<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Anxiety Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <atom:link href="https://bravingboundaries.com/category/anxiety/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/anxiety/</link> <description>PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACHING & TRAINING</description> <lastBuildDate>Tue, 29 Apr 2025 18:27:25 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-ZA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <image> <url>https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Asset-1.svg</url> <title>Anxiety Archives - Braving Boundaries</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/category/anxiety/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height> </image> <item> <title>Why We Fear Change – And How to Reframe It</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/why-we-fear-change-and-how-to-reframe-it/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/why-we-fear-change-and-how-to-reframe-it/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 29 Apr 2025 18:22:46 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding direction and purpose]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change Management]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Embracing Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Transitions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindset Shift]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[personal growth]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Reframing Challenges]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Development]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235222</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Discover why change often evokes fear and how to reframe it as an opportunity for growth. This article delves into the psychology behind our resistance to change and offers practical strategies to embrace transformation with confidence.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/why-we-fear-change-and-how-to-reframe-it/">Why We Fear Change – And How to Reframe It</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_0 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_0"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_0 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Have you ever heard the saying: “the grass is always greener on the other side” or “better the devil you know”? I have. Many times. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m not sure if it’s because I come from a religious Jewish family and the go-to was always to remain under the radar, always to be careful, always to stick with who and what we know. Never to wander too far, never to ask too many questions, never to rock the boat and certainly never to make drastic changes. Better the devil we know was the family motto. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s understandable. My grandparents – who I spent most of my time with – are from the WWII generation. Their friends and some of our family members escaped the camps. I heard the stories. It scared the hell out of me. So, I understood that safe was better. Safe meant sticking to the status quo. To what we knew. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But that’s before I became a teenager. Before I “knew” everything. Before I decided that safe was last century and that changing everything was all that mattered. I was rebellious. Part of me still is. Then again, I do have things to rebel against (but that’s a whole other story). The world seemed so big to me, while my little corner of the world seemed so small. The devil we know felt a little too familiar and I was looking for new devils to meet. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change didn’t feel so scary. When I was younger. I learnt a great deal. Met some real-life devils that’s for sure. And eveeeenually found my place in the world. But it took an embracing of change to get here. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As I have aged and experienced the world, that desire for change has dissipated. My grandparents’ view of the world seems more understandable; more palpable. And I find that now, all I want is to feel safe. To keep those I love safe. To keep everything that means something to me safe. Maybe it’s because it isn’t just about me anymore. There’s more at stake. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And I have found that I am or am becoming fearful of my life changing in an instant. Because everything can change – *snap* – just like that. In a second. And that scares the bejesus out of me.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, how have I reverted back to this old way of thinking? How have I become what I fought so hard against?</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>It’s in the Brain</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_0"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/3d-render-medical-illustration-of-the-human-brain-cerebrum-by-SomkiatFakmee-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="3d render medical illustration of the human brain cerebrum by SomkiatFakmee from Getty Images" title="3d render medical illustration of the human brain cerebrum by SomkiatFakmee from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235242" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_2 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There’s a part of the brain called the amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure located in the temporal lobe of the brain, specifically in the medial portion of each hemisphere, just anterior to the hippocampus. It is the part of the brain that is responsible for processing emotions, particularly fear and anxiety. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Neuroscientists have discovered that when it gets activated, the amygdala sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus functions like a command centre, communicating with the rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to fight or flee (a stress response). </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As you may have guessed, this fight or flight response has been deeply ingrained in our evolutionary history since forever, it’s what has kept us safe from potential threats for the last 300,000 years (or last 7 million years if you want to get technical and include the oldest hominins).</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, with modern day humans, this fight or flight response has become overused, impacting our ability to adapt and embrace new opportunities</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">therefore being more of a hinderance than a help. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_3 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>It’s Psychological</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_4 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are three main biases that affect our fear of change:</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_1 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_1 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_1"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_2 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_5 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A cognitive bias called </span><b>“the status quo bias.”</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It is what it sounds like – the bias for things to remain the same or that the current state of affairs remains the same. This bias minimises the risks associated with change, but it also causes people to miss out on potential benefits that might outweigh the risks.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The term “status quo bias” was first introduced by researchers William Samuelson and Richard Zeckhauser in 1988. In a series of controlled experiments, Samuelson and Zeckhauser found that people showed a disproportionate preference for choices that maintain the status quo.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In these experiments, participants were asked a variety of questions in which they had to take the role of decision-maker. It involved situations often faced by individuals, managers and government officials.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The results showed a strong bias in subjects’ responses. Specifically, when making an important decision, subjects were more likely to pick the option that maintained things as they were.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_2 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_3 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_2"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_4 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_6 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The reason for the status quo bias can be explained through </span><b>“the loss aversion bias” </b><span style="font-weight: 400;">– when considering potential choices, people often focus more on what they stand to lose rather than how they might benefit. According to the “prospect theory,” an economics theory developed by researchers Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky in 1979, “losses loom larger than gains.”</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">3</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In other words, the potential for loss stands out in people’s minds much more prominently than the potential for gains.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As an example, the research by Samuelson and Zeckhauser also found that younger workers were more likely to sign up for a health insurance plan that had better premiums and deductibles. Whereas older employees were more likely to stick with their old but less favourable plans.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Older employees may be more concerned with minimising any possible losses rather than risking everything on </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">potential</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> gains. They know what to expect from their current plan, so they may be less willing to accept the risks of a new plan, even though the switch might come with financial benefits.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sort of like – better the devil you know. And I totally get it. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_3"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_5 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_3"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/old-way-vs-new-way-improvement-and-change-management-concept-by-anyaberkut-from-Getty-Images.jpg" alt="old way vs new way, improvement and change management concept by anyaberkut from Getty Images" title="old way vs new way, improvement and change management concept by anyaberkut from Getty Images" class="wp-image-235244" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_4 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_6 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_4"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_7 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_7 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is one more theory that has an effect on our fear of change and that is </span><b>“the cognitive dissonance theory.”</b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The cognitive dissonance theory was hypothesised by Leon Festinger in 1957. The theory is based on the idea that two cognitions can be relevant or irrelevant to each other. Such cognitions can be about behaviours, perceptions, attitudes, emotions and beliefs. Often, one of the cognitions in question is about our behaviour. If the cognitions are relevant, they can be in agreement (consistent) or disagreement (inconsistent) with one another.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Discrepancy between an attitude and a behaviour – like eating a doughnut the day before going on a diet – leads to psychological discomfort called cognitive dissonance.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Cognitive dissonance leads to the motivation to reduce the dissonance. The stronger the discrepancy between thoughts, the greater the motivation to reduce it. There are four strategies used to reduce the discomfort of cognitive dissonance:</span></p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">We change our behaviour so that it is consistent with the other thought.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">We change one of the dissonant thoughts in order to restore consistency.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">We add other thoughts (consonant thoughts) that justify or reduce the importance of one thought and therefore diminish the inconsistency.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">We trivialise the inconsistency altogether, making it less important and less relevant.</span></li> </ol> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are two other factors that influence the magnitude of cognitive dissonance: whether you had some choice over the inconsistency and whether you expect the inconsistency to have negative consequences in the future. The more choice you had over the inconsistency and the worse the consequences, the stronger the dissonance will be.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_5"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_8 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_8 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>It’s Emotional</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_9 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Perhaps looking at the anatomy and psychology is tooooo analytical. It can just as easily be explained through our emotions because as humans we are emotional – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_6 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_9 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_5"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_10 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_10 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Fear of the unknown</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – with change comes uncertainty and I don’t know about you, but right now I tend to shy away from change because I’m anxious about what the result might be. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_7 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_11 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_6"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_12 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_11 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The moral force</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– people become so set in their ways that they honestly believe that the status quo is the right way to do things. Just like my grandparents – and now me – better the devil you know. We tend to cling strongly to the familiar, the tried and tested, to what is familiar and comfortable. It becomes “morally correct” – a term coined by noted psychologist Howard S. Friedman.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_8 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_13 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_7"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_14 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_12 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Fear of failure</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– another source of anxiety associated with change is the fear that any change will result in failure or even disaster. Like trading in your petrol car for an electric vehicle. Somewhere deep down we know that it’s better for the environment and that inevitably we will all one day be driving electric cars, but there is that fear – at least in South Africa – that there aren’t enough charging stations, and that we’ll get stranded because we couldn’t charge our car. In reality, it’s exactly the same as being stranded because we ran out of gas, but because it’s new and unknown, we immediately assume the worse – failure.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_9"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_15 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_8"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Thoughtful-Bored-Lonely-Teen-Girl-in-Glasses-Feeling-Apathy-Sadly-Pondering-Sitting-on-Couch-at-Home-by-dimaberlinphotos.jpg" alt="Thoughtful Bored Lonely Teen Girl in Glasses Feeling Apathy Sadly Pondering Sitting on Couch at Home by dimaberlinphotos" title="Thoughtful Bored Lonely Teen Girl in Glasses Feeling Apathy Sadly Pondering Sitting on Couch at Home by dimaberlinphotos" class="wp-image-235245" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_10 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_16 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_9"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_17 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_13 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Apathy</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– sometimes people resist change simply because it takes effort. It takes effort to learn a new procedure and it takes work to adapt to change – like a diet and getting fit. It takes work. And sometimes people see the work or the effort as not worth it. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_11 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_18 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_10"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_19 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_14 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Mistrust of changemakers</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– many people resist change because they are wary of those advocating change. They may doubt the knowledge and credentials of those advocating the change, known as the changemakers. Why is changing so important to them – are there ulterior motives? Just like during COVID and with the COVID vaccines.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_12"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_20 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_15 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>Reframing The Fear</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_16 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Reframing our fears so we see them as opportunities is crucial if we want real change, so taking the fears, we listed above, let’s reframe them in a way that’s positive. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_13 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_21 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_11"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_22 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_17 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Fear of the unknown</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – knowing the full details about the situation is crucial. Being told what the benefits and drawbacks are can change the whole scenario for you. Always insist on clear and credible information so that you can make proper and informed decisions. This can help alleviate the fear of unknown outcomes caused by change.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_14 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_23 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_12"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_24 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_18 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>The moral force</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – although combating a moral force is difficult it’s the presentation of evidence that the new way is better than the old way that will win the day. It sounds like an obvious thing. But showing the sceptic proof is key.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_15"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_25 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_13"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Hand-Opening-Blind-to-See-the-Sun-by-calimiel-from-pixabay.jpg" alt="Hand Opening Blind to See the Sun by calimiel from pixabay" title="Hand Opening Blind to See the Sun by calimiel from pixabay" class="wp-image-235243" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_16 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_26 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_14"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_27 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_19 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Fear of failure</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– providing assurances that a worst-case-scenario is unlikely is the best way to help people overcome their fear of failure.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_17 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_28 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_15"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_29 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_20 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Apathy</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– motivation is everything! Motivating a sceptic is critical for overcoming change-related apathy. Focusing on the desirable outcomes of a change process can help incentivise naysayers.