given the “leg up”. And there is still a disconnect, despite surveys and studies to the contrary, between the notion that women offer a great deal to the organisations that they work for and there just not being enough women in real leadership roles in the workplace to take any guidance or motivation from.</p> <p>We are seemingly short of role models……</p> <p>The song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv-0mmVnxPA" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">“Let the River Run”</a> by Carly Simon comes to mind – </p> <p><em>“We the great and small</em></p> <p><em>Stand on a star</em></p> <p><em>And blaze a trail of desire</em></p> <p><em>Through the darkening dawn”</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>And I am not sure about you but I am suddenly imagining Melanie Griffith in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_Girl" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working Girl</a> commuting to New York City in her sneakers!</p> <p>And it is this movie that, in at least some ways, firmly represents what it means to break-through in the workplace. To become the person you know you are meant to be. Despite any previous notions to the contrary.</p> <p>And it is the most obvious example I can use in not only setting the tone for this article but also highlighting what we already know – we deserve to be here. We deserve to be in senior roles. We deserve to succeed.</p> <p>Working Girl, in my opinion, remains a timeless example of the working woman – women that are fierce, passionate, courageous and resilient all at the same time. Possibly ahead of its time (in its messaging), Working Girl celebrated the bravery and ambition it takes to <em>maintain your values while fighting for a place in a system that isn’t designed to accommodate you</em>. The real love story isn’t between Tess and Jack or even Tess and her job—<strong><em>it’s in the love and belief Tess has for herself </em></strong>(<a href="https://film.avclub.com/working-girl-s-message-is-timeless-even-if-the-hair-an-1841193320" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Working Girl’s message is timeless, even if the hair and the shoulder pads aren’t</a>)<strong><em>.</em></strong></p> <p>And following on from Tess’s realisation, women need to believe that they are stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we are able to achieve more than what we have been led to believe (both by society and ourselves). We may think that we are alone and that we cannot breakthrough the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-breaking-the-glass-ceiling/">glass ceiling in the workplace</a> (something we will also be discussing in our next article – watch this space). But that simply isn’t true. Even if we cannot see it. </p> <p>And therein lies the seemingly obvious realisation – there are just not enough women in any industry to show us that <em>we can</em> – there are not enough role models to show the younger generation of women what is possible. What they can do. Who they can become and what they can achieve. </p> <p>But we can change that….</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="female-role-models-in-the-workplace-just-a-few-shining-examples"><strong><em>Female role models in the workplace (just a few shining examples) – </em></strong></h2> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace2-1.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2736"/></figure> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="alyssa-carson"><strong><em>Alyssa Carson</em></strong></h3> <p>The 19-year-old astronaut in training who is on a mission to become the youngest person ever in space and one of the first people on Mars, graduated from the Advanced Space Academy at 16-years-old, becoming the youngest person ever to do so. </p> <p>In an interview conducted by <a href="https://www.thefemalelead.com/post/meet-the-teenage-astronaut-in-training-on-a-mission-to-mars" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Female Lead</a>, Alyssa was asked one question which has seemingly stood out – <em>When you first decided to train as an astronaut, did you have any preconceptions as to what one looked like?</em></p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“When I was younger I didn’t really have much of an idea of who astronauts were and I think that’s the biggest issue – so many kids are interested in space and haven’t always seen visible representation in the media, like women and younger people. One thing for me that I’ve been trying to change is to encourage younger people who are interested in space to go for it at any age. The youngest person, in the USA, to fly to space was 32 and I always just thought why is that. Of course, you have to do the training and attend University but why have we never sent anyone younger.</em></p><p><em>I think the next steps should be to get </em><strong>more women involved in the industry </strong><em>– which is already happening and is amazing to see – but also to capture the younger generation in this. </em><strong><em>Seeing more females of all ages working in the various roles throughout the space industry would be amazing</em></strong><em>”</em>.</p></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Alyssa was then asked – <em>How important are female mentors to you? </em>And her obvious answer was – </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“</em><strong><em>Really important</em></strong><em>. So many female mentors have made me think that what I want to do is definitely possible”.</em></p></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="jacinda-adhern"><strong><em>Jacinda Adhern</em></strong></h3> <p>Jacinda is the 40 year old New Zealand politician who has been serving as the 40th prime minister of New Zealand and leader of the Labour Party since 2017. She was first elected to the House of Representatives as a list MP in 2008, and has been the Member of Parliament for Mount Albert since March 2017. In 2017 (and at 37), she was the youngest head of state in New Zealand.</p> <p>Due to her amazing leadership, she will govern New Zealand for a second term after the Labour party secured a historic landslide victory in the general election in 2020, attracting so many votes it could become the first party in decades to be able to govern alone. </p> <p>She is an incredible leader transforming public assumptions about women in leadership, taking her daughter in 2018 to the UN, becoming the first world leader to bring their baby to the UN general assembly. She eliminated COVID-19 in her country announcing in April 2020 that there was no longer any undetected community transmission of COVID-19 and that her country had effectively “eliminated” the virus, with health authorities aware of and able to trace each current case. She banned military-style semi-automatics less than a month after the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/13/they-are-us-christchurch-shooting-victims-remembered-two-years-on" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Christchurch shootings</a>. She became the first NZ PM to march in an LGBTQ+ Pride event. In 2020, she pledged to provide period products to all girls committing to end “period poverty” by giving all school-aged people who have period’s free sanitary products. And those are just some of her highlights. There are so many <a href="https://scroll.in/video/942660/watch-new-zealand-pm-jacinda-ardern-take-less-than-three-minutes-to-outline-two-years-achievements" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">more</a>.</p> <p>But even a woman as highly regarded and as highly accomplished as Jacinda <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/21/jacinda-ardern-i-try-to-turn-self-doubt-into-something-more-positive" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">revealed</a> that she suffers from “imposter syndrome” and she tries to turn her self-doubt into “something more positive”.</p> <p>We can all understand it. No matter how well we do or how high we fly – we still doubt ourselves. An unfortunate result of decades of believing that we are not worthy. </p> <p>But we <em>can</em> overcome all of these doubts and misgivings and turn it into something positive. Just like Jacinda. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="there-are-so-many-other-amazing-female-leaders"><strong><em>There are so many other amazing female leaders – </em></strong></h2> <p>Just take your pick!</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2737"/></figure> <p>There are other women in leadership roles that are shining examples of how women can (and do) succeed – take congresswoman <a href="https://ocasio-cortez.house.gov/about/biography" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez</a> for example, or president of the European Commission <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/ursula-von-der-leyen/?list=power-women&sh=300ff75175d4" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ursula von der Leyen</a>, or CEO of Nasdaq <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/adena-friedman/?list=power-women&sh=2243c2f3245f" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Adena Friedman</a>, or <a href="https://www.forbes.com/profile/oprah-winfrey/?list=power-women&sh=6c4454965745" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Oprah Winfrey</a> for goodness sake. Or any of the other 100 most powerful women in the world as listed by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/power-women/#2e129b5a5e25" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forbes</a>.