<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Business Development Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/category/business-development/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/business-development/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2025 14:27:48 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Business Development Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/business-development/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Five years of Braving Boundaries: The good, the bad and the “what was I thinking?”!</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/five-years-of-braving-boundaries-lessons-learned/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/five-years-of-braving-boundaries-lessons-learned/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 17 Mar 2025 13:16:02 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Celebrations & Festivities]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Business Growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Business Mistakes]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coaching Business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Corporate Coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Entrepreneurship]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lessons learned]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Professional Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Employment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[small business]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Small Business Advice]]></category> <category><![CDATA[small business lessons]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235165</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/five-years-of-braving-boundaries-lessons-learned/">Five years of Braving Boundaries: The good, the bad and the “what was I thinking?”!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Five years of Braving Boundaries. Five years of building a business from scratch. Five years of learning. And what a journey it’s been!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Starting a business is an eye-opening experience. It brings up all your strengths, weaknesses, fears and blind spots. It forces you to grow in ways you never expected. These are the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the last five years. If you’re running a business or thinking about starting one, maybe some of these will resonate.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/2.jpg" alt="Braving Boundaries 5 years collage" title="Braving Boundaries 5 years collage" class="wp-image-235206" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-235189" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that focus changes</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries started as a coaching business for the legal industry. It made sense. My background was in law and I knew the pressures lawyers faced. But over time I expanded my focus for two reasons.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">First, my corporate experience was broader than just law. Despite being told by business coaches that I needed to niche, I felt stifled by not being able to help a wider audience. Second, I realised I was playing safe by sticking with what I knew. I wasn’t stepping into a broader field because I didn’t feel I had the right. In reality, everything I had learned was transferable.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Don’t be afraid to change direction and step away from what you </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">should</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> be doing just because someone told you that’s the right way to do it. Trust yourself and evolve in the way that feels right for you.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-235190" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that you just have to start</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perfect doesn’t exist. You can spend months refining a programme, tweaking your messaging and waiting for the right time, but you still won’t know if it works until you launch it. By doing so, I’ve learned that some workshops sell out, others flop, some ideas take off, some don’t. The only way to find out is to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">put it out there</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Stop waiting. Just start. You’ll adjust as you go.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Ive-learned-that-you-just-have-to-start.jpg" alt="I've learned that you just have to start" title="I've learned that you just have to start" class="wp-image-235214" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/3.png" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-235191" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that quick fixes don’t work</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When you’re building a business, there is a huge temptation to speed up success. That’s when the “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Make US$10k a month overnight</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” adverts get you. Even when you know they’re too good to be true, there’s a part of you that wants to believe them.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Much to my own chagrin, I’ve fallen for it. I ignored my gut and paid for a course that sold the dream. I shouldn’t have. It still irritates me because I knew at the time it wouldn’t work. The reality is there are no shortcuts. Just put in the work, grow steadily and know that building something meaningful takes time.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Trust your instincts and don’t waste time chasing quick wins.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-235192" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that building a coaching business isn’t easy</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’ve had many clients who have benefited from coaching and decided to become coaches themselves. It makes sense. When something profoundly changes your life, you want to share it with others. I felt the same about becoming a counsellor after experiencing the benefits of two years of counselling in my early 30s.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing about coaching though, is that it isn’t the easiest business to grow. There are a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">lot</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> of coaches out there (see point 7 below) and, despite what the <em>“Make</em> <em>US$10k a month</em>” ads claim, it isn’t a “<em>get rich quick</em>” kind of business. You don’t go into coaching because it’s an easy way to make money. You go into coaching because you genuinely want to help people struggle less and succeed more. That’s why so many coaches fold within two years.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Coaching is about impact, not instant success. If you’re drawn to it, make sure you’re in it for the right reasons. The business side takes time, effort and patience – but when you’re passionate about what you do, it’s worth it.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Ive-learned-that-building-a-coaching-business-isnt-easy.jpg" alt="I’ve learned that building a coaching business isn’t easy" title="I’ve learned that building a coaching business isn’t easy" class="wp-image-235212" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-235193" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that pricing is a psychological battle</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Setting prices as a coach is torture. You spend hours comparing yourself to others, questioning your worth and wondering if you’re charging too much or too little.