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_18 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_30 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_16"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_31 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_21 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Mistrust of changemakers</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– changemakers must first establish their credibility. They need to be transparent and clear about the benefits and potential risks associated with the change, provide a good rationale for why people should change and monitor the change process while providing support.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_19"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_32 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_22 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of change is a complex phenomenon that is influenced by many things – anatomical, psychological and emotional. But by understanding the underlying causes of our fear – of my fear – of change, we can implement small strategies to address them, thereby improving on our adaptability and flexibility as we navigate our way through the world. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Change is not only an external thing that needs to be monitored. It is an “inside job” that needs to be navigated with care. Embracing change as a natural and necessary part of growth and development is key to overcoming our fears and, as a result, achieving long-term success.</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you need help navigating your fear of change, book a consult with Frieda Levycky at <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/">Braving Boundaries</a> today.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202408/why-are-people-so-resistant-to-change" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Psychology Today</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://medium.com/change-becomes-you/why-we-are-resistant-to-change-489a6f06d234" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Medium</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/psychology-change-understanding-human-resistance-how-david-mccreery-ave2c/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">LinkedIn</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response#:~:text=When%20someone%20experiences%20a%20stressful,after%20the%20danger%20has%20passed." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Harvard Health Publishing</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/status-quo-bias-psychological-definition-4065385" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-dissonance-theory/#:~:text=What%20is%20cognitive%20dissonance%20theory,beliefs%20to%20achieve%20internal%20consistency." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Positive Psychology</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_17"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-8.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (8)" class="wp-image-235236" /></span></a> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_0 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_20 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_33 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_18"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_34 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_23 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/why-we-fear-change-and-how-to-reframe-it/">Why We Fear Change – And How to Reframe It</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/why-we-fear-change-and-how-to-reframe-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>When life feels out of control: 5 ways to find your anchor</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/when-life-feels-out-of-control/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/when-life-feels-out-of-control/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 26 Feb 2025 06:17:07 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[work-life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Finding Your Anchor]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Life Advice]]></category> <category><![CDATA[life balance]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Personal development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self care]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=235118</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/when-life-feels-out-of-control/">When life feels out of control: 5 ways to find your anchor</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_1 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_21"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_35 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_24 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Catching up with an old friend the other day we were both struck with how off kilter our lives seemed to be. She lives thousands of miles away in one of the coldest cities on earth and I live in sunny South Africa, where I have lived all my life. I know, nothing to write home about. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And yet, our lives have both taken such drastic turns. Mine with fighting constant pain as well as my mental health struggles and her with her own mental health struggles and the constant battle to keep her and her husbands’ head above water. It’s enough to send anyone diving under the covers seeking refuge from the world. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The thing that struck us is the fact that despite living two very different lives, growing up quite differently, having different careers and very different personalities, our struggles didn’t seem very different. We both struggle with anxiety and depression – the two going so nicely hand-in-hand – and are both feeling very untethered from the world. Both needing an anchor – her in the snow and me in the sun.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s funny how catchups can sometimes turn into revelations. Especially with old friends. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And that got me thinking. If two friends on literal opposite ends of the world are feeling exactly the same, surely more people are feeling less tethered to the world than they would like. I mean the world as we know it is so inundated with expectations. We’re constantly – whether this is through social media, advertising or even well-meaning advice from friends and family – to “be” this or “do” that, that the pressure to conform can be overwhelming. We’re often forced into moulds that we just don’t fit into, making us feel estranged from who we truly are. We feel unaligned with our true selves, fighting to just be seen. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it can make us feel so alone. So unheard. So desperate to find our way back to who we are and what we want out of life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If that’s the case and it’s more than just my friend and I that feel this way, maybe it’s a good idea to look into this – loss of control. For my friend, for me and for whoever reads this. </span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_25 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>5 Ways to Find Your Anchor</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_19"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Woman-in-Black-Spaghetti-Strap-Top-Meditating-by-Mikhail-Nilov-from-Pexels.jpg" alt="Woman in Black Spaghetti Strap Top Meditating by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels" title="Woman in Black Spaghetti Strap Top Meditating by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels" class="wp-image-235140" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_26 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Having an anchor in life – whatever that anchor is – allows you to have clarity amidst all of life’s chaos and confusion. The practice of being anchored can also help you focus your energy on the things that are important to you in life, keeping you moving in the right direction and keeping you on track with meeting your goals. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, here are 5 ways that you can keep yourself anchored – </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_22 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_36 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_20"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_37 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_27 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Practice a body scan breathing exercise</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – This is a mindfulness meditation practice and is a pretty beneficial way to reconnect with your body, calm your mind and connect with your emotions. You start by finding a comfortable, preferably quiet place to sit or lie down comfortably. Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. Start at your head and move down to your toes, taking slow deep breaths as you focus on each part of your body. </p> <p>Notice how each part feels, paying special attention to any physical sensations, emotions or thoughts that come up. Keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to do it. If you get distracted (which is ok), redirect your mind back to the process and start where you left off. Take a deep breath in, focus on your hands – how do they feel, move your fingers, what sensation do you feel? Do any emotions come up as you move your fingers? Feel the energy flow through your fingers as you move them around. Let your breath out. Count to 5, now move to your chest… and so on.</p> <p>This should help you feel calm, reduce stress and help you feel more connected to your body, something we don’t do enough of. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_23 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_38 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_21"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_39 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_28 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Repeat this mantra – <i>I am just (insert name)</i> </strong><span style="font-weight: 400;">– This is an important practice not only of self-acceptance but also of acknowledging that that is who you are. It’s like an anchor to your core identity; to feeling like your authentic self. Whenever you feel lost, repeat this mantra to yourself and allow it to reconnect you with who you really are. Anchor your name to the person you want to be – to your core self. Have it mean something other than “your name”. The things that make you “you” become your “anchor.” Anchoring is the practice of returning to this awareness, grounding yourself back in the person you’ve consciously chosen to be. </p> <p>“</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">I am Alicia. I am a successful writer, loving wife, mother to four fur babies, romantic, world explorer, dreamer and never-say-die optimist</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">”. That’s who I AM. That is my core identity. What’s yours? Have it mean something. So, when you are in doubt, remind yourself of </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">who you ARE. </span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_24"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_40 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_22"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="2000" height="1500" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Mindfulness-Practices-Woman-Journaling-by-Eliza-Alves-from-corelens.jpg" alt="Mindfulness Practices Woman Journaling by Eliza Alves from corelens" title="Mindfulness Practices Woman Journaling by Eliza Alves from corelens" class="wp-image-235139" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_25 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_41 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_23"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_42 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_29 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Practice mindfulness in everything you do</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – Ok maybe not everything you do, pick two things. Be realistic. Like mindfully walking or mindfully brushing your teeth. It’s the act of becoming more self-aware and noticing your thoughts and feelings while you perform normal, everyday activities. According to the </span><a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mayo Clinic</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. It’s about getting to know yourself through menial acts and not judging how you react to certain banal activities. It’s like getting down to basics and really reacquainting you with you. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_26 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_43 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_24"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_44 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_30 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Name three people</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – This is another act in developing better self-awareness. Name three people whose values you are drawn to and with whom you have fostered a deeper personal connection. This exercise will increase your awareness of what qualities you want and what would be impactful for you in that exact moment. You can start by thinking of three people who you admire. These could include celebrities, athletes or family members. Hold them in your mind and list all the qualities you admire about them. Then use the list and look at how you spend your time, energy and resources. Interestingly, the list you generate is like shining a flashlight on the values and skills you aspire to have in your own life. Perhaps you admire someone who speaks eloquently and you want more of that in your life. You could begin spending time with others who possess this quality, take a class to develop this skill or set an intention to act more in that manner throughout the day. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_27 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_45 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_25"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_46 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_31 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Visualise and apply</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– This is something you can do every day. Start by visualising your ideal day, what does it look like? Where would you be? What would you be doing? Who would be there with you? How would you feel? Focus on that. Then start with your mini action plan. Ask yourself what you really want for the day, set those goals and then, for that day, take consistent action towards achieving your ultimate vision for the day. I find that having mini goals each day and then working towards achieving them makes it feel less daunting. Like today I have achieved X and that can feel so rewarding when your life feels so untethered. Then, by the end of the week, you’ll have achieved a number of things – making the mountain into a mole hill – easy to traverse. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_28"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_47 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_32 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">All of these exercises are there to help you find your way back to you. They are there to help you plant your feet back onto the ground, tethering you to the Earths’ surface. That way you not only feel connected to yourself, but you can also start building connections to other people, taking daily steps to do more of what is good for you. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, find your anchor, something that resides within you and that remains untouched by the external chaos. It can be your value system, your faith, a creative outlet or a connection with nature. The essence lies in cultivating a connection with yourself. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">By discovering your anchors, you become very selective with your energy and where you direct it. Enjoy the process and above anything else, be kind to yourself during this process. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s something my friend and I remind each other of as we undertake to do – at the very least – practice mindfulness while we brush our teeth (it’s twice a day all!), get reconnected with our bodies and remind ourselves about who we </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">are –</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> every single day. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you need help in practicing mindfulness or becoming more self-aware while you are finding your anchor, contact Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> who can support you in creating the life you want. </span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks – </span></i><a href="https://www.cexperiences.com/how-to-find-a-solid-anchor-for-your-life/"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">CExperiences</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://braincleanupcoach.com/how-to-identify-your-anchors/"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Brain CleanUp</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.gvsu.edu/cms4/asset/8C0B809B-0726-4E3B-1EBA4A40A82D8597/developing-the-anchor_blog.pdf"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Developing the Anchor</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.kratimehra.com/anchor-grounded-confident-uncertainty/#:~:text=A%20certain%20degree%20of%20self,buy%2C%20or%20your%20social%20image."><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kratimehra</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://medium.com/@shorombo/staying-grounded-in-a-fast-paced-world-the-power-of-personal-anchoring-f04cd9a26897"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Medium</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and </span></i><a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mayo Clinic</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_26"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-2.jpg" alt="End of blog post CTA" title="End of blog post CTA image (2)" class="wp-image-235137" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_1 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_29 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_48 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_27"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_49 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_33 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/when-life-feels-out-of-control/">When life feels out of control: 5 ways to find your anchor</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/when-life-feels-out-of-control/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Facing the uncontrollable: Managing irrational fears</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-uncontrollable-managing-irrational-fears/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-uncontrollable-managing-irrational-fears/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 21 Nov 2024 06:19:07 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-reflection]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress & Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[conquering anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coping with anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Emotional resilience]]></category> <category><![CDATA[facing your fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of drowning]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of flying]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of public speaking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of the unknown]]></category> <category><![CDATA[how to manage fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[irrational fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[letting go of fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[living with uncertainty]]></category> <category><![CDATA[managing fear and anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[overcoming fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[practical tips for fear management]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=234987</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-uncontrollable-managing-irrational-fears/">Facing the uncontrollable: Managing irrational fears</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_2 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_30"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_50 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_34 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY FRIEDA LEVYCKY, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/" style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;">BRAVING BOUNDARIES</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em></em></span></strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m terrified of being in the water. Sharks, the unknown depths below, Cape Town’s freezing temperature and the fact I’m not the strongest swimmer, all contribute to this fear. Throw in that I nearly drowned when I was six, and it’s safe to say the ocean and I have a complicated relationship.