</p> <p>There are many powerful and successful women in senior and leadership roles. </p> <p><strong>We just need to look beyond our own insecurities, our own inabilities and be our own cheerleaders. </strong><strong><em>Believe that we can do it</em></strong><strong>. If the women listed in Forbes top 100 woman can do it, so can we! </strong></p> <p>We just need to look beyond our own fears to see them. <strong><em>And be them.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-women-break-through-in-the-workplace"><strong><em>So how can women “break through” in the workplace?</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2739"/></figure> <p>I wish it was as easy as – “Abracadabra”. But it just isn’t.</p> <p>But we need to start somewhere. </p> <p>You often find that success is found outside of your comfort zone. And more so than that – by tackling the things that scare you to the core. </p> <p><a href="https://reshmasaujani.com/about/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Reshma Saujani</a>, founder and CEO of <a href="https://girlswhocode.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Girls Who Code</a>, said that while girls are taught to play it safe, smile pretty and get all A’s, boys are taught to play rough and swing high. <em>“In other words, we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave,”</em> she said in a <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/reshma_saujani_teach_girls_bravery_not_perfection/transcript?utm_campaign=BeepBeepBites%20-%20Nieuwsbrief&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8hrp2DddFfAf2NdFVByHUTn6FGOOYtdO-Tj4iaUlmmZM_y7TTWE3OK83RNrqqYeU-PawWa" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">TED </a>talk. Even when women are ambitious, the socialisation of perfection often leads them to risk aversion, Saujani said. So teach girls bravery,<strong><em> not perfection. </em></strong></p> <p>Leave the perfection to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stepford_Wives_(2004_film)" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Stepford Wives</a>. Spoiler alert – it is science fiction (aka not real and not realistic)!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="because-it-takes-bravery-to-succeed-not-just-being-perfect"><strong><em>Because it takes bravery to succeed not just being perfect. </em></strong></h2> <p>Every successful entrepreneur and business leader <em>did what they were afraid to do instead of just letting the fear rule their personal and professional lives.</em> Often the best way to overcome fear is to acknowledge it. Recognise that the fear is there, but go for it anyway. If we don’t, we may miss one of those serendipitous <em>“aha”</em> moments that could inspire us to take a different approach and, by so doing, achieving greatness. </p> <p>So it comes down to this – if we want to be viewed as equal in the workplace, if we want equal pay and equal opportunity. If we want the recognition that we deserve (and have earned). If we want the working conditions that are favourable to us. If we want to have that work-life blend and not fear having to always “be on”. If we want to simply excel, then –</p> <p><strong><em>We must stand our ground and demand the respect we deserve – and it starts by behaving as if the entitlement gap has been closed and the broken rung has been well and truly fixed. </em></strong></p> <p>Women need to lead by example in order to be role models to other young women entering the work force. </p> <p>In an article by Business News Daily titled <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Key Steps Women Can Take to Be Strong Leaders</a>, the following was set out – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“As each woman in the workplace does her part to work toward gender equality in her workplace, the gaps will slowly but surely close. It isn’t a matter of the different strengths that men and women bring to their careers, but instead </em><strong><em>how we accept the meshing of those strengths to drive companies forward in meeting their goals and setting new ones while achieving individual success</em></strong><em>”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And that’s the point really. We don’t want more than men. We just want the same. And it really <strong><em>starts with us simply standing up for ourselves (and each other) and being brave</em></strong>! </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace4.jpg" alt="“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid” – Goethe " class="wp-image-2738"/></figure> <p></p> <p>So let’s do that! <strong><em>Let’s be bold, let’s be brave and let’s succeed!</em></strong></p> <p>In closing, we hope that these quotes will inspire you to do great things (whatever they may be) – </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p>“<em>Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” </em></p><cite>Maya Angelou</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done.”</em> </p><cite>Marge Piercy</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” </em></p><cite>– Marie Curie</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.”</em> </p><cite>Atticus</cite></blockquote> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-15 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/">Female leaders in the workplace – how do we break through?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-how-do-we-break-through/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>2</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 08 Apr 2021 09:07:23 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Working environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[assumptions about women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[broken rung]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[entitlement gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[executives]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female business women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female entrepreneurs]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female lead]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[female role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[females]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender discrimination]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender equality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender gap]]></category> <category><![CDATA[gender inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[girls supporting girls]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass ceiling]]></category> <category><![CDATA[glass cliff]]></category> <category><![CDATA[great leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[inequality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male role models]]></category> <category><![CDATA[male supporters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[strong leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic work environments]]></category> <category><![CDATA[toxic workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[unconscious bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woke]]></category> <category><![CDATA[woman boss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women bosses]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in leadership]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women in the workplace]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women leaders]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women supporting women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mom]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working moms]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[working mums]]></category> <category><![CDATA[workplace bias]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2678</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Women bring unique qualities to leadership teams, and yet women leaders in the workplace remain so few. Let's explore why!</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/">FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <p><strong>Article 1 of 3 in the <em>Female Leadership</em> series</strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p>Gender equality in the workplace is not a new topic of discussion. It has been discussed numerous times before. Seemingly falling on deaf ears. Not surprisingly as women leaders in the workplace are still a minority. And that is a fact.</p> <p>But we want to reiterate before proceeding any further that <strong><em>this is <u>not</u> a gender bashing or anti-men article</em></strong>. Having women in leadership roles and gender equality is not about disliking men or wanting dominion over them. Not at all. It is simply about wanting to be treated fairly and equally, to have equal pay, equal opportunity for senior roles, to have our concerns, our ideas and ourselves (personally and professionally) taken seriously.</p> <p>So let’s start off with the following quote (to set the tone) –</p> <p><strong><em>“I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves” – Mary Shelley.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries4.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2694"/></figure> <p>If this were 60 years ago the very notion of women being anywhere but in the kitchen would have been the punchline to a joke. But here we are in 2021 and women can be (somewhat) seen in the workplace fulfilling different roles in different industries. Performing very well, actually.</p> <p>But the question, on most (women) people’s lips, is this – <strong><em>how many women are really in senior roles or leaders in companies? Are companies merely paying lip service to the notion of diversity in the workplace?