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What I’ve learned is that people will pay for what they value. If someone tells you that you’re “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">too expensive</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” what they actually mean is: “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">it’s too expensive for me</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” or “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">this isn’t my priority right now</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">” – and that’s fine. It shouldn’t make you doubt your worth.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Charge what reflects your expertise. The right clients will see the value.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/6.png" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-235194" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that you have to keep studying</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Getting a coaching qualification isn’t the end; it’s just the start. The world is shifting rapidly. AI is developing at speed, workplace challenges are evolving and new theories on human behaviour keep emerging. What worked five years ago doesn’t always work today.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Every client is different. Every team is different. To be a good coach, you have to keep learning, adapting and staying open to new ideas. The moment you think you know it all, well … that’s when you’re in trouble.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> If you work in a people-focused profession, staying relevant means staying curious. Keep learning.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/7.png" alt="" title="7" class="wp-image-235195" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that coaching should be regulated</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It still shocks me that anyone can call themselves a coach after a weekend course. No degree, no rigorous training, no board exams – just a certificate and a LinkedIn profile. Meanwhile, counsellors and therapists spend years earning degrees, passing board exams and meeting strict requirements before they can practise.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yet as coaches, we work with real people facing real challenges. Whether you’re guiding someone through their past or helping them build their future, you’re responsible for their wellbeing. That’s not something to take lightly.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m grateful for my 18-month coach training, but even then I chose to study psychology and counselling further. Not everything can be solved with a “<em>just focus on the future</em>” approach. Sometimes people need to unpack what’s holding them back before they can move forward.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong>:</strong> If you’re looking for a coach, do your research. If you’re becoming a coach, take the responsibility seriously. People put their trust in you – make sure you’re qualified to hold it.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/8.png" alt="" title="8" class="wp-image-235196" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that business brings up all your baggage</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Self-doubt, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, you name it! Starting a business drags up everything: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Am I good enough? What if people don’t sign up? What if I fail?</span></i></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Running a business means constant change. Change creates uncertainty. Uncertainty fuels fear. The trick is to take small steps and keep going.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> If you feel overwhelmed, break it down. What do they say about eating an elephant? Take one bite at a time.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Ive-learned-that-business-brings-up-all-your-baggage.jpg" alt="I’ve learned that business brings up all your baggage" title="I’ve learned that business brings up all your baggage" class="wp-image-235213" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/9.png" alt="" title="9" class="wp-image-235197" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that self-awareness is an ongoing reality check</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One of the biggest surprises was how much I learned about myself while coaching others and building a business.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I started noticing patterns. How I react under stress. How I have so many ideas but struggle to finish them. How, when I feel overwhelmed, my instinct is to avoid and run.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just last week my overwhelm levels tipped the scale. Instead of writing everything down on my to-do list and gently working my way through it, I decided to book in a facial and avoid everything for the day! I also managed to justify it easily as self-care (rather than avoidance) – I’m quite a pro at that! </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The irony is, I </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">know</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> that facing things head-on makes life easier. Yet even with all my awareness, old habits still creep in. That’s the thing about self-awareness – it doesn’t mean you magically stop your patterns, but it helps you catch yourself faster and course-correct.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Self-awareness is ongoing. Pay attention to your patterns.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/10.png" alt="" title="10" class="wp-image-235198" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that your support squad is everything</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Business can be lonely. Having a group of people at the same stage as you or a few steps ahead makes a huge difference.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">They’ll give you honest feedback, help you see things differently and keep you accountable.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Find your people. Business is hard enough without trying to do it alone.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Ive-learned-that-your-support-squad-is-everything.jpg" alt="I’ve learned that your support squad is everything" title="I’ve learned that your support squad is everything" class="wp-image-235209" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/11.png" alt="" title="11" class="wp-image-235199" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that passion and purpose both matter</b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m passionate about helping people and teams get unstuck. Seeing those </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">a-ha</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> moments when something finally clicks is what makes this work so rewarding. But passion alone isn’t enough. It’s what gets you started, but it doesn’t always keep you going.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Purpose is what gives passion direction. My purpose is to help people </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">do things differently</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> so they can create successful lives and businesses in a way that actually works for them. That’s what keeps me committed, even on the days when things feel hard.