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Am I over it? Absolutely not. But there was a point when I realised that if I didn’t at least try, I’d miss out on some of life’s most incredible experiences. Things like snorkelling with friends in Bali, swimming across the equator in Uganda, surfing (once) in Bondi and jet-skiing around James Bond Island in Thailand. And yes, even having my bum kissed by a grouper fish in the Whitsundays – an entertaining experience for all those watching! So, I took swimming lessons. I didn’t enjoy it and I still have that familiar pang of dread when I think about jumping into open water, but I’ve chipped away at the fear enough to stop it ruling my life.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">That’s the thing about irrational fears. They have this way of taking hold of us, limiting us and making the world feel smaller. So how do we manage them when they’re not exactly logical?</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_28"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Woman-Snorkeling-by-blueorangestudio.png" alt="Woman Snorkeling by blueorangestudio" title="Woman Snorkeling by blueorangestudio" class="wp-image-234994" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_35 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What are irrational fears?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_36 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Irrational fears are tricky to pin down. They’re not like rational fears that kick in to keep us safe e.g. the ones that stop us from touching a hot stove or walking into traffic. Instead, irrational fears creep in and blow things wildly out of proportion. They tell us that if we don’t control every little detail, disaster is just around the corner. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These fears can come from past experiences (like almost drowning), stories we’ve been told or just our own imagination. And even though they don’t make much sense, they feel very, very real.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span></p> <h3><b>Common examples of irrational fears</b></h3> <p><b></b></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You might recognise some of these: </span></p> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Keeping your kids on a short leash because you’re terrified something bad will happen. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Avoiding outdoor adventures during snake season – even when the chances of seeing one are pretty slim. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Worrying that every little ache or pain is the start of a rare, life-altering illness. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Refusing to get on a plane because turbulence might mean disaster – even though you know flying is far safer than driving.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dreading public speaking because you are convinced that you’ll forget your words, trip over your feet or face judgment from everyone in the room.</span></li> </ul> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sound familiar? The problem is, when these fears go unchecked, they don’t just sit quietly in the background. They stop us from living.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_29"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Plane-in-the-Sunset-Sky-by-jakubgojda.png" alt="" title="Plane in the Sunset Sky by jakubgojda" class="wp-image-234992" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_37 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>Why do we have irrational fears?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_38 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Our brains are wired to protect us. The fight-or-flight response kicks in whenever it thinks we’re in danger, but it’s not always the best judge of what’s </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">actually</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> dangerous. Instead, it reacts to uncertainty with a loud, panicky: “</span><b><i>What if?!</i></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The world is messy and unpredictable and, as much as we’d like to, we can’t control everything. Irrational fears are often about trying to create the illusion of control – but that illusion comes at a cost.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_39 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>So how do we manage irrational fears?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_40 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The good news is that you don’t have to let these fears control you. Here are a few things that have helped me and others overcome their irrational fears:</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_31 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_51 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_30"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_52 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_41 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Name the fear</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Start by acknowledging the fear. Say it out loud. Write it down. Whatever works. Once you name it, it becomes something you can deal with rather than something that just looms in the background.</span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_32 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_53 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_31"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_54 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_42 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Check the odds</strong></p> <p><b></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ask yourself: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“What are the real chances of this fear actually becoming a reality?”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Nine times out of ten, they’re much lower than your fear would have you believe. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_33 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_55 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_32"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_56 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_43 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Reframe it</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">What can you control? For me, it was learning to swim. I couldn’t make the ocean safer or warmer or shark-free, but I could make myself feel a little more confident in the water. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_34 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_57 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_33"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_58 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_44 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Start small </strong></p> <p><b></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">You don’t need to dive straight into the deep end – literally or figuratively. Take baby steps. Dip your toes in, get comfortable and go from there. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Clearly, I couldn’t resist the swimming pun </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f60a.png" alt="😊" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></i></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_35 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_59 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_34"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_60 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_45 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Talk it through</strong></p> <p><b></b><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whether it’s with a friend, a coach or a therapist, sharing your fear can give you a fresh perspective. Sometimes just hearing someone say: </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“That’s not as scary as it sounds”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, is enough to quieten the panic. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_36 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_61 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_35"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_62 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_46 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><strong>Stay in the present</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When your fear spirals into worst-case scenarios, grounding techniques can help. Focus on your surroundings, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you’re ok right now. </span></p></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_37"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_63 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_36"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1500" height="1125" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Frieda-Levycky-Cape-Town.png" alt="" title="Frieda Levycky Cape Town" class="wp-image-234993" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_47 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What happens when you let go of your irrational fear?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_48 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The reality is that no one gets through life without uncertainty. However, the more you let irrational fears dictate your actions, the more of life you miss out on. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I’m still not a water baby, but I’ll never forget the feeling of snorkelling in crystal-clear waters in Bali and seeing the shoals of brightly-coloured angelfish, clownfish and butterflyfish. That experience alone was worth every uncomfortable step I took to get there.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_49 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><b>What irrational fear is holding you back?