</em></strong></p> <p>According to the <a href="https://www.catalyst.org/research/women-ceos-of-the-sp-500/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Catalyst</a>, and based on the January 2021 S&P 500 list (which is not a static list and is updated annually with women who are counted from the date they officially take their positions), women currently hold 31 of the total CEO positions at S&P 500 companies. That makes up only 6.2%. <strong><em>In total.</em></strong></p> <p>To illustrate how significant these appointments of female CEOs are, <a href="https://fortune.com/2020/11/24/dicks-sporting-goods-new-ceo-lauren-hobart-women-in-business/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">News</a> was made in November 2020 when Lauren Hobart was appointed as Dick’s Sporting Goods CEO, replacing Ed Stack, whose father founded Dick’s in 1948. According to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/women-fortune-500-ceos-reaches-new-high-2020-11?IR=T#a__text_Hobart_s_20appointment_20brings_20the_20number_and_20Linda_20Rendle_20at_20Clorox_" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Business Insider</a>, this <em>appointment was significant</em> enough to note in a lengthy article on the matter. You see, Lauren’s appointment brought <strong><em>the total number of Fortune 500 Companies with female CEO’s to 41.</em></strong></p> <p>Women around the world “applauded” as the numbers rose from a previous “record high” of only 40<strong> female CEO’s. This is said with a certain amount of sarcasm – 41 is really not an adequate number. </strong><em>Is it?</em></p> <p>Honestly, I am not entirely sure that one increase in the number of female CEO’s is worth the applause. Although, as they say – “Beggars can’t be choosers”. A harsh statement to make, but it makes an impact. Especially under these circumstances.</p> <p>Whilst we can acknowledge that the representation of women in senior roles in the workplace is improving, we are still significantly underrepresented. And that is simply not acceptable. Not in today’s times.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But why are women so underrepresented in the workplace?</em></strong></h2> <p>Well there are quite a few contributing factors, including the <em>“broken rung” </em>and the <em>“entitlement gap” –</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace – The “broken rung”</em></strong></h3> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries5.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2695"/></figure> <p>According to <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">the McKinsey & Company September 2020 article</a>, the representation of women <em>was starting to improve</em>. Most prominently in senior management where the representation of women in senior-vice-president positions grew from 23% to 28%. But those percentages are still terribly skewed and women are once again not filling more of the senior roles.</p> <p>McKinsey claims that it is the <em>“broken rung”</em> that is still holding women back. With women continually losing ground at the first step up to becoming a manager. As an illustration (and putting it into perspective) – for every 100 men promoted to manager level, only 85 women are promoted. As a result, women remain significantly outnumbered in entry-level management, holding only 38% of manager-level positions, whilst men held 62%. With this being the case, women experience an uneven playing (and paying) field leading to persistent leadership gaps in senior roles.</p> <p><strong><em>You see, gender diversity is simply not a priority to most companies. Especially in times like COVID.</em></strong></p> <p>The McKinsey study showed that prior to COVID, <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Women in the Workplace research</a> had consistently found that women and men left their companies at comparable rates. However, <strong><em>due to the challenges created by the COVID-19 crisis, as many as two million women are considering leaving the workforce</em></strong>.</p> <p>Mothers are more than three times as likely as fathers to be responsible for most of the housework and caregiving during the pandemic. <strong><em>Where is the sharing of the load here</em></strong><em>?</em> In fact (and according to the Study), woman are 1.5 times more likely than fathers to be spending an additional three or more hours per day on housework and childcare. So much so that women who are employed full-time are often said to be working a “double shift.”</p> <p><em>I can hear a collective “Amen sister” as I write that. Because it is the truth, is it not?</em></p> <p>Now women (and mothers in particular), are taking on an even heavier load. The title of the Sarah Jessica Parker movie <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJPKOS9DZeg" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">“I Don’t Know How She Does It”</a> springs to mind.</p> <p>It therefore comes as no surprise that one in five mothers who don’t live with a spouse or partner, <em>face even greater challenges</em>. It’s enough to want to make you pull out your not so perfectly coiffed hair (which reminds me – I really need to book a colour and blow wave. <em>When I get the chance</em>.).</p> <p>So given these enormous challenges faced by mothers <strong><em>at work and at home</em></strong>, two things should come as no surprise – many mothers are considering downshifting their career or leaving the workforce altogether, and mothers are significantly more likely to be thinking about taking these steps than fathers are.</p> <p>The (additional) problem is this – if these women leave the workplace, there will be even fewer women in leadership roles. And we simply cannot afford that.</p> <p><strong><em>Keeping your head above water nowadays really does feel like swimming against the current. In shark infested waters.</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Women in the workplace – The “entitlement gap”</em></strong></h3> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries7.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2698"/></figure> <p>A study, which was led by Cambridge psychologist <a href="https://terriapter.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Dr Terri Apter</a> in collaboration with LinkedIn and the educational charity <a href="https://www.thefemalelead.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Female Lead</a>, came to the startling (but not really surprising) conclusion that <strong><em>women have been socially conditioned to feel less deserving of men</em></strong>. Especially with regards to things such as pay rises, promotions or more suitable conditions (even when you know you deserve it). A phenomenon they term <em>‘the unentitled mindset’</em> or the <em>“entitlement gap”</em>.</p> <p><strong><em>This gap both aptly and accurately describes the difference between the ways that men may be quick to make demands on an employer and how women are reluctant to do so at all.</em></strong></p> <p>According to the survey of 2,000 UK workers (which was conducted as part of the study), the problem is widespread. <strong><em>The results show that 44% of women agree that women feel less entitled to promotions or increased pay in the workplace, with more than a third (35%) saying that they had experienced the entitlement gap themselves or had seen it experienced by others</em></strong>.</p> <p>In addition, men admitted negotiating pay for a new role more often than women (63% compared to 40%), and while nearly half of the men (48%) said they had asked for a pay increase or promotion outside of their annual review, only a third of women (32%) had done the same. And when it comes to applying for a new job, over a third of men (37%) said they would apply for a new role even if they felt that they met approximately 50% of the criteria required, versus just one in four (27%) women admitting to being “brave enough to do so”.</p> <p>Dr Apter has said that this entitlement gap effects women’s mental health, in two important ways –</p> <p>1. anxious energy and constant reflection that goes with knowing that you deserve more status or higher pay or better conditions while wondering whether you really do (imposter syndrome to the max), and</p> <p>2. the risk that the unentitled mindset doesn’t switch off even when you are not facing the specific challenge that activated it.</p> <p>Leading to women, who have been treated badly in one workplace, being reluctant to ask for the status and/or pay they deserve when being offered a position in another workplace. Why? Because instead of owning their value and worth, they feel ‘grateful’ or ‘lucky’ that another company is <em>even interested in them</em>. It’s like having <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/battered-woman-syndrome" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">battered wife syndrome</a> – where women who have suffered from abuse start to believe that that’s all they deserve and lose sense of their self-worth and self-value.</p> <p>Although the entitlement gap impacts our behaviour, the study is keen to highlight that this mindset is not the fault of women – instead, <em>it’s the product of a wider societal problem and the only way to solve this gap is to make society-wide changes</em>.</p> <p><strong><em></em></strong>But that is easier said than done. And just like from the SJP movie, you begin to ask yourself – <strong><em>How do you keep your life together, without losing it?</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But women leaders have so much to offer…</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries2.