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Passion gets you excited about the work, but purpose gives it meaning. If you feel stuck, reconnect with both.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16 et_pb_image_sticky"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="540" height="540" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/12.png" alt="" title="12" class="wp-image-235200" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>I’ve learned that there is only one </b><b><i>you</i></b></h2></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In business (and especially in coaching), it’s easy to get caught up in comparison. You see other people launching polished online courses, nailing their social media presence or recording twenty engaging videos a week with zero effort. And sometimes, people even pinch your ideas. It’s frustrating, and it has a way of making your inner critic very loud.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What I’ve learned though is that someone can copy your content, your process or even your business model, but … they can’t be </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Your unique voice, your perspective, your way of connecting with people are what makes the difference. There are people out there who will choose </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> because of who you are, not just what you offer.</span></p> <p><strong>Takeaway:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Forget the noise. Stop worrying about what others are doing. The people meant to work with you will be drawn to </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">you</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. Not because you have the fanciest website or the most polished videos, but because of the way you make them feel. And no one else can replicate that.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Ive-learned-that-there-is-only-one-you.jpg" alt="" title="I’ve learned that there is only one you" class="wp-image-235207" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Looking ahead</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The learning never stops. These lessons have shaped how I work, coach and grow. Now it’s time to take them forward.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The next five years will be about building, evolving and making an even bigger impact. My dreams and goals for Braving Boundaries (and myself) have been set. Now it’s time to see them unfold.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Here’s to the next 5 years! </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f942.png" alt="🥂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Heres-to-the-next-5-years.jpg" alt="Here’s to the next 5 years!" title="Here’s to the next 5 years!" class="wp-image-235208" /></span> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/five-years-of-braving-boundaries-lessons-learned/">Five years of Braving Boundaries: The good, the bad and the “what was I thinking?”!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/five-years-of-braving-boundaries-lessons-learned/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 17 Sep 2024 06:18:56 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[addressing your fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[be the best you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stepping into change]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6301</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/">The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Picture this – you are contacted by a prestigious corporate association – or something similar – to speak at an upcoming legal forum. Not just to speak at the forum, to be </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> speaker at the forum. And it’s on a topic that you have researched countless times, speak about constantly and on which you have plenty of opinions. To top it off, the organisers are the nicest ladies and make you feel so comfortable. It would be a brilliant opportunity for your little business – you would get a lot of exposure. Free publicity in a sense. It would catapult your business a few steps forward and is exactly what you need. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Only you would need to attend the forum in person. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem with this is twofold (well multiple fold if there is such a thing). Your self-confidence is at an all-time low. Since being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition – which has left your joints and bones in literal pins and needles and constant pain – you don’t feel like yourself. Being on a stage is the last thing you want to do. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other problem is that your immune system is essentially non-existent. Especially in Winter. Which means you’re picking up every little virus, bug or disease that happens to be circulating. So, being out in public, especially amid a big crowd is a bad idea. There are ways around this of course, but you can’t bring yourself to help yourself.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You convince yourself of other reasons that you simply can’t commit to the event. And you justify them with a number of real reasons. Reasons that you could get over, in truth. And then just as soon as the opportunity came your way, it disappears in an instant.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-3.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (3)" class="wp-image-6320" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the aftermath of this ordeal, you are left wondering what on earth happened. How could you have let this opportunity slip through your fingers so easily. At least, that’s what I thought when this happened to me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Here’s the thing – and it’s kind of weird to say – I was a little worried about what would happen afterwards. Would my work-life balance be upended once again because I take on too much? I want to succeed (really badly), and I have all the right tools at my disposal to make it happen. I just can’t get out of my own way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a hard thing to come to terms with because no one wants to admit that they are the ones that could be secretly sabotaging their own success out of fear. But many people experience a hidden, yet powerful force called “fear of success.” Self-efficacy, or the belief in one’s ability to achieve goals, plays a significant role in this fear.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognise this kind of fear. Most people have never considered that a fear of success could be holding them back. But I swear to you it just may be. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>So, what is the fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">A fear of success is very real, it’s quite common and it can hold you back in the worst kind of way – it can cause you to lose out on a lot of opportunities in life. When you’re too afraid to take risks in order to move forward with the goals you have set for yourself – either consciously or unconsciously – you get stuck in one place, neither moving forward or backward.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it makes sense if you think about it – expectations of success are often based on the idea that achieving your goals means making sacrifices or enduring losses. Ultimately to get what you desire you have to give up something else, right? It’s therefore not surprising that people would be wary of what success might ultimately cost them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of success was first diagnosed by Psychologist Matina Horner during the early 1970s. Her findings, especially as they related to fear of success in women at that time, were incredibly controversial. Since then, however, most scientists and psychologists agree that fear of success exists for both men and women.