</b></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_50 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, what about you? Is there an irrational fear that is stopping you from doing something you love or want to experience? If so, what’s one small step you can take to face it? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Bravery isn’t about being fearless. It’s about feeling the fear, doing it anyway and discovering that life on the other side is usually far less scary (and far more rewarding) than you imagined.</span></p></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_37"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-6274" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-uncontrollable-managing-irrational-fears/">Facing the uncontrollable: Managing irrational fears</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/facing-the-uncontrollable-managing-irrational-fears/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</title> <link>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/</link> <comments>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[friedaL2020]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 17 Sep 2024 06:18:56 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Business Development]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[The Fears series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorised]]></category> <category><![CDATA[addressing your fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[be the best you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of change]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of failure]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear of success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear series]]></category> <category><![CDATA[finding success]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stepping into change]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://bravingboundaries.com/?p=6301</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/">The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="et_pb_section et_pb_section_3 et_section_regular" > <div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_38"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_64 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_51 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h5><strong><span style="color: #be9727;"><em>WRITTEN BY ALICIA KOCH, FOUNDER OF <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #be9727; text-decoration: underline;" href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">THE LEGAL BELLETRIST</a></span> </em></span></strong></h5> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Picture this – you are contacted by a prestigious corporate association – or something similar – to speak at an upcoming legal forum. Not just to speak at the forum, to be </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">the</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> speaker at the forum. And it’s on a topic that you have researched countless times, speak about constantly and on which you have plenty of opinions. To top it off, the organisers are the nicest ladies and make you feel so comfortable. It would be a brilliant opportunity for your little business – you would get a lot of exposure. Free publicity in a sense. It would catapult your business a few steps forward and is exactly what you need. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Only you would need to attend the forum in person. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The problem with this is twofold (well multiple fold if there is such a thing). Your self-confidence is at an all-time low. Since being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition – which has left your joints and bones in literal pins and needles and constant pain – you don’t feel like yourself. Being on a stage is the last thing you want to do. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other problem is that your immune system is essentially non-existent. Especially in Winter. Which means you’re picking up every little virus, bug or disease that happens to be circulating. So, being out in public, especially amid a big crowd is a bad idea. There are ways around this of course, but you can’t bring yourself to help yourself.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You convince yourself of other reasons that you simply can’t commit to the event. And you justify them with a number of real reasons. Reasons that you could get over, in truth. And then just as soon as the opportunity came your way, it disappears in an instant.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_38"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-3.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (3)" class="wp-image-6320" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_52 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the aftermath of this ordeal, you are left wondering what on earth happened. How could you have let this opportunity slip through your fingers so easily. At least, that’s what I thought when this happened to me. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Here’s the thing – and it’s kind of weird to say – I was a little worried about what would happen afterwards. Would my work-life balance be upended once again because I take on too much? I want to succeed (really badly), and I have all the right tools at my disposal to make it happen. I just can’t get out of my own way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s a hard thing to come to terms with because no one wants to admit that they are the ones that could be secretly sabotaging their own success out of fear. But many people experience a hidden, yet powerful force called “fear of success.” Self-efficacy, or the belief in one’s ability to achieve goals, plays a significant role in this fear.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognise this kind of fear. Most people have never considered that a fear of success could be holding them back. But I swear to you it just may be. </span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_53 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>So, what is the fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_54 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">A fear of success is very real, it’s quite common and it can hold you back in the worst kind of way – it can cause you to lose out on a lot of opportunities in life. When you’re too afraid to take risks in order to move forward with the goals you have set for yourself – either consciously or unconsciously – you get stuck in one place, neither moving forward or backward.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And it makes sense if you think about it – expectations of success are often based on the idea that achieving your goals means making sacrifices or enduring losses. Ultimately to get what you desire you have to give up something else, right? It’s therefore not surprising that people would be wary of what success might ultimately cost them. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The fear of success was first diagnosed by Psychologist Matina Horner during the early 1970s. Her findings, especially as they related to fear of success in women at that time, were incredibly controversial. Since then, however, most scientists and psychologists agree that fear of success exists for both men and women.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The key dimension in Horner’s (1970; Journal of Social Issues, 28(2), 157–175, 1972) studies was gender. In a current study (2023) (which further develops Horner’s theory), the key dimension is social class. It was hypothesised that individuals from socio-economically disadvantaged backgrounds fear that, for them, success will lead to alienation from their community, and the loss of identity and loss of overall sense of belonging within their culture. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Eleven participants took part in the current study, three males and eight females. The majority of participants believed that they would </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">have to make vast life changes</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">, in order to facilitate their views of desired success. The participants’ fear was rooted in what they perceived as the </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“consequences of success.”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> These participants occupied a </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“trade-off mindset;”</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for these young people, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">success meant leaving their family, friends, community, and culture behind</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">. The thought of losing this “connection” and sense of belonging was expressed with noticeable anxiety.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">(my </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">emphasis</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As we can tell from the above extract from the study, fear of success is most often the fear of the possible change or consequences of success. It’s an anticipation of how others — and oneself — will respond to the success. The concern is that achieving success will come at the cost of something else valued in one’s life. In many ways, it’s similar to the fear of failure.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes the fear of success can be obvious. Other times it can lie just below the surface, noted in patterns of thought and/or actions repeated by the individual. It takes a high level of self-awareness to identify your own fear of success.</span></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_39"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-4.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (4)" class="wp-image-6321" /></span> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_55 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How the fear of success can manifest in your life</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_56 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">A fear of success can manifest in a variety of ways. Identifying these sources can help you deal with your fear down the line –</span></p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Avoidance</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you may avoid being the centre of attention, being praised, or use other avoidance strategies like the plague;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Procrastination</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you may put off starting and/or completing a project. As a result of your procrastination, the opportunity may be missed altogether, or the end product may be an epic failure, either way you didn’t perform to the best of your ability;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Perfectionism</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">– you may believe that you are keeping the bar high but by holding an impossibly high standard of perfection, the outcome will inevitably be disappointing. To you and everyone else.