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2692"/></figure> <p>Again, we want to reiterate that we are not just <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10760207/woke-meaning-definition/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">woke</a> women who are gender bashing our male counterparts without rhyme or reason. We are not just <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/computer-science/liberal-feminist" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">liberal feminists</a> who believe that women are superior to men. No. We believe that women and men are equal. And should be treated accordingly. Both sexes have their own benefits that they bring to the table. Equally important. But not always the same. And we believe that there is space for both sexes in every company.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>Why we need more women leaders in the workplace</em></strong></h2> <p class="has-black-color has-text-color"><strong>(Not that this should need explanation, but) <em>Here’s why –</em></strong></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em><u><a href="https://hbr.org/2019/06/research-women-score-higher-than-men-in-most-leadership-skills" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Harvard Business Review</a></u> (HBR) – Women in leadership positions are perceived as being every bit as effective as men.</em></strong></h3> <p>According to the HBR, in an analysis of thousands of assessments, women were rated as excelling in taking initiative, acting with resilience, practicing self-development, driving for results, and displaying high integrity and honesty. In fact, they were thought to be more effective in 84% of the competencies that we most frequently measure. The conclusion? Women are equally as effective as men.</p> <p>I do sense a communal “Duh” moment here….</p> <p>But the HBR research also echoed that of the Entitlement Gap survey – when women were asked to assess themselves, despite their aptitude and ability to do the job, they are not generous in their own ratings. In fact, they have lower scores than men on confidence ratings, especially when they’re under 25.</p> <p><em></em>But what the HBR research concludes (something we already know) is that it is not a woman’s lack of skill, understanding, capability or competence that holds them back. <em>It is the scarcity of opportunities.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em><u><a href="https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/7-reasons-want-women-workplace/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Centre for Creative Leadership</a></u> (CFCL) – Gender diversity is key for organisations’ bottom lines</em></strong></h3> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries3.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2693"/></figure> <p>To further this point, the CFCL has concluded that companies that don’t realise the importance of women in the workplace are missing out. Besides doubling their talent pool, more women may also improve a company’s performance.</p> <p>The CFCL research showed that gender diversity was key for organisations’ bottom lines:</p> <p><em>1. “Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women on boards financially outperform companies with the lowest representation of women on boards.</em></p> <p><em>2. Gender-diverse teams have higher sales and profits compared to male-dominated teams.</em></p> <p><em>3. A recent Gallup study found that gender-diverse business units have higher average revenue than less diverse business units”.</em></p> <p>But it doesn’t end there.</p> <p>The CFCL also found that having a higher percentage of women in an organisation reflected –</p> <p>1. More job satisfaction;</p> <p>2. More organizational dedication;</p> <p>3. More meaningful work;</p> <p>4. Less burnout, and</p> <p>5. Positively affecting employee engagement and retention.</p> <p>Specifically, when asked why they stay with their current employer, people from organisations with a high percentage of women were more likely to cite positive and meaningful organisational culture, including having a job that fits well with other areas of their life, opportunities for them to make a difference with employees claiming that under female leaders they are just able to enjoy their work more.</p> <p><em>Simple as that!</em></p> <p>In addition, senior-level women are more likely than senior-level men to embrace employee-friendly policies and programs and to champion racial and gender diversity (more than 50 % of senior-level women say they consistently take a public stand for gender and racial equity at work, compared with only about 40% of senior-level men).</p> <p>And these findings persisted regardless of the participants’ age, industry, organisation size, leadership level, ethnicity or gender.</p> <p>Women are also more likely to mentor and support other women (38% of senior-level women currently mentor or sponsor one or more women of colour, compared with only 23% of senior-level men). And that is hugely important – <strong><em>women have got to help other women!</em></strong></p> <p>It comes down to the personal approach that women just seem to have. Treating their co-workers and employees like people instead of machines. It’s about caring. And that makes all the difference.</p> <p>So whilst we agree that women are not superior to men, we do believe that we bring something (very) special to the table…..</p> <p>And the results really do speak for themselves.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>But…. There is <u>always</u> a but.</em></strong></h2> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/female-leaders-in-the-workplace-Braving-Boundaries6.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2696"/></figure> <p>Whilst studies prove that women are not only competent to do the work but are also very competent leaders, women still turn down leadership opportunities because they are uniquely concerned that their qualifications will not stand up to their male counterparts and are not sure that others in the organisation will support them. Instead, they express concern that they were being set up for failure – the so-called <em>“glass cliff”</em> positions where leadership opportunities are high stakes, precarious, and have a high likelihood of failure (we will discuss this in our <strong><em>upcoming article</em></strong> – so watch this space!).</p> <p>Unfortunately, research conducted by the <a href="https://hbr.org/2017/10/research-objective-performance-metrics-are-not-enough-to-overcome-gender-bias" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Harvard Business Review</a> suggests that these concerns among women are valid. Studies show that organizations expect women to be more qualified than men for the same positions, and that <a href="https://hbr.org/2012/11/study-women-get-fewer-game-changing.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leadership opportunities for men often come with more resources</a> compared to women’s leadership opportunities.</p> <p><em></em>Given the above, it is not surprising that many women (in general) have said that the single most important thing companies <em>can do to attract and retain talented women is to admonish sexism and offer gender parity in pay, experiences, and opportunities for success.</em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong><em>It doesn’t seem like a big ask. Does it?</em></strong></h2> <p>But there just seems to be a disconnect with just not enough women in real leadership roles. And leaders have got to start taking a long hard look at what gets in the way of promoting women in their organisations. Clearly, there is an unconscious bias (both by women caused by societal ideas of the broken rung and entitlement gap as well as the subliminal bias of their male counterparts) that women don’t belong in senior level positions. So, it’s imperative that companies change the way they make hiring and promotion decisions and ensure that eligible women are given serious consideration. Not just given lip-service.</p> <p>Following her presentation at the 3rd Annual Women in Insurance Conference, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-jordan-b3065931/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Carla Jordan</a> Chief Financial Officer of <a href="https://emeraldsa.co.za/emerald-africa/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Emerald Africa</a> has this to say about Female Leaders in the Workplace –</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>“As a women leader in business, I know first-hand that the road to success is a little bit more winding, with barriers and challenges along the way that perhaps our male counterparts never encounter or even know exist. I also know that you cannot let these things define you or stand in your way. With global gender equality estimated to take another 100 years or more, we certainly cannot sit on the sidelines and wait for the world to change and for opportunities to come to us. As women, we need to be more confident in ourselves and our abilities, and lead the change that we want for ourselves and future generations”.</em></p></blockquote> <p>And it is on this point that we undoubtedly agree – we need to be more confident, we need to speak up for ourselves and what we want. And in order to get those things, we need to lead the change that we want for ourselves and for the future generations of women that will follow in our footsteps.</p> <p>And that can only be done with action leading to positive change.</p> <p><em></em>Can you say – <em>“One giant leap for woman kind”?</em></p> <p><strong><em>And we know we can do it!</em></strong></p> <p>In our next article we will be highlighting some incredible female role models and discuss how we can break-through in the workplace. Stay tuned!</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/struggling-in-the-workplace-CTA.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2690"/></a></figure> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-16 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/">FEMALE leaders in the workplace – why are we so few?