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The key dimension in Horner’s (1970; Journal of Social Issues, 28(2), 157–175, 1972) studies was gender. In a current study (2023) (which further develops Horner’s theory), the key dimension is social class. It was hypothesised that individuals from socio-economically disadvantaged backgrounds fear that, for them, success will lead to alienation from their community, and the loss of identity and loss of overall sense of belonging within their culture. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Eleven participants took part in the current study, three males and eight females. The majority of participants believed that they would </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have to make vast life changes</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, in order to facilitate their views of desired success. The participants’ fear was rooted in what they perceived as the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“consequences of success.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> These participants occupied a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“trade-off mindset;”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for these young people, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">success meant leaving their family, friends, community, and culture behind</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. The thought of losing this “connection” and sense of belonging was expressed with noticeable anxiety.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">(my </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">emphasis</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As we can tell from the above extract from the study, fear of success is most often the fear of the possible change or consequences of success. It’s an anticipation of how others — and oneself — will respond to the success. The concern is that achieving success will come at the cost of something else valued in one’s life. In many ways, it’s similar to the fear of failure.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes the fear of success can be obvious. Other times it can lie just below the surface, noted in patterns of thought and/or actions repeated by the individual. It takes a high level of self-awareness to identify your own fear of success.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-4.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (4)" class="wp-image-6321" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How the fear of success can manifest in your life</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">A fear of success can manifest in a variety of ways. Identifying these sources can help you deal with your fear down the line –</span></p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Avoidance</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you may avoid being the centre of attention, being praised, or use other avoidance strategies like the plague;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Procrastination</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you may put off starting and/or completing a project. As a result of your procrastination, the opportunity may be missed altogether, or the end product may be an epic failure, either way you didn’t perform to the best of your ability;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Perfectionism</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">– you may believe that you are keeping the bar high but by holding an impossibly high standard of perfection, the outcome will inevitably be disappointing. To you and everyone else.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Quitting</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s easier to quit just as the goal comes into sight than to complete the job and let the chips fall where they may, right?</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self-sabotage</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – this is a big one. You get in your own way </span><b>All. The. Time.</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Setting obstacles in your own way so that it becomes impossible to succeed. You set yourself up to fail;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self -destructiveness</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">at its worst, the fear of success may involve self-destructive behaviour. Left unchecked, that derails any real opportunity for success. Again, you set yourself up to fail time and time again.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Reluctance to Set Goals:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> setting big goals seems scary, or arrogant or you just never make the time for it. It might be because setting such goals brings a clear pathway to success, and not setting them is a way to avoid facing the fear of achieving success.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Feeling Unworthy:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> you harbour the misguided belief that you don’t deserve success. You decline to speak at that big meeting or to be a guest on that podcast because you don’t feel good enough. It can prevent you from pursuing opportunities wholeheartedly and might make you feel like an imposter in your own life.</span></li> </ol></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What causes your fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The age-old question, right? </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The why. </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all want to know why something happens, why we do the things we do – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Imposter syndrome</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you know that old sneaky feeling of </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“my work isn’t good enough” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“they will realise my work doesn’t live up to expectations” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“they’ll find out that I’m a fraud?” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yes, a lot of us have those feelings when starting out and especially when we put ourselves out there, afraid that we will be discovered</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">as a fake / a phoney. Sometimes those of us who experience success fear our achievements are undeserved or not as good as others in our field. We fear that we won’t be able to live up to expectations or that other people will discover that we aren’t up for the challenge. I’m sure there are many of us that can relate to this one.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Tall poppy syndrome</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – this refers to a social phenomenon where people who are perceived to be more successful or prominent than others in a community are criticised, resented or targeted because of their success. It’s a dynamic where the “tall poppies” are cut down to size, essentially discouraging people from rising above the average.