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Quitting</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s easier to quit just as the goal comes into sight than to complete the job and let the chips fall where they may, right?</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self-sabotage</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – this is a big one. You get in your own way </span><b>All. The. Time.</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Setting obstacles in your own way so that it becomes impossible to succeed. You set yourself up to fail;</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Self -destructiveness</strong><b> – </b><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">at its worst, the fear of success may involve self-destructive behaviour. Left unchecked, that derails any real opportunity for success. Again, you set yourself up to fail time and time again.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Reluctance to Set Goals:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> setting big goals seems scary, or arrogant or you just never make the time for it. It might be because setting such goals brings a clear pathway to success, and not setting them is a way to avoid facing the fear of achieving success.</span></span> </li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><strong>Feeling Unworthy:</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> you harbour the misguided belief that you don’t deserve success. You decline to speak at that big meeting or to be a guest on that podcast because you don’t feel good enough. It can prevent you from pursuing opportunities wholeheartedly and might make you feel like an imposter in your own life.</span></li> </ol></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_57 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>What causes your fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_58 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The age-old question, right? </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">The why. </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">We all want to know why something happens, why we do the things we do – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_39 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_65 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_40"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_66 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_59 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Imposter syndrome</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – you know that old sneaky feeling of </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“my work isn’t good enough” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“they will realise my work doesn’t live up to expectations” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">or </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“they’ll find out that I’m a fraud?” </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Yes, a lot of us have those feelings when starting out and especially when we put ourselves out there, afraid that we will be discovered</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">as a fake / a phoney. Sometimes those of us who experience success fear our achievements are undeserved or not as good as others in our field. We fear that we won’t be able to live up to expectations or that other people will discover that we aren’t up for the challenge. I’m sure there are many of us that can relate to this one.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_40 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_67 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_41"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_68 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_60 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Tall poppy syndrome</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – this refers to a social phenomenon where people who are perceived to be more successful or prominent than others in a community are criticised, resented or targeted because of their success. It’s a dynamic where the “tall poppies” are cut down to size, essentially discouraging people from rising above the average.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_41 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_69 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_42"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_70 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_61 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Fear of backlash</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– it’s like I said – consequences of success. People fear success because of the anticipated potential social or relational repercussions. Researchers call this phenomenon “</span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">backlash</span></i> <i><span style="font-weight: 400;">avoidance</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">.” For example, women may avoid self-promotion because they fear it does not align with traditional gender roles. Researchers have found that women tend to associate success with more significant negative consequences;</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_42"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_71 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_43"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-5.png" alt="" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (5)" class="wp-image-6322" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_43 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_72 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_44"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_73 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_62 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Negative experiences</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – ever been called a “show off” after doing well? Even if it was said in jest. Did you feel a little pang of awkwardness or unease? Even if it was just a little. This is what I mean about negative experiences. If you have endured any hardship because of your success— you may also fear doing well again in the future.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_44 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_74 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_45"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_75 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_63 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Poor self-efficacy</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – or self-belief. This refers to how you perceive yourself and your own self-belief, how you foresee yourself achieving your goals. Naturally how you feel about yourself or your self-confidence will not only play a role in how you think about yourself, but it will also influence your behaviours and motivation to go after your goals. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_45 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_76 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_46"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/6.jpg" alt="" title="6" class="wp-image-1491" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_77 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_64 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Social anxiety</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– social anxiety is a mental health disorder and refers to someone’s fear about being judged or embarrassed in social situations. Because they experience intense physical symptoms of fear in these situations, they often avoid them altogether. A person with social anxiety will fear succeeding because they want to avoid being in the spotlight. </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_46"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_78 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_65 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><h2><strong>How can you overcome your fear of success?</strong></h2></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_66 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">If, after reading the above, you realise that you have your own fear of success, then you have taken an important first step. From here it may take some trial and error before you find what works best for you, but here are some ways you can tackle this fear – </span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_47 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_79 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_47"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1.png" alt="" title="1" class="wp-image-1486" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_80 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_67 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Self – reflection</strong><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – I think this is one of the most important things you can do. You have acknowledged the fear, now start with trying to understand the root of it. It could be past experiences or deep-seated beliefs that are holding you back. Ask yourself, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what am I afraid of? Is this likely to happen?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> And if it did happen, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">how would I cope with it?</span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Asking yourself these questions helps you to identify the fear and then assists you to plan for how you would cope if that fear did come true.</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">Examine your past experiences with success, going back to your childhood to figure out how you got here. </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Think about earlier successes and what happened as a result.