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/women-leaders-in-the-workplace-why-are-we-so-few/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Who are you? A lawyer or so much more?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 02 Mar 2021 10:59:43 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life after Law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[beyond law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer careers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer lifestyle]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life after law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[who are you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[young lawyer]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=2560</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>If I were to ask you to describe yourself, what would you say?<br /> My guess is that the phrase "I'm a lawyer" would be one of the first things that slip out of your mouth. For lawyers, the lawyer identity is so intrinsic to us that we often forget who else we truly are. Are you ready to find out?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/">Who are you? A lawyer or so much more?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <h5 class="wp-block-heading"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></em></h5> <p></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><strong>Who are you?</strong></p> <p>A seemingly innocuous question.</p> <p><em>“Hi. I’m Alicia. And I’m a lawyer.”</em></p> <p>I am a lawyer. And that is it. Nothing else to let anyone know who we <em>truly are</em>. Besides our professional title.</p> <p>Where are our other identifiers?</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Our identity as a lawyer </strong></h2> <p>Is our whole identity just that – a lawyer? Does that really describe who we are at the core? Where did all the rest of our personality, interests and roles in the world disappear to? And why do we choose our professional title as our soul identifier?</p> <p>Perhaps it is society’s interpretation of the title of “lawyer”? Being a lawyer seems to signify to the world that we slot into a respectable bubble. Without the need for further explanation or introduction. People <em>assume</em> that we are wealthy, have a big home, go on holiday to exotic locations. That we are intelligent, hardworking or more accurately, workaholics, who bring home big salaries and have no social lives outside of the office. Stereotypical. Sometimes unfair. And we are expected to act in this scripted behavior pattern. Even if it is not us.</p> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-sora-shimazaki-5673501-edited-1.jpg" alt="lawyer identity" class="wp-image-2600" width="821" height="513"/><figcaption><em>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@sora-shimazaki?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Sora Shimazaki</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/serious-businesswoman-hurrying-with-documents-from-courthouse-5673501/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></em></figcaption></figure></div> <p>But in a lot of instances, saying that we are lawyers can be comforting – we work hard for the title, for the recognition. For the respect. We have earned our <em>“stars and stripes”.</em> Even if the perception of “who a lawyer is” is not entirely accurate. Or fair.</p> <p>Aren’t we more than <em>just </em>“lawyers”?</p> <p>And how does this limited definition of <em>who we are</em> affect us – by solely identifying ourselves as lawyers? What do we lose as a result? What does this <em>persona</em> prevent us from being? From doing? It is limiting. Unfairly so. Because we are so much more than just lawyers. We are more than our titles and our jobs. We are multifaceted human beings with varying interests and hobbies. </p> <p>Who we are extends beyond how we earn our living. Even if we love how we do it.</p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Losing our full identity – becoming an imposter</strong></h2> <p>Being an imposter (not to be confused with imposter syndrome) means exactly what you think it does. By relying on other people’s perceptions of ourselves (whether it be our partners, family, friends or colleagues. Even strangers), we become imposters in our own lives – </p> <p><em>Mirroring what other people expect from us</em>. </p> <p>Instead of doing what we want to be doing, being who we want to be. <em>Who we ought to be</em>.</p> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-tasha-kamrowski-987627-edited-1.jpg" alt="Mirroring what other people expect from us | lawyers" class="wp-image-2601" width="809" height="505"/><figcaption><em>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@kamrowskiphotography?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Tasha Kamrowski</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-holding-mirror-against-her-head-in-the-middle-of-forest-987627/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></em></figcaption></figure></div> <p>This “mirroring”, for a lot of us, results in a level of <em>“stuckness”</em> that is seemingly impossible to dig our way out of. I know <em>stuckness</em> is not a word. But it describes the feeling of being so stuck in the grit and slime of it all – <em>the all</em> that is everyone else’s ideals, ideas, assumptions and perceptions that we cannot see the forest for the trees.</p> <p>Can you feel the weight of it? The <em>stuckness</em>, the stickiness. Like dirt and grime under your fingernails that you just cannot get clean, no matter how hard you scrub…</p> <p>Your daily reminder of <em>the something</em> that is “there” but seemingly just beyond our reach. Mainly because we are walking around with blinders on. Not focused on our prize or goals. At least, not the ones we set for ourselves. These blinders are everyone else’s expectations, fears, hopes and dreams.</p> <p>And the weight just gets heavier. The <em>stuckness</em>, the stickiness just becomes gooier. </p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>My experience – losing myself to the lawyer</strong></h2> <p>I can relate. These are not the rantings of a deranged mind. But a free one. One that has been through the “changing”. </p> <p>I recall stumbling into law school because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to be. But my parents were. I recall stumbling from first year to final year, on to articles and the bar exam. All because other people knew I should. I recall again stumbling from one legal role to another, all because I was good at what I did (for the most part). Recruiters believed in me. My bosses believed in me (for the most part) and my family was so proud of me. </p> <p><em>I was the first lawyer in the family you</em> <em>know</em>. </p> <p>And everyone else’s pride, everyone else’s belief in me, their “support” led me to believe that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. </p> <p>This belief and pride (while wonderful) became my blinders. Created my own <em>stuckness</em>.</p> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1179" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/2-edited.jpg" alt="overworked lawyer" class="wp-image-2603"/></figure></div> <p>And it certainly didn’t help that these blinders were further blackened by the fact that with the roles and “accomplishments”, the salaries got bigger, the house moved to a fancier neighbourhood, my car became faster. <strong>I was fulfilling the scripted role expected of</strong> <strong>me.</strong> </p> <p><em>The stuckness</em> that started to emulsify and gurgle under my feet.</p> <p>I wanted to join a yoga class but I simply couldn’t find the time. I wanted to comment on Facebook but it was “unbecoming of someone in my position” – I was representing clients, my company. And not myself. I couldn’t say <em>that</em>. I did not have my own opinions anymore. And that was stifling. For me at least. I wanted to join an art class but they were usually after hours and during the week. I honestly didn’t know what the meaning of “after hours” was. I was always on call and always available. </p> <p>Even the “empty” hours at the very end of my day were filled with feelings of guilt for not actually finishing the work I should have finished before leaving at 10pm that night. Guilt that was further fueled by the shame I felt for not taking proper care of my body. Guilt that was further fueled by not spending more quality time with my husband. I was tired. No, exhausted. And felt so guilty.</p> <p>Exhausted and guilty because my worth, my measure of who <em>I was</em>, was someone else’s measure. It was someone else’s yardstick and someone else’s opinion. Because it was assumed.</p> <p>And that was no longer enough. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>The changling – The lawyer and so much more</strong></h2> <p>Looking in the mirror one day, the person looking back at me had changed. It was subtle at first. But instead of going to bed every night racked with guilt for so many reasons<em>, I started to think about all the other things in life that I was missing out on</em>. The yoga class, the art class, the weekend away with my husband. Planning an overseas trip. Going to the spa. Seemingly every day things. But not ones I dared imagine. <em>Before the change</em>. </p> <p>And by slowly changing how I felt about the world around me, I also started to recognize everything I now wanted to do. And I started to look different. Happier. More determined to build the life I wanted to live. </p> <p><em>More determined to define </em><strong><em>Who I was</em></strong><em>. By my own measures. Lawyer as well as everything else that makes up who I am. </em></p> <p>I started to admit that there was something amiss in my life. I started to admit that I was not doing what I wanted to be doing. That I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. That I wasn’t defining who I was, to my core. And I started to change. </p> <p>I had become a <em>changling</em>. </p> <p>As an adolescent I dreamt of being centre stage citing famous lines from the likes of Tennessee Williams, Peter Shaffer and Ben Elton. Maybe not on Broadway. Off Broadway was good enough. I dreamt of being able to express myself, without the wrath of other people’s disapproval – <em>you’re a lawyer, you can’t say that</em>. <em>Can’t be that</em>. </p> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1920" height="1179" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/3-edited.jpg" alt="lawyer on stage" class="wp-image-2604"/></figure></div> <p><em>I dreamt of words. Big words. Of feelings and expressions. All Big. Big. Big. </em><strong><em>But my own Big.</em></strong><em> </em></p> <p>And I wanted to do that. To be that. To describe that, in my words.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Becoming more than just a lawyer</strong></h2> <p>It is a sacrifice.</p> <p>It was never going to come easy. Change never does. And it never happens overnight. </p> <p>I think that is one of the failings of wanting to make a change – this immediate gratification that we have seemingly developed. We think it will happen immediately. Like I have made the decision now everything must be different. But this just isn’t reality. Unfortunately. </p> <p>With change sometimes (often times) comes sacrifice. </p> <p>In order to live the life we want, to be doing the things we want to be doing. By defining ourselves by our own measures, <strong><em>one has to make a plan</em></strong>. One needs to make sacrifices. And that’s ok. Trust me. It can be done.</p> <p>This often involves reaching out to professional coaches such as Frieda Levycky of <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> who is able to listen to your feelings, to your fears. Who understands and empathises. And who can help you determine what steps you should take to make your dreams a reality. It is a process. But a worthwhile one.</p> <p><strong><em>But it can (and should) be done.</em></strong></p> <p>I may not be famous like Tennessee Williams or as controversial as Ben Elton. I haven’t written epic plays like Equus. But I have been to Broadway (I was in the audience), I have visited Tennessee, I stayed in the <a href="https://wgno.com/news/where-in-new-orleans-did-tennessee-williams-write-a-streetcar-named-desire/#:~:text=Tennessee%20Williams%20wrote%20%E2%80%9CA%20Streetcar,Charles%20Avenue.">hotel in New Orleans</a> where Tennessee Williams wrote <em>“A streetcar named Desire”</em>, I am able to enjoy a yoga class every Monday morning and a night cap with my hubby (almost) every evening – this is a no judgement zone. </p> <p>And (most importantly) I get to write to my heart’s content every single day. I have defined who I am, without the need for the script, expectation or anyone else’s assumptions. </p> <p><em>I am a lawyer and so much more. </em></p> <div style="height:30px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="630" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-774866-edited-1.jpg" alt="happy lawyer" class="wp-image-2605"/><figcaption><em>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@olly?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Andrea Piacquadio</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-looking-at-the-mirror-774866/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></em></figcaption></figure></div> <p>And my hope is that the next time I am asked the question – <em>Who are you? –</em> I can simply say– </p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p><em>I am Alicia, wife to an amazing man, mother to four cats (not dragons), lover of words, poetry, art and travel – a renaissance woman in the making. A whisky drinker and wine appreciator. Foodie. Someone who prefers </em><a href="https://genius.com/Jim-morrison-a-feast-of-friends-lyrics"><em>a feast of friends to the giant family</em></a><em>. Devotee of old music. Lawyer. </em><a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist"><em>And The Legal Belletrist</em></a><em>. </em></p></blockquote> <p>I am more than one thing! We all are. </p> <p>And I feel that it is at this moment that the following immortal quote from Shakespeare is apt – </p> <p><em>“Above all – </em></p> <p><em>To thine own self be true”</em></p> <p></p> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide"/> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide"/> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-17 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist-1024x1024-1.jpg" alt=""/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p>About the writer, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong></p> <p>Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism. </p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://www.thelegalbelletrist.com/">The Legal Belletrist website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></p> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/">Who are you? A lawyer or so much more?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/who-are-you-a-lawyer-or-so-much-more/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 23 Jan 2021 19:49:32 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[marketing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sales]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-promotion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[selling ourselves]]></category> <category><![CDATA[service industry]]></category> <category><![CDATA[services]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you. There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you.</p> <p>Let’s be honest, when we became lawyers, either we believed in fairness and justice and wanted to change the world for the better or we wanted to earn lots of money (or maybe a bit of both). But, unless our parents were in the law, we had very little understanding of what the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> really was about or what it entailed. Never did we consider that, as we climbed the corporate ladder, we would have to manage people (clients and teams alike), run a business, or actually go out and sell our services! <em><strong>Where is the law in that?</strong></em></p> <p>The reality is that once we have reached the level of Partner or (if we have decided to step out on our own) Freelancer, Consultant or Sole Practitioner, until we have our client base established, our day-to-day job becomes less about law and more about marketing and business development. We have entered the world of entrepreneurialism or solopreneurialism – and I can tell you now – that’s not a particularly comfortable place for most lawyers.</p> <p>So, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why we, as lawyers, have such an in-built resistance to selling our services and explore some ideas of how to improve our attitude towards marketing ourselves.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-energepiccom-313690-e1611435063713.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="but-we-are-lawyers-not-marketers">But we are lawyers not marketers!</h3> <p>Business development is not something which we are taught in law school or during our LPC or our early years as an Associate. In fact, for many lawyers, business development is not a skill we are taught at all. And yet, from an early stage in our careers as lawyers, the “business development” criteria is a firm fixture on our appraisal forms. And it only increases in importance the higher up the corporate ladder we climb.</p> <p>For some, business development skills come naturally. But, for most, the thought of having to sell ourselves and our services without the requisite skillset to do so, causes overwhelming bouts of anxiety and stress – more so than we would care to admit. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/cheat-sheet-9-tips-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="770" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Optin-graphic.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2418"/></a></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-introduction-to-business-development">My introduction to business development</h3> <p>My first introduction to the world of business development was through “<i>client drinks</i>”. When I was a mid-level Associate in Singapore, client entertainment was a big thing. We had some brilliant Partners who were incredible at business development – Nick Merritt, Laurie Pearson and Nicky Davies to name but a few. Business development, seemingly, came so naturally to them: they could talk to anyone at any level in the organisation. And people indeed were drawn towards them. It was actually quite mesmerising to watch.</p> <p>Now, you would think that business development and client entertainment would come pretty naturally to me. On the outside, I have a relatively extroverted personality. I am a chatterbox. I enjoy going out for drinks with friends. I’ll happily make a fool of myself to make others feel more comfortable. I’m a good listener and people generally like me (though there are a few exceptions). But, when it comes to people I don’t know, or people I have placed on a pedestal, or people who I am supposed to impress, or people I am indirectly selling to – my introvert appears, and I want to run for the hills.