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Fear of backlash</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s like I said – consequences of success. People fear success because of the anticipated potential social or relational repercussions. Researchers call this phenomenon “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">backlash</span></i> <i><span style="font-weight: 400;">avoidance</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.” For example, women may avoid self-promotion because they fear it does not align with traditional gender roles. Researchers have found that women tend to associate success with more significant negative consequences;</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-5.png" alt="" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (5)" class="wp-image-6322" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Negative experiences</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – ever been called a “show off” after doing well? Even if it was said in jest. Did you feel a little pang of awkwardness or unease? Even if it was just a little. This is what I mean about negative experiences. If you have endured any hardship because of your success— you may also fear doing well again in the future.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_31 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Poor self-efficacy</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – or self-belief. This refers to how you perceive yourself and your own self-belief, how you foresee yourself achieving your goals. Naturally how you feel about yourself or your self-confidence will not only play a role in how you think about yourself, but it will also influence your behaviours and motivation to go after your goals. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_32 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_50 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Social anxiety</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– social anxiety is a mental health disorder and refers to someone’s fear about being judged or embarrassed in social situations. Because they experience intense physical symptoms of fear in these situations, they often avoid them altogether. A person with social anxiety will fear succeeding because they want to avoid being in the spotlight. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_33"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_51 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How can you overcome your fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">If, after reading the above, you realise that you have your own fear of success, then you have taken an important first step. From here it may take some trial and error before you find what works best for you, but here are some ways you can tackle this fear – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_34 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_52 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_53 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self – reflection</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I think this is one of the most important things you can do. You have acknowledged the fear, now start with trying to understand the root of it. It could be past experiences or deep-seated beliefs that are holding you back. Ask yourself, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what am I afraid of? Is this likely to happen?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And if it did happen, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how would I cope with it?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Asking yourself these questions helps you to identify the fear and then assists you to plan for how you would cope if that fear did come true.</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Examine your past experiences with success, going back to your childhood to figure out how you got here. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Think about earlier successes and what happened as a result.</span></i></p> <p> </div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_35 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_54 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_55 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Note how fear manifests</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– consider how your fear of success shows itself. I personally am not a big “journaller,” but it may be helpful to keep a journal (or perhaps just call it a notebook?) and make a list of all the ways you’ve been sabotaging your path to success. Writing it down will help put it all in focus. Identifying these behaviours means you can start facing them head on, making plans on how you can counteract them.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_36 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_56 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_57 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Visualise success</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– success, like everything in life, has its complications. So, ask yourself, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what does success mean to you? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">It may be useful to visualise success with the corresponding idea that it’s not likely to be all roses and sunshine – because let’s be honest, when is anything all roses? Nothing’s perfect. So, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what are the potential positives and negatives of being successful? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Imagine achieving your goal, what may happen as a result, and diverse ways you might deal with it.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_37"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_58 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-1-Medium.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (1) (Medium)" class="wp-image-6325" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_38 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_59 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_32"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_60 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Manage stress and anxiety</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– everyday stress and anxiety may be contributing to your fears. Here are some general lifestyle tips that can help – </span></p> <p> </p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Eat well</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – aim for a balanced diet that provides all the necessary nutrients. Don’t skip meals.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Avoid junk</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – go easy on alcohol, caffeine, and highly processed foods.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Relax</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – make time to chill so that you can read, soak in the tub or whatever helps you wind down. And I mean every day, not on an odd occasion. Everyone needs a daily wind down.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Exercise</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – some physical activity is important to overall good health. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Socialize</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – share a few laughs, talk things over, and hold your support network close.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Volunteer</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – helping others is a great way to distract you from your own fears.