</span></i></p> <p> </div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_48 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_81 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_48"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/2.png" alt="" title="2" class="wp-image-1487" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_82 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_68 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Note how fear manifests</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– consider how your fear of success shows itself. I personally am not a big “journaller,” but it may be helpful to keep a journal (or perhaps just call it a notebook?) and make a list of all the ways you’ve been sabotaging your path to success. Writing it down will help put it all in focus. Identifying these behaviours means you can start facing them head on, making plans on how you can counteract them.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_49 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_83 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_49"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/3.jpg" alt="" title="3" class="wp-image-1488" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_84 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_69 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Visualise success</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– success, like everything in life, has its complications. So, ask yourself, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what does success mean to you? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">It may be useful to visualise success with the corresponding idea that it’s not likely to be all roses and sunshine – because let’s be honest, when is anything all roses? Nothing’s perfect. So, </span><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">what are the potential positives and negatives of being successful? </span></i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Imagine achieving your goal, what may happen as a result, and diverse ways you might deal with it.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_50"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_85 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_50"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-of-success-braving-boundaries-1-Medium.png" alt="fear of success - braving boundaries" title="fear of success - braving boundaries (1) (Medium)" class="wp-image-6325" /></span> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_51 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_86 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_51"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/4.png" alt="" title="4" class="wp-image-1489" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_87 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_70 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><strong>Manage stress and anxiety</strong> <span style="font-weight: 400;">– everyday stress and anxiety may be contributing to your fears. Here are some general lifestyle tips that can help – </span></p> <p> </p> <ol> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Eat well</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – aim for a balanced diet that provides all the necessary nutrients. Don’t skip meals.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Avoid junk</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – go easy on alcohol, caffeine, and highly processed foods.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Relax</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – make time to chill so that you can read, soak in the tub or whatever helps you wind down. And I mean every day, not on an odd occasion. Everyone needs a daily wind down.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Exercise</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – some physical activity is important to overall good health. </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Socialize</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – share a few laughs, talk things over, and hold your support network close.</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><b>Volunteer</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – helping others is a great way to distract you from your own fears.</span></li> </ol></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_52 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_88 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_52"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.png" alt="" title="5" class="wp-image-1490" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_89 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_71 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><b>Get professional help or coaching</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> – if the fear of success is significantly hindering your progress, considering therapy can be a beneficial step. A therapist can help in uncovering the underlying issues and can help you work through them. If therapy isn’t something you think you need, a life coach could help you examine your mindset and help you to set goals, act and shift your beliefs in more positive ways. Frieda Levycky of </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Braving Boundaries</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is perfectly poised to support you in this endeavour. </span><a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get in touch</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> with her to see how you can work together.</span></div> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_53"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_90 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_72 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Marianne Williamson in </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/845977.A_Return_to_Love" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’”</span></i></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> famously said:</span></p> <blockquote><p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”</span></i></p></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A powerful quote because it demands that we ask more of ourselves. It demands that we have self-confidence because we are worthy. Beyond imagination. In fact, it tells us that we are powerful beyond measure. And that realisation can be a lot for us to bear. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Because the fear of success is very real. It’s also very common. Coming to terms with it, dealing with it and learning how to overcome it can be a lifelong journey. One that you must take with self-compassion, perseverance, persistence, resilience and a big helping of self-belief in order to live a life where you are your best you through and through.</span></p> <p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Sources used and to whom we owe thanks: </span></i><a href="https://www.calmer-you.com/fear-of-success/#:~:text=What%20is%20fear%20of%20success,by%20the%20idea%20of%20succeeding." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Calmer You</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-success-5179184" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Very Well Mind; </span></i></a><a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/fear-of-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Better Up</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.mindtools.com/anwsvkb/fear-of-success" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mind Tools</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/fear-of-success#strategies" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Healthline</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">; </span></i><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/257488383_A_phenomenological_reinterpretation_of_Horner's_fear_of_success_in_terms_of_social_class" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">Research Gate</span></i></a><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">). </span></i></div> </div><div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_53"> <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/contact-me/"><span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="810" height="450" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/End-of-blog-post-CTA-image-5.png" alt="" title="End of blog post CTA image (5)" class="wp-image-6274" /></span></a> </div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_54"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_4_4 et_pb_column_91 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_divider et_pb_divider_2 et_pb_divider_position_bottom et_pb_space"><div class="et_pb_divider_internal"></div></div> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_row et_pb_row_55 et_pb_gutters1"> <div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_1_4 et_pb_column_92 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_image et_pb_image_54"> <span class="et_pb_image_wrap "><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1080" height="1080" src="https://bravingboundaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Alicia-Koch-The-Legal-Belletrist.jpg" alt="" title="Alicia Koch - The Legal Belletrist" class="wp-image-1704" /></span> </div> </div><div class="et_pb_column et_pb_column_3_4 et_pb_column_93 et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et-last-child"> <div class="et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_73 et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light"> <div class="et_pb_text_inner">About the Author, <strong><em>Alicia Koch, Founder of The Legal Belletrist.</em></strong> Alicia, an admitted attorney with over 10 years PQE, and now a legal writer and researcher, has established The Legal Belletrist to assist companies (in different sectors) to write well-researched articles that speak to each company’s core business, enabling growth and commercialism.</p> <p>Click here to visit <a href="https://legalwhizz.wixsite.com/thelegalbelletrist">The Legal Belletrist website</a>. <strong>Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">[email protected]</a> </strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The post <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/">The Fear of Success – why are you afraid of being the best you?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bravingboundaries.com">Braving Boundaries</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://bravingboundaries.com/the-fear-of-success-why-are-you-afraid-of-being-the-best-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>