</p> <p>So when, one afternoon, we were reminded that we had to attend drinks with HSBC (a Key Client) that evening and all the top tier executives would be there, my heart sank. That all-too-familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach had reappeared. Ugh! I hated client drinks.</p> <p>Immediately, a whole host of doubts and negative beliefs popped into my head:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Who’s going to want to speak to me? I’m only a junior associate!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about finance. I’m going to come across as a right nit-wit!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about what HSBC is doing. I’m going to embarrass myself and be a terrible reflection on the firm!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I haven’t read the news this week! I can’t even talk about world events!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Am I dressed ok for client drinks?</li></ul> <p>To be fair, in Singapore, I could have worn anything to client drinks and it would have been acceptable, but still, all of these doubts raced through my mind and I could feel the nerves building, a dry throat forming and foggy-headedness appearing. By 2pm, I’d already created a mountain of self-made obstacles to overcome, and the drinks hadn’t even started!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="why-lawyers-fear-hate-business-development">Why lawyers fear / hate business development</h3> <p>I’d like to say that my experience towards business development was unique, but the more friends I’ve spoken to and more clients I’ve coached around this issue, the more I realise how endemic the fear and anxiety around sales is in the industry. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/[email protected]" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><strong><i>But why?</i></strong> Aside from the lack of skills training when it comes to business development, what preconceived ideas about ourselves – and about sales in general – are we holding on to that make business development so uncomfortable for us?</p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>The car salesman stereotype</strong> – How many of you, when you hear the word “sales”, automatically picture a gelled-back, slick car salesman with his slippery and schmoozy chat, pushing you into purchasing the latest shiny model? Yes, it’s a stereotype, but it is a stereotype firmly entrenched in our brains. So when, as lawyers we are sent out into the world to bring in new business, we immediately feel like we are becoming someone that nobody likes or wants to engage with. Needless to say, we resist the association <strong><i>at all costs!!</i><i> </i></strong></li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I’m an introvert. I don’t like talking to people, never mind selling to them </strong>– It’s funny how when it comes to sales we assume that being an introvert is a negative thing. Surely you have to be gregarious, outgoing and buoyant to sell services. Well, let me ask you this: as an introvert, how do you like to be sold to? Is it the loud and brash character that is going to attract you? Or actually is it someone who is more humble with a well-thought-through offering? Someone who is like you? </li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the experience – I’ve only been doing this for 2 years</strong> – There are varying versions of this theme: I don’t have the knowledge. I need to upskill. I need to train. I’ve only been doing this for [x] years. The point with experience though is that it only comes with practice. You have to start somewhere. You have to take that step into discomfort in order to practice and therefore improve. </li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the brand name</strong> – This one is more for the entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who have stepped away from Big Law and the big marketing machine that goes with it. I often hear solo / small firm lawyers stating that they can’t get work because they don’t have the brand name supporting them. But what proof exists to support that theory? There are many a successful boutique firm and sole practitioner out there who have succeeded without a big name behind them – I include myself in that group. Rather than thinking about what you are lacking, consider how your individuality and size can actually work in your favour.</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>There are other people doing this that are better than me</strong><b> – </b>I call this <i>comparisonitis. </i>Comparison is a dangerous game. We get ourselves tied up in knots when we start comparing ourselves to peers in the industry and it prevents us from moving forwards. We see people succeeding because they have skills that we don’t have. The thing is, we compare ourselves (both our successes and our failures) only against other people’s successes (their public image). We give no merit to the fact that these people may have struggled and experienced similar fears as we have along the way.</li></ol> <p>Before you’ve even begun contemplating seeking business, you have put 5 staggeringly tall hurdles in your own way. Is it any wonder that so many lawyers fear sales? It feels like one heck of a daunting mountain to climb.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/adversity.jpg" alt="daunting mountain to climb"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-lawyers-approach-business-development-with-a-healthier-mindset">So how can lawyers approach business development with a healthier mindset?</h3> <p>There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-18 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Build up your confidence:</strong> Whichever rung of the corporate ladder we are currently on, doing something new or something you haven’t practised for a while, tends to throw us into a bit of a confidence crisis. Business development is no exception. </p> <p>In order to be successful in business development, you need to start believing that you can be successful. Fundamentally, YOU are your brand. And that requires some work on your confidence. When did you last sit down and consider:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What your strengths are?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What attracts you to people?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What experience you have?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What skills you have?</li></ul> <p>I’m not just talking about in law. I’m talking about all the life experience that you can bring to the table. Business development is about so much more than the law. Remember, our experiences make us unique. No other lawyer in the world has the same life experiences as you do. How can you use these to your advantage?</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-19 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be You:</strong> Don’t mimic other people’s sales styles. Don’t try to be outgoing and funny if you have a more conservative and intellectual style. People are attracted to people who they can relate to and connect with. People who are genuine and trustworthy. It’s why the sleazy car salesman feels so objectionable. So, once you’ve built up your confidence – stand tall in those shoes – and just be who you are.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-20 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Stop thinking small:</strong> Clients may initially be attracted by a big brand name, but if the lawyer they end up working with is rude, incompetent or unresponsive (yes, they do exist in Big Law too), then a client will look elsewhere. Clients ultimately choose a law firm based on the lawyer(s), not the brand.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-21 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Have a plan of action:</strong> What are you looking to achieve from business development? Are you looking to start building your network and new relationships or are you looking to bring in new clients and build a practice? Whatever your goal, what ways are you looking to achieve that goal? Is it attending drinks events (or Zoom networking events as is the case now)? Is it identifying 10 target clients to nurture? Is it about getting your name out in the industry and using social media platforms (such as LinkedIn) to inform your audience about what you do? Is it a multi-pronged approach? Having a plan of action allows you to stay focused and avoids a haphazard, sporadic approach to business development.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-22 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be consistent:</strong> Business development takes time because building trust in relationships takes time. As you put your plan into action, you may not see immediate results. It doesn’t mean that you should give up on your plan. Stay consistent with your approach. Give the plan time to produce the results you are looking for. Keep showing up.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-23 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Nurture your network:</strong> Your network is your greatest asset. If you nurture and support your network, they will return the favour. It requires some work on your part: making an effort to reach out and stay in touch; attending events they host, supporting articles that they write. But what it does is to cement those relationships. These are people that know you and can already vouch for your capability. And, if you nurture those relationships, they’ll turn to you when they need you or be willing to refer work to you in the future.