</span></li> </ol></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_39 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_61 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_33"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_62 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_47 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><b>Get professional help or coaching</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if the fear of success is significantly hindering your progress, considering therapy can be a beneficial step. A therapist can help in uncovering the underlying issues and can help you work through them. If therapy isn’t something you think you need, a life coach could help you examine your mindset and help you to set goals, act and shift your beliefs in more positive ways. Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is perfectly poised to support you in this endeavour. </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with her to see how you can work together.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_40"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_63 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_48 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Marianne Williamson in </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/845977.A_Return_to_Love" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’”</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> famously said:</span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A powerful quote because it demands that we ask more of ourselves. It demands that we have self-confidence because we are worthy. Beyond imagination. In fact, it tells us that we are powerful beyond measure. And that realisation can be a lot for us to bear. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because the fear of success is very real. It’s also very common. Coming to terms with it, dealing with it and learning how to overcome it can be a lifelong journey. One that you must take with self-compassion, perseverance, persistence, resilience and a big helping of self-belief in order to live a life where you are your best you through and through.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.calmer-you.com/fear-of-success/#:~:text=What%20is%20fear%20of%20success,by%20the%20idea%20of%20succeeding." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Calmer You</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-success-5179184" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind; </span></i></a><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/fear-of-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Better Up</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.mindtools.com/anwsvkb/fear-of-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mind Tools</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/fear-of-success#strategies" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Healthline</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/257488383_A_phenomenological_reinterpretation_of_Horner's_fear_of_success_in_terms_of_social_class" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Research Gate</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_34"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-6274" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_41"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_64 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_42 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_65 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_35"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_66 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_49 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/">The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 23 Jan 2021 19:49:32 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Lawyer Life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorney life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attorneys]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[big law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[braving boundaries]]></category> <category><![CDATA[business development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[climbing the corporate ladder]]></category> <category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[junior lawyer]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law recruiters]]></category> <category><![CDATA[law students]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyer tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[lawyers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal environment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal firm life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal life]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal professionals]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruiter]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal recruitment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal services]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal talent]]></category> <category><![CDATA[legal world]]></category> <category><![CDATA[marketing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[sales]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-promotion]]></category> <category><![CDATA[selling ourselves]]></category> <category><![CDATA[service industry]]></category> <category><![CDATA[services]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/dealing-with-disappointment-copy/</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you. There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[ <p>For the lawyers who hate business development and selling their services – this one is for you.</p> <p>Let’s be honest, when we became lawyers, either we believed in fairness and justice and wanted to change the world for the better or we wanted to earn lots of money (or maybe a bit of both). But, unless our parents were in the law, we had very little understanding of what the <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-around-mental-health-in-the-legal-world/">legal world</a> really was about or what it entailed. Never did we consider that, as we climbed the corporate ladder, we would have to manage people (clients and teams alike), run a business, or actually go out and sell our services! <em><strong>Where is the law in that?</strong></em></p> <p>The reality is that once we have reached the level of Partner or (if we have decided to step out on our own) Freelancer, Consultant or Sole Practitioner, until we have our client base established, our day-to-day job becomes less about law and more about marketing and business development. We have entered the world of entrepreneurialism or solopreneurialism – and I can tell you now – that’s not a particularly comfortable place for most lawyers.</p> <p>So, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why we, as lawyers, have such an in-built resistance to selling our services and explore some ideas of how to improve our attitude towards marketing ourselves.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/pexels-energepiccom-313690-e1611435063713.jpg" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="but-we-are-lawyers-not-marketers">But we are lawyers not marketers!</h3> <p>Business development is not something which we are taught in law school or during our LPC or our early years as an Associate. In fact, for many lawyers, business development is not a skill we are taught at all. And yet, from an early stage in our careers as lawyers, the “business development” criteria is a firm fixture on our appraisal forms. And it only increases in importance the higher up the corporate ladder we climb.</p> <p>For some, business development skills come naturally. But, for most, the thought of having to sell ourselves and our services without the requisite skillset to do so, causes overwhelming bouts of anxiety and stress – more so than we would care to admit. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/cheat-sheet-9-tips-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="770" height="250" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Optin-graphic.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-2418"/></a></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="my-introduction-to-business-development">My introduction to business development</h3> <p>My first introduction to the world of business development was through “<i>client drinks</i>”. When I was a mid-level Associate in Singapore, client entertainment was a big thing. We had some brilliant Partners who were incredible at business development – Nick Merritt, Laurie Pearson and Nicky Davies to name but a few. Business development, seemingly, came so naturally to them: they could talk to anyone at any level in the organisation. And people indeed were drawn towards them. It was actually quite mesmerising to watch.</p> <p>Now, you would think that business development and client entertainment would come pretty naturally to me. On the outside, I have a relatively extroverted personality. I am a chatterbox. I enjoy going out for drinks with friends. I’ll happily make a fool of myself to make others feel more comfortable. I’m a good listener and people generally like me (though there are a few exceptions). But, when it comes to people I don’t know, or people I have placed on a pedestal, or people who I am supposed to impress, or people I am indirectly selling to – my introvert appears, and I want to run for the hills.</p> <p>So when, one afternoon, we were reminded that we had to attend drinks with HSBC (a Key Client) that evening and all the top tier executives would be there, my heart sank. That all-too-familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach had reappeared. Ugh! I hated client drinks.</p> <p>Immediately, a whole host of doubts and negative beliefs popped into my head:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Who’s going to want to speak to me? I’m only a junior associate!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about finance. I’m going to come across as a right nit-wit!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I don’t know anything about what HSBC is doing. I’m going to embarrass myself and be a terrible reflection on the firm!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">I haven’t read the news this week! I can’t even talk about world events!</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1">Am I dressed ok for client drinks?</li></ul> <p>To be fair, in Singapore, I could have worn anything to client drinks and it would have been acceptable, but still, all of these doubts raced through my mind and I could feel the nerves building, a dry throat forming and foggy-headedness appearing. By 2pm, I’d already created a mountain of self-made obstacles to overcome, and the drinks hadn’t even started!</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="why-lawyers-fear-hate-business-development">Why lawyers fear / hate business development</h3> <p>I’d like to say that my experience towards business development was unique, but the more friends I’ve spoken to and more clients I’ve coached around this issue, the more I realise how endemic the fear and anxiety around sales is in the industry. </p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/[email protected]" alt=""/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p><strong><i>But why?</i></strong> Aside from the lack of skills training when it comes to business development, what preconceived ideas about ourselves – and about sales in general – are we holding on to that make business development so uncomfortable for us?</p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>The car salesman stereotype</strong> – How many of you, when you hear the word “sales”, automatically picture a gelled-back, slick car salesman with his slippery and schmoozy chat, pushing you into purchasing the latest shiny model? Yes, it’s a stereotype, but it is a stereotype firmly entrenched in our brains. So when, as lawyers we are sent out into the world to bring in new business, we immediately feel like we are becoming someone that nobody likes or wants to engage with. Needless to say, we resist the association <strong><i>at all costs!!</i><i> </i></strong></li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I’m an introvert. I don’t like talking to people, never mind selling to them </strong>– It’s funny how when it comes to sales we assume that being an introvert is a negative thing. Surely you have to be gregarious, outgoing and buoyant to sell services. Well, let me ask you this: as an introvert, how do you like to be sold to? Is it the loud and brash character that is going to attract you? Or actually is it someone who is more humble with a well-thought-through offering? Someone who is like you? </li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the experience – I’ve only been doing this for 2 years</strong> – There are varying versions of this theme: I don’t have the knowledge. I need to upskill. I need to train. I’ve only been doing this for [x] years. The point with experience though is that it only comes with practice. You have to start somewhere. You have to take that step into discomfort in order to practice and therefore improve. </li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>I don’t have the brand name</strong> – This one is more for the entrepreneurs and solopreneurs who have stepped away from Big Law and the big marketing machine that goes with it. I often hear solo / small firm lawyers stating that they can’t get work because they don’t have the brand name supporting them. But what proof exists to support that theory? There are many a successful boutique firm and sole practitioner out there who have succeeded without a big name behind them – I include myself in that group. Rather than thinking about what you are lacking, consider how your individuality and size can actually work in your favour.</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>There are other people doing this that are better than me</strong><b> – </b>I call this <i>comparisonitis. </i>Comparison is a dangerous game. We get ourselves tied up in knots when we start comparing ourselves to peers in the industry and it prevents us from moving forwards. We see people succeeding because they have skills that we don’t have. The thing is, we compare ourselves (both our successes and our failures) only against other people’s successes (their public image). We give no merit to the fact that these people may have struggled and experienced similar fears as we have along the way.</li></ol> <p>Before you’ve even begun contemplating seeking business, you have put 5 staggeringly tall hurdles in your own way. Is it any wonder that so many lawyers fear sales? It feels like one heck of a daunting mountain to climb.</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <figure class="wp-block-image"><img decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/adversity.jpg" alt="daunting mountain to climb"/></figure> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="so-how-can-lawyers-approach-business-development-with-a-healthier-mindset">So how can lawyers approach business development with a healthier mindset?</h3> <p>There is no magic wand that can be waved which suddenly makes you feel more confident with business development. It takes reflection, time and practice. But, here are 9 tips to get you started:</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1486" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Build up your confidence:</strong> Whichever rung of the corporate ladder we are currently on, doing something new or something you haven’t practised for a while, tends to throw us into a bit of a confidence crisis. Business development is no exception. </p> <p>In order to be successful in business development, you need to start believing that you can be successful. Fundamentally, YOU are your brand. And that requires some work on your confidence. When did you last sit down and consider:</p> <ul class="wp-block-list"><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What your strengths are?