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-24 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be front of mind: </strong>Consider how you can keep yourself front of mind to potential clients after your first interaction. I’ve received calls out of the blue from potential clients based on a commodities bulletin I wrote and circulated a year previously. I’ve also had people call me because my photo on my business card triggered a memory about a conversation we had at a drinks event. Think of small and subtle ways that you can stay memorable to potential clients.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-25 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1883" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Switch the focus: </strong>Often our fears of business development arise because we are too focused on ourselves. How many of you spend your time worrying about what impression you are going to make or what people will think about you? Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s not all about you. Instead of focusing on you, switch the focus to the potential client. Think about why your services and working with you can benefit them. The reason you need to tell them about your services is so they know there is a good resource out there which can actually help them achieve their goals and ambitions. Switching the focus from selling to serving makes business development a heck of a lot more palatable.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-26 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1884" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Avoid the hard sell: </strong>There is nothing worse than coming to the end of a perfectly nice conversation with someone and they go in for the hard sell or ask why you haven’t sent any work over to them yet. All of that time you have spent relationship building dissipates in seconds. The whole conversation suddenly feels disingenuous and ends on a sour note. Business development isn’t about the hard sell – it’s about building a relationship over time. So, get to know your potential clients personally. Meet them socially. Listen to their needs. Talk about work so that you understand their business and they understand yours, but avoid the hard sell. Let the relationship do the work. When an opportunity arises in the future, it will allow the conversation (an offer to help) to flow much more naturally. </p> </div> </div> <p></p> <p class="has-text-align-center">_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p class="has-text-align-center"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-300x167.png 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-768x427.png 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-500x278.png 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-800x444.png 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-480x267.png 480w" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt=""></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Dealing with disappointment</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2020 07:33:11 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a covid christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a covid christmas story]]></category> <category><![CDATA[a lawyer christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[an attorney christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas 2020]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas activities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas fun]]></category> <category><![CDATA[christmas rules]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[covid christmas rules]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dealing with disappointment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[disappointment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[festive season]]></category> <category><![CDATA[good mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[grateful]]></category> <category><![CDATA[happy holidays]]></category> <category><![CDATA[holiday season]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal secretaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health matters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental wellness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[the grinch]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>As stricter restrictions on movement and gathering are implemented around the globe, there is a real sense of disappointment as we head into the Festive Season. Read this short article on how to cope with the mix of emotions which are being experienced at present and find some tips to bring positivity back into the Festive Season.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/">Dealing with disappointment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3><strong>Disappointment: A feeling we hate to cause and struggle to feel.</strong></h3> <p>And 2020 has provided many a chance to experience it from both sides. </p> <ul> <li>Weddings postponed</li> <li>Holiday plans abandoned</li> <li>Sports events cancelled</li> <li>New babies unvisited</li> <li>Graduation celebrations thwarted</li> <li>And now, for many countries, a strict lockdown over Christmas all together.</li> </ul> <p>The list goes on! COVID has really thrown us through the ringer this year!</p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/linkedin-filler-pictures-18-480x267.jpg 480w" alt="Disappointment" width="810" height="450"></p> <p>Our struggle with 2020 disappointment is that it feels unjustified – and many people are struggling to cope with the conflict of emotions they are experiencing.</p> <p>Logically – we know that COVID is a very legitimate and real reason to cancel events. People are worried. We understand it. We acknowledge it. But, when things get cancelled, it doesn’t stop us feeling:</p> <ul> <li>angry</li> <li>rejected</li> <li>deflated</li> <li>overwhelmed</li> <li>sad</li> <li>frustrated</li> <li>annoyed</li> </ul> <p>… to name but a few. All feelings which are naturally triggered when we are faced with disappointment.</p> <p><strong><em>And, do you know what, it’s ok to feel this way.</em></strong></p> <p>Even though we understand the reasons, we are allowed to feel the effects. Money has been wasted. Children have shed tears. Images of perfect celebrations have been re-shaped. And there is a tonne of guilt (on many levels) going around as a result.</p> <h3>How to deal with disappointment</h3> <p>For those of you who are putting on a brave face, don’t let the emotions fester inside. You know it will only cause more pain in the long run. Instead: </p> <ul> <li>Process the disappointment now</li> <li>Acknowledge the feelings</li> <li>Acknowledge the conflict between the feelings</li> <li>Know that your feelings are justified</li> <li>Gain perspective by speaking to friends and family</li> <li>Talk it through with those that have been involved</li> <li>And then, accept it for what it is and move on</li> </ul> <h3><strong>Adjusting to a Festive Season in lockdown</strong></h3> <p>As many countries start to implement stricter measures on movement and gatherings over the Festive Season, there is a realisation that a traditional Christmas / Hannukah is not going to be possible this year. For many of us, it’s the second or third time we’ve adjusted holiday plans to cater for COVID risks.</p> <p>There is a very real risk that we start to feel that the festivities has been cancelled completely this year. </p> <p>It would be understandable to want to motor through the Festive Season and start a fresh in 2021. </p> <p><em><strong>But, this year, more than any other, <a href="https://www.tech4law.co.za/business/practice-management-d58/lawyers-on-leave/">taking a break</a> and making the most out of the Festive Season is vital to recharge, re-set and prepare for 2021.</strong></em></p> <p>Whilst Christmas may not be the same as usual, it doesn’t mean it has to be a complete write-off. 2020 gives us a chance to mould and adapt our holiday traditions and try out something new this year. And you never know – there may actually be some new traditions created in the making. </p> <p>Whether you are alone this Holiday Season or with a smaller family gathering, take a read of the previous article: <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-the-grinch-stole-christmas-or-did-he/">“How the Grinch stole Christmas … or did he?”</a> for <strong>14 festive tips</strong> to help you thrive (not just survive) the 2020 Festive Season and set you up for a great start to 2021. </p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-1024x1024.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-300x300.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-150x150.jpg 150w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-768x768.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-500x500.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-800x800.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-980x980.jpg 980w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC-480x480.jpg 480w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/17-DEC.jpg 1080w" alt="How the Grinch stole Christmas ... or did he?" width="1024" height="1024"></p> <h3>Wishing you and your loved ones a relaxing Festive Season and a smooth entry into 2021.</h3> <p>_______________________________________</p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-300x167.jpg 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-768x427.jpg 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-500x278.jpg 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-800x444.jpg 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/your-time-to-shine-480x267.jpg 480w" alt="Basic Balance" width="810" height="450"></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/">Dealing with disappointment</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>