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What attracts you to people?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What experience you have?</li><li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="2">What skills you have?</li></ul> <p>I’m not just talking about in law. I’m talking about all the life experience that you can bring to the table. Business development is about so much more than the law. Remember, our experiences make us unique. No other lawyer in the world has the same life experiences as you do. How can you use these to your advantage?</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1487" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be You:</strong> Don’t mimic other people’s sales styles. Don’t try to be outgoing and funny if you have a more conservative and intellectual style. People are attracted to people who they can relate to and connect with. People who are genuine and trustworthy. It’s why the sleazy car salesman feels so objectionable. So, once you’ve built up your confidence – stand tall in those shoes – and just be who you are.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1488" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Stop thinking small:</strong> Clients may initially be attracted by a big brand name, but if the lawyer they end up working with is rude, incompetent or unresponsive (yes, they do exist in Big Law too), then a client will look elsewhere. Clients ultimately choose a law firm based on the lawyer(s), not the brand.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1489" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Have a plan of action:</strong> What are you looking to achieve from business development? Are you looking to start building your network and new relationships or are you looking to bring in new clients and build a practice? Whatever your goal, what ways are you looking to achieve that goal? Is it attending drinks events (or Zoom networking events as is the case now)? Is it identifying 10 target clients to nurture? Is it about getting your name out in the industry and using social media platforms (such as LinkedIn) to inform your audience about what you do? Is it a multi-pronged approach? Having a plan of action allows you to stay focused and avoids a haphazard, sporadic approach to business development.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-5 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1490" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be consistent:</strong> Business development takes time because building trust in relationships takes time. As you put your plan into action, you may not see immediate results. It doesn’t mean that you should give up on your plan. Stay consistent with your approach. Give the plan time to produce the results you are looking for. Keep showing up.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-6 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1491" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Nurture your network:</strong> Your network is your greatest asset. If you nurture and support your network, they will return the favour. It requires some work on your part: making an effort to reach out and stay in touch; attending events they host, supporting articles that they write. But what it does is to cement those relationships. These are people that know you and can already vouch for your capability. And, if you nurture those relationships, they’ll turn to you when they need you or be willing to refer work to you in the future.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/7-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1882" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Be front of mind: </strong>Consider how you can keep yourself front of mind to potential clients after your first interaction. I’ve received calls out of the blue from potential clients based on a commodities bulletin I wrote and circulated a year previously. I’ve also had people call me because my photo on my business card triggered a memory about a conversation we had at a drinks event. Think of small and subtle ways that you can stay memorable to potential clients.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/8-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1883" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Switch the focus: </strong>Often our fears of business development arise because we are too focused on ourselves. How many of you spend your time worrying about what impression you are going to make or what people will think about you? Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s not all about you. Instead of focusing on you, switch the focus to the potential client. Think about why your services and working with you can benefit them. The reason you need to tell them about your services is so they know there is a good resource out there which can actually help them achieve their goals and ambitions. Switching the focus from selling to serving makes business development a heck of a lot more palatable.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:15%"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/9-1024x1024.png" alt="" class="wp-image-1884" width="100" height="100"/></figure> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis:85%"> <p><strong>Avoid the hard sell: </strong>There is nothing worse than coming to the end of a perfectly nice conversation with someone and they go in for the hard sell or ask why you haven’t sent any work over to them yet. All of that time you have spent relationship building dissipates in seconds. The whole conversation suddenly feels disingenuous and ends on a sour note. Business development isn’t about the hard sell – it’s about building a relationship over time. So, get to know your potential clients personally. Meet them socially. Listen to their needs. Talk about work so that you understand their business and they understand yours, but avoid the hard sell. Let the relationship do the work. When an opportunity arises in the future, it will allow the conversation (an offer to help) to flow much more naturally. </p> </div> </div> <p></p> <p class="has-text-align-center">_______________________________________</p> <div style="height:50px" aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-spacer"></div> <p class="has-text-align-center"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" sizes="(max-width: 810px) 100vw, 810px" srcset="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg 810w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-300x167.png 300w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-768x427.png 768w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-500x278.png 500w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-800x444.png 800w, https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-480x267.png 480w" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image.jpg" alt=""></p> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-white-color has-black-background-color has-text-color has-background no-border-radius" target="_blank" rel="https://bravingboundaries.com/work-with-me/individual-coaching/ noopener">WORK WITH ME</a></div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/">Service over Sales: How to overcome a lawyer’s fear of business development</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/how-to-overcome-a